Me: It's the 15 chapter!
Aarnav: This is actually only the 14 chapter. You skipped chapter 13.
Me: I will neither confirm or deny that.
Fitz: Why did you skip chapter 13.
Me: Some people say it's an unlucky number so I skipped it so people who didn't like the number could still read this book.
Biana: Why do humans have unlucky numbers that's so weird.
Me: It's not nice to make fun of people's cultures and tradition even if you think it's weird. Besides I could go on for hours about how messed up, unromantic, boring, lame, discriminatory and hurtful your matchmaking system is.
Keefe: I thought you said you weren't going to poop on other people cultures.
Me: Your fictional characters. You don't matter.
Linh: That wasn't very nice.
Me: Well it's true.
Marella: Your just a living sac of water and carbon randomly created by evolution with the sole purpose of reproducing.
Me: Now I understand why people opt for a religious view on life. That reminds me, do elves have religion.
Fitz: We don't have god(s), religious ceremony's or really important books if that's what your asking.
Sophie: But we do have arbitrary beliefs like about how you must keep one of each species alive to stop the timeline to extinction or something like that.
Me: I don't see what's the point of keeping species alive. The second the animal fails to accomplish it's role in it's ecosystem the damage is done. To add to that it's not like you can reintroduce the animal 1000 years later. It would be either not be evolved for the ecosystem or have no predators and become an invasive species.
Marella: I didn't understand a word you just said.
Me: I thought elves were suppose to be super smart or something.
Everybody:
Marella: Maybe your just portraying us really poorly and in canon (Canon refers to the original book series.) were actually really smart.
Me: Will never know.
Dex: Couldn't you just send your work to Shannon Messenger and ask her if you portrayed us well and what you got wrong.
Me: First of all I already know that I portray you poorly most of the time so there's really no point in asking anybody. Secondly Shannon Messenger a) Wouldn't read this because it's garbage b) doesn't have the time to read every piece of KotLC fanfiction ever written and c) isn't aloud to read fanfiction due to legal reason's that I will not bore my readers with.
The end of this chapter.