Hello and happy 2021 everyone! It's been a difficult 2020 for all of us last year, hasn't it? I'm really, REALLY sorry for not following through with my promised update last 2019 ya'll. I really did mean to finish the chapter after the short vacation I took with the fam around late October that year, but what I did not predict upon my return was a series of events I was completely unprepared for. In the midst of everything that was happening I couldn't find the appropriate time to sit my ass down and finish the rest of the chapter.
And then COVID happened and I was unfortunate enough to get quarantined away from home where my laptop was, where the draft of this chapter sat unfinished. I was actually still away from home and my laptop when I wrote this, but I had so much time on my hands I knew I had to finish the rest of the chapter. It was a major pain in the neck 'cause I had to rewrite everything all over again, but hey, here we are and it's all good. I'm home now too, and I also meant to deliver this to ya'll sooner, but it turns out quarantine-induced anxiety makes it really hard to be creatively productive for some people, me especially, even if you have all the time in the world.
Now here, take this mammoth of a chapter that's chock-full of feels ⋌༼ •̀ ヮ •́ ༽⋋
A special THANK YOU to everyone who faved and followed, especially to these beautiful folks who took their time to send me their feedbacks: TheSunAndMoon4321, UglyThunder, Forever Stargazing, Emocean, Viacinyde, Mon, and Guests! ❤❤❤
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〖 Chapter Eleven 〗
The Cost of a Loaned Dream
The ride back to the campus was silent. It was as if time froze inside the bus, even as the world outside continued to whirr passed the sun-kissed windows. Full-blown conversations didn't last for more than a minute, but there was a reassuring sense of solidarity every time their eyes met those of their classmates, each eye-contact conveying a tacit connection between fellow survivors.
Alumi dozed off once all of the anxious and wired energy from earlier finally settled into a surreal kind of reflective tranquility. Now that the threat was finally taken care of, all the paranoia and tension lording over her mind and body finally subsided, her limbs becoming undone like a decompressing rubber band that's been stretched passed its limits. She was barely awake but every jolt of conscious thought always went to Izuku, who was currently in their school's clinic with All Might. The two of them had to be transported there first, as they sustained significant injuries, but they were miraculously not grave enough for the hospital. She could hardly wait to see him after learning how he broke both of his legs again.
"We're here, Alumi-chan." She heard Ochako say just as the bus began to slow to a complete stop and just before she was beginning to fall asleep for real. Her eyes fluttered open and she moved to straighten her back when a sudden trill of pain stretched all throughout her entire left side. Alumi winced and Ochako being right beside her, felt it.
"Alumi-chan?" Ochako asked, eyebrows shooting upwards in concern. "What's wrong? Does it hurt anywhere?"
"Yes, but, I think it's just fatigue." Her smile was tight as she turned to Ochako. "Thanks for waking me up, Urara-chan. I was beginning to fall asleep there."
"Me too, actually," Ochako answered, her smile weighed with weariness. "I just wanna go home now."
Home…Alumi dreaded the thought as she gave Ochako's hand a sympathetic pat. Her stomach grew ill with worry at the thought of her mother. How would she even begin to tell her what happened in the first place? Reika would be furious and unforgiving, this she knew for certain. She lifted her left arm again, eyes narrowing at the tell-tale signs of a bruise, and flexed it a little, the motion sending a jolt of electrifying pain pulsing up and down the length of it. For a moment she didn't move, fearing the possibility of a fractured arm.
'I didn't think that fall would injure me like this.'
"You may now collect your belongings," announced the anthropomorphic feline police officer, Tamakawa Sansa, who had accompanied them on the bus. "Please return here after you've done so as we will be escorting you home."
One by one they disembarked, each of them appearing to carry the quiet, decisive energy from before as they made their way back to their room led by Sansa and two other police officers. The campus was silent, and it didn't bother them at first until it became unsettlingly clear of how devoid it was of the bustle usually taking place at this time.
"It's like a ghost town around here," Kaminari commented as their overlapping footsteps echoed throughout the hall.
"Where is everyone?" Hagakure asked.
"Classes had to end early due to the incident," Sansa explained. "It's also been announced there will be no classes tomorrow, to give you ample time to recuperate."
There was a splash of surprise and resigned acceptance in their expressions at the news. They were nearing the classroom when Alumi noticed Ochako throwing curious glances at her. She waited, and soon enough, Ochako found the courage to voice out her concern.
"Um, can I ask you something, Alumi-chan?"
"Of course. What is it?"
Ochako hesitated. Then, "I was wondering, but…who's Haru?"
Alumi nearly stumbled, her heart leaping painfully in her chest, and despite her best efforts to keep her expression under control, she knew her eyes were already giving her away.
"Um, you were saying that name when you passed out earlier," Ochako hastily added once she registered the silent question in the other girl's gaze. "So I thought, 'They must be someone important to Alumi-chan', and I got curious."
Ochako decided not to mention how Alumi shed a tear in her blacked out state when she said that name, or how sad she sounded when she said it.
It took Alumi a while to answer, her eyes unfocused and strangely withdrawn, as if she was staring at something far away through Ochako.
"Ah, did I? I didn't think I would talk while unconscious, um…w-well…Haru is…" Alumi's smile turned small, and she averted her eyes away from hers. "He's my younger brother."
Ochako beamed. "Oooh! It must be nice having a sibling. I wish I had one."
That made Alumi look at her again. "So you're an only child, Urara-chan?"
Ochako nodded cheerfully. "But I don't quite like it. Is he your only sibling, Alumi-chan?"
"Yes." Alumi smiled softly, the sight serene and poignant. And Ochako felt it prudent not to pry any further.
Upon reaching their room they each retrieved their belongings and made a beeline for the locker rooms. Alumi was about to follow the others when Sansa called for her attention, nearly backing up with a start under his sharp, unblinking feline stare. Her eyes darted to where he was staring; the faint but visible bruise forming on her left arm and she swallowed to keep from wincing under his scrutiny.
"Your arm seems to be injured, miss."
"I got it when I fell earlier," Alumi admitted with a sheepish slant of her brows. "I thought nothing of it because it didn't bother me at first but now…well, I'm embarrassed to say it's being very persistent."
Sansa smiled. "It's nothing to be embarrassed about. It may not look bad right now but it will later, so it's best to treat it as soon as possible. Let's see…All Might and your classmate are already in the clinic…but it should be fine for you to get treatment in the adjacent room."
Alumi blinked curiously at the mention of Izuku and All Might. She could understand why the clinic was off-limits simply because they were there, but she was disappointed at not being able to see the curly-haired boy.
"Let's get you patched up in Recovery Girl's office, shall we?" Sansa suggested, abruptly breaking her line of thought as he turned his body sideways and motioned for Alumi to follow him.
Feeling unease but compliant, Alumi was barely able to nod her head in response to Mina and Ochako's curious chirps at the sight of her hurrying after Sansa with her bag and briefcase clutched in her hands.
"I wonder where Alumin's off to with the kitty officer," Mina wondered aloud. "What were they even talking about?"
"Something about her arm injury, I think," Ochako answered gently as she did managed to hear some of the words exchanged while remembering how Alumi flinched when she flexed her arm on the bus.
Mina gasped, swiveling in place to gape at her. "So she was hurt!? Then…they're probably heading to Recovery Girl's office, huh?"
She planted both hands on her hips, nodding off to Alumi and Sansa's distant forms just as the brunette beside her nodded, her brown eyes lingering on the former's before turning her body to the side.
Ochako smiled, slow and small, as they began to make their way to the locker room.
"Un. She'll be okay."
"Oh? Bakugou!" Kirishima exclaimed, eyes wide as he leveled his stare at the ash-blond standing three feet away beside him. "I totally noticed this just now but you have a tiny cut on your face there."
Katsuki scrunched his eyes shut, an eye twitching in annoyance as his body locked with the tell-tale signs of an imminent explosion. Some of the other boys briefly cast a glance their way, giving Kirishima dubious looks for even engaging the ash-blond before quickly averting their eyes and bracing their ears for the incoming surge in volume.
But there was no expected outburst. Only the low, sharp rumble of a torpid bomb.
"Don't think I already know that, Hair-for-brains?" Katsuki retorted, not even bothering to look at the crimson-haired male as he pulled the arm warmers off his forearms before pulling his black top over his head.
In all honesty, Katsuki only just very recently noticed it too, after catching a glimpse of his reflection on one of the school's windows. It was a very small, thin red gash, situated on the right side of his chin. He reckoned he must've gotten it from All Might's scuffle with Nomu, when the winds caused by the intensity of their clash whipped and nipped against his skin and ultimately succeeded in blowing him away. It was beginning to sting a little but he didn't really care. It was no cause for concern, not unlike what he just witnessed earlier—
—of Deku shooting up from the ground practically flying to All Might's aid. His reflexes, his speed – his fucking inhuman speed – nearly impossible for the naked eye – for his eyes – to follow.
"Doesn't look like it hurts but you should probably get it disinfected, man."
Katsuki's hands twitched at the sound of Kirishima's voice piercing through his cluttered thoughts and he bared his teeth, scoffing and snapping, "No shit. Now shut up!"
Kirishima shrugged with an apologetic grin and silence settled among them once more as they changed out of their costumes. Katsuki was the first to finish and he immediately went out, fists deep in his pants' pockets as he headed to the comfort rooms, his expression clouded with frustration.
"Fucking Deku…!" he seethed as images of Izuku's latest feats kept on playing in his head.
He still couldn't believe it, how the freckled shitty nerd suddenly gained power that possibly equaled All Might's. Vaguely he could recall some of the words Tsuyu said back in the bus prior to their arrival in the USJ. He didn't want to, but he sees it – the uncanny similarity. He felt as if he was supposed to make some grand revelation, but something wasn't adding up and thinking about it was making his head hurt.
Katsuki cursed once more and shot his eyes to the floor.
"Excuse me. You there, boy with the terrifying scowl."
With his shoulders tensing in reflex and an irritated vein popping out of his cheek, Katsuki stopped and turned to face the owner of the voice, an older woman with long, waist-length wavy ochre-colored hair and dark purple-blue eyes. One look at her and Katsuki was able to gather that one; she was not a teacher nor staff, two; she was in a hurry in spite of her calm demeanor, three; she was lost, and four; she looked somewhat familiar, the familiarity striking a nerve, making him narrow his eyes.
'Who the hell is this hag?' Katsuki thought, not really interested in whatever she had to say but also can't find it in himself to leave outright. Not with her piercing, eerily familiar eyes pinning him in place.
She took three steps forward and gave him a short bow, as if thanking him for even taking the time to listen. "I'm looking for my daughter. She's a second year in the Hero course. I've been told this is the right building but I haven't seen anyone since I arrived."
"The seniors went home ages ago and we just got here," Katsuki answered, the gruffness in his voice toned down a notch in the face of her patient and slightly entreating gaze.
The woman's eyes widened. A small and sheepish smile began to form upon her lips. "I just remembered. I forgot she's supposed to be a first year now…If that's the case, you must be her classmate…You're a first year, aren't you?"
It was a figurative question so Katsuki didn't bother answering and she looked at him with a knowing glint in her solemn eyes before adding, "And you just returned from that place."
Her words momentarily caught him off guard and Katsuki narrowed an eye when her smile suddenly widened. She was smiling softly at him, but there was no pity in her expression, and contrary to what he was inwardly bracing himself for, there were no patronizing words of comfort coming out from her mouth.
The cut on his chin suddenly throbbed, reminding him of why he was even out there in the first place. Katsuki sighed through his nose and shifted his feet to indicate he had no intention of sticking around any longer.
"The others are over there," he said and took a hand out of his pocket, swinging it toward the locker rooms before turning to where he was originally headed.
"I see…Then I'll be on my way as well," she replied, her gaze lingering on his form as she turned to face her new destination. "Thank you," she said over her shoulder, giving him a short nod and a placid smile.
Katsuki hesitated for a second before nodding curtly in return and finally leaving the strange woman alone. He was almost astounded at how worried she was for her daughter to rush all the way to school like that.
'Who the hell is it even,' he wondered before deciding he didn't really give a shit and that whoever it was, was a big fucking baby. They were heroes-in-training and their parents ought to know that, along with the fact that this was going to be the norm for them someday.
He was suddenly reminded of his own mother and he heaved an irritated sigh with a weary shake of his head, muttering under his breath, "She's gonna nag my ear off once she finds out."
Because aside from his mocking judgment of the spoiled classmate and her mom, Katsuki could understand where the sentiment was coming from; that what happened back there was a complete and utter shitfest and shouldn't have happened at all.
Sansa left Alumi in the clinic's adjacent room to ascertain nobody else was injured, leaving her alone with Recovery Girl. After receiving a sticky kiss to her cheek and a whole packet of soft candy for her "misfortunate encounters" at the USJ, she was free to go. She yawned twice and nearly stumbled on her own feet as she trudged back to their room, chuckling and huffing wryly at how she had to lose half of her already waning stamina in exchange for having her arm healed.
She stretched her arm out and flexed it, smiling and unable to murmur to herself, "Well…at least I have one less thing to worry about." She sighed and looked down, eyebrows shooting upwards at her belated discovery. 'Right…I still haven't changed out of my hero costume…'
Spotting the comfort rooms up ahead with their room just around the corner, Alumi hastened her pace. Her hands flew to her bag's zipper, fully intending to change the second she step foot inside, confident she'd be the only one occupying the entire area this time, when Bakugou rounded the corner, his downcast gaze immediately snapping up and involuntarily connecting with hers.
A visible shock of recognition coursed through them both, but neither stopped in their tracks. Although Alumi's brisk pace abruptly lost some of its haste, Bakugou merely reinforced his posture and kept his hands tightly balled in his pockets, his agitated expression from seconds before shifting into a deep, almost accusatory scowl.
Alumi was tempted to respond with a glare of her own – seriously, he needed to stop looking at her as if she just killed someone – until she remembered how he practically protected Izuku from Kurogiri's attack earlier, even though it was not his intention at all. Her features softened, going from tense to disarmed. She was about to extend her gratitude by smiling at him but he broke eye-contact first, averting his face with an irritated exhale through his nose.
The girls' and boys' comfort rooms were adjacent to each other and Bakugou reached the entrance first, aggressively opening the door leading to the males' and shutting it loudly behind him. Alumi let out an amused huff just as she reached her destination seconds after Bakugou reached his. She pulled the door open, threw a quick glance his way and whispered softly before going inside, "It's nice to see you in one piece as well, Bakugou-kun."
She immediately changed out of her hero costume, grateful to be finally released from the tight material that's absorbed most of her sweat. She went to the nearest sink and washed her face afterwards, gingerly patting it dry with a towel she procured from her bag.
With a sigh, Alumi reached around her head to release her low-ponytail from its hair-tie and ran her hand through her unbound hair, thinking about the many, many possible dreadful things to come after everything that's happened. But most of all, she was worried about Izuku. She wanted to wait for him, wanted to see him, but knew she had to go home right away.
Alumi inhaled deeply before releasing it in one measured breath as she straightened her back, securing her school bag on her shoulder and holding the briefcase containing her hero costume in one hand as she whispered to herself, "One at a time. Just have to take them one at a time…"
She exited the comfort rooms, sending a glance towards the males' as she passed by, wondering if her prickly classmate was still inside just as she heard the sound of multiple and fast approaching footsteps coming from where she was heading to.
Alumi caught Sansa's eyes the moment he came out of the corner, his wide cat eyes blinking once in surprise before abruptly craning his neck mid-stride to address the person behind him.
"Ah, here she is. Didn't take long to get her all patched up at all, madam."
Sansa stopped in his tracks a good meter away from where Alumi stood, her stomach dropping and growing cold, eyes fixed on the corner and already dreading the mysterious "madam's" impending presence.
Long, wavy ochre-colored hair trailed after Reika's swift yet elegant form, the silky glistening locks around her face swishing sideways before settling to frame her cheeks as she stopped to lock eyes with her daughter. Her face was carefully blank but her eyes held something much severe, freezing Alumi's insides completely.
"Thank you very much, Tamakawa-san," her mother said as she gave Sansa one of her best relieved-looking smiles followed by a small bow. "I would've had such a hard time searching for my daughter in this humongous building if it wasn't for you and that young man earlier, as she seemed to have completely forgotten to check her phone."
Alumi froze, her fingers clenching around the strap of her bag as she internally lamented how she had, indeed, completely forgot about her phone. She forgot it even existed as it was currently on silent mode as per class rules and just the thought of how many calls and messages from her mother went unanswered chilled her to the very bone.
Completely oblivious to Alumi's dismay, Sansa returned the bow and replied, smiling, "Just doing my job, madam." He gave Alumi a bow as well, instantly getting one in response before straightening back up and preparing to leave. "It is my pleasure to serve. Please be careful on your way home."
Reika faced him fully and waved good-bye while Alumi stared after him curiously, her eyes darting toward her mother once, then back to his rapidly retreating figure. 'Mother must've requested that we leave without an escort.'
"Where and how were you injured?" Reika asked the second they were alone, her face devoid of the pleasant expression she was wearing just seconds ago.
Alumi suppressed the urge to flinch and absentmindedly placed a hand on her left arm as she answered, "My arm. I got it when I fell."
Reika raised an eyebrow, indicating she was far from satisfied with the answer and so Alumi quickly explained, talking as calmly as she could to avoid tripping over her words. "One of the villains had a teleportation quirk and sent most of us dropping from the sky…But it wasn't that high at all, I just…wasn't able to get my bearings before I landed…But it's okay now…! And it didn't really hurt me that much…"
"Enough," came Reika's terse response, the finality of her tone holding the impact of a snap. "We're leaving."
Alumi lowered her gaze with a quiet, "Yes, Mother."
Katsuki went out of the boys' comfort room the moment he could no longer hear their footsteps.
"I fucking knew it," he grumbled underneath his breath as he made his way back slowly to the locker rooms, eyes hard and glaring at nothing in particular. He got holed-up in the comfort rooms longer than he liked thanks to the nosy meddling eyebrows' family drama, but he knew he couldn't just show up and be upfront about his exit. And it wasn't like he wanted to hear their conversation, it was their fault for being there.
'So she was supposed to be a second year?' He released a bemused huff at the thought. 'Huh. She's a fucking hag!'
"Um, excuse me…Where's Alumi-chan? Um, the one who had to go Recovery Girl's office earlier?" the brunette asked timidly after approaching Sansa the moment she noticed her friend's prolonged absence.
"Ah. Her mother went to get her," Sansa replied. "As such, escorting her home will no longer be necessary."
Dumbfounded but relieved, all Ochako could manage to say in return was a shy, "Oh, okay…" before quickly remembering her manners and adding, "T-Thank you very much!"
"You're welcome," Sansa said as they exchanged bows and went on to check if the preparations to send them home safely were complete.
"Ehhh~ Alumin already went home!?"
Whipping around at the all too familiar voice, Ochako was greeted with the curious faces of Mina, Tsuyu, Hagakure, Jirou and Yaoyorozu, with a few of their male classmates following not too far behind them.
"Her mother went to get her," Ochako answered.
"I'm amazed they already notified our parents," Yaoyorozu expressed incredulously while Mina stepped forward and grinned cheerfully beside her.
"Awww how nice! I wish my mom could come and get me."
Ochako chuckled nervously at the pinkette before looking out the window and smiling softly to herself.
'I hope you're okay now, Alumi-chan.'
Much to Alumi's disappointment, they passed through a different route to get outside – probably where Reika had entered – completely opposite to where the rest of her classmates were, making her unable to properly bid them farewell, especially to Ochako.
Reika led the way back to her car, her posture rigid, her pace brisk as she held her phone up to one ear. Alumi followed closely behind her, making sure she wasn't infringing on the one meter space surrounding her mother's back.
"Yes, she's right behind me. You'll have to speak to her later when we get home."
'Dad…? Does he already know what happened too?'
Alumi was at a loss how to even begin to explain what happened to her parents. Still, she was certain they were only worried sick, knowing this already happened twice to her.
"You didn't have to come and get me…" she muttered hesitantly after Reika ended the call.
"And let you get branded as some sort of victim by letting the police escort you home? No, you've caused enough problems for me as it is."
Alumi pressed her lips together and kept her eyes down in contrite. She had a handful of questions she wanted to ask but opening her mouth to say something right now felt somewhat inappropriate in the face of her mother's aura of repressed fury. This was what Alumi dreaded the most — her mother's harsh, mercurial temper. When Reika was angry, it was either deadly calm or highly punitive, and Alumi had the feeling it was going to be the latter.
It wasn't until they finally got inside the car did Alumi choose to break the silence, afraid and certain that if it were to persist it would become unbearably suffocating in the small space. She settled in the passenger's seat with her schoolbag on her lap and spoke just as her mother turned the engine on and fastened her seatbelt.
"How…do you already know what happened, Mother?"
"Your father is a friend of the principal." Reika's reply was sharp and immediate. "He called and notified your father the moment they got wind of the situation."
Alumi's eyebrows lifted curiously as she buckled in her own seatbelt. 'He must be the Nedzu-san Dad spoke of the other night.'
"In spite of their incompetence they at least had the decency to notify us immediately," Reika continued, eyes hard as she drove them out of the campus.
Alumi dug her nails into the material of her school bag and kept her eyes forward. "That…it couldn't be helped…the villai—"
"Couldn't be helped?" Reika reiterated acidly. "U.A is supposedly the number one hero academy in Japan, an institution of heroes, is it not? And yet they carelessly allowed a bunch of trespassing criminals to attack their students. This is negligence of the highest order!"
Alumi shrank against the reproof and struggled to keep her face carefully neutral. She tightened her jaw and inhaled as if she was drawing in the courage to speak, perturbed but determined to stand up for what, and for those, she believed in.
"I don't think…that U.A is to blame here, Mother. It's unfortunate, but…nobody…no one could have guessed what happened today…No one but the villains themselves. They are the ones at fault."
"That doesn't excuse U'A's complacency," Reika shot back, her grip tightening around the steering wheel. "They ought to be ashamed as Japan's top hero academy."
"But we fought back and we survived," Alumi rebutted softly yet firmly and tentatively glanced unto her mother's scowling face. "I know it wasn't exactly the first villain subjugation operation we expected…but it was bound to happen. Something like this…putting our lives at risk is just part of being a hero."
Reika shot her a glance of pure outrage, her eyes shifting impatiently between looking at Alumi and the road ahead. "You just don't get it, do you?!"
Vexed, Alumi began to frown. "…But it's the truth...What do you ev—"
"The truth you say?" Reika spat through clenched teeth. "No. Here's the truth!"
At the denoting tone of her voice, the car sped up and swerved. The next thing Alumi knew they were pulling over to the side of the road, the sharp wind-grinding noises of the vehicles preceding them creating a deafening contrast with the car's abrupt screech of wheels against gravel.
Startled and thoroughly disconcerted, Alumi risked a glance towards the driver's seat. Their eyes met and Alumi was struck when she saw the heartbroken wrath on her mother's face. For a moment they remained suspended in stunned silence, both wide-eyed and agitated.
"You," Reika bit out, nearly out of breath as she struggled to rein in her composure, "are not yet a hero, Alumi! You are still a student, a child, for God's sake!"
Alumi blinked as if she'd been slapped in the face.
"So do not condescend…In your self-serving gratification that you managed to survive. I may have allowed you to go to that school but I did not allow you to continue your pursuit of being a hero to have your life threatened while you were unprepared. It's only been three days, three days, since you started but apparently the absurdity of it all is going over your head! I've never approved of this from the very beginning but you went behind my back and did it anyway, with no guilt, no reserve, and no consideration for your own mother." Reika brought her eyes forward and prepared to hit the road again, continuing bitterly, "I haven't held you accountable for that, but don't think there won't be any consequences for what happened this time."
Alumi clenched her fingers into fists as she felt her own temper spike and clawing to be let out. She felt like a cornered animal, overwhelmed with the sickening urges of either fleeing or retaliating. She just wanted this to end. She wanted to escape the confines of her mother's car, wanted to vanish into thin air than to endure the heavy merciless pressure swirling around them.
The ride home felt unbearably long with the silence, but like all horrible things, it eventually came to an end. By the time they entered the house, the air between them had shifted from scathingly volatile to precariously cold.
Alumi replaced her school shoes with her indoor slippers, eyes anxiously trailing after her mother's retreating back. All at once she was swamped by the familiar exhaustion of fighting the same old battle for years with the same old adversary. She didn't want it to end like this, like how it always had. What she strove so hard for was finally at hand, and despite the unfavorable weight of it all, she was finally moving forward.
And she was determined to stand her ground.
"I still want to be a hero."
Reika stopped dead in her tracks but did not turn to look at her, as if she couldn't believe what she was hearing.
Spurred by her mother's silence Alumi continued, drymouthed but resolute, "I'm sorry for what happened today…and I'm sorry for…for going behind your back. I know you're against me being a hero, but…if I hadn't done it, I would never be able to live in peace. Knowing what's out there, and knowing I can do something about it..."
Alumi swallowed and squared her shoulders, her heart set. "I'm going to be a hero, Mother. This is the path I chose, it's the only path for me…And if being a hero means having one foot in the grave, then so be it. This is my and Haru's dream…I know I'm lacking, I know I still have a long way to go, but I'm not alone. I'm with people who have the same goal as me. I have friends and Matsu-sensei to rely on. You and Dad are here too, even if you don't approve…I am grateful to all of you."
She paused and fidgeted, her voice gaining a timid lilt. "Which reminds me, Mother…um…thank you for lending me some of your power this morning. I recently realized it was probably why I managed to get so far effectively doing what I had to do back there." Alumi smiled a little and bobbed her head down in a little bow. "You didn't have to, but, I'm truly grateful…Thank you."
Reika finally turned to look at her. She appeared dumbstruck, the remnants of her anger mingling unsteadily between wonder and disbelief.
"It's not the only path for you and you know that," she accused.
Alumi's smile diminished as she spoke, "I know...but it's the one I want and nothing can stop me now that I've reached this far."
"Why…" Reika uttered exasperatedly, voice on the verge of desperation. "Why are you so set on being a hero? You're only doing this for Haru aren't you!? Because he wanted to be one!"
Hearing her brother's name coming out from their mother's mouth with such volume made Alumi wince. "T-that's—"
"What Haru wanted is not for you to bear! You have your own life to live, he's already dead!"
"You don't understand!" Alumi burst out. She shook with the force of her emotions, the bottom of her eyes growing hot and prickling with moisture. "How…could you? Haru may not…be here anymore…but he'll always be with me! Always! And he won't ever leave!" She clenched her teeth and straightened, fists shaking as two consecutive tears slid down on either cheek and she hated them for falling. "You're the one who doesn't understand. I want to be a hero because I want to help people with this—this Quirk, that wasn't there to save him! Because I was powerless…I want to make use of this power now. I…I don't want what happened to Haru, to us, to happen to anyone!"
The weight of her agony brought more of her tears to the ground, and Alumi dropped her head, ashamed and hurting and helpless.
"I want…to be a hero…because I can't be anyone else."
The silence that fell was brief, but excruciating. Alumi was too terrified and too mortified to move. She braced herself. 'I can't believe I just lost my temper. Why did I just do that!? Did I really just said all of that!?'
"…Is that so…"
Alumi looked up and marveled – despaired – at how her mother instantaneously regained her poise and expression as if nothing happened at all, at how her heart could remain closed-off in the face of her daughter's torn heart.
"All right," Reika said as she turned to leave. "You've made yourself clear. I'll never approve of you becoming a hero, you won't have my support, but I won't stop you. I'll have nothing to do with it." She took three steps forward and paused. "And you're grounded for three days."
Alum's lips quivered and she bit them to keep herself from screaming. She immediately went upstairs after Reika disappeared into the kitchen. Every step she took hurt, every heavy footfall sending a rush of pain on her tired, aching body. Upon reaching her room and closing the door, she dropped her bag on her desk and brought both hands to her temples. She kept them there for a while, cradling her head as she struggled to calm her thrashing heart which have seemed to have lodged itself in her throat, making her inhale quick and shallow breaths. She stayed that way until her arms began to ache in protest and she dropped them to her sides, sighing.
Alumi felt crushed, but she couldn't afford to stay that way. She was on auto-pilot mode – taking a bath, blow-drying her hair, doing her skin-care routine, changing into a nightgown – the entirety of her consciousness hovering over the pain and heaviness that lingered in the recesses of her mind and body. She laid on her bed afterwards and stared at the ceiling, aware of her phone vibrating incessantly inside her bag but too drained to pick it up. She was in no condition to talk to anyone, in no mood for anything but the silence and the empty warmth of her bed.
With a dreary glance toward her bedside alarm clock, Alumi was able to make out the digits 5:03 PM before her vision blurred with exhaustion and unbidden tears.
"Why are you so set on being a hero? You're only doing this for Haru aren't you!? Because he wanted to be one!"
"That's not true…" Alumi whispered hotly, hands clawing at the sheets and mouth trembling in exasperation as the haunting echoes of her mother's voice continued to plague her mind. "I'm doing this because I want to. I have to. Not just for Haru."
She turned on her side and grabbed the nearest pillow she could find, holding it close and burying her face in it.
'I'm going to be fine. I'm going to be all right. I've reached this far. It'll be okay.'
She repeated the mantra over and over again until she finally fell asleep and they permeated into her dreams. She slept deeply, and the words continued to echo in her slumber-laden mind, even as she went back in time in her dreams where she was nine years old again.
She was ambling through a thickly canopied forest trail, a well-worn path she passed through countless times before. Alumi looked up and was momentarily blinded against a sudden burst of light that pierced through the branches above. It was bright, but it wasn't hot, and the sunray passed over her face as she continued to move forward. She looked at her feet, small and clad in her favorite brown ankle boots, her legs moving effortlessly without her active control. She stepped on a dry leaf, but there was no satisfying crunch. There was only silence. Eerie, deafening silence. Even her own dimmed voice had disappeared.
Alumi continued on the seemingly endless path. The day was turning softer, the forest turning fuzzier. The rhythmic swaying of the leaves turning slower, and slower.
And then all at once, as if she passed through an invisible barrier, she felt the sensations begin to spread around her. It was warm, but the gentle breeze caressing her arms and knees felt cool. Gradually she grew conscious of holding something soft and familiar. It was someone's hand, and Alumi was not at all surprised to see whose it was.
Haruki trotted animatedly beside her, his curly ochre-colored hair glinting and occasionally speckled by the sunbeams that shot through the leaves overhead. He grinned at her and appeared to be saying something as he eagerly pointed at where they were heading. Alumi couldn't hear it, but she felt herself responding cheerfully, felt her cheeks stretching widely with her smile.
He pulled her with him and they ran side by side. At one point she overtook him, laughing in her excitement as she pulled him forward, where the end of the path shone with welcoming brilliance. The wind rushed passed her, through her, as the leaves fell down the trees in slow swirling motions, landing at her feet to create a dry-patched carpet.
Each crunching sound they made grew louder than the last and seemed to have multiplied until most of the noise fell away, and it rapidly became clear that only her own footfalls remained.
Alumi stopped and looked at her hand. Empty. Haruki's hand was gone.
She whirled around and saw him about a few meters away. Haruki was smiling gently, his expression open and knowing. She reached out to him, but he only shook his head.
"Alumi…nee."
She was struck at how close he sounded, at how…wrong. There was something wrong with Haruki. She wanted to go to him but found herself frozen, locked in the ever-familiar horror of not being able to do anything.
"Alumi-nee…I…I can't—"
She was enfolded in a gentle nostalgic warmth, with Haruki smiling sweetly at her. But this dream was no less painful, and no less punishing than her nightmares. For even if he looked serene, his voice was choked, ragged.
And Alumi recognized his next words, felt their long-ago imprints on the very bowels of her soul.
They were his last.
"I can't be a hero anymore."
When Alumi woke up the next day, she didn't remember most of what she dreamed of, but she was acutely aware of a gnawing sense of emptiness. Yet in spite of that, her body felt lighter and her father was already home. Hiromu hugged her the moment he saw her, nearly stumbling in his haste. He was teary eyed, his hands trembling as he stroked her hair and told her she did well surviving yesterday's incident. She basked in her father's reassuring embrace before gradually pulling away and giving him her best 'I'm perfectly fine' smile.
Unconvinced but understanding, Hiromu gave her one last caress on the side of her head and led her to the kitchen where the table was already set for breakfast. Reika was already seated and silently motioned for them to join her. Alumi sat and committed to filling her plate after saying grace. They ate in peaceful silence, the familiarity of it enough to make her head spin. It felt surreal, eating with her parents on this fine sunny morning as if everything that happened yesterday did not happen at all.
It was obvious they already talked about it before she was even awake, but them not saying anything now was beginning to irritate her. Alumi wasn't that delicate, even when all she wanted to do at the moment was go back to her room and spend the whole day in bed. They didn't even turn the television on when they usually do every morning, further pointing toward the likely scenario that – just like the major underlying issues that revolved around their family – they weren't going to openly talk about it anytime soon. Her parents exchanged small talk as if to reprieve the elephant in the room and while she usually liked to listen to their discussions, today it was incredibly overbearing.
"It's all over the news by now."
Her parents froze and Alumi didn't even look at them as she raised her mug and drank. She heard her father clearing his throat, followed by the light clang of her mother's fork tapping against the ceramic surface of her plate.
"Must we talk about this over a meal?" Reika clipped.
Alumi set her mug down and moved on to her plate, replying casually, "I don't see why not. We haven't been eating in the same table in quite some time now since you two always seem so keen to leave the house."
Hiromu stiffened while Reika narrowed her eyes, the beginnings of her temper already crackling like static in the room.
"I will not have that conversation with you, Alumi."
"That's fine. That's not what I want to talk about, anyway."
"Didn't I make myself clear yesterday?"
"Yes, but I don't think I did. So I would really appreciate if you stopped pretending like I'm still a child holding glass for the first time."
Reika made a noise that sounded like she was simultaneously impressed and offended.
"And how is this behavior not different from a child?"
Alumi's eyes darkened, and the words flew out of her before she could even think to stop them. "I am in no need of a therapist and don't wake up screaming in the middle of the night anymore, don't I?"
Reika's eyes went wide, her posture turning rigid. Beside her, Hiromu closed his eyes and sighed.
"Alumi."
His voice was soft but contained the unmistakable undertone of a warning, seizing Alumi immediately.
"We don't think of you like that at all. Apologize to your Mother, please."
Alumi lowered her head, guilt already flooding her senses once her spite finally subsided in the face of her father's gentle reproof.
"I'm sorry…" she managed to say as she carefully detached herself from the table. "Please allow me some time alone."
At her father's nod, Alumi stood and bowed, not really even looking at her mother, and left.
Hiromu heaved a quick, lighthearted sigh, hoping to at least disperse some of the tension that remained. "I hadn't seen her get like that in a while."
"Neither have I," Reika disclosed quietly, her eyes downcast and brimming with guilt. She sat unmoving, thinking about the things she said yesterday and regretting them immensely. "I never should've mentioned Haru," she whispered to herself, and as she did, tears began to roll down her cheeks.
Reika flinched and buried her face in her hands, her shoulders trembling slightly as she drew in an anguished breath, mind heavy and agonizing over the children she lost and the one she was losing.
Alarmed but not really surprised, Hiromu brought a soothing hand on one of her thighs and waited, but when it quickly became clear that she wasn't going to stop crying anytime soon, he carefully maneuvered her into his arms and lifted her from the table, earning a small whimper of protest.
"Outside," Hiromu said as he looked down at her with a smile. "Let's get some air."
Hiromu sat them down in one of the rattan loveseats in their backyard balcony but kept Reika secured in his lap, holding her protectively as she faced the barrage of emotions she's desperately kept from emerging on the surface for far too long. Contrary to what the masses, her colleagues, their own daughter, and even she herself believes, Reika was not at all impervious to her own emotions.
Having been brought up in a cold household, she learned which emotions to show and how to control them, brandishing them like a tool. It wasn't until she met Hiromu when she began to stop viewing them objectively. But she remained guarded. She rarely allowed herself to break down completely like this, and it was a privilege that only her husband was allowed to witness and experience.
She continued to weep quietly, mumbling a few agitated words in French, a childhood habit that diminished but resurfaced every time she was incredibly troubled.
"Why can't we ever reach an understanding?" Reika began in Japanese once she found her voice, clutching into his shirt. "I don't know what to do…Oh Hiro…I don't know how I can make her not hate me."
"Alumi doesn't hate you," Hiromu placated as he tenderly wiped and dried her tear-stained cheeks with his palm, his touch containing a pressure that sought to soothe and erase her pain with every stroke. "She just…probably has a hard time dealing with everything going on, regardless of how she seems to convince herself otherwise."
'She is very much like you in that regard.' He wanted to add, but held back.
"It's also clearly the result of what I did yesterday." Reika sniffed and buried her face into his chest, her shaking voice whisper soft, "I wanted to see her so badly…but when she saw me…" She heaved a sharp breath and shook her head. "Maybe I shouldn't have come to get her. I lost my temper and things got out of control between us. It was awful, Hiro."
"I figured," Hiromu concurred in a mock-grim voice before pressing his lips against the side of her head. "But I'm glad you went to her anyway." He smiled and gathered her more securely into his arms. "I'm sure, deep down…that Alumi is, too."
Although she was already in the quiet confines of her room, Alumi felt as if she was still in the kitchen. She felt suffocated, her face stinging with shame and remnants of unabated anger. She was annoyed with her parents, but even more at herself for acting the way she did. Her mother was right. She behaved completely like a child back there.
Now that she had sufficiently calmed down to think objectively, letting her temper take control of her actions wasn't like her at all. She abhorred feeling like this, as if she's slipping on ice while her chest burned with ire, helpless against the lack of control. Even worse, it seemed like she still hadn't completely calmed down from yesterday's events, her senses on edge and ready to retaliate.
Unconsciously, her eyes drifted towards the dresser's mirror and nearly did a double take at how surly she looked. She was reminded of Bakugou at once, making her smirk exasperatedly at the resemblance, followed by Chihari's comment from when they were younger.
"Keep making that face and you'll get wrinkles like the old man."
Alumi gasped. "Chi-chan!"
She fumbled for her phone and practically ripped it from inside her school bag, looking over the many missed calls and unread messages – half of them from her parents – and winced when she saw Chihari and Kyouhei's names in the log.
Alumi didn't bother reading their messages and called Chihar's number immediately, who surprisingly picked up on the second ring. Tensing, Alumi reflexively distanced the phone from her ear.
"Fucking FINALLY! MI-CHAAAAAAN!"
"Chi-chan I'm—"
"I was so WORRIED! What the hell!? Are you available right now? Can we meet up!?"
Alumi sighed through her nose before replying, regret lacing into her words, "I am, but I can't go outside."
"Why not!? Did something happen to you? Are you injured!? Where!? HOW!?"
"Nothing like that, I'm perfectly fine," Alumi quickly assured before adding with a touch of annoyance, "It's just that I'm grounded. For three days."
"What!? Your mom did!?"
"Yes."
"That's crazy," Chihari exclaimed in disbelief. "She can't ground you when she's not even there to make sure you stay grounded."
"Actually…It doesn't look like she's going anywhere anytime soon," Alumi replied ruefully.
"Oh…Well shit. Can we come over instead?"
"You can, but…I don't think you'll get pass the gates."
Chihari clicked her tongue. "I guess there's no helping it. I wouldn't wanna piss off your Mom. And not gonna lie but I actually can't leave right now because I still have class, but I was hoping we could hang out with Hei-kun and the twins later. We can even have dinner with Gramps back home and you can just sleep over."
The suggestion suffused Alumi with longing. At this point she was raring to leave the house. Just thinking about being in the same room as her mother made her skin prickle in revulsion. Not at her mother, but more at herself for her misplaced resentment and for her difficulty to control it.
"I want that, too…" she whispered. "I'm sorry, Chi-chan. And I'm sorry for not answering your calls and messages yesterday."
"Never mind that," came Chihari's consoling reply, voice uncharacteristically soft. "I'm just glad to hear you're safe."
Alumi spent the rest of the day making herself scarce and preoccupied by reconditioning her body through callisthenic exercises and doing her share of the house chores. She was also antsy, unable to keep still thinking about how Izuku was doing and how impulsive she was the day before, knowing and dreading that he would probably have questions ready for her when they see each other again.
For some reason she also felt guilty. It wasn't that Alumi regretted what she did, only that she had the strangest, vaguest sense that she betrayed Haruki in some way. But that was impossible. She would never betray her brother and his memory, nor would she even know how to achieve such a thing. And yet the feeling persisted anyway, tucked into a shadowed niche deep inside her heart, where the rest of her darkened thoughts hid, threatening to rear its ugly head if she ever lowered her guard.
And so for the next two days, Alumi deep-cleaned the bathrooms, organized the kitchen, vacuumed the house, dusted what needed to be dusted, and even washed and replaced the curtains and bedsheets, cleaning and scrubbing with a vehemence that sought to remove not only the physical dirt and grime that clung stubbornly, but the ones tainting her on the inside as well. She was suffused with heavy, restless energy. And the only way to lighten the load and calm her straining nerves was to work herself to exhaustion.
Mercifully, her parents left her alone. They didn't even question her sudden desire to clean the house, and mealtimes became shorter. Gradually she and her mother returned to being civil again, once again settling into the familiar and draining routine they always managed to fall into after every argument, where they tolerated each other's presence with stiff courtesy, preferring to express their penance through their actions than actually verbalizing it.
Everything was finally returning back to how they were.
By Monday Alumi felt more like herself again, or more accurately, she felt like a new person altogether. She was going to be efficient today, she decided. So self-possessed that not even her own disoriented thoughts could penetrate through her impeccable composure.
Surprisingly, there was not a single media man on sight by U.A's gates. Alumi assumed they would have horded the place by now in light of the recent USJ attack, so their absence was pretty anticlimactic. She wasn't certain whether that was a good thing or not, but her father was visibly relieved when they drew closer to the main gates and saw it devoid of the press.
"Just as Nedzu-san said," Hiromu commented as he veered to park the vehicle. "He already took care of them."
Alumi gave him a questioning glance. "I haven't seen him before, but he's U.A's principal, isn't he? Mother said he was the one who told you what happened. And that you're friends."
He smiled at her. "Yes. We go way back before I even got married."
Intrigued, Alumi asked, "How did you meet?"
"I was part of the team responsible for U.A's building renewals about twenty years ago."
"I see," Alumi uttered in awe, before deliberately flashing him a cheeky smile as she released her seat-belt. "Could it be your friendship with Nedzu-san has something to do with why you gave me your permission to be a hero when I told you I wanted to study here, Dad?"
"Partly," Hiromu admitted with a chuckle, his gaze softening. "It certainly puts me at ease knowing he's in charge. I especially appreciate how Nedzu-san is willing to tell me things that directly involve you, even without my asking him to do so. Although what happened with the USJ incident was the first time he did it."
Alumi nodded slowly. "I understand. I'm grateful to Nedzu-san for telling you before the entirety of Japan found out about what happened."
'And I hope that's the extent of Nedzu-san's looking out for me.' Came her afterthought. She knew the principal would never directly meddle in her affairs in school, but it alarmed Alumi to think there was someone capable of letting her parents know what she's been up to. She'd rather tell them herself.
"He assured me just yesterday that the school's board and faculty will take the appropriate measures to deal with the media, so you and your classmates are safe from them for now, at least. But just to be sure, I'm going to chauffeur you to and fro from school."
A frown immediately formed between Alumi's eyebrows. "But Dad, what about work? I understand you're worried, but I'll have friends to go with me to the station, so you don't really have to."
"Alu, you don't know this since you haven't watched the television, but you were shown not just once during the headlines, but across several channels," Hiromu said, his voice acquiring a stern edge. "People who tuned into the USJ incident will recognize you on sight. They may not be the media, but they can be just as persistent, and I don't want you going through that sort of trouble. Let's give it two weeks, okay? The issue should lose most of its heat by then."
There was no way out of it. Her father was milder compared to her mother, but he could be just as immovable when it came to her welfare, or when it came to what they think was best for her welfare. She suspected her mother also had her say in the whole arrangement.
Alumi sighed in defeat and conceded with a small smile. "Okay, Dad. I understand." She moved to exit the car and spoke again before closing the door. "Classes end at five, but I'll be sure to text you before going out of the room."
She was moved to reluctant amusement at the sight of Hiromu's pleased and cheeky grin, which looked very much like her own.
"Roger that, Alu. I'll be waiting."
Alumi closed the door and turned to enter the gates.
There were no media men inside U.A, but she might as well be under the glare of multiple live cameras and pesky journalists. Every single student Alumi encountered in the passageway turned to stare at her, some of them brazenly whispering with their peers while the others stopped in whatever they were doing just to gawk at her.
Alumi did not appreciate the attention one bit. She felt sorry for the classmates who arrived before her and worry for those who have yet to come. She didn't watch any of the news or even looked it up online on purpose, knowing it was pointless and frankly because she wasn't completely ready to relive the experience from a stranger's detached point of view, but now she wondered how the media portrayed the incident and disseminated it to the populace.
"Look, she's from 1-A. I saw her on TV last night!" She heard someone say nearby, and Alumi could not help the wry shifting of her smile as she walked through the corridors.
'Smile. Avoid eye-contact. Ignore.'
But the comments grew louder and irritatingly offhand the closer she got to the classroom.
"I don't think they would've lasted in there if it wasn't for All Might."
"Man I wish I was there to see all the action!"
"What kind of villains do you think attacked? They must be strong, right?"
"Yeah 'cause they totally beat Thirteen and Aizawa-sensei!"
"Do you think some of them died?"
One of her hands tightened into a ball. Alumi was tempted to inform them where they could put their unwanted two cents, but she also knew it was pointless. Soon she reached Class 1-A's door. Beyond it were her comrades, Izuku, and her future.
And Alumi's little smile turned genuine with relief the moment she slid it open.
A/N:
Sorry for the lack of canon events, you guys. But it was a much needed interlude before we head into the Sports Festival Arc and we're definitely getting there next chapter~! ٩(ಠヮಠ)و
I'm waaaaay behind the actual timeframe in the Manga now (where eveRYTHING JUST UPPED ON THE CRAZY! ARE YA'LL UPDATED!? THE GROWTH. THE ANGST. THE HORROR! THE BEAUTY!) so I have aloooot of catching up to do. But not to worry, I only got, like, more than TEN FUCKING ARCS TO DO, and no, I'm not crying with how much work that'll take. It'll take a long time, but I hope some of you are still there to support me (´ ▽ `)ﾉ
And saying this pains me but I'm just gonna tell you guys in advance that my commitment to this fic will be at 20% at best, due to my love for Hunter X Hunter getting revived, but mostly because real life is gonna knock me on my butt again real soon. My deepest apologies for the sporadic updates to come! ｡ﾟ･ (╥﹏╥) ･ﾟ｡
(p.s - if you're a fan of Hunter X Hunter and are into OC-centric stories, please give my fanfic The Assassin of Flowers a go! ^^)
Now for a few things I'd like to be clear about:
※ I'd like to think that the USJ incident happened on a Thursday. Following the standard Mon-Fri school days schedule, the Quirk assessment test happened on a Monday, followed by the Battle Trial on Tuesday, the Media intruders incident on Wednesday, and since the USJ incident occurred the next day, it would naturally fall on Thursday. Friday was relegated into a rest-day, so the students had a total of three day-offs including the weekends. I just wanted to clarify that in case some of you might wonder why it was suddenly the weekends after the whole USJ event. It wasn't openly stated in the series though so consider it a personal headcanon of mine (⌐■ل͜■)ლ
※ Another of my headcanons: Class 1-A (and perhaps most of the first years) haven't seen Nedzu yet, because of the lack of a proper orientation, so even though Alumi saw Nedzu that day in the USJ, she didn't recognize him as the principal (and tbh, would anyone even guess the cute asf talking rat-bear is the principal without prior notice? I wouldn't lol). I think the first time they formally acknowledged/recognized Nedzu as the principal was sometime before Season 2 Episode 21 because by that time they already knew who he was. But again, it wasn't explicitly stated. Feel free to correct me if there's anything I missed though!
※ This is actually one of my favorite chapters to write because we finally got to delve deeper into Reika's character. She's definitely more than just the initial slightly-toxic antagonistic mom-character. She's a complex character in her own right, who struggles to reconnect with her daughter who she became estranged with. That much is clear by now, right? I wanted her to be a solid 'stopper' in Alumi's way, though not necessarily an active one. On that note she's in parallel with Inko, who in Season 3 Episode 12, openly expressed her objection in Izuku continuing to study in U.A. That struck me as significant because most Shounen protagonists (whose parents are either dead or negligent) have their dreams hampered by antagonists, but in Izuku's case, it was his mom who only cared for his safety. So it really saddened me that some people berated Inko for her 'meddling' and that 'why she was suddenly going against Izuku's dream that far in the series'. It was actually a very realistic situation, and people really need to understand that sometimes the worst hampering comes not from our enemies, but those closest to us. This too is a part of this story I'm serious in developing, as it's like the third significant battle that Alumi's going to face. One being her coping with her trauma, her relationship with Bakugou, and finally her relationship with her mother. That said, this'll probably be the last of their exhausting exchanges in the meantime 'cause the chapters to come are gon' be canon-heavy! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
In response to the Guest Reviews:
Guest (October 28, 2019): That is so sweet and dedicated of you! (っ˘ω˘ς ) I hope you enjoyed this one as it's definitely more of Alumi. Thank you so much for your time!
Mon: He's good comic relief material that's for sure and I would hate for not taking advantage of it lol. Also, is it bad if I tell you I actually like Mineta since the very start? ;v; Thanks for dropping by~! ❤
Guest (January 28): You and me both! And just lemme just share that when I first watched Aizawa-sensei getting trashed like that I got so mad lmao he was losing so much blood and was in legit critical condition and didn't get proper medical attention in, what, 20 MINUTES? If that was real life he'd be dead already! I was so frustrated lol I was sobbing screaming like "Why is no one taking care of my mans!?" so I had Alumi take care of 'im ;) But thanks to that it seems to have sparked some untoward interest in those who are into teacher x student relationships (=.=) but see Aizawa-sensei is my husband. Alumi's getting Kacchan's gremlin punk-ass and that's final.
BTW:
To anyone who's wondering about how it went with my former bestfriend, I'm sad to say that we never saw each other last year or the year before that, so the impossibility of a closure is probably a forgone conclusion at this point. It used to bother me a great deal, but I'm in a better place now, mentally and emotionally. It took me a lot of heavy introspecting and brutal honesty but I'm finally liberated because I've achieved the hardest part of the whole ordeal; forgiving her and myself.
I still love her tho, and that's probably the hardest thing I had to admit to in the midst of my resentment and pain, and probably the hardest thing to forgive myself for; that I still and will always love her despite everything she did. I guess the saying 'In loving comes the risk of hating' holds true for me and it comes in vice versa, that even though I hated her, I'll always come back to loving her.
Mind sound sappy but what can I say? I willingly gave her a part of me that I can never get back. And that part is hers forever. I'm not as hopeful as to rekindle our relationship, but at the very least I hope she can find it in herself to forgive me someday, too. For her sake, first and foremost.
And that's the end of that issue! Thank you for even bothering with my dramatic sappiness, ya'll. Especially to UglyThunder and Forever Stargazing for mentioning it in their reviews, and to Viacinyde for the comforting PM. Much appreciated ( ´ ل͜ ` )ﾉ✿
Oh and this is completely irrelevant but in case it wasn't obvious I'm a whore for supportive couples and happy marriages kbye ❤
[Date Updated]: February 01, 2021.