Chapter 12

Emily's POV…

When I left the apartment that night after writing that letter, I fully intended to never see Edward Hyde ever again, and despite my greatest expectations for him to come after me anyway, I didn't. Edward didn't come after me. He didn't appear in the shadows of my living space as he had before, but he seemed to disappear altogether. I was left with only my memories of him and despite my wish to leave him, they were never good enough.

"I always thought he'd come after me anyway" I thought, finding this thought repeating itself far too often when I was alone. I had meant every word I wrote in that letter. I had written each with my feeling laid bare, but I hadn't expected the man I loved to heed them the way he appears to. I had expected part of me had even longed for him to come after me just so he could try to change my mind, but Edward had surprised me. He had left me to find some other happiness in this life and yet even as I knew that I also knew that happiness would never be possible if he was not apart of my life. I had meant every word when I'd said I loved him and yet in the wake of our affair it all seemed to be dissolving into a story book like tale that had me questioning the truth of what had happened between us. For he was simply gone from my life and it didn't feel as if it should be over that easily. I looked for him as I walked home, sometimes I expected him to appear out of the shadows or on occasion when I went by what had been our place, I would expect him to be waiting at the bottom of the steps. He was never there though and when I looked up into the windows, they were always black.

Edward was never completely gone though, for he seemed always on my mind, so much so that it was like he never left. I often found myself wondering where he was or if he'd found someone to be what I was to him? If he'd even really try, but the fact was I just missed him. I missed the way he made me feel. The giddy echo that sounded in my heart when I was on my way to him. Yet despite that longing there was nothing I could do to deny that what we'd done was necessary because no matter how my mind tried to work it out there was no way we could be together. Not while Jekyll still coexisted with Edward himself. I wanted what was best for both of us and the risk of harm was too close if we continued as we were. I only hoped as Edward remained absent from my life that Jekyll hadn't harmed his soul more then he'd done since we'd been together last. I want him to continue on as he had before and after we had met, so that Jekyll could never tame him. I wanted Edward to be free, even if it meant that we would always be separate, and I wanted him to find what little semblance of happiness was possible for him. That was what I thought Edward deserved and it kept him on my mind in the time after our last encounter. I continued on with my life trying to tell myself I wanted the same for myself, but it wasn't the complete truth. I couldn't really see myself with anyone other than Edward, yet all the same I picked up the pieces that remained and continued on. I went on just as I had been except now there was always a hidden longing in my heart. Edward's face was always hidden behind my eyes and sometimes I could have begged to be back in his arms, but our circumstances always reminded me that that part of my life had come to its final conclusion. The knowledge of that was bittersweet as I began each day from beginning to end. It was like my own mind was keeping me on the edge of reason. For even as I knew this was what was best that this was what I wanted and yet as Edward had granted me my wish the truth was that I didn't know what I wanted. That deep down I wanted Edward, but I couldn't have him anymore. I didn't know what I wanted, but I knew that I loved him. That I would always love him even as my mind told me that he was a danger to my life. Yet even as I knew that the part of me that loved him missed him. So much so that a heart sickness fell over me that left me dizzy when I could think of only him. That dizziness only got worse as Edward became a constant wondering thought on my mind.

It was as I was pressing linens that my head spun. I could feel the girl next to me looking then speaking to me, but I heard nothing. I could only remember looking at her as the spinning in my brain went round then around again. It got faster and faster as it continued until suddenly, I was alone. The girl next to me disappeared and I was in a sea of blackness that I didn't completely understand. I was just alone and something in me started to tremble. Because without Edward I knew I would be alone for the rest of my life. That wasn't the complete truth though, for my time with Edward Hyde wasn't as over as I was so prepared to believe. He still had a place in my future it was just that the time for that hadn't come yet. I was meant to see Edward Hyde again, to be apart of his journey as he was mine, but that didn't come clear until much later. It wouldn't when my eyes opened or in the days after that. Because the future is never certain and that was never truer than with Edward and I. When my eyes finally woke up from that blackness, I wasn't in the hospital or anywhere I expected to be. I was in a room far finer then anywhere I'd ever been. The lights hurt my eyes, but as I sat up that ended quickly to reveal a place that was completely unknown to me.

It had been only just passed noon, but now the windows here were dark like the ones in our place.

"You're awake" whispered a voice snapping me into attention. I looked in the direction of the voice only to find a complete stranger looking down at me. They held a mixture of sympathy and hard questioning as I looked at him an unseen shiver of fear suddenly in my bones. I looked back at this man, always hiding my fear, but as I looked at this man, I wasn't so sure there was anything to fear at all. He looked as normal as a man could as he stood above me. His hair was gray as was the whiskers on his face. He held an honest sympathy about him as he looked at me and yet I didn't let my guard down. I couldn't let myself trust him even as he looked at me silently asking me to.

"Why am I here and who are you?" I exclaimed the words quicker then anyone expected them to be. I held the blanket to my chest then as he looked at me as if trying to find the words. I could feel my heart waiting to jump out of my chest then as the silence built as I waited for his answer. The man came towards me with his hands held out in front of him.

"My name is Gabriel Utterson…I was…am, a friend of Dr, Henry Jekyll" said the man, not expecting me to jump from the bed I was in. I let my eyes roam the room, looking for Jekyll, but only the solitary man remained.

"Henry is gone…he disappeared the night you were seen leaving the apartment he had rented for someone he called Hyde. He left you something…if you'll let me, I'll show you" said the man stepping to open the door to the room we were in. He stood with his hand on the knob, waiting for me to proceed him, and with small steps, I did. Not just because I didn't see many other choices, but because of my love for Edward. Even if I never intended to see him again, I needed to know he was alive, and well. Utterson led me to a study with a huge desk in the center and once I sat down, he started his story as well as he knew it.