DECEMBER 14 FRIDAY

Sirius had certainly joked about asking for a resorting in the past, but James hadn't believed it could be done.

But apparently it could be done, as he came to learn.

James was so unbelievably annoyed that Sirius was behaving like a drama queen over such a basic joke.

"I don't need him!" he told Remus when they were walking along after lunch, looking for a place to stop and prepare for the next class. "If he can't take a joke then that's just his problem! Pfft! 'New friends!' Who is he going to be friends with now? Snape? Minging git one or minging git two? Ha ha ha ha ha!"
His question was immediately answered.

"Would those be any of them over there?" Remus asked.

A group of witches sat at the top of some stairs. To James, they were all unbelievably hideous. He kept telling himself they were incredibly hideous.

Their luscious hair and smooth faces and doe eyes... What a bunch of uggos!
And Sirius was among them. He had his head in Ebola Crool's lap. She was also doing the nails on one of his hands. Morticia Graves did the other. Cruella Savile did a foot and Kalimata Singh was braiding beads into his hair.

"Look at him!" James muttered. "Hanging out with a bunch of... girls!"
Boring evil girls that very likely only talked about boring evil girl things. Persephone Kilmore was looking in a magasine. A girly magasine full of pictures of pretty boys most likely!

"That one is nice!" said Persephone Kilmore, pointing out what had to be a picture of lipstick.

"Yeah that's a really cool Jaguar," Ebola Crool agreed.

"Would you check out the overhead lifters and the four barrel quads on that one."

"Oh yeah."

Ok so they were girls talking about something stereotypically bloky like cars in order to prove something. Whatevs!

"I have a lipstick in the same colour as that Rolls Royce," said Isis Webb.

Typical girls, James thought sourly. Only thinking about lipstick!

"I know because I once re-sprayed one myself."

"Ok I've done your nails now," said Ebola Crool. "Maybe when they've done your toes you can try out that low cut top we were talking about."

"Awesome," said Sirius, admiring his nails.

So there he was, in the arms of a bunch of coddling girls, not appearing to regret the resorting one bit. James had to say he had never seen anything so unfeminist. These girls! Did they not see how unfeminist it was?

"Hey!" said James.

Sirius glanced at him. "What?"

James didn't know what to say. He just wanted to talk, really.

"I can see you're happy with your new life."

The girls glared at James in such a way, it suggested that Sirius had been blabbing grave untruths.

Sirius broke free from them, telling them he had to talk to "the band", which did sound cool.

They went around the corner.

"Enjoying yourself?" James asked.

"Yep," Sirius replied. He had lipstick smudges to confirm it.

"Well... Live and let live. I guess trolls need some love, too."

James didn't want to seek conflict. After yesterday's drama he was afraid that Sirius would react violently to anything. But he was completely non-reactive.

"I don't know what came over me yesterday," he said. "I thought I had a spot and I just got SO angry! Now I just don't get it. And I just have this constant urge to wear the Grinch mask but that's beside the point."

"Maybe you got the teen hormoons."

"I must have contracted those teen hormoons."

"Does this mean you will sort back?"

"I'd like to. But I can't just change house all willy nilly."
"So say you're being bullied by giiirls, then!"
"I can't."

"Why not? I mean it worked before-"

"Because I can't, alright!"

Sirius turned away, all dramatic-like.

"Surely being bullied can't be the only circumstance that would permit a resoriting," said Remus.

Sirius turned back, un-dramatic like.

"What other circumstance could?"

"Maybe if...No."

"Maybe if yes!"

"Forget it."

"Forget what! Just say it!"
"I shouldn't even say it but in some schools, the bully is resorted."
"Hey yeah!" said James. "You should just bully someone!"

"No he shouldn't!"
"I mean only a little bit!"

"No that's not a good idea," said Sirius.

"Why not?"

"Because that could take forever! People who are bullied can be very reluctant to report it."
"I guess that's a fair point. How observant of you, 'though, I have to say."

"Yes well..," Quick side-glance at Peter.

"I see Fletcher," said Remus. "I have to ask him about this thing. See you."

Remus left to ask Fletcher about that thing.

"I hope he's asking him to be de-loused," said James.

But Sirius was still on the old topic.

"Besides, I've thought of another circumstance that I am fairly certain could get me resorted."

"What's that?"

"I'll tell you on one condition! You can't tell Moo about it, ok?"

"Ok I won't! Tell me!"

Sirius whispered in James's ear. James just stared at him.

"What?" Sirius asked. "You don't like it?"

"No," said James. "I don't like it."

"Oh..."

"I love it!"
"Awesome! But you understand why Moony can't know. He won't understand."

"Hey I know, you don't need to explain that to me!"

Sirius had the Grinch mask in his hand.

"Brand practice tonight. You may have to start without me."

"We can do that, what matters is that I'm there."
Sirius pulled the mask over his head. And then he began to pull down Christmas decorations.

"I HATE Christmas!"
"But you love Christmas!" said James. "Because it's so glam!"
"I hate Christmas bands! I hate Christmas pudding! And I especially hate YOU!"
"Me?"

Sirius stormed off.

Clearly he was suffering from a serious case of teen hormoons.