TEDDY

"What?! Really?!" I shriek and hug him by the neck, feeling how he squeezes me back, tightly. "What else do you remember?!" I ask him, pulling back.

He's thoughtful for a few seconds, as if searching in his mind. Then he looks me dead in the eye. "Nothing. It's all I remember. It was for you, but I never told you out of shame. That's it."

I'm disappointed for a moment, but at least he remembers something, it's better than nothing. I smile at him and gently stroke his cheek, at that moment we hear the door latch and finally we enter the house.

The rest of the night is magical, we all laugh and sing while Owen plays the guitar. He is strangely affectionate, it's as if that talk and that kiss have taken away his inhibitions, but I don't feel entirely comfortable. Yes, I love him and I'm expecting his baby, but I also consider how uncomfortable the situation is now that he doesn't remember me.

But it's Christmas, so lower my guard at least a little. The occasional stolen looks, the smiles across the room, then he goes sit next to me, stroking my hair while my face boils with shame at the looks the others give us, his hand on my bump almost all the time. There is a moment where practically everyone's hands are on my belly and it is beautiful, we all laugh. It's perfect.

The time to exchange gifts is crazy, everyone has gone overboard with gifts for the baby, they're so many that I don't know where they had them hidden all these days. I feel overwhelmed with so much love and attention towards me and my baby.

"Are you okay?" Owen asks me softly in the ear when, apparently, he notices my discomfort.

I smile at him. "It's nothing, it's just... it's too much, I'm still not used to these exaggerated displays of love from Megan and your mom."

"They always go overboard. But they are excited about the baby, so am I."

I feel a knot in my throat. "Really?"

He bends down and kisses my baby belly gently. "You have no idea."

I don't say anything else, otherwise I'd burst into tears.

A couple of hours later, all the emotions of the day start to wreak havoc on me and I begin to feel extremely exhausted. I say goodbye to Evelyn, Megan and Nathan who seem to still have energy to stay up for a while, meanwhile Owen walks me to my bedroom to then go to his. I can't help noticing Megan's mischievous looks when they see us leave together. I roll my eyes internally.

"It was a wonderful night. I can't wait for the ultrasound." Owen tells me, dangerously close to me, once we're out of my bedroom.

"Yeah, it was perfect."

He is about to kiss me again, but I push him away gently, noticing the confusion in his eyes. "I don't think this is appropriate. Merry Christmas, Owen." I don't give him time to say much more when I open the door of my room and close it quickly behind me, flopping in bed breathing deeply.

The next morning Owen acts as if nothing happened, so I don't know if I feel relieved or not. My head makes hundreds of stories, thinking that last night's kiss meant nothing and that he only did it because of Megan. But what about the other kiss he wanted to give me? No one was pushing him. Ugh, you're going crazy, Teddy!

Ultrasound day comes and only Owen and I go to the appointment. "Casually" Evelyn and Megan have things to do, which I don't buy, since on other occasions they postpone everything days in advance to be present for the ultrasound.

The trip to the hospital is uncomfortably silent. It makes me regret a little. I have to do something to break the ice.

"So, how have you felt lately?" I ask Owen, turning slightly towards him, but returning my look to the road immediately, and slapping me internally. For real? Is this the smartest thing that I could come up with?

"Good." Shrugs.

Silence again. My hands sweat on the steering wheel and my little one kicks like crazy. "First ultrasound, excited?" I ask another question, smiling nervously.

"You know I am." He smiles.

"Yeah, it's just... you've been very quiet."

"I had a very rough night, that's all. But I'm very excited, don't doubt that for a moment." He assures me.

"Nightmares again?"

"Yeah." I don't want to push him anymore. I know how hard the therapies are for him.

We arrive at the hospital and I am immediately called by Dr. Montgomery. Since that time when my first doctor misdiagnosed my threat of pre-labor, Megan insisted that I stop seeing him and go with Dr. Addison Montgomery instead. After seeing her credentials, I couldn't refuse, not to mention how sweet and attentive she has been with me since the first time.

"Hey Teddy!" Dr. Montgomery welcomes me with a hug.

"Good, good. Thanks for asking, Dr. Montgomery!"

"Oh, please call me Addison. Nice to see you again. How's this little one doing?"

"Growing by the minute and not being able to be still for a second."

"That's a good sign. And you are...?" She addresses Owen.

"Owen Hunt." He offers his hand. "I am.…"

"He's the father." I go ahead and say.

"Oh, of course, Dr. Hunt's brother! Such a charming woman!"

"Yeah, that's my sister!" He answers, proudly of his sister and I can't help smiling. The love that Owen and Megan have for each other is otherworldly.

"Well, well, well, hands to work!"

Addison does the routine tests. When I get on the scale I find myself surprised that I've gained 8 pounds since the last appointment. One month ago. In a month I gained 8 pounds! And I don't find it hard to believe, I feel heavier, slower when walking, it's as if my body is compensating for those first months in which I didn't gain a single pound. That somehow makes me feel insecure, it's a blow to my self-esteem, my body is not what it used to be, my arms and legs are flabby and with no trace of muscular tone, my face looks more round, and well, my breasts and my belly... I can't believe how much they've grown.

I don't feel comfortable in my own skin and I can't help bursting into tears. Addison gives us a few minutes alone and Owen holds me in his arms tightly assuring me that there's nothing wrong with this, that it's transitory, that I look fantastic and most importantly, that our baby is ok.

When I've managed to calm down, we proceed to the ultrasound. Owen stands next to me, holding my hand and stroking my hair. Things that Megan and Evelyn usually do, and that I always dreamed that he did, and today he is finally doing it, I feel like crying again, this time of happiness.

When the first images of the baby show on the screen, I can hear Owen gasping in amazement. I look at him and his eyes are wide open, looking closely at the monitor. I squeeze his hand that holds mine, he looks at me and a tear rolls down his cheek, making mine roll uncontrollably as well. We both laugh and cry at the same time.

"Oh my god!" Owen exclaims suddenly.

"What?!" I ask alarmed.

"Did I see what I think I saw? Can you move the handle a little?" Owen asks Addison, she does and Owen and I gasp at the same time.

"IT'S A GIRL!" We exclaim.

"Oh my God, sorry, I forgot you wanted it to be a surprise!" Addison apologizes, but we don't care.

We are having a baby girl. Owen and I hug each other crying and laughing even more.

"Congratulations on your baby girl." Addison congratulates us with a warm smile and continues with the ultrasound while Owen and I sob happily.

"Look at her, she has her hand in her mouth!" Owen exclaims.

"She does that all the time!" I tell him.

"Oh my God, look at her!" Owen is so amazed at our daughter and that just makes me love him more.

"She's a pretty big baby!" Addison informs us. "She is 32 weeks, but she is measuring 34-35 weeks, which is completely normal and good. You two are quite tall people, a big baby is quite normal, besides, this is a sign that Teddy has been taking care of herself as I asked her to, which will result in a beautiful baby girl."

"No wonder I'm the size of a tank!" I scoff.

"Believe it or not you are within the range. Teddy, remember that you didn't gain weight at the beginning of your pregnancy."

"And what about everything else?" Owen asks. "Is she ok? Her limbs, her weight, her heart rate."

"She is the healthiest baby girl." Addison says with a smile. "But, the only thing I can notice is that she's still in a transverse position and seems quite comfortable resting in your pelvis and between hip bones, Teddy. And you see this? She has her legs and her arms just below your ribs."

I growl. "No wonder all I feel is her constant blows on my ribs. But what can I do to make her turn before delivery?"

"I can give you a list of exercises you can do at home, although they are not always effective. We can also try it manually. But I'd prefer we leave things as they are, see if this young lady feels like turning around. Usually, when the time comes the contractions force the baby to turn, but if they don't, we'll perform a C-section. In the meantime, I don't want you to stress over this, we'll see how things change on your next appointment, ok?"

I nod resigned. A C-section, just what I didn't want.

When Addison finishes the ultrasound she prints us some photographs with the best angles. I give all to Owen, as a gift of his first ultrasound. He can't stop looking at them all the way back home. Once there Megan and Evelyn ask us how the appointment was and we surprise them with the sex of the baby-. They burst into tears and screams of joy, regretting not having gone with us. And although I thank infinitely all the times they were there for me, this time, only Owen and I, it was perfect. It was as if nothing had changed, as if things were as before.

OWEN

Witnessing the ultrasound was something out of this world, I can't explain what I felt when I saw my baby girl all curled up, moving and stretching. I can say that it has been the best experience of my life, it makes me have a purpose in this life, it makes me keep trying to remember everything.

It's been some very difficult days in every way, I've tried to get closer to Teddy, but she seems to push me more and more away. I know she loves me, so I don't understand her attitude, although I think I know the reason, and that's because of all the time I spend with Beth.

"So... Will Beth go with you to your therapy tomorrow?" Megan asks me as she places a huge cup of hot chocolate in front of me.

"Yes, why?"

She shrugs. "Nothing, I just thought it'd be a good idea for Teddy to go with you for a change. I mean, the girl will be here very soon, it would be good if you two start to bond, today you did very well on the ultrasound."

I think about it. "I don't know, she seems not interested in coming with me, besides, Beth has been so attentive to me, I can't tell her that I don't want her to come with me anymore just like that."

"You are truly stupid, aren't you?!" She sounds really annoyed. I look at her frowning. "Teddy pushes you away because of Beth! Don't you realize you're hurting her, Owen? She suffers every time she sees you with Beth, she will never tell you, but she wants to be in her place. You promised her the world, you left Beth because you didn't love her, because you loved Teddy and now, it looks like you also forgot that you only want Beth as a friend?!" Megan rants furiously.

"And I want her only as a friend! But you don't understand, Megan!"

"Understand what? That are you making Beth raise her hopes again?" I sigh defeated and drop in a chair. "Owen, what's going on? We know you have gone through hell, but we need to know what you feel, what you think, otherwise we will keep misinterpreting your actions." This time she is softer.

"I… just… Beth is… I don't know, my comfort zone I think? I'm afraid, I'm afraid of the unknown, my stupid brain interprets it as something bad and dangerous."

"Do you think Teddy is dangerous?"

"No, no, no! I don't know, my therapist asked me why I think I only forgot Teddy and I didn't know what to say."

"Don't you think you forgot her to keep her safe? One way or another you thought that having her in a safe place in your mind would protect her from what you were going through."

I chuckle. "That is exactly what my therapist told me. That I was just trying to protect her and it makes some sense… Teddy told me that it was her the one supposed to go in that helicopter… just to think that she could've lived all that experience, I don't know… I'd rather live it a thousand times again before let her experience something of that hell."

"You should tell all that to Teddy. She is confused too, she thinks you love Beth or want something with her, so she rejects all your advances. And you also have to talk to Beth, you know, put things clear with her."

I nod solemnly. "Here." She gives me another cup of hot chocolate and adds marshmallows. "Teddy is on the front porch and loves hot chocolate with marshmallows." She gives me one last knowing glimpse and leaves me alone.

I take the cup of hot chocolate and go to where Teddy is, looking at the snow. I open the door quietly, and I can hear her talking to the baby. I eavesdrop and I think I've fallen in love with her. Again.

TEDDY

Today the snowfall is not so heavy, it is rather mild. My girl hasn't stopped kicking all day long and now she seems to have hiccups. I take a thick, warm and furry blanket and sit cross-legged on the large and comfortable bench-swing on the front porch, comfortably among all the pillows, watching the snow and waiting for my girl's hiccups episode to pass. It feels so funny, it's like a little frog, jumping and jumping. And today more than ever I feel like talking to her.

"You know? I love snow and Christmas, my first tour was very hard for me and everyone, but Daddy made it very special. He took a snow machine to the desert. Can you believe it?! Everyone was so, so happy. And just the other day he confessed that it was for me, he took the machine for me, but he was very shy to tell me. Daddy is like that, my love, he always has these great gestures that make your heart skip a beat, I'm sure he will fill you with great gestures and love you very, very much."

Then I hear someone clear their throat, when I turn around I meet Owen and I feel really ashamed. I don't know how much of my conversation with the baby he heard.

"Hey, it's cold out here, you should get in!" He tells me sitting next to me and giving me a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows.

I laugh under my breath and take the cup with pleasure. "I'm quite comfortable here. Also, how to be cold with this?" I lift the thick blanket that covers me. "And this". Then I place my hand on my bump.

"Good point." He laughs.

I bring the cup of chocolate close to my nose and give it a long sniff and sigh. "I love your mom's hot chocolate. I need her to give me the recipe." Then I take a long gulp.

"Yeah, she makes the best hot chocolate in the world, not because she is my mom, but it's really the best in the world."

"I follow you in the notion. It's the best hot chocolate in the world."

"I remember when Megan and I were little, just as many children sell lemonade in summer, we used to sell hot chocolate. We were a hit, with the money we earned we bought our first pairs of roller skates." Owen tells me that memory that, by the way, I already knew, with so much enthusiasm and his eyes light up in a way that for a moment I feel emotional.

"Is everything okay?" And apparently he notices.

"Yeah, why?" I pretend I don't know what he's talking about.

"Your face looks gloomy."

I frown, pretending surprise. "I am not!" He gives me a knowing look. "Ok… just please don't feel upset, surely they're my hormones that have me crazy, but… it makes me emotional to see how you remember so many things… except… you know. But that's fine! You will do it in due time."

"Teddy, I'm so sorry."

"Don't apologize, it's not your fault."

"I swear I'm trying like crazy." He assures me.

I smile at him and turn my gaze to the snow, drinking from my cup of hot chocolate.

OWEN

We fall into a relative and comfortable silence. Relative because it wasn't my intention to make Teddy feel upset by telling her my memories. But she seems to understand.

"Was it true?" She asks me out of nowhere and I look at her questioningly. "The snow... was it true?"

I don't know why, but something told me that she didn't believe my story entirely, even though she was very excited. "It was true. Though…".

"Though?" She questions me.

"I think there is something I should clarify, or confess. At first I didn't remember it was for you, I just remembered that I had brought the snow machine. It wasn't until we kissed that I remembered it was for you."

She seems intimidated by my response, looks down at the cup of hot chocolate as if it were the most interesting thing in the world.

I can't stop looking at her. She is so incredibly beautiful. The most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Her childish look when she sees the snow, her crooked smile when she is ashamed, her sweet face when she rubs her belly.

"Have you thought of names?" I ask her when I see how she rubs her side.

She looks at me with a shy smile. "The truth is that I haven't given much thought to that. I had some ideas, but nothing sure. A lot of things are going in my head."

I try not to take that last comment personally. It is understandable that with everything that has happened the last in her mind are baby names. "So, you told me it was a difficult pregnancy."

"Yeah. Well, as I told you, it was hell the first few months, I lost a lot of weight. I'm still dealing with anemia, although I've been dealing with it for years now. But you heard Addison, everything is better. Now all we need is for this little lady to turn around." She pats her belly. "She loves to roll in my pelvis, you don't know how painful that is sometimes! But if that means she's fine, and she's growing healthy, and she's getting in position I can take it." She gives me a huge smile that makes me feel like my heart stops for a second.

"I have been thinking that we should start setting her nursery." I propose with great enthusiasm. "She will be here in a couple of months so..."

She seems to look uncomfortable at my proposal, she stirs and bites her lips, avoiding my eyes. "I would like to wait to find my own place. I've some appointments with realtors after the new year."

"Then you will leave?" I ask, unable to avoid sounding offended.

She looks at me condescendingly. "Owen… it's for the best." She gets up from the bench- swing to enter the house, but I'm faster and I get in her way.

"Owen, let me in!" She asks me, sternly.

"You won't leave. I won't let you go, neither you nor our daughter." I warn her.

She sighs. "Let's not do this again, I already told you that you will see your daughter whenever you want. But us... Owen, there is no longer an us. It's useless."

She tries to get past me, but I take her in my arms and kiss her deeply. She cuts the kiss immediately and pushes me away. "Don't be stupid. Don't make this more complicated!"

"Why is this complicated?! Why are we complicated?! My mind doesn't remember you, but my heart does. My heart knows how special you are and I'm determined that my mind knows it too." I assure her, just inches from her face, looking into her eyes. I'm determined to remember her. We are not over.

A single tear rolls from her right eye and she wipes it immediately. "There can't be anything between us. Not until you—" She stops mid-sentence and looks over my shoulder. I turn to see what caught her attention and I see Beth heading towards the house. Then I only feel the lack of Teddy's warm body in front of me when she leaves me standing there and heads inside the house.

I don't know why I feel so furious, I'm so furious that I want to break things. She can't give up on us, she loves me and I, although I don't remember her, love her too. My heart does remember her.

"Hey." Beth stands in front of me, smiling broadly. I don't know how or why I do it, but when I realize her face is between my hands and my lips on hers...