sherlock are you at home? Mycroft keeps trying to kidnap me to get information about you and I'm trying my best to deny but the car keeps following me. -JW
John, use a capital letter when writing my name. That is basic primary school knowledge, I am appalled. As for my brother I do not wish to speak to him, get in the car. -SH
Okay Mr. Etiquette. -JW
Mr Tea-Jam get in the car. -SH
The best you could do is comment on my eating habits? Good play Mr. Literacy. -JW
Mr. Captain-Watson. -SH
That doesn't make sense. Captain Watson. -SH
Pulling rank are we? -JW
When all else fails. -SH
I liked pulling rank at Baskerville, it felt good. -JW
I liked it too. -SH
Why did you like it? -JW
It was good to see you take control, often I'm the one in control of the situations. -SH
You're right. It did feel good to be in control and I hadn't pulled rank in ages. I never get to anymore. -JW
You can pull rank at home if you wish. -SH
Why would I pull rank at home? -JW
Oh no reason. -SH
Okay.. -JW
Did you get in Mycroft's car? -SH
I did. -JW
What does he want? -SH
No idea, his assistant never tells me anything. It's always about you, always asking for information about you so I assume that's what today will be about. I get driven to god knows where to have a dramatic talk with the British government. Quite thrilling experience. -JW
Tell me what he says afterwards. -SH
I thought you didn't care about your brother. -JW
I don't, I just want to know what you two talk about. -SH
Hm okay. I was going to tell you anyways. -JW
I know. :) -SH
So is your brother and Anthea together? -JW
Professionally? Yes. Sexually? No. If you're planning on wooing her I would advice you not to. Anthea is MI6. -SH
Oh I tried the first time I met her, no luck there. Why would I care if she's MI6? -JW
Why would you care if she's having relations with my brother? -SH
I was just curious if your brother was in a relationship. -JW
I believe he will be in one soon. -SH
Oh really? With who? -JW
I don't know. We had an uncomfortable conversation about relationships and he mentioned that he is talking to somebody romantically and plans for it to flourish into a relationship. For an unknown reason he came to our flat to tell me this in person. -SH
Oh. I wonder who with. -JW
I wonder too. -SH
Oh, you're not interested in my brother are you? -SH
Christ Sherlock. No I'm not interested in your brother, I already have to deal with one Holmes brother I can't deal with another. -JW
You would be too good for Mycroft anyways. -SH
Does Mycroft swing that way? -JW
I'm not familiar with the term 'swing that way'. Could you stop using the youths terms. -SH
People our age use that phrase. I mean is Mycroft gay. -JW
I believe so but one should not be concerned with another's sexuality. -SH
I guess not but you asked about mine before. -JW
You asked about mine too. -SH
You never did tell me your sexuality, I understand that you don't trust me. Although as I said one should not be concerned with another's sexuality. -SH
I do trust you Sherlock, of course I bloody trust you. I just haven't figured it out yet, it's all quite confusing to me. -JW
Why is it confusing? -SH
I'd rather not talk about it. -JW
I'm here to talk if you want to talk about it. -SH
Sherlock Holmes offering me advice? Wow, never thought I'd see the day. -JW
I've arrived at the destination. I'll text you afterwards. -JW
Okay, don't tell Mycroft anything about me. I don't care for his aimless chatter and concern for me. -SH
Of course not, I'm not a traitor. Only got my eyes on one Holmes boy ;) -JW
(20 minutes later)
God can you two not just talk to each other instead of going through me? He just wanted to know if you're eating well and if you're doing drugs. -JW
As I've told you many times before my brother always was one for dramatics. I'm not sure why he worries about me, it's disgusting. Is that all he wanted? What else did you talk about? -SH
Just the usual menacing things somebody talks about with the British government. -JW
Which is? -SH
Nothing in particular. -JW
You're lying to me John. I know when you're lying. -SH
I hate you sometimes. -JW
I know. -SH
So what did he say? -SH
He asked if we have taken our relationship to the 'next level'. -JW
He was suggesting that we're in a romantic relationship? -SH
Yep. Your brother still thinks we're shagging. -JW
Interesting. -SH
How is that interesting? -JW
'Shagging' meaning having intercourse? -SH
Yes Sherlock what else would it bloody mean. -JW
Just making sure. -SH
I'm on my way home now. -JW
With one of Mycroft's minions? -SH
Yep. Anthea is always on her phone. Why? -JW
Business most likely, she is the assistant of the British Government. -SH
I'm not that stupid, of course it's business. What business would make her be on her phone all of the time? -JW
I don't keep unnecessary information in my mind John so I don't know the answer to that question. -SH
Detective Holmes doesn't know the answer. -JW
You're mocking me. -SH
Oh really? What gave it away? -JW
Sarcasm doesn't suit you. -SH
It was humour. -JW
Smart doesn't suit you either. -SH
Speaking of smart I need to purchase a suit and was wondering if you would help me? -JW
Financially? We can steal Mycroft's card. I've memorised the details for all of his accounts and I have one of his cards in my pocket. -SH
No not financially but yeah actually let's use Mycroft's money as payback for kidnapping me again. -JW
I meant fashion wise. Your style is quite smart, you're a well dressed man. JW
Oh well thank you John, that's very kind of you. We don't have anything going on tomorrow we could go shopping then? -SH
Wait you're actually going to help me? -JW
Of course, why wouldn't I? -SH
No reason. -JW
Why do you need a suit? -SH
I have to go to my cousins wedding on Saturday. I really don't want to go it's going to be annoying. I don't even like this cousin. -JW
If you don't like your cousin why are you going? -SH
My mum is making me, I can't argue against my mum. -JW
I haven't seen some of my family in so long and I'm going without a date, got to be ready for the bullying. -JW
Why would they bully you for not having a date? -SH
I'm known as 3 Continents Watson. I know my way around but I haven't had a long term partner to show my family in a while. I'm an adult now and I'm going to go to a wedding without somebody. I'm going to be a loner and they'll make fun of me. It's what my family does. -JW
That's preposterous. -SH
3 Continents Watson? -SH
You don't want to know. -JW
Oh but I do. -SH
Story for another time. -JW
Where and what time is the wedding? -SH
Kensington Gardens and it starts at 6:00pm. Why? -JW
I could come with you. I could pretend to be you boyfriend or even just your date. -SH
You would be willing to attend a wedding for me? -JW
I would. -SH
I appreciate that Sherlock, thank you. My parents and family don't really agree with gay people so if they thought I was gay they would disown me. -JW
Why do you care if they disown you? You don't need them, you're an adult. -SH
You're right. I don't care if they disown me but I would rather not make a scene at my cousins wedding. -JW
You don't like your cousin, why do you care if you make a scene? -SH
Social etiquette Sherlock. Regardless if I like my cousin or not I wouldn't want to ruin somebody's wedding day. Weddings are usually the most important day of people's lives. -JW
That is incorrect. A wedding cannot be somebody's most important day. That makes no sense. -SH
That's just how it is.-JW
Thank you for your offer though. -JW
What's your sexuality? -SH
What why? -JW
I know that your father is homophobic because of the way he reacted to Harry's coming out. I do not know where the rest of your family stands other than the information you have given me so I deduce that they're homophobic too. However not all of them can be homophobic as that's statistically impossible. Your lack of telling me your sexuality, deny of my offer and insistence of the fact that you're not gay gives me the idea that you may be homophobic. Now you're thinking 'I'm not homophobic I'm friends with you and you're gay'. Despite the fact you're friends with somebody who is gay does not rule out the possibility of internalised homophobia. -SH
So I ask again. What is your sexuality? -SH
Jesus Christ Sherlock.
I'm bisexual.
Are you happy now?
Fuck off.
I don't understand why you're angry with me and you forgot to sign your texts. -SH
Fuck off Sherlock.
I don't understand why you're angry. Could you please explain? -SH
You want to know why I'm fucking angry? You if all people who said you shouldn't be nosy about other peoples sexuality did the fucking thing . You pestered me about my sexuality when I wasn't ready to tell you. I get to decide when I tell people not you, not you pressuring me into it. I was going to tell you when I was ready.
I'm sorry John. -SH
Sorry doesn't fix it Sherlock.
I don't care if you're bisexual. I accept you. -SH
I don't care if you fucking accept me or not. I don't need your acceptance.
I won't be home tonight.
Why not? I thought you were on your way home? -SH
I was. I told Mycroft's minion to go somewhere else.
Why aren't you coming home? Where are you going? -SH
Can you sign your texts, it's very annoying when you don't. -SH
John? -SH
John answer me. -SH
John I'm sorry. -SH
(Calling John Watson)
(Call Failed)
John answer me. -SH
Come home. -SH
This is stupid and you know it. -SH
John. -SH