AS THE FIELDS HALF DISAPPEAR
chapter 12
By AliLamba
Notes: ugh I hate ending stories. Clearly. Thank you to those who left comments. Seriously, they got me off my butt.

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Relena had been kidnapped enough times to know the general playbook by now. They key was in the compliance. You spoke little, asked no complicated questions, and you waited for them to screw up. They always did. Or, well, actually, she'd really just always been rescued before.

"Good morning Evan," Relena said, as evenly as possible. His grin stretched even wider.

"Good morning Relena." He laughed a bit to himself, answering maybe her first question. "Shoot, what a dumbass name you gave yourself. Can't believe no one figured it out sooner. Seriously? You cut your hair and cut your name and you think, what, that's it? Master of disguise?"

Relena tilted her gaze toward Heero, found him still lying on the bed, his eyes wide and thinking. Would he be able to save them? She couldn't count on it.

"And this, I figured out, is Preventer Heero Yuy." Another question answered. Her mind was trying to work against the shock of it all. It was like wading against a crowd. Her mind was a riot of thoughts and she could barely control any of them.

They both watched as Heero slowly, so slowly, sat himself, slightly angled away.

Evan's voice was cold and sharp in the dark. "You know it took me a while to figure out who you were, even without you giving me a fake name. Lots of redacted files with your name attached, Preventer. Lots of people willing to insist you don't exist." He snorted. "Lena Miller though. Ridiculous. But all the information's there, if you know where to look. And I know where to look."

Relena remembered that she was barely wearing any clothes. Heero was similarly in a state of undress.

Evan seemed to notice at the exact same time. "Didn't really know what a lying slut you were though. That wasn't in your file. Ha." His grin turned crude, lascivious. "You know, Seth always wondered why you never wanted to fuck him." Relena's mind went blank.

"I—"

There was a rumble from her side as if, as if Heero…he growled, almost.

"Not that I care about Seth. I always wanted to know why you wouldn't fuck me, but." He bit his lower lip. "There's a time and a place for everything, I guess. Get dressed."

Relena looked at her lap for a moment, counting her breaths. Don't react. Don't react. She cared little about whatever nudity she was showing; she knew Heero cared about the same. She reached for the straps of her bra, pulling them back on, working the bodice of her dress up from where it had pooled around her waist. She kept hearing the weight of the gun as it shifted in Evan's hand.

She had to reach behind herself for the zipper, and her hands were slightly damp from all the nerves. Her fingers slipped on the metal, once, then twice, and she was trying to grit her teeth without letting Evan see when she felt… When she felt Heero's sure, warm fingers, on her spine.

Her hands curled in on her palms.

He zipped up her dress.

"Where are we going?" Heero's first, gravely words. Evan narrowed his eyes at him.

"You think I'm just going to tell you? Fuck off." He reached to a bag at his side, his gun still trained on both of them. Relena felt Heero tense beside her. Evan threw something metallic at Heero, who caught it easily. "Give those to the girl. She's going to put them on you."

Relena turned to face Heero. His shirt was back on, his pants rebuckled. He still had that cold feral look in his eyes, as if he'd burn everything to the ground with barely a hint of provocation. He passed the metallic thing into her hands, and Relena realized they were handcuffs. She felt her breath swell in her lungs and hold there. Handcuffs? She heard the metallic clinking from Evan and her eyes slid unconsciously in his direction; he had another pair.

This felt wrong, this felt bad. She looked into Heero's eyes, trying to figure it out. Did he have a plan? She wasn't sure what she was supposed to do.

Heero held his wrists out in front of him, and Relena's eyes flared. No, she wanted to say, but Heero's gaze was steadfast.

It took a moment to work out the mechanics; she didn't regularly handle handcuffs in her life. But she slid them open, slid them closed around Heero's wrists. Her blood was pounding in her veins.

"Tighter, please," Evan said, when he noticed she was going to leave them large enough for Heero to slip right off. She looked at Heero, hard. And then she tightened the cuffs.

"Good. Now these are for you. He's going to help you put them on."

Heero did, after she'd put on the first. His fingers were cold, his palms the uncomfortable version of warm, where they would be sweating if Heero wasn't so…Heero.

"Good. Now we're leaving."

She broke her cardinal rule. "Through the house? Someone will be awake. We'll be caught." We'll be shot, Relena didn't feel like adding. Evan grinned again.

"Bartender, remember? Everyone's sleeping tonight. I imagine you could scream at the top of your lungs, as long as you wanted, and wouldn't nobody be up to hear ya."

Her shoulders drifted down. She couldn't think. She couldn't think. Evan had – he'd brought handcuffs. He'd drugged everyone. He'd planned this, he'd – he'd –

"He's going first." Evan was moving his gun at Heero, jerking it toward the door. Heero wasn't wearing shoes.

"Would you like to tell me what sort of terrain we'll be dealing with? I need to know whether to bring a coat."

Evan sneered. "A coat?" He fired the gun.

He fired the gun, and Relena didn't even know what the popping noise was, until she realized Heero had stepped half in front of her, and that feathers were floating, from her pillow. The bullet had left a breeze.

"How about no fucking coat. How about less talking. Next time I shoot the girl."

Relena felt the first stirrings of panic. No, she bleated to herself. No, get a grip. Panic was the death sentence, that was how her friend, foreign correspondent Valerie Supnet had died. Valerie had been recently married at the time. Don't think about her. Valerie's wife, crying at the service. No. Focus. Focus. Focus.

Relena saw her shoes on the ground, the flimsy, decorative sandals that had looked so nice with her dress just a few hours ago. She slid them on, not daring to do more than glance down, to get her feet in them. Heero did the same.

"Great. We're wasting time. Let's go."

Heero didn't even glance at her, spared her no reassurance. He wasn't even looking at the gun. He wasn't even looking at the gun, as if, any of the remaining bullets couldn't end his life in a single half-second. The terror was there, simmering inside her, waiting for attention. She focused on her breathing, on the shallow, desperate puffs she could control. Heero led as they walked out of her room, and Evan grunted approval when Heero walked toward the stairs. The house was so eerily silent. It was never this quiet. Not even in the dead of winter was it this quiet.

They went through the hallway to the kitchen with no objection. The coffee pot was still on. Someone must have turned it on last night, and then, left it. It smelled burnt as they passed it, walking out the door to the porch.

The wind early blew her over.

Relena looked sharply in the direction it was coming from. It was strong, too strong. Was it-? No, she hadn't seen anything about it. Heero paused at the top of the stairs. Relena nearly ran into him.

"What the fu—"

"Where am I going."

Evan loosed a frustrated noise. "Down the steps. Around the barn. Edge of the wheat fields."

It was such a long walk. The stars were still out, the sky inky black.

The wind tossed the hem of her dress, her already tangled hair. She had no idea what time it was, was trying to focus on the strong angles of Heero's back as they walked, on her measured breaths, on how cold it was, now. Her dress barely had sleeves. The wind was so cold. Another storm? They'd just had one. Valerie. No. Stop thinking about that. She wouldn't think about that. Where was everyone? They weren't passing by the seasonal housing, but. Someone should be awake. Anyone. She wouldn't think about Evan behind her, as they made a silent procession. She'd think about him later, about the way he'd just so casually fired his gun. How was no one finding them?

The wheat had been harvested a few weeks ago, giant bales of it, tall as a house, now dotting the never-ending landscapes. The ground was relatively flat inbetween. The wheat looked silvery in the moonlight, in the starlight, the dark hulking masses intimidating in the dark. Was Evan acting alone? Listen.

She heard the soft whinnying of horses, before she saw it. Hidden behind one of the bales.

"Get in."

Heero had paused, maybe twenty feet away. Relena stopped alongside him, staring at it. Evan had – he'd – planned this. He'd planned all of it. Her wrists were already protesting the confines of the cuffs. They hadn't passed a living soul. And here, partially hidden along the northern road, was an off-road vehicle, hauling a horse trailer.

"Get in," Evan repeated, waving the gun. He'd been careful around Heero, threat recognizing threat, keeping a safe distance. That was too smart. She was sure in close combat this would have been over already.

"Get in where," Relena snapped. She hadn't spoken since they left the house, and Evan grinned, cruel, amused.

"It's unlocked," he answered with a flourish, taking a few steps back, angling the gun, finger on the trigger.

Her stomach was high and tight against her ribcage. She looked at the car. At the trailer. It wasn't very big. Barely the size for two horses, and – Relena walked up to it, using her shackled hands to flip open the latch. The doors swung open easily.

She didn't recognize the animals, but the sharp smell of feces was unmistakable. Get in? She heard the warnings of those who had tried to train her for just these scenarios: never let them take you to a second location. Scream. Don't let yourself seem worth it. None of that seemed valid now. None of that seemed to take into account that Evan had a gun trained on both of them, could so easily end either or both of their lives. Valerie. No. Think.

Worth more alive, you're worth more alive. He'll keep you alive.

Heero, was Heero worth more alive?

She stepped in to the trailer, moving out of the way so Heero could get in too.

"Good. All the way to the front, if you please."

"Where are we going?" she felt herself asking, when she and Heero were near the horse's heads, and Evan was approaching the door.

Again, that flash of teeth in the dark. His eyes had never looked like that, though, as he ignored her question, as he slammed the doors shut, as she heard the latch, and the lock.

It was so dark.

She heard Evan walk around the trailer, could see his legs through the gaps in the walls. The gaps weren't nearly big enough for either of them. She'd be lucky to slip a hand through.

"Heero," she whispered. He shushed her.

Relena closed her eyes, feeling the cold, and the wind, and the fear, still lingering, still clawing for dominance. Calm was vital. Calm would keep them alive. Stay calm and think. She heard the rev of an engine coming to life. No, she wanted to shout. She didn't want them to move. She didn't know where they were going. She felt as if – if they moved – it might be over. It might be too much. They shouldn't have been able to get this far. One of them should have stopped it. And the lurch then, the horses whinnying and stepping to regain their balance. She looked at them. The horses were saddled. Where was Evan taking them? Were the horses a disguise? Were they for them? Where were they going? She couldn't think – she could barely think –

"Heero," she said again, and finally, he came closer.

She wanted comfort. She wanted someone else to be in charge.

"Turn around."

Her shoulders slumped. His words were a command. She'd not get comfort from him, now. That was not the way Heero operated; he never had. She did as she was bid, because it felt better to comply, her arms limp in front of her. And then she jumped, when she felt Heero's manacled hands tugging on the zipper of her dress.

"Wha—"

"Your bra. I'm going to use the underwire to get us out of these cuffs."

"My—"

"Turn around, Relena."

She hadn't even thought of the cuffs. His voice was so steady, so calm, so…gentle? She'd learned this trait from him. She'd learned how to be calm from…

She did, and bit her lip, when Heero tugged down the zipper of her dress.

"I won't be able to get it over my arms," she said, thinking the process through.

"It's fine."

Her head tilted up, again, her expression pinched. She wanted to help but couldn't think. She wondered if it would be better if he wasn't there at all. His hands unclasped her bra with the same dexterity of the night before. Hours before.

"I don't know where we're going," she admitted, only loud enough for him to hear.

"North. We're going north."

"There's nothing north."

"We're on a road."

"The road ends."

Heero grunted a quick acknowledgment, seemingly focused on the task. Her dress was loose, the straps hanging off her upper arms, her bra undone. So cold. Heero pulled half of the bra out the back of her dress, pulling it to his face. She felt his thick, wind-tangled hair against her upper back as Heero used his teeth to rip the fabric. She grimaced at the sound. Then the uncomfortable jolt of Heero ripping the metal out, against the fabric meant to hold it in place. "Heero," she protested once, when he knocked her into the horse, and it shuffled its feet. "Sorry," was his quick reply, but he already had what he needed.

She exhaled. Fine. She could focus on this. The road was becoming rockier, and they climbed a slight hill. There was still no light to see by. Heero gave her the piece of metal to hold while he refastened her bra, rezipped her dress. She tried not to think about that. She tried to think instead about where they could be going. North. There was nothing. Did it matter?

Heero took the bit of metal and tried to fit it into the clasp. It wouldn't fit. He looked around, considering, and Relena looked away. It didn't matter to her how Heero figured it out. She'd seen wounds he'd stitched and bandaged himself; joints he'd set after dislocating them on purpose. She knew how competent he was at his job, even though, well. They'd talked at length about how much they both hated his job, for slightly different reasons.

She turned around and Heero was bending the metal in half with his teeth.

They must've hit a rock.

That was her thought,

when,

a whole corner of the trailer went flying up into the air, when there was a snarled sound of metal on something even harder, something scraping sharp and loud. She was jolted through the air, hitting the hard part of the saddle with the side of her face. She let out a bark of pain. They didn't stop. The horses were dancing quick steps, shrieking their displeasure as they fought to stay upright. The terrain was different now, so much different, as Relena grasped hold of the nearest horse's saddle and held on tight.

"You okay?" Heero called out, from the other side of the other horse. She hadn't gone under, which was about as much as she could hope for with her hands tied together. It seemed as if Heero had, or maybe he'd – it didn't matter. He was fine. Where the hell were they? North, Heero had said, but –

"Yes," she called back. Wherever they were now must be why he brought the off-road vehicle. How long had they been driving for? She had no doubt that Heero knew down to the nearest ten seconds. The trailer was now bouncing with every movement, the tilting impossible to anticipate; she was putting all her energy into staying upright, into not falling under the horses and their frantic steps. It was hard to hear anything outside of the howling of the wind through the gaps in the walls, the shrill whinnies of the horses, and the revving of the engine. "Heero?" Relena called out again, wanting him closer to her.

"I'm here," he said, from right behind her. She turned and found him holding on to the same saddle. Her breath left her lungs, grateful. She liked him close.

"I hate this," she groused, and Heero…smirked.

"Not our first rodeo."

She raised an eyebrow. "Rodeo? Goodness. Montana is rubbing off on you."

He stared into her eyes for a beat. "Something like that."

She took a quick breath and looked at his hands. "You didn't get the cuffs off."

"No," he said, frowning. "I lost the underwire."

She wanted to take a moment to point out the ridiculousness of it: trained Preventer, former Gundam Pilot, and he was using her underwire, for crying out loud, but, she imagined he'd spent a good enough time considering the various possibilities.

"Well, lucky for us, I've got two breasts," she sighed, turning her back on him again.

The second go around was easier. Or it would have been had the terrain been any flatter. Instead they lurched and stepped out of the way of horse's hooves, and Relena was starting to consider more and more the idea of just getting on one, even though she'd have to lean all the way over the horse's neck just to avoid smacking her head against the ceiling.

"Got it."

She whipped her head around, in time to see Heero free one of his arms. The thick, heavy cuff, spanning half her forearm, dangled from the arm he still had shackled. Hope sprung eternal.

"Well?" she asked, hoisting her arms towards him. He looked at them for a moment, then at her face. There was…a pause.

Her mouth popped open. "Heero."

"I'm thinking."

"You're – " she winced as they hit something particularly large, the back corner bouncing over something bigger than the tire, both horses slamming to the front. Which would've been fine, except, Heero and Relena were standing between the horses, and, they were in the way of their momentum.

They were pinned between them, both crying out as two thousand pounds of muscle slammed into their either side. The horses didn't like the close confines any better, and as soon as the hurdle was passed, they sprung apart, prancing as much as possible, shrieking their terrible whine.

"Oh I am over this," Relena fumed, voice gasping a quick breath, gritting her teeth. "Heero, unlock these. We're going to figure out how to get out of here, and then we're going back to the farm."

"You don't even know where we are."

"I don't, but you do. You could get us back even in the dark."

His silence confirmed it.

"Let me out."

"I – " he started to say. "I have a plan, and it works better if you don't have to pretend to still be cuffed."

"Have to pre – Heero! I can," her ribs hurt, and she winced. "I can do that."

He looked at her steadily. "You're a terrible liar."

Her nostrils flared, a little. "Heero Yuy. I demand you let me out of these handcuffs this instant."

"Or you'll…"

"Or I'll," she started, mind blank. "Or I'll – come up with something really rude to do later."

His smile splashed then, and her stomach warmed at the sight of it. He probably would have laughed under other circumstances.

But, she never quite got to hear it. Didn't hear the plan, didn't get the handcuffs off, none of it.

The vehicle ahead of them jolted against something yet again, but this time, there was the sudden and unmistakable sound of something bursting, followed by the grinding sound of metal on metal on rocks. The trailer lurched forward, veered left and right, Relena clutching tight to the saddle again, Heero clutching tightly to the saddle and to her.

The trailer slid to a stop.

Relena and Heero looked at each other.

"You have a plan?" she asked him, quiet.

"Kind of."

She took a shuddering breath. "Well, better than I have. You'd think I'd be better at being kidnapped by now."

He snorted. Then, he sobered, standing straight to fix his cuffs. "Maybe. You'd think I'd be better at rescuing you."

"Heero…"

They both heard the sound of a car door opening, the way Evan was cursing as he walked around the vehicle, the tremor of things as he apparently shook the front wheel spoke, which seemed to have maybe actually shattered.

"Get ready," Heero murmured, as Evan started walking around the trailer, and Relena wasn't sure what she was actually supposed to do.

"Get back!" Evan shouted, on the other side of the trailer doors now. Relena held her breath. "Get the fuck back."

Heero didn't move. He was just a few steps from the end of the trailer.

"You think I can't see your fucking feet? I said get back! Or I start firing!"

Relena cut her glance over, saw Heero frown, take the few steps back toward the front of the trailer. Relena did the same. She wished he'd taken the time to uncuff her.

"I'm going to open the door now," Evan said, voice heavy. "You try any shit, Heero Yuy, I shoot her first."

That made Heero pause. She saw it, in the way he straightened, the tightening of his jaw. The way his shoulders tensed, just a fraction.

The doors opened. It was still dark out, and the cold hard wind blew full force into the trailer now.

"Get out!" Evan barked. "Girl first."

She wasn't sure she could remember the last time anyone had called her girl. She chose to ignore it. Heero had a plan. He did. He had to.

Relena hid her frown as she walked forward. She wasn't sure she needed him to grab her like that, the way he did, as soon as she was within reach just so he could yank her the rest of the way out.

She felt the barrel of the gun against the side of her head and stopped thinking at all.

"Great. Great, okay. You, you are going to get out the horses."

Heero barely seemed to be hearing him. He was looking at her, the whites of his eyes visible in the cavern of the trailer. He had a plan. She was ready for his plan now.

Heero did as he was told. Evan kept stepping back, giving Heero a wide berth, giving the horses a wide berth. Again, she didn't recognize them. Maybe it was just dark. Maybe she had a gun on her head. One bullet. One single flinch of his fingers, and it would be, it would be over. Oh my god.

And then she lost track of Heero. He was moving the horses out, and then he was gone, and it was maybe only Evan's barked expletive that alerted her to the fact that it was most likely on purpose.

Evan held the gun in the air and fired it.

Again, the only sound it made was a slight pop.

But it was unmistakable. It was worse, than the echoing explosion she was used to in films.

"Gun's back on the girl Agent Yuy!" and it was, this time thrust under her chin, pushing her face up painfully. The barrel broke her skin. "You underestimate how much I care about whether I take her alive!"

The horses drifted apart, anxious, their steps high. Heero could be seen between them, now, his hands apart, hanging at his sides. Relena didn't want to be looking at him, but couldn't bring herself to look anywhere else. Her neck hurt, from the angle, from the way she was straining to get away, even as Evan held her in place. He almost laughed. "Well look at you? Who knew you were such a fuckin' boy scout, huh?" His cold chuckle. "Do I want to fucking know? You know what. Nah.

"Agent Yuy, I'm afraid this is where your journey ends."

Relena became…absolutely…still.

"Ends?" Heero's mild, disinterested voice. The empty cuff was swinging in the wind.

Relena's eyes went wide.

"Yes. You see, I wasn't expecting you to begin with." The gun was making it hard to sustain eye contact, but she was trying, she was really trying, to look at Heero. To try and communicate, to figure out what she was supposed to do. "A rather pleasant surprise, but, I'd just planned on needing the two horses, you see, and unfortunately for you, your employer doesn't pay ransoms."

A cold feeling was starting in Relena's feet. Maybe the back of her calves. They were cold already, the wind furiously whipping at her, at her dress, at her hair. But this feeling was different. This feeling was – what was – only two horses – doesn't pay ransoms – this is where your journey – the gun, the fucking gun – Her eyes were wide and watering with the wind. "Don't," she whispered, attempting to swallow.

"Don't?" Evan asked, shaking her a little, probably just because he could. The world was opening up beneath her. Her skin was cold. She couldn't stop trying to stare at Heero.

"Don't kill him."

That's what this was, wasn't it? He didn't need him. She needed to – she needed to – oh god – she needed to witness this. She needed to be his witness, she needed to be looking at him because if she wasn't then it wasn't real, none of it was real –

Evan snorted, shoved her forward. "Get on the horse."

The relief at not having the gun so close to her skull was nothing. He was still close to her, close to Heero. She took the nearest horse, which was barely settled enough to allow Relena to take the saddle. It was awkward and uncomfortable with her hands tied. She managed, one eye on Heero, one ear waiting for the pop of the gun –

"Good."

Relena turned her gaze to him, unsure what she would do if –

Evan was squinting at Heero.

"Hey," he said. "Hey wait a minute."

Why wasn't Heero doing anything? Didn't he have a plan? She should do something. She should use this damn horse and just run him –

Evan turned to her. "He's the guy, isn't he?"

The coldness in her legs spread up, quick as an oncoming storm.

"What?"

Cold laughter, and a pitying little tilt of his head. The gun was on Heero now, his attention shifting between the two of them. Just move the horse. Just move the horse forward. She just couldn't get her legs – couldn't move at all – "Oh my god," he continued. "This guy. This guy." He turned to Heero, pointed the gun at Relena instead. "So, Seth is a talker. A big talker. And he's a pathetic drunk. Two beers in on a Friday night and he'll literally tell you whatever you want."

Relena looked at Heero. She wanted to shout something, but her mouth wasn't working, she wanted to tell him to run, wanted to –

"And a year ago we're out in town, and Seth is crying like a baby over this girl here, who won't return his affections. And then he starts to really blubber, when he tells me all about how she got – "

"No," Relena whispered, pale. She was barely aware she'd said anything at all. But she couldn't – "Stop."

Another cold laugh. "This is too good!" He turned to Heero. "She was pregnant, man! Gets here in the dead of winter, big as all hell, has a fucking miscarriage all over the bathroom floor." He smacked his knee, laughing some more. The gun is shaky in his hand, wavering, and neither of them can reclaim the advantage – "It was yours, man! And look at you! Ha! Look at your fucking face! I bet you didn't even know. That's some tough shit." He looked at Relena, triumphant. "Who knew you had it in ya, huh? Who knew fucking Queen Relena Peacecraft could be such a stone cold bitch. Look at him. He didn't even fucking know, did he."

Relena couldn't say anything. Her lungs were working too hard to supply her brain with necessary oxygen, she was trying too hard to look at and not look at Heero, who looked completely stricken, stock still, his hands loose, his gaze distant.

No, she wanted to shout, no it's not true, none of it's true but – oh god, she couldn't, her mouth wouldn't –

"Stone cold," Evan murmured again, keeping his gun trained on Heero as he approached the other horse. "Shit it would be too cruel to kill ya. Look at you. Ha. Look at you! Couldn't keep your kid safe. Couldn't keep your girl safe, couldn't do shit."

Heero came to in a flash, his gaze blaring up at Evan, who'd taken the saddle. It seemed to register, because the glee seemed to drain from Evan's eyes, a little.

"Whatever. Won't matter anymore. We'll be long gone by the time you even make it back to the house." He wrangled the reins off of Relena's horse, slipped it around his wrist. "It's at least eight miles. You won't be there until noon, ha."

And with a kick of his heels, Relena and Evan jolted into the darkness.

.

.

It was all processing too fast in his head.

He'd had a plan. He always had a plan. He had several, just in case something went wrong. There were always more variables than he could account for, though he usually got the most important ones. The only constant was they always had something to say before they went quietly (they never went quietly), but, he'd always been able to ignore them (because usually it was about money), and really he should have known that this time, because it was all about Relena, that he couldn't plan for nearly enough, but… But…

It was all processing too fast in his head.

He didn't know what to be sad about first. Was it true? It was true. The little words from her mouth – no. stop. – that was true. A kid. A fucking kid. Heero dug his hands into his hair. He'd known he was missing something – he'd fucking known – he hadn't – this hadn't – That she'd left him for this, that she couldn't tell him this, that she went through it alone, that she wouldn't let him know, that she lost, that she, that – It was too much, almost, and maybe it was the only thing in the god damn world which would have thrown him more than just seeing the barrel of a gun so close to her face.

That was the problem. That was his problem, because he'd never been able to think rationally, to act rationally, to be good at this when her life was on the line. If the gun was pointing at him alone? Evan would be fucking dead by now. Or Heero would be. But this was – this was – Shit! He needed to calm down. Heero took a too-quick breath. He took another. He… He forced his hands to relax. He forced his shoulders to move down.

This. This was how…how he knew he'd gotten older, how he'd…matured. This was his reminder that he was human, capable of feelings like love or devotion, because all the sacrifices in the world were allowable except the one that got her killed. A kid. Their kid. Too much.

Part of him, part of the very absurdly rational part of him, knew Evan would keep her alive, despite his threat. She was worth a hell of a lot more being alive and difficult, than compliant and dead, so, his chances were good. They were good. But he fucking needed help. He needed his fucking gun, and a bulldozer, and his fucking god damn Gundam, because he wanted to use excessive, Geneva convention-shattering force against this guy.

It was eight miles to the house.

Evan thought it would take him all morning.

Evan had no fucking idea who he was dealing with.