Disclaimer

I own nothing but what I write. All intellectual properties belong to their respective owners, that is Oomori Fujino owns Dungeon ni Deai o Motomeru no wa Machigatte Iru Darou and Fate Grand Order is owned by Type-Moon, Delightworks and Sony.

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AN: More advertising trickery and just plain fun. I will get back to the humour a bit later as I need these chapters to set the scene to progress the story, but hopefully I can squeeze a giggle or two in there somewhere.

Reinkashi:- Yes she does but right now her one job is to make Hestia familia the best damned familia in the whole world, not just Orario. Oh, and save the world if needed as well.

Shirosaki Kizuro and angelicayapine:- Bell and Ais will take a long winded, backward route to getting together. Even their lemons are going to be sour! So there will be a while yet before they get together. Expect more running though!

Jose19:- Hestia prefers to consider it family foods as opposed to fast foods! Lol but now that the business juggernaut has started rolling it will only get bigger. Expect more shit to infect the DanMachi world.

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Please read & review as I appreciate any comments made

Fate Grand Disorder

Chapter 12 – Monsterphilia

Bell had been excited all week. Not just because the annual Monsterphilia festivities was coming up but also because Yan Qing had been happy about his combat 'basics' so had allowed for Assassin Jack the Ripper to train him in the art of knife fighting. Especially now that Hestia had purchased a new knife for Bell. Assassin Hassan of the Serenity or Serenity for short was to be his teacher in the art of throwing daggers so he would also have some ranged options. Her skills as well as Jack's surprised Bell and just like Yan Qing, he realised they were not your average level ones. His admiration for them grew again.

What really had Bell excited however was that when he went to get his status updated by goddess Hestia he had found out that not only had his stats grown exponentially but that he also had gained a magic spell, 'Firebolt'. It was a quick cast, unenchanted combat spell which suited him perfectly. He had been dying all week to try it out in the dungeon but like previously, he was not allowed to go back until either Serenity or Jack were happy with his knifing skills.

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Da Vinci watched on proudly at her machine's maiden voyage. Lifting up from where it was assembled it took to the sky and slowly propelled itself towards the city of Orario. Her plans were coming along nicely as she had just negotiated a deal with the Goibniu familia to begin construction within her new territories soon. It had taken a while but she had managed to buy up a lot of land outside Orario. Her latest purchase included a block of land inside Orario on which sat an abandoned church. An eviction notice had already been sent. She felt a little guilty but she was sure she would be able to make it up to Hestia soon enough. She had plans for that piece of land and nothing was going to stand in the way of progress. Especially her progress.

The people of Orario stared up at the large, red, cigar-like object floating in the sky. It was coming closer and soon it hovered above them and floated there like some strange island in the sky.

Ais and Loki noticed the object in the sky and Ais seemed to shiver. Worry? Anger? Fear? Uncertainty? She didn't know what she felt when she looked up at the strange alien contraption floating above them. Then their eyes widened when an image appeared on the smooth surface of the strange blimp. They read it together in barely a whisper… "Enjoy Coke!"

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Bell and Hestia had had a busy morning already. Her stores were doing a roaring trade during the festivities, so with everything under control, Hestia had decided to take a stroll around and take in the sights of the festival. She flushed slightly and almost giggled to herself when she thought that maybe this could be counted as a date. Smiling she clung onto Bell's arm, wedging it between her ample bosoms. Bell, used to her antics, paid no attention as he simply smiled and took in the sights before him.

Everyone was looking up, so out of curiosity, Bell and Hestia turned their eyes skyward. Hestia could only smile as she was starting to no longer get surprised by the antics of her new children, especially when it concerned a certain Caster Leonardo Da Vinci. The image on the blimp changed and she read out loud, "It's McHestia time!" followed moments later by "HFC… It's finger lickin good!"

"So this is what Caster meant by free advertising." Her child sure was resourceful.

She continued watching the airship for a while as it displayed the weather then screenshots of the crowd, then a big 'Welcome to Monsterphilia' message before it suddenly showed a close up of Hestia clinging onto Bell. She grinned happily at her own image and waved at it watching as the image reflected her own actions and waved back. Bell, shyly raised his hands and gave a curt nod as well.

Her small moment of peace was interrupted by a blood-curdling scream and as one Bell and Hestia turned to the direction it had come from.

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Ever since a couple of weeks ago Loki had become seriously wary of Hestia and her children. Especially of that Bell Cranel who seemed to be able to elicit strange reactions out of her favourite child, Ais Wallenstein. Loki had even tried wearing a white wig around her in the hopes that Ais would react in the same way, but it never worked. She had gone so far as to ban interactions between the two familia, well as much as she could anyway, barring accidentally meeting them. The fact was that barely a month ago, Hestia was destitute and living in a run-down church, working for a Jagamarukun store to make ends meet with no familia to her name. Then Bell had joined her and then in the space of one night, she had gained fifty one more children out of nowhere.

Normally the numbers wouldn't mean much to her but after hearing strange rumours of Hestia familia dissecting live monsters, watching Gareth get beaten in an arm wrestle by a level one Hestia familia member and Bete being out drunk by another she began to wonder.

Now Hestia had an up and coming business venture going and watching that big floating 'thing' in the sky advertising all of Hestia's shops and products, she had even more cards to show or even more secrets to be revealed. This did not sit well with Loki. To her, Hestia was always someone she made fun of and would tease mercilessly but was no threat to her. Now, she couldn't take a step in the city without coming across a Hestia product, her name or her children.

Even her children were an oddity. They were human for sure, or at least mostly human. Yet they felt powerful and exuded confidence and ability beyond what any level one adventurer should be capable of. Her investigations within the guild only reported what had been reported to them and indeed they were all level one. She had no reason to disbelieve that as she knew Hestia wasn't one to lie or be able to tell a lie without being instantly found out.

She groaned as the image in the sky changed to a smiling Bell and Hestia arm in arm, waving at them. Hestia's big smile and Bell's shy grin beaming at them from the sky above. "Show off." Loki complained.

"It's him," she heard Ais whisper.

Quickly she put a hand over Ais' eyes and almost yelled, "Don't look! Eyes off the boy!" Letting her hand drop she moved Ais' chin to face her own, "Look at me! Look at me! Remember what I said, the boy is nothing but a playboy, a pervert and the enemy of all women! You are too pure and innocent to fall for his charm!"

She was sure that was what it was. It was the only reasonable explanation for Ais acting so out of character around the boy. It must've been a spell or magic ability, charm, just like the goddess Freya had and it seemed to her that Ais had fallen under it even when Freya's charm failed to even move Ais, which made him logarithmically more dangerous.

The moment was interrupted however by a loud, monstrous roar followed by screaming from the crowd before Bete landed before them. "Some monsters have gotten loose and are rampaging around the city!"

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