Raki

I sat by the pond in the royal gardens. The sun was warm on my back and a light breeze ruffled my hair. Turtle ducks swam about, the little ones chasing their mother. This place was peaceful and quiet, a refuge from the bustle of the palace. I lay back and stared up at the sky. It was blue, a few clouds floated serenely on, but not many. I understood why Zuko loved this place so much. My eyelids grew heavy, and I let sleep overtake me.

Truthfully, I hadn't slept much since I returned to the palace. The bed was comfortable enough, but I kept reaching out for her… for Azula. She was always so warm, the bed seemed cold without her, despite the thick blankets. I just lay awake, rolling onto my side expecting her to be just within arms reach. She never was.

I thought that I could forget, but even when Ty Lee cuddled close, all I could feel was the wrongness of her body against mine. She was too thin, too flexible, too soft. She used to fit perfectly, I couldn't understand why everything changed so quickly. Ty Lee used to soften my edges and I used to love her with all my heart.

In my dreams, it was Azula pressed against me, sound asleep or holding my hand. It was Azula who I thought about- no, dreamed about- kissing. I remembered every touch, every inflection of her voice, every look she'd ever given me from the frigid death glare, to a soft, loving gaze. Ty Lee used to be intoxicating, a dangerous drug I couldn't get enough of, but now she wasn't.

Granted, Ty Lee seemed to have grown up while I was away. She was quieter than before, and there was a stiffness in her usually flexible posture that I could only identify as grief. Her smiles weren't quite as bright as before, her eyes just a little more sad. Then again, she was still the optimist, ever smiling and laughing, looking at me with that unfailing adoration that told me how much she cared. Her eyes lit up whenever she saw me, as if I was still her perfect man.

What would she do if she knew what I had done? Would she cry if I told her I'd kissed and cuddled and made love to another woman? A woman who was more dangerous than Ty Lee would ever be. A woman who hadn't known what love really was till I showed her. A girl who wasn't quite sane all the time. The girl, in fact, who had been Ty Lee's unrequited best friend. The girl who had broken her heart.

I had seen Ty Lee go down to the catacombs underneath the palace and come out with tear stains on her cheeks. There were a lot of dead people down there, all of the royal family, except those who died in the war who couldn't come home in time. I had been down there three times in my life. The first time was at Azula's fake funeral. The second was with Ty Lee after the fact. The third was recently. The place itself was a maze, the further you went into them the older the urns got. They were beautiful things, but the contents, human ashes, never ceased to make me shiver. Zuko says that Ty Lee goes every day to talk to Azula's urn. Though, whose ashes were really in there, I couldn't tell.

Perhaps I could have forgotten all about Azula with time, but one person made that impossible. Azula II, the Fire Lord's bastard two-year-old daughter, was the spitting image of her aunt which I found frightening. There was almost doubt that Katara was really her mother, except for the witnesses of her pregnancy and birth which was a mess unto itself. The little girl was as intelligent as someone ten years older than her it seemed. She plotted and scemed about as well as her aunt had been rumored too during the war. The little beast made her displeasure at my presence known. She hated me and I could never tell why. She just stared at me with those frighteningly familiar golden eyes and wouldn't let up until I looked away. She was always with Ty Lee. She loved her so much and Ty Lee obviously loved her very much in return, but why she had to cling to her 'auntie' 24/7 I have no idea.

Azula II had a way of staring into my soul every time I lied. Somehow, she knew I was lying like Toph did. She made a point of burning me when I told Ty Lee I loved her, a lie, and she knew it. She knew everything.

Zuko just looked concerned when I said something about his creepy daughter and almost laughed at me. He told me to go sit out by the pond and relax. He said it was peaceful and my head might clear after spending some time out there alone.

He was right about it being relaxing, I slept like a baby. But when I woke, I found a pair of golden eyes staring at me. I started and sat up, before recovering my wits enough to reprimand the little girl.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, my heart racing uncomfortably from terror. She cocked her head to the side and smiled, a false, innocent smile.

"Watching you," She said, sitting down and crossing her legs. "You were very asleep."

"Yeah, I was," I grumbled.

"Look," She said, her face conveying a seriousness I hadn't yet seen on her. "I know you don't like me, but I can tell something is up with you." She pointed at me, her tiny forefinger directly over my heart. "You lie to Auntie all the time and that's mean. She's so nice and she loves you, so you should always tell her the truth. Daddy says I should always tell the truth, especially to the people I love, especially if I did something wrong."

"It's more complicated than that…" I looked her in the eye, trying and failing to win that staring contest. She won easily. I looked away. "I don't want to hurt your 'auntie' any more than you do."

"Then say the truth. Lies don't work cause they get big and bigger and then you forget what you said and the truth gets told anyway." She advised, her eyes never leaving my face. "If you really loved Auntie, you'd tell her the truth. So, I don't think you really love her at all."

"Of course I love her!" I exploded, making her flinch, but her eyes remained steady. I couldn't think of anything to say, how on earth did a two year old call me out on this? "You don't understand-" I started to say, but she held up a regal hand.

"I understand that Auntie knows you're lying deep down and that you are hurting her. She knows you would have tried to get off that island much, much sooner if you wanted to come back. You didn't." Azula took a deep breath that shook her tiny body. "I heard her talking to Aunt Mai and she started crying. She said she knew you were in love with someone else, with that girl on the island." A tear slid down her round cheek. "She cried so hard, Sifu Raki, I thought she'd never stop. So please, please, please, tell her the truth." Then she wiped away her tears, stood up, and left.

I stared at the pond for a long time after that. I didn't know what to do, but my heart ached in my chest. All I had done since I left that island was hurt two people I loved. That isn't right. I was so ashamed that it took a toddler to point it out. I really was an idiot. I happened to look up after a while only to see Ty Lee, a few yards away, sitting on one of the benches in the garden. She was all hunched up, her shoulders shaking with sobs. She was crying. Little Azula's words came back to me then, 'she cried so hard, Sifu Raki, I thought she'd never stop.'

Truth be told, I had never seen Ty Lee cry except at Azula's, my Azula that is, funeral. Mai had told me years ago that Ty Lee's feelings were easily hurt, but I guess I hadn't really realized it. She had always seemed so much tougher than she appeared. I got up, I had to go comfort her, but then I saw Mai walking toward her. She beat me there and Ty Lee didn't even notice me. I stopped just on the other side of the path and watched Mai touch Ty Lee's shoulder and embrace her and say all those comforting things she could muster. Ty Lee laid her head on Mai and cried all the harder. She was trembling with the force of her sobs and it killed me. I was the reason she was so broken inside. I was the reason.

I was the reason.

I started forward again, needing to do something, but Mai's glare stopped me in my tracks. Her arms were wrapped protectively around Ty Lee and she mouthed 'I will end you if you don't get out of here'. I nodded and backed away, feeling worse than ever. I could hear Ty Lee's sobbing now. I turned to go, but not before I heard her talk through her tears.

"Why am I so stupid?! I should have known he was fickle and mean like the rest of them!"

I closed my eyes tight to fight my own tears away. I opened them and saw little Azula looking from her aunts to me where her gaze rested. I walked up to her and knelt before her. She was crying too, big, round tears that coated her cheeks. I wiped them away as gently as I could.

"You were right, Azula. I need to tell Ty Lee the truth."