1/13/21

umbrageous

[ uhm-brey-juhs ]

adjective

apt to take offense.

1/12/21

bunkum

[ buhng-kuhm ]

noun

insincere talk; claptrap; humbug.

"Madam, your bunkum is showing," Hermione stated as soon as Umbridge ran out of inane small talk. The shorter woman had started up the moment Hermione had come through the Floo, trying to ingratiate herself and probably attempt to gain favor with her. Gringotts wasn't too happy with her at the moment, and so she was trying to suck up as much as she could to anyone that worked there that was human. Hermione had spent her first 5 years out of Hogwarts as part of Gringott's research division, and then trained to become a Curse Breaker after that, so she was a very integral part in Gringotts. Now, she spent her days researching and was only called in to Curse Break for particularly difficult jobs...and difficult clients.

Umbridge looked up at her words, before panicking for a moment, checking her wardrobe to make sure it was all in place. She then turned back to Hermione, who was referencing her planner.

"Hem hem."

"Yes Madam Umbridge?" Hermione asked without looking up. She made a note in her planner, waiting for the other woman to speak.

"Miss Granger-"

"Please, Madam Umbridge. I insist you call me Curse Breaker Potter. After all, I haven't worn the last name of Granger for a decade now," Hermione gently corrected. She looked up from her planner to flash her a grin. "Now, you hired Gringotts to remove a curse from your home, correct?" she asked, and Umbridge, while coloring at being corrected, nodded rapidly.

"Yes," she agreed with her fake girlish tone, "I discovered the curses this morning as I was getting ready for work, and didn't dare touch them." She led Hermione over to her dresser, which had a horsehair hair brush and a pearl comb on top. Everything else had been cleared away. Hermione furrowed her brow.

"May I?" and with Umbridge's nod, Hermione started casting diagnostics at the two items, her brow furrowing deeper as her spells progressed in intensity and diversity. "Hmm...I many not be able to break the curses here-"

"I knew it! Those creatures sent a Mudblood here to fail on purpose! No one wants to help me!" Umbridge cried out and Hermione had to take a deep breath to prevent herself from snapping at the woman. "Oh, get out! I knew it was useless!" Hermione smothered a snort from escaping before she straightened and put her wand away.

"Well, I was going to say I would have to take the brush and comb with me so we could break the curses in our ritual room, but if you would prefer they stay here with you, I can accommodate that too," Hermione said in a rush, already moving towards the door. "I will make sure that Gringotts is made aware of this fact, so your payment can come straight from your vaults-"

"Wait, wait wait!" Umbridge called out, hurrying after the brunette. Hermione's longer legs had almost brought her to the Floo, before she turned around to face the stout woman, the older woman panting in trying to keep up.

"Yes Madam Umbridge?" Hermione asked sweetly, her best 'customer service' smile on her face as she faced the foul woman. Umbridge straightened, opened her mouth to angrily say something, before changing her mind and taking a deep breath. Seemingly more composed, Umbridge put on her most sickeningly sweet smile and simpered.

"Miss-" She stopped at the look Hermione gave her. "Curse Breaker Potter. It would delight me if you could remove those cursed items from my home and bring a sense of normalcy back into my life." Umbridge looked like it physically hurt her to say those words, but she still said them, and when Hermione nodded after a moment, she seemed to deflate in relief.

"Of course, Madam Umbridge. We will send an owl when you can pick up your items once we have removed the curses from them," Hermione replied with a smile before moving back to the bedroom. She easily removed the cursed items and placed them in a lead lined box to ensure their effects couldn't escape. Coming back to the living room, Hermione put her fake smile back on as Umbridge nervously waited by the fireplace, her kitten plates all trying to meow at her in reassurance. "It is tragic that someone keeps trying to curse you. You must have made enemies some time in your life to have this keep happening to you year after year. And they're getting more frequent, aren't they?" Hermione pointed out. "The last one we have on record is three months ago, and you terrorized the last Curse Breaker they sent out to you." Hermione's countenance was hard now, and a cruel smile was plastered on her face. Umbridge's eyes bulged as she realized the current threat was now the witch in front of her. "If you inopportune any of my team again, I can promise you, Gringotts will no longer help you with your curse problem, and you will have to get help from the Aurors. Or at least from someone whom you haven't completely alienated yet. Have a good day, Madam," she finished, before stepping into the Floo with her acquired items in hand, the fireplace whirling green before swallowing her up.

Stepping out at Gringotts, Hermione let out the breath she was holding and grumbled, working the kinks out of her neck before handing the two objects off to the worker waiting for her.

"Thank you for dealing with her," came a small voice of the worker she handed the items off to. Hermione smiled gently at the Curse Breaker before her, the mousey boy new to the ranks of Gringotts, and who had gotten the short end of the stick with having to visit Umbridge. Hermione took pity on the poor boy, who had gotten screamed at by the Toad, that she had volunteered to go herself.

Minutes later saw her tidying up her office so she could leave for the day, and a quick knock at her door saw her looking up to find her husband leaning against the door frame with a smirk on his face. "Was the Toad as horrendous as she usually was?" he asked with a grin.

Hermione couldn't help but laugh in agreement. "I think she's gotten worse. Her insincere small talk was atrocious and jumped to conclusions too quickly. Umbridge is so umbrageous and thinks everything is out to get her." Harry smothered his growing grin.

"But dear, everything is out to get her! It's called karma," he replied innocently, and Hermione rolled her eyes.

"One of these days, one of those curses is going to kill her, and then you'll be brought in to investigate how," she threatened. Harry scowled at her.

"I still don't know why the Auror force insists on having me on retainer. I'm a spell crafter! I'm not a cop!" He grunted in exasperation, prompting a giggle from Hermione.

"Just because your father is Head Auror-"

"Anyway, you ready to go home?" Harry interrupted, prompting another giggle from Hermione, who nodded. "Good. I think Draco said that Jameson was starting to get bratty."

"So that means we're stopping for dinner on the way home, Mr. Potter?" Hermione insinuated, stepping closer to her husband to hold him, a grin on her face. Harry grinned back at her, unable to stop the small laugh that dropped from his lips.

"And make Draco deal with our hellion of a son longer than needed? Why of course, Mrs. Potter!" And he kissed her grinning mouth far longer than needed.