Chapter 10
"Get your hands off her," a voice barked from nearby startling both Elizabeth and Darcy.
Glancing toward the noise, Elizabeth let out a delighted cry of, "Richard!" and went to step towards him, but Darcy, her hand on his arm, his own hand covering it, stopped her.
"Richard," Darcy said coolly, greeting his cousin with less warmth then normal.
"Maybe you didn't hear me the first time," Col. Fitzwilliam said, his eyes narrowed, his tone cold, "Get your hands off of Lizzy."
Tugging her hand free, Elizabeth skipped towards Col. Fitzwilliam and said, "What has you in such a foul mood?"
Grasping both her hands in his, in greeting, he responded with a smile for her, "Tales of some unworthy oaf insulting you."
"And you have come to avenge my honor?" Elizabeth teased, raising an eyebrow.
"I must. I have also heard tales about a suitor sniffing around your skirts."
"I'd rather not think of Mr. Collins as a suitor. You are a bit late on that one. My supposed suitor has been given his conge by Lady Catherine herself. And as far as your cousin's insult, Mr. Darcy as already apologized."
"Mr. Collins? That buffoon at Longbourn? He had the nerve to believe he was worthy of being a suitor for your hand? He has more affront then William here."
"Thank you Richard," Darcy said dryly. "What is it to be, pistols at dawn?"
"Fistcuffs will suffice, " Col. Fitzwilliam responded his tone dry.
Elizabeth rolled her eyes and said, "Is it safe to enter the house, or has mama's nerves been given free reign?"
"I rode ahead on horseback. Henry shouldn't arrive until later. Your father introduced me merely as his dear friend's brother. He is saving the fireworks until Henry is here to enjoy them with him. I would say you have another hour or two before chaos breaks free."
"Perhaps I should petition the party at Netherfield for sanctuary. This is afterall Lady Catherine's fault," Elizabeth said wryly.
"An excellent idea Miss Elizabeth," Darcy agreed warmly.
"Absolutely not," Col. Fitzwilliam barked in his drill ground voic, with a glare at his cousin. Then in a softer tone, he added to Elizabeth, "I have some catching up to do with my cousin amd have decided that Bingley's household will be hosting me tonight."
Narrowing her eyes in a mock glare, Elizabeth teased him saying, "Coward. You can face Napoleon's troops on the battlefield, but a bout of my mother's nerves has you turning tail and running?"
"To my own battlefield. Netherfield may see its own bloodshed tonight," Richard said with another glare towards Darcy.
Seeing it Elizabeth said, "I forgave Mr. Darcy so you have to as well, Richard."
"We shall see princess. Now allow me, your godbrother" Col. Fitzwilliam said stressing the term and holding out his arm, "to escort you the rest of the way to Longbourn."
"Mr. Darcy, thank you for your escort," Elizabeth said warmly before taking Richard's proffered arm.
"William is not dismissed yet. He can come on along and guide me back to Netherfield," Richard said as they started walking.
"Naturally Richard. Afterall I have no intentions of leaving until I see Miss Elizabeth safely all the way home. She is afterall my responsibility," Darcy challenged his cousin.
"No, I do not believe she is."
"I'm sorry you both find me such a chore," Elizabeth said sarcastically.
"I did not mean it like that Miss Elizabeth," Darcy assured her.
"I know you didn't sir, but this one," she said indicating Col. Fitzwilliam, "has of late, gotten some strange notions in his head."
"Perhaps, if Richard, finds you such a chore, he should relinquish his responsibility, " Darcy said.
"Not bloody likely old chap," Col Fitzwilliam said.
…
As Col. Fitzwilliam and Darcy walked back towards Netherfield, leading the Colonel's horse, Darcy glanced repeatedly towards his cousin but was unwilling to be the one that broke the silence. Finally Col. Fitzwilliam said, "You sorry worthless prat William."
"May I ask which angers you more, my untrue insult to Miss Elizabeth, or the fact that I am now persuing her?" Darcy asked.
Smirking, Col. Fitzwilliam growled, "Both." Baring his teeth in a predatory smile he added, "And the best part is, she has no idea you are head over heels in love with her. What exactly are your intentions?"
"To marry her, that much should be obvious."
"Good," Col. Fitzwilliam said. After a moment of silence he added, "You had best keep your eyes and hands to yourself Darcy. I won't take it lightly if you act anything less then a complete gentleman with Lizzy."
"I have no intentions of treating Miss Elizabeth with less then the respect she deserves," Darcy said, his tone offended.
"Then stop staring at her like a starving man offered a feast fit for a king. It's bloody unnerving. She is practically my sister!"
"I had not realized I was doing so," Darcy said stiffly.
"Well you were. So stop."
The silence once again stretched. This time Darcy broke it saying in exasperation, "Just hit me already Richard! I was an ass. It is about time someone made me physically pay for my cruel remark. Elizabeth is so much more then tolerable and tempts me more than a man should have to bear."
Col. Fitzwilliam shook his head and said, "Nah, I think you are doing a marvelous job mentally beating yourself up over how you said such a hurtful, unkind, cruel thing to someone who did not deserve it."
Darcy glared at his cousin. Col. Fitzwilliam merely shrugged and said, "You do realize you are not worthy of her, don't you?"
"I do," Darcy said quietly, "but I hope to win her anyways and try to be worthy of her."
"Then perhaps you are worthy of her. I couldn't bear to see her married to someone who did not properly value her."
…
As Col. Fitzwilliam and Darcy stepped into Netherfield's front foyer, Lady Catherine was descending the stairs. Upon seeing her nephews, she said, "Richard, how kind of you to join us. William, did you see Lizzy safely home?"
"I did aunt, and came across Richard as we happened upon Longbourn," Darcy answered.
"Well I see you are still in one piece William."
"The day is not over yet Aunt," Col. Fitzwilliam pointed out grinning.
"The boy apologized, if Lizzy is inclined to forgive him, I am willing to overlook it. Now where is my parson?"
"Excuse me?" Col. Fitzwilliam ask.
"Mr. Collins. I instructed him to attend me. Did you forget him at Longbourn?"
"That creature is your parson? What were you thinking Aunt Catherine?" Col. Fitzwilliam demanded. "Do you wish for your peers to think you have gone senile, granting the living to that man?"
"Mind your tongue Richard," Lady Catherine said sharply.
"I believe Aunt Catherine, that the walk would have been too much for Mr. Collins and that he will arrive by carriage momentarily," Darcy intervened with before either would say something they would regret.
"Good. I do hate to be kept waiting," Lady Catherine said as she walked reagally into the parlor dismissing her nephews.
Moments later Mr. Collins was shown into her presence.
"My lady," Mr. Collins said with a deep bow.
"Mr. Collins, you are no longer to marry one of your cousins. I have found a much more suitable match for you. I recommend, to make sure this one goes off properly you allow me to direct you. You wouldn't want to be refused again."
"Of course your ladyship. And may I take this moment to humbly beg your pardon for mistakenly proposing marriage to my esteemed cousin Elizabeth? " Collins said groveling.
"That was a mistake, but things are going to work out just the way they should, now that I am here. Your bride will be Miss Caroline Bingley. She is a fitting bride for a man that will someday inherit an estate."
"I will begin courting her at once," Collins said eagerly.
"That will not do Mr. Collins. Did you not just agree you should be directed by me if things were to go correctly? "
"Yes, of course your ladyship."
"You will start by securing the approval of her brother-in-law Mr. Hurst. Tonight you will stay to dine here. You often have many wonderful compliments about the meals at Rosings. I suggest you find compliments about tonight's meal and share them with Mr. Hurst. I will be watching you, to see how you do. I will let you know of my approval and then you may solicit Mr. Hursts blessing on marrying Miss Bingley after the ladies withdraw. Be discrete and have a private word with Mr. Hurst. My nephews will be offend if you are loud or boastful about it. And under no circumstances are you whatsoever to make any overtures of courtship to Miss Bingley. Am I understood?"
Collins eagerly agreed to her decree. and just as eagerly adhered to it. He did not make a single courting overture towards Miss Bingley that night. His patroness was well pleased.
After giving Mr. Collins her opinion on various inconsequential things Lady Catherine had Miss Bingley summoned. Upon Miss Bingley's arrival in the room Lady Catherine began her assault on the woman's sensibilities. After having disparaged her thoroughly, Lady Catherine deemed her angry enough to not be wise. Lady Catherine announced that her parson would be staying to dine that evening. With a glance towards the clock she observed that dinner would be served in an hour and a half. Declaring herself in need of a rest, she ask Miss Binley, in a challenging tone, "Do you think, Miss Bingley, that you are capable of entertaining my parson, my personal spiritual advisor, in the manner befitting an acomplished hostess and Mistress of a great estate, in my absence? "
Miss Bingley in her anger did not see the trap, and foolishly concluded that this was to be a test for the position of Mistress of Pemberly. Simmpering she eagerly agreed and set to making herself agreeable to Mr. Collins zealously.
...
That evening at the dinner table Mr. Hurst found an agreeable companion in Mr. Collins. The parson, it turned out, enjoyed a good dish just as much as Mr. Hurst did. By the end of the meal the two were fast friends and Mr. Hurst pronounced Collins to be a capital fellow. Lady Catherine was prepared for this and before the ladies withdrew nodded to her . Fitzwilliam claiming he had much cathcing up to do with his cousin, excused him and Darcy to the billards room, intending his own through interrogation and informed the ladies they would not be attending them in the drawing room. Darcy, despite being a favorite cousin, would be subjected to the same rigorous questions any suitor would receive from the colonel, now that he had calmed down and gotten over his initial bad humor. The more he thought about it, the more he felt Darcy was the perfect solution to Elizabeth marrying.
Mr. Collins mindful of his instructions, sought the approval of Mr. Hurst, a gentleman he now esteemed, for Miss Bingley's hand. Mr. Hurst enthusiasticaly endorsed his suit and offered to put in a good word with Mr. Bingley on the parson's behalf.
…
In the drawing room Lady Catherine requested a quiet word with Miss Bingley. Anne and Mrs. Jenkison had made sure to distract Mrs. Hurst. Alone with her prey, Lady Catherine offered an observation about how well the meal had gone, stating that it appeared Miss Bingley would be managing her own household rather then her brother's one day soon. Preening, Miss Bingley thanked her for the compliment. Lady Catherine, careful to avoid the use of names, ask Miss Bingley if the match was to her liking? Miss Bingley assured her that it was entirely to her satisfaction. Lady Catherine next suggested if that was the case, a letter should be dispatched to her brother, so that the settlement papers Lady Catherine had prepared could be signed and filed. In addition to having an announcement placed in the Times. When Miss Bingley hesitated, Lady Catherine assured her that this was how the groom preferred to arrange things, by having one as close to him as herself, oversee the matter, and that he intended to remain reserved until things were official. Smiling triumphantly Miss Bingley agreed. Lady Catherine suggest she include a short note stating that the betrothal was to her liking, just to reassure her brother, since gentlemen could be funny about that sort of thing. Lady Catherine offered to assist her with the note, reminding her how the gentleman in question would prefer her to be discrete at this time. Miss Bingley, with an elegant hand wrote to her brother.
Dear Charles,
The betrothal Lady Catherine has arranged for me meets with my whole hearted approval and I beseech you to sign the settlement papers Lady Catherine has provided as quickly as possible and to arrange for the announcement in the times.
Your contented sister,
Caroline Bingley
Satisfied with her sucess, Lady Catherine bid Miss Bingley to retire and promised to send the packet to Mr. Bingley by special courier that night. By midday the next day, Miss Caroline Bingley was officially engaged to Mr. Willam Collins, all the necessary documents having been signed. It was legal and binding. The following day, the announcement ran in the Times.