Memories of a stranger, Chapter 11
/
Jay didn't know how much time had passed before he woke up again. He noticed that he was no longer in his room, but that his bed had apparently been rolled into some hallway. There was no one to be seen. At least, however, the pain was gone.
"Hello?", he called out.
Then, Will came out of one of the adjacent rooms. He was holding some X-rays in his hand.
"You're such a stubborn idiot!", he snapped at him, coming over to the bed. "Do you know what you did there?", he tapped him on the chest and Jay winced. "You could have permanently damaged the tissue and nerves around the swelling!"
"What about Fiora? I don't care about anything else, Will!", Jay told him.
"Nothing is wrong with her! There was no one there!", Will replied and Jay breathed a sigh of relief. "Were you going to crawl into her room? Or what was your plan? To rip out your cannulas and crawl over there?"
Will was really angry and Jay knew he'd messed up. He never would have made it to her, of course he knew that, but he hadn't been able to hold back. He had to do something, he had to try.
"So, what now?", he asked.
"Now? Now I tell you that you got damn lucky again, you idiot!", Will ran his hand through his hair. "Dr. Rhodes told me that you were in pain when he came into your room. That meant, something changed. We did a CT scan and it looks like the swelling is finally going down. Next, we'll do an MRI."
Jay looked at him in surprise. "That means, it's getting better?"
"It means, that your action didn't damage anything. Now let's wait for the scans and then we'll do more tests this afternoon."
"Can I finally see her then?", he asked.
Will eyed him angrily, but then he finally nodded. "If the swelling continues to go down, then we'll start physical therapy. And yeah, then...then you can see her."
"Okay.", Jay nodded. "Good."
"I'll never understand you,", Will said, as he walked behind the bed and pushed him along. "One of these days, you're not going to be so lucky when you try to slam your head through a wall."
Jay didn't reply. For him, the most important thing right now was, that something was finally moving, that he was going to see Fiora and that he was getting out of here.
/
The tests had shown, that his body was indeed responding to stimuli again and that the nerve impulses were being passed on to his brain. So at least, he could slightly feel his legs again and if he tried hard, he could even move them a little. It was an immense relief to know, that he would soon not have to rely on the help of others for another few weeks.
In the meantime, Erin had sent him various information to his cell phone. They hadn't been able to trace where the flowers had been delivered from, but they were evaluating surveillance footage. However, the Receptionist had testified that a delivery truck had stopped in the driveway and it had not been Cayden, who had delivered the flowers. They were back to square one.
"You'll have your first Physio in the morning.", Will said, as he re-entered his room. "It's going to hurt, so be prepared for that."
"I don't mind", he replied. "And after the Physio -"
"Yes. I'll pick you up there and then I'll take you to her," Will interrupted him and then sat down. "Jay... You mustn't get your hopes up. She may never wake up again."
He lowered his eyes. "I know that. But I'm not ready to give up yet."
"I'm not saying that either,", he replied. "but please, be realistic. Are you prepared for what you're going to see?"
Jay had suspected for the last few days now, that Will had probably used the excuse that he shouldn't be moved so that he wouldn't be shocked at the sight of Fiora. When he had realized that Will had tried to keep him away from her, it had made him even angrier. Even if Will might have done it for his protection.
"I know how bad Mom looked, when she was hooked to the equipment.", he looked at Will again.
He was aware that he was hurting his brother with that sentence. Will hadn't been there, when their mother had finally died. Jay didn't know if he could ever forgive him for that. Will avoided his gaze and rose.
"I'll see you in the morning.", was all he said and then he left.
Jay turned his head and looked out the window. He didn't know if he was actually ready for the things that waited for him...
/
Physical therapy had actually been extremely painful and exhausting. The Therapist, a young woman named Megan, had put a lot of pressure on him. But she had also given him hope that he would soon be able to stand on his own two feet again. She was confident that he wouldn´t need any devices to steady himself very soon and that gave him strength, even though the training had pushed him to his limits, physically and mentally.
He was now back in a Wheelchair, waiting for Will to come by and pick him up. After a few minutes, he finally appeared and entered the room.
"How did he do?", he asked the Therapist, before greeting him with a light tap on his shoulder.
"Very well,", Megan replied. "I'll see you tomorrow then, Jay?"
"Two o'clock.", he nodded at her and Will released the brakes on the Wheelchair.
"I understand that you're not going to take my advice to go to therapy every other day?", he asked as they left the room.
"I want to get out of here as soon as possible.", Jay simply replied.
"I knew I could have saved my breath...", Will muttered, and they continued on their way in silence.
As they approached the Neurology ward, Jay's brother stopped in front of the Elevators and they waited, until they could go up. Jay glanced over his shoulder as he addressed Will again.
"I'm sorry." he said.
"About what?", Will continued to look at the Display above the elevator.
"What I said yesterday. About Mom."
"Okay."
"And that I've been such a pain in the ass and exhausting during the last few days.", he then added.
At last, Will walked around the wheelchair and looked at him. "You're always exhausting.", he then replied.
Jay snorted, but he decided to stay quiet. Then Will grinned and he knew that everything was fine between them.
/
Will nodded to the Police officer that was standing outside the hospital room, as he pushed Jay into the room, where Fiora was lying. By now, Jay's heart was pounding hard against his rib cage and he balked at seeing her in the condition that he feared.
The room was slightly darkened and only the screens next to the bed were brightly lit. They caught his eye first. He heard the ventilator working. Then, he saw her lying in the bed. She seemed somehow lost among all the equipment. Her face was almost unrecognizable under all the tubes and the tape, the band-aids and bandages... Then he realized that they had cut her hair. She wore a head bandage over the Surgical scars. Both hands had been covered with thick bandages, too.
Will pushed him up to the bed and set the brakes on the Wheelchair. Then he put a hand on his shoulder. The sight had shocked Jay even more, than he had previously thought.
"Can you leave me alone with her for a few minutes?", he asked his brother.
"Yeah, sure."
Jay heard Will move away. He looked at Fiora and then he propped his head in his hand. It was all much worse than he had thought. Carefully, he then placed his fingers on a free spot on her arm, that was not covered by bandages or IVs.
"Hello Fi...,", he said softly. "I'm sorry that I couldn't be here sooner."
He waited for some kind of reaction, he glanced at the screens, but nothing changed. Just the thought of her responding to his voice, was wishful thinking.
"Your mom and I have seen each other. And we write to each other, whenever we find out something new about you.", he continued. "It would be so nice, if you could be a part of our lives again."
Again, he stopped and his gaze rested on her pale, still face.
"I love you, I should´ve told you, when...", he whispered and his voice broke. He tried to fight down the tears that were welling up.
He feared that his brother would return at any moment or that the Officer at the door might hear him. It took all his willpower, not to break down at that moment...
/
A few weeks had passed since the accident and Jay had been back at work for a few days now. He visited Fiora regularly in the hospital, but unfortunately her condition had not changed so far.
Her external injuries had healed quite well and her hair was slowly growing back. Only her left hand was still in a bandage. But she had lost a lot of weight and he could almost no longer watch her Physical Deterioration. She was still being artificially fed and ventilated.
He had already spoken to Amelia several times on the phone and he continued to keep her informed about everything concerning Fiora's condition or about their further Investigation against Cayden.
Fiora's parents had given him a Power of Attorney, so that he could continue to receive information from the hospital and take care of things for them in Chicago, since Mr. Hillsen was also getting worse.
That morning, Amelia had texted him that they had to give up Fiora's apartment, because the cost of treatment at the hospital was beginning to exceed their budget. No one knew when or if she would wake up again and so the apartment had to be vacated, so they could at least save on rent.
Jay had driven to the apartment after work, which was still cordoned off as a crime scene. However, the Forensics investigation had long since been completed, so he cut the tape and unlocked the door.
Once Fiora's belongings would be gone, the apartment would be renovated and rented out again. He entered the rooms and looked around. He had agreed to help gather some personal belongings in advance, before the apartment would eventually be vacated by a company.
His eyes fell on the couch and the table, which clearly showed the traces of the explosion. There was a large, black burn mark on the ceiling and Fiora's dried blood could be seen on the couch. A little further away, on the floor by the outer wall, he recognized another blood stain... his blood.
A queasy feeling came over him and he hesitated. Where should he begin? He felt, as if he was invading her private space. His gaze fell on the bag that they had brought back from their trip to Wisconsin. Inside was her camera. He walked over and unzipped the bag. The camera lay on top. He took it out and turned it on. It was still charged, thankfully.
He searched the menu and discovered the photos from their trip to Wisconsin. He stopped for a moment and took in a deep breath, before he continued. Those had been his best days with her... He went into her bedroom and took the camera with him.
After taking a seat on the bed, he went through the pictures. She had taken some unnoticed photos of him and he liked them, because they were not posed. The nature shots she had taken of the area and of the garden were great. They showed what a talent she had. He felt tears welling up inside him. It was frustrating. She had been missing from his life for too long now. He pressed the button again to look at one last picture, before he would have to do something else, to distract himself.
The next photo showed him again... He was sitting at the end of the jetty by the river with his back turned to her. The sunrise bathed everything in a golden light. Next to him sat Wilson, Mr. Jenkins' dog. He immediately remembered that moment. He remembered how she suddenly stood behind him and how lovingly she had handled the dog. The photo gave him such a jolt, that he had to put the camera away. His gaze was lost and he ran his hand over his face.
The photo showed everything he had ever wanted for them both - and that they would probably never get...
/
"Halstead, come into my Office for a moment, please."
Jay raised his head and met Voight's gaze. He immediately recognized, that something was wrong. He rose from his chair and followed the Seargent. Voight stood in the doorway, let him pass and then he closed the door. That was never a good sign. He sat down.
"I just got a call from Homicide.", Voight began and he sat down as well. "They found a female body over in Pilsen tonight."
Jay tried to read what this was about from his Supervisor's facial expression, but seeing through Voight was difficult and he couldn't tell, why he had called him in. It was unusual for him not to announce new cases in front of everyone. His insides tightened involuntarily.
"The victim, Macie Hold, was 22 years old. The procedure," Voight continued. "the injuries, the manner of the killing, are very similar to the pattern of Harald Woods. The young woman could be Fiora in appearance. I think they´d searched for a look alike."
Jay stared at him and now it was Voight, who was watching his reaction closely. Jay was still trying to process the information that he had just heard.
"A Tablet was found with the body," the Sergeant continued. "There was only one file found on it. A video. Investigators first thought the video showed the kidnapping of the current victim, since cameras were found at the scene. But then they realized, that the person shown, was Fiora."
Jay's mind began to race. "What?" he asked in disbelief.
"A video of her first abduction."
"That was Cayden.", Jay then said immediately. "A message to us?"
Voight nodded. "A message to you. The Tablet was left in an envelope, addressed to you."
Jay swallowed dryly, as his heartbeat quickened. "What exactly does the video show?", he asked.
Voight hesitated, but Jay looked at him determinedly. He had to know.
"The attempted murder of Fiora," the Sergeant now said. "The last few minutes that Woods spent with her, before he left her behind."
"Before he left her to die.", Jay completed the sentence. "He only left her, because he assumed she wouldn't survive with a stab wound, that should have been fatal."
Voight nodded and it took all of Jay's willpower to stay calm. He was shocked, angry and concerned all at once.
"Has the Crime Scene been cleared yet?", he asked next.
"No. We can go there."
"Searge, we've got to find this bastard. Now," he said agitatedly.
"We will.", Voight replied with conviction.
Jay nodded and stood up. While the Sergeant informed the rest of the team, he remained standing in the doorway. Why had Cayden become so focused on Fiora and him? Why had another young woman to suffer and die?
Jay assumed that Cayden, as with the other murders, was not the perpetrator himself, but that he had merely wanted the video footage.
That meant that he had found someone, who had imitated Woods' act. Someone, who had completed the murder this time...
/
The days passed and their Investigation against Cayden was stuck in a dead end, despite the new incident. Cayden had disappeared again and there was no trace of Macie Hold's killer. Jay was just angry and frustrated that Cayden had managed to elude all Authorities and Law enforcement personnel and managed to stay underground. This made the twist, that awaited him that day, all the more surprising.
"We have Alexander Cayden!", Antonio exclaimed Antonio towards him. Jay had just entered the Office that morning and Antonio had come right up to him. "The Special Victims Unit in Minneapolis has got him. We're leaving right away."
"Are you serious?", he asked in surprise.
"A surveillance camera caught the License plate of a car registered to him. And one of his employees used a Credit card downtown. The others are already downstairs. Voight wants to take the two of us and Erin to the Airport."
His heartbeat quickened and he followed Antonio to the large hall at the back of the building.
"Is it true, Searge?", he asked excitedly, as he joined the rest of the Unit.
"The Special Victims Unit had a tip, that there was some kind of swap meet going on at the Hotel Ivy by this weekend... Something that's been making the rounds on the Darknet. The Colleagues then had all the video footage in the city checked for the identifying Features and Contacts, that we could connect to Cayden. And they had two hits right away. They just apprehended him at the hotel."
"When does our flight leave?"
"In two hours... Halstead, we have enough Circumstantial Evidence to link him to the kidnappings and to the murders. We have his fingerprints on the bomb. He's going to suffer in a hole for the rest of his life."
"I still want to talk to him", Jay said firmly.
"I understand that. But we have to leave the field to the Authorities in Minneapolis. We'll be watching and offering our support.", he placed both hands on his shoulders, as he stood in front of him. "We will wait for our turn and then we will watch this sick Bastard disappear behind bars. That's the most important thing, okay?"
Jay looked at him tensely and finally nodded.
/
After arriving at the Precinct in Minneapolis and getting acquainted with the Colleagues in charge there, they followed some Detectives to the interrogation rooms, where Cayden had already been questioned on and off for hours.
"He hasn't asked for a lawyer yet. He's answering any questions we have. It almost seems like he's proud of his past and that he enjoys putting the cards on the table," said Detective Miner, one of the Colleagues on scene, who had already spoken with Cayden.
"He's fully aware that this is his stage. That he's going to be behind bars for the rest of his life. He's very clever, I would say he's sociopathic, shows no compassion for his victims," Seargent Olson explained, as they entered the room behind the one-way mirror.
Jay looked at the man in the suit with disgust. Seeing him in custody now, after all that had happened, gave him no satisfaction. Rather, this man disgusted him. Deep down, Jay wished that violence would be done to him, as it had been done to his numerous victims.
Cayden was tall, slender, and wore a neat full beard. His steel-blue eyes kept darting back and forth between the two Detectives in the room, as if he was analyzing them.
"Can we talk to him?", Seargent Voight asked after a few minutes, while they had been listening to the conversation in the next room.
"One of you can go in with both of us, we'll switch in a minute.", Seargent Olson said.
Voight turned to Jay and looked at him firmly. "You're doing this, Jay. But stand down. I understand that you'd like to beat this guy to a pulp. Hell, I'd love to take him on a little tour... But this ain't Chicago, do you understand?"
Jay gritted his teeth and nodded. He had to try to keep himself in check.
"Okay.", Voight patted him supportively on the shoulder.
/
Cayden's face brightened, when Jay entered the room with the two Detectives.
"Detective Halstead. Badge number 51163... I was wondering, when you'd show up here.", he said, smiling. "How is Miss Hillsen?"
Cayden sat attentively at the interrogation room table with his handcuffed hands placed in front of him and with his fingers interlocked. Jay looked at him and stood in a corner of the room, while Detective Miner and Seargent Olson took their seats in the chairs. Cayden paid no attention to either of them, but kept his gaze firmly on Jay.
"Have you made a full recovery by now?", he continued. "I hope my little surprises have not caused you too much inconvenience."
"Mr. Cayden, what is this about?", Seargent Olson addressed him. "We're here to further talk about the charges you've been accused of."
Cayden turned his head and glared at the Seargent. "I want to talk to him alone. Or I'm not going to say anything more, from now on."
The two Officers looked questioningly at Jay, who nodded as he crossed his arms in front of his chest. The two Detectives left the room, Jay approached the table and stopped behind one of the chairs.
"So?", he then asked tensely, as he gripped the back of the chair with his fingers. "You do realize, that they're still watching everything through the one-way mirror?"
"But now I have your full attention.", Cayden replied arrogantly as he eyed him. "You haven't answered my questions."
"I won´t.", he said. "Are you going to answer mine?"
"Maybe."
"Good.", Jay sat down. He tried to keep his emotions in check. "Why Fiora? Of all the women you've had abused or killed by others, why couldn't you leave her alone? Hadn't she been through enough?"
Cayden smiled. "Woods was just supposed to correct his mistake."
"What mistake?"
"What mistake?", he repeated his words mockingly. "What do you think? He had let her live, I wanted to see her dead!"
Jay swallowed and it took a moment, before he could continue. He felt anger rise inside him.
"Is that why you had Macie Hold killed? Because you wanted to see how it ended?"
Cayden shook his head. "No. That was just a little reminder to you and your team, that I'm still around and that I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. But I have to admit, witnessing her death was a nice bonus."
Jay's anger flared. "And with Fiora? Almost fifteen years later, you gave Woods the order to end it? Why did you wait so long?"
"It was entirely her fault. Miss Hillsen also made a mistake... She came back to him."
Jay frowned. "You mean, back to Chicago?", Cayden nodded and Jay continued, upset. "That was her home. All she wanted, was to come home!"
"My rules. My decisions."
"Oh, yes?" Jay exclaimed, his anger flaring up. "Let me tell you something. Now it's my rules and my decisions!", he slapped the table with the flat of his hand and leaned forward. "You'll never get out of the hole, that we're going to put you in! You'll never be able to see further than the nearest cell wall, because you'll be transferred to a Maximum Security prison! No contacts! No more freedoms, no more making your own decisions! This will be your life from now on!"
Cayden laughed softly and leaned back. "You're so delightfully naive, Detective.", he said. Jay looked uncomprehendingly into those cold, blue eyes opposite him. "I have everything I need with me at all times." Cayden raised his hands. He tapped his index finger against his temple. "Eidetic memory. I have them all stored up here. Every video, every photo, every audio recording, every detail...", he closed his eyes and smiled. "Mhmmm, Miss Hillsen was so... innocent."
The chair tipped over, as Jay jumped up and stormed around the table. After a second, he was at Cayden's side, grabbing his neck with both hands. He dragged him up and pushed him against the nearest wall behind him. He was incredibly furious and he wanted to hurt him. Cayden, on the other hand, just stared at him triumphantly. Jay heard the door behind them being yanked open.
"If we were in Chicago, I'd put a bullet in your damn skull!", he whispered in Cayden's ear, before he was being grabbed by several hands and dragged out of the room within the next instant.
/
Hesitantly, Jay walked towards the old Brick house and took the steps to the front door. A moment later, he pressed the doorbell. Then, the door opened and Fiora's mother appeared in the doorway.
"Oh, Jay!", she hugged him and pulled him close for a moment. "How was your flight?"
"All good.", he said, smiling weakly.
Amelia had invited him to their home after he had told her, that Cayden had finally been arrested. He had agreed to fly to Boston for a weekend and to bring Fiora's personal belongings with him.
"Come on in.", she stepped aside and he took the Suitcase, that held her things. He followed Amelia into the house. "Thank you for making the extra trip. But after the news that the last Suspect has now been arrested, we just wanted to see you and to thank you in person."
"I didn't contribute to his arrest.", he said. "It was made by the Colleagues in Minneapolis."
"Don't be so modest. I know you and your team worked tirelessly to catch this man."
He followed her into the living room, where Mr. Hillsen sat in an armchair. Fiora's father had been on an Oxygen machine for some time and he wore a nasal tube to help him breathe. Jay was startled, when he saw how much Mr. Hillsen had changed, how old he had become...
He walked over to him and shook his hand. "Sir.", was all he said.
"Glad you're here, kid,", the older man said softly. "Have a seat." He pointed to the couch and Jay sat down. He placed the suitcase down beside him.
"Coffee?", Mrs. Hillsen asked and he nodded. She disappeared into the kitchen.
He felt terribly out of place. What had he been thinking, coming here immediately after the flight, instead of going to the Hotel first?
"Jay?", the voice of Fiora's father brought him back to reality. "We're really grateful. Thank you for taking care of everything. It's my fault, that we couldn't be there..."
"There´s nothing to thank for, Sir...", he replied. „Here's the suitcase with Fioras most important things for you."
He gulped, but then Mrs. Hillsen came back and handed him a coffee mug. She took a seat next to him. For a moment, there was an oppressive silence in the room.
"You asked me for something.", Amelia then said and went to a small cabinet in the corner of the room. She pulled open a drawer, took out a small envelope and handed it to him. "Take it with you."
Jay knew what was in the envelope and he nodded gratefully. He hadn't found a single photo of her, when he´d cleaned out Fiora's apartment. She had never posted a picture of herself on Social Media and he couldn´t find one on her camera as well. But he wanted to be able to remember her, if the worst actually happened. So he had written to her mother and had asked for a picture of her.
"It's from last Christmas.", she said. "She didn't know I was taking the picture. She hates having her picture taken...", Mrs. Hillsen's eyes filled with tears and Mr. Hillsen cleared his throat. Jay lowered his gaze and ran his fingers over the envelope. "We really don't know what to do.", Amelia then said in a trembling voice.
Jay had been aware, that this visit would be difficult. But he hadn't wanted to leave Fiora's parents alone with the decision. The doctors had told the couple, that by now, they no longer believed that Fiora would ever regain consciousness. The money for treatments had run out weeks ago and Jay knew that her parents had borrowed money from everywhere to keep paying the hospital bills.
"Maybe this time, she'll be able to breathe on her own.", he said, though he knew himself, how unlikely his hope was. "Then she could be brought here."
"We still hope it so much.", Amelia replied.
At that moment the phone rang and she got up. Jay was left alone in the room with Mr. Hillsen, sipping his coffee in silence.
Suddenly, Amelia stormed back into the room with the phone in her hand, her cheeks wet with tears and Jay already feared the worst. But then, all at once, she laughed in relief.
"It's Dr. Charles!", she exclaimed, sobbing. "Fiora's awake! She's awake!"
/
Jay had immediately booked Amelia on his own flight back to Chicago, which had been scheduled for the next noon. He was excited, when they reached the Chicago Medical Center.
Amelia had asked him to come along, although he had offered her, to see Fiora alone at first. But since Mr. Hillsen couldn't be there, she was eager to have him along.
First, however, Dr. Charles wanted to talk to them. All he had said on the phone was, that Fiora was responsive and that she had asked for her parents. Jay took that as a good sign. They just entered the Neurology ward and went to the Registration desk. After a short wait, they were sent to Dr. Charles' office.
"Mrs. Hillsen, Mr. Halstead.", he greeted them both, as he shook their hands. "It's good to have you here."
"You've given us good news, too. Finally.", Amelia said with a smile and audible relief, as she sat down. "How is she?"
Jay took a seat as well, scrutinizing the older Doctor's face intently. Dr. Charles seemed to brace himself internally before continuing to speak and Jay felt a knot forming in his stomach.
"Mrs. Hillsen, Fiora woke up yesterday and considering the last few months, she's really in surprisingly good shape."
"But?" Jay asked, almost unable to stand the tension.
Dr. Charles' gaze now shifted to him. "She doesn't remember what happened."
"But, that's a good thing, right? If she doesn't remember all the bad things that happened in Chicago?", Amelia asked.
"Mrs. Hillsen, Fiora suffers from a special form of memory loss. We call it Retrograde Amnesia. She remembers things from her older past, but she no longer remembers the recent past."
Jay slowly he realized what the doctor was getting at. "How far back does her last memory go?", he asked quietly.
"'When she was fifteen or sixteen,", Dr. Charles replied, and Jay bowed his head. "Fiora is aware, that she is now an adult and that something unusual has happened to her, but for her, these years have simply vanished from her memory."
Jay took a deep breath and Amelia squeezed his hand. He had met Fiora, when they were seventeen. So that meant, that she didn't remember him...
"Can her memory come back?", he asked in a strained voice.
"Sometimes, it comes back, yes.", Dr. Charles looked at him sympathetically. "But Fiora's Cerebral Injuries are in the region of the brain, where long-term memories are stored. That's where the most damage was done. I therefore assume, that she will not recover her memories. I'm sorry, Mr. Halstead."
/
After the initial shock during the conversation with Dr. Charles, Jay was still trying to accept the facts. He sat in a small waiting room and nervously kneaded his hands.
His emotions were a mess. He was incredibly glad and grateful, that Fiora had woken up and that she seemed to be doing well. But the fact, that she didn't remember him pained him so much, that he felt he could hardly breathe. It was almost, as if he´d lost her again after all that time of waiting and hoping, of slowly accepting that she wasn't coming back.
"Jay?", Amelia appeared in the doorway and looked at him sympathetically. "She'd like to see you."
He looked at her and hesitated. "But, she doesn't know who I am?"
She shook her head. "The doctors and I, we have been trying to gently teach her what happened. She's also desperate to know... But no, she doesn't remember you."
He nodded and swallowed. Then he slowly rose from the chair, where he had been sitting for the last two hours. He followed Amelia with uncertain steps into a room on the opposite side of the hall.
A moment later, his gaze fell on Fiora. She was sitting on the edge of her bed. She looked at him intently and he felt himself start to tremble inside. He had to try to keep his emotions in check somehow. Amelia sat down on a chair in the corner of the room, giving them their space.
"Hello.", Fiora said, as he continued to approach.
She wore a pink wool cap over her short hair. After all these weeks, she was finally wearing normal clothes, instead of a hospital gown. She almost looked like herself again, although because of the long time in Coma, she looked visibly weakened.
"Hello...", he answered hesitantly. "How are you?", he stopped a few steps from her.
"I'm okay, really.", she said guardedly. She let her gaze wander over his face briefly, then she lowered her head. "They explained to me, how this would go, but it feels so strange..."
"Yeah...", he said awkwardly, smiling slightly. "I don't think you can really prepare for something like this." He felt a deep sadness grip him all at once, as he finally realized that this person in front of him, was not the one he knew. "Don't you remember anything?", he asked softly.
She looked at him again and shook her head. "I'm sorry."
He pressed his lips together and avoided her gaze. He had known the facts before, but hearing it now from herself, was something else.
"I remember a lot of things from my childhood, my youth, my parents. Our house in Chicago..", she continued. "But other than that..."
Jay nodded and let the words sink in. He looked down at the floor.
"Jason?", she asked softly. "I'm sorry."
He raised his head and looked at her, while he shook his head slightly. "Jay. Just Jay...", he said, stepping a little closer.
"Jay. I thank you for being here.", she finally said hesitantly. "My mom told me, that you took care of everything here. Thank you so much for that. She also told me that my dad is very sick. And I want to go back to Boston with her, as soon as possible... And I'll probably need a few more surgeries and I want to be as close to my family as possible."
„Of course.", he answered. „You don´t have to explain anything to me."
She smiled weakly and he felt his eyes fill with tears. He turned his back on her, not wanting this to be any harder for her than it already was. Quickly wiping his eyes, he tried to calm down again. He took a breath and then he turned back around.
"I can't imagine what this must be like for you. I'm so sorry," Fiora added.
He realized that he had to let her go. That it was over. He had to accept that he had already lost her on the day, when they had returned from Wisconsin.
"You don't have to be sorry. I just wish you the very best.", he began in a trembling voice. "If you or your family, if you ever need my help, I'll be here, okay?" She nodded and looked at him sympathetically. He continued. "I have one last request."
"Yes?"
"Don't try to find out too much about your past, promise me that.", he hesitated. "And if you go through your things, then you will find a camera with many wonderful pictures. Please, publish them. You have such a talent."
"I don't know... I take pictures?", she asked, surprised.
"Yes. You'll see", he smiled encouragingly at her. "Just start over, Fiora. You deserve it."
She smiled shyly and at least he had the hope of having left something with her. Maybe at least, this one little piece of advice that he hoped, she would follow.
/
That night, Jay hadn't been able to be alone at home anymore and he'd ended up going to Molly's, where he'd met Erin. They were sitting at the Counter and he had just told her as best he could, what had happened at the hospital.
"I'm very sorry.", she said, looking at him, visibly moved. "It's not fair."
He expelled the air from his lungs and laughed humorlessly. "Well, what's even fair in our lives?"
Erin put a hand on his back. "She gets to start over and she doesn´t remember all the bad things from her past. Maybe that will give you some comfort."
He looked at her and nodded slowly. "Yes, that's what I think, too. But..."
"Jay." she interrupted him. "I know... It will take time, but it will get better. It hurts, but we're all here for you. The family at the Station... You know that, right?"
"Yes, of course. Thank you.", he lowered his gaze.
She caressed his arm briefly, then she picked up her glass and raised it. "To family."
He did the same and toasted her.
"To family." he said wanly, but he was glad that she was there for him at that moment.
/
A few months later, Jay was about to leave the Precinct after his shift, when Seargent Platt called after him.
"Hey, Loverboy!"
He stopped and rolled his eyes. Ever since he and Erin had made it public that they were a couple, she'd been having fun with teasing him constantly. He turned and walked to the Reception Desk.
"Seargent?", he glanced at her, annoyed.
"I have a package here for you.", she pulled out a flat box from under the counter. "Don't even dream of using me as a Mailroom in the future, okay?"
He frowned. "I didn't have anything delivered in here."
"Wouldn't advise it, either.", she handed him the package and then she proceeded to fill out the form in front of her, without giving him another look.
Jay took the box under his arm and left the Precinct. Outside, he turned it over and looked for the return address. It was a Publishing house... in Boston.
Immediately, his heart beat a little faster and he hurried to get to his car. After taking a seat in the driver's seat, he pulled off the tape of the package and opened it.
It was a book, wrapped in bubble wrap. He took it out and unwrapped the foil.
Then he faltered, as his gaze fell on the Bookcover. It was an Illustrated Book and the photo on the Cover showed... him.
It was the picture that Fiora had taken at the Jetty. He could only be seen from behind, with Wilson sitting next to him in the morning sun. He swallowed and glanced at the book's title.
"Memories of a Stranger"
He held the book in his hand for a moment, undecided if he was ready to open it.
Then he discovered, that there was an envelope inside the package. He took it and opened it. It was a handwritten card from Fiora.
/
Dear Jay,
I hope you will forgive me for addressing you in this way. I have taken your advice to heart and I thank you immensely for it.
I first published my photos and my story on a blog. A little later, I was approached by a Publisher and the result is now in your hands.
I sincerely hope that you are doing well. And of course I also wish you only the very best for your future.
Fiora.
/His hands trembled all at once and he stared at the lines for a moment longer, before folding the card shut. On the front was a drawn Phoenix and he smiled involuntarily at the fitting illustration of Fiora's situation. Then he took the book in his hands again and began to flip through it.
The first pages showed photos of places, Fiora must had visited in the past. She had written notes next to some of the pictures, saying that she could not remember ever having been to the places, but that she associated strong emotions with the photos. Detailed photos of buildings, windows and doors followed.
Some of them had very personal remarks that revealed a lot about how she´d learned to deal with the unfamiliar situation.
The next pages were dominated by her beautiful nature shots. Next to one picture it said that she knew for sure, that she loved being on that very beach and walking through the wet sand. She knew it without ever having been there in her "Second Life," as she called it. Jay kept turning the pages.
He recognized the following pictures immediately. They had been taken on their trip to Wisconsin. The garden behind the house, the Jetty by the river, the Fireflies. He smiled, as the memories caught up with him. She had been so excited and had tried everything possible to capture the little points of light on her pictures.
He turned the page and had reached the last page, which once again showed the photo from the cover. Him, on the Jetty.
The text next to the picture said:
Sometimes, I think I see something flashing in the shadows. But I cannot grasp it. And then it disappears in the darkness again. These are the days, when I long for something Unknown and somehow I know that the Unknown, is you...
/
THE END