Weapons' Day, by Daneel Rush
Originally posted on March 31st, 2012
It was with a groan that Yagami Hayate woke up that morning. Then again, she always wakes up with a moan; this one was just particularly loud and angry-sounding.
Yagami Hayate hates mornings, you see.
Last night had gotten a bit…rambunctious. It had somehow started with the girls peeking on the self-appointed "Team Awesome" and their antics. Then it had devolved in a particularly excitable version of the whole group's usual gatherings, as Chrono and the others had noticed the tracer Rein had placed on Shirou from the beginning. Then at some point the booze started to flow—just where the hell did all that alcohol come from, really?—, which resulted in Hayate-san's current and most annoying headache.
Two knocks drew her attention to the door. A second later, it was opened, and much to her surprise it was Emiya Shirou, the man she could openly admit she loved, stepping into the room with…a tray.
"We're having breakfast in bed today…huh?" The young man paused awkwardly the moment he noticed Hayate was up. "Oh…Hayate?"
The short-haired woman looked at Shirou, then at the tray, and then at Shirou's face once more. Proving that her brain works in strange, unique ways, her reaction was a mock-gasp.
"Don't, don't tell me…!" Hayate started; her depiction of a shocked young woman absolutely terrible. "We got so drunk, we got married…!"
Shirou blinked, and soon enough his cheeks were struggling to contain his laughter.
"Do-Please don't be silly, Hayate."
Hayate was about to mock-complain about Shirou shooting down her hypothesis too quickly, but…
"You know I married Vita. Why are you in our bedroom, anyway?"
"…eh?"
And that's when Yagami Hayate realized she was not in her bedroom, and not on her bed.
A new yawn, not coming from her mouth, interrupted Hayate's mental halt. Another redhead, clad only in a thin sleeveless cotton shirt and striped panties, was stretching on the bed like a lazy cat. In other circumstances, it would have been rather cute.
Vita's groggy eyes fell on the tray, and promptly burst open with excitement.
"Ooooh, breakfast in bed!" She grinned, and Hayate saw a certain flush on her knight's cheeks that she was sure had never existed before. "You sure know how to make a woman happy, darling~"
"A-ha-ha~"
Hayate gaped at Shirou. What the fuck kind of laughter was that!? So lame!
Let it be known that such thoughts were strongly driven by the fact that Shirou's laughter was not directed at or caused by her.
"I try."
Hayate took a deep breath when Shirou, after placing the tray on the small girl's lap, smoothly eased himself behind her, allowing Vita to rest her back on his inviting torso. The girl hummed in a way that made Hayate shudder when Shirou gently slid his fingers over Vita's bare shoulders.
"I love ya, you know?"
Hayate blinked. Her knight's voice sounded…charmingly calm. At ease. Happy.
Shirou chuckled. "Why do you only say that at mealtimes?"
Vita blissfully grinned, showing not the slightest hint of shame for Shirou's comment. The clear-eyed young man responded with a more subdued, yet expressive smile, so full of tenderness it made Hayate whimper a little.
A wordless message was exchanged between the two redheads' loving gazes and, before Hayate could do anything to stop it, their lips found each other in a tender encounter. Hayate suddenly felt immensely lonely, and immensely cold.
"Eh…?" It was a pathetic sound that escaped her barely parted lips as she witness the, well, not-so-unimaginable.
They separated, and once again their eyes spoke far more eloquently than their mouths ever could. Hayate might as well be in another dimension but, finally, the knight of the hammer dispelled the strange, powerful and intimate encounter with a silly, childish grin that still somehow reflected her happiness as a woman.
"Nihihi~" And then she realized there was a third person in the room. "Huh. Hayate. What'cha doing here?"
Yagami Hayate awoke with a gasp!
And then groaned as her brain reminded her of all the alcohol she consumed last night.
"Ow."
Exactly.
No longer gasping for air like a man adrift at sea, her eyes darted around her surroundings, which she immediately recognized as her own bedroom in her own residence, the one she shared with her knights in Mid-Childa. Golden light was filtered through the curtains, announcing a new morning to the young mage. Glancing at the alarm clock by the bedside, she noticed it would ring in a matter of minutes and thus moved to turn it off. The loud noise it made would be nothing but annoying now that she was up…
A snore, loud and annoying like a drunken sailor's belch, filled the room more eminently than any alarm clock ever could. At the same time, the door to the bedroom opened, revealing an annoyingly-healthy Emiya Shirou holding, of all things, a tray with what was obviously breakfast.
"Good morning, you two lazy oafs," the boy greeted with unusual cheer. Knowing him, it was probably just the pleasure of preparing breakfast for other people. His pleasant smile flattened a little at the sight of the one person who remained asleep.
Clad in only a sleeveless undershirt and striped panties, a certain hammer knight shamelessly and open-mouthedly snored while sprawled on Hayate's bed.
Hayate looked at Shirou looking at Vita, and confirmed a suspicion of hers.
Vita was his bro, and thus he looked at her in a special way.
She wanted to be looked at in a special way, damn it!
Something boiled within Yagami Hayate.
…
"OWWWW! WHAT THE HELL!?"
It was a painful morning for Vita of the Wolkenritter.
WEAPONS' DAY
Inspired by Heroslayer's 'Mahou Senki: Lyrical Days'
"Um, Shirou, I, I have to ask, uh, I mean!" A surprisingly bashful Hayate hesitated to make her question clear. "N-Not that I'm not happy about this—I, I'm very, very happy! Bu-but, how come—the one over there, stop retching!"
Vita whistled innocently, her eyes never looking in the direction of Hayate and Shirou sitting on the bedside.
"Ah, well…" Shirou seemed a bit nervous; maybe this was a question he did not want to answer.
This 'breakfast in bed' gesture was the result of a surprising—for Shirou—bout of critical anaylsis.
Well, those earlier dates of his...they did not turn out very well, did they?
Realizing that he had not precisely given Fate and Nanoha the magical time they deserved, Shirou decided he would not allow himself to screw up a third time. However, he was not particularly skilled in the ways of dating. Advice was needed.
Emiya Shirou sought the one man he was acquainted with who he believed had the experience and knowledge the young magus so desperately needed. That was two days earlier...
"Oh, Emiya! Rare to see you here!" Vice Granscenic looked up from his workbench the moment he noticed the approaching figure. Emiya Shirou had a smile of relief on his face as he entered the hangar.
"Granscenic-san, it's good I found you; I really don't know my way around this place," Shirou admitted somewhat embarrassedly.
"Ah, well, most of these buildings are being refurbished, so a lot of stuff's being moved around. You're not the only one who gets lost here. So, how can this bored old man help you?"
"Haa, you're not that old, sir."
"Then don't call me sir," the amused former sniper barked in mock-anger. "Come on, speak your mind, boy! You need a ride? No...it's girl issues, isn't it? If it's Emiya, it's got to be girl issues!"
"What are you implying about me, Granscenic-san...?"
"Now, now, don't mind that, come sit over here and let's have a talk."
Vice Granscenic is extremely bored.
"Ah, actually...I'm just looking for Chro...Admiral Harlaown. I was told he's around here...?"
Vice Granscenic is extremely disappointed.
"...oh. Ah, right. Yeah. Sure. Heard he's over at Ground Station. Know where that is?"
"Um," Shirou said as he nodded. "Great. I have to run, then. Thanks a lot!"
"Haa...yeah, yeah, leave this old man alone in his hangar..."
You are really not that old, Granscenic-san.
Armed with the knowledge of married man extraordinaire, Chrono Harlaown (pfft!), Shirou was now invincible!
"I just, mah..." Shirou struggled for the right words. It was not like Chrono gave him pointers on how to answer if asked why he prepared breakfast for his date. "I just want everything to be right today, Hayate. And, well, maybe...show you that I can plan things a little?"
"Check it out, Hayate," Vita said during a pause in her incessant gobbling. "He cooks and he cares. You can't let'im go, I tell ya."
Of course, Vita was not precisely being altruistic here. There was an intrinsic gain for her if Shirou and Hayate officially hooked up.
Hayate flatly stared at the smallest of her Cloud Knights.
"...why are you still here?"
"Because the food is here," Vita replied in a voice that made it obvious just how retarded she found that question.
Shirou let go a kind-of-whiny sound the moment Hayate's flat stare fell on him. He had already done something wrong and he was not entirely sure of exactly what it was.
"Aah...well, I saw Vita was sleeping here as well, so I naturally...?"
Hayate wanted to bury her face in her palms.
"Shirou, sweetheart...you need to plan a bit harder. Vita's not supposed to have breakfast with us."
"...why not?" Shirou wondered, tilting his head. "I don't mind having breakfast with Vita."
"Yeah, I'm cool," Vita responded, her attention more on the food placed before her than on the two young lovebirds. "I'm quiet and utterly inconspicuous."
Then she burped. Loudly and extensively.
"...excuse my Belkan."
"Apologize to the Ancient Belkan civilization this very instant!" Hayate retorted.
"Mah, mah, you're too loud too early this morning, Hayate. Really, pretend I'm not here," the small redhead suggested before flicking a green grape into her mouth. "I swear I won't make a sound even if you start molesting Emi—oof!"
Pillow to the face.
"Oi!"
"Out. Now."
"Sheesh, seriously," Vita mumbled as she picked what was left of her food before standing up. "Five years ago you wouldn't let me leave your room." A pause. "Yeah, you should know this, Emiya: she's a hugger. Like, hardcore."
"Vita…" Hayate's voice dripped with menace and future violence.
"Good thing you're made of swords, otherwise she'd kill you the first night you sleep on the same bed, really. But I'd still consider separate beds." She nodded as if proud of her conclusion. "They'll make your marriage long and joyful."
"Viiiiiiiiitaaaaaaaa…"
"Whoa! Scary!" The little redhead flinched at the same of the glowering mage. Winking at Shirou who would just let Vita to her amusement, the hammer knight delivered the final blow.
"Wow, Hayate, that look reaaaally matches your hideous bed hair."
Hayate froze.
"And…wait, you did not remove your makeup before going to bed last night! Wow!" She placed her hand on her chest and widened her eyes in mock-awe. "Did you…did you actually plan this…this brilliant witch face!? Because, really, if you did, I take back anything bad I might or might not have ever said about you; you're awesome, mistress."
Hayate gaped. Vita smirked.
"Something ugly could get in there, mistress."
Suddenly looking like a pitiful abandoned puppy, Hayate glanced up at the man who loved and was now looking at her at her worst. Shirou swallowed his hesitation and pressed forward, because he's a hero!
"I think you look, um, charming."
Hayate's eyes began to water. Emiya Shirou? Not very convincing.
"And natural," Vita suggested, and Shirou's eyes widened excitedly.
"Yes! Natural! Thank you, Vita."
"Anything for you, bro."
Yagami Hayate was very close to crying, when she experienced a wonderful epiphany: crying is for losers! Yagami Hayate is most definitely not a loser! She can do much better than crying!
Like for example, channel that feeling and transmute it into unstoppable rage.
And she even had a perfectly viable target for that rage right in that room! Lu-cky~!
"…Vita."
Shirou's and Vita's bodies went dreadfully stiff. Hayate's voice was one thing; the positively vicious aura emanating from her…rather messy-haired form could easily make the local fauna run away in terror!
"You…have been a good knight, Vita," Hayate spoke, her messy hair wriggling like the snakes on Medusa's head.
Well, maybe not the Medusa Shirou once met, but…
"Have been?" Vita squeaked. "What's with that 'have been'!? Why are you speaking in present perfect!?"
"…thank you for your services to this day."
"Your hands! Your hands are wriggling, and it's scary—gyaaaaa!"
Shirou was startled for a moment when Hayate dashed out of the bed at a speed Shirou did not know she was capable of. Vita being just as fast was to some extent a surprise as well.
The sounds of the chase resounded throughout the entire house.
"Come on, Vita-chwaaan~" Hayate called out in a disturbingly deranged voice. "I can make it painless~"
"You don't sound very eager to do so!"
"Ooh, Vita!" Zafira's boisterous voice reached Shirou from somewhere downstairs. "Making Hayate jealous again?"
"It's not my fault I'm pretty much Emiya's ideal woman!"
"YOU ARE NOT!" Shirou promptly yelled to the world outside the bedroom.
"Ahahahaha~aren't you just so damn funny, Vita-chwaaan?"
"Wah, Hayate, you look friggin' scary!"
"Do-Don't run while I'm—wah!" A new voice found itself interrupted by the reckless chase.
Shirou winced as the sound of falling dishes echoed throughout the residence.
"The-the food!" Vita cried out. "Hayate, how could you!?"
"You're the one who bumped into me!" Shamal whined in complaint.
Sighing, Shirou calmly reached for the one untouched dish on the tray he had taken to the bedroom. It was a small tea plate which he could effortlessly carry between two fingers. Holding to that plate, he reached for the other person still in the bedroom, knocking on a certain black cosmetic case thrice.
"U-Umm…is, is it safe to come out now?" A tiny voice chimed from within the box. Shirou opened the case, allowing Hayate's Unison Device to shyly pop out from the container Hayate had refurbished into a miniature bedroom.
"Good morning, Rein."
Reinforce Zwei smiled brightly at the face of the man her mistress favored.
"Um! Good morning, Shirou-san."
"Since the others have left, would you mind joining me for breakfast?" Shirou offered. "We have wonderful weather today."
"Um, I'd be happy to."
Shirou and the floating Device moved unnoticed by the other denizens of the Yagami residence. The managed to make it all the way downstairs and past the dining room to reach the house's inner courtyard, where they could sit down and bask in the morning sun.
As for the others…
"Viiiiiiiii~taaaaaaaaa~!"
"Gaaaaah—leave me alone! Damn it, Hayate, I know where you live!"
"What kind of retarded threat is that!?" Zafira cried out.
"Ufufufu~Come to onee-san, Viiiiita-chwaaaaan~"
"No way! I'm not crazy like you!"
"If Vita-chwan disappears, Shirou wil finally love onee-san~"
"What could have possibly made you reach that conclusion!?"
"You want onee-san to be happy, don't you, Viiiiita-chwaaaaaan~?"
"Screw your happiness, I want to live! Emiya promised me okonomiyaki next week!"
"Ufu, ufufu, is that so~?"
"Wah! Wha-why do you look even scarier now!?"
"YOU'RE ACTUALLY WONDERING!?" Zafira exclaimed at the small knight's sudden bout of denseness.
Moving as if in tandem, Shirou and Reinforce Zwei put down their bowls of vastly different size and sighed contently.
"Nice weather, huh…" Shirou said placidly.
"Really nice…" Reinforce agreed, and the two resumed their pleasant morning meal, disconnected from the madness within the Yagami estate.
Tohsaka Rin liked slow mornings. They had become particularly pleasant after she scored herself a boyfriend. She would never admit this to anymore, even less Yuuno, but the feeling of waking up in his arms was immensely comforting to the young Earth magus. Maybe, in a way, it reminded her that, despite walking a path laden with death, she still remained human.
So, Tohsaka Rin often pretended to remain asleep, particularly on weekends. She enjoyed cuddling to her lovable boyfriend's shirtless torso and lazily gazing at the morning scenery beyond the translucent curtains of their twilit bedroom. The clear blue sky…
…the fluffy clouds…
…the giant bumping fists…
…wait, what?
"What the hell…?"
Yuuno, who had always known his beautiful girlfriend was just faking her slumber, followed the direction of her gaze. Indeed, there was a black silhouette of two fists bumping each other in the middle of Cranagan's morning sky, most likely projected by a large and potent lamp somewhere on the ground.
Rin felt her boyfriend's body going tense in response to the bizarre sight.
"The Bro-Signal!" Yuuno gasped out as he hurriedly raised himself off the bed. As if merely a side-thought, he leaned to kiss Rin's forehead. "Sorry, Rin; I gotta run!"
He was dressed and gone in a record fifteen seconds, leaving an underwear-clad young woman alone in her bed and looking…well, rather slack-jawed.
"…what."
Close-up of bumping fists over a spinning background
"Gentlemen, Ladies, thank you for coming," Vita of the Wolkenritter greeted the people in the dark room. The side-slit black pants she wore tantalizingly showed off her right leg as she elegantly crossed it over the other one. While the standby form of Graf Eisen hung from her neck as usual, her right hand was busy holding a riding crop.
Her audience consisted of the other Wolkenritter plus Chrono Harlaown and Yuuno Scrya, who had responded to her Bro-Signal with due haste.
Yes, the Bro-Signal is totally a thing.
"Why are we here?" Reinforce Zwei wondered with some trepidation.
"Because we have a mission."
"Where did the projector come from…?" Signum wondered, referring to the device on the desk vita was sitting on.
"People owe me favors, and no more will be said about that."
"Stop taking advantage of Admiral Floyd just because he's a lolicon, Vita," Chrono said in a flat voice.
"No more will be said about that."
"Things will get worrisome if he feels he actually has a chance."
"No more will be said about that," Vita repeated in the exact same intonation.
"Actually, I'm more worried about the fact you're wearing a Gestapo uniform," Shamal pointed out. Indeed, Vita's black uniform was unmistakable.
"It's the coolest thing in Hayate's cosplay closet. The fact it's made to my size should tell you enough."
No more would be said on the fact that Hayate at some point intended to have Vita dress as a Nazi.
"And I kinda like this thing," Vita admitted while lightly smacking her free hand with the riding crop. "If Emiya were here I'd try it out on him."
"We don't need you to awaken to that sort of strange hobby!" Yuuno cried out. "And why Shirou!?"
"Well, duh! Chrono will kick my ass if I hit him, and there's no way in hell I will land a hit on you."
"That doesn't justify anything! And what about Zafira anyway!?"
"Hey!"
"Nah, Zafira is Hayate's pet, not mine."
"HEY!"
"But anyway," Vita dismissed this particular topic by turning on the projector.
An image of a grinning Yagami Hayate appeared on the wall behind the redhead.
"This is Subject A: Yagami Hayate," she began. "We are all familiar with her."
Click.
A picture of Hayate in her Knight Armor.
"Mistress of the Tome of the Night Sky."
Click.
Hayate dressed in her TSAB uniform and smiling from behind a desk.
"Currently associated to Battalion 104 of the Capital Defense Corps."
Click.
The audience dropped sweat at the sight of Hayate's unsettling expression as she chased Vita while holding a dangerously small and risqué maid uniform.
"A huge pervert."
The audience nodded. Yuuno and Signum shot odd looks at Zafira, who was taking notes.
Click.
A picture of a certain red-haired boy staring oddly at the camera. The picture was obviously taken without his consent.
"This is Emiya Shirou."
"Wait, wait, why is there a lingerie store in the background—"
Click.
A picture of Shirou talking to a group of cadets in one of the many training fields for the future Ground Troopers. He is wearing a clear white shirt instead of his usual blue and white, and he holds two Japanese swords in his hands.
"A magus from TSAB Non-Administrated Planet #97, Earth," Vita continued, utterly ignoring Signum's cry a moment earlier. "Owner of a highly-specialized style of magic focused on the creation of weapons."
"No, no, that other picture; I saw your head! You were in that store, Vita!" Signum continued in a most uncharacteristic outburst of voice.
Click.
A ridiculous picture of Vita, Yuuno, Chrono, Zafira and Shirou posing like members of a sentai team. Only Vita and Zafira seem to not mind the hilarious posturing, while the other three have mild yet noticeable looks of embarrassment.
"Member of the super elite 'Team Awesome', aka 'The Badass Brigade'."
"Since when?" Chrono murmured.
"Since shut the fuck up, Chrono."
"Why were you in a lingerie store with Shirou, Vita!?" Signum does not know when to quit.
Click.
A picture of a smiling Shirou busy before the stove. With the hand not holding the ladle he was pushing away a delighted Vita whose face and hands were dangerously close to the pots and pans on the stove.
His apron, eloquently enough, read "Unlimited Food-for-Vita Works."
It was a present. From the red Belkan knight, naturally.
"He cooks the most amazing food that gives my life meaning," Vita declared without a hint of mirth…for a second. Then her face blossomed into the broadest of smiles and her eyes shone with an unnatural, maybe even vampiric—in a certain setting—, sparkle. "Just last Sunday, he did this amazing thing with all sorts of seafood—"
"Focus, Vita."
The small girl in the black Nazi clothes caught herself before she ended up irredeemably lost in a food porn fantasy.
The Hammer Knight's mind can be a dirty as her mistress', in certain ways.
"…right." She cleared her throat. "My apologies."
Click.
A picture of Hayate and Shirou in the mage girl's office. Like in the first picture of Shirou, the two have obviously being caught by surprise. Shirou stands by Hayate's desk, frozen in the middle of handing the brunette a stack of documents.
"Subject Yagami Hayate has shown an interest in Subject Emiya Shirou. It is an interest those close to Subject Yagami can only encourage most wholeheartedly, even if…"
Click.
A picture of a large gathering of people in Shirou's Fuyuki residence. Emiya Shirou has seemingly stumbled backwards, most likely a consequence of being tackled by Hayate. The girl is on all fours in front of him, her face most disturbing as her hands eagerly reach for the zipper on his jeans. A group of people, first and foremost one Takamachi Nanoha, are frozen in their attempt to pull Hayate away from Shirou, most of them looking not particularly amused by the short-haired girl's stunt.
"…it appears to be a most unhealthy of interests, from time to time."
Signum and Shamal sighed in utmost, pained agreement.
"Today, Subject Yagami and Subject Emiya are engaged in a traditional human courting ritual," Vita explained. "It is the worst because it means my lunch will not be godly, but I am a tolerant and patient woman."
"The desk!" Yuuno cried out. "Your free hand is crushing the desk as you say those words!"
Maybe it has not been made clear by this point, but Vita really, really likes Emiya Shirou's food.
Also, she's a shameless liar.
"Ladies, gentlemen: we want this 'date' to succeed."
"Does this have to do with the fact that, should they marry, Shirou would live with us and cook for us every day?" Shamal most intelligently suggested.
Vita's riding crop fell on the desk, hard.
"Insolent woman!" She cried out in sudden, unreasonable rage. "You call yourself one of Hayate's knights!? We are the god-damned Wolkenritter! Nothing matters more than Hayate's happiness!"
A tense, heavy silence ensued. For, like, one or two seconds.
"It's totally the food, isn't it?" Chrono insisted in his usual cool tone of voice.
The raunchiest sound came out of Vita's mouth as she licked her lips in anticipation of what she haw as the ideal, utopian future of her dreams.
It was extremely unsettling.
"The problem is, ladies and gentlemen, this."
Click.
Back to the picture of Hayate looking like a complete deviant.
"As stated before, Subject Yagami is a hopeless pervert."
Click.
Once again, the first picture of a slightly surprised Emiya Shirou.
"And Subject Emiya also happens to be hopelessly dense. I love him to death, but he is an idiot."
Chrono, Zafira and Yuuno nodded in utmost agreement.
"Ladies. Gentlemen." Vita crossed her arms before her chest. "We must intervene."
And thus, Hayate and Shirou's date was doomed even before it started.
Yagami Hayate is known to be many things.
A powerful mage, for example, to the point she is whispered about in the corridors of TSAB offices as the "Walking Lost Logia".
She is also known as a bit of a pervert, as the previous scene insistently remarked upon.
TSAB is somewhat divided on this: while it is the proper protocol to disapprove of the girl's eager efforts to engage in "skinship" with anyone and everyone she finds interesting enough, hushed whispers and giggles in private locations such as locker rooms and infirmaries would reveal that quite a few people have been impressed and even pleased by Yagami Hayate's dexterous hands.
But, and this might surprise a few people, Yagami Hayate is above all a young girl with normal hopes and dreams.
Right now, that normal girl is latched to the left arm of the young man she fancies, and that makes her very, very happy. So happy, in fact, that to the aforementioned young man, Emiya Shirou, the girl to his side is giggling for no obvious, apparent reason.
"What is it?" He asked, the girl's delight causing him obvious amusement. Hayate looked up at him, her face blossoming in a bright, flushing smile Shirou had to admit was very lovely.
"Nothing. Just happy."
It was so unreasonably hard for her to have some quality time like this with the man she favored. Hayate found it more than a little annoying.
At the moment they were basically window-shopping in one of Mid-Childa's most popular commercial streets.
"So…what are you buying me, Emiya Shirou?"
The boy chuckled mildly, but that was enough to amaze Hayate. Shirou is not a chuckling person.
"Ah, I guess I don't mind buying you things, but I must ask you to be gentle to my wallet, Hayate."
It was Hayate's turn to laugh.
"Silly boy; if you are taking a girl out on a date, you must be ready to spend~"
"Ugh."
Hayate giggled and clutched Shirou's right arm even tighter.
This. This idle, pointless chit-chat. It was the best.
"Alright, let's try looking for clothes. A girl can never have enough clothes, you see."
"Yes, so I've been told," a smiling Shirou replied.
"I want something sexy," Hayate confessed, turning her voice into a whisper for that last word in a strange form of emphasis. "Something I can show off, you see." She paused for a moment as her wicked mind evaluated ideas. "Now, I know I can't pull off skin-tight body suits the way Fate-chan does—"
"Urk!"
Hayate's expression flattened. Shirou was looking away, doing his darnedest to avoid her stare while covering the bottom half of his face with his free hand.
"…you are thinking of Fate-chan in a bike rider's suit."
"Urk," Shirou repeated, and Hayate's eyes narrowed.
"…the synthetic material has latched and adjusted to the form of her body, accenting each and every single one of her absurdly shapely curves."
"Ha-Haya—"
But the girl has already leaned closer to his left ear for the finishing blow.
"And she is wearing nothing. Else."
Shirou whined and unsubtly bent his body and turned his knees together for strictly physiological reasons. He was standing on the middle of a public walkway, so it is rather embarrassing.
"Ha-Hayate! We're not alone here!" He desperately whispered while wincing. His words, however, had no impact on the smirking young woman.
"So it's okay to do it when we're alone together."
"You, you know what I meant!"
Hayate was about to giggle at the adorable embarrassed expression on his face, but then she paused, and frowned.
"Hey, more like, what are you doing fantasizing about another girl in our date!?" The brunette suddenly exploded, lightly smacking Shirou's left side with her right hand.
"IT'S YOUR FAULT!"
He really should not have said that.
"You're mean, Shirou!" Hayate mock-whined. "Fantasize about me!"
"I DON'T WANT TO!"
He really should not have said that.
Hayate took air as if physically struck by that verbal blow.
"You…you…you idiot!" Her voice exploded a little too loudly, and thus drawing a little too much attention. She was clearly doing it on purpose, if the upturned curve of her lips told Shirou anything. "Do you have any idea how frustrating it is for a girl like me!?"
"…now I have no idea what you're talking about."
"I'm talking about Fate-chan," Hayate stated, pulling Shirou along and thus cueing to resume their walk. They could talk as their feet moved forward. "It's frustrating, you know? When your best friend is the living embodiment of sexy."
"Why do you always say that word like that…?" Shirou wondered, referring to Hayate's choice to dropping her voice to a whisper and extending the last letter whenever she said 'sexy'. "And you shouldn't look down on yourself like that…"
"I don't need your stupid pity, Emiya Shirou; I know when I'm not a match." Hayate hissed venomously. "Stupid aliens with stupid perfect bodies…hell, I want to lick her all over, and I'm a woman!"
"Uh, no, being a woman is not really the issue in that sentence…" A suddenly stark red Shirou mumbled while covering his face yet again and cursing his traitorous mind for the imagery.
"And it's not just her mind-bogglingly beautiful body!" Hayate's ranting tirade continued. Shirou was feeling the beginnings of a headache coming.
"Somehow I feel you pay more attention to Fate than I do."
"She's constantly pulling off the 'innocent, gentle maiden' bullshit! It's so unfair!"
"She's not pulling anything off, Hayate. That's just rude."
"She already has the advantage of knowing you longer, damn it!"
"The difference's only six months!"
Unfazed, Hayate messily ruffled her head with her left hand, the right one refusing to unlatch itself from Shirou's left arm.
"Aaaaaaah!" She groaned as she made a partial mess of her hairdo. "Why does she have to be so nice, and hot, and smart, and skilled, and hot, and delicate, and gentle, and devoted, and so goddamn smoking hot!?"
"Did you really have to say it three times?"
"But it's just so unfair!" Hayate whined.
"Now, now, you're exaggerating…"
"Oh, no, it gets even worse!"
"Sometimes I really wish I could keep up with you, but then I think about it and fear the person I would become should that happen."
"The childhood friend."
"It sounds truly abominable when you say it."
Yagami Hayate brings out a really strange side of Emiya Shirou. Counter Guardian EMIYA would have loved her. Or feared the very idea of her existence, this author is not really sure.
"Tha-that Nanoha! She was so small and cute and cuddly, and then she became that!"
"I'm afraid to ask, but I've been called reckless before. What, oh what are you on about now, Hayate?"
"That woman's body is not Japanese."
"…really…no, wait, why am I thinking about Nanoha's body!?"
Fortunately for the hero, Hayate was in her own little world of complaining to enact retribution for Shirou's lapse.
"It's the food, isn't it? Yeah, it's gotta be the food…" she mused as her face assumed a meditative expression. "Probably a secret recipe handed down from generation to generation of ninja-swordsmen-bakers…"
"Waaah…" Shirou looked down at the young woman, utterly appalled. "You really just say whatever pops up in that head of yours, huh…"
"She's already the childhood friend character! She doesn't need any more advantages!"
"I'm afraid to know what kind of logic you're applying here."
Silly Shirou, he still thinks there's logic in there.
The team coordinated their movements with the aid of magical communication thingamajigs.
"Bad Wolf here," Zafira spoke in a secretive tone from his hiding spot behind a vending machine. "I have located the subjects. I repeat, subjects located. Do you copy me, Major Smash?"
"Copy you loud and clear, Bad Wolf," Vita's voice spoke out of the thingamajig. "We're moving to Position A now."
"Roger that."
"Timelord, Ferocious F, switch to stalki—I mean, watching duty."
"Roger, Major Smash," Chrono replied with the firm conviction of the soldier adhering to proper protocol.
"Yeah, yeah…" Yuuno did not sound nearly as obedient.
"Not-as-awesome-as-Vita, Yankee Mom: move to Position A-2 and remain on standby."
"Umm, Major Smash," Chrono found the need to intervene. "I thought we had decided on 'Forever Alone' for Sig…um, 'Not-as-awesome-as-Vita'."
'Leave-a-stain' was also suggested, but 'Major Smash' apparently really wanted to make a point.
"Aaah, I want to change my codename too~!"
"Denied." Vita immediately shut down Shamal's pitiful request.
"More like, why are we using these stupid codenames!?" Signum entered the remote conference with a strong voice.
"Look, we're wasting our time here, soldiers."
"You're evading the question!" Signum hissed angrily.
"Positions, people, positions!" Vita insisted, utterly ignoring Signum's complaints. "Commencing operation."
Emiya Shirou knew he was not the most eloquent person. He was made of sword, not of witty rhetoric, so most of the time he allowed others to do the talking.
However, he wanted to believe his current "situation" was one in which he was allowed to be completely out of words.
He would take Hayate's mute, flat stare as a yes.
After walking out of the mall they took a panoramic route through a mostly deserted green area in their way to another popular commercial street in central Cranagan. Then they were blocked by…a strange person.
"Hooo…why so gloomy, kitten-chan?"
The tall, muscular man wearing more leather and metal than should be legally allowed spoke in a tone that was somewhat mocking and somewhat suave; Shirou was not really sure. Acting like Shirou was not even there, he walked around them while staring at Hayate with eyes Shirou thought utterly unsettling.
Shirou could admit this rude person would have looked a little bit intimidating…were he not obviously Zafira in disguise.
"What," he said. "Are you doing."
It was hard to add the interrogative intonation at the end.
"Huuuuh!?" Zafira responded with an unnecessarily loud voice. "You gotta problem with meh!? Huh!?"
Shirou's face did not lose its inhuman flatness even when the Guardian Beast loomed over his form all snarling and muscles ripping under the leather jacket. He actually made for quite the impressive sight.
Hayate was still silent, and Shirou feared she might have gone into shock.
"Zafira, what are you doing?" Shirou insisted. It was really hard to make his voice fluctuate properly.
"Huuuu~uh!?" The wolf-man responded with that loud intonation that was rapidly becoming annoying. "What'cha talkin' about!? You some sort of clown? Huh!?"
"Beginning of a headache…" Shirou muttered, rubbing his temples with the middle finger and thumb of his right hand. "Look, Zafira—"
"Stop callin' me that, brat."
"I can see your ears!" Shirou finally exploded, screaming loudly enough to rouse dozens of birds off the trees where they rested.
"Zafira."
Hayate finally spoke. Shirou wanted to be relieved, but the way she said that work made relief a very, very elusive feeling at the moment.
"Hmm?" Zafira grinned somewhat perversely. "Got something to say, Kitten-cha—"
"Shut up, Zafira."
"Yes, ma'am."
"Aaah, mou! What's taking so long?"
Shirou and Hayate had identical looks of dismay at the sight of Vita stepping into the scene. This girl…she was not even trying to disguise herself. That did not mean she was wearing her usual clothes. Her body from the waist up would be completely exposed were it not for the sarashi covering her chest. She had also replaced her usual hat with a black beret, and her dress with baggy black pants and a long overcoat of the same color.
"That look…" Shirou muttered as he witnessed the advent of an entity he thought only existed in manga.
"…Banchou?" Hayate muttered. She did not remember having those clothes in her collection.
"Indeed!" Vita responded while wearing a wicked grin on her face. "So? How does it look?"
"Waaah…" Shirou uttered as he examined the girl's incredible cosplay. "You're even chewing on a twig…"
It's called attention to detail.
"Zafira!" The red knight addressed her comrade with a commanding tone. "Why isn't Shirou punching you yet?"
"So it was supposed to end with me being punched!?" The wolf-man retorted not very happily.
"Of course! You mess with his girl, he punches you, the girl swoons, they make babies! It's clichéd because it works!"
"Nah, nah, that's just stupid," Shirou opinioned with a flat, dismissing tone.
"I'm up to the baby-making part."
"Please stay quiet for the rest of the scene, Hayate."
"Muuu…Shirou-kun, you mweanie!"
"Umm…Major…" Zafira began. "Seems like the plan's pretty much busted, so can I change out of this clothes…?"
"Saa, Emiya!" Vita, however, was deaf to her subordinate's words. "Punch him! Punch the hoodlum!"
"Why are you still at it!?"
"Mah, mah…" Vita dismissed Zafira's outrage with a lame shrug. "I just wanna see Emiya punching ya."
"You're horrible!"
"Ah, mou, whatever! Plan A has failed; retreat and wait for Plan B!" Vita announced as she began to run away. "Prepare yourself, Emiya!"
"I don't want to," Shirou muttered as he tiredly watched the departing figures of Vita and Zafira. "Actually, what the hell are you people doing…?"
They were engaged in idle, pleasant conversation in a rather small and charming café when the door abruptly opened with a rude slam. Two women stepped inside the twilit café, one of them carrying a sword and the other something that would probably look like a machine gun to a person who knows absolutely nothing about machine guns. The two had covered their faces with, of all things, Guy Fawkes masks.
"Thi-thi, this…" The magenta-haired woman, tallest of the two, stammered. "…this is a robbery!"
"OH, COME ON!" Shirou and Hayate provided a perfect simultaneous tsukkomi.
A sword was promptly pointed in her direction. A pitifully trembling sword.
"You-you-you, so…so-so, so you gu-guys want to p-play hero? Huh!?" That last part came out as some sort of squeak.
Hayate was looking at the swordswoman with all the pity she could muster. It happens to be a lot of pity.
"Et tu, Signum?"
"Urk." Shaking her head, the robber-that-was-obviously-Signum pulled herself back into her role.
"Thi-this is a robbery! Eve-eve-everybody hands up!"
"Why would you even assault a café of all things?" Shirou inquired.
"Be-be, because it's the only business worth assaulting in this part of the city!"
"There's a perfectly good bank across the street!" Shirou pointed out, his finger signaling the, yes, quite stealable bank right in front of the café.
"Um…well…"
Hayate turned her attention to the blonde woman who was doing her darnedest to remain inconspicuous.
"Aren't you embarrassed, Shamal?"
"I am!" The blonde in the Guy Fawkes mask retorted pitifully. "Extremely so."
"Then why are you…?"
"It was Signum's idea!"
A gaping couple stared at the ponytailed knight-burglar, who suddenly felt awfully uncomfortable by this situation. That is, considerably more than before.
Hayate then gave her date a pointed glance. Shirou somehow read the message encrypted in that look, and nodded his agreement.
"Signum."
The taller woman twitched at the menace in her mistress' voice.
"If you are going to mess with my date…I'm sure you must be ready to face the consequences."
"Ahh, no, Hayate-sama, this is…we did this because…"
"Explanations can wait," Hayate declared. "Right now I'm going hunting."
"I'll go get Rein-san," Shirou muttered matter-of-factly as he calmly walked out of the café.
"Haa…" Shirou sighed tiredly. Seated on his left shoulder, Reinforce Zwei offered him a rather strained, compassionate smile.
"Waa…that was one long scene skip," Hayate muttered as she watched the Mid-Childan sun descending in the far distance. However, there were larger issues at hand. "You guys."
A line of people seated in perfect seiza perked up after being addressed in an aggressive tone.
"Hey, where's Yuuno?" Zafira whispered to Chrono to his left about the one person that should be there and was not.
"He managed to get away," the young admiral replied.
"The bastard."
"What," Hayate began. "Were you thinking?" Her voice was incisive, almost desperate, as her mind just could not begin to conceive what was going through her knights' heads.
"Yes, yes, Vita here~" The red knight intervened, raising her right arm like a dedicated student. Murmurs of awe surrounded her.
"I bow before your bravery, oh great Vita," Chrono said in a fake worshipful tone.
"As the leader of this operation, I take full responsibility for it," Vita proudly declared.
"Give me back my dignity!"
"Now, I had absolutely nothing to do with that," Vita calmly responded to Signum's pathetic complaint. "The whole café-robbery thing was your plan."
"Because all your plans were terrible!"
"No, no." Chrono and Zafira spoke and shook their heads in unison. "Your plan was stupid as well."
"Mah, mah…" Vita uttered dismissively, waving her right hand in a fanning motion. "Even if the main objective was not achieved, we can say we had fun and that's good as well."
"Um," Chrono agreed.
"Sure thing," Zafira did so as well.
"Do I look like someone who had fun!?" Signum insisted. "Shamal! Say something as well…"
"…people will think I'm a pervert…" The blonde doctor muttered between bouts of sobbing, her head dropped and her fingers drawing meaningless doodles on the ground.
"Nah, nah, that's not something you have to worry about…" Vita said in a not-very-consoling manner.
More like, Shamal-san, you are already a pervert.
"I asked a question," Hayate spoke once more, her voice sharp like a steel dagger.
"Yeah, yeah…" Vita replied, her tone utterly uncaring of the venom in her mistress' voice. "Yeah, we were just creating the circumstances for Emiya to sweep you off your feet with his manliness. Because you guys are hopeless, you know."
"…how?" Shirou muttered, a distance away, as if it hurt for that word to escape his air path.
"Ju-Ju—" Hayate stammered, her face incensed as if she had just been targeted by a horrible insult. "Just what kind of person do you I think I am, to need that kind of help to pull off a date!?"
"A pervert," Vita bluntly stated.
"A pervert," Chrono agreed.
"Yup, a pervert," Zafira repeated.
"I am obliged to say a pervert," Signum admitted as well.
"Um, totally a pervert, Hayate-sama," Shamal added.
Hayate gaped.
"…yes, I guess it would be a pervert, huh…"
The mage girl's neck almost broke at the speed with which she turned it to gape at Shirou, her face the embodiment of betrayal.
"You're supposed to be on my side!"
"Ah, umm…" Shirou had the decency to look a bit guilty. It was kind of cute. "Did I say that out loud?"
"Too loud!" Hayate quickly retorted, sounding more pouty than angry.
"Indeed you did, Shirou-san," Reinforce confirmed.
"Muu…" Hayate's eyes might have been a little moist. "Seriously, you guys…"
"Now, everyone, there's nothing wrong with having an unhealthy interest in extreme intimacy—"
"Not helping, Chrono!" Hayate cried out. The windows in the Yagami residence rattled a little. "Aaaah, mou! Fine! So I'm a pervert who can't keep her hands off other people!"
She rudely pointed at Signum.
"Yes! I want to see Signum wearing a leather bodice and engaging in soft BDSM with Shamal!"
"Eeeeeeeh!?" The female elements of the crowd cried out in unison, some of them crawling backwards while still on their knees.
"And I want to rub oil on Zafira while he's only wearing a black Speedo!"
"Well, now I'm uncomfortable…" Chrono stated.
"YOU are uncomfortable!?" The Guardian Beast retorted.
"And don't get me started on some of my plans for Vita!"
"You mean it gets worse than the past ten years!?"
Shirou hesitantly looked to his left side, where Reinforce Zwei shook her head gently.
"Do not worry, Shirou-san. She is nice to me."
The young Earthling released a breath he did not know he was holding.
"I want to see Nanoha-chan dominating Shirou-kun!"
"WHY ME!?"
"Hmm…" Hayate pouted as she pondered the question. "Dunno, I guess you just look the type."
"DON'T ANSWER!"
"And Fate-chan! I don't know whether to take her for myself or ritualistically murder her and consume her flesh to gain her impossibly perfect body!"
"There are so many issues in that sentence I'm too afraid to tsukkomi!" Vita retorted in utmost outrage, pointing at her mistress like the exorcist attempting to banish an abomination from the deepest layer of Hell.
"So yes! I'm a hopeless pervert who can't control herself! But still!"
Hayate dropped her head; her shoulder-length locks of brown hair acting as a curtain to cover her eyes.
"But still…"
Shirou noted Hayate's trembling, clenched fists. It was not intuition or intelligence, but experience, which told him what was to come. He could not stop himself from smiling, even if it was a bit of a problem.
Matters of the heart, why do they have to be so complicated?
Hayate glared at the bunch of idiots she had the fortune of calling "family" and "friends".
"…when it comes to my feelings for Shirou-kun…this pervert will absolutely not lose! Hmph!"
She nodded eagerly to herself.
"Even if they've known him longer…!"
"Really, it's just six months between Fate and you…" Shirou idly commented, aware that he would be completely ignored.
"I want Shirou-kun as much as they do! So don't go telling me how to spend our time together! Don't look down on my feelings, you idiots!"
She then turned to the object of her affections.
"Shirou-kun! Get to the kitchen! The Yagami family's going on a picnic!"
"Eh!?" The Yagami family uttered in unison.
"Uh, sure," Shirou calmly acquiesced and made his way to the Yagami house's kitchen. "I guess sandwiches should be fine…"
"He agrees so easily!"
You really should know him better than that by now, guys.
"Alright, Emiya's cooking!" Vita celebrated with pumped up fists. "Yayifications!"
"You just don't give a damn anymore, do you? Do you!?" Zafira stated the obvious.
The girl just knows what's really important, Guardian Beast-san.
"Oi! That's mine, you little—!"
"My hunger is not sated, pathetic fool! Wahahahahaha!"
"You're not making any sense!"
They had made their way back to the park—it would not be much of a picnic if they did it at home. It was a strange time for a picnic, though: the sun was already down and its natural light had been replaced by even-placed lamps and the other artificial lights of Cranagan.
In all honesty, it was rather bizarre, this nighttime picnic for the Yagami family. Chrono, not being part of the family, quickly excused himself, claiming he was supposed to check on the Materials that evening.
A distance away from the others, Shirou and Hayate watched Zafira chase Vita after she had apparently stolen one of his sandwiches.
"That girl eats too much," Hayate decided.
"Ahaha…" Shirou's chuckle came out a bit strained. "She doesn't get fat, so it's okay…?"
"There! Shirou-kun, you pamper her too much!"
"Ahaha…" Shirou could not deny that. Vita loved his food more than anybody else, and expressed that love further than anybody else. Thus, Shirou loved cooking for her more than for anybody else.
He would never admit that out loud, though. He was smarter than that.
"Muu…" Hayate whined. "Sometimes I think you have more precious memories with Vita than you have with me…"
That would be because he does.
Shirou shrugged. "We spend lots of time together. It just turned out like that."
Not that he minded. Their group…had become something like a second family. Bizarre, outrageous and balls-to-the-wall dysfunctional, true, but he would be damned if he would not throw his life away for any of them.
To know they would do the same for him, with just as little hesitation…it was a bittersweet happiness.
"Help me, Shirouuuuuuuuuuuuu…!" Zafira suddenly cried out. Hayate gasped the moment she noticed Vita and Zafira running in their direction.
"Wa-wa-wa—don't come over here!" She shrieked ineffectively.
Sighing, Shirou reached for something in the backpack he had used to carry most of the food for that picnic. With the swiftness of a man who has faced Heroic Spirits and lived to tell the tale, Shirou's left hand blurred the moment Vita dashed past his seated form.
The Knight of the Hammer froze on the spot, just by Shirou's left side, thus allowing Zafira to catch up. Everyone in the vicinity watched the strange scene, brought into fruition by Vita's outrageous deceleration.
Munch, munch.
Like a little squirrel, the red knight began to delicately munch at the cookie that found its way partially into her mouth.
"Yes, got it!" Zafira exclaimed triumphantly as he plucked his sandwich off Vita's right hand. The girl, seemingly unaware of the loss, placidly attacked the chocolate cookie with petite bites. Her eyes had become disturbingly glazed. When Shirou's hand still holding one side of the cookie moved downwards, it effortlessly pulled Vita along with it until the girl plopped herself on the blanket Shirou and Hayate had placed on top of the grass.
"Yes, yes, good girl, good girl~" Shirou ruffled Vita's fiery hair like a master praising an obedient pet.
"Wafuuun~" A strange high-pitched sound escaped from the space between Vita's lips, and an impossible sweet smile blossomed on her face as she enjoyed the treat Shirou had shoved in the mouth.
"You tamed her!" Hayate finally realized. "You tamed my Vita! With food!"
"It's the reason we no longer take Vita anywhere unless Shirou's coming along as well," Zafira explained.
"…aren't you ashamed of yourself…?" Hayate mused in a low tone while she watched her (believed to be) proud Knight of the Hammer munching on homemade cookies.
"I have no reason to be ashamed of my love of good food," Vita bluntly said while licking chocolate spots off her fingers. "Umm~!" She hummed with obvious delight while stretching her arms and neck. "Really, I don't get tired of saying it! Love your food, Emiya. Thank you!"
"The pleasure is mine," Shirou kindly replied, and the red knight grinned vividly at her fellow redhead before turning to Hayate. "Besides, why don't you say anything about Signum? She's eaten about as much as I—ow!"
"Be quiet!" The sword-mistress yelled from a distance away. Vita rubbed the back of her head where she had just been struck with an empty can of soda.
Hayate chuckled a bit before addressing her smallest knight once more.
"Vita, please allow me to apologize. I…" A moment of hesitation. "I've been rather rude to you lately."
"Not just you. That Testarossa, and Nantoka as well."
"Haa…" Hayate sighed, clearly uncomfortable by the truth. "Yes…yes, we all have."
Vita nodded; her face unusually gentle despite its seriousness.
"I know it's normal to feel jealous—heck, if some girl tried to take over my position as Emiya's bro I'd go crazy as well, but…"
The small girl's gaze drifted between her mistress to Shirou, and hen back to Hayate.
"What you have with Emiya, it's special. My relationship with Emiya, I think it is special as well. The same goes for his relationship with Nanoha, and Fate, and Chrono and Yuuno and Zafira. You could perhaps even add Yuuno's twintail to that list."
She planted her hands on her knees. Shirou was reminded for some reason of that yakuza lord in Fuyuki, Fujimura Raiga.
"Emiya is special to us as well, Hayate. And not just because he's 'the guy our Mistress likes'. We don't intend to take Emiya from you three. In the same way, we won't forgive you three if you try to deny us our friend."
Looking to the side, Vita unconsciously scratched her reddened right cheek.
"Also, it annoys me that you keep forcing me to say this sentimental bullshit."
Shirou suppressed his own smile. He wanted to praise her, but he knew that would only make Vita feel more embarrassed.
"Oh, and if you deny me his food, heed my words, Hayate: I will destroy you."
"Where did all that loyalty go, I wonder…?" Hayate mused while looking at something in the far distance probably only she could see. "But anyway."
She bowed before her knight.
"I'm sorry, Vita."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'm still getting payback for that. And for snooping in out Mortal Kombat night."
"Ugh."
"And with that," Vita declared while getting back on her feet. "I leave two lovebirds to do…uhh, lovebird stuff."
"Take the rest of the cookies with you," Shirou suggested.
"Don't mind me if I do~"
And then the two were alone. Sure, the others were just a generous distance away, seated on another blanket, but for all intents and purposes, the two's conversation would remain private.
"Sorry about the date not turning out so well…" Shirou hesitantly offered.
"Ah, it was not your fault." Hayate paused. "This time."
"Urk."
Rather unsubtly, Hayate closed the distance between them until their shoulders were almost brushing.
"So…?"
Shirou frowned. He had that unmistakable feeling that he was about to jump into the pit of vipers.
"…so what?"
Indeed, Hayate promptly frowned, looking not pleased in the slightest.
"Aaah, mou! You're hopeless, Shirou-kun! Didn't I just give a heartfelt confession a while ago? It demands a proper response!"
"…ah."
Shirou kind of wished it had not come up again. His expression softened and lost its cheer, something Hayate did not fail to notice.
"Shirou-kun?"
Yes, he had been too relaxed about this. Thinking that he could just act as if nothing were happening and stick to his usual ways.
Humans don't work that way, Emiya Shirou.
He could not deny their feelings, that would be the gravest of insults. But, he was not sure he could accept them either. It was the same conclusion he had seen in that rooftop where Fate poured her heart out to him: he did not want to drag these girls with him, on the road to that Hill of Swords. Why should they partake of his hopeless, self-destructive dream? They could do so much better…
But Fate was already chained to him, most likely since the very moment his hand reached out for her for the first time. Her salvation was bound to his very existence. And Nanoha…if there was a person more obstinate than Emiya Shirou in this world, it was Takamachi Nanoha.
Besides, much as it pained him to admit it, he was as bound to Nanoha as Fate was bound to himself.
'Takamachi Nanoha Enthrallment', indeed.
"Hayate, can I…" He shook his head. This was not the right way to go at it, but… "I know I'm being unfair to you but…can I…can I have a bit more time? Right now…as I am right now, I…"
"Um, sure."
Shirou was surprised, and it showed in his face. Hayate's smile showed something very close to pity.
"I'm just happy you're finally taking our feelings seriously, Shirou-kun."
And there it was: that gripping, painful feeling in his chest. Yes, just like Nanoha and Fate, Hayate could elicit this feeling within him.
She deserved more than this. That faint glimmer of disappointment in her irises, he could not stand it. She has just said she is happy, but how could that possibly be true? Her feelings are too strong for that! Just how many times…how many times would he trample on their feelings before everything was said and done?
Become a man, Emiya Shirou.
"My…the anniversary of Dad's death."
Emiya Kiritsugu's death. Hayate…was not as acquainted with the man as she would have wished to. As far as she knew Nanoha was the one among them three who exchanged words with him on a semi-regular basis until he passed away.
The anniversary…yes, it was less than a month away, was it not?
"My answer…you will receive my answer then," Shirou decided on the spot. It was the word of a man of honor. He would not falter on this. "The three of you."
Hayate saw his decisiveness. Even if it was a risky proposal, he had taken that single, significant step forward: the willing to allow things to change. They could not be the happy band of merry friends much longer—Nanoha, Fate and Hayate herself, they wanted more. They needed more; they were not nine-year-olds anymore.
To truly become deserving of the title of "adult", Emiya Shirou needed to accept that reality. Hayate was aware of his 'dream', unforgiving and cruel that it was. She knew they were asking a lot of him—she could not begin to imagine how to reconcile Shirou's selfish wish for self-sacrifice with their own wish for him to love them. No matter what he decided, it would be utterly painful to someone, but such is the way of life and love.
To realize that her Shirou-kun had finally taken the step, or at least shown the willingness to take the step…Hayate could not stop her heart from beating faster.
The wait would be unbearable.
"Um," she allowed herself to utter. "We'll be waiting."
Shirou nodded; his faint smile still capable of displaying much gratitude.
"I love you."
The boy blinked. He had not seen that coming. At his expression, Hayate giggled.
"I needed to say that."
"Ah…um."
They remained in silence for a while, their faces flushed like shy teenagers in their first romantic outing.
"Um, Shirou-kun…will you…will you stay over at our place tonight?"
"Ah, yeah, that was the plan," Shirou answered and nodded. "Zafira wants to play basketball early tomorrow morning, so it's convenient."
Hayate's shy expression suddenly looked a considerably more…effusive.
"You can sleep with me—"
"Zafira," Shirou promptly interrupted. "I'll be sleeping in Zafira's room, Hayate."
"Tch," the girl darkly muttered to the side; her face glowing in a radiant smile just a second later. "Aah, Shirou-kun, what do you think would happen if we slept in the same room, iyan~"
"I heard that 'tch' sound, you know!"
"Also, does Zafira even have a bedroom?" Hayate mused. "All this time I swore he slept outside in the doghou—"
"THAT'S HORRIBLE!"
"Ni-he-heh~" Hayate dismissed the words with a cheeky grin Shirou thought suited Vita better. "Shirou-kuuuun~"
"Wha-wha—what's with the clinging so suddenly, you sneaky woman!"
Suddenly caught in the embrace of the girl his age, Shirou resisted albeit feebly. Really, in all honesty, why would he even want to resist? If one of the most important women in his life wanted to hold him in her arms, who was he to deny her that? It's not like they did it that often—except for Vita when he cooked for her, but that girl's just shameless like that.
To Emiya Shirou, happiness came from saving others.
He could not understand it just yet but, to Yagami Hayate, happiness came from feeling the closeness of others dear to her heart. In that moment, what to Emiya Shirou might seem like a joke; a whim from a fickle girl; was to her a precious, irreplaceable treasure. To feel his warmth against her chest and his arms closing around her small form; in that little moment of joy, she needed not ask for anything else.
"Hmph." Shirou's snort was in no way derisive. He was just amused by the whole thing. "Seriously, you sneaky woman…if you want a hug just say it."
"Really?" Hayate returned, looking up at the young man with elated eyes. "Will you always hug me? Whenever I want to?"
Shirou shrugged. Noticing a lock of hair slipping over her left eye, he gently pulled it away. Hayate's eyes glittered under the artificial lights.
"Sure. It's all part of the 'Hero of Justice' thing."
The brunette raised an eyebrow.
"So that's the excuse you're going for?"
"I'm sticking to it," Shirou solemnly stated.
The hand that still lingered close to Hayate's hair slid down, subtly caressing the young mage's left cheek. Hayate sighed contently, slightly tilting her head seeking further contact.
"…have you done this with the others as well?"
Shirou frowned.
"Weren't you the one who scolded me for bringing up the others when it's the two of us?"
Hayate's eyes widened for a moment, right before releasing a brief chuckle.
"You got me there."
They smiled; full smiles that reached all the way to their brimming eyes. Hayate's hands sneakily slid over Shirou's chest to reach over his shoulders and around his neck.
"Shirou-kun…"
It was then that Emiya Shirou became aware of how close they were, and immediately caught wind of what the girl was aiming for.
"Ha…Hayate…"
Really, he should have expected this. She had always been the most forward of the three; she would obviously not be satisfied merely with a tender, romantic moment.
He only had an instant to decide: to accept her? To push her away?
Shirou closed his eyes. Hayate did so as well, puckering her lips just a little—
"Oi, Emiya, I ran out of cooki—gebogh!"
An empty hemp basket bounced off Vita's face.
"Read the goddamned mood, damn it!"
The Mistress of the Night Sky was a very frustrated woman that evening.
WEAPONS' DAY – End