"Az?"

"Mmmm?" We were sat on the sand, my head on his shoulder and his left arm and wing wrapped around me, just like it had been for the sunset the night before. We'd been like this for a while, that silence hanging between us. I wasn't sure where his thoughts were, but mine were spiraling out of control.

I was sure not all kisses felt like that.

"It was gross," Deana, my best friend in Thornhill said. We were old enough to start taking an interest in males and she'd just had her first kiss.

"No magic."

Don't be silly," Deana said, "You don't feel magic after a kiss. It's just a kiss and that was a bad one."

"Sometimes there's magic," My mother walked into the kitchen with lunch and I wrinkled my nose.

Indeed, my mother was right. My heart was still hammering in my chest, my skin tingling where we touched. But what could I even say without sounding pathetic?

"Are you okay?" I asked. Well that was pathetic, I scolded myself.

"Yes… Yes I am." His voice still soft, a whisper on the wind.

"Should we get going?" I sat up and concern was etched on his face, his posture going tense. "I'm fine," I reassured him, giving him a gentle kiss. He relaxed again. "Just hungry, that's all." He wrapped his arms around me and then we suddenly in front of the town house, landing in the front garden.

I raised my eyebrows and he smiled, "They've got plenty of food."

"I'm sure they have."

Azriel didn't even knock before leading me into the hallway. I'd not been inside the previous day but it was just as I had imagined it- homely, cosy and beautiful. And warm. I rubbed my hands together, enjoying the breezeless air.

"Can I help you, spymaster?" Rhys drawled from the top of the stairs. He glanced to where I was stood next to Azriel and smiled. "Mayar, nice to see you again."

"They're here for lunch," Elain waved an arm as she walked past us and into what I assumed was the kitchen.

"Well it's just as well we cooked plenty," Feyre nudged her mate out of the way and walked down the stairs. She took my hand, "Come and sit by the fire, you feel freezing."

I glanced back but Azriel had disappeared. As had the High Lord. Typical. Just when I was panicking inside.

"Why are you so… sandy?" She glanced down at my boots.

"Oh, we went for a walk along the beach this morning." I replied, simply but Feyre smiled.

"Of course, we have a wonderful beach here. You'll love the ocean in the summer," She glanced at my wings. "Can you… swim?"

"I'm not really sure," I admitted. "I suppose the wings could weigh us down if the water was too deep?"

She looked thoughtful for a moment and nodded. "Well I don't know where those Illyrian babies went, but why don't we grab some lunch?"

The Illyrian Babies were back just after we'd started eating. Azriel's face was unreadable as he sat down beside me and Feyre glanced between her mate and spymaster, trying to decipher their facial expressions. Although the way she looked at Rhys made me wonder if they were having their own private conversation. Just not aloud. All was quiet and this time lunch felt like an uncomfortable silence.

"Az?" I turned to him as we landed on one of the balconies at the House of Wind. "Have I done something wrong?"

"You could never do anything wrong," His eyes softened as he looked at me. "It's me." His voice sounded pained. "I… I don't deserve you."

I followed him through the glass doors and into the reception room, my hands on my hips. "Why… why would you even say that?"

"I'm a spymaster, Mayar, I've done terrible things and I'd do them all again if it meant my people were safe…my family."

I stepped in front of him, hands on hips, "Then we have that in common. I wanted to kill them, Az, those Ironcrest scum," My eyes blazed. "I only got out because I promised my father I would. But I was there… sword in hand… knives at the ready… I wanted to torture them, to destroy their wings, to…" I stopped myself and took a breath. "Az, I see you. I see all of you." I edged closer to him. "You're gentle, loyal, kind… an excellent listener. You are good and I see it." I placed a hand on his cheek and he looked at me, blazing hazel eyes. "I've never been afraid of you."

He took in a deep breath and I wondered if that was the first breath he'd taken since we'd landed on the balcony. "I'm glad," he said, softly. "And when it's time, I will come with you to kill those warriors." A promise, I was sure. I sealed it with a kiss.

We had dinner together in the House of Wind. Sent up to us by Nuala and her sister. There was no Mor, no Cassian. Just us and for that, I was grateful. And after dinner Azriel dragged a sofa onto one of the balconies and we sat together, looking at the city below. His fingers caressed my hands, my neck, my check, anywhere where my skin was exposed and I was afraid I would purr like a cat as the sensation had my skin tingling. A word had popped into my head several times already, but I wasn't sure. I had nothing to compare this to and my mother had said they were so, so rare.

A shooting star sped by and I gasped, "Did you see that?"

"I did," He murmured, nuzzling against my cheek.

"I hear you're supposed to wish for something when you see one," I told him and he smiled before kissing my cheek.

"So what did you wish for?"

"I can't say or it won't come true," A soft chuckle.

There was a clatter from inside the house and we turned our heads to see Cassian picking up something he'd knocked over, "I'm not here!" He called and Azriel snorted.

"This is why I am the spymaster."

"I heard that!" A retort from the General.

Azriel only pulled me closer, onto his lap.

"Are my wings not in the way?" I asked and he shook his head.

"Not at all." His own wrapped around me and I glanced over at him.

"Are your wings the biggest?" I asked. His eyes widened at the question and a smirk appeared on his face.

"Yes," He said, simply.

"Liar!" Cassian called from inside.

"Shall we measure, brother?"

Cassian didn't respond. Well, I suppose that settled it then.

I glanced down at the knife, still strapped to his belt, even now. "Does it have a name?"

"Truth-teller," He told me, unsheathing it. He held it out in front of him and then handed it to me. The hilt looked like obsidian to me and I spotted the Illyrian runes on it. It was light, but I had no doubt it would cause a hell of a lot of damage.

"So it helps to find out the truth?"

"Yes," he murmured, placing a kiss to my neck.

"I'm having a wonderful evening." I told him and he smiled.

"So you are."

Every bone in my body wanted me to invite Azriel to stay in my room. So that I could curl up beside him and drift into sleep with ease, but instead I'd been sensible and kissed him goodnight, sleeping alone.

Breakfast was brought to me the next morning and I took a mental picture of Azriel looking sleepy with ruffled hair and stubble as he bent down to give me a kiss. I was going to miss him, I realized, the uncertainty of when I'd next see him hanging in the air.

Too soon I was back in Windhaven and it was like falling back down to reality. The camp, with its wooden and stone houses was a far cry from the luxury views I'd had for the past few days. I was lucky, I reminded myself, to have been able to explore somewhere new. And my reminders, my new jumpers and dress, were in my bag, as a reminder that it had happened and wasn't a dream. With a chaste kiss, Azriel winnowed back and I was left in Emerie's shop.

"Nice time?" She asked, walking through from the kitchen at the sound of the bell chiming.

"Yes, it was lovely," I replied, feeling the heat rise on my cheeks.

She simply nodded. "Oh something came for you yesterday." She reached into her apron pocket and pulled out a key. I picked it up with a frown. "Your house is ready, it would seem."

"My… house?"

"This was only a temporary arrangement, she reminded me, but now there's a house ready for you a few doors down from Lina's."

I blinked looking down at the key. Sneaky bastards. I packed up the little stuff I owned, promising to be back and helping in the shop tomorrow, and headed in search of my new property. Sure enough it was just two houses away from Lina's, tucked away from the main square. A small house, but cosy. I unlocked the door and saw there was a small living room with a loveseat sofa and an armchair and a shelf filled with books. There was a kitchen with a dining room with space for four and at the back of the house were two double bedrooms, each with a dresser and dressing table in. I even found a cupboard for storing my weapons and armour. I spotted a small note on the coffee table and opened it carefully.

Thought your promotion was worth getting your own place. Don't blame me, blame Rhys and Az.

~ Cassian

And as I stared down at the piece of paper and pencil that sat there, I recalled an important letter that I'd written that fateful night. The night that everything had changed. A letter that had never been sent.