Chapter 26
Solas was wrapping up a journal article called Clinical and MRI phenotypes of Fade-Divergent Neural Processing at his kitchen table when he heard a knock at the door. There was only one person in all of Thedas he knew that could successfully evade the excessive security of his apartment building and make it to his door without setting off a half-dozen alarms: The Nightingale.
He had been avoiding Leliana since his last mission. It was a tad passive-aggressive, but the experience of walking into a Venatori trap and being forced to jump over a cliff edge had left him feeling a bit sour, especially after airing his concerns with the spymistress before departure. There had been a few awkward phone calls between the two, but overall, Solas was ignoring his obligations to the Inquisition. Whatever those commitments were.
Solas walked over, keying in the code to open the door and allow her in.
He was greeted by a chastened-looking Leliana, wearing her usual aubergine tracksuit. She was holding a large bottle of Antivian red wine Solas recognized as both very hard to find, as well as expensive. He couldn't help but appreciate the peace offering. It would be good to clear the air.
Truthfully, his friend's unexpected visit brought him a sense of relief. It had been a week since Solas had fled Ellana's apartment in the middle of the night. Solas couldn't count how many times he had taken out his phone, and thought about calling Ellana, only every explanation he came up with either seemed outlandish or put the scholar in further danger.
Leliana was the only person Solas could ask for advice.
"May I come in?" She asked. Her voice was light, but Solas knew the spymistress well enough to detect a hint of remorse.
"Please" Solas replied, gesturing for her to sit down on the living room couch while he walked to the kitchen to retrieve two wine glasses and a corkscrew. It wasn't until after the bottle was opened and a generous glass had been poured for them that the two old war buddies began to talk.
"I should have listened to you about Alexius," Leliana admitted. "I underestimated him."
"Yes. Yes, to both."
"I am sorry."
"I accept your apology," Solas replied a tad bit more coldly than he intended.
"I-I wanted to also," Leliana's voice trailed off. "This is a bit awkward. I don't want you to think I'm surveilling your activity that closely."
"Yes?" Solas was certain Leliana was going to ask about Ellana.
"Agent Blackwall, who, as you know, is stationed in Dr. Lavellan's apartment building, saw you leave last week, late at night. He-well, he was worried you looked upset. I wanted to ask-"
"You are correct. Things did not go well. I expect you are here to lecture me on the complexity of mixing our work with personal matters."
"Solas, I-I. No, actually. I thought you might need a friend."
"You might change your mind now that she knows I'm a dreamer."
"What! How?" Leliana sounded more concerned than annoyed.
Solas summarized the shared dream in Haven, excluding several specific interludes of how he and Ellana had passed the time. That was easy enough to guess. He knew the pain in his voice was evident, and he made no effort to hide it. When he finished, Leliana had leaned back, her expression thoughtful. Solas knew enough not to interrupt her before she was ready. The spymistress was a strategic creature, managing a Gordian knot of information and subterfuge. Sometimes it took her a few minutes to sort through her mental files before arriving at a succinct answer.
Her assessment was unexpected.
"You're falling in love with Dr. Lavellan. It would be easier if you weren't."
"That is a tad hyperbolic, don't you think?"
Solas tried to stifle a sigh. He knew that his feelings for Ellana were strong. Calling it love was premature. He did, however, have to recognize the effect that the art historian had on him in a short amount of time since he had found her struggling that morning to locate her classroom. He had barely slept since leaving her apartment. Anytime he paused, he was gripped by memories of her anger.
It had been bearable when she had simply hated him outright. Now that he knew she reciprocated his feelings, it was true heartbreak.
Creators, the way it felt to touch her.
"Telling her the truth only puts her in more danger-all of Thedas into danger— after all, if she is captured and aids the Evanurius-willingly or not—." Leliana pondered out loud, refilling Solas' glass almost to the brim before topping off her own.
Solas shuddered. The thought of Ellana captured frightened him in a way he couldn't fully comprehend.
"Only, if I don't, there is no hope of us ever being together."
"Do you want to be in a relationship? With Andruill roaming around Thedas, she could show up at your door any moment-being with Dr. Lavellan means opening a lot of potential wounds."
"It is difficult to say. I-I have never felt this way about someone. She is a rare and marvelous spirit. As you say, however, there are risks."
"I'm sorry Solas, I did not ever anticipate such circumstances when I messaged you that book."
"An Andrastian like yourself might argue it was fate."
"And the Elves?"
"The will of nature purifying my misdeeds through punishment. Or offering me the opportunity to correct them. Fate is more pluralistic in that pantheon."
"What will you do?" Leliana asked, relaxing into the plush sofa.
"I was hoping you might have a suggestion."
"Help me bring Andruill to justice. Then, we can locate the Orb once and for all, tuck it safely away-."
"That is quite the ordeal you are asking of me, Leiliana."
"Solas," Leliana said, her voice uncharacteristically emotional, "I need your help. Y-you are the only one who knows the Evanuris this well. Who knows how they operate. Who would know what to do with the Orb-"
"Somewhat ironically, Dr. Lavellan's research might be more useful here. She is perhaps the only other scholar who has similarly explored such concepts through reconstructing how the ancient elves melded their lives to the Fade through the artifacts they built and the rituals they performed with them."
"Her scholarship seems helpful for understanding the historical record, but-"
"I think the mistake that many scholars-scientists and art historians alike-often make is that they don't recognize how closely aligned the brain is to the works it produces. One could argue that artists manipulate-or amplify-the variability of the brain in the objects and images they craft. Think of paintings or sculptures as a subjective MRI machine. I'm skeptical that the ancient elves were actively thinking of neural correlates of the objects they made but-"
"Only most of the artifacts that are left respond directly to willpower and magic." Leliana finished for him, "Like the Eluvians. Think where you want to go, and the Eluvian will take you there!"
Solas chuckled a bit to himself. He knew Leliana had several pristine Eluvians in secure storage; their abilities secreted away except for a few elite members of the government. She had shown him one once, allowing him to activate it with his magic. If the public knew that the broken shards and frames they saw in museums had intact and functional cousins, there would be mass outrage.
"Correct. What makes her scholarship so interesting is not what it means only for the waking world, but also understanding of the Fade. By identifying the purposes of an Elvhen artifact, Dr. Lavellan determines how the Fade worked not only in the past, when magic was stronger, but also how it might be used in the future, should the effects be reversed. She might not be interested in solving those problems, but such answers are there at her fingertips."
Solas held up his empty glass and then the bottle. Seeing that there was no wine left, he stood up again, walking over to the wine cellar in the kitchen, pulling out one of his more luxurious reserves before walking out with two more full glasses.
"So, how does this relate to the Orb?" Leliana asked, nodding her thanks for another serving of wine.
"From what I understand, the foci was made to allow the wielder to shape, physically, the immaterial elements of the Fade and make them material-and vice versa-It isn't so much the potential to tear down the Veil, but to maximize the mind's potential to bridge the Fade and the physical world simultaneously together. More about proximity than absolutes. Rather poetic if you think of it, an alignment of nature and its forces in perfect harmony. Very Elvhen."
"So it has an infinite number of possibilities as far as magic is concerned?"
"If one had the correct primer, then that could be presumed. Or perhaps more accurately, the right mind to envision such things."
"And if magic vanishes?" Leliana appeared deep in thought.
"Then, the Orb might not do much for you." Solas paused before continuing, "The threads of both worlds are needed to activate it."
"Where do you think the Orb went? It has been so many years since I thought of it-"
"There are legends, of course. The King of the Elves and all that. It was present when Arlathan fell-the ancient one-not the modern-day revival. If you read some of the stories carefully, it sounds like it might have even played a part in the Elves' undoing. Its origin story doesn't sound quite unlike a modern physicist's desire to tear an atom apart. You'd have to find an art historian or archeologist to tell you where it went after that. Maybe Halamshiral?"
"An art historian who specializes in elven artifacts?" Leliana teased. "You know there are only three. One of whom you are acquainted with."
"This is a dark comedy," Solas mused, taking a deep glug of his wine. The alcohol was starting to go to his head. "There is meaning in everything if you know where to look for it. A shame to think that humans never thought that elves had much value, or they might have kept better records. Only perhaps, that is a twist of Andrastian fate, such negligence keeps us from imminent destruction."
Leliana was silent, sitting across from Solas. His head felt dizzy. A thought came to him. One he had kept to himself for over a decade.
It was time to confess.
"Leliana, I've never told you this before."
Solas took a sip of his wine, swirling the liquid in the soft fluorescent light in his living room.
"Yes, Solas" Leliana's voice sounded bored. That was about to change.
"I can confirm that the Orb of Destruction is real."
"How?"
"I've seen it."