Fili strode through darkened hallways, heading toward the dragon levels. It would be another ten minutes or so before Bilba would head out to start wandering the mountain, eventually ending at the battlements to watch the merchants come in.

He didn't meet her at her bedroom because she didn't sleep there. She slept with Syrath.

He didn't have to ask why. The night watch had been alerted by her screams multiple times and had rushed to her room, convinced an assassin had made their way in.

The nightmares made it impossible for her to sleep alone and Dwalin had added a new layer when he'd commented the fact she was under stone, as she had been in Moria, probably amplified them. It had occurred to Fili after Dwalin ahd pointed that out that none of the other Moria survivors lived within Erebor. The realization she did it because it was where he lived ate at him. He'd had an idea about how to help, at least a little, but hadn't had a chance to speak to his uncle about it yet with all the chaos going on over his Coming of Age and his uncle dealing with the dignitaries streaming in.

In the meantime, Bilba had begun going to Syrath. Once she did the nightmares seemed to have stopped.

In the week since Nori had given him the idea of giving up sleep to spend time with Bilba, a more than worthwhile trade in his view, Fili had fallen into the habit of going to the dragon levels and waiting against the wall until she came out. He didn't go in; instead treating the massive room beyond almost like it was her bedroom and giving her privacy until she'd woken up.

He felt the shift in his mind that signified Syrath's presence, the dragon undoubtedly smelling his approach.

She left already.

Fili stopped in surprise.

She did? Where'd she go?

The training room.

Fili frowned in confusion. There's no one in there yet.

I think that was the point.

Fili walked through the door as Syrath finished the sentence. The dragon was near the entrance, curled in a ball with his head resting on his tail. Xalanth was sleeping near him, his head tucked under a wing and his sides moving in the slow rhythm of sleep.

She had a bad day yesterday, Syrath continued, so I think she went to try and work it off before she saw you. She didn't want to take it out on you.

Fili hadn't seen her the day before, with the exception of training in the morning of course. He saw her during the night of course, sometimes earlier, sometimes later depending on his own exhaustion. In the week he'd been doing it, he made sure to be there in time to watch the merchants come in with her at the very least.

She was out with Vanguard yesterday wasn't she? She hadn't been at lunch or dinner. Vanguard didn't go out every day, sometimes they didn't go out during the day at all but went during the night, evening or morning.

It would defeat the purpose, after all, if they kept to a routine that the orcs could learn and then avoid.

Yes, Syrath responded. Dwalin went. They ran into some orcs and Bilba did a good job so Dwalin told her so.

Okay? Fili said in confusion. What's wrong with that?

Syrath huffed, lifting his head to arch over Fili and forcing him to look up. She liked the praise but it came from Dwalin.

The tone of voice he used made it sound like what he was saying should be obvious and, really, Fili supposed it should be.

Even though she'd barely been with them a month, everyone was well aware of Bilba's feelings toward Dwalin. According to his mother, the open hate she displayed toward Erebor's Captain of the Guard could only spring from something deeply personal. It wasn't that Dwalin reminded her of someone else; it was Dwalin specifically that she despised.

Which made no sense as Dwalin swore he'd never met her. The best theory anyone could come up with had to do with Bilba's hobbit heritage. Dwalin's wife had been a hobbit and not just any hobbit but the favorite daughter of the Thain of the Shire, the closet thing the hobbits had to a king. When she'd been killed the Thain had blamed Dwalin. He'd never approved of the marriage, believing it pulled his daughter away from a respectable, peaceful, and safe life.

Her death, in the Thain's eyes, had been the proof he'd been right.

Dwalin had not been welcome back in the Shire in the Thain's lifetime and, though the hobbit had been dead for years now, Dwalin had not returned. It was possible Dwalin's name had been muddied in the Shire, due to the old Thain's grief and anger. Bilba was the right age to have been born right after Belladonna's death. What if she'd been born to one of Belladonna's sisters or another relative and then had been raised listening to the Thain rage against Dwalin?

Fili didn't personally buy into that that theory and was fairly sure his mother at least and possibly Dwalin didn't either. The grudge Bilba carried seemed too personal to be one that ultimately belonged to someone else. They'd also met other hobbits from the Shire, and dwobbits who'd chosen to come to Erebor upon reaching their majority, and had never heard of anything of the sort. Most didn't seem to know who Dwalin was, much less that he'd ever been married to a hobbit woman now decades dead.

The only way to know for sure was to ask Bilba but she'd refused to speak about it and no one wanted to push and raise painful memories just to satisfy their own curiousity. At some point she'd ended up in Moria after all. Most likely the same way all the slaves in Moria ended up there, through raids on caravans. She'd spoken of her mother in the past tense and the fact she made no mention of any other family, and had been on her own for years with Syrath, suggested there was no one else, though whether it was because they'd died in the attack, in Moria, or had never been around at all was unclear.

Fili personally went with the second given the nightmares he'd heard her having when she'd been ill. In any event, there was no reason to try and force her to remember better times before she'd been a slave in Moria just to satisfy their own curiosity.

She hadn't made any move to try and harm Dwalin after all and he, in turn, had simply stated it was his problem and he would handle it.

Fili had yet to see Dwalin doing anything of the sort but the rest of them had respected his request and left it alone.

For the most part.

She still hasn't told you why she's so angry at him?

Syrath heaved a sigh. She doesn't tell me lots of things. She thinks I'm a child.

Fili raised an eyebrow. You are a child.

The dragon moved so he could stare at Fili with an eye nearly the size of Fili's head. You are not helping.

Fili snorted. Tell you what. I'll go let her kick my ass for a bit. That should make her feel better.

Syrath put his head down again. She doesn't want to kick your ass. She wants to kick Dwalin's. It makes Xalanth upset. He wants to be mad at her but then that would make me upset so we both end up upset.

Have you tried talking to her about it?

No, the answer came back immediately, then she'd feel guilty and her nightmares would get worse. They're bad enough as it is.

Fili hesitated. Syrath had never mentioned her nightmares before. She hadn't either. They both tended to act like they simply didn't happen.

From what the guards have reported, I can't picture what worse would look like.

Syrath's head shifted, still lying on the ground but moving to look away into the main cavern. They can get worse. She could start crying. I don't like it when she cries.

I can't imagine her crying, Fili said. A pang ran through him as he tried to picture it.

Syrath didn't change his position, still looking off at something only he could see. Everybody cries. She's cried enough though.

On that we can both agree, Fili said.

He bid his dragon good-bye and left after that, heading toward the training room.

As he did he thought about the fact that, even after a month, he still barely knew Bilba. She gave away little of herself, not to him, not even to Syrath.

About the only thing anyone did see of her was her hatred and anger toward orcs and Dwalin.

He'd seen glimpses of another side of her. The way she acted toward Syrath, the way she appeared to value honor, integrity and honesty and readily gave the same in return. Syrath said she was trying to work off her irritation to avoid taking it out on him, a sign of how much she valued and attempted to protect those she chose to let in, even if it meant protecting them from herself.

He picked up his pace toward the training room.

He wanted to get to know her better. He was beginning to suspect the anger had become, in part at least, a shield she held between herself and the world around her. It kept everyone else out but also kept her locked inside.

She'd lowered it a little for him, a fact for which he was eternally grateful. He'd assumed, given the lack of a soul bond, that she hadn't completely lowered it even for Syrath but he'd believed it would be farther down for the young dragon than anyone else. To find out she kept herself back even from Syrath was disquieting.

Having not even a single confidant, someone she could tell anything to, could talk to when she needed it…it had to be lonely.

The training room came into view and he entered to see Bilba in the center. She was wielding a practice sword and working diligently to slaughter a few of the training dummies with it.

Fili made his way forward to join her.

He didn't know if he could get to the point where she would allow him as a confidant.

He did know two things, however.

One, that he would never know if he didn't try.

Two was that Bilba was more than worth the effort.

Bilba slashed viciously at the wooden dummy, barely remembering to adjust her feet to the proper stance as she did.

The last thing she wanted to do was anything that bastard had taught her but she wasn't fool enough to ignore legitimate training just to spite him.

She still couldn't believe she'd smiled at him. They'd been set upon by a sizable group of orcs just outside the borders of Mirkwood, between the forest and the mountain. It was unusual, the second such group since the one she and Fili had destroyed, and the first real challenge she'd had since that fight.

Once the attack had begun the orcs had fled under the trees into the woods. That had made it impossible for Xalanth and Syrath to help without risking damage to the forest, something the elves would not appreciate.

Bilba and the rest of Vanguard had followed and the ensuing fight had been as intense as it had been exhilarating. Bilba had watched Dwalin's back as much as she had anyone elses. Fighting in a group required trust, she couldn't expect Vanguard to watch her back if she wasn't willing to do the same for every last one of them, no matter her personal feelings.

After it was over her adrenaline had been racing, her battle senses on edge. She'd felt a sense of camaraderie with them even though she'd barely spoken to any of the others yet. When Dwalin had complimented her on her fighting she had reacted without thinking and smiled at him.

At the bastard.

It made her sick.

She swung the sword savagely, watching as it struck the practice dummy. Wood splintered and cracked, pieces flying off into various directions.

It was his fault her mother was dead.

His.

Fault.

Not hers. It was his.

Tears burned at the back of her eyes and she viciously stabbed the dummy so hard her wooden sword broke. She threw it down to the right where it joined the shattered pieces of four other swords, and grabbed a new one from the pile of swords she'd dumped on her left.

Fili passed her on her left. She'd sensed someone enter and he'd sent a light brush against her shields, just enough to let her identify him.

He grabbed a practice sword of his own and twirled it easily in one hand as he turned to face her. "It's always more effective to train against a live opponent."

I'm really not in a great mood, Bilba growled. I don't have the best control sometimes.

As the bastard had so helpfully pointed out on her first day training. She struggled to get herself back under control, her rage boiling just under the surface with a severity that made it feel like her skin was itching.

Fili grinned. "I helped train Kili. I'll be fine, believe me."

Bilba was still hesitant but squared off against him. When it became clear she wasn't going to start, Fili did, moving forward and sending a light blow at her that she easily parried.

The next one was slightly harder and faster, as was the one after that, until Bilba finally started responding. They settled into a cadence after that. Bilba knew from the first time he'd sparred with her that he was holding back, but he was by no means going easy on her. The shock from the blows he landed vibrated along her arms and she was soon breathing heavily, sweat beading on her forehead and trailing down her face.

She appreciated it. She didn't want to be coddled. The orcs would certainly never coddle her. She let herself go after that, allowing the anger still flowing through her to give power to her blows.

"You're still not controlling your emotions," Fili said with a grunt as he blocked a blow, only to twist suddenly and send a leg sweeping at her knees. Bilba jumped, clearing the attack and returned one of her own, managing to land it hard enough that it drove him back a step.

I told you I wasn't in a good mood.

He grinned. "True enough."

He shut up after that and let her fight him, the anger and rage siphoning off little by little until, finally, it was gone entirely. By that time they were both drenched in sweat and breathing hard. Bilba's arms were shaking so badly she could barely lift her sword but it was Fili who stepped away and raised a hand to call a halt, his chest heaving as he fought for breath.

"You'll just keep going until you drop won't you?" he gasped, leaning forward to catch his breath.

It's a habit from the Arena, Bilba answered. If you stopped you died, so I never did.

She honestly wasn't sure she would know how to stop even if she wanted to.

Fili gave her an unreadable look before straightening and heading toward a bench. There was a fountain next to it and he leaned over to get a drink, before splashing water over his face and sitting down with a heavy thud onto the wooden seat.

Bilba followed and copied his actions before sitting next to him.

The area still reminded her of the Arena. She could almost see the dark stains coating the floor, smell the stink of sweat and fear, and hear the din of orcs roaring for her blood.

She shivered and forced herself to take a deep breath, pushing the memories away.

What's the worst thing you've ever fought? She asked Fili.

Fili grimaced. He was still fighting for air so he switched to speaking via link.

You've heard about someone with a grudge against my family?

Bilba nodded. She'd heard. It was the reason Fili went around with a personal escort all the time. They tended to hang back when he was with her but they were always there. At the moment they were probably just outside the door leading to the training area.

A pair of professional assassins managed to get in, Fili went on. They actually scaled the backside of Erebor and came over the balcony into my room, a problem which has since been fixed by the way. When I retired for the night they waited for me to go into the bathroom and blocked my bedroom door. Then they tried to kill me.

He reached up as he spoke, absently rubbing at his shoulder as though remembering an old injury.

No one could get to me through the door because they'd blocked it but they didn't take into account the secret passages built into each room. Only the royal family knows how to open them. My mother, brother and father happened to be out of the mountain but, fortunately, my uncle was present. He came in along with Dwalin and a large number of the guard. By that time I'd managed to dispatch one of the assassins but the other… his jaw tightened, it was a close thing. He looked at her. What about you? What's the hardest thing you fought?

Cave troll, Bilba said instantly.

Fili's eyes went wide. By yourself?

The orcs aren't exactly fair, Bilba said, but they usually want to watch a fight, so they'll take some care about what they pit you against.

And the other times? Fili asked. When it's a cave troll?

Bilba shrugged. Then they just want to watch you die.

You didn't though, Fili responded. He shifted on the bench, his breathing slowly starting to return to normal.

I couldn't, Bilba said. Not yet. There was an orc I had to kill first.

Just one? Fili asked. I thought you wanted to kill all of them.

Bilba studied the center of the training ring. In her mind the dirt ran red and the sharp tang of iron stung her nostrils. Her body heaved for oxygen and her body shook from fear and adrenaline.

Surrounding her was a legion of orcs. Azog sat in the place of prominence, a seat raised above the others. He looked pleased and she had to resist trying to throw her sword at him.

It hadn't gone well the last time she'd tried.

Beside him…beside him…

Bilba surged to her feet and stepped away from the bench. Fili stood and came to stand beside her.

"Bilba? Are you okay?"

She grabbed another sword and raised it. Ready for another round?

He nodded and retrieved his own sword. "Sure."

Your Coming of Age thing is tonight, isn't it? Bilba asked.

It is, Fili agreed, allowing her to change the subject. You'll be there right?

I don't do well in crowds. As she spoke she moved and started the new round. They moved slower, focusing more on technique and form than on trying to work her anger out.

I'll stay with you, Fili promised, and I'm sure my mother will as well. Aragorn will be there.

Bilba scowled. She did want to see Aragorn.

You're supposed to form a soul bond with Syrath, aren't you?

She was pleased that she said it without so much as a waver in her emotions. In the month she'd been there, even with part of it spent unconscious, she'd settled into a belief that Fili's addition wasn't going to result in her losing Syrath.

She still…she still felt a slight twinge at the thought of the two of them soul bonded, however. Not because she would lose either of them but because it would give them an added layer she wouldn't be a part of.

Supposed to, Fili agreed, but won't be.

Bilba stopped, her sword dropping to her side. What?

Fili lowered his own sword. I already talked to Syrath about it. We're going to wait until you're ready. My family knows and is fine with it. As for everyone else – he shrugged. Soul bonding is usually done in private anyway between the rider, dragon and second rider if there is one. I waited a long time for a dragon. I can wait a bit longer to soul bond with the two of you.

Bilba gaped at him. You want a soul bond with me too?

"Of course," Fili said, his eyes meeting her. "You're my second rider."

His words brought an odd sense of disappointment. She didn't know why and didn't give it much thought to be honest. She was more concerned with the rest of what he'd said.

He wanted a soul bond with her and planned to wait until she was ready.

What if I'm never ready? she couldn't help but ask. The thought still terrified her. She would be allowing them closer than anyone had ever been. She wouldn't be able to hide the true depths of her anger.

She wouldn't be able to hide who Dwalin was from them.

She wouldn't be able to prevent her nightmares from leaking along the bonds and infecting them as they slept.

They would see the truth if they bonded with her. Past the hatred, past the anger and rage, past Orcrist.

To who she really was.

Useless.

So desperately useless.

A helpless little girl who couldn't save anyone.

She didn't want them to see, either of them. Once it had just been Syrath, but now Fili was slowly starting to carve out a place for himself as well. If it kept going the way it was she could see him one day having a spot alongside Syrath.

"I guess I'll be waiting a long time then," Fili cut in, bringing her back to the moment. He raised his sword again. "Shall we?"

Bilba nodded and raised her weapon.

She cared about him.

She wanted to keep him, him and Syrath both.

She wanted to run from them and never look back.

He shook his head suddenly and pointed to her feet, moving one of his to correct her stance.

Bilba swallowed and nodded, adjusting as he wanted before engaging him again.

Things had been so simple before coming to Erebor. Since she'd arrived it had begun to feel more and more like she stood in the midst of a maelstrom. She didn't know which way to go or what to do.

Fili blocked her and then used his forward momentum to shove her back, knocking her onto her back.

His hand came out immediately and she grabbed it, allowing him to pull her back to her feet.

His hand was warm and left hers tingling when he released it.

She hated being touched, but was quickly finding she didn't mind so much when it was Fili.

Another thing to confuse her.

She went after him again.

She felt like she stood on ground that was crumbling away under her feet.

She didn't know what the right course of action was.

She didn't know which way to go.

So, in the end, she would do the one thing she did know.

The one thing she was good at.

She would stand her ground.

And she would fight until she found her way.

If she ever did.