26
RENEE hadn't spoken a word to anyone since she'd discovered Billy's body. Not a word in three days, though the morning of the poor Muggle boy's funeral came to London on a dreary Sunday morning, and Renee Barreau showed no signs of wanting to attend, though she was dressed for it, Tonks noticed, in a simple long-sleeved black dress and boots.
Tonks pursed her lips into a thin line as she gingerly knocked, her knuckles white-boned as she, as suspected, heard nothing from the closed bedroom door of the spare room upstairs in Sirius's house.
Letting out a tired sigh, she set the tray down outside the door in case Renee got hungry later, and stomped, yes, quite literally stomped her way downstairs. Tonks was frustrated, to say the least.
She knew she and Lupin should have gone with Barreau. If they had, maybe they could have apprehended Everett before he'd killed Billy. A pang of fear pricked at her heartstrings.
What if he were to ever come after Teddy? The thought made the wife and mother's blood boil as she headed to the kitchens, bruising her hands on the skirts of her black dress, and tugging on a lock of her hair.
Tonks knew if that bastard ever came after her or her son or Remus, her code aside as an Auror be Merlin damned, she'd kill him, risking Azkaban all over again.
"No matter what," Tonks whispered hoarsely as she lifted her gaze and was met with the forlorn-looking sight of Sirius, looking rather haggard, with Lupin sitting next to him, a hand over his shoulders.
He blearily glanced up with his red-rimmed eyes, cracked at the edges, his voice much hoarser than his cousin had ever heard him. "Barreau? How is she?"
Sirius pursed his lips into a thin line, knowing it was a little pushing to ask after the young woman.
None of the rest of the Order had barely seen Renee Barreau since Sirius brought her back to Headquarters a few days ago, though the gossip was rampant among the other members about the nature of Sirius and Renee's possible relationship, the whispers followed Sirius wherever he went, and Tonks and Lupin could both plainly see that it was starting to have a heavy effect on the man.
There were darkened circles under his eyes, his cheekbones almost hollow and sunken in. He was working himself to death as a distraction, not sleeping at all.
"Renee is…" Tonks started to say, glancing towards Lupin first for confirmation before reluctantly turning her gaze back to Sirius, with false-optimism, her voice sounding much too sweet, before looking into her cousin's heart and feeling her shoulders slump in defeat at the look on Sirius's face. "She is…not doing so well, Sirius. I can't lie to you. She won't eat at all," Tonks sighed, pulling out the chair across the way from Lupin and Black and sitting down, propping her elbows up on the table and picking at a stray strand that was coming loose on one of the sleeves of her dress. "She's hurting."
Lupin nodded his agreement with his wife's statement, watching sadly out of the corner of his peripherals as Black collapsed back against the headrest of the wooden armchair he rested in, his shoulders sagging in defeat as he buried his head in his hands, dragging a calloused hand down alongside his face, pinching at the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger.
"I don't know what to do," Sirius whispered hoarsely, as the late afternoon sunshine streamed through one of the narrow kitchen windows and cast its light onto his back. "She won't talk to me, won't tell me anything, Nymphadora. The most I've been able to get out of her is she's coming."
By that, he was referring to her brother's funeral.
"But?" Remus urged, his voice echoing against the walls of the kitchen and he flinched, not wanting the other Order members flitting about Headquarters to overhear what in his mind was a private conversation.
Sirius looked toward Lupin in surprise. "Whenever I try to go upstairs to talk to her, she said she wanted to talk, all I get from that girl is silence!" he snapped, his voice hardened and tense. "If she's hurting, then I want her to tell me that. But she won't even look at me, and now she won't eat?"
Black's final words came out in exclamation, this time, truly alarming both Lupin and Tonks, who exchanged dark looks with one another before returning their attention to their friend in dire need.
"Sirius, please don't think of doing anything rash," Lupin began cautiously, speaking slowly and choosing his words very carefully so as to not further incite his best mate's temper. "She'll eat when she gets hungry, don't think about going up there and trying to force her to eat." Sensing Sirius was not at all convinced, Remus heaved a tired sigh and continued. "Renee knows she can trust you, Sirius. And if we know the young woman well enough by now, then I think she simply is still struggling to process her own feelings, as we all are, after…that. But whether or not you know it yourself, you've changed, Sirius, though you may not have noticed it, we do. She has had an effect on you in a relatively short amount of time, and I think, in time, it's a change for the better. You should talk to her. Not yelling, not ordering her to eat," Lupin quickly added, sensing imminent danger at the dawning look of anger in Sirius's rapidly paling features, "but…talk to Miss Barreau. It may take her a while considering the horrible trauma she went through a few days ago, is still struggling to process, but Dora and I are confident she will open up to you. Don't let your fear get the better of you. We're going to catch Everett, and whatever lies ahead, we hope you and Renee know that you'll be able to overcome all of this. You both are stronger than you think, Sirius. Know this."
He glanced towards his wife, who quickly nodded her agreement, though Tonks stayed silent for now.
Sirius opened his mouth to speak, looking like he had more on the matter he wanted to say, but could not give his thoughts a voice and decided against it.
He promptly closed his mouth and bolted from his chair, shoving his hands in the pockets of his trousers and Lupin let out a collective sigh of disappointment and agitation as the pair heard the man storm up the steps, heading for Renee's room.
Renee wallowed in the misery, alone in the eternal darkness of the spare bedroom, wishing she'd been bloody fast enough to get to Billy in time to…to…
She swallowed down thickly past the lump in her throat, only her brother's memory that would be her comfort forever, and still, Renee hated herself for it. She should have been the one to die, not Billy.
The young woman squeezed her eyes tightly shut from her perch, huddled with her knees pulled up close to her chest, conjuring the image of her kid brother in her mind, and for the few precious moments that her tormented, fragmented mind would allow, Renee could enjoy Billy's presence beside hers and imagine none of…that…happened.
She found herself surfacing from the wicked darkness of her own mind for the third time this afternoon, her thoughts filled to the brim with Billy.
She wanted to float there alongside her brother, savoring all the little moments of their time together.
Renee very nearly screamed when the phantasm her own mind had created began to slip through her outstretched arms, desperately trying to tousle his thick tuft of dark hair once last time, to touch him.
She wanted to scream. From pain, heartache, fear that Everett was still going to come after her tonight.
Renee couldn't explain it, but she'd been plagued with a tingling chill in her bones that continued to linger, freezing the blood in her veins until it was ice.
What was there if not even the memory of him? Though suddenly, from nowhere, a horrible, fatigued ringing filled Renee's eardrums, and a light burned its way into her vision accustomed to pitch-black darkness over the last four days since Sirius brought her back and had graciously let her stay with him.
Her eardrums roared with sound as the truly deafening sound of the door being flung wide open, so hard, as a matter of fact, the damn thing rattled in its hinges, and a blinding light burned itself into her hazy, tear-filled vision. It was dim, as the tip of a flickering lighted candle, yet agonizing, nonetheless.
It very nearly blinded her, and Renee was forced to raise her arms in front of her face to shield her eyes. Her chest heaved and her broken heart struggled to find its rhythm. She was here, but not.
Breathing, but not alive. Then she heard Sirius's voice, clipped, and bordering on sounding aggressive.
Renee did not even have to turn around to know it was Black. His presence lingering in the doorway of the spare bedroom she had been put in was near-stiffening. He dropped the metal tray that Tonks had left outside her door and in the silence of the room, it sounded like an exaggerated crash in his annoyance.
"Eat," Sirius growled in a voice pressured with ire and wrought with worry for her. She sensed that much. "I haven't walked all the way up those bloody stairs and worried after you for four days just to hear from Lupin and the others that you're starving yourself. Now eat. It will do you some good, Renee."
In the shadows, Renee Barreau remained unstirred, huddled into a small ball in the corner, dressed for the funeral in a black lace dress and fishnet stockings and heels, her back bent as she faced away from Sirius. She looked like a corpse and were it not for the slow rising and falling of her shoulders, Sirius would have thought Renee dead.
The edges of Renee's mouth twitched, though she did not smile as she heard the man from behind kick at the other tray that now lay beside the new one that he almost scattered.
The food, a large slice of pound cake, a bowl of oats and fruit, some turkey and cheese, and a bowl of buttered and garnished mashed potatoes all remained cold and untouched.
It wasn't the first tray Renee had wasted and not eaten at all, Tonks had quietly told Sirius and Remus earlier. He breathed slowly through his flaring nostrils, silently willing his temper to calm down.
"You should eat before the wake," he tried again in a low voice. "I won't have you starving yourself."
Again, Sirius's words were met with nothing but silence, save for Renee Barreau's silent breathing, and he took it as an added cinder to the fire hot as dragon flame that began to curdle his ice-cold blood.
It felt to Sirius as though her indifference were a horrible infection that had entered into the young Muggle woman's veins and it was everywhere, in her pores, on her body, festering in her very heart and soul. His fingers dug into the sensitive skin of his palms, his teeth clenched, and his jaw locked shut.
Sirius, in annoyance and exhaustion, pressed at his temples with a thumb and forefinger, almost begrudgingly, stifling the overwhelming, aching need to touch her, to ensure that Renee still breathed air.
"What do you want?" Nothing. "Different food?"
"I want him dead." Renee's last word cut him icily, and she blearily lifted her chin at last and stared at Sirius through cracked, red-rimmed blue irises.
This time it was Sirius who found himself at a loss for what to say. His mind raced into consideration. Considering what the Morning Killer had done to her brother, it was a justifiable request, and there was a deeper layer of him that wanted to fulfill whatever request she demanded of him that would get her to stand on her own two feet again, to smile at him.
"He'll face justice for his crimes," Sirius answered, letting out a frustrated sigh and running a hand through his hair before heading towards the door.
He paused, glancing back over his shoulder.
"Eat. You'll feel better," he said, echoing something Moony was often fond of saying whenever one of their friends or Order members were feeling ill, though before he could turn on the heels of his boots to go, a mad scrambling noise from behind him caused his hearing to perk up in interest.
Renee stood in front of him, though after a second, she closed her eyes as if she could not bear to look at Sirius. Her hands remained awkwardly in front of her as she continued her nervous habit of weaving her fingers in between white-boned knuckles.
Sirius frowned as he registered the hurt he felt inside but could not understand why he felt so disappointed.
"Thank you," muttered Renee in a faint voice so soft and quiet, that if Sirius hadn't already been hanging onto her every word, he'd have missed it. "Surely… after…what happened, you should…know."
"Know…what?" he whispered, with the young blonde café owner knowing Black wasn't ignorant and just feigning it.
Her blue eyes widened as she looked up to meet the dark-haired man's gaze. She furrowed her brows in a frown. The man's eyes were still closed like he was fighting against something and losing horribly.
His dark wavy hair hung loose and some of it was hanging across his eyes, like that moment outside the River Thames when they'd gone for a walk when he had taken hold of her arm and looked at her like that.
"But don't you know, Renee?" Sirius whispered hoarsely, and Renee's blue eyes widened, knowing the moment she had dared to take his arm the other day, that something between them had then changed.
She swallowed thickly past the lump in her throat, thinking that if the softening of her almond-shaped blue eyes was anything for her to go off of, that she was at least beginning to feel something for the former falsely imprisoned convict of Azkaban.
They were so close now, and Renee barely let out a muffled squeak as Sirius's arms came up to grip onto both of her shoulders, steering her backward and pressing her against the now-closed bedroom door. Black found himself growing nervous like a kid in Hogwarts all over again, growing painfully and acutely aware of the suppleness of her bare shoulders.
The black lace dress she wore was long-sleeved, but was an off-the-shoulder garment, exposing the unblemished skin of her collarbones. As Sirius looked down towards Renee's lips, he wondered if the two of them had ever been this close before.
Perhaps the once, the night she'd fallen through his bloody ceiling and had broken his nose, but…but…this was bloody different, Merlin damn it!
Glancing back towards Renee, Sirius allowed his darkening gaze to ghost across the pale features of her ashen face. No. Tonight she wore a different expression, and at least this time, there was something else other than the unspoken grief for her dead brother flickering through those pale blue orbs.
A sinking feeling began churning in the pit of his stomach as Sirius quickly came to the realization that all of his worst fears had possibly come true, after all.
Barreau did feel that unimaginable feeling that had been welling within him the last few days, at best.
Renee, for all Sirius knew, wasn't even aware of what the bloody hell was happening with her, but Sirius knew, considering he'd just kicked the door shut with the heel of his own boot, she'd not turn away from him, not now, when she was vulnerable.
"Don't play dumb, Barreau. You know," Sirius growled, lowering his voice deeper so that only Renee could possibly hear him. Not that he imagined Moony or even Dora would be outside the door listening in on a private conversation, but still….
Renee remained silent and at a loss for words, her breaths quickening as her blue eyes became large, her irises transfixed and round, unable to tear her gaze away from Sirius, as if he'd held her captive by a curse.
Lifting his hand in a slow, almost methodical manner, Sirius cupped the young Muggle woman's face in his strong grip, and as he did this, he felt Barreau stiffen and tense slightly before relenting and conceding to his unspoken wish, before leaning against him, her tear-stained cheek grazing his palm.
The effect it was having on the man was anything but insignificant. He did not give a damn if she were a Muggle, Squib, half-blood, pureblood, whatever.
None of it mattered. She was so…so beautiful. Black had always known she was an attractive woman, of course, even from that fateful night when she'd dropped unceremoniously onto his table, but now, it felt like she was the most beautiful creature he would ever encounter in his entire adult life, yes.
Without a second thought, before his courage and resolve failed him, he did not say a word as he took Renee's face into his hands. Oh, bloody hell, they'd gone too damned far now. She knew, Sirius could see it for himself in her wide, brimming eyes.
And even if nothing ever came of…this, whatever 'this' was to them both, Sirius did not want to stop himself from being honest with Renee in the minute.
He'd reached his bloody limit and he was not about to take one more step outside of this room without going insane unless he did something about it. This woman, this Muggle, this celestial-like creature held him captive in a vice grip and if he didn't do something now, then he would explode.
Sirius reached up a shaking hand and brushed her blonde bangs out of her eyes, and, not giving her any time to react, leaned down and captured her mouth with his. The two of them fit so…so perfectly.
His right hand dropped to her thigh, pulling up the skirts of her dress, his mind screaming at him to pull away, now was not the right moment for…this. But Sirius couldn't move even if he wanted to, it was like her fingers that moved of their own accord and tangled in his thick tuft of dark hair had short-circuited his mind in the best possible way right now.
Their lips fitted perfectly- as if they were meant for each other. Moving against each other, feeling each other. Sirius grabbed the back of her neck, growling in the kiss as Renee whimpered in pleasure. Oh, they'd definitely gone too far now.
If he did not find some way to stop this now, it was inevitably going to lead to something much more passionate and dangerous, and he did not want to take advantage of Barreau in that way while grieving. Opening his eyes, the clouded thought entered his mind as he felt Renee's fishnet-stocking clad leg running unknowingly against his searing, burning, aroused flesh, which awakened a carnal urge within him that he'd not felt for several years.
Before he could lose all sense of himself, Sirius broke apart their embrace and held her at arm's length, forcing Renee Barreau to let go of him.
Renee's blue eyes widened in shock, perhaps she realized what the bloody hell had just transpired between the two of them, and Sirius, noting this, let go and staggered back away from Renee immediately, and turned on the heel of his boot and quit the bedroom before Renee could utter even a single word.
Note: Oof. I know you're probably wringing your hands in the air after their tense rocky start to…whatever this is for them, but I think it happened in the right way for these two, if a little unorthodox, but I think it suits these two, as Sirius and Renee are drastically different from Remus and Tonks, and as such, are going to behave as such.
It is here where things start to come to a head (pun intended?) with our serial killer, Everett, and much more drama to be had. Stay tuned for more!