A shorter but hopefully rather eventful chapter ahead!
Dedicated to Kvan, darkgenius2003, alannalove1990 and Dicome, the new reviewers who decided to add themselves to the group of people who made my writing experience so much more enjoyable!
CHAPTER 12
Severus clutched the glass with Firewhiskey, the drink still burning his throat - now thanks to Granger much less painful and bothersome than it used to be - and tried to deal with what had transpired.
Granger had been offered to marry - marry, not just be sheltered or supported - the richest and best looking Pureblood wizard that there was to be had and she refused, preferring to stay with him.
He just couldn't wrap his mind around it.
He knew Draco - once he would marry her, he would take good care of her, the way Lucius took care of Narcissa, and Draco was much meeker and more compassionable in comparison. She would live like a queen, doubly so once Lucius was gone and she would become the Lady of the Manor.
Still, Granger stayed although she knew Snape was willing to let her go with the boy if she chose to.
He was aware Draco had been interested in her - saw him giving her longing looks when he thought she wasn't looking his way in his classes - but somehow he didn't consider it that serious nor lasting. She had dumped him and-
"Are there any records as to where do wizards and witches originally come from? Where were they born? Some kind of map, preferably?" she interrupted his thoughts as soon as she sat down on his couch.
He didn't really expect that question at this moment. He rather thought she just wanted to consult another advanced diagnostics or magical matter research issue when she had decided to drop the subject of Draco's proposal. This topic seemed rather out of the blue for her. There was no reason to not answer though.
"I am sure Albus and Minerva had some kind of register. I can try to obtain it for you if it still exists," he said, watching her pensively as she perked up at his promise.
"That would be great, thank you. Do you think something like that exists in the worldwide scale too?"
"If it does, there should be no problem to obtain it. It can take me a few days though if it's not a big problem?"
"No, not at all, thank you so much," she said, smiling widely at him which warmed his chest up peculiarly. She probably knew it was the reason why he did and acquired everything she had ever asked from him but somehow he couldn't bring himself to feel bothered by that. He did it as much for himself as for her.
Still, there was a matter that probably should be addressed, at least indirectly.
She did a lot of strange things and he had never questioned, always waiting for her to disclose what her research had been centered around, but her pleas grew more and more strange every day and he still couldn't understand what they had in common or how they could be related. He didn't want to pry but she should know that he was willing to help her more and with anything if she needed it.
"I suppose you don't want to initiate me into the matter if you haven't already. But I am there in case you will ever want to. I will not think any less of you, regardless of what it turns to be," he nudged her a bit, trying not to sound too curious.
"Sure, I will when I will know myself. Thank you."
She smiled at him but still avoided both his eyes and the answer.
She was after something. What was it that she wasn't willing to disclose was beyond him though; she was generally not secretive at all.
Yet, as long as she seemed willing to stay with him, he supposed he really didn't have any serious reason to complain.
Deciding to trust her about this as he had about everything else so far, he got up to help her prepare the dinner.
Severus would never forgive himself for touching that door handle.
Fuck, he should have worn his dragonhide gloves.
She felt a surge of magic go through it but mistook it for wards in the crucial split of second that he had to cast the countercurse.
He didn't know what it was until he met Dolohov, passing him in the hallway. The man sneered at him disdainfully as usual but instead of simply returning it, his fist shot out to land on the man's jaw.
Hell, he had wanted to do that for ages for what the fucker had done to Granger.
The ensuing duel was not nice but he somehow managed to win it eventually, surprising the man by conjuring a Cerberos which had evaporated shortly but shielded him long enough for him to be able to land the determinative Cutting Curse.
He was sure it was a Compulsion Curse that he had been hit with as soon as he saw the Dark Lord in the Great Hall though, his wand shooting up into the noseless bastard's ugly face.
He had very nearly uttered the incantation for the Killing Curse before he realized what he was doing and to mask his strange behavior he quickly summoned the potions the monstrous man had tasked him to brew.
He had to get back to his quarters as soon as possible to check his books for a countercurse.
Shit, Granger would be in there.
Not that he didn't want to see her. He pretty much wanted to, wanted her.
Maybe he could get her to wrap around his cock-
Fuck him!
"Go to your room and stay there for the rest of the day," he yelled at her as soon as he saw her, his cock starting to harden immediately as he glimpsed her. She needed to go as far from him as possible but for some reason she just looked at him oddly, not moving.
He went to her, about to grab her and kiss those beautiful lips of hers-
He stopped himself at the last second, offering her his wand instead. It would be safer if she had it in case he would want to rip her dress away from her and-
Oh, shit!
She needed to get away from him as soon as possible.
"Just stay away from me if you know what is good for you. Take my wand and lock yourself in," he said in the most threatening tone he could manage, pushing his wand into her hands when she didn't reach for it herself.
"What happened?"
Couldn't she just do what he asked of her for once?
Maybe a good fuck would make her-
Ugh!
"I have been cursed but I suppose I will be fine by tomorrow. Leave me alone," her ordered her then firmly and all but ran to the Living room to escape the temptation of her luscious lips and round breasts and the pretty firm butt-
Fuck, he needed a glass or two.
A bottle or two sounded much more reasonable though.
Snape woke up suddenly.
Something was off. It didn't take long to realize what that was.
Granger was pressed to him - which was quite common in itself - but there was something seriously wrong with it this time.
He was stark naked and her clothes had been pulled away so she was practically nude too. He was all wrapped around her lithe form and there was something dried all over her thighs and his cock. His cum.
Oh, fuck.
Panic and dread filled his chest and he fought hard to calm himself down enough to think clearly and take the whole situation in.
His hand that he had punched Dolohov with was healed but instead there were rather deep scratches on his shoulder and arm; his nails were always kept very short so it had to be her scratching at him while defending; unsuccessfully, it seemed. There were also dried tear trails on her cheeks. She had been desperate enough to cry then.
He closed his eyes, focusing on the events of last night. He recalled drinking a lot after he had sent her to her room. Then he only dimly remembered stumbling into his bed to sleep but obviously he hadn't stayed so.
Perhaps she had to come to him at night, probably having nightmares and desperate enough to ignore his warning. She had obviously fixed his hand.
And then he had raped her, the savage animal that he was, although she had been evidently defending and resisting him. He had betrayed her completely.
He closed his eyes tightly again, willing everything to be just a dream, something not real, a booze induced hallucination, so that when he opened his eyes again, everything would be undone.
He had done it; done what he was fantasizing about for months, disregarding her will and wellbeing completely, and he didn't even remember it.
Shit!
Wanting to punch something - himself, preferably - so badly, he untangled himself from her and went to fetch his wand to check her for injuries.
He discovered she had left it on the bedside table and probably couldn't reach it when he had attacked her.
He waved the dark wood over he sleeping form.
Fortunately, she seemed fine, at least physically.
Had he dosed her with something to make her fall asleep or did he Stun her so she would stop fighting him? Had he raped her while she was conscious or only afterwards?
Oh, she was going to hate him. She would probably leave him as soon as she woke up.
How could he do something like this?!
He wanted to blame someone else - the curse, the booze, the blood magic she had inadvertently enchanted him with, her for coming here although he had ordered her not to - but he knew it to be just a superficial excuse.
He had raped Granger, forced her into sex. Something that she was so scared off that she never even mentioned it except from stressing out she wasn't going to want it in any way and at any time.
He had destroyed everything, his every hope and every plan for the future.
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
Not able to look at her lying innocently in his bed any longer, he hastily dressed and exited the room.
His eyes fell on the empty bottles that he had left on the counter in the Living Room and he hurled a blasting curse at them without thinking, setting the shards flying all around the room. Some of the landed on him, bouncing off his clothes but cutting into his face and hands.
The anger burst out of him then in full, propelled by the soft sting of his injuries.
One by one, he smashed all his bottles with whiskey, even those he had stored for years and saved for a special occasion.
He would never touch those from now on, he swore to himself and proceeded to blast the couch away.
She was sitting right there when he seriously considered having sex with her for the first time. He never wanted to see it again.
SHE would never want to see HIM again. He should have blasted himself, not the couch. It was HIM who had done it. He would have deserved to die.
Of fuck, he should have killed himself.
He was only hurting her by staying alive anyway.
Splinters and dust were settling slowly on the floor.
He turned the wand slowly, pointing it at himself.
His face twisting in painful emotions that he couldn't stand any longer, he thought briefly about a suitable curse.
Avada shouldn't be a problem - he hated himself enough for that. Yet it was quick and painless, better than he deserved. He was a disgusting piece of shit.
He should burn himself alive or strangle-
"What's going on in here?"
He flinched, turning to her and expecting to see the hatred and disgust that he was so desperate to escape.
There was only confusion in her face though, her dress all creased but rightened.
Had he Obliviated her too?
"What do you recall from last night?" he asked loudly, fuming both at his own deviousness and at being walked in on while planning his own demise.
She hesitated for a while, probably caught off guard by his outburst.
Shit, she didn't deserve being yelled at on top of being raped.
"We... had sex," she said, eyeing him cautiously.
So either she had been conscious or she had deduced it the way he had.
Fuck.
Gripping his wand so hard that he heard his knuckles crack, he fought the urge to curse something. Himself, preferably.
He had no idea what to say to her.
"I will go. I am sure you don't want to see me right now," he offered, longing to finish what he started planning for himself but not wanting her to see.
"Why?"
Oh damn, she knew him well enough to guess what he was about to do. He didn't want to talk about it though.
He felt the anger escaping his control again.
"Just don't tell me you are alright with what I have done," he sneered, hoping she wasn't about to pretend that.
"What do you remember from last night?" she shot back at him then, her stance unyielding.
Oh, shit.
"Not much," he admitted, feeling idiotic and embarrassed but still unwilling to lie to her. "But I know I have forced myself onto you. It was unforgivable and I don't know how to make it right," he admitted helplessly.
She just stared at him and he had to look away after a few seconds. He should have just Avada himself straight away so he would avoid this conversation.
She sighed and for some reason it sounded rather disappointed.
"So that's what you think happened? It was not like that. It was consensual," she claimed indignantly.
He snorted sceptically, not buying her story even as she had probably deluded herself that it was alright to get raped while he would still continue to shelter her.
"Are you telling me now you fell in love with me overnight? That you started enjoying Death Eaters fucking you?" he asked sarcastically, satisfied at the way she flinched.
She should know better than lie to him. She was well aware of how much he hated that.
"No, of course not. But I liked it with you. You behaving like an arse about it makes me rather regret it now though," she announced loudly and turned on her heel to exit the room, slamming the door behind her.
Oh, fuck.
I know what you are probably thinking now - don't worry, you will see and read what really happened through Hermione's eyes in the next chapter, I am not going to skip it :-))
I will upload it in a few days - a few reviews might speed it up a bit as it did in this case :-))