Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

Chapter 14 - In the Light

I wake up at seven even though I didn't set the alarm. I had nine solid hours of sleep and I feel much better. Unfortunately, I become a bundle of nerves again as soon as I unwrap myself from my quilt-cocoon and go on a quest for clothes. I know today will be pivotal and butterflies churn in my guts as I select my outfit. At least we are going hiking, so date or no date I have to wear comfortable, quick-dry clothes: gray pants and a black long-sleeved top, and my sturdiest, and muddiest, boots. I fix some cereal for breakfast and make some sandwiches for my outing. Dad left for his fishing trip at five. I don't envy him, but I didn't want to sleep in either. I'd rather meet Lynn.

She knocks on my door at seven thirty, as agreed. I don my parka and rush to meet her. I'm not going to bring my hiking poles today; my chest is still sore. I'll have to rely on legs and core muscles. But I grab a knapsack and fill it with water canteens and the sandwiches on the way out. Humans have needs Lynn is probably not too concerned with.

"Good morning Brandon," She greets me with a sparkle of her perfect teeth. No fangs. I checked a few days ago. My bones melt a little in the heat of her contagious joy, as if her presence wasn't enough to perk me up.

"Good morning, Lynn." She laughs a little and I look at myself. "What?"

"We match."

It's true, at least in terms of colors. She's also wearing gray pants and a black top underneath a dark parka that she told me is just camouflage. Humans need clothes to stay warm and the Cullens want to avoid close scrutiny. We are also wearing our lucky crescent moons from Thailand.

"Yes, but you look like a model and I look like an unemployed lumberjack." I'm rewarded with another crystal-bells laugh. I look up at the sky for a second, and then smile at her. "It's overcast, but the clouds are starting to thin out. They will clear up later this morning, according to the forecast."

"I know." She winks at me and we enter her car.

"You said you like this band, right?"

I recognize a song from the latest Bright Eyes album.

"Yeah. You like them too?"

"I do now. Great lyrics."

"So, how was the hunting? Did you have any fun?"

"No, but Alice did. She's more playful than me."

"What do you usually hunt then? Bears? Deer?"

"Those too, yes, but I prefer mountain lions. Emmet likes grizzlies. Alice usually enjoys frolicking with deer and elk."

I don't pay attention to the view, and Lynn, both hands on the wheel, barely looks at me. She seems worried despite the levity of our topic.

"Lynn?" I ask her, "You look tense…."

"I'm sorry. I'm…. It's difficult to explain. No, not that. The truth is, it's just painful to talk about."

"You can tell me anything, Lynn. What is it?"

"Did you tell your father you would be with me today?" She says, either changing the subject or trying to tackle it from a different angle.

"No, actually I told everybody I know that I will meet you on Sunday and that today I'd go hiking on my own." I smirk, daring her to complain. Her face darkens and her voice becomes harder.

"Why would you do that?"

"Because I owe you, and because I trust you." I say simply. It's the truth, or at least part of it. She wants to stay angry at me but she can't.

"And you still haven't told me what's really bothering you….." I try a sad puppy face. She shakes her head, exasperated, but she can't hide a smile. She soon grows serious again.

"I'm a little scared." She almost whispers, her eyes on the road, stony, hiding something.

"We both know you simply cannot be scared of me, so….?" I tilt my head to one side, arch one eyebrow.

"Today you will see me in the sunlight….." She wraps one hand around the keepsake I gave her, nestled in the valley between the gentle swellings of her breasts. "That's one reason I wanted you to give me something to hold on to, just in case you decide, wisely, to stay away from me in the future. A memento of the days when I believed we could be together for a long time will be very important to me if…."

It sounds so sad. And so strange. She's saying she's afraid to lose me? But that is how I feel.

"Lynn, is this all seems so bizarre…. The way I see it you are the flight risk. You keep trying to push me away even as you pull me in, not to mention how much you mess with my mind. And you're beautiful and smart. Of course physically you belong to a superior race, so there's no competition there. Any guy in the school would die to go out with you. You got it all backwards; I'm worried you'll leave me." I feel physically exhausted. It was an unusually long speech for me.

She laughs.

"You're right. I'm the one to blame. However, you really don't see yourself clearly. You are still growing up of course, but you are becoming more attractive; you have beautiful green eyes, and you have many interests. I can read minds, remember? At school, every girl wanted to meet the new guy. It's true that for some it was just because you were a novelty, but many found you attractive when they saw you in person." She smiles a little, amused by something.

"Come on. There is something you are not telling me…"

"I used to think humans were not observant at all, but you see everything." She muses, almost upset but not quite.

"Okay, it is true that some girls eventually thought you were painfully shy. I think they have a point. You blush so often." She laughs, and, on cue, I feel heat spread along my face. I want to be mad at her, but don't succeed. At least humoring me seems to have lifted her spirits.

"So that doesn't bother you?"

"I find it sweet and endearing. And you have other qualities you don't seem to notice. You are smart too, Mr. advanced-program-in-Phoenix, and you are not a quitter. Your childhood must have been difficult, but it has made you stronger."

Her face is tender now, gentle, and her eyes are smoldering.

"But maybe, after you really see me, after you truly understand how different I am," she continues, her voice hardening, "you'll be the one who wants to walk away. If that's the case I won't blame you and I won't try to stop you. At school I will leave you alone unless we have to work together in our French class… Next year I can make sure I'm not in your courses and…"

"Hold your horses. I got it. Stop preparing for a life without me. I really think it's not going happen unless that's what you want. Let's just enjoy our hike for now, okay?"

She shakes her head again.

"You are so stubborn…" She mutters, but her lips are curling into a smile again.

"I told you that already. You should have believed me. I can't lie to you. I'm not good at it in general, although as you know I can clam up, but with you I'm always completely honest."

"No," she complains with a wry smile. "You edit. And your mind is the only one I can't read. It's maddening. But maybe sometimes I look at things the wrong way. Maybe you are wiser than me."

"I edit, yes, but just a little. You don't tell me everything you think either. You may be a vampire but you're still human too, right?"

"It's… complicated. Actually, until recently I thought I was…., well, no, I don't want to talk about it right now. Let's have our hike first. If you don't run away I'll answer any questions you might have then."

"Is it a promise you'll keep this time?" I ask with a sarcastic, puckered smile.

"I swear." She utters solemnly. This time we both laugh.

"But until then, I have a few more questions for you…."

I groan. What else does she want to know about me? I'm such a boring guy.

She starts by inquiring about my tastes in movies. Predictably, I mention several science fiction movies, like "Blade Runner" and "Watchmen", but I surprise her when I also add I like some romantic comedies, probably influenced by my mother's tastes.

"I thought every teenager loved horror movies." She suddenly asks.

"They're okay, but not my favorites."

"So you never watched movies about vampires?"

"Oh sure, but not many. I didn't find them that interesting. They seemed too farfetched…" I add, provoking another burst of laughter.

Next, she goes back to questioning me about my parents, asking for more details about their lives and their character.

"It's a study in contrast, really. My mother was always the outgoing, extraverted one, constantly in search of new adventures, and new experiences. My dad, taciturn and a little dour these days, fell in love with her when they were still very young and he was a lot more romantic. Opposites attract, I suppose. My mom couldn't stand life in Forks for long though, and eventually had to make a run for it. I was forced to tag along."

"You told me your father hasn't really moved on…."

"Despite the bitter ending, we were the best things that ever happened to him. So yes, he never truly moved on. I suppose there is still hope but he certainly took it a lot harder than mom. I told you he fills the house with photos from the couple of years they lived together in Forks. It's not healthy, I think."

"Do you have any other relatives you see often?"

"I sometimes see some cousins, but my paternal grandparents have passed away. I met some of them but I was so young I can't remember them well. My mom lost contact with most of her family when she ran off to Forks with dad but one of her brothers visits us often. If anything, my dad is pretty close to Billy Black. His kids, Jacob and Rebecca, are about my age and I spent time with them in the summer, during my visits. We played all kinds of games to kill the inherent boredom of fishing trips. We were so young…."

Her face clouds a little. She knows they are the ones who told me the truth about her.

"Do you hang out with them often these days?"

"Sometimes I go see them on the rez, on weekends, or they come by with their father to watch games with my dad. They were in town once this week."

"Let me ask you something…" Her expression hovers between playful and serious. "Do you think your friends might want to warn your father? About me, I mean."

I ponder her question for a few seconds. I hadn't really thought about it much. They are not supposed to talk about the treaty, but it's true they made an exception in my case.

"I'm sure Jacob and Rebecca wouldn't. They are satisfied that you and your family will respect the terms of the agreement. If anything, I imagine their father might be more likely to. He looked at me funny the other day. Maybe my friends told him I'm dating you."

She frowns and bites her lip but eventually moves on to the topic of hiking. I answer her queries while considering whether I should try to talk to Billy Black in private. It may be worth a try.

Several probing questions later, we reach the end of a narrow road off the highway. We park the car near a trailhead, but when I head toward it Lynn tells me we are not going to use it. The sun is out, but we are still in the shadow of the massive trees that surround the small clearing.

"Hmm, you mean we'll be bushwhacking?" I like hiking, but I usually follow trails. Going through the vegetation can be challenging and possibly even dangerous.

She smiles teasingly.

"Worried already? I thought you were really into hiking…."

I grin.

"Not too worried, no, but yeah, four or five miles of that could be a pain."

"We'll only bushwhack a little. I beat my own path to a spot I like. It's not as clear as a normal trail, but I'm sure you'll be fine. The terrain is flat most of the way. I just didn't want to make my path visible from the clearing. I like my privacy."

"Lead the way, then." I urge her with a smile. Before moving, she inhales deeply and takes her parka off. The halter top underneath reveals her arms and shoulders, the dreamy curve of her collarbone, a hint of cleavage, more pale, alabaster skin than she'd ever shown. I forget what we are doing here, but when she starts walking, frowning at my slack-jawed expression, I follow suit.

At first we have to push aside a few ferns, still dewy with yesterday's rain, but we soon reach an area where the undergrowth is sparse and we easily make way across the forest. The ground is muddy and we often go over slippery roots or rocks covered in the same moss that grows on tree trunks, boughs, and the logs that dot the area, but we proceed without any incident. A few sections have a little elevation gain, but it's still more like a walk than an actual hike. Lynn hovers at my side, possibly worried I might slip and fall, but I never really need her help. While we walk, we chat a little more about movies and books. We both want to avoid thinking about the crossroads we are approaching and what our choices will imply for our future. Little light makes it through the canopy of branches and leaves above us, but our destination will have plenty of it according to Lynn.

We walk at a pretty fast pace, although she could go a lot faster on her own, and we reach our destination in less than two hours. With her superior eyesight, she spots it minutes before I do. Eventually I also notice a brighter area ahead of us. It's an alpine meadow, I realize as we near it. The forest suddenly opens ahead of us and I'm in the sunlight. It's not a wide space, but it's filled with white, purple and yellow flowers. It's very beautiful, like a secluded corner of Eden, assuming you don't mind wetness. The air feels warm today, at least. It smells of lavender and other plants I cannot identify. I bask for a minute in the heat and then I remember I'm not supposed to be alone. I turn around and see Lynn still in the shadow of the trees, looking at me, her eyes filled with worry and trepidation.

I walk back to her, smiling. When I'm just a few feet away, at the edge of this corner of Paradise, I encourage her to step into the light and brace myself… She seems so tense now. How bad will it be?

Finally she sighs, squeezes her eyelids shut and takes a few hesitant steps toward me. Does she really think I'm going to run away? Is that why she closed her eyes? Or does she really believe I will be horrified by what I see? But I worried about nothing; as soon as she walks into the light, my jaw drops open, suddenly unhinged, and my eyes widen. Every inch of her exposed skin reflects and refracts the light, as if hundreds of diamonds were embedded in her pores. Tiny ghost-rainbows intertwine and shimmer all round her.

"Lynn." I almost shout. "You're even more beautiful in the sunlight. Why didn't you tell me?"

When she hears me, her eyes fly open, incredulous at first. The huge smile on my face and my enraptured expression reassure her. She visibly relaxes but her joy is still uneasy.

"You don't think I'm ugly? A monster? An alien?' She mutters, disbelieving.

"No. What's wrong with you? I mean, yeah, okay, obviously you are not a normal human being, but different doesn't mean ugly. You are gorgeous. You almost got me scared for a bit, there. I didn't know what to expect. This is incredible."

I walk closer to her, slowly. Then I gently take hold of her hand. She feels my pull and lifts her arm so I can have a closer look at it. I touch her lightly, my fingers tracing the contours of her wrist and elbow. I could watch the sunlight play on her skin for a long time. Beautiful doesn't even begin to describe it.

"I'm definitely not running away, you silly vampire. If you want to get rid of me you'll have to think of something else." I attempt a crooked smile. It seems to work and she laughs, maybe not truly amused but certainly relieved. Her eyes soften and gaze at me with something akin to awe. One hurdle has been cleared. I imagine her feeling lighter, like a hot air balloon releasing ballast and finally soaring above the clouds, most of her worries forgotten. When I caress the inside of her elbow, she closes her eyes and sighs, obviously pleased.

"Brandon, maybe it's true. Maybe there is no way I can make you leave me. Words cannot describe how happy I am right now." She told me vampires cannot cry, but despite her obvious glee she seems about to. I lift her hand to my face, lay my cheek against it.

"What do you usually do when you come here? Just enjoy the sun?" Her fingers lightly caress my clean-shaven cheek.

"I just lie down and soak up the sun, yes. After some time I can feel a little warmer. Being cold doesn't bother me, it's natural to me, but letting some of the heat seep in reminds of the time I was still a human." Our eyes have locked again. I'm worried I might forget to breathe. Shadows still lurk in our future. This is just the beginning of our path and I don't know where it will take us, but for a brief moment, at least, I feel a happiness so complete everything else ceases to exist.

We slowly sink to the ground. We lie down at first, our heads turned to look at each other, but it's not enough for me. I sit up and stroke her wrist and arm some more. She closes her eyes, the softest moans issuing from her lips. Her skin feels strong and yet supple; touching it sends chills crawling all over my body.

"I cannot tell you how that feels, but please don't stop. I had never felt anything like it, not even when I was still human." She purrs, content.

I happily let my fingertips lightly skim along her arm, watching swirls of color appear and disappear as the shadow of my own body interferes with the sunlight. I caress her until I need to take a lunch break, when I dig into my backpack for water and the food I brought along.

"Unlike you, I'm only human Lynn. Hikes make me hungry and thirsty."

She laughs again, her mood still seemingly improving by the minute. She watches me eat, almost mesmerized. I think of our few meals together.

"At lunch, in the cafeteria, you ate a little. I saw your siblings do the same…." She can see what I'm driving at.

"It's just camouflage. Actually, human food has no taste for us, and we can eat as much as we want. However, we don't derive any nourishment from it, and later we have to regurgitate it. We'd rather not eat at all but we have to pretend to be normal human beings. If none of us ever ate anything sooner or later somebody would notice."

I sip water from one of my canteens to wash down the dry sandwiches and then stow all my stuff in my pack again.

She peers at me, her beautiful golden eyes glimmer, red highlights glint in her dark hair, and her skin sparkles. I have so many questions for her, but there is something still unresolved between us. I have to figure out what it is.

Lynn frowns again.

"I still cannot read your mind. It's so frustrating."

"Hey, that's how humans feel all the time." I scold her teasingly. "Well, most of us anyways, as far as I know."

"Please tell me what you are thinking…. I want to know."

I laugh and she looks dumbfounded.

"I was just wishing I knew what you were thinking. You're right. It is frustrating. Being irritated is all human life is about at times."

She sits up, very quickly. I barely flinch, but she apologizes anyways.

"I'm sorry, Brandon. It's just so easy to be myself when I'm with you. You can accept everything. I never thought I would meet a human like you. You were also thinking something else, weren't you? Tell me, please."

I shrug.

"I'm still thinking that I'll wake up in my bed any time now, and that in the light of day all of this, including you and my friends on the reservation, will only be a shadow of a memory. Pretty stupid, isn't it?" I look down, a little embarrassed but blush-free for the time being.

"No, it's not." She smells so good I still want to get closer to her, to drink in her heady scent.

"But Brandon, it is a little crazy…. We are not sleeping. I couldn't sleep even if I wanted to. Didn't we go over this before? Like, several times?" She looks a little puzzled now.

"Yeah, but if you're part of my dream then I'm the only one who's sleeping. You have to admit that vampires and werewolves, as far as most people are concerned, belong in dreams, not in reality."

"Is that why you think this isn't real? Because of the existence of creatures from your legends?" She seems amused.

"Well, that's not the only reason, no. You are here with me. If that's not a dream I don't know what is, but I wish it would never end." I swallow as I look at her lips, and then my stare is pulled back to the magnets in her eyes.