"Here we are, again. Standing in a horrendously long line in the dead of winter because you procrastinated buying christmas presents," says Madara as a particularly cold breeze blows by.

Hiding behind him and attempting to leech warmth from his hair, Naruto's retort is a bit muffled. "Shut up, I just forgot."

He returns, "Isn't that worse?"

"You can go home, ya know," she tartly replies.

Madara feigns a worried tone, "But, who would pay your bail when you get yourself thrown in jail for assaulting another shopper this year?"

"She had it coming. She saw I had my hands on the TV first."

"I distinctly remember the police officer disagreeing with that logic."

Naruto huffs and buries her face into his hair. "Just tell me when it looks like they're going to unlock the doors."

She only receives a noncommittal hum in reply, but she knows Madara too well. He's probably watching the front door like a hawk. His competitive nature will take over the second the doors open. All Naruto has to do is stay behind him while he makes a path.

~xXx~

Limited edition console for Konohamaru? Check. Blu Ray set of Mom's favorite TV series? Check. A tie for dad? Check. Gift card for Sasuke—

Catching Madara slip something into the cart out of the corner of her eye, she asks, "What is that?"

He shrugs and starts pushing the cart away. She catches up and digs out...a scented candle? "Who are you buying this for?"

He reluctantly answers, "...Tobirama."

"Don't you hate—oh, that's right. You got him for secret santa," she trails off as she inspects it for poison or a flavor intended to be a horrid stench. Instead, she finds a label accented with apples and leaves and the words, 'Be Thankful' written in the middle. She snorts, "Real subtle. This is much better than buyin' a paper bag and shitting in it, like I thought you were gonna do, though."

"How crude," comes Madara's dispassionate reply. However, Naruto notices how he doesn't seem particularly against the idea.

They reach the checkout line before Naruto realizes that Madara is a hypocrite. She accuses, "You said all that crap while we were waitin' in line, but you weren't done Christmas shopping either!"

He shrugs and tries to explain it away, "I knew it would come to this, so I left the last item on my list—"

A vindictive smile grows on her face as she comes to a realization. "You forgot, too. Probably because it was Tobirama, but that still counts, ya know!"

Puffing out a disbelieving laugh, Madara argues, "Ridiculous. Me? Forget? Pure nonsense."

"So you already bought a secret santa gift for Tobirama, but you're buying him another one?"

The denial on the tip of Madara's tongue halts. Distasteful as it would be to admit that he forgot, the implication that he would go so far for Tobirama, of all people, is much worse. He shifts attention away from himself, "Compared to forgetting to buy any presents, who is truly worse in this situation?"

Moving past him to begin putting their items on the conveyor belt, Naruto pats him on the shoulder and assures, "Don't worry, we're craptastic together!"

If her grin grows at the sound of a low growl behind her, well, the cashier is the only one the wiser. However, it falls off her face when she can't seem to find her wallet. Calling out to him with as much sweetness as she can muster, "He~y, honey bunches who I love so very much? Ya got your card?"