He opened his eyes. The image that had been on the wall was gone. He was feeling better than he'd felt in weeks. Panam was still in bed, he could feel her nude body, warm against his own. He smiled to himself, this was fuckin' alright.

Panam stirred next to him as she woke up.

"V...?" She said.

"Yeah...?"

She turned to face him. "I could get used to this. I never imagined I'd be this happy. That I would have someone like you."

"Mmhmm." He hugged her tightly, and then relaxed. "Me either. When I first got to Night City, I thought I'd end up runnin' Afterlife. Power, money, I thought that kinda shit was gonna make me happy after I left the Bakkers. One thing I never thought I'd do was leave."

Panam smiled. "I felt the same way. When I left the Aldecaldos, I thought I was going to be the next Rogue. Then I got double crossed, again and again. Solo life in NC was breaking me down, I was not sure what I should do, I did not have anyone I could depend on. I thought maybe that is just how life is in Night City, that everyone is alone. Then you showed up V."

V nodded "For most people, that is life in Night City. They got nobody. All they can do is try and survive 'till they get zeroed in some warehouse, or some parking lot. It's no way to live."

Her face turned serious. "V, why did you do it? Why help me with Nash? You did not need to help us with Saul, that was a dangerous mission. And then after we saved Saul, you would not let me pay you for risking your life. Why?"

V looked down, and that back at her. "Nash... I dunno. I'd just gotten double crossed by Dex, figured maybe I'd help you get some revenge since I never got the chance. You seemed like the hellraisin' sort, my kinda people." Then he smiled "'Sides, how could I say no to gettin' into trouble with someone like you."

Panam smiled, she looked pleased.

V's tone was sincere. "I helped with Saul 'cause Hellman had just told me I was a fuckin' dead man, there was no fixin' that chip in my head. Jackie was dead, I had fuckin' nobody left, was in a bad spot. I was thinkin' about what happened to the Bakkers, saw what was happenin' with the Aldecaldos. If Saul had gotten zeroed that woulda' been it for you all. Thought maybe I'd try and do one good thing before checkin' out. That's why I didn't take your eddies, Aldecaldos needed em more. Figured I didn't have too long left, relic was getting' really bad. Eddies ain't no good when you're dead."

Panam looked a little shocked. "V... I had no idea. That is some dark shit."

V nodded. "It sure fuckin' was. After that though, you started textin' me, invitin' me to hang out in camp. It felt like... bein' with family again. Didn't realize how much I missed it till I was sittin' around that campfire with you and the veterans, drinkin, shootin the shit."

Panam nodded. "I'm glad to hear that V."

V hesitated, looked away. "Panam... when you were on my shoulder, pointin' out the stars, it made me feel better than I'd felt in a long time. When I was with you, I felt ok, even though I knew I was dyin.'"

Panam sounded sad now. "You should have said something. You could have called me, talked to me. I would have listened."

V shrugged. "Yeah, should have, but I wasn't thinkin' straight." He looked back to her "You know after that night, Carol fuckin' sent me a threatenin' text. Saying I better take care of you."

Panam looked upset. "Fucking Carol. Never minds her own business. Sorry about that V."

He laughed again, looked over at her. "S'ok. And you ended up takin' care of me anyways."

Panam spoke, her voice was sad again. "Why didn't you tell me earlier? About Johnny? The relic? Why did you wait till you fucking blacked out?"

V sat up, spun around, hung his legs over the side of the bed and looked at the floor. "Panam...I didn't wanna scare you, I was worried you'd think I was crazy. Fuckin' Night City, you know how it is. You tell people your dyin' and they either want nothin' to do with you, or they start wondering how many eddies they can scrap your corpse for."

She sounded hurt. "Ouch V, really? Is that what you thought of me?

He shook his head. "Nah...I just... just liked the way things were going between us, I didn't want to fuck it up. I was falling for ya' bad. How was I supposed to know you'd say, 'we'll figure it out' when I told ya' I was dyin'."

He could feel Panam sit up in bed, then she spoke. "Telling me earlier would not have changed anything between us. I hope you realize that now."

She paused, and he felt her move towards him, she was close, just behind him. She put her hand on his side, slid it up to his chest, pulled him close to her. He could feel her breath on his neck as she continued. "V, I was falling for you too, I was not going to let some biochip stop that."

He took her hand in his, squeezed it, smiled to himself. "'Panam, you know you are the best thing that ever fucking happened to me, right?"

"V... you sweet talking me again?" she said, laughing.

V smiled, looked back at her. "A little. But it's the truth. I fuckin' love you Panam. And now I got these implants, more time. Thank you, you've been here for me through everything."

"And I will be here for anything else that happens, no matter what. I love you too V."

He reached back, put a hand on her thigh. "Panam... now you've given me an impulse."

She laughed, laid down, pulled him on top of her. "Fuck V, really? You must be feeling better?"

"Mmhmm. Up for some more celebrating?"

She looked deeply into his eyes, kissed him, held him close for a long time. They celebrated again.

After they'd finished, they got dressed and headed into the hallway. Everyone else was in the dining hall, having breakfast, they could hear the friendly conversation. V entered the room with Panam, holding her hand.

The mood was jovial. Mitch and Ortega were smoking cigars together, drinking beers. Dakota was laughing with the Maelstrom guys. The other two nomads were doing shots with the wives. As soon as everyone noticed V and Panam, the conversation stopped, and all eyes were on them. No one spoke.

Mitch broke the silence finally. He had another one of those shit eatin' grins. "You two… have a good night? Sleep ok? We heard some weird noises."

"Must have been the machinery down here" Oreta chipped in, laughing.

Mitch was cracking a huge smile around his cigar, so was Ortega. Mitch looked drunk.

Panam looked at Mitch, then at V, then back to Mitch. Her face turned red. "Fuck you, Mitch," she said, laughing.

Mitch laughed "'S' ok. I'm happy for you both. Shit we all are. We're celebratin'." Mitch pointed at Ortega. "He's alright. We been up mosta' the night, tellin' stories, shootin' the shit. Me and Ortega though, we been talkin.' He's got a job for you. Important one."

Oretega looked at V now, his expression turned serious. "V, I have something very important to ask you. We are not just celebrating your second chance; we are celebrating mine. While Mitch was fixing your basilisk, I installed the Arasaka neural interfaces, and tested them. They work better than I'd expected. I've talked to my men. We'd like you to be the one to transfer Isabelle and myself into Labyrinth."

V stammered. "I... uhh.. Dunno what know what to say."

Ortega continued. "We hope you will say yes. My men do not want the weight of such a task on their minds. You would be doing us all a favor."

"Ok..Sure. Yeah. Be honored too."

Ortega looked pleased. "Thank you, V. From me and Isabelle."

They spent the rest of the day eating, drinking, smoking, swapping stories. Close to sunset, Ortega headed towards the door. "It's nearly time. V, I'd like to watch one last sunset. Would you like to join me?"

"'Course" He grabbed Panam's hand, and they headed up to the warehouse. Ortega leaned up against the side of the building, his metal body was glowing yellowish orange in the sunlight. V saw an orange glow, smelled smoke as Ortega lit another cigar.

"It is beautiful" Ortega said, looking at the horizon. "I should really have come up here more."

Panam headed towards the basilisk. "V, sit with me?"

He nodded at her. "'Course."

Panam was in front of him as they headed to the basilisk. She stopped to look back, she was looking right in his eyes, beaming at him. Her skin was golden in the sunlight, and her messy hair was blowing in the wind. The sky was brilliant, full of reds, oranges, yellows, purples. Fuck, this was maybe the best desert sunset he'd ever seen. He stood there for a few seconds, taking everything in. Damn, she was fuckin' beautiful.

She called back to him. "V, you ok? Why did you stop?"

He looked to the sunset and back to her. "Tryin' to decide what's more beautiful."

She laughed "V! You fucking sweet talk…."

BOOOOOOOM! A gunshot. V heard the echo roll through the desert. Panam's right leg disappeared in an explosion of red mist.

V felt time stop. Fuck. Oh no. Fuck. Fuck Fuck. Not her. No. This can't happen. Not now.

Panam fell over, hit the ground hard. She looked up at him, her face full of shock. There was a large, red pool forming on the sand beneath her.

"V…" She started crawling towards him.

BOOOOOOM! There was a puff of dust next to her, another echo. The pool of blood was growing quickly.

Her eyes were starting to lose focus. "V…." She sounded weaker as she continued towards him.

BOOOOOOM!

Her left arm disappeared, in another explosion of red mist. She fell sideways and her head hit the sand with a thump. The pool of blood on the sand was huge.

V stood there in shock, not believing what he was seeing. She had stopped crawling now, but she turned her face up to look at him. She looked in his direction, but her eyes were out of focus. Her face was caked with blood and sand. She didn't say anything.

BOOOOOOM! Another puff of dust next to her.

Just then, V felt something move past him. He saw Ortega briefly appear over Panam and pick her up. He saw a silverish blur, felt immense strength grab him, pull him inside the warehouse. The door shut behind them. He heard turrets spin up outside and begin firing.

Ortega was silent, hovering over Panam, studying her. Her eyes were closed now. A torch appeared out of Ortega's arm, he used it to cauterize Panam's leg and arm. V saw a flash as Ortega scanned her.

Ortega turned to V, his face grim. "V, she is gravely wounded, near death. Come here. Hold her, be with her. She does not have long, she wants to be with you. It will give her some comfort until the end."

He was still in shock. Stumbling, he headed towards Panam. Ortega took V's hand and placed it on Panam's face.

She opened her eyes and looked into his eyes. "V…love …you." She tried to smile. His saw her face, covered in blood and sand, and he lost it, completely. He choked up, burst into tears. Deep sobs shook his entire body. Her eyes closed.

"Can't you do somethin'?" He asked Ortega. V could barely speak through his sobs. "Anything? You got all this tech here."

"I cannot." Ortega was looking sadly at Panam, "Her body is too weak. She would not survive anything I can do here." His expression changed. "Unless…"

Ortega turned to V. "You love her yes? You would do anything for her?"

V nodded "'Course. Anything for her."

Ortega's voice was serious. "Would you sacrifice yourself for her?"

V nodded, he didn't even need to stop and think about it. "Fuck yeah. No question. I would."

Ortega nodded, and headed underground, carrying Panam. As he was walking, he turned to V. "I can transfer her mind into Labyrinth. With her mind secure, I can repair her body, and then transfer her back into it. She will need your help though."

"Do it. I'll do whatever it takes." V said.

"V, her mind is unconditioned, she is in shock. The transition will be extraordinarily difficult for her. She will be overcome by her raw emotions, especially what she is feeling now. Terror, pain, helplessness. She will be awash in a sea of these feelings, and more. She cannot face the machine alone; death would be kinder for her. V, you will need to go with her. You are a construct; you have been inside Mikoshi. Your mind will not break for quite some time, even unconditioned."

"I'll go in with her. 'Course I will." He knew she'd do the same for him.

Ortega looked at V "I knew that you would go. But V, I do not know what will happen to you. I have never been able to retrieve a construct from the machine. You will likely be trapped forever. Eventually, you will break. If I cannot retrieve you, you will face what feels like millennia of suffering, alone. Are you sure you want to do this?"

V nodded. "I'm sure."

They had arrived at the metal door, back in the lab. The others saw Panam and rushed into the hallway.

"What the fuck happened?" Mitch asked. Dakota and the other nomads looked at Panam and burst into tears.

Ortega spoke as the metal door opened. "Raffen attack. I was foolish, I should have been paying attention. This is my fault" Ortega looked at the former Maelstrom members. "The wraiths must pay for this. Exterminate them all." They nodded and then two silverish blurs headed back towards the stairwell. V followed Ortega into the airlock, and it cycled.

The inner door closed behind them as Ortega set Panam down in front of one of the Labyrinth boxes and connected a cable with the word 'ARASAKA' on it to her personal link. He connected a cable to V's link as well.

"V, I must make the transfer at precisely the same moment. If you can find her, do whatever you can to remind her she is not alone in there. It will be the only way she will be able to survive. And remember, time functions differently in there. Are you ready?"

"Fuckin' do it." He wasn't quittin' on Panam. Not after all she'd done for him.

V felt a strange sensation, like he was being pulled out of his own head.

Everything went black, and then turned brown. He heard a howl all around him, but he couldn't see anything. And that howl, it sounded familiar. like… Fuck. What was that? Where had he heard it before? Then it dawned on him He was in a sandstorm, big one. Lightning split the sky, and thunder boomed all around him. This storm was more intense than anything he'd ever seen in the badlands.

He looked down. His body appeared. Looked just as it always did. Wait, nope. Fuck. His body was flickering.

An intense wave of terror washed over him. It started deep in his chest and spread to every part of him. Primal terror, like nothing he'd ever experienced, not even when he was facing death. It knocked him down, and he stumbled, fell onto his hands and knees. The sand stung his eyes, and the lightning and thunder roared overhead.

"Panam" … he called out.

Nothing. He heard only the sandstorm, the thunder. His eyes burned from the sand. Another wave of primal terror washed over him. Despair, helplessness now too. He began to weep uncontrollably and collapsed into the sand.

Then he felt something, on his shoulder. Cold. Metal. He heard, felt a voice. It seemed to be coming from everywhere and nowhere all at once. "V..."

He looked up, there was nothing there. What the fuck? Was his mind goin' already? That voice... sounded familiar. But it wasn't Panam. Sounded like fuckin' Johnny.

He peered ahead, into the sandstorm. He saw... Somethin'... somethin' orange. Flickering. He could smell something too. Cigarette smoke. He headed towards the smell, the flickering light. He saw… a hint of silver. He could barely make out a figure in the storm now. Dark hair, aviator sunglasses. Smoking a cigarette. It was fucking Johnny alright.

That voice again. "V... Go after her…"

Author's note. I've designed this next part as a multimedia experience, it should sync up with the extended version of outsider no more linked below. For the best effect, listen with headphones in a dark room. Let me know if it works for you, or if its distracting.

youtube dot com/watch?v=l2BbttZJCpc

V stood up, wiped his eyes, and headed towards the orange light. The storm was getting worse, the sky was full of lightning, the thunder was non-stop. Johnny, or whoever the fuck that was, vanished. V looked frantically for the orange glow of the cigarette.

Fuck, he had to be be losin' it. Thought seein' them cards was bad, but now he was seein' fuckin' Johnny. What next?

Another wave of primal emotion rocked him, and he fell back onto his hands and knees. This was different, it wasn't terror, or hopelessness. It was longing, desire. Like someone was crying out for him. He thought about what Johnny'd said, pulled himself up and peered into the dust storm. He saw another orange glow, in the distance.

V walked towards it; he wasn't sure how this storm was even possible. He had to lean into the wind to walk forward. There was so much lightning, it was practically daylight. The thunder was nearly constant. He kept pushing on, can't give up. Panam would never quit on him.

Then, he saw her, illuminated by lightning. She was face down in the sand, in a pool of blood, just as she had been when Ortega had scooped her up. Her arm and leg were gone, she was flickering, worse than he was. "Panam!" He yelled into the wind. No response. He kept walking until he was standing over her.

"Panam!," he yelled again… Still no response. She didn't seem to know he was even standin' there.

Fuck. What the fuck was he supposed to do?

He reached down, picked her up from the sand, started to carry her. He wasn't sure where they were going.

Her eyes opened, and she looked up at him. He heard her voice in his head now, it was quiet, weak "V…." Her eyes closed again.

What did Ortega say? Remind her she wasn't alone in here? How was he supposed to fuckin' do that?

"Panam…. I'm here… Here with ya'." Her eyes opened, and she looked up again. She smiled.

"Sweet... talker..." He heard her voice again in his head. It was stronger now.

There was another orange glow in the distance, and he headed towards it, carrying Panam's flickering body. He felt a strange sensation as she touched his face with her remaining hand.

Her eyes closed again, and her hand went limp.

V had to do somethin.' But what? He was wracking his brain for ideas, when he saw it, between the lightning flashes. A building. He headed towards it, Panam motionless in his arms.

The orange light wasn't fading this time. Then he recognized the building. It was the fuckin' Independent California Motel. Shit.

Johnny was leaning on the wall next to the door, smoking a cigarette. Johnny looked at V, took a drag from his cigarette and nodded towards the door to the building. He heard Johnny's voice is his head. "On behalf of the staff of the Independent California Motel, I wish you all sweet dreams."

Johnny disappeared as V entered the building. The interior was exactly as he remembered it that night in the dust storm. The fire was lit, he sat on the couch, and laid Panam's head in his lap. The storm howled outside.

Panam's eyes opened, and she looked around. That voice in his head again. "V... where are we? What's happening...?"

"We're ok." he said, looking down into her eyes.

She looked back up at him. "V... I..."

V was hit by the most intense wave of emotions he'd experienced. Everything blacked out around him for a second. This was different though, there was no fear, no hopelessness. He felt love, content, desire, washing over him, it was like nothing he'd ever experienced. He almost wept, but not with fear. Shit, he didn't know what the fuck was going on now. He closed his eyes for just a second.

He felt Panam's hand caress his face and he opened his eyes. She was still looking at him, still beaming. He spoke again. "I'm here Panam. Here for ya.' I love you, can't lose you now." Another wave of love, content, washed over him, more intense than the first. He started weeping and saw tears in Panam's flickering eyes as well.

The storm intensified. He could hear the thunder and lightning crashing outside. The cabin shook, dust was blowing in through the cracks around the windows. He didn't take his eyes of Panam.

The lightning was constant, the thunder unrelenting. The cabin walls began to flex, the roof rippled. He heard creaking all around him. The walls were giving way, and the roof was starting to peel off.

"Don't worry choomba. Stay fuckin' strong. Fuck this storm" Jackie. Shit, that was Jackie's voice.

Suddenly the walls of the cabin began to glow with an ethereal light. He saw images beginning to form, on the floor, ceiling, walls. All around him.

He took his eyes off Panam just for second, just to see what was happening.

Fuck Another Tarot card. What was it now?

He studied one of the images around him. He recognized this card too; he'd seen at the spot he'd eventually leave NC from for the last time, on that radio tower.

The Star. This one he knew by heart.

"The Star is the card of hope. In the darkest of nights there is a light that shines the path to home. The Star is inspiration, motivation and gives us strength to move forward."

He looked back at Panam, right into her eyes. She hadn't ever stopped looking at him. Her hand was still on his face, she still had tears in her eyes. The whole room was illuminated in an otherworldly blue glow. He wasn't sure how long they stared at each other like that, it felt like seconds and centuries at the same time. The storm was raging outside, but the cabin was holding steady now. He thought about everything that had led them here. That first ride in the desert together. Those beers at the sunset. That wonderful night at the Independent California Motel. When he'd called her, dyin' at 3AM and she showed up no questions asked. Shit, he didn't know it was possible to love someone like this. Everyone else had given up on him, but she never fuckin' did. Never doubted him for a second. He smiled at her, and she smiled right back.

Suddenly she was gone.

The storm stopped, and then the entire cabin disappeared.

Everything around him flashed black, and then came into focus again. He wasn't in the desert now. Shit. He was back in Night City, sitting on that rooftop, back where he'd decided to call Panam, and storm 'saka tower.

Johnny was sitting on the railing, looking out over the city.

It was dark, V could hear the sound of cars on the streets, the other sounds of the city below, could feel the rain on his face.

Johnny spoke but didn't turn around. "What did you get yourself into this time V? You didn't do it for a girl did you?"

V smiled, looked at the city, and then back to Johnny. "I think that makes two of us. Doin' crazy shit for love. If I'm rememberin' right, you stormed 'saka Tower for Alt."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Johnny laughed. "Look at us V. Hopeless romantics. Who woulda' thought? Was it worth it?"

"Yeah...yeah I think it was..."

Johnny smiled, walked over, and sat down next to V. "Cigarette V?"

V nodded at Johnny. "Sure... Why not?"

The cigarette lit itself as Johnny handed it to him. They sat there for a while, smoking, looking out over the city. V wondered if this was it, if this was how he was spending his eternity.

Johnny finally spoke, he was still looking out over the city. "You take care of yourself V." Then he vanished.

V looked out at Night City, wondering how long until his mind would break. Or till Ortega powered off that machine. He took another drag off the cigarette.

His vision swirled black again, and V felt a different sensation. Like he was being put back into his head.

Something heavy on his shoulder now. Cold. Metal.

"Hey there, V."

Author's note – Thank you for reading this long chapter. I hope I was able to convey V and Panam's love for each other, how special having a connection like that is, especially in the dystopian future. You can put me in the hopeless romantic column along with Johnny Silverhand and V. And no, we aren't done with this story yet.