Chapter 10
7 BBY — Concordia
Cassian stood frozen with clenched fists in front of the huge heavy wooden doors that Din had closed in his face for several minutes. El was trying to talk to him but he could not hear her because of the raging blood rushing in his ears. He would not be sidelined — not when it meant keeping Din and his family alive. No matter how much he wanted to strangle Din for shutting him out.
Cassian's brain was moving at a speed he could not control, moving through all of the scenarios he could come up with, and every time he came to the same conclusion: they needed help.
Cassian turned on his heel and walked away, back to the Verd'ika ship and El could not get him to stop.
"Please, Cassian! Are you listening to me? We need to talk about how to stop this!" El grabbed his arm.
Cassian pulled his arm away and scoffed, "El, you know your people far better than I do — I can barely keep up with all of the subtext in your conversations with HIM — and even I know there is nothing we can do to stop this!" He clenched his fists again and without breaking his stride he turned to shake them at her. "WHY ARE YOU ALL SO — SO — MANDALORIAN?"
El frowned, she had no response to that question.
Cassian stomped up onto the ramp, saluted the Verd'ika and went directly to the coms.
El ran in behind him, "I know what you're thinking, Cassian! You cannot leave me on Mandalore!"
Cassian shook his head as he dialed in his signal, "El, you know you have to follow the plan! The Resistance will need every Mandalorian they have if this is going to work. If Clan Viszla has set their minds to create the biggest diversion — in the history of the galaxy — you have no choice but to take advantage of their actions."
Cassian was almost talking to himself as he typed in his passcodes.
"Gargon — we had no idea that was in play, therefore, that is what falls on me. I have to find a way to make sure that the Warriors are not wiped out in some glorious, fool-hardy last stand. I know they will muster every Warrior they can, but we need ships — we need space support to counter the Star Destroyer. That is the only way they can hope to last. I have got to bring in the Rebellion."
Cassian crossed the hold and slammed a fist into the button that raised the outer ramp, then he went directly back to the coms. "Verd'ika, get us outta here! We have to take Lady El to Mandalore then we are headed to Gargon!"
"Sir, the Ruus`alor signaled before you walked up. I'm only allowed to take you to Mandalore, to Sundari," he said quietly.
Cassian felt his anger boil over, he opened his mouth to take the Verd'ika down a few levels — but then closed his eyes and mouth. He was not this young man's commanding officer, and Cassian was not angry with him, he was angry with Din.
"You're — absolutely — right. We do need to get Lady El back. And then, take me to a place where I can hire a ship," Cassian said with a tight jaw.
The Verd'ika hesitated, but then nodded, "Yes, sir." He turned to head to the cockpit.
Cassian's first hail went unanswered. He growled and punched the wall and hurt his hand. He shook his hand and leaned forward on the console.
El put a hand on Cassian's shoulder, "Stop. You're not helping anyone losing your mind."
Cassian stood up and held out his hands to her, "How? How could he do this? He knew we were there to see this through with them!"
El shrugged, "Cassian, if I could explain the pride of Warriors to you, my family would not have so many problems."
Cassian leaned against the console again, "He wouldn't even talk — he just said — 'go.'"
El's brows creased, "Cassian, he gave you his Foundling name. We don't speak Foundling names outside of the family because we want all Foundlings to be completely accepted into Mandalorian society. That he would give you his name means you really are — his brother."
Cassian was leaning on the console looking at the floor trying to slow his breathing.
"So — I just sent my brother to his death. And he warned me. He knew what Sarin would say. He knew that he would be expected to serve. So now they are all going to die. Because I felt I had to open my mouth and say that Mandalorians need to retake Mandalore," Cassian had tears in his eyes.
El's face was grieved, "Cassian, I did too."
Then she pulled his chin towards her and he saw she had tears in her eyes, "But when you are alone, and you swear to yourself and to everyone who has died so far, that you will NEVER let the Empire rule the galaxy, don't you also feel sometimes that — you can see the galaxy free again?"
Cassian shook his head, "I don't think I've ever felt certain about anything."
El's face became earnest, "Did you ever consider that Din's family feels that way about their role too?"
Cassian realized that even though he did not feel certain of an outcome, he had to admit to himself that he did actually feel something. Cassian took a cleansing breath, and finally released his grip on the console, and they sat down and strapped in for embarking, and El kept her arm around Cassian as he closed his eyes to try to relieve the tension in his face. As his adrenaline started to ebb away, he realized his cheek and left thigh were aching.
They cleared the atmosphere of Concordia and were nearly half way to Mandalore when the coms finally rang an incoming signal. Cassian jumped up and put on the headphones and then steeled his expression for this call.
Mon Mothma's face appeared on the screen.
"Cassian, how are you, my boy?" Her gentle voice still caused his heart to melt, as if she was embracing him as a child again in his treehouse on Fest.
"I'm fully recovered, Mon, the Mandalorians have taken great care of me," he offered her a lopsided smile, "and that is why I've called."
Mon Mothma nodded, "Is this about your friend the Warrior?"
Cassian nodded, "Yes, Mon, I've learned he's a Foundling of Clan Viszla, his father, General Viszla, has been targeted by the ISB."
Mon Mothma nodded, "The General is well known to us."
Cassian nodded, "He is the owner of the last known large deposit of Phobium in Mandalorian space, located on Gargon. The ISB needs the Phobium that Viszla holds for their weapons projects, and they plan to take him out."
Mon Mothma frowned, "You have evidence of this?"
Cassian nodded again, "Yes, documented proof." Cassian sighed and looked away before turning back to look Mon Mothma in the eye, "I know it requires significant consideration to commit assets to something like this — but because the battle will likely be on Gargon, not on Mandalore — it could not be seen as an invasion of Mandlorian affairs."
Mon Mothma shook her head, "Cassian, I understand you feel this Warrior is like a brother to you, but this is not the time to allow our feelings to dictate our use of resources," Mon Mothma tried to use her softest tones, and it infuriated Cassian.
Cassian closed his eyes, "Mon, I don't think that you should be lecturing me about allowing our feelings to guide our actions," Cassian seethed as he breathed deeply, trying to control his heart rate. "I seem to recall you using every resource you had to rescue one small child at the end of the Clone Wars."
Mon nodded, with tears in her eyes, "I did. And do I regret it? Not for a single. Damn. Moment. Ever."
Mon took a breath, "But was it the right thing for the Republic at the time? Can you answer that question, Cassian? Because I don't think you'll like the answer."
Cassian frowned.
Mon shrugged, "And can you say this plan is the best thing for the Rebellion, right now? With our resources scattered, our funding for fuel running out, our Rebellion cells still only loosely associated, our command still fragmented, squabbling, and sometimes so bloody democratic that they can't decide a damn thing?…. I actually think your father would be proud of us."
Cassian could not hide a split-second smirk.
Mon's brows came together, "Do you think we are ready? Or would this battle break us forever?"
Cassian shook his head, "I don't know, Mon."
She nodded, "Neither do I, son." Mon wiped tears from her cheeks. "Give me one day, I'll confer with the generals, but I cannot promise you — anything."
Cassian put a hand up to the monitor, "Thank you, Mon. I love you."
"I love you, Cassian," Mon smiled, and then she disappeared.
Cassian pushed the headphones down off his head to his neck and collapsed back into the jump seat next to El.
El put a hand on his shoulder again. "Because Din is not here to thank you, I want to thank you for trying," then she smiled. "Your mother is beautiful."
Cassian did not feel the need to correct her, instead he nodded, "She is."
El nodded, "She saved you at the end of the Clone Wars?"
Cassian nodded, "Yes, after my father was killed she raised me. But it actually wasn't Mon who saved me. She was in the Senate, so she was too far away to get to me. She had to send the villain of the story into the war zone to save me…"
Suddenly Cassian sat up.
"That's it — I know who can help us," he went back to the coms, and started to type. "WHY DID I NOT THINK OF THIS BEFORE?"
20 BBY — CARIDIA
Cassian would remember the first time he saw Saw Gererra for the rest of his life. Saw was tall, dressed like a battle-worn hero, his chocolate skin was criss-crossed with scars, and had dark twinkle in his endlessly deep brown eyes. Cassian also noticed that people moved around him, everywhere he went. They gave way due to respect, due to admiration, and due to the pure power in his gaze.
After Mina Bonteri's death her son, Lux, had fought with Saw to free Onderon and they had succeeded. But when other systems came to Saw seeking advice on how to conduct an insurrection on their own planets, Saw left Onderon in capable hands, because he began to see a greater pattern in the breakdown of the organized and peaceful governance of the outer rim territories. When news of the protests at Carida came to Saw's attention he immediately saw a connection.
As soon as Saw arrived, he came to meet Max at the Carida Academy, and Cassian was there. Cassian stared at him in awe. They spoke for hours in Max's cramped, warm, dusty academic office about what was happening in the Republic, and Saw's experience with the Jedi. The protests were ongoing during most daylight hours and sometimes into the night as the crowd shifted its demographic from the seasoned protestors to the younger ones who liked to light bonfires.
Saw looked out the small windows to the dusk bonfires and lowered his glass of water, the only drink he would accept, and sighed.
"The Jedi were spread too thin, and every time it looked like they might send some help to Onderon, another conflict of greater strategic importance required their attention. In the end they sent only a Padawan to guide us. It was as if some grand design was moving pieces, furthering the game. Only in this game as each piece fell, more people died. I have now seen the same pattern in multiple systems, and I believe that this is exactly how expansion of the Republic militarism is causing more problems than solutions and weakening more systems as self-governance fails."
Maximillian's eyes now had circles under them from lack of sleep. He nodded as he leaned back in his creaking desk chair.
"Yes, and I can tell you that I have felt the same at the Congress. The original Separatists' idealism begins to wane as the war continues, more systems suffer, and more of the original Separatists are dying. Since Mina Bonteri's death it is as if some grand planner has found each and every one of their greatest fears. I am beginning to wonder if any of the original congress will survive," Max looked haunted as he spoke.
Saw's dark eyes shifted over to Cassian, "Your boy, you speak like this in front of him?"
Max smiled over at Cassian, "A good friend of ours once said that Cassian must hear all of our thoughts because his generation will have to make better choices than we did. I felt that was sound advice. And he is my only real hope for the future, Mr. Gererra."
Saw lifted his chin, "Come, boy, let me look at you."
Cassian eagerly went to Saw's side and inspected the scars that crossed his dark skin up close.
Saw narrowed his eyes, "How old are you young man?"
Cassian lifted his chin, "I'm six, sir."
Saw tapped his hands on both of Cassian's shoulders, "Small, but strong. And I see, no fear in your eyes. You — have seen death, haven't you?"
Cassian's smile faded, but he kept his eyes up as he pressed his lips together and nodded.
Saw frowned, "I'm sorry, that is hard, boy. We do want better for you, both your dad and I." Then he lifted his chin up again, "Young Master Cassian, what do you think of this fight?" Saw said with a dangerously raised eyebrow.
Cassian looked to his father and then said very seriously, "I think that we — must protest for peace — for Mina Bonteri."
Saw nodded gravely he could hear in the boy's answer echoing speeches by Cassian's father, but he could see passion in the boy's eyes especially regarding carrying on for Bonteri, "That is an honorable cause, son. I would fight by your side any day."
Three days after Saw left, the Republic arrived in a cruiser — as peacekeepers.
Cassian awoke to a commotion outside that morning, someone had come to tell Maximillian that there were clone troopers in the city. Cassian and Max arrived at the Caridia Academy and found that there were hundreds of clone troopers, and they had started to set up large barriers to deter the protestors from gathering in great numbers
"Commander! Commander!" Max pleaded with the commanding trooper in yellow painted armor. "What is your name, sir?"
"Commander Cody, sir. And who are you?" The clone said sternly, but diplomatically.
"I am Maximillian Andor of the Confederacy of Independent Systems. These are peaceful protests, Commander. We only seek an audience with the Senate, and the Chancellor," Max said with genuine earnest.
The Commander seemed to sympathize, "I'm afraid, Mr. Andor, that the Chancellor is the one who ordered us to peacefully disperse the protestors. I don't think he will respond to this type of — expression."
Max put a hand on Cassian's shoulder, "I see. Well, perhaps there is someone else we could consult?"
"Sir, if you like, I could try contacting the Jedi and suggest they send someone to try to mediate between you and the Senate. Would that be agreeable?" Commander Cody said hopefully.
Max turned back and smiled warmly. "Yes, Commander, that would do quite well, indeed. Now please, let us prepare a statement for the protestors before they arrive. That way they will not look at this as another imperialist gesture by the Republic," Max waved the Commander and his staff into the building.
The clone troopers agreed to holster their weapons and only stand guard at the protest, and Max was to make a speech. When the usual crowd of about two thousand had gathered, there was already unrest.
"Citizens! Please, try not to let the troopers presence unsettle you. Their presence shows your hard work has resulted in progress! The Chancellor has heard your cries and sent these dedicated troopers to ensure these protests are safe and do not become a riot."
"Maybe it should be a riot!" A young voice yelled.
"Please! These protests are in the name of the late Mina Bonteri. She would not want any violence, no matter how much anger we have toward the Republic. These soldiers have offered to help us find a mediator to negotiate our requests to the Galactic Senate and the Chancellor. We must view this as a move toward the end of the war! Embrace this day!" Max's voice rang out over the crowd, and everyone, protestors and clones all felt his hope for the outcome of the conflict.
Hope, however, was not the only agenda in this crowd.
"My home is destroyed because of the Republic!"
"My family are all dead of starvation because of the Republic!"
"My livelihood and my planetary system are all bankrupt because of the Republic!"
"My ancestral grounds were destroyed by the Jedi in a battle!"
"DOWN WITH THE REPUBLIC! DOWN WITH THE CHANCELLOR! DOWN WITH THE JEDI!"
Within seconds, as both Max and Commander Cody tried to calm the crowd the first stones were thrown. Commander Cody turned away from Max, and gave the order for the stone throwers to be detained. As soon as the arrests began, the frenzy started.
Max tried to move Cassian and several others to a safer location inside the Academy building, but the clone troopers would not let them leave the area. They were herded into a holding area outside. Cassian put his hands over his ears as he began to hear screams of protest and pain from both citizens and clone troopers.
Not long after the fighting began, some protestors arrived with weapons, and the first shots rang out against the clones. Cassian could hear chatter amongst the clones of movement of protestors, and Cassian worried about their friends.
The clones tried to move into a more defensible position, which was near the holding area where Cassian and Max were standing with more of the protest leaders. They all became frightened as the weapons fire increased, even though the clones were only shooting to stun.
Cassian could recall every detail of the bomb that killed Mina Bonteri, where it hit the entry hall of the house, the way the structure crumbled on top of her, where he was standing in relation to where the blast wave threw him to the ground. But he could not recall a single moment of the blast that hit the holding area and the crowd and troopers gathered there.
Cassian could only recall waking up in his father's arms, his ears were ringing, and his father was covering him with his body, and had his arms around him. Max was quite heavy though, so Cassian tried to tap his father's arm to get him to move. Max did not move.
Cassian tried to turn his head and see if his father was still unconscious, but the moment he looked at Max's face Cassian could see the light was gone from his father's eyes.
Cassian began to scream.
He pushed off his father's body, and jumped up still screaming. He could see that more than half of the protestors, and more than half of the clones in the holding area were all dead.
Cassian reached down to his father again, grabbing him by the jacket, and trying to pull him up. But a clone trooper came up to him and tried to help. Cassian began to beat at the clone trooper with his fists.
"He was trying to help these people! He was trying to take us inside the building! You stopped him from saving us! It is YOUR FAULT HE IS DEAD!"
Cassian twisted out of the grip of the clone trooper just as another blast came. Cassian took cover and then took off running. He went to the side entrance of the Academy building, and then went inside. He found a large group of the younger students gathered.
"Head up to the roof! Use the rocks to drive them toward the open square! We've stolen another bomb! We can use it on them there! Then they will be forced to leave!"
The students were Separatist sympathizers and they all knew Cassian's father. Cassian grabbed as many rocks as he could carry in his shirt and followed the younger students to the roof. He threw his rocks as hard as he could. He wished he had ten times as many.
The clone troopers eventually stormed the academy and Cassian was stunned along with most of the students on the roof.
That night, Cassian awoke in a prison transport vehicle, he was alone, likely due to his age. He could still hear talking and arguing, but at least there was no more blaster fire or bombs. Cassian reached under his shirt and activated his transponder, and then after a few hours of expecting to see Mon appear magically, he fell asleep due to complete exhaustion.
The next morning, the door to the prison transport vehicle opened once to reveal Commander Cody. He did not speak, he stepped inside, set down a large cup of water, and a vegetable stew with bread. Then he walked back out, and relocked the door. Cassian ate the entire plate.
It was hours before the next time the door opened, and it revealed someone Cassian never expected to see: Saw Gererra. Saw stepped up into the vehicle. The door closed behind him, and he sat down across from Cassian.
At first he seemed almost overcome with emotion. His lip trembled and his brown eyes were liquid with tears, "I'm so very sorry about your father, Cassian."
Cassian kept his lip firm, his rage was still burning.
"Commander Cody says that it was a stolen Republic bomb that killed him," Saw said carefully.
"It doesn't matter," Cassian said coldly.
"What?" Saw was confused.
"It doesn't matter what bomb or who killed him. Commander Cody prevented my father from moving us from the street into the building where we would have been safe. The Republic clones are the reason he is dead," Cassian said with clenched teeth.
Saw dropped his hands and sighed, "I understand, boy. And you're probably right. But you should know that the troopers did not allow you to enter the building because they knew that the younger and more violent protestors were already inside. They were worried for your safety."
"I WAS FINE! I JOINED THEM! I FOUGHT THE CLONES!" Cassian screamed.
Saw nodded, "I know, that's why you're here in this prison vehicle. Do you know why I'm here?"
Cassian shook his head.
Saw pointed to the slowly blinking red light on Cassian's transponder. "Mon sent me to find you. She's too far away right now to come to you." Saw's dark twinkle was back. "Want to join some real fighters?"
20 BBY — ONDERON
Six weeks passed slowly. Cassian went back to Onderon with Saw and he trained with his Partisans. Some of them were kind to him, but some of them were quite scary. Saw kept Cassian close, and checked on him regularly, but he was busy with overseeing his soldiers and with his intelligence operation.
Cassian was surprised at how diverse Saw's soldiers were, as well as how many young orphans, like Cassian, there were in his ranks. Cassian made some friends, but mostly they were homesick, and all were traumatized. Cassian did not cry once he arrived, but he did not sleep well either.
One evening, without any announcement, Mon Mothma walked into the bunk room. She could barely catch her breath, her heart was beating so quickly. Cassian was curled up into a ball, hugging a torchlight to his chest and it was shining up onto his face. She crossed the room and knelt down by his bunk and then reached out and smoothed his unruly dark hair that obscured half his face. His face was dirty, and his clothes needed laundering, but it was her boy. She savored that moment after months of wondering when and if she would ever see him again, she had finally gotten to her tiny boy in the middle of a war zone. She watched Cassian sleep peacefully, until suddenly her com beeped.
"Mon Mothma, we must leave as soon as possible," Commander Draven signaled.
"Acknowledged, Commander," she said sternly.
When she turned back to Cassian, his eyes were open and his brows were creased.
Mon smiled down at Cassian, "My boy, I'm finally here."
Cassian jumped up and scooted away from her to the back corner of the bunk.
Mon sat patiently by the bunk, "Cassian, I'm sorry it took so long, I know that six weeks is an eternity. Even six days is too long to live in fear. But I've kept my promise, and I just need to know if you prefer to stay here with Saw, or come with me."
Cassian hugged the torchlight that Saw had given him to help with his fear of the nightmares, and to help him sleep. He couldn't look her in the eye. It was too painful for him to remember the times with Mon and his father. The warmth, the laughter, and the love all overwhelmed him.
Cassian suddenly began to cry. His hand reached up to the transponder that was still around his neck. When he had called Mon, he thought she would magically appear within seconds. Looking back he realized how naive that had been, but he still had dreamed about her enough to be suspicious of any apparition of Mon Mothma.
"Cassian, you need to go. Go with Mon Mothma. Your father would want you to be together, and you don't belong here," Saw said quietly from behind Mon Mothma.
Mon had not heard Saw enter because she was so focused on Cassian's fearful face.
Cassian looked back at Saw and wiped the tears off his face, "But, I'm a Warrior. And you need my help."
Saw nodded, "I do need your help. But — when I close my eyes, I can hear my sister speaking to me. She often guides me. When you close your eyes, and you hear your father speaking, what does he say to you?"
Cassian closed his eyes, What should I do father? Who needs my help more?
For a few moments Cassian heard nothing. But then, perhaps because for the first time he was listening, as clear as if Max was sitting next to Cassian, he heard the response.
Son, you will help Saw, when you are older. For now, you need to be a child for a little longer. I should have given that to you. Please, go with Mon.
Cassian opened his eyes, and gasped with the power of the emotions he was feeling. And he lunged into Mon Mothma's arms.
I love you, son.
7 BBY — CONCORIDA
Din was standing in front of a mirror in his quarters. He looked at his scarred face and chest and wondered how much further he would be able to go. He traced the scar of his chest wound from Zanbar with his finger, and then he dropped his hand and frowned.
Din was comfortable with what his family was planning, he was comfortable with facing the impending battle, but he still had a lot of unease when he thought of how he had treated Cassian. Din had to distance himself, he had to make sure that Cassian survived. The only way Din could envision Cassian surviving was to keep him as far away from his family as possible.
Din began his ritual of dressing in his armor. He pressed his doublet, he checked his clasps for damage, he measured the integrity of the steel, and he touched up the paint on his sigil. He finished a full thirty minutes early, but Din did not like to be late.
Din walked over to the ships with his duffel bag and found an empty locker to claim. He set the locker code to his vambrace and then closed it.
"Anxious to leave?" Sarin said behind him.
"Yes, sir," Din said quietly. He did not hear Sarin approach because Sarin was in the ship already when he walked in.
Sarin sat heavily in the jump seats near to where Din stood at the lockers. He looked up at his son, but Din stood silently at attention waiting for Sarin to speak. Sarin shook his head and sighed,
"Son — why can't you speak candidly with me? Paz will not stop giving me his opinions. I can tell that you and Ra are not satisfied, and your opinions mean more to me than all of the other commanders." Sarin shifted in his seat, "You could always talk to Ra, but never to me."
Din could not articulate the feelings he had. He was like Ra in his thoughts, but he did not have her talent in locution. So he said nothing.
Sarin shook his head, "Son, I know you think that this is a tragic waste, but have you ever considered that this could be the moment that our society comes back together? That the efforts of the Warriors could be what forces our people to look at each other like brothers and sisters?
Din nodded, but he did not reply.
"I don't want you to be a part of anything you don't believe in, son," Sarin said leaning back into his seat.
Din looked over at Sarin, "General — you think that I don't want to be with you on this mission?"
Sarin looked up at him, waiting for an answer.
"I trust you and Ra to make the best choice for Mandalore, Buir," Din said simply.
Sarin nodded, "But your friend, what was he hoping for? Does he want what is best for Mandalore?"
Din paused for a moment, "I think — he was hoping for what is best for the galaxy. And he felt that the Rebellion should be here — because Mandalore is part of what is best for the galaxy."
Sarin shook his head, "Why did the Republic, and then the Empire, and now the Rebellion feel like they could help us? Mandalore's problems go back much further than the last fifty years."
Din nodded, "I think that Cassian knows loss, and he wanted to help me avoid losing more than he has."
Sarin looked at Din, "Does Cassian know how much you have lost, my son?"
Din nodded, "Yes, sir."
Sarin sighed, "Now I begin to see in you what Paz saw, the day you saved that boy's life in the interrogation room. You understand. You can see in him what I can."
Din looked back at Sarin, "That he has a purpose."
Sarin nodded, "And it is not on Mandalore."
Din looked away, "And we must prevent him from dying for this cause — just because he cares about me."
"That is correct. There is a time for those who love us to stand with us. But there is also a time when some of us must sacrifice to save the future for others." Sarin stood up, "Paz has detained Lieutenant Andor as he approached Gargon on a ship flown by Saw Gererra's men. Cassian says that Saw Gererra is coming to our aid. And he is begging to see you."
Din sighed, but could not help but chuckle.
"Your friends are quite loyal, my boy. That is the trait of a true leader," Sarin said with admiration.
Din nodded, "Or a brother."
Sarin put a hand on Din's shoulder, "Make sure he stays with Saw. Not on the planet. Understood?"
Din nodded, "Yes, sir."
Sarin nodded back, ""Oya, Mando'ade."