Epilogue of the Epilogue
One year later
The five remaining members of The Boys all met up at Femboy Hooters to catch up. It had been a year since the rest of The Boys tragically died of coronavirus. Ser Davos had a new lease on life, and decided to pursue his dream of becoming a Disney actor. He got lucky and scored the main role in a small, indie series called The Mandalorian, whatever the fuck that is. Yoda had been reincarnated as a baby version of himself. This is what happens when a jedi passes away. Negan was feeling particularly happy. He had just got engaged to his new cycloptic love, Rhombulus. Emo Peter decided to wear the Spidey Suit at all times in memory of his friends. He smelled like absolute shit. Gandalf the White was no more, for he had been reborn as Gandalf the Black.
"Ah fuck, it's you guys," Moe complained as the team walked in. "Everytime youse walk into my Femboy Hooters, everything always goes to shit. HEY BARNEY!" He called out to an overweight drunk who was lounging by the TV. "Turn off the fucking news, these assholes are a bad omen!" Barney ignored him, for he had drunk himself into another coma.
Ser Davos removed his Mando helmet as he sat down by the table. He looked at his old team. They were the same yet so very very different. "Well laddies, it looks like there is a lot of explaining to be done." Negan shotback with " Well no shit Davos, why in the name of fuck are you dressed like Bobba Fett and why the hell is Yoda a baby?" Ser Davos explained how the ways of the jedi worked and how Disney took advantage of their faith and made an exploitive show on their streaming service for a quick buck. When the Mandalorian finished, he raised his eyebrow as he saw a ring on Negan's finger. "Okay laddie, you finally gonna tell me about him?" Negan smacked Rhombulus's chest with lucille, doing zero damage. "This man here's a real man! Not like that cyclops who shall not be named!" Rhombulus blushed. "Oh hun!" The two then began to makeout, no one really minded.
Ser Davos was cradling baby Yoda in his arms. Yoda reached for Davos' chest and began to cry out. "Uh oh," Ser Davos said, "looks like some laddie's hungry!" He then undid his Mando suit and began breastfeeding baby Yoda at the table. This, The Boys did have a problem with. "Good heavens! Could you please not do that at the table!" Gandalf objected. Peter chimed in. "C'mon Gandalf! When you're hungry ,you're hungry! By the way, you're lookin' more Black Veil Brides than I am these days, what gives!?"
The gothic wizard cleared his throat and pinched his nose. "It is funny that you mention that my dear arachnid-loving comrade. As powerful of a mage I was in my white days, the coronavirus was mightier. After battling with that foul demon for two agonizing weeks, darkness finally took hold of me. And I strayed out of thought and time. In my slumber, star wheeled overhead, and everyday was as long as the life age of the earth. But it was not the end. I felt darkness within me. And I've been sent back until my task is done." Spider-Man scratched his head. "Task? (He thought of Taskmaster) You're telling me you got another gig chief?" Gandalf smiled and pulled out a Black Panther mask out of thin air. He placed it over his face and did the crossarm Wakandan salute. The Boys' jaws had all dropped to the floor. "Uh dude," Negan said, "hate to break the horse shit here but you ain't black! How the hell did you become the new Black Panther?" This wasn't an easy thing to explain.
"After the death of T'Challa," Gandalf proceeded, "Life just wasn't the same. Wakanda was in dire need of leadership, and I came back as a symbol for black kind." Spidey was still a little puzzled. "I don't think I'll ever understand what you just said, but I'm glad you got a solid gig." Gandalf laughed. "I'm a wizard by day and a vigilante by night, shit's cray cray."
Emo Peter spoke up. "I gotta duty you guys!" All The Boys snickered. "Then go to the bathroom!" Rhombulus said laughing. "NO!", Emo Peter said, "I mean, I have a new responsibility!" Negan sighed. "Well that's better." Emo Peter continued. "Ya see, this kid named Miles is becoming a new Spider-Man! And I'm helping train him! I protect Queens! And he protects Brooklyn!" Ser Davos spoke up. "I guess fuck Manhattan, Staten Island, and The Bronx then."
All of a sudden Negan's phone rang. He answered it and put it on speaker phone. What sounded like a middle-aged sailor or pirate or some shit was on the other end. "Negan! Get yer landlubber ass down to the pawn shop! The old man needs you to work today!" Negan was kinda disappointed. He wanted to spend the day kickin' it with his Boys, but now he had to work with his brothers down at his Dad's pawn shop. He got up, grabbed Rhombulus, and sighed. "Sorry guys, my dad needs me! I have to work at the pawn shop again with my three brothers, Mung Daal, Chumlee, and the Flying Dutchman." Ser Davos thought for a moment. "Funny how I never knew those were your brothers. You all look so much alike." Negan laughed and gave Rhombulus another smack with his bat. "Haha, yeah. Get that all the time. C'mon sexy, let's get a move on!" The two left Femboy Hooters, leaving the Boys behind. As much as the team loved each other, they knew this was it. They had their own lives to live now. Unlike you reading this fanfiction about a civil war between a Marvel villain and a long deceased Walking Dead character.