A/N: Merry Christmas, Blessed Winter Solstice, Happy Hanukah, etc. My schedule is finally slowing down, and so hopefully my updates will be more consistent after the end of the month. Hope you enjoy this latest chapter!
"Here we go again
These little earthquakes
Doesn't take much to rip us into pieces"
-"Little Earthquakes", Tori Amos
Just before midnight, his eyes took shape. Brushing her hair back from where it had fallen, Jenny smiled slightly to herself as she moved her pencil over the paper, making no sudden movements. She didn't want to risk him noticing her, doing everything in her power to make it look as though she were merely holding the pencil in her hand. She'd been sketching him for hours as he'd sat drinking his bourbon, waiting to see how long it would take before his curiosity peaked and he asked her what in the hell she was doing.
Aries was sleeping with his head in Gibbs' lap, and once the former marine had realised this, he hadn't moved. It was such an endearing sight that Jenny had immediately pulled a blank piece of paper from her journal and began sketching, hoping to capture the moment. He finally glanced in her direction, and she pretended as though she hadn't noticed, still sketching from memory.
"You okay?"
"Mhmm," she replied absentmindedly, "I'm fine."
She was nearly finished, so close that she had difficulty keeping her hand from shaking, and as she made the final stroke with her pencil, she paused, just long enough to admire it.
"What have you been sketching for the better part of three hours, Jen?"
Damn. She always forgot that he was one of the most observant people she'd ever met. She shrugged, handing him the paper, and when he looked it over, he frowned. He'd known that she'd always enjoyed sketching and painting, but he'd never seen any of her finished work before. Even in charcoal grey, she had managed to give his eyes depth, captured the hidden emotions behind them, and he stared at it for so long that she began to fidget nervously, twisting her hands in her lap.
"You hate it, don't you?"
He shook his head, still examining it. The hair on Aries' ears looked so lifelike on the paper that he very nearly reached out to touch it, and he raised his eyes to look at her seriously.
"This is good, Jen. Damn good. Is there anything you can't do?"
"Dance," she answered promptly, shaking her head, "I always wanted to be a ballet dancer, but I've got no coordination."
Gibbs laughed, the sound waking Aries, and he glanced up at the former marine indignantly.
"Look, Aries. Mommy drew you. You're a lot cuter this way."
He held up the paper to the puppy, who tilted his head at it curiously before returning to his previous position on Gibbs' lap. Jenny rolled her eyes at his words, shaking her head slowly, and when Gibbs stood suddenly, her confusion increased. He made his way over to the bookshelf, turning on the old CD player, and Jenny looked at him as though she'd never seen him before.
"Since when do you listen to music?"
"I only listen to five songs, Jen."
As she realised what was playing, Jenny smiled sadly, and he held out his hand as he moved closer to her. Taking it, she stood, allowing him to pull her into his arms, and as she laid her head on his shoulder, she focused on his heartbeat in her ear.
"She had a lot of talent," Jenny said softly.
"So do you," he answered with a smile, "I can't even draw a straight line with a ruler."
She laughed, glancing up at him as they danced around the living room, and he shook his head.
"You laugh, but it's true. Something always moves. The paper, the pencil, the ruler, I don't know."
It always amazed Jenny that Gibbs was such a graceful dancer, given everything else she knew about him, but as he spun her away from him, she had never felt so light, so free, so pure. She landed back in his arms with a smile, and he placed a light kiss to her temple as the song ended, making her feel unexpectedly sad.
"I love you, Jethro," she whispered.
"I love you, too. More than you'll ever know."
For the first time in weeks, she found herself daring to believe him.
Years later, when he stopped to truly think about it, Leroy Jethro Gibbs found that he placed the blame of the events following Heather Shepard's overdose solely on his future mother-in-law. It's highly unlikely that Jenny's breakdown would have been as severe (or perhaps not even occurred at all) if her mother hadn't arrived on the scene, prepared to start a fight from the moment her feet touched the ground. As it happened, Gibbs found himself feeling as though he were watching a movie, powerless to stop the events as they unfolded. Considering how normally the day had began, he was left reeling in the late hours of the evening, watching Jenny as she was pulled, screaming, from the living room by Doctor Donald Mallard, sedating her as soon as they were out of sight.
Gibbs had never felt such a strange combination of pure rage and helplessness as he stared at Morgan Shepard, trying to figure out how such an awful woman had given birth to one as selfless as Jenny. How had this day taken such a drastic turn? More confusing still, why did he feel as though he was one catastrophe away from losing his mind?
The last person Jenny expected to see when she opened her front door was a tall thin woman with bottle-blonde hair, eyes heavily made up, and wearing clothing better suited for a dance club than an average Wednesday evening. The eyes were the only thing vaguely familiar, but Jenny was in such a state of disbelief that she struggled to make the connection.
"Can I help you?" she asked, her voice carefully neutral.
She and Gibbs had only come back to her house to collect some of her painting supplies, and she could think of no one who would need to speak with her so urgently that it couldn't wait until the next business day.
"Is that any way to talk to your mother?"
Jenny frowned, shaking her head slowly.
"What are you—"
"Jen, is everything okay?"
Gibbs placed his hand on her lower back as he walked up behind her, his eyes quickly noticing her discomfort. She turned to glance at him, her eyes telling him to stay close, and he set the box he was carrying down on the ground. Jenny's eyes were locked on the woman in front of her, and Gibbs could feel her shaking as she stood next to him, though he didn't know why.
"Jennifer, you're being very rude. Aren't you going to introduce me to your boyfriend?"
Jenny didn't answer, still trying to make sense of this turn of events, and Gibbs looked at the older woman seriously. There was nothing to suggest that this woman was indeed Jenny's mother, though he could detect the red roots of her hair beneath the blonde, and it was only her eyes that convinced him in the end. They were Jenny's eyes, though her mother's had a coldness that he'd never seen before in her daughter's.
"You should be ashamed of yourself, young lady. Not even having the decency to tell me that Heather is on her deathbed...I had to find out from a hospital call, do you know how—"
"Wait," Jenny said suddenly, her voice tight, "What are you talking about? What's wrong with Heather?"
"Like you don't know," Morgan Shepard spat, her eyes hard, "She overdosed a few nights ago, and since you didn't even feel the need to call me, I had to find out through a third party. Do you have any idea how embarrassing that was? To have to explain to my friends that my oldest daughter is so self-absorbed that she couldn't even be bothered to visit her own sister?"
"I didn't know," Jenny answered quietly, "No one called me, I would have been there, I—"
"Don't lie to me," Morgan snapped, "Heather told me that you kicked her out, not even a penny to her name, and you threw her on the street!"
Jenny flinched at her mother's harsh tone, and it dimly registered in Gibbs' mind that she was afraid of the older woman. He was so used to her fearlessness, her quiet strength, and seeing her back down like this made him more than a little uneasy.
"Let's take this inside," he said with forced calm, "We don't need to make a scene for the neighbours."
He led them both back into the house, and as soon as the door closed behind her, Morgan Shepard turned to her daughter, her voice loud in the silence.
"What kind of person throws their flesh and blood out on the street when they need help? I didn't raise you to behave that way."
"You didn't raise me at all," Jenny muttered, "You were too busy whoring around with Dad's friends, and when he divorced you, it was the best thing he ever did."
The resounding slap was so hard that it made Jenny's ears ring, and Gibbs was between them in an instant, instinctively pushing the redhead behind him.
"Don't you ever touch her like that again," he growled, his eyes locking onto the older woman's.
"This is a family matter, and since you're not family, I suggest you stay out of it. You're nothing more than my daughter's lapdog, and if you had any sense, you'd get as far away from her insanity as you could."
Jenny's face was ghostly pale, with the exception of the mark Morgan's hand had left, and she stepped out from behind Gibbs, her eyes blazing with pure fury.
"Jethro is my family, more than you ever were. Unlike you, he supports the people he loves, he doesn't abandon them when things are difficult, and loyalty actually means something to him."
Morgan Shepard rolled her eyes, letting them roam over her daughter slowly, and when she suddenly spoke again, her voice was so sickeningly sweet that it made Gibbs' teeth itch.
"Speaking of family, Heather also mentioned you were going to have a baby and then lost it. How'd you manage to screw that one up, Jennifer? You literally had to do nothing but carry the child."
"Don't," Jenny warned, her voice low and dangerous.
"I'm just saying, it's the one job you had as a mother, to keep your child alive, and you failed. Even I didn't mess up that badly."
Gibbs grabbed Jenny by the arm seconds before she lunged at her mother, holding her tightly in place.
"If I'm alive, it's because of Dad, not you," Jenny hissed, struggling against Gibbs' hold, "If you'd had your way, Heather and I would have grown up in the foster system because being a parent was too much for you. All you wanted to do was get wasted and fuck around."
"Is that what your father told you? He always was a weak pathetic man. He tried everything he could to make me stay, but I couldn't stay tied down to that man."
"What about us? What about your fucking children? Weren't we enough?"
Gibbs could feel his pocket vibrating as his phone rang, but there was no way he was going to let go of Jenny long enough to answer it. Finally, the voicemail picked up, and he unconsciously held her arm tighter as he tuned back in to their conversation.
"—that was like? We needed you! You were our mother, and you just left! Not a single word, no phone call, not even a god damned letter! Heather cried for weeks, she thought if she was good, if she did all of her homework, ate all of her vegetables, that you would come back! But you never did. You didn't come back until Dad died and you wanted to get your hands on his estate. Well, too bad, Morgan! He saw right through you, left everything to me, and if Heather hadn't turned to drugs, she would have gotten her own share."
Gibbs' phone began to ring again, and finally he pulled it out, glancing at the name briefly. He answered it quickly, though most of his attention was on the women in front of him, and never once let go of Jenny's arm.
"Not a good time, Duck."
"Is everything alright?"
"How could you live with yourself the first time Heather tracked you down and you sold her drugs? That was your own daughter, the child you should have laid down your life to protect, and you gave her cocaine. What kind of mother does that? Hell, what kind of person does that?"
Jenny's voice was loud enough that Ducky could hear it on the other end of the line, and his worry was evident in his tone.
"Jethro, what's going on?"
"Can you come to Jenny's house? Might need backup here."
"On my way."
He hung up without another word, and when he moved his hand from its place on Jenny's arm to take her hand, she pulled away, her eyes livid.
"Jen—"
"No, Jethro! Don't "Jen" me! She needs to hear this. You destroyed not just your own life, but ours, too. Do you know how long it took for me to realise that not every little girl runs and hides when their mother comes home from work because they're afraid she's going to hit them? That not every little girl's dad was forced to lock up his alcohol because his wife didn't know how to handle it?"
"I never hit you, Jennifer."
Jenny laughed, throwing her head back slightly, the sound bordering on hysterical.
"You hit me not even twenty minutes ago, you sadistic bitch! I always thought it was normal. I thought every daughter got locked in the hall closet when they got bad grades on a test. I thought every little kid was terrified of failing class, and I didn't understand that it was just you. Dad tried his best to protect us, but when he was overseas, our life was hell. I cried for days, begging him not to leave, because I was so scared of you. And for you to imply that I failed as a mother because of a tragic accident...that's the lowest you've ever sunk."
Gibbs heard the knock at the door, signaling Ducky's arrival, but made no move to answer it. Jenny was still shaking next to him, but this time, there was no fear. It was pure, unbridled fury, and though he was concerned, he was more proud of her than he'd ever been. Still, he held on to her arm, wary of letting go.
"Do you have any idea of what Heather's life was like after you gave her drugs? Do you know how many times she's come to me, begging for my help, only to go running back to you, because she knows you don't give a damn about her? She knows you don't care, and she's using that to justify her own insecurities. If her own mother doesn't even love her enough to help her get better, then why should she try? You're a worthless excuse of a person, and even less of a mother."
The front door opened slowly, and Ducky looked around the room in confusion, his eyes landing on Gibbs worriedly.
"Jethro? Jennifer? Is everything alright?"
"Everything's fine, Ducky," Jenny said, her voice soft, "Our guest was just leaving."
"Like hell I am, Jennifer. I came here for a reason, and—"
"And what reason was that? To blame me for Heather's overdose, when I didn't even know it had happened? Or maybe it was to fuel your own ego and pretend that you were a decent mother. Was that it?"
"I kept you both alive, and it wasn't always easy."
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Jenny whispered, shaking her head, "You know damn well that any happy memories we had of our childhood were because of Dad. As a child, it broke my heart when you left, but now I see it was the best thing you could have done for us."
"I loved you and Heather. Don't try to pretend otherwise."
"Love?" Jenny shook her head, shoving up the sleeves of her shirt angrily, "Is this what you call love? Shoving me into a stained glass window, leaving me to bleed to death on the floor because you were so fucking high and drunk that you didn't remember I was there? Scars don't lie, Morgan, and if that's what you consider love, then I want no part of it."
"It might be for the best that you lost your child, Jennifer. If this...this madness is what you're going to pass on to them, they're better off dead."
"You fucking bitch!"
Jenny wrenched her arm free of Gibbs' hold, throwing her full weight behind her hand as she slapped her mother, screaming as she swung again.
"Get the fuck out of my house, you god damned bitch!"
Gibbs acted quickly, grabbing Jenny around the waist and pulling her back, struggling to keep his hold. Ducky moved forward, reaching for her arm, and when Jenny landed another blow to the side of Morgan's head, he flinched. Tears were pouring from Jenny's eyes, a combination of rage, pain, and years of repressed resentment, and Ducky forced her to look at him, his eyes serious.
"Jennifer, calm down. Come with me, we'll get—"
"I want her out of here. Now!" she screamed.
Gibbs nodded, placing himself between Jenny and her mother. He knew Jenny would never lash out if it would put him at risk, and it was just enough to give Ducky time to pull her from the room, her sobs breaking his heart as he watched them leave. Turning to Morgan Shepard, he fixed her with a glare that made her flinch, and nodded his head in the direction of the door.
"You heard her. Get out. And my advice to you would be to never come back."
"I'm her mother, you can't just—"
"She doesn't need a mother like you. She's pretty damn amazing without you. And she's stronger than you'll ever be."
Morgan Shepard stared at him with Jenny's eyes, so full of hatred and ice that it made his heart ache, and when she finally began backing towards the door, her voice was low in the quiet house.
"Good luck. Jennifer is more than anyone can handle. Why do you think her father committed suicide?"
Gibbs shook his head.
"Not to me. And if you believe that, you're worse than I ever could have imagined. Now, leave before I call the police and have you arrested."
She stepped out into the cool night, closing the door without another word, and Gibbs immediately locked it, not trusting her to leave without a fight. When he was satisfied, he made his way into the kitchen, looking at the doctor seriously, scanning the room.
"Where's Jen?"
"Her study. I should warn you, Jethro...I had to sedate her to calm her down. She should be fine, but...she's very upset."
"Makes two of us," Gibbs muttered angrily, "Mom's a bitch."
Ducky nodded.
"I couldn't have said it better myself. I admire Jennifer's strength for being able to survive living with her. She's one of a kind."
Gibbs nodded, making his way past the older man, suddenly very aware of the beating of his own heart. Glancing down, he noticed that his hands were shaking. Violently. Taking a deep breath to steady himself, he pushed open the door to Jenny's study, frowning when he saw her sitting behind the desk. She was staring at the smooth wood of the desk as though she were transfixed, and when he called her name softly, she didn't look up.
He walked closer, stopping just in front of her chair, kneeling in front of her, trying to ignore the screaming in his knees. He reached for her hand, slowly pushing up the sleeve of her shirt, running his fingertips gently over the slightly raised white scars on her skin. His touch caused her to raise her eyes and when they locked onto his, he frowned at the pain reflected in them.
"You okay?"
As he watched her, he could see the battle going on behind her eyes, the question of whether she would lie and say she was fine, or if she would finally admit to needing help hanging in the air, and she eventually shook her head. Tears dripped onto the dark wood, and he moved closer, pulling her into his arms, her fingers grasping his shirt tightly.
"Why did she come back here? Was it just to make me feel like shit? Well, mission accomplished."
Gibbs shook his head, placing his lips to her temple, running his fingers through her hair.
"No, Jen. She did it to try to make herself feel better, but you didn't let her. You put her in her place, and I am so damn proud of you."
She half-laughed, half-sobbed, and he kissed her hair again, smoothing out the tangles. His other hand was still lightly trailing over the scars on her arms, and when he pulled back to look at her, she knew what he was going to ask even before he opened his mouth.
"What happened here?"
Jenny sighed, shaking her head slowly, and from the corner of his eye, Gibbs saw Ducky lingering in the hall, prepared to step in if needed.
"I was ten. My mo—Morgan was an artist. She was always painting, always sketching, and she decided that she was going to start making stained glass pieces. They were beautiful, filled with images of Greek mythology, forests, the stars...to this day, I've never seen anything like it. One day, I came home from school, and I went into the spare room. Back then, it was her studio. She was upset, crying over something, and I asked her what was wrong. She got angry that I'd come into the room, and she pushed me away from her when I tried to hug her. I tripped on some of her supplies, and fell into the glass. Tried to catch myself with my hands, and when I hit the ground, I hit my head on the corner of the wall. I guess she panicked and ran, left me laying on the floor, and a few hours later, Heather came into the room. She screamed, and it kind of woke me up from my unconsciousness, and I tried to get up."
She was shaking, her voice hardly above a whisper, but he could feel her fear as clearly as if he'd been in the room all those years ago.
"Next thing I knew, my dad was with me in the hospital, telling me that he loved me, that he was sorry he hadn't been there to stop her, and that she wouldn't ever hurt me again. Unfortunately, he was wrong, and when she finally left a year later, I finally felt like I could breathe. I didn't realise it until much later that she was drunk during the stained glass incident, that she was almost always drunk, and even now, when she's sober, she still doesn't see that what she did was wrong."
Jenny paused, taking a slow breath, and Gibbs ran his thumb under her eyes gently, giving her time to organise her thoughts.
"Jethro, what if she's right? Maybe what happened to Matthew was for the best. What if I'd been just like her?"
"The fact that you're asking, that you're concerned about it...that proves that you're nothing like her, Jen. That woman wasn't your mother. She was just the incubator for your body. A real mother doesn't treat their children like that. The only thing she gave you was your middle name, some of your physical features, and artistic talent. You're nothing like her. You're so much more than she could ever hope to be."
Jenny shook her head, her eyes locked onto his in desperation.
"But what—"
"Jennifer, you were an amazing mother, and if Matthew were still here, he would be so fortunate to have you supporting him."
Jenny glanced up, surprised to see Ducky standing in the doorway, and he gave her a warm smile.
"Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise, my dear."
She returned his smile weakly, tears still falling from her eyes, and Ducky crossed the room, pulling her into his arms, kissing her cheek gently.
"You will never be anything close to resembling that monster, Jennifer," he whispered, "Don't ever forget how strong you are, or how much I love you."
Nodding slowly, Jenny took a deep breath, trying to will her tears to stop. As she finally regulated her rapidly beating heart, she suddenly remembered the first thing Morgan Shepard had said to her, and her eyes widened as she pulled back from Ducky.
"What about Heather? I don't even know which hospital she's in. I have to find out, I have to see her."
"Easy, Jen," Gibbs said softly, running his hand over her hair, "I'll make some calls, see what I can find out. She likely didn't go back to her apartment, so she's still in the state. I'll call in the morning."
"But Jethro, she's—"
"It's late, and you need to sleep. You're emotionally and physically exhausted, so you're going to bed. No arguments about it."
One look at his eyes told her to stay quiet, and Jenny nodded, too tired to notice the look that passed between Ducky and Gibbs as the former helped her out of the chair.
"Why don't you head upstairs? We can stay here for tonight, take everything back to my house in the morning, Aries has enough food to last until then, and we'll see what information we get from there."
She nodded again, kissing both of them of the cheek before leaving the room, and as soon as Gibbs heard her door close, he met Ducky's eyes seriously.
"Bets on whether her sister is even in the hospital?"
"Jethro, you don't seriously think her mother would lie just to upset Jennifer, do you?"
"About the overdose? No. About the seriousness of it? Without a doubt. From what Jenny's told me sparingly over the years and what I just saw, yeah. I think she would."
"I always did wonder about those scars on her arms."
Gibbs nodded.
"Used to think maybe she'd done it herself when she was younger. You know, given her history."
Ducky smiled sadly.
"Self-harm would certainly fit Jennifer after all she's endured, but I suppose it's a relief to know she never engaged in it. Though I must say, the reality is much more horrific."
A soft vibration reached Gibbs' highly trained ears, and he frowned as he realised Jenny had left her phone sitting on the desk. Picking it up curiously, he smiled slightly at the brief text message from Beth, and a sudden idea occurred to him as he unlocked the device. Ducky frowned as he scrolled through her contacts, and as he held it up to his ear, he purposefully ignored the older man's gaze.
"Hello? Jenny, I—"
"Heather, Jethro Gibbs. Thanks for answering the phone, you just proved a point."
"I...what? I'm confused. Is Jenny okay? Why do you have her phone?"
"Jenny's fine. She's sleeping. A surprise visit from your mother tends to upset her pretty bad."
He could almost see the look of confusion on Heather's face, and it was clear as a bell in her tone.
"Our mother? What are you talking about? Our mother lives in Illinois."
"Yeah, I'm aware. She came out here to tell Jenny that you'd overdosed and were on your deathbed. Laid into her pretty hard."
"She did...wait, what? Yeah, I OD'ed awhile back after Jenny told me to leave, but...I'm in rehab now. Right this second. I...I don't want her to hate me for the rest of our lives. I want to get to know my sister, like we did as kids. What the hell did our mother say to her?"
"Not important. Just thought you'd want to know that you're dying in a hospital right now."
Heather laughed, somewhat bitterly, and Gibbs smiled. She had a nice laugh, and it was good to hear it.
"Thanks for letting me know. I have to go, though. Phone calls are only allowed to be fifteen minutes. Tell Jenny that I love her, and that I'm not dying."
"I'll pass it along. Say hi to Elvis for me," Gibbs quipped sarcastically.
"Will do."
Looking at Ducky with a slightly smug expression on his face, Gibbs placed the phone back where it was, and nodded in his direction.
"Pay up."
"I don't believe I ever accepted the bet, Jethro."
Gibbs smirked, laying his hand on the older man's shoulder as he passed by.
"Fair enough, but I'll collect regardless. Have a good night, Duck."
Ducky's quiet laughter followed him all the way up the stairs.
Jenny hardly moved when Gibbs sat down on the edge of the bed, too exhausted to do more than open her eyes halfway. He smiled at her as he combed his fingers through her hair, twisted a few strands idly around as he went.
"You okay?"
"Mhmm," she murmured softly, moving closer to his warmth.
"Got some good news for you. Heather's fine. She's in rehab, seems to be doing a lot better than the last time I heard from her."
Jenny frowned, his words not making sense to her tired mind, and when she sat up slowly, she stared at him as though he'd spoken a language she'd never heard before.
"W-wha—How? Morgan said—"
"She lied, Jenny. I spoke to your sister myself. She said to tell you that she loves you, she doesn't want you to hate her for the rest of time, and that she's not dying. Sounded really good, honestly. I think I could like this Heather."
Jenny nodded slowly.
"You would. She's a good person when she's not using. Like night and day."
His words finally clicked in her mind, and she shook her head suddenly, her eyes hard.
"Wait. Morgan lied to me, made me think my sister was dying, told me that my son's death was a good thing...and I'm the one who's got issues? What the actual fuck?"
Gibbs nodded, looking at her seriously.
"I know. Speaking of issues, Jen...where's your medication?"
She gestured broadly in the general direction of the window, and he realised that she was referring to the bag sitting on the ground. He moved to pick it up, pulling out the bottles carefully, and when he handed her the pills, she eyed him skeptically.
"Is this really necessary?"
"Yes. You have to start taking this seriously, Jen. I know it's not easy, but the medication will help."
Sighing heavily, she took it from him, swallowing them with a grimace, and when he gave her a gentle kiss, she smiled.
"Happy now?"
"With you, I'm always happy."
She laughed quietly.
"God, that was lame."
He kissed her again, wrapping his arm around her waist, and as he pulled her closer, he found himself hesitating. It was the first time he'd even considered touching her since Matthew's death, and he didn't want to risk upsetting her unintentionally. He pulled back to meet her eyes, searching for any sign that she wanted him to stop, and when she ran her fingertips over his skin, it was with a smile.
"It's okay, Jethro. I'm not going to break."
Gibbs watched her for a moment longer before kissing her again, and when his tongue swept into her mouth, she gasped, reaching out to pull him closer. Her head fell back as he moved his mouth to her throat, and she moaned, her eyes closing of their own accord. Pushing her back onto the bed, Gibbs ran his hand through her hair while his other slid beneath her shirt, her skin trembling under his touch. Her hands moved under his shirt, pulling it over his head, and when she tossed it to the floor, he laughed quietly.
"What did that shirt ever do to you?"
Her fingers trailed over his chest, raising up to kiss his throat, her lips close to his ear.
"It kept me from touching you."
He smiled, reaching down to undo the button on her jeans, and as he slid them down her legs, Gibbs kissed the inside of her thighs, fighting the urge to smirk when he heard her breath catch. Her underwear and bra were next, joining his shirt on the floor, and when she shoved his jeans down with her feet, he laughed.
"Patience is a virtue."
She shook her head, running her hand down his body, stopping when she wrapped her fingers around him, smirking when he trembled above her.
"Seems like your body doesn't agree," she said quietly, running her tongue along the base of his throat.
He couldn't argue her point, and as he kissed his way down her body, doing everything he could to ignore the way his body was responding to her touch. He ran his tongue over her skin lightly, waiting until he was certain he could breathe properly before slipping his fingers into her, loving the low moan that fell from her lips. Moving them slowly, he made his way back up her body, his mouth finding hers in a deep kiss, biting down on her bottom lip.
His fingers twisted, hitting her deeper, and her grip on the bed sheets tightened, her eyes tightly closed.
"God, Jethro..."
Her eyes locked onto his, threading her fingers into his hair, and he kissed her again, still moving his fingers in that maddening rhythm. He felt her shaking beneath him, positioning himself at her entrance, and when he finally slid into her, she moved her right hand to his shoulder, pulling herself up to kiss his throat. She bit down on his skin, causing him to moan her name, and as her hips met his, he struggled to remember how to breathe.
"Jen...God, I love you."
"Jethro, please...don't stop."
His lips closed around her breast, holding her as close to him as he possibly could, and as his teeth lightly grazed her nipple, she gasped.
"Fuck...oh, fuck..."
Gibbs knew, even as he kissed her again, that she was holding back, wanting to prolong the moment as much as she could, and he moved his right hand between them, circling her clit slowly at first, then steadily increasing his speed. It had the desired effect, causing her body to jerk beneath him, and he dipped his tongue into the hollow of her collarbone, running it up her throat and along the shell of her ear.
"Jen...Jen, come for me," he whispered.
She moaned, her grip on his shoulder so tight that her nails dug into his skin, but it was a delicious pain, fueling him further. Shattering in his arms moments later, Jenny's head fell forward, resting in the bend of his shoulder, her breath coming in short intervals. He felt his own release like a freight train, and when he was finally able to see again, he looked down at her, running his fingers through her slightly damp hair.
Jenny met his eyes, raising a shaking hand to touch his face gently, and he turned his head to kiss her palm.
"Do you know how much you mean to me?" she whispered, "It would kill me to lose you."
He kissed her forehead, letting his lips linger on her skin, and when he looked into her eyes again, he was surprised to find there were tears barely contained in the bright green irises.
"What's wrong?"
She didn't answer, merely shaking her head in response, and he frowned as he moved to the side of the bed, too concerned to even touch her. She was still shaking as she moved from the bed, searching for the silk robe she always kept hanging on the door, and as she tied it around her body, he found his confusion only growing stronger. He reached for his clothing, pulling on his boxers and shirt, waiting for her speak.
"Jen?"
Even poised by the door, her hand on the frame, Gibbs could detect the violent trembling of her body, and when she suddenly hit the ground, he didn't even think. He bolted from the bed, kneeling next to her as she sobbed, unsure if he should touch her. She screamed, making him jump slightly, but he didn't even think she noticed as she slammed her hand down on the hardwood floor.
"Jenny, what is it?"
"That fucking bitch," she spat angrily, "What the fuck is she playing at? She doesn't show her face for almost twenty god damned years, and now she suddenly shows up to tell me that I'm a worthless excuse for a daughter?! What's her fucking problem? I already know that, I don't need a reminder."
"Jennifer Morgan Shepard...you listen to me, and you listen damn good. You're not worthless, and have never been for one single day of your life. She's the one that isn't good enough for you, or Heather, and you deserve so much better than that. She's not even a mother. She tried to fucking kill you, Jen. What kind of parent does that to their child?"
Jenny shook her head, hair sticking to her tear-stained cheek, and he frowned.
"Still, what if she's right? What if I'm too much for anyone to handle?"
He looked at her seriously, reaching out to pull her into his arms. He hadn't even realised she'd heard Morgan Shepard's parting words, and he kissed the top of her hair gently.
"Not a chance in hell, Jen. You're taking your medication now, you're a badass at work, you've survived more pain and torment than anyone ever should have...if she can't see how amazing you are, then that's on her."
"You're going to leave," she whispered, "It's your turn now."
He frowned.
"What do you mean?"
"I left you in Paris. Now it's your turn to leave me and not look back. We'll be even then."
Shaking his head, Gibbs held her tighter, more than a little heartbroken at her thought process.
"No, Jen..." he whispered, kissing her hair again, "That's not how this works. We're not keeping score. Do you know how much it would destroy me to lose you? When Tony answered your phone in California, my heart stopped for a good minute. After the accident, after Carrington...I can't live without you. You...you're the most important person in the world to me."
"Jethro, I—"
"Shh...it's okay that you're upset. Anyone would be. But please believe me when I tell you that I'm not going anywhere. Not unless you want me to."
Jenny was silent for a long moment, and when she finally raised her eyes to his, he could see that she was still struggling to believe him.
"You really mean that?"
"I've never meant anything more in my life," he told her seriously.
He stood up, holding out his hand, and when she took it, he pulled her to her feet, immediately sweeping her into his arms. She gave him a weak smile as he laid her carefully on the mattress, and as he held her against his chest, he could still feel her slightly trembling.
"I love you so much," he said quietly.
"And yet I'm the crazy one..." Jenny muttered.
"I'd say we're pretty evenly matched on that."
She rolled her eyes and laughed, though it had a slightly bitter undertone.
"You're not the one that has to take medication," she said, her voice soft as he turned off the light, "I really am crazy."
Gibbs shook his head again, running his hand lightly over her arm.
"Nah. Just a little touched in the head."
"I love you, Jethro."
"I love you too, Jen. And don't you ever forget it."
The last thing Jenny's exhausted mind remembered of that night was the feeling of Gibbs' lips on her cheek in a gentle kiss.
Burying her head in the pillow, Jenny groaned at the bright light streaming through her window, and when she realised that Gibbs had already left the bed, she frowned. She supposed it shouldn't have struck her as odd, they were both known for their lack of a sleep schedule, and as she made her way quietly down the steps, she ran her hand through her tangled red hair. She found the subject of her search browsing through the books in her study, and he gave her a warm smile when he noticed her in the doorway.
"Morning."
"Morning. How long have you been awake?"
"Not long. Half an hour, I would guess. How did you sleep?"
Jenny shrugged, glancing at the blinking light on her phone, and Gibbs nodded at it slowly.
"You have a text from Beth."
"Going through my phone now, Agent Gibbs?"
She picked it up, sitting down behind the desk, and when he walked around her chair to thread his fingers into her hair, she smiled.
"Bribery only goes so far, you know."
"For your information, Director Shepard, I saw it when I called your sister."
Jenny laughed, causing him to smile, and as she opened the text, she gave him a smile of her own.
"Wants me to call her."
He nodded, still gently massaging her scalp, and as she held the phone to her ear, she leaned back in the chair.
"Hello?"
"Beth, it's Jenny. Sorry I missed your text last night. Is everything okay? How's McGee?"
Beth sighed, and Jenny immediately tensed, her body going rigid even under Gibbs' ministrations. He frowned but said nothing, steadily increasing the pressure of his fingers.
"Tim's a wreck, Jenny. That's why I wanted to talk to you. There's something I need to tell him, and I don't want him to panic."
"Is he still obsessing over that little girl?"
"Yes. He has nightmares every night, if he manages to sleep at all, he's not eating...Jenny, I'm scared."
Jenny silently placed her call on speaker, indicating for Gibbs to pay attention, and he nodded once when she glanced at him.
"Has he been to see a psychiatrist? Company policy states that it's required for any agents involved in a shooting."
"No. I keep telling him to go, but he won't listen. He says he's fine, but he's falling apart. What should I do?"
"Beth," Jenny began gently, "You're doing everything right. Keep supporting him, try to see if he'll talk to you, and even if he isn't ready, let him know that you'll be there when he is."
"Thanks, Jenny. But I didn't call you for reassurances on that. I—"
She paused, and Jenny leaned back in the chair again, closing her eyes as Gibbs massaged her head once more.
"Jenny, I'm pregnant."
The redhead jumped so suddenly that her knee hit the underside of her desk, causing her eyes to water, and Gibbs looked at her in concern. She shook her head, silently telling him that it wasn't important, and turned her attention back to her phone call.
"Are you excited about it?"
"Of course I am, but...I don't know if Tim is ready. He's not in a very good place right now, and I just—"
"Tell him," Jenny interrupted softly, "McGee is stronger than even he knows. He might freak out a bit at first, but he'll come around."
Beth breathed a sigh of relief, and Jenny smiled at the sound.
"Yeah? Thanks so much, Jenny. You always know what to do. I'll let you know how it goes. Say hi to Jethro for me."
"I will. And congratulations."
They ended the conversation after a few more pleasantries were exchanged, and as soon as the call disconnected, Jenny placed her hand on her knee, shaking her head furiously.
"Son of a bitch..."
Gibbs smirked, shaking his head once and as he knelt in front of her chair, Jenny frowned at the amusement in his eyes.
"If you even think about laughing, I will personally cut out your tongue and shove it down your throat."
He leaned over her, his lips inches from her own, and when he kissed her, he made sure to use his tongue as much as he possibly could, proud of the moan that fell from her throat as he did so.
"You sure about that, Jen?" he whispered, "I'm pretty talented, if I do say so myself."
She pulled him down to her, kissing him hard, and when she stared into his cobalt blue eyes, there was no mistaking the look of desire in her own emerald green.
"Why don't you prove it then, Agent Gibbs? Show me just how talented you really are."
If anyone had asked, Gibbs thought he did a damn fine job.
A/N: Poor Jenny, Heather, Beth, McGee...basically everyone except Morgan Shepard. Screw that woman.