13. "I didn't feel anything when I kissed you."
Pre-canon. Alternate end to 7x13. A fight and an elevator.
"That's right, I didn't feel anything when I kissed you Harvey. Whatever I thought might be there, wasn't."
Lie.
She can't help herself. Part of her wanted to scream and tell him that she knows he must have felt it too, but the other part of her feels a need to protect him. She hates that. The need she feels to protect him, no matter the cost.
"So you can relax if that's what you're worried about."
"That's not what I'm worried about. You messed with my relationship, and now I've got to keep a secret from Paula."
"No you don't," she shakes her head and scoffs. She bites down on her inner cheek to help keep her composure. She's mad. At him for making such a fuss about one stupid kiss. At herself for telling him she didn't feel anything, when in fact, she felt everything.
"If it didn't affect you just go ahead and tell her. You didn't do anything."
She watches as he cocks his head, crinkles his eyebrows slightly and finally looks her in the eye.
Harvey always bragged about being an amazing poker player, but right now, the way she can so easily read him, she doubts his ability to bluff at all. She decided to call his prior bluff. Maybe she could take back her own and they could salvage this conversation.
"It did effect you, didn't it?"
"I'm human Donna. What do you think it did to me?"
"That's not the same as feeling something."
Did he? Feel something? His mouth was saying one thing but his eyes were saying another.
He next bit of their conversation doesn't register in her mind. She's angry, with him, herself. With Paula. She's angry that she allowed herself to be hopeful for a sliver of a second. That she was played by the look in his eye and the illusion that she knew him better than anyone.
He didn't feel the same way she did. He hadn't gone home and spent hours thinking about how that kiss could be felt in his toes. And he certainly hadn't picked up the phone and contemplated calling her several times to ask what it all meant. But she did.
"As far as I'm concerned, your judgement sucks," his words draw her back to the conversation.
"My judgement sucks?" she calls after him as he begins to walk away. "My judgement sucks?! You know what Harvey, screw you! If anyone's judgement sucks it's yours."
"What are you implying?" he asks slowly, rooting himself in his track.
"You're the one who is too stubborn to open your eyes and see what's literally standing right in front of you. And don't tell me that I'm reading into things because for someone who claims to be amazing at poker your poker face sucks!"
She turns quickly on her heel and heads to the elevators where she repeatedly stabs to "up" button until the door on the far end of the hall dings.
He stares at her, a dumb-struck expression on his face, his jaw slightly open.
"Why?" he practically whispers as she impatiently waits for the door to open.
"Why what?" she snaps.
"Why did you have to kiss me?"
The elevator arrives and Donna steps on, not waiting for Harvey to follow. Without thinking she whirls around to face him and sighs before practically yelling, "because I love you, you idiot."
His jaw falls open but he reacts quick enough to step inside the elevator before the doors close and begin climbing to the 50th floor.