Chapter 12: The rumors flew

This chapter was inspired by the song Whiskey Lullaby by Brad Paisley and Alison Krauss.

Rayna's phone rang. It was Maddie.

"Hey, Sweetie, I'm so happy you're cal…," Rayna said but was interrupted by Maddie.

"I thought Deacon meant something to you!" she cried angrily.

"Well, of course he did and he still does! What are you talking about?"

"What I'm talking about? Do you think I'm fucking stupid? It's all over the fucking Internet!"

"Maddie! Watch your language!"

"I will, as soon as you'll stop making a fool out of yourself…and Deacon!"

"I really don't know what..."

"Really? You can't be serious. When were you gonna tell us about you and Liam McGuiness? How long has this been going on already?"

"Maddie, he's just a good friend. I didn't tell you that I'm seeing him because I didn't want to upset you, now I know that was a mistake, I'm sorry!"

"He's just a friend? But you're seeing him? Are you even listening to yourself? That makes no sense!"

"I'm seeing him as a friend, Maddie!"

"Yeah sure, as a friend, on the pictures I saw of you and him holding hands, giggling or whispering into each other's ears, you don't look like friends to me!"

"Maddie please, you know how the Paparazzi always wait for those moments and take them completely out of the context. He's a really good friend, who has helped me a lot in the last couple of weeks, that's all!"

"Oh yeah? And why didn't you just tell us then?"

"Maddie, I…"

"No, please, you don't even need to answer! I know the reason! He's more than a friend, and you were trying to hide that from us and do you know what? That makes it even worse! It's really disgusting to replace the so-called love of your life with some random toy boy just a couple of months after his death, but it's even more disgusting to keep pretending to be the mourning girlfriend!"

"I can't believe you just said that to me!" Rayna started crying. "I'll never be over, Deacon, ok? Never! And Liam and I are not dating! And even if, someday, I started dating somebody, I'll never ever forget or get over Deacon. He'll always be my one true love."

"You're a liar! And just because you keep repeating your lies, they don't become true! You killed Deacon with your lies! It's all your fault and you're not even sorry! I hate you!" Maddie hung up.

Rayna put down the phone and buried her face in her hands, crying heavily. "Maddie's right," she thought, "it's all my fault. I destroyed Deacon with my lies. I made him drink and now he's gone. I miss him so much. I'll never love any other man as much as I loved Deacon. But does that mean that I shouldn't let any other man get close to me? I really like Liam. He's so sweet and so uncomplicated. It's been six months now since Deacon's death. I just don't want to be alone anymore. It's not like we're dating…I just…I just need somebody to spend time with or I'll go crazy. Maybe I can make it work with Liam one day. But then again, I don't deserve to be happy ever again. It's all my fault. I really need a glass of whiskey right now."

She poured herself a glass, sat down on the couch and dialed Liam's number.

"Rayna, hi, are you ok?"

"No, I'm not, Maddie found out that we're seeing each other. It's all over the Internet."

"What? These damned paparazzi! How did she react?"

"She's so angry and she probably hates me even more now."

"Rayna, she doesn't hate you, she's just hurt."

"I just want our relationship to improve again, but it seems to get worse and worse."

"It's gonna get better, you'll see. Give her some time and in a couple of days, you'll explain it to her."

"But that's what I've already tried to do, she doesn't understand!"

"I know, Honey, but right now, she's probably so upset that she didn't even listen properly."

"I'm so afraid to lose her. I think this was a mistake."

"What was a mistake?"

"That thing that has been going on between us. It's not right!"

"Why? What are you talking about?"

"I feel like I'm cheating on Deacon."

"Rayna, he's been gone for nearly half a year now and we're just hanging out, it's not like we've moved in together or anything. I'm just trying to be there for you. Why would that be a bad thing?"

"I don't deserve you. I don't deserve anything good." She was sobbing heavily.

"Shhhh Sweetie, what are you talking about? Don't put yourself down like that. That's simply not true."

"Yes, it is, everybody hates me and I deserve it."

"Listen, Rayna, I'm coming over, ok?"

"I don't think you should…."

"Shhh don't worry, I'll be there in 20."

18 minutes later, Liam rang Rayna's doorbell. Rayna got up from the couch, wiped away her tears with the sleeve of her navy blue sweater, and walked towards the door. She took a deep breath and opened it.

"Hey" Liam said with a faint smile.

"Hey" Rayna whispered and started crying.

Liam came in and closed the door. He hugged Rayna and caressed her hair. She had to admit to herself that she was glad that he was there with her. He always found a way to make her feel a little better. But as soon as that thought had entered her mind, as always, another thought followed immediately: "You're cheating on Deacon".