Texting.
However impossible it sounded, it had never been Regina's favorite way of communication.
Quite the contrary, before 'it' happened, Regina had detested texting with all her being. Had found it both impersonal and ridiculous. Texting was something that young people did. Not her. If she had something to say, she preferred calling.
Not she had plenty of things to say, but no voice to speak with.
So thank god for texting!
It had become a very solid part of Regina's routine now. She texted people, and they texted her. Because neither she nor they had any choice. But Regina found that texting could be quite giving, really. In fact it was an excellent way to stay in touch with people.
A new friend, for instance. She and Emma Swan had been texting one another quite a lot since they agreed to have coffee on Sunday. And Regina found that she enjoyed texting her new friend. It was fun to receive updates of Emma's life and new job at Dragon Publishing. Emma was obviously very excited about that, and Regina feared that her own texts which mostly were about what she'd had for dinner and Henry, couldn't quite measure up to it. She was afraid that it was boring. But Emma Swan seemed to be genuinely interested in her life, however quiet it was.
Not that Regina minded. Goodness, no. A quiet life was exactly what she wanted.
But not too quiet for a new friend. She had not anticipated to ever gain one again (making friends when you couldn't speak was difficult, and even more so when you were afraid of everything), but she was very happy that she had bumped into Emma on the train. And she was looking forward to having coffee with her again. She just hoped that the feeling would stick. The feeling of being completely, utterly normal. The post-it notes had not had a say in the matter, Regina had still felt like a completely ordinary woman who was having coffee with a friend. There had even been a point where she had forgotten that she not actually answering Emma with her voice. That was how normal it had felt. And it had been nice, being back in Steveston too. Henry had gotten very jealous when she told him where she had been, and he had begged her to bring him to Steveston again soon.
Regina had a feeling that she might just do that. It had been ages since he last was in Steveston, and he had always enjoyed being there. And so had she. Like with the morning yoga, there was no reason why she should not reinforce this habit of theirs. They could do that now that it was just the two of them. They could do whatever they darn well wanted to do. There was no one to tell them that they could not.
Regina knew that her 'freedom' had come at a cost, but that should not stop her from at least TRYING to enjoy it. She had deserved that. She had deserved nice things once in a while.
Regina blinked and quickly re-focused on the book in her lap. She had been getting quite lost in her own head. And that tended to be a dangerous thing for her to do. If she thought too much, she so quickly came up with reasons to be upset. And upset was not something she wanted to be right now. She just wanted to read her book. She was currently halfway through Louisa May Alcott's 'Little Women', which might be a tad pathetic, but it was a great comfort read once in a while, and she had needed a break from Jane Eyre which was pretty heavy stuff. That was another of her therapist's advices. Never read too bleak books. Apparently, it was not good for her, and Regina chose to follow her therapist's advice and read something that was a little lighter once in a while. When she was done with Little Women, she would continue onwards to Peter Pan. Henry had plans of reading it too, so perhaps they could buddy-read it. That could be nice. It had been quite a while since she last had the time to sit down and simply read. And watch television. God, did she ever have time to watch television! Nothing too heavy, of course. Another advice from her all-knowing therapist. Steer clear of violent movies.
Well. She did not need a therapist to tell her that. Regina was more than willing to avoid seeing any type of violence unfolding on the television screen.
So instead she and Henry had watched an incredible amount of Disney movies together (surely, Mufasa's death in the Lion King did not count as a violent movie, did it), tonight they had finished 101 Dalmatians, and tomorrow night they would start Beauty and the Beast. Or perhaps they would start from the beginning with Snow White and then work their way through the movies. As long as they skipped The Hunchback of Notre Dame. There was... certain aspects of that movie Regina wasn't sure she could handle. Or perhaps she would, but she was scared that she would be triggered and get flashbacks right in the middle of the movie. She did not want that. She did not want to scare her son like that. He had already been plenty scared and seen HER be scared more than a few times. He was just a little boy. And their Disney-movie-marathon was supposed to remind him of that. Not become a bad experience for both of them.
So they would skip The Hunchback of Notre Dame and go straight to Hercules. That was one of Henry's favorite Disney movies, so he probably would not mind skipping The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
Regina turned another page in Little Women. She kept zoning out when she was supposed to read. Shame on her for not paying attention to Jo March when she was talking.
Suddenly, her cellphone vibrated against the table, and Regina swiftly abandoned 'Little Women' in favor of seeing who had texted her. Surely, it wasn't Zelena already. She had been staying at Chad's place since dinner, and Regina doubted that she was heading home already. It wasn't that late yet. Only nine o'clock.
It wasn't Zelena. It was Emma Swan. Oh. Regina smiled as she read the text which simply said 'hi'. She was quick to text back a: 'hello'.
It did not take long before Emma Swan texted her back. 'I hope I'm not texting you too late.'
Late? No, this was not late. Perhaps Regina was sort of fragile, but not so fragile she had to go to bed at nine o'clock. Her fingers tapped against the screen as she texted back: 'no, not at all. I've never been one for going to bed early.' It wasn't a complete lie. Regina had always been a night owl before. And she hoped she could become that again. She had always appreciated staying up late and reading.
Her cellphone vibrated against her palm, and Regina checked the message: 'me neither. Have you been busy today?'
Regina quelled a little sigh as she thought about her online-house-hunting-adventure earlier. The adventure which Zelena didn't really like hearing about. Her mouth had twisted, and her eyes had flickered when she spotted Regina look for apartments online. She didn't like the idea of Regina moving away, and Regina understood why. She perfectly understood why Zelena would want to be near her, but... she had to move on, had she not? She had to get back on her feet at her own place. Try and create a new life for herself and Henry. Start over. She tapped her fingers against the screen once more as she texted a reply to Emma: 'a bit, yes. Henry and I are currently house hunting, and that sort of thing tends to take a while.'
Again, the reply came super-fast. Emma Swan clearly had nothing else to do than texting her. But that suited Regina just fine. She had been getting a little bored with Little Women. And perhaps a bit lonely too. Interaction with the outside world was good for her. She read the message. 'yeah, I'm kinda dreading to start my own house hunt, but I know I have to eventually. Eugenia's Inn is great, but I can't keep living at a hotel for the rest of my life.'
That made sense. 'do you have any idea what kind of place you're looking for then?'
'Honestly, anything cheap would do. I don't care whether it's just a room or an apartment, as long as it's a place I can call my own.'
Oh, how Regina understood that. She was super scared of moving out of her sister's house, but she also felt like she HAD to start looking for places to live. Had to start trying to move forward with her 'new' life. 'I know what you mean. My sister is a wonderful person, and I'm so grateful that she let Henry and I live in her house, but... I'm going stir crazy here. To put it plainly, the place is simply too small for three people. We have to find our own place.' She sent the text and while waiting for a reply, she thought to herself that she sounded much more sure and confident in text. In reality, the idea of moving out to live on her own with Henry, spooked her more than she could ever describe. But she had to be brave. Had to get out of her sister's house sooner or later. And perhaps the sooner the better. If she did not do it soon, she would never be able to pluck of the courage. She couldn't keep hide herself away in Zelena's house. She had to show Henry that she could create a life for the two of them. Just them. Like it used to be before everything went to shit.
Her phone vibrated against her upper thigh and interrupted her train of thoughts. And just as well. They were turning quite bleak again. She picked up her phone and checked the message. 'Sure sounds like it. Any idea what you and the kid might be looking for?'
The kid. Regina smiled. She liked the way that Emma included Henry in the question. That was very thoughtful of her. She almost felt a bit eager to answer. And in the mood to deliver a fun little anecdote too: 'I'm not quite sure yet. I can't decide whether it should be an apartment or a house. And Henry isn't very helpful either. He wants to either live on a farm with lots of animals, or in a castle. I've told him that there aren't that many castles here, but he doesn't seem to listen to me.' Henry and his castles. Perhaps they had watched TOO much Disney. Henry wanted both a tower room and a library. Not exactly options that were within reach. And she wasn't much of a farm-woman either. Apart from some horseback riding when she was quite young, Regina wasn't very used to tending to animals.
Her cellphone scratched against her thigh again, and Regina was quick to check the message: 'A castle, huh? Wow. That's a pretty tough demand to meet.'
Regina's chest made that odd rumbling sound she still was not used to yet. Honestly, she did find her 'new' laughter jarring. But she supposed she had to get used to it sooner or later. She could not express her amusement in any other way. She tapped in a reply to Emma: 'yes, tell me about it. I have no idea where he gets his refined taste from. Certainly not from me.' That was certainly a lie. Regina knew that she had a refined taste. She liked pretty things. She liked to dress well and look her best. Had learned from Cora that she should always strive to look her best no mater what. Regina became a bit thoughtful and was glad when she received another text she could read.
'Well, if you're not gonna stay in a castle, where are you gonna live then?'
'I'm not quite sure yet, but not too far away from my sister. She would kill me if I left Vancouver again.' That was definitely true. Zelena wouldn't like that one bit. And Regina could not imagine to move away from Vancouver. No, she wanted to stay in this area. Stay close to her sister.
'Yeah, you did mention that you're originally from Montreal, but you don't have any plans of going back there?'
Oh god no. Absolutely not. Not in a million years. No. She could not ever go back to Montreal. Not even to visit. It would just be too hard. Too many memories. Too many flashbacks. Too much... everything. She had to swallow something. Remind herself that she was far away from Montreal. She was... she was safe. And she had not texted Emma back yet. Time to rectify that: 'god no. Montreal is a finished chapter.' She hoped that she did not come across as too dismissive. Because she wasn't. At least not like that.
Unlike her, Emma was quick to answer, and Regina was only happy to have a new text to read instead of thinking too much.
'Cool! It would be a bit difficult to have coffee with you if you lived in Montreal. Possible, but difficult.'
The corners of Regina's mouth twitched. Was Emma Swan being funny via text? It sure felt like it. Suddenly, Regina wanted to be 'funny' too. How odd. She typed back a response: 'well, it's just a forty five hour long drive, miss Swan. Not a big deal at all.'
'Maybe not for your Mercedes, but what about my bug? I'm sort of afraid it would break down halfway there.'
Had Regina been able to, she most certainly would have laughed. Now she had to settle for letting out that strange rumbling sound. It really was an odd sound. She missed her old laughter. She dreaded showing amusement in front of anyone. Even Henry. Because it was such a change from her old laughter. She looked down at her phone and was in the middle of typing a reply when she heard scuffling from upstairs. Regina frowned. Was Henry out of bed? He should not be. It was after nine. It was past his bedtime. She hastily concluded her message ('Ah. You may have a point there. Do excuse me, I think my son is out of bed, and I better go and find out why.'), and then quickly put the book down and rose from the couch to go upstairs. She forced down her discomfort over the staircase. She had to. Henry was the most important thing. Not her discomfort.
She found Henry standing in the middle of his bedroom, hair ruffled and lips quivering slightly. Regina immediately felt a pang of concern as she put her hands on his shoulders, silently asking what was going on.
He answered by wrapping his arms around his midriff and burrowing into her whilst muttering: "I had a nightmare, mom."
Oh. Oh, no. Regina wrapped her arms around her boy and dropped a kiss on his hair. She held him close for a moment and then started to rub his back in slow, soothing motions. Her heart was breaking because she could not offer him any words of consolation. Could not assure him that everything would be okay.
Curse this damned situation.
Curse her inability to do anything except for holding him.
She needed her voice for this.
She needed her voice to comfort her son.
"It was really bad," Henry croaked. "You were back in the hospital, and..." his voice broke, and Regina dropped another kiss on his hair. Then gently grasped him chin to make him look up at her. The look in his eyes broke her heart too. He looked so upset and scared.
Curse Killian Jones for making her little prince going through this.
Even though Henry did not know the real reason behind her stay in the hospital.
Curse Killian Jones anyway. This was his fault. It was his fault she had ended up in the hospital. It was his fault that Henry had terrible dreams now.
She kissed her son's cheek. Then tapped his chest twice. 'I will never go away again'.
"I know," Henry mumbled. "It was just a stupid nightmare anyway.."
But Regina shook her head. No, no. In no way was it just a 'stupid nightmare'. Henry's fear was valid, and he should not attempt to cover it up. He did not need to pretend with her. He did not have to pull off some 'big boy act' just to make her feel more comfortable. Because that was what this was about. Regina knew that. He never wanted to make her worried.
But she was his mother.
It was her job to be worried about him.
She hugged him again. Tighter this time. Held him close and cupped the back of his head exactly like she had done when he was a very small boy.
He was still small.
Too small to have endured this kind of horror.
Too small to be afraid of loosing his mother.
She gave him another big squeeze. One that had him giggling slightly and murmuring: "mooo-oooom!'
Regina squeezed him again, eager to make him laugh once more, and he did just that. Then he hugged her back, saying: "thanks, mom."
He should not be thanking her. He should not be grateful for her consoling him.
This was her job. She was his mother.
"I think I'll try and go back to bed," Henry said quietly, lifting his head again.
Regina nodded. Released him to sign: 'do you need anything?'
"No, I'm okay," Henry said as he went back to bed and climbed under the covers. "Can I read a comic book for a while?"
Regina nodded eagerly and sat down by his bedside. He found the comic book ('Wolverine') and Regina listened patiently while he told her everything there was to know about Wolverine. She had heard all of it before, but that didn't matter. She was more than willing to hear it explained a thousand times over again.
She could not sing or say anything to soothe him, but she could BE here. By his side. When he needed her. By all the gods, she could do that. She could full fill the most important thing about being a mother. Being here. Sit by his bedside and listen while he explained everything about Wolverine.
These were the moments she lived for.
This was what made it all worthwhile.
Should she ever find herself in doubt of whether she should stay or go again, she would simply look back at this moment and remember what the most important thing in the world was.
After a few more moments, he looked up at her and said: "I think I'm okay now, mom."
Regina nodded. Recognized the signal for 'I want to read by myself now'. She held up five fingers to signalize that he could read for five more minutes.
And of course her clever boy recognized the signal. "Five minutes. Okay. Thanks, mom."
Regina kissed his forehead and then left his bedroom. Left him to his reading.
He'd had some hard nights where he had woken up after having had a nightmare. He also had trouble with falling asleep some nights. Regina hoped that would soon change. She hoped that Henry soon would become a happy little boy again. Once he understood that she would never disappear from him again.
She was okay. Ish. He did not need to worry about her.
Once certain that he really was comfortable reading, Regina carefully dropped a kiss on his forehead and then quietly rose from the bed. Henry briefly looked up from his comic book and smiled. He seemed to be fairing a little better now.
Regina walked back down the hallway towards the staircase, but when she took the first step down the stairs, her stomach coiled, and she had to take a deep breath.
She was fine.
She was safe.
This was not the staircase back in Montreal.
And she was not being chased.
Nobody was after her.
Killian was in jail. He would never be able to get to her again.
Except for in her dreams.
No.
Not now. She did not want to think about the nightmares she had when she was by herself. It was not good for her.
She straightened her posture and then continued her walk downstairs. This was just a staircase, for goodness sake! It was nothing to be afraid of.
Nothing whatsoever. Her fear of staircases was completely irrational.
Back downstairs, she settled back in the couch and checked her phone. Emma had sent her a text. 'No problem', and Regina quickly conducted another message.
'Sorry about that.'
The response came swiftly. 'No problem. Everything alright with the kid?'
How sweet of her to ask, Regina thought. Thoughtful. Did Emma Swan perhaps kids in her life in some kind of way? She hadn't mentioned it. But for whatever reason, Regina couldn't help but think that Emma would click very well with Henry if they ever were to meet each other once again. Henry loved fairy tales. Emma wrote fairy tales. That alone was a foundation for conversation. Oh well. Regina was supposed to text back and not sit here and ponder.
'Not completely. He had a nightmare. Actually, he's been having a few of those lately. Night terrors, the experts calls it. This is the third night in a row he's been waking up crying, poor thing, and my sister is out tonight, so I'm on my own to handle it. One of the many joys about being a single mother.' She pressed send and immediately considered whether she was oversharing. Or sounding bitter. That was not the intention. She was just telling her new friend about her frustrations. That was a normal thing to do, right?
'Oh no, poor kid! Nightmares are the worst!'
Yes. Indeed they were. Emma was absolutely right about that. She couldn't resist pouring her heart out a little bit more. 'He's back in bed now, reading a comic book until he gets tired. I hope that'll do the trick, but at the same time I have a hunch that I'll be spending the night in his room.' that was usually how Henry's night terrors ended. With her curled up in his bed next to him, and Henry practically glued to her side. Poor thing.
Her cellphone chimed. Regina wasn't quite sure what Emma would say to her openness, and she did feel slightly nervous as she opened the message.
'I'm sorry the little guy is going through a rough patch.'
Regina sighed. Yes, that was definitely to put it lightly. She had the sudden urge to rant a bit more through text, and so she did: 'he really is, and more often than not I end up feeling as frustrated as him because I do much to actually soothe him. I can't read him a story or sing to him. Not that he would appreciate if I did that, but nevertheless.' As soon as she had sent the text, she regretted it. She was ranting. She was dumping everything on her relatively new friend, and that was not fair. She quickly wrote another message: 'and I shouldn't be complaining to you. I'm sorry. Normally I'm not one for complaining, but tonight is pretty tough. But anyway, enough about that. Did you finish reading that manuscript you told me about?'
It did not take long before she received a text in return. 'Yeah, I did. And that ending damn nearly killed me! I'm supposed to give feedback to Malena on Monday. I really hope she'll at least consider to publish this book. It almost makes me cry to think that the author won't get a chance.' Bless Emma for not commenting on her swift change of subject. This felt like a more 'safe' subject. Regina replied to the text: 'Mal is usually very good at listening to her test readers, so I'm sure she'll bring the manuscript into her considerations.'
'Yeah, otherwise I'll have to ask you to ask her to publish the book.'
Regina frowned slightly at that. 'And what makes you think that she'll listen to me instead of her employees?'
'I dunno, she just speaks very highly about you.'
Exactly what had Malena said about her, Regina wondered. Malena was always one to say exactly what she thought. Which could both be a blessing and a curse. Either way, thinking about Malena made Regina feel guilty all over again. 'She does, does she? Oh well, I'm sure she'll listen to you, Emma. You're working for her. I am not.' She heard more scuffling from upstairs. It very much sounded like Henry had just gotten out of bed again. Was he getting upset again? Regina's mouth twisted. She had to take care of this. She quickly sent a text to Emma: 'And now I just heard Henry get out of bed again. I'm sorry, but I have to go and convince him to go back to bed.' she hadn't even gotten up from the couch before she received a reply from Emma.
'Hey, don't apologize, I get it. I hope the poor champ will fall asleep soon. I'll see you tomorrow.'
After having sent a reassuring 'indeed' Emma's way, Regina rose from the couch and walked back upstairs where she found her upset little boy out of bed. Visible shaken up and mumbling that he 'couldn't stop thinking about the bad thing'
Rather than trying to convince him to go back to bed, Regina took him by the hand and lead him back downstairs with him. There was only one thing that could fix this. Hot chocolate. She got Henry installed on the couch with a cozy warm blanket over his legs. And while he sat there and tried to calm down a little, she went into the kitchen and made some hot cocoa for both of them. They had deserved it.
He apologized for getting out of bed, and Regina immediately brushed him off. It was more than okay if he couldn't sleep right now. Then he offered to help with the cocoa, and she willingly let him do so...
Henry felt much better next morning. Regina had been completely prepared to cancel her appointment with Emma and spend the day with her son instead, but during breakfast, Henry's (very newly acquired) cellphone had ringed. Nick had been in the other end and had asked Henry if he wanted to come over to his place and play videogames after breakfast.
Of course Regina had nodded and allowed Henry to go. If he felt up for it, of course. And he did. The prospect of spending time with his friend had him eating his breakfast much quicker.
Nick Zimmer was a good boy. And his twin sister Ava was nice too. Nick, Henry and Ava made quite the good little three-leaf clover together. Henry and Nick hadn't been hanging out a lot in the past, but Regina had been told by Zelena that Nick one day during Regina's lengthy hospital stay had come over to Henry in the school yard and said: 'I'm really sorry about what has happened to your mom. If you ever wanna talk about it or just hang out, Ava and I are up for it.'
Henry had taken him up on the offer, and ever since, he and Nick and Ava had been good friends. Regina was happy about it. Nick and Ava were good kids, and she really appreciated how they had reached out to Henry and taken him under their wing. Friends were important. And especially friends who were as empathic and kind as Nick and Ava was.
"Can you give me a ride?" Henry asked before gobbling down the rest of his milk.
Regina nodded. Of course she could drive him over to his friends.
"Cool," Henry smiled at her and grabbed his cup and plate. He clattered about for a moment as he put his things in the dishwasher, and then he declared that he would run upstairs to get dressed.
Regina too needed to get dressed. She had already showered earlier after her yoga-session when Henry was still asleep. She put her own things away in the dishwasher and then followed her son's example and went upstairs. In the hallway, she happened upon Zelena who always liked to sleep a bit longer during the weekend.
"Oh good morning," she said sleepily and rubbed her eyes. "Henry nearly throttled me. What's the rush?"
Regina's fingers wiggled in the air as she explained the situation to her sister: 'Nick has asked him if he wanted to come over and play video games with him. I'm gonna take him there and then continue to Steveston.'
"Oh yes, you have a coffee-appointment with Emma today," Zelena recalled. "That's right. Do you feel up for that?"
Regina nodded. She did actually. She felt a little bad with having ended the conversation so abruptly last night.
"That's good," Zelena smiled. "And how's Henry this morning? Better?"
Regina nodded again. Yes, Henry seemed to be doing a lot better today. She lifted her hands again and signed: 'he said that he couldn't even remember what the nightmare had been about. But I don't know if it's true.'
"I'm sure it is, sis," Zelena soothed. "I know my nephew. He would tell you if something was wrong. I know he would."
Regina pursed her lips and hoped that her older sister was right. Then she continued down the hallway and into her own bedroom. What should she wear today? What did she feel like wearing? Her urge to put on sweatpants and an oversized hoodie seemed to gradually disappear, and Regina was happy about that. She was relieved that fondness she once had for her old clothes was coming back.
She ended up going with figure fitting, woolen black slacks.
Figure fitting. Meaning that these trousers were accentuating her body rather than hiding it. That was a huge step for her, and Regina allowed herself to be proud for a moment. Then she continued getting dressed. Black camisole. Blue blazer. And black silk scarf tied around her neck. Before 'it' happened, she had never been one for scarves, but now she was relieved that she had so many. And she had also noticed that the times Zelena had been out shopping, two or three new scarves seemed to 'appear' in her closet. Beautiful silk ones in colors Regina had none of before.
Regina so appreciated that.
Zelena's silent support meant the world.
Zelena's understanding that she was not ready to leave her throat exposed was so important to Regina.
Regina brushed a hand over the scarf around her neck. It was beautiful and soft. And it looked sort of stylish too.
No one could possibly know that she was hiding an injury under the scarf.
Emma Swan couldn't possibly know that the scarf was more than just an accessory.
And Regina intended to keep it that way.
She applied a little bit of makeup to her face just to make her look more awake, and after having brushed her dark locks, she decided that she looked alright. Her clothes were sitting nicely. She had gained some weight. And that was a good thing. She was supposed to be gaining weight.
Regina shivered slightly. She did not want to go back to being as thin as she had been when she was first brought to the hospital.
Even she could see how bad that had been.
She ran her fingers through her hair one more time. She looked nice. And the clothes she was wearing felt comfortable.
And most important, it did not make her feel panicked.
Maybe eventually, she would start feeling like this about all her clothes.
Coming downstairs and having received the 'daily compliment' from Zelena ('look at you. You look great, sis'.), Regina settled down by the kitchen table and reached within her purse to find her little stack of post-its. She wanted to be prepared today. Finding a pen, she wrote on one of the notes: 'hello again'. She could give that to Emma when they saw each other again. She felt slightly brilliant. Writing a prepared note was a good idea.
After having written that note, she put it on the table so she could stuff it down her coat pocket when she left. Then she wrote on another note. Her order. She felt clever when doing that too. Now she did not have to point. And expose herself to Eugenia Wolff's sympathetic smiles. She did not need that. She did not need anyone to pity her.
She was already pitying herself more than enough.
When her notes were prepared, Regina retreated to the living room with Little Women, the book she didn't get a chance to get very far in last night because she was texting. And because Henry was upset, poor thing.
Of course it did not take long before Zelena mysteriously 'appeared' in the living room too. She had a habit of following Regina around in the house.
Regina did not mind it at all. She merely looked up at her older sister and smiled before going back to reading.
"Did Jo March cut her hair yet?" Zelena asked lightly.
Regina looked up again and nodded in confirmation. Yes, Jo March had indeed cut her hair to everyone's dismay.
"And.. how is the reading going?" Zelena asked carefully. "I mean, you're not getting a headache from it, are you?"
Regina looked up once more and shook her head while smiling reassuringly at her sister. No, she was not getting a headache while reading anymore. At least not headaches that were because of the concussion she had suffered. That was long gone. But the 'other' headaches...
They were still happening.
The intense banging in her forehead.
She did wonder when those kind of headaches would disappear.
If ever.
Perhaps they wouldn't. Perhaps the headaches were just another thing she had to live with.
Not wanting to upset herself, Regina went back to reading Little Women. And eventually, it did make her smile. Perhaps it wasn't so bad to read 'light' fiction once in a while. Like the yoga, she would make it a new habit of hers. And a good one too. One that made her stop thinking so much...
After having dropped Henry off at Nick and Ava's and kissed him goodbye and instructed him to text her when he wanted to be picked up, Regina continued onwards to Steveston.
She was there right on time and brushed a hand lightly over her tweed coat before exiting the car. She crossed the road and walked towards Eugenia's Inn, eager to get inside.
Stepping inside the inn, she scanned the room to find Emma Swan, and it did not take long before she found what she was looking for. Emma had stuck her hand in the air, so it was actually fairly hard to miss her.
Regina smiled slightly as she walked over there. She offered Emma a little nod as an initial greeting.
"Hi," Emma said.
Regina offered another nod and a smile. And then she reached within the pocket of her tweed coat and handed Emma the 'hello again'-note.
"It's nice to see you again," Emma said, flashing Regina another friendly smile.
Regina returned is as she unbuttoned her coat and slipped it off, hanging it on the back of her chair. She discreetly adjusted the scarf around her neck and then sat down on the chair opposite Emma.
"You ready for some coffee?" Emma asked.
Regina nodded. Yes, she was indeed ready for some coffee. She hadn't had any coffee this morning because she knew she would be having coffee with Emma.
Emma waved a hand in the air again, and it did not take long before Ruby appeared at their table. Emma ordered coffee for herself, and Regina swiftly reached within her coat pocket and handed Ruby the note before she could get the chance to ask.
"Alright," Ruby smiled. "I'll find that for you." With that she clack-clack'ed away from their table again.
"That was clever," Emma complimented as soon as Ruby had disappeared.
Regina shrugged lightly, modestly and wiggled a hand inside the pocket of her coat again. This time she found her stack of post-its. And a pen. She was indeed prepared for this coffee-appointment.
"How are you doing?" Emma asked. "How is Henry doing? Did he get some sleep last night?"
Henry again. Really, it was so thoughtful of Emma Swan to ask about Henry as the first thing. Not everybody would have done that. She brought the pencil down and began scribbling an answer. A truthful one. Emma deserved a truthful answer given how she knew what had happened last night. 'Henry is doing alright now. But it took him a while to go back to sleep last night. I ended up spending the night on a makeshift bed in his room.' indeed that was what had happened after the hot cocoa. Henry had been afraid that the nightmare would come back, and Regina had of course nodded when he asked if she could stay in his room for the night.
"Oh," Emma said, grimacing slightly after having read the note. "I'm sorry to hear that. But I'm glad he's doing better now."
Regina nodded again and took the note she had just written so she could write underneath the first message: 'he is. He's staying at a friend's house right now, but I think he wanted to come along. He's been talking a lot about your fairytales since the last time.' True that. Henry had indeed been asking many questions about Emma Swan and her fairytales in the car. He already considered her to be a bit of a hero because she was writing fairytales. In Henry's book, that was enough to give someone hero status.
Emma chuckled, seemed proud as she pushed her blonde hair away from her face. "I'm glad to have found a fellow fairytale lover. Has he always loved fairytales?"
Oh yes. Regina was immediately flooded with a million flashbacks of seven year old Henry's eyes gleaming with joy when she read Snow White and The Seven Dwarves aloud to him for the first time. In the modified version, of course. He had been a bit too young to hear the Brothers Grimm version of the story. She eagerly tore off another post-it note and scribbled down a lengthy reply while Ruby arrived with their coffee. Regina was so busy writing, she didn't even have the time to look up and smile in gratitude. By the time Ruby was gone, Regina was at last done writing. 'Yes, ever since he was a little boy. His baby books were fairytales. He has a whole bookshelf filled with fairytales. Sometimes it almost saddens me that he'll grow out of it when he becomes a teenager.' Henry as a teenager. Moody and short-tempered and mumbling instead of answering. Regina dreaded thinking about it. She tried not to grimace as she pushed the note towards Emma.
Emma chuckled again after having read the note. "You don't know that for sure. He could still be into fairytales when he grows older."
Regina raised an eyebrow in polite disbelief. Then she scribbled down another long and quite honest answer. 'It's a nice thought, but I doubt it. Once he grows older, he'll stop loving fairytales and begin loving his phone instead. But admittedly, sometimes I wish he could be ten years old forever. It's such a funny age. Sometimes he acts like a little adult, but at the same time he's still child enough to want to be hugged and kissed.' Henry truly could be a little mini-adult sometimes. Which was both good and bad. She sat the pencil down, took a sip of her coffee and then pushed the note towards Emma. She carefully took another sip of her coffee while Emma read the message.
Emma chuckled softly once more, and her green eyes sparkled slightly as she asked: "And you don't think he'll want to be hugged and kissed when he becomes a teenager?"
Regina shook her head firmly. No, if Henry grew up to be like how she was in that age, he most certainly would not be interested in that.
"Maybe he'll surprise you," Emma snickered. "Maybe he'll be different from all the other teenagers."
An endearing thought, no doubt, but as special as Henry was, Regina doubted it. She shook her head once more and began scribbling on another post-it note. The pen scratched lightly against the paper, and as she wrote, she wondered if Emma found the sound to be annoying. She hoped not. In her eagerness to write, she felt her elbow brush against the cup of coffee, but a moment later, it had been moved away.
Once she was done writing, she looked at her reply for a moment. 'I doubt it. Henry is special I'll give you, but I don't think that he'll deviate much from the teenage cliché.' Then she pushed the note across the table.
After having read the note, Emma looked up at her and grinned. "And what is the teenage cliché, then?"
Regina was quick to scribble underneath: 'Sullen. Moody. Uninterested. Barricading himself in his room. Saying whatever constantly.'
Her answer clearly amused Emma Swan. She spluttered slightly. "That was very on point."
Regina nodded, shrugged, wrote a new experience. 'I was just using all the things I can remember from my own teenage years.' She had plenty of experience to draw on. She pushed the note over to Emma.
That caused Emma to laugh. "So you were a moody teenager then?"
A thousand times yes. Regina had indeed been quite the moody teenager. She nodded firmly and became a tad nostalgic as she remembered her teen years while writing down an answer: 'yes, terribly moody. And also incredibly gangly and awkward. I hoped Henry will be spared of that.' Emma was given the note, and Regina took a sip of her coffee. She couldn't forget drinking her coffee.
"No way, you were beautiful as a teenager!" Emma blurted. Then she blushed and looked down at her hands.
What? Regina frowned. That... made no sense whatsoever. If it was a compliment, Regina supposed it was sort of sweet, but it was still a bit of an odd compliment, was it not? She raised an eyebrow, gave Emma what she hoped was an 'explain'-look.
Emma blushed profusely. Then she rushed to explain, and the words nearly stumbled over each other as they fell from her lips: "Malena asked me to find a folder when I was at work the other day, and when I tried to grab it, it was stuck between two other folders. One of them fell on the floor and all the papers in it landed everywhere on the floor, and between some of the papers there was a picture stuffed away. A picture of you and her. As teenagers." she gave Regina a bit of a shy look as she concluded her little story.
Oh. Well, Regina supposed that made sense. She felt herself blush slightly. She knew that Malena had old pictures laying around. She was in no way embarrassed about her past relationship with Malena, but that still didn't mean that she necessarily wanted everyone to know about it. Why did dragons had to be such collectors, she wondered as she wrote a new message on a new post-it note. 'Oh, I see. Well, Malena has always been a bit of a collector. And especially a collector of memories. But still, it surprises me that she still has pictures lying around in strange places.'
"Maybe that's why it's called Dragon Publishing?" Emma suggested after having read the message.
Regina quirked an eyebrow once more.
"Aren't dragon's hoarders or something like that?"
Ah yes. Exactly. Feeling amused once more, Regina scribbled on a new note. 'Still, it was a long time ago. I'm assuming we looked happy in the picture?' she already knew what the answer to that would be when she pushed the note across the table.
"You did," Emma confirmed. "You sort of... had your arms around each other."
So it was that kind of picture. Exactly like Regina had suspected. What had she been in the picture? Sixteen? Seventeen? Not older. Oh god, it felt like such a long time ago now. She surprised herself when she felt her chest rumble in that silent laughter. Then she wrote: 'Those were the days. It's such a long time ago now, so much has happened since. It feels like it was a different life,' and moved the pen so Emma could read the message.
"Yeah," Emma said simply. Nothing more than that.
Regina got the feeling that Emma knew. Knew that her relationship with Malena had been more than just a friendship. Oh well. It wasn't like it was some deep, dark secrets of hers.
No, Regina had other secrets that were much darker than that...
"The weather is getting colder, huh?"
Thank god. Regina's thoughts had almost gone down a very dark road again, and she was relieved that Emma had said something. She immediately latched onto this new subject and glanced out of the window. Rubbed her arms to indicate how cold it had been to walk here from the car.
"Speaking of cold weather," Emma said, and Regina was certain that there was a twinge of anxiety in her voice.
What was that about? She raised an eyebrow and waited.
"When I was at the library, I saw a brochure for this... harvest festival happening by the end of the month," Emma said. Now she sounded croaky. Was she catching a cold or something?
Regina nodded. She had been to quite a few harvest festivals in Steveston. When Henry was younger. Before everything went to hell...
"It sounds like a really cool arrangement," Emma continued. "And I've never actually been to a harvest festival before."
Regina raised an eyebrow in disbelief. Really? Never? Emma Swan had been missing out on much, it would seem.
"Yeah, I know," Emma said. "Anyway, it seems like everyone is going with someone, so I was wondering if..."
Regina waited, but Emma did not finish the sentence. Regina grew confused. What was it that Emma was trying to say but could not seem to get out? Was she okay?
"I was wondering if you'd be interested in coming to the harvest festival?" she said quickly. "I know you've probably already been to a million harvest festivals already, and I know it's a pretty long drive for you, but... I don't know, I just figured it could be nice to go with someone I actually know better than I know the people living here."
That was a long stream of words, and since they had come out so quickly, Regina struggled to make sense of them for a moment. But when she did, she could not but feel slightly... panicked. Was this... No. Emma was not asking her on a... was she? No, that couldn't be it. They were friends, were they not? Just friends. That was all. Regina swallowed something.
"You could bring Henry?" Emma suggested. "If he's into harvest festivals that is. I don't know if he wants to come or not, but if he does, I'd totally be down to talk more fairytale stuff with him."
Oh. Regina was sure she looked surprised. Emma was NOT asking her out. She merely wanted to spend time with them. Her and Henry. That was sweet. She moved her lips, saying a silent 'thank you' which Emma couldn't possibly have the chance of picking up on.
"I just figured I'd... ask."
Regina could not give an answer right away. Heaven knew it had been a long time since she had been attending a harvest festival in Steveston. And she knew that Henry would be delighted too. Happy about being invited by Emma. Happy to get the opportunity to talk fairy tales with Emma.
But there would be full of people. So many people. And they would look at her. With pity in their eyes. With curiosity.
And how was she gonna communicate with Emma throughout the night?
She could not stop and write post-it notes. Or write on her phone.
Would Emma think she was being impolite if she settled for using Sign Language and then leaving the translating to Henry?
God, it had been so long since she last had attended any kind of festival.
She wanted to go to the festival.
But she was also afraid of going to the festival.
BUT... if she said no, she would most likely regret it. She would regret that she hadn't been brave enough to say yes.
And Henry would be disappointed too.
This would be a nice surprise for him.
And a big step for her. Getting out and about. Like her therapist had said.
Why should she deny herself this opportunity?
Why indeed?
She nodded once. Then smiled hesitantly at Emma.
"Yeah?" Emma asked and sounded a bit hopeful.
Regina quickly grabbed another post-it note and wrote down a more sufficient answer: 'both Henry and I would like that. The harvest festival is quite special, and especially the first time you see it. It would be a shame if you didn't have anyone to share that experience with.' She was saying yes on Henry's behalf, but she already knew that he would say yes, so it was okay.
Emma smiled once she had read the message, but Regina withdrew the note and quickly wrote an afterthought: 'but I must warn you, Henry is a bit of a chatterbox.' That was not untrue.
Emma chuckled lightly. "That's fine by me."
'He'll undoubtedly talk for the both of us,' Regina wrote on a new post-it note and pushed it towards Emma.
Emma looked up so fast, Regina heard her neck give a faint crick, and she made sure to quirk an eyebrow to let Emma know that she was merely joking. A rare display of dark humor.
Emma laughed. She clearly appreciated dark humor. "That's okay too," she said. "I'm looking forward to seeing the kid again. He was very smart and funny the last time."
All thoughts of teasing immediately disappeared, and Regina found herself growing warm at the thought of Henry. He was indeed both smart and funny, and she highly appreciated Emma saying it. She gave a gentle nod.
They toasted in their coffee, and even though Regina was nervous about being amongst people, she was happy that she had said yes to Emma's suggestion. The harvest festival was something she had enjoyed once. So why shouldn't she do it again?
'How was it?'
The question was waiting on Regina's cellphone when she made it inside her car. She smiled a little at Zelena's curiosity and texted her sister back: 'it was very nice. Emma invited Henry and myself to go to the Harvest Festival with her.'
The answer came swiftly. 'Did she now? And what did you say?'
'I said yes. I think it could be very nice. For Henry too.'
'I'm proud of you!'
Regina rolled her eyes. Yes, of course Zelena was proud of her. 'Thank you.'
She had expected that to be the end, but to her surprise, it did not take long before her phone vibrated again. She put on her seatbelt and checked the message.
'And how do you feel about it?'
'I feel okay.'
'That's good. I know it's a big thing.'
Regina frowned a little. 'Not that big. It's just the Harvest Festival. I've been there many times, and so have Henry.'
'Was it Emma's suggestion to bring Henry along?'
'Yes, it was actually. Why do you ask?'
'I don't know, maybe I thought that it was your idea.'
'It wasn't. Are you going anywhere with this?' it was cold sitting in the car.
'Well, I thought that maybe Emma wanted to go on a date with you.'
Regina snorted. Zelena's imagination was wild sometimes. 'God no. Of course not.'
'Are you sure?'
Regina sighed now. 'Yes of course I'm sure. She invited Henry too. To be nice. We're just friends, Zelena.'
'Okay.'
Regina put her phone away to drive home. She hoped that Henry wanted to be picked up soon. She couldn't wait to tell him about the Harvest Festival...
To Be Continued...