JASON

Jason glanced at the sun that had burned off the grey morning. His wife walked beside him, holding his hand in amiable silence. They had accomplished everything on their list in town, including a scribbled note explaining his intentions to his brothers sent to the camp. While he enjoyed a small sense of satisfaction, it wasn't enough to quell the sense of dread he felt at leaving Laurie without answers.

Might have been the Schultz boy, Aaron had said.

No, Jason reminded himself, swallowing hard. Laurie's pretty much adopted him. He wouldn't.

And that display with the dog. He'd never seen Brodie mistreat an animal. Frank? It wouldn't have surprised him, but not Brodie. As much as Jason felt the conviction that he was right, the next thought kept nagging him.

Would he?

If only he had answers.

"Jason?"

"Hmm?" he asked, his eyes drifting to Laurie's face. She was breathless, her face fully flushed.

"Do you think we could slow down now? We're almost home."

"Home? Oh." He immediately slowed his gait, and he could have sworn he heard her sigh in relief. He grinned sheepishly at her. "Guess I was lost in thought."

Laurie gave his hand a sympathetic squeeze, and she looked up at the sun. She smiled.

He thought of the first time she gave him the impression of kissing the sun. He had watched her sing at the clothesline, his heart flip-flopping just as it was now. Little tendrils of blonde hair clung to her neck on the opposite side of her braid, damp from the summer heat, and he longed to kiss her there. He cleared his throat and asked, "What are you thinking?"

"How lucky we are that the sun is shining. If you were leaving while it was raining, I'd probably hide under the covers until you came home."

Jason bit back the not a bad idea comment that almost came tumbling out. Instead, he smiled back at her. "Well, you'll be too busy to notice my absence."

"I will?"

He licked his lips. He had told Aaron that Laurie would do whatever he told her, but now that the time had come to exercise his patriarchal rights, he found his throat dry. "Well, I suppose so," he said carefully. "You wouldn't want to disappoint our friends who come to call, would you?"

"No. That's a silly question."

"And... well, if someone needed your help overnight, say, Lottie... well, you have my permission to stay with her." Laurie's eyes narrowed, and his voice tapered quickly. He stopped just outside their cabin. "What did I say now?"

She shielded her eyes from the sun when she looked up at him, squinting. "Permission? That's not a word you normally use."

"It's not?"

"You rarely care what I do."

"No, I don't say anything because I like the way you handle yourself. There's a difference."

She cocked her head to the side a little, and he patiently watched as she thought about his statement. It was true. Dinner was usually waiting on him, not the other way around. His clothes were cleaned regularly, the home spotless. She was social enough to please him, read her Bible, and asked more theological questions than he had expected, though she hadn't asked to meet with Reverend Adams to discuss full fellowship into the Presbytery yet, which was just fine with him. And now, after his little talk with her, she had grown bolder in his bed, something the good Lord had provided that he hadn't known he needed.

What else could he ask for? If she wanted to make friends and do whatever women did when they weren't tending to their homes and babies, why should he argue? Still, he could see there was something she was warring over. Something that brought those two lines together between her eyebrows whenever she felt pained.

"I never had the feeling I had to ask for permission before," she said slowly. "Not from you. I don't want... oh! I don't want to anger you, but do you think you could not use that word?"

"Permission? Why?"

"It's just something Sherman would say. And I don't—nothing in our marriage is anything like my first marriage. I'd like to keep it that way."

Jason caught himself holding his breath and let it out. Her first husband. Of course. For the love of all that was holy, how many times would he come up? Sherman Campbell might have died in 1865, but Jason knew in Laurie's mind it might as well have been yesterday. It was wrong, but part of him wished he could raise Campbell from the dead so he could throttle him for all the pain he still wrought upon her.

She seemed to shift under his scrutiny, so he moved his gaze to a patch of Douglas fir and watched a yellow warbler flit from branch to branch, not yet willing to trust his voice. It was such a small thing to ask, yet it grated on his nerves. She thought he meant to control her. He didn't mean it that way. Surely, he didn't mean it that way. I don't mean it that way, do I?

"Jason?"

"Hmm?" he said, looking back down at her. She was watching him with earnest eyes that revealed the worry she felt.

"You're nothing like him. You know that."

He smiled and gently touched her cheek. "I don't want you to think I'd ever keep you from doing something you wanted to do. It's just... here, Laurie. Here in Seattle, well, it's still wild and untamed. It's more dangerous than San Francisco."

"Like you."

"Am I dangerous?" he asked, lifting his eyebrows.

"Only when you make me feel the way you did last night," she whispered, the flush in her cheeks turning from a hint of pink to rosy red.

Suddenly he didn't give two plumb nickels about her first husband anymore. He put his arm around her, noticing the heat coming off both their bodies. She felt like a sunburst on a typical Seattle summer day: hot and breathtaking.

"Why? How do I make you feel now?" he asked, dropping his voice into suggestive tones.

"Hotter'n a June bride in a feather bed," said Laurie, her eyes sliding over him in a way that made him shift and his smile grow. She touched his arm and ran her fingers over his jacket while giving him that sly look women always did when they wanted to be kissed, only this time he wasn't sure that was all she wanted. "Though in Louisiana, people would use that phrase for the weather. I suppose it applies to both."

His breath hitched for just a second while he stood stunned in front of her. Is she...? She is. Stars in heaven, she wants me. He took her by the arm and pulled her along with him.

"Jason?"

"We are so doing this now," he muttered, and with a rakish grin, scooped her up and carried her up the porch steps where he pinned her against the wall. He looked her in the eye, so he was sure she understood. "Right now."

"But I thought there was so much to do before tonight?" she asked in mock innocence when he leaned against her to open the door. She pressed her lips to his ear, and he made a guttural sound, wrenching the door open with one hand.

"Exactly," he said, putting her down inside the cabin and kicking the door shut. Without hesitation, he sat in a chair and swooped her into his lap, kissing her before she could say anything to ruin the moment. When they parted, he had her bodice unbuttoned and halfway off her shoulders. "Which is why," he whispered against her cheek, gently pushing her sleeves completely off her arms. "We're not wasting time."

LAURIE

It had long been evening, and the lamplight in the bedroom was low. Laurie folded Jason's linen dress shirt with precision neatness and placed it carefully on top of his black suit pants and coat. There was no help for it, his clothes would need to be pressed later. Hopefully, her husband would get some help at a hotel before he visited Kenna.

If he saw Kenna. She might get lucky with the timing of it all. Jason could miss Kenna all together, and that suited Laurie just fine.

What was more difficult than packing Jason's things into his inadequate travel bag and wishing he wasn't leaving at all, was ignoring the argument between him and his brothers. Voices rose and fell like the tide Captain Clancey was always referring to.

She smiled as she thought of the crusty sea captain's voice when they had left the saloon earlier. Clancey had told Jason that he had to be prompt that evening, giving a generous hint about what might keep Jason from making the trip. Jason had conspired over Clancey's head as the captain spoke, giving her a pointed look and a sly smile that made it hard for her to remember her misgivings and not giggle like a schoolgirl.

She touched her abdomen and gazed at her reflection in her mirror. Jason's lovemaking had been furious when they got home, leaving her with sizzling sensations and covering them in a sweaty sheen before both of them were satisfied, as though he was trying to connect their souls in one afternoon. Worn out and intoxicated with the wonder of what their bodies could do, she'd lain on the beaver pelt in front of the fireplace, barely conscious of him stroking her back and telling her about the arrangements he had made for her while he was out of town.

Jason's brothers and Aaron, or anyone else from the logging camp they trusted, would watch over her because someone's overt attention had him concerned. She couldn't quite remember if it was the same person who had watched them the night before or not. Her hand trembled as she laid a black silk ribbon for his suit in the traveling bag.

Laurie calmed her mind again by reminding herself that it wasn't necessarily the man in the mask that had watched her and Jason through their bedroom window. How odd her reactions must seem to Jason. Yet after a few years of singing in San Francisco, Laurie knew how men could get after a performance. Unwelcome attention came with the job, so there was no reason to get nervous. Not yet.

Still, Laurie admitted she was glad Jason was taking the intrusion on their privacy seriously. There had always been that one overly passionate patron that frightened the opera house staff, and Laurie seemed to attract them more than most. Part of her regretted wearing her red dress and singing in public. She had to tell herself repeatedly that if it really were the same masked man that had followed her before, the dress wouldn't have mattered.

In San Francisco and the boat after, he had seemed determined to kill her. He was still out there, whoever he was. If that really was him she had seen that night in Jason's camp. It wasn't too far of a stretch to admit she might have imagined the mask he wore. He had looked taller, not as muscular around the shoulders. Then again, it wasn't like she had been all that close to him either.

Part of her wondered if Jason had seen him since that night and wasn't telling her. Jason's tendency toward overprotectiveness wasn't helping things, but that might explain Jason's behavior. And if it were true, then her husband was right to be wary. But he would tell her if he had seen the mysterious man, wouldn't he? At any rate, she had no intention of going against his wishes. She would be a good wife and stay close to his family and friends.

The sun was low in the sky when she made quick supper while he took care of some paperwork and ate quickly so he could finish barricading the doors. Up to that point, his mood had been warm and sensuous. But once the work was done, Jason spoke to her in gentle tones and took the time to hold her close. They were kissing when Jeremy and Joshua had knocked on the door. Seeing the grim look on their faces, Laurie had cleared the table and silently slipped away to finish her chores. She had been in the kitchen doing the dishes when the argument broke out and stayed in the kitchen as long as she could, later slipping past them to the bedroom to pack Jason's things. Now she buttoned Jason's travel bag and sat back on the bed, raising her eyes to the ceiling while she listened.

"I don't know, Jason!" yelled Joshua. "Normally it's not this bad, but he attacked Billy like a cornered animal, and all Billy did was mention how taken you seemed to be with her at the party. It shouldn't have set him off like that!"

"Well, maybe he was just defending her."

"You don't really believe that, do you, Jeremy? He was mad, Jason! Like a jealous lover that just found out his woman was having an affair."

Eli was mentioned a time or two, but most of the argument was mainly about a man named McAllister. Laurie didn't think she had met him since moving to Seattle, but apparently, he knew her. Joshua said the man had been he had been drinking more than usual and busted up half the camp after the loggers that had gone to the party compared observations of her and Jason. The argument between Jason and his brothers was about how to serve discipline without losing any more men, or more importantly, time.

Laurie pulled a handkerchief out of her pocket and dabbed her forehead. They would have to conclude soon, or Jason would miss Clancey's boat. Besides, she was tired of hiding. At some point, they would all have to accept the fact that Jason was her husband, which meant she should be privy to things.

Her husband.

Those two little words sent a thrill through her. Was it only yesterday she was unsure how he would respond to her birthday preparations? And now they seemed to be barely able to control themselves. Newlyweds.

Sister Agnes was wrong about men. Sherman's type might prefer their women silent, but Jason seemed to like her to be a little more open with her feelings. It was hard to share things, but worth the effort. If only she could make herself tell him what he would find in San Francisco! She knew he'd ask Doreen about her internment at the asylum. That meant when he got home he would expect explanations she was terrified of giving. It was a relief to know she wouldn't have to hide things anymore, but if he spurned her now, she didn't know what she would do.

"Laurie?!"

At the sound of Jason calling her, she blew out the lamp and carried his bag with her to the big room.

"Oh. There you are, darling," he said, smiling at her from the door. Joshua and Jeremy were already on the porch in the evening air. "I'm afraid I wasn't watching the time. We're going to have to rush, but I trust I'm all packed."

Laurie smiled back and took his lunch pail from the table to hand to him along with his bag. "For the trip," she said. Candy had told her about the sparse meals on the Shamus O'Flynn, Clancey preferring whiskey to food, so she had made sure Jason had more than enough to supplement the trip there. She hoped he would do something about the way back, even though she doubted he would think of it at all.

"Thank you," he said with feeling and taking them both from her, followed Laurie outside.

The four of them began walking towards town when one of Jason's workers came running up, shouting Jason's name. Laurie hesitated, but Jason pushed her on.

"Josh, take care of it," Jason instructed. "Clancey won't wait, and I want to say a proper goodbye to Laurie."

"Sure," said Joshua, "Safe travels, brother."

"Thank you," Jason said to Joshua, and with a frown toward the man, kept walking.

"Jason, wait!" the man yelled. "I need to talk to you about the flume! You need to know—"

Laurie looked back to see the shadow of the man still waving at them, Joshua heading him off. He kept calling Jason's name.

"Eli," said Jason to her unspoken question. "He's drunk, Laurie. As I said, I don't have the time, I'm barely going to make it as is. I'll talk to him when I get back."

"Oh." She exchanged a look with Jeremy and could tell he was uncomfortable too.

The argument had mostly been between Joshua and Jeremy. Jeremy was still quiet around her, occasionally sending a shy smile her way. Tonight he didn't smile, giving her a feeling that something was off. She wished there had been time to talk to Jason about it all before he left, but it seemed it was one of many wishes that would remain left unfulfilled.

They hurried through town, Laurie somewhat winded, to approach the boat just in time among a tiny crowd gathered at the pier. Some folks were there to see the ship off, others gave Clancey last minute orders. The captain waved to them while he continued to yell at his crew in preparations to set sail. After throwing his possessions to one of the ship's crew members, Jason gave a few people a handshake and a smile. He cornered her between a large barrel and the ship, turning his back on them to allow a hint of privacy, and somehow the noise of everyone else faded away. For Laurie, there was only Jason.

"I'm sorry there wasn't time to say goodbye privately. I had to be sure I'd make it."

"I'm all right," she answered, and smiled up at him. The lamps nearby kept the pier lit enough to see every feature of his face. He was worried, and yet his eyes were bright with excitement.

"I wish you were going with me," he confessed. "I think we could have had a hell of a honeymoon."

Too astonished to correct his vulgarity, Laurie sucked in her breath. Now that he was leaving, she wished that too. She wished with all her heart she had met Jason before her life had become strangled by a series of traumatizing events. Maybe they would have liked each other even more.

"I'd rather you went and got it over with. I think we can have a more romantic time alone in our cabin."

He leaned with one hand against the ship, their noses almost touching. "Is that a promise for when I get back?"

"Perhaps," she whispered, tilting her face toward him. She could see it surprised him, but he quickly recovered, dipping his head to kiss her, his free hand gently holding her face. It was a slow kiss, one that filled Laurie's mind with the rough shadow of his shave against her skin, the softness of his lips, and the warm taste of whiskey on his breath.

Jason groaned softly when he ended it, and she noticed his heart beating hard against her hand on his chest. "I have to go," he whispered.

"Jason, you rapscallion! I said if you don't break up that amorous congress you got goin' with that new bride of yours and get your overgrown hide on this ship—Bah! I outta set sail without ya!"

"See?" he said, a bemused smile on his lips, not bothering to look up at Clancey's cursing.

"I'm sorry. I didn't hear him before."

"I could tell." There was a twinkle of mischievousness in his voice. He took a step away from her, a burst of applause and wolf whistles exploding from off the dock. Laurie peeked around his shoulder to see they were the sole interest of everyone around them. Thankfully, no one seemed put out by their public display.

Jason laughed and waved like an actor in a play before turning back to her. "I'll see you when I get back," he whispered and kissed her cheek.

"Bye," she whispered back.

He gave her another wistful smile and boarded the ship without looking at her until he planted his feet near the mast.

"Och! The young lovers have finally torn themselves away, have they now? Mr. Rosenfield, look alive over there! Yes, that's right, pull the ladder in there... Well, cast us off, Mr. Johnson! What are you waiting for? Aye, that's a good fellow."

Clancey's instructions kept booming out, and before long the ship drifted away from the small pier. Laurie walked past a few posts, keeping the boat in sight, although the night seemed to be rapidly swallowing it. Just before she could no longer see him, Jason lifted his arm, and she waved back. Within a sigh, he was gone.

"That was intense," said Ben from beside her. Laurie started. She didn't remember the small crowd moving with her, and now most of them were disappearing. Candy and Jeremy were still watching the sea where the boat had disappeared. "Anyway, I guess I need to give you this. I was supposed to give it to Jason, but Josh said I should wait."

"Wouldn't have done any good," said Joshua in response to Ben's accusing voice from beside him. "Jason wouldn't have left Seattle if you had."

A fleeting moment of curiosity filled her as she wondered when he had arrived at the pier. Ben handed her a small piece of paper. When Laurie opened it, there was enough light to see it was a telegram. She had to squint, but once she read the words, the warmth Jason had left her with drained out of her system. She looked back to the sea, barely fighting the urge to call him back.

"I'm sorry, I can see that distresses you," Ben said, his deep southern drawl being more drawn out than usual with sympathy. "I told you to let me give it to him," he said to Joshua.

"We'll handle it, Ben. He needs to do this, and she's not incapable."

"What's going on?" Jeremy asked as he approached, Candy at his side. She touched Laurie's arm, her face mirroring Jeremy's concern.

"It's my brother," Laurie said, her eyes dropping back to the paper in her hands. "He's on his way to Seattle."

JASON

"Take it easy there, lad. She'll be waitin' when you get back and squeezing your neck so tight you'll know what it means for a married man to have his head in the noose," said Clancey, chuckling at his own wit.

Jason backed away from the edge of the ship he had been leaning on and folded his arms, eyeing his old friend carrying a whiskey bottle in one hand and a full glass in the other. The black sky had changed to a navy blue, and the stars disappeared one by one with the promise of the morning sun, a testament of how long he had stood brooding over whether Laurie had taken his instructions seriously enough to overcome her impulses and the troublesome problems Eli and McAllister seemed to be at the heart of.

"At any rate, Jason, mooning about now isn't going to help you none. You've made your choice, man! See here," he said, offering his shot of whiskey to Jason. "Go ahead. Have a drink and go get some rest below. It'll be daylight soon, and the world'll look a might better with the sun on your face and a couple of shots of breakfast in your gut."

Jason took the drink and after staring into the glass for a moment, threw its contents down his throat and smacked his lips, savoring the wetness on his lips for a few seconds before handing it back to Clancey. "Thank you," he said, walking past the captain. "I needed that."

"Well, of course, you did."

Jason stumbled his way toward the hold and looked over his shoulder to see his old friend peering at him with a watchful eye.

"What do you mean, 'Of course I did?'"

Clancey leaned back and laughed. After a moment of Clancey laughing and pointing, Jason laughed too. He laughed all the while Clancey handed the bottle over, and while shaking his head, waved goodnight and still snickered at himself as he climbed down into the hold where Clancey had created a few makeshift cabins out of the old mule boat's hold. He took another long swig straight out of the bottle and quickly sobered.

Of course, I did.