Episode 11

"Ranpo is being a big baby isn't he?" The cast looks at the sulking detective.

"I don't wanna be mean to Kyouka!" He wails.

Hirotsu sweatdrops.

"It's only pretend." Mori sighs.

Everyone else just stares.

"So now Mori's mean to Higuchi? Jesus, this is gonna be a hard episode, huh?"

"I mean, I'm not really Mafia. I'm a drill instructor for the special forces."

Everyone looks at Higuchi in awe. "What?"

"That explains your firearms knowledge." Naomi muses.

"And your muscle." Gin adds.

"And your no-nonsense demeanor." Tachihara continues.

Atsushi examines her. "And why you always smell like gunpowder."

"I smell?" She sniffs her arm.

"Only because I'm a tiger."

"What is this, bully Higuchi: the episode?" Akutagawa snaps.

Hirotsu sighs. "I agree with that observation. It seems a little over-the-top."

Gin nods emphatically. Tachihara nods as well.

"Guys…" Higuchi remarks, touched.

"I hope you know that at minimum three quarters of the cast would murder for you." Tachihara informs her. "None of this only because of Akutagawa bullshit. You're well liked around here."

She sniffs. Tears are in her eyes. "I'd kill for any one of the cast as well. We've become some kind of dysfunctional family unit, huh?"

Atsushi shrugs. "Well the tiger thinks Akutagawa and Gin are its cousins and you and Hirotsu by extension. So yes. It also thinks Kunikida and Dazai are my older brothers, Kyouka is my sister, Ranpo is a cousin, Kenji is a cousin, Fukuzawa's my uncle/dad figure, Mori's an uncle, Yosano's a big sister/aunt, Chuuya's like some step-brother, and Kajii's the weird uncle. The Tanizakis are like my siblings, Elise is a cousin, and Tachihara is my mate to it. It likes making family connections."

"So it thinks we're all family. That's sweet." Tachihara throws an arm over Higuchi's shoulders. "See, one out of one tigers agree with you!"

She laughs through her tears.

"Kill everyone you don't recognize?" Tachihara reads the paper. "That is bad ass as fuck! Hell yeah I play a cool character!"

"And we stand up for Higuchi." Hirotsu adds calmly.

"That's a bonus." He admits.

"Are you shipping me and Akutagawa?!" Higuchi demands.

"Yes." Mori says.

"I'm GAY!"

The set goes silent, then applause breaks out. "Congrats for coming out, Higuchi!" Tachihara calls. "Now there are three confirmed gays on set!"

She blushes bright red. "Um…I did not mean to say that out loud." She mutters.

Akutagawa pats her shoulder. "If anyone gives anyone else flak about being gay, female, male, bisexual, transgender, or anything else, they're dealing with me!" He says loudly.

"And me." Gin adds, flipping a knife around in one hand.

Everyone nods.

"The perpetrator'd get tied up and thrown off a cliff!" Kenji chirps. "But in my real village, they'd get the year's bad fruit thrown at them then they'd sit in jail for a while! Everyone would give them disappointed looks and they'd feel really bad. Except for murderers. They get tied up and thrown off a cliff."

"CUT! Kenji! Script!"

"Oopsie." He chuckles.

"So Kenji's really popular in the city?" Dazai asks.

"Yeeah, I don't see it." Tanizaki adds.

An extra calls out for Kenji. "Kenji-kun, thank you for the tips on gardening the other day!"

Another hands him a book. "This is the book you lent me, thanks."

"I see it now." The pair say in unison.

"I'm not stupid enough to believe everything everyone says!" Kenji protests, waving his arms.

"You believed me when I told you gasoline was actually just processed octopus blood yesterday." Dazai retorts.

"I didn't know any better!" He protests again.

"Exactly."