Major CW: Graphic suicide attempt and suicidal thoughts, The graphic suicide attempt is in between dividers

Other CWs: Disordered eating, death, vomiting, emotional abuse, implied child sexual abuse, implied rape, referenced alcohol abuse, referenced domestic violence, dissociative episodes

School re-started. Toni threw herself into her Studies or her own inventions. Anything to not remember, to not think about it. Rhodey was still a mother hen but besides some serious all-nighters, Toni was doing better. She ate food even though it was hard, even if there were often her mother's tirades about calories in her brain.

Rhodey had come up with ways to get Toni to eat. His plan had basically been to leave the TV on or pick a fight with Toni about Buffy or The X-files. Toni often argued with The X-files as they had the wrong agencies who did Alien stuff and that it wasn't vacancies that were killing the populace toxic runoff and nuclear superfund sites did it all by themselves obviously. Toni was also anti-Ross Geller so just bringing him up Toni would rant about it long enough she would absentmindedly eat all her food.

Playing fetch with the bots was something that was deeply amusing as other people always stared at them in the lab. Classes were so easy and she was even doing all the work on a schedule. Her personal studies still sucked her attention but she was even sleeping.

And well things were getting into a stable pattern till it happened. One of the most goddamn horrible things that could happen to her ever and Toni had already suffered a few shitty things.

She was just writing some paper on the history of something else when the phone rang. Toni picked it up and Obie's voice made her blood run cold.

"Toni, I have something to tell you."

"Okay"

"Your mother, father and Butler died. A car crash, Howard was drinking."

"Wha...what?" Toni said standing up her arm wrapping around her chest.

"Yes, today. All dead on the scene."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sorry."

"Oh...um...what happens to me?" Toni couldn't help asking.

"I'll take care of you till you're old enough."

"Okay." Her hands started shaking, her heart broke she didn't even know it could do it anymore after years of doing so. Everything shifted at that moment the bit of light that surrounded the gaping hole in her chest was finally sucked in. She fell to the floor, the couch seeming way too far away.

"The company too, I'll take care of that."

"Okay," Toni whispered

"A driver will bring you home. The funeral is in four days."

"What about Jarvis?"

"His funeral in two days."

"Okay," Toni mumbled.

"I'm so sorry Toni. I love you"

"Love you too."

The phone crashed on the floor and sounded way louder then it had the right too. Toni sat there for what must have been at least ten minutes. Her brain completely blanked out except for the phrase 'they're gone' on repeat.

Her first coherent thought after that was 'fuck now Obie has control of everything.' He could do what he wanted to her anytime he wanted, not even in secret, could do it everywhere. Obie had all the money, all the guns, all the control, power over everything. He could tell her where to go, where to live. Oh god, she was alone with him forever. Everything felt like it was on fire burning all around her as her throat felt like someone was strangling her. No, he couldn't do that to her, she wouldn't let him.

-

Suddenly the fear stopped and the fire went out. Cold numb dread replaced everything accompanied by the memory of an old pill bottle and terrified child curled on a bed. That was what she had to do, but better this time. There just wasn't anything left but to just end it. End it before it even started.

Toni stood up. All too human fears of the question happened after you died overshadowed by the certainty that was life with Obie. Toni stood in the bathroom and she poured out some of her meds and down the hatch, it went. She stuck her head under the faucet liking the feeling of the ice-cold water on her face. Toni slid to the floor and leaned against the wall and waited until the blackness claimed her.

Sadly, she woke up on the cold floor of the bathroom. She was pissed and even more so when she started heaving on the ceramic floor. Toni couldn't stop herself. She started screaming she didn't know what else to do, puke and snot all around her. Then the banshee fucking shriek just dissolved into horrid sobs.

-

Rhodey banged into the bathroom. Complete horror overtook him seeing his best friend in a heap on the floor sobbing covered in puke.

"Oh, baby girl." He muttered.

He helped her sit up. Toni stared at his face and fell forward wrapping her arms around him.

"They're gone Rhodey he's gone. Jarvis, Dad, Mom. Car crash." Toni said

"Oh, baby girl" He whispered again as Toni sat back on her legs at weird angles that could not be comfortable staring at him with glossed over eyes. He was peripherally aware his uniform was now covered in the same sick mix of fluid that covered Toni. But he couldn't even care.

"They died, they all died. Now it's just Obie. I can't." She sobbed.

Rhodey's heart clenched. God, Tonis' face contorted in such fear and grief. He couldn't stop his own tears.

Toni turned to the side puking again. God, she just wanted everything to stop, and now she was hurting Rhodey too. She was saying gibberish that she forgot a moment after it slipped from her lips. They stayed there. Until Toni stopped throwing up and the tears mostly stopped. Rhodey helped undress his friend and got her into a shower.

He looked around him. Noticing the open pill bottle. He just shook his head. God, there was nothing to say his best friend kept doing this almost dying shit. How do you handle that, what do you do with the fear and sadness? His and hers.

Cleaning the puke was nauseating he had to keep himself from adding to the mess. When Toni didn't get out of the shower he figured he would have to see why. Fears of her not being... alive anymore running through him.

"Toni, you okay?"

The water stopped and she opened the door. Toni looked at him. Everything was so numb, his face not fully registering like it was blurred at the edges.

"A driver is probably gonna be here soon. Have to go to the funerals."

"Right now you need clothes, and to brush your teeth."

"Okay. But I have to say goodbye to Jarvis. He's only got a wife. Can't be one person he's too good."

"Why don't I come too? Then there are three of us."

"Sounds good."

"Course." Rhodey stayed with her. She got dressed all like a zombie, packed like a zombie, drank water like a zombie.

Toni's mind just kept throwing her pictures, good ones, bad ones and everything in between. All a jumbled slide show. The mental images flitting by consuming her thoughts everything else was over there.

When they neared the house. Toni knew she had to be a Stark now. The paparazzi would be there. She reached into her bag and Shocked Rhodey when she changed right in the back into a fancy skirt and shirt. She brushed her hair and slid shades on. She stared ahead, it was time. Now Toni needed to have armour like aunt Peggy, a mask like her mom, be as solid and unreadable as Nicky, untouchable like Howard. Never let them see you break.

Rhodey couldn't pretend he wasn't put off by the change like another Toni was next to him.

They got to the house and as Toni predicted press everywhere. She got out and passed every camera with a blank expression. They got the door she turned to put on her best sad face.

"You should all leave, we are in mourning my dear parents give us some peace please you can all watch the funeral. I'm sure it will be on every news station"

She then opened those goddamn doors they slammed behind her with a satisfyingly loud sound. Toni walked in and walked to the living room. Her hands were not shaking, she was not scared, or at least that's what she told herself. Obie was drinking scotch, the smell set the ambience of the room to fear. Light streamed through red curtains into a wood-panelled room, it was like talking to Don Corleone.

"Oh Toni" He gave her a stiff hug, " I am so sorry for your loss."

"I know such a tragedy. What are the plans?" Toni said. Her emotions so numbed out all she could feel was the never-ending pain in her head.

"A joint funeral in three days. Obviously a large event. Your father and mother will be missed."

"People will miss the guns and money. Not sure anyone really knew the people" Toni corrected him. The words were angry but no emotion coloured them. Toni looked into space absentmindedly twisting her locket.

"Well yes. " Obie then laid specifics. Toni didn't really care what they were buried in, she didn't care about any of it. When Obie finished he stared at her clearly wanting an answer

"Did you get me a dress?"

"Yes, it's in your room, along with acceptable makeup choices. A driver will bring you"

Toni nodded, "did they find a bracelet on mom?" she asked the first emotion coming through sadness tingeing her words.

"Ah yes." Obie stood and got it from a small box on the table.

"It's not very fancy, why would you care?"

"I know but she had it my whole life. It means a lot, can I have it?"

"Sure," Obie said, tossing it to Toni. "Speaking of things. The will is to be read tomorrow at two. I figured you'd want to bury your butler you were close."

"Thank you, Obie. For taking care of all this."

"To be honest I was worried about the stress it would cause you."

"Am I going to live here when I'm not at school?"

"Ahh yes. I'll stay here during the summer so you're not alone. "

"Just you? Toni asked. Her skin crawling thinking of the two of them alone in the house

"Yes besides the staff and such, but I'll be here with you. You're my girl."Obie said placing his hands on Toni. Toni didn't even flinch. Her body was too heavy and stiff to move.

"Again thank you. I'm going to go to sleep now" Toni said.

"I would appreciate you coming by my office later. There are some papers I need you singing too, but I have to verify them as you're still a kid."

"We both know I'm not a kid, haven't been in a long time," Toni said stiffly a hint of anger flicked across Obie's face. "And of course i'll come, have Jar...one of your assistants come get me"

Toni turned and walked to her room. She heard Rhodey's steps behind her. Toni slid to the floor in her room. The armour falling. Rhodey sat down next to her.

"What the hell was that?"

Toni was unable to answer, the panic had seized her chest. Rhodey ran his hand through her hair recognizing he would not get an answer yet. When the panic edged enough for her to breath she whispered, "I'm sorry Rhodey."

"Why?"

"I don't like that version of me. But it's so much easier, be ice then let it all hurt."

"It's okay. You just lost your family, kid, I'm not mad. I'm worried as fuck considering you tried to kill yourself and haven't said anything to me that was coherent till now. But I am not angry."

"I'm sorry. I panicked, I didn't want to be stuck with Obie. I don't know how to do it without Jarvis."

Rhodey rubbed a circle on her back. "Even when I'm not here, I'm with you."

Toni smiled but it was hollow. "I know no one can save me Rhodey."

"Toni?"

"You don't have to worry. I know, but I love you."

Rhodey looked at her, his heartbreaking. Toni stood up to lead Rhoey around showing him the house. Minus Obie's guest room and office. He was impressed with the lab and the amount of Captain America merch. It was also so much space and rooms. He wondered what four people could do with that much space.

When they got back to Toni's room she stood in front of her Captain America comics. She danced her fingers along the spines of the books.

"I love Steve you know."

"I can tell. A super fangirl. The poster you talk to on the wall was also a clue"

"Since Aunt Peggy gave me Bucky Bear. Well, actually I had some of the posters before and the strategy books. But I fell in love when Aunt Peggy told me her stories. How he was willing to fight before the serum made him special. How he stood up for the little guys. Howard doesn't...well didn't like those stories he prefers other ones the bloody explosion ones. They both liked how he punched Nazis and beat red skull."

"Punching Nazis is always good."

"For sure. I always dreamed he'd save me." Toni mumbled her eyes glossing over blurring the words and colours.

"Toni..." Rhodey began.

"I guess he did. I still believe people like him do exist. Like you, people who still want to be good."

A man in a boring black suit pushed the door open.

"Mr Stane requests your presence."

"Okay."

Toni did sign some papers, but then they went to the bedroom. Toni felt the complete void swallow her, again.

Walking back to her room she saw Rhodey was asleep on the bed still in his uniform. His presence made her smile even after what just happened. She felt ashamed of Obies sweat and spit and worse on her. She slipped silently into the bathroom and cleaned up, sliding on pyjamas. Rhodey was still asleep. She crawled on the bed and closed her eyes. Praying for some sleep, hoping for some relief from her past crushing her.