Wow! Thank you all so much for all of your kind words last chapter. I was a little nervous to post it and wasn't sure how it would be received, but I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
User42 - Izzy is definitely a conundrum and more of that will be explained in later chapters. And honestly, "ugh...Quinn" perfectly sums up the last chapter. Hopefully after this one, there is a little less of that. Thanks so much for the review!
NJCE - I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter! I go back and forth with whether or not I'm angry with Quinn, too. There was certainly progress between Jordan and Quinn last chapter, and we'll see how that changes/if it changes after this one, but I hope it doesn't disappoint. Also I love reading your predictions... I won't necessarily confirm nor deny them but I will say you hit a lot of good points and that if these predictions don't come to fruition this chapter, I do think they'll be addressed in later ones. And yes! I definitely considered having Beca bring Izzy home but I really wanted to focus on the aftermath in the family, specifically, before diving into Izzy and Quinn's relationship a little bit more. Again, I'm so glad you enjoyed it, and as always, thanks so much for your review!
Bechloe-bible-49 - I'm so glad you're enjoying the story! It's definitely a hard spot for everyone to be in. Hopefully after this chapter, somethings will be resolved and they can start to move forward as a family :) Thanks so much for the review!
Guest (1) - Yes! I agree and I think your analysis is spot on! Fear not, the discussion with the moms and Quinn is the brunt of this chapter, so I hope it lives up to your expectations! I'd also love to hear your predictions if you want to share... and don't worry, Izzy will get her day in the spotlight shortly, and Lucas will return, too :) Thank you so much for your support and for your review!
Guest (2) - Thank you so much! I'm so glad you're enjoying it! Hopefully you enjoy this chapter as well :)
Wolvezzz - Ahh I was so nervous about Chapter 13 because I wasn't sure if it would be too unexpected but I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Chloe's reaction will definitely be expanded in this one, and I hope it isn't too bad. Feel free to share whatever it is you want/need to share! You're exactly right - this is a community and I'm so glad that you feel the same way about it! Also, that's so funny about your sister. As for your audition, it's so soon, that's crazy! I would say sing whatever you're most comfortable with because I think, and I literally suck at singing so I am just speaking from an audience's perspective, when you're comfortable, and when you actually enjoy the song, that can really shine through. And I'm not sure if you read the other reviews, but somethingthatismine says: "can i chime in here for Wolvezzz for a bit. Just wanna send good lucks for your audition too dude." So you have lots of support! I can't wait to hear all about it if you want to share! (Also I laughed probably harder than I should have at the "aca-mazing" comment so thank you for that). Thank you, as always, for your support!
Isaiah Flamez - Beca and Chloe are currently fostering three siblings: Quinn (16), Jordan (8), and Ava (5). While Jordan and Ava have gradually been getting more comfortable, Quinn has been reluctant in allowing Beca and Chloe into her life, due to never really having anyone that has cared about her besides her siblings and her best friend, Izzy. Recently, Quinn has been sneaking out to see Izzy and last chapter, that ended with Izzy and Quinn getting arrested for trespassing. And here we are at this chapter, where Beca and Chloe are actually going to have to talk to Quinn about what's been going on. Thanks so much for the support!
Somethingthatismine - Haha the card game definitely was the calm before the storm in multiple ways, including how Jordan and Quinn have been acting toward each other (little bit of foreshadowing for you there ;)). Yes, I agree with you with Chloe not being able to stay all calm and cheery all the time, and hopefully that is portrayed during their discussion with Quinn in this chapter. Just a fair warning, I did have every intention of having Chloe getting super duper upset and yelling a bit, but when I actually sat down to write the scene, it didn't flow that way, so I hope you still are satisfied with how it turned out. But you're right, she is human and she still has every right to be upset and I think I was still able to capture that a little bit (I hope at least). Also, I passed along your well wishes to Wolvezzz in their response! Thank you so much for your review and your continued support! I hope this chapter lives up to your expectations!
Chapter 14
Content Warning: Mentions of drug abuse, domestic violence, and house fire.
As they were expecting, and of course with the help of caffeine, neither Beca nor Chloe get a wink of sleep that night. They go through five episodes of Grey's Anatomy on Netflix, the familiar presence of the cast soothing for their, respective, busy minds. They don't talk – each one of them consumed with their own thoughts – but wrapped up in each other's arms is enough reassurance that they'll weather this storm together, too.
By the time seven-thirty rolls around, they're both exhausted out of their minds, but know they're going to have to start mentally preparing themselves for when the kids – all four of them – wake up. In some stroke of utter luck, none of the younger kids woke up from the time Quinn left, to the time she got back home. And while it is a blessing in its own sense, that just means they're going to have a lot of explaining to do once they actually come downstairs.
"We should probably start getting breakfast ready. The kids are going to be up soon." Beca runs her hand down the side of Chloe's arm, causing the redhead to tighten her hold on the other woman.
"What are we supposed to tell them? They're going to know something is up."
Beca shrugs. "The truth. They deserve that much."
Chloe hums in agreement. "How do you think Ava and Jordan are going to take it?"
"I have no idea. The good thing is that she is home, and she is safe. It's not like they'll have to be worried about that."
A yawn escapes Chloe's mouth. "They'll just be worrying about the aftermath."
"Yep. Pretty much."
The steady silence falls over them, the television no longer playing, and the house still. It's eerie. Like they're waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Startling both of them, the sound of someone unlocking their door to the garage breaks them from their trance. Beca and Chloe straighten, each of them running an exhausted hand over their faces as Macy creeps around the corner.
She gives them a sad smile. "Hey, guys."
"Morning, Mace." At the sight of the younger Mitchell sister – arguably the first teenager that her and Beca raised together – tears spring to Chloe's eyes. She blinks them away, but Beca's tightening grip on her hand tells her that she noticed. "Did uh… did Lucas tell you?"
Macy nods, revealing a box of donuts and a tray of coffee in her hands. "Yeah, he called me last night after Bec picked her up. Figured I could bring breakfast and offer moral support."
"Thanks, munch." Beca stands from the couch, gathering her sister in a brief hug. "You didn't have to do that."
Chloe follows close behind, giving Macy her own hug, before the three of them head into the kitchen. They leave their blankets and coffee mugs abandoned in the living room and gather around the counter instead. As soon as they're back beside each other, Beca and Chloe move to hold each other's hands.
Macy takes a hesitant seat at one of the stools. "How're you guys holding up?"
Beca and Chloe exchange an uncertain glance before Beca answers. "Well, we didn't sleep last night, in case you couldn't tell."
Macy grimaces. "If the bags under your eyes didn't give it away, the mess on the couch did."
A light laugh flits past Beca's lips. "Thanks, Mace."
"Sure thing." She passes out the coffee, Beca taking a sip almost immediately, while Chloe just holds the warm cup to her hands. "Did she say anything to you guys?"
"We didn't really give her a chance. I sent her to bed as soon as she got home." The guilt is evident in Chloe's voice, and she casts her gaze downward as soon as she says it.
Beca squeezes her hand. "It's okay, Chlo. It was the best thing we could've done. None of us were ready to talk."
Macy nods in agreement. "It was good that you took the night. Even if none of you got any sleep." She pauses, taking a sip of her own coffee. "I assume no one else is up yet?"
"No. I doubt Quinn will be up for a while. The younger kids should be up within the next ten minutes or so."
"Have you called Rachel yet?"
Beca stiffens, taking a deep breath as she does. Besides knowing that they have to, it's the last thing that Beca wants to do. She doesn't want Rachel to pull the kids from the house, she doesn't want Rachel to even come to their house. Yet if she were to find out from someone else that Quinn was arrested, it wouldn't be good. "No. We figured we would wait until later this morning."
"We wanted to wait until we talked to the kids. Prepare them if she is going to come over." Chloe takes a tentative sip of her coffee. "This isn't… this isn't something that we could lose our license over, right? Like she wouldn't just take the kids over this?"
Macy shakes her head. "No. But she'll want to know what happened and to talk to Quinn. Maybe the younger kids, too."
Beca sighs. "Great. That's just what they need after this week."
Upstairs, one of the bedroom doors opens, causing all three of the Mitchell women in the kitchen to freeze. Seconds later, another bedroom door opens, and Beca and Chloe let out a collective sigh of relief. Although they're still not sure what to say to the younger kids (they know it's them; Jordan has a tendency to wait for someone else to leave their room first, before coming out himself) they're grateful it's not Quinn.
Chloe, Beca, and Macy, wait with bated breath as they listen to the soft giggles already floating from the upstairs as they take turns in the bathroom. They practically freeze as soon as three sets of feet come pitter-pattering down the stairs.
Chloe is the first one to recover as the three kids turn the corner. Her smile grows on her face as she releases Beca's hand. "Morning, guys! How did you sleep?" She brings each one in for a hug, pressing a loving kiss into the top of their heads as she does so. "Did you have good dreams?"
Rosie doesn't answer, and instead exclaims, as she always does, "Auntie M! What are you doing here?!"
She runs past Chloe and launches herself into her aunt's waiting arms. "Thought I'd come surprise my favorite kiddos. How was your sleep?"
"It was good!"
Surprising all of them, Jordan gives Macy a small wave after being hugged tightly by both Chloe and Beca. There's a soft, and thoroughly pleased, smile on his face. "Hi, Macy."
Macy grins. "Good morning, Jordan. Do you like donuts? I brought a whole bunch of different kinds."
He nods enthusiastically, climbing on to one of the other stools as Ava does the same. Rosie takes the one that Macy had been sitting in. "Ava really likes donuts, too."
Macy leans across the counter to face her, bringing the box with her. "Really? What's your favorite kind of donut, Ava?"
Ava looks greedily at the box, her tongue sticking out of the corner of her mouth as she chooses a chocolate glazed one. "Chocolate."
"Perfect."
Rosie takes a blueberry one, which is her ultimate favorite, and, as Chloe and Beca are expecting, Jordan takes a jelly one.
Through a mouthful of donut, Rosie kneels on her stool, her eyes bright as she addresses her aunt. "What are you doing here, Auntie M? It's so early! Are we going on an adventure today?"
"Mouth closed when you're chewing, bug," Beca chastises gently, trying to make herself busy by getting drinks and napkins for fear that her face is going to give some kind of truth from last night, away.
"Sorry, Mama." Rosie finishes chewing, swallowing dramatically. "Are we going on an adventure, Auntie M?"
Macy looks briefly behind her at her sister and sister-in-law, but neither one of them seem to have an answer. "Maybe, Ro. Let's finish eating breakfast first and then see what your moms want to do."
Ava frowns slightly. "What 'bout Bubble Guppies?"
Chloe practically melts at the question. Saturday mornings are typically reserved for cartoons. It's a great way to spend some quality time with the kids before the business of the day swoops them up in the commotion. "You'll still be able to watch your show, love. It isn't even eight yet, so you still have plenty of time."
The corners of Ava's mouth quirk upwards. "Okay."
The kids settle in to eat their breakfast, frosting and glaze and jelly getting all over each one of their adorable faces. As they contently sit at the counter, oblivious to any of the happenings of last night, Beca's heart starts to pound in her chest. They need to do this right. Ava and Jordan look so happy and so at peace. Telling them about their sister is most likely going to destroy them. That is the last thing that Beca wants.
Chloe must be thinking the same thing because she's simply leaning against the opposite counter, keeping her coffee cup to her lips as though wanting to prevent any words from slipping out.
But as they finish eating, and the time ticks closer to a time that Quinn might wake up at, both women exchange a nervous glance across the kitchen. They know they are going to have to tell them, and it'll be easier to rip off the band aid than continue standing here and lying to them by acting like everything is alright.
When Rosie wipes her mouth with a flourish of the napkin, Beca breaks the ice. "Rosie, maybe you could bring Auntie M downstairs and show her some of the new movies we got last week."
The five-year-old nods enthusiastically, her bed-head bouncing up and down. "Auntie M, we got so many."
Macy laughs, understanding her role and what she needs to do. "I'm excited to see them. Ready?"
Rosie slides off the stool with ease, turning around to face Ava expectantly. "Ava, you comin'?"
"Actually, bug, Mama and I want to talk with Ava and Jordan for a few seconds. She'll meet you down there. Promise."
Ava and Jordan stiffen at Chloe's words, but remain seated, even with the terrified looks on their faces. Rosie, too, seems confused, but takes Macy's hand, nonetheless. "'Kay. Come on Auntie M."
Macy follows her niece after giving Beca and Chloe a tight smile of support. Beca watches them leave, before turning her attention to Ava and Jordan, who have fallen anxiously silent. "Do we, uh, do we want to sit on the couch?"
"I think that's a great idea." Chloe holds out her hand, which Ava tentatively takes, while Jordan hesitantly follows. He wraps his arms around his torso, not looking either one of his foster moms in their eye.
It is killing Beca to allow them to sit in these nerves, and there's nothing that they can do about it.
Chloe pushes the blankets off to the side, perching herself in the corner of the couch, and lifting Ava on to her lap when she continues to stand awkwardly by the side. In any other circumstances, both Beca and Chloe would be thrilled, yet they know it's all about to come crashing down. Beca sits close to them and Jordan takes a seat in the middle, his gaze never lifting from the floor.
"Are we in trouble?" Jordan's voice is quiet as though he's afraid to ask.
Chloe immediately shakes her head, resting one arm around Ava's waist to hold her steady, and the other one on Jordan's hand. "No, buddy, not at all. Beca and I just wanted to talk to you about something that um… something that happened last night."
Jordan furrows his eyebrows, finally looking up. "What happened?"
Beca clears her throat, and after exchanging a brief glance of support from Chloe, lets out the news slowly. "Last night, Quinn snuck out again, and, well… when she was out, Quinn was arrested."
For the second time, Jordan falls silent, and Beca swears she hears his breath hitch.
But it's Ava that breaks the stunned silence. "What's… what's arrested?"
Chloe's heart shatters for what seems like the thousandth time over the last few weeks. She brushes some of Ava's messy hair out of her face, repositioning her barrette that has been falling down the side of her head. "Arrested means that Quinn got in trouble, and a police officer brought her to the police station."
Jordan turns to Beca, tears swimming in his eyes, his fists clenched on his lap. "Is she gone?"
"No, buddy." Beca pulls Jordan into her side, watching as his chest starts to rise and fall a little bit quicker. "She is upstairs sleeping in her room. The guy that had them arrested didn't want them to get in trouble, so I got to go pick her up. She's okay."
Ava seems to contemplate what's been said, mulling the word over in her head. "Is arrested bad?"
Jesus. Beca sighs. "It is, so Quinn's in a little bit of trouble. But what's important is that she is okay, she is safe, and she is home."
Both kids fall silent, and because Beca is staring so intently at the two of them, it doesn't take long for her to notice that Jordan has tears streaming down his face. "J, it's okay…"
He shakes his eyes, hands shaking in front of him. The eight-year-old isn't exactly sure what he's feeling, with seven different emotions racing through his mind. Only one thought is prominent enough to stick out amongst the rest. "I um… can I go upstairs. Please?"
Chloe tries to take his hand, but with Ava on her lap, the angle is strained. "Jordan, buddy, I know this is probably really upsetting –"
"—I just need to go upstairs, please." He turns to look at Beca, wide hazel orbs pleading. "Can I? Please."
Not having any choice but to relent, Beca gives him a gentle nod. "Sure, kiddo. We'll be up to check on you in a little bit."
Jordan doesn't stick around to hear anything else that either Chloe or Beca have to say. He pushes himself off the couch, trying to keep his breathing under control as he takes the stairs two at a time. By the time he reaches the bedrooms, his chest feels like it's on fire, his hands are balled in tiny fists, and tears are angrily streaming down his face. Without any hesitation, he slams open the one door that remains closed, Quinn instantly awakening from her sleep.
Quinn jolts from her slumped position on the mattress, her heart pounding when she wakes because of the loud bang of her bedroom door slamming open. "Jordan, what –"
"Why are you doing this?!" Her little brother stands a few feet away from her bed, his face beat red as Quinn tries to wake herself up and clear the fog from her brain. "Why do you hate me?!"
Quinn's voice cracks as she tries to answer. She rubs the sleep from her eyes, forehead crinkled in confusion. "What? What are you talking about?"
"You keep doing this! You keep ruining everything!"
With her lethargic state slowly fading away, Quinn lets out an exasperated, but knowing, sigh. "Jordan, I'm not—"
"Yes. You. Are! You keep doing this! You keep getting in trouble! You keep getting into trouble and they're going to send us away! We aren't going to get to live here anymore, and it's going to be your fault!" Jordan launches himself at his older sister, blinded by the fury and fear of Beca and Chloe's revelation.
Quinn tries to avoid his flying fists but flinches when one comes in brief contact with her cheek. She skillfully captures his wrists in her hands and holding them close to his body. She holds him tightly as Jordan continues to squirm, sobbing in a mixture of anger and pure devastation. It breaks Quinn's heart, but right now, all she can focus on is making sure Jordan doesn't hurt himself.
This doesn't happen often, but it has happened enough times that Rachel's warning of Jordan not being able to "control his emotions" has become a permanent part of the pitch she gives prospective foster parents. This time around, the only reason she can be upset, is because she's caused it.
"What is going –" Beca comes around the corner looking breathless, her eyes widening at the sight of Jordan trying to escape Quinn's hold, his legs flailing wildly. "Jordan!"
Quinn tries to shake her head. "Stop – no – I've got him." She tightens her hold as Beca watches from a safe distance, torn between whether or not to step in. The teen speaks loud enough that, hopefully, it cuts through the chaos that's currently raging through Jordan's mind. "J, you need to…you need to stop."
Another sob rips through the room, Jordan's face scrunched up in agony. He continues to fight Quinn's embrace, but with each passing moment, his legs grow weaker and start to lose the power that was behind the kicking limbs. Slowly, but in what feels like an eternity to Beca standing by watching, waiting to step in if need be, Jordan's movements start to die down. He tries to kick out of Quinn's grasp one last time, but eventually relents, and collapses in her arms, sobs still echoing through the bedroom.
"Shh…J, you're okay. I've got you, J. I've got you." Quinn rocks him back and forth, holding him against her chest with her arms still wrapped tightly around him. "You're safe, Jordan, you're safe."
When Jordan starts to release some of the tension in his body, Quinn readjusts his trembling body, so that she can hold him more effectively. The teen looks over his shoulder, tears collecting in her own eyes as she makes eye contact with Beca. "I know that I'm in trouble, and I know you and Chloe want to talk, but can I please just have a few minutes? Just to calm him down?"
"Of course. Just… yell if you need anything, alright?" Beca shifts from one foot to the other, unsure of what she's just witnessed, but not being able to help herself from seeing her and Macy reflected back at her. "I'll meet you downstairs."
As Beca leaves the bedroom, Quinn never once stopping her soothing motions, the teen can't help but let out a sigh of relief. She presses her lips into the top of Jordan's head, holding back her own sobs. "I'm so sorry, J."
He doesn't respond – he almost never does after these episodes.
She's had a lot of time to think over the last six or so hours – in fact, she didn't fall asleep until six this morning because of how busy her mind has been, filled with thoughts about Izzy, and the kids, and Beca and Chloe, and how the hell she is going to be able to get herself out of this mess. Because that's exactly what this is – it's a mess. In all of the mistakes she's made in her sixteen years, this one has to be one of the biggest. She still has no clue what the repercussions will be. All she knows is, in her foster moms' silence all last night, she knows that they are pissed.
And rightfully so.
As much as she still doesn't agree with them about trying to force her and the kids into their lives. As much as she still doesn't trust them. As much as she still knows they'll be forced to leave at some point (though that may happen sooner than she had previously been expecting), it was never her intention to get into this much trouble. To get Izzy into trouble. To combine those two separate worlds.
And, evidently, to drag her siblings into the mess she created. To potentially get them in trouble, too.
That was never her intention, yet it seems, that's exactly what she did.
It takes a half hour for Jordan to fall asleep, exhausted after the whole ordeal. Quinn never once stops rocking him, whispering murmurs of comfort the entire time he tries to regulate his breathing. By the time he falls asleep, his body has slumped against Quinn's, and it's easy to transfer him to where Quinn had previously been sleeping. She tucks the blankets around him, brushing his hair out of the way, before she heads to the bathroom.
She runs her hands over her face in the mirror once the door is closed behind her. She looks horrible, dressed in the pajamas that she changed into to get the gross smell of the police station off of her. Her hair is pulled up in a haphazard bun, dark bags hanging under her eyes.
Most prominently, there's a red mark from where Jordan's fist collided with her cheek. Quinn lets out a heavy sigh; it's not the worst thing that's ever happened to her – not by a longshot – but she knows that Jordan will hate himself for it once he sees it.
The teen splashes some cold water in her face, doing everything in her power to mentally prepare herself for what she is about to face downstairs.
But she can't stay upstairs forever.
Taking one more calming breath, Quinn leaves the bathroom, and heads down the staircase, taking the corner slowly, and practically stopping mid-step when she sees Beca and Chloe waiting expectantly on the couch.
She gulps at the sight of them, sitting side by side in the middle of the couch, holding hands just like they always are. Quinn's never really taken the time to look at the two of them together; they seem to fit perfectly. Like they were made for each other.
Beca takes a deep breath, calming her own nerves, as she gestures to the armchair across the room from the couch. "Do you want to sit down, Quinn?"
Quinn nods wordlessly, sitting down on the edge of the cushion. She's never sat here before, and certainly not while facing the blank faces of Beca and Chloe. There are no soft smiles, no twinkle in either of their eyes. All that is there, is the overwhelming disappointment that she caused.
Beca runs her thumb over the back of Chloe's hand, never once looking away from the teen. "How is Jordan? That was... has that happened before?"
Quinn lets out a soft sigh of relief. She can do this. She can talk about her siblings. "He's sleeping. That happens sometimes when he's uh… when he gets overwhelmed." Her leg bounces up and down. "Where's Ava?"
Chloe clears her throat, trying to rid the tightness from it. "She's downstairs with Macy and Rosie."
Slowly, Quinn nods, waiting not-so-patiently for the other shoe to drop.
Apparently, Beca must hate the silence as well, because she starts back up again. "Quinn, we need to talk about what happened last night."
Quinn's heart is beating so hard that it hurts. Any sort of response gets caught in her throat, so she nods once more.
Beca runs her free hand through her hair. She hates being a disciplinarian. Always has. Chloe's the same way. It's not fun in the slightest. "We um… We thought we had been clear that, not only were you supposed to only be going to school and coming home for the next couple of weeks, but that this whole sneaking out and going places without telling us, was going to end."
Quinn takes a steadying breath but says nothing.
"Yet, last night, not only did you sneak out, but you got arrested. You went out with your friend, and you got arrested."
The words start to spill from Quinn's lips before she can stop them. "Izzy didn't do any—"
For the first time since she sat down, Chloe looks Quinn in the eye, her voice even yet terse. "No. You do not get to talk right now, Quinn. It's our turn."
Beca glances over at Chloe, handing the reigns over to her as she doesn't waver in breaking her eye contact with Quinn. She knows how upset her wife was last night, and how the majority of that anger hasn't dissipated over the last six hours.
"We don't care whether it was your idea or if it was Izzy's idea. All we care about is that last weekend, you left this house without telling anyone, and besides that, sent your siblings into a tailspin. We had thought – I had thought – that would have been enough for you not to even think about doing anything like that again. Yet, here we are, less than a week later, and you were arrested. Arrested, Quinn. What the hell were you thinking?"
Hearing a swear and just the pure ire in Chloe's words, causes Quinn to blanch. There's something about Chloe's tone that makes this one of the worse conversations she's ever had with a foster parent. Neither of them are screaming or yelling at her, their faces aren't beat red as they berate her for what she did wrong. But the anger and the disappointment is very clearly there, and it cuts through her like a knife, especially considering it is Chloe that is saying all of these things - both spoken and unspoken.
"And you know what, fine, I can understand wanting to see your friend, but what would you have done if the guy who owned the property pressed charges? What would you have done if Lucas hadn't called Beca, and you had to spend the night in a cell somewhere, and we had woken up and you were nowhere to be found? Were you going to be the one to tell Ava and Jordan that you weren't coming home, or were you just going to wait until a court proceeding or a visitation?"
Ouch.
Beca gives Chloe's hand a reassuring squeeze, noting the familiar signs of Chloe's devastation and how her bottom lip is trembling. But she doesn't stop. "We were terrified, Quinn. We were terrified, confused, disappointed. And quite frankly, we don't know where to go from here."
Here it comes. The familiar speech. "We've enjoyed our time with you but it's time to pack your bags, blah, blah, blah." But this time around, it hurts a whole lot more.
Beca meets Quinn's gaze, holding it despite the teen very evidently wanting to look away. "We want this to work, Quinn. We want you to feel safe and comfortable here. We want you to trust us," she shakes her head with a sigh, "and trust me, I know that that isn't an easy thing. We're still practically strangers. We both wish, more than anything, that you didn't have to go through any of the things that you went through that make you feel like you can't trust us. We are willing to wait, Quinn. We want to wait until you're comfortable enough to let us in."
Tears swell in Quinn's eyes, Beca's words echoing in her head. Her brain is jumbled, though, Beca's statement sounding unfamiliar. Like a foreign language.
At Quinn's silence, which Beca was expecting, Chloe allows a few tears to escape. "You understand that what you did last night was wrong, right, Quinn?"
Quinn hesitantly nods, clearing her throat so her voice doesn't sound so strained. It comes out weak instead. "I'm… I'm sorry."
Chloe lets out a shaky sigh, some of the tension leaving her shoulders. It's a start. "Thank you." The redhead sniffles, her and Beca's conversation from last night coming flooding back. "Beca and I, we realized that we've been focusing a lot more on your siblings since you guys moved in, and that was an oversight on our part, so we are sorry for that. That's going to change."
"We don't want you to feel like we're forcing you into our world. That's the last thing we want. So, starting today, we would like to start over, if you'll have us. This is your home, just as much as it is ours. Believe it or not, Quinn, we care about you. We want to work together to make this work."
Quinn's heart clenches. This is so not what she was expecting when she came downstairs for this 'talk.' Most surprisingly, she doesn't think anyone has ever talked to her like this. She's never had anyone beside Izzy and her siblings tell her that they care about her. Especially not when they are supposed to be pissed. She doesn't even know what to say.
"Don't give up on us yet, Quinn." Chloe's voice is timid, as though she's pleading with Quinn to agree.
Quinn blinks hard, flexing her hand and trying to keep her voice steady. There's only one word that seems possible to say. One word that makes sense. "Okay."
It must be the right word to say, though it sounds weird coming from her mouth, because Chloe gives her a faint yet relieved smile. The corner of Beca's mouth quirks upwards as well. Yet Chloe is the only one to talk. "Good."
Beca's heart starts to slow, even though the uncertain look in Quinn's posture makes her uneasy. "That being said, we do need to go over some ground rules so this," she noncommittally waves her hand in the air around her, "doesn't happen again, and so we can start moving forward."
Quinn nods, deciding that her current course of action seems reasonable. "Okay."
Chloe glances over at Beca, knowing that the tone of this conversation is about to change once more. "We do not want to keep you from your life, and we know that Izzy is a big part of that."
Quinn stiffens, eyeing her foster moms carefully.
"But from now on, you will need to ask permission to go see her." Quinn opens her mouth to start to protest, but Chloe holds up a finger and lifts her eyebrow in response. "And you will not be seeing her again until we meet her. We will be as flexible as she needs us to be so that she can come over for dinner, but until we meet her, you will not be spending time with her."
When Chloe finishes, Quinn immediately starts back up. "I have known Izzy since I was seven –"
"This isn't up for discussion, Quinn. We have met all of Rosie's friends, and we would be doing the same thing if this were Ava or Jordan." Beca keeps her voice steady, sensing Quinn's aggravation rising. "We are not prohibiting you from seeing your best friend. We are simply saying that we would like to meet her."
Physically biting her tongue, Quinn stays silent. This is not going to go over well.
Noticing Quinn's unwilling acceptance, Chloe continues. "And your grounding will be extended for two more weeks. School and home. For real this time, because this, absolutely, will not happen again. Do we make ourselves clear?"
The exhaustion hits Quinn like a brick wall. She doesn't have any fight left to give. "Okay."
For the first time in a week, Jordan sits pressed up against Quinn's side on the couch, still dressed in his pajamas from this morning. Ava is on her other side, a few inches separating them so that she can sit next to Rosie, all four kids watching Beca and Chloe from where they're sitting in front of them on the ottoman.
It's been a long day, one filled with a lot of confusion, a lot of tears, and some tense silence. Luckily, Rachel didn't feel the need to come over to the house to talk with Quinn. They had a conversation over the phone, and by the time Jordan woke up in the early afternoon, the events of last night were relatively resolved. That didn't stop him from sobbing as soon as he saw Beca, worried that what Quinn did, combined with what he did, would get them kicked out of the house.
Despite her consolations, he was still on edge for the rest of the day. So, after dinner and after everyone was all washed up, Beca and Chloe gathered the kids on the couch.
Chloe gives them a soft smile, her hand resting on Beca's arm. This is the most relaxed she's felt all day, and now, sitting in front of her four kids, all of them safe and relatively calm, she's at peace. "Okay, so this week has been stressful for all of us, yeah?"
She gets four blank stares in return, a combination of exhaustion and confusion for the little ones.
"It's been stressful, and a little tense, and from here on out, things are going to be so much better."
Beca nods in agreement, focusing intently on Jordan. "We know that it's been scary, and we know that there has been a lot of uncertainty in your lives. We are sorry if we added to that." She glances across the couch, the three Perry siblings looking mildly terrified. "You three are not going anywhere. You belong here, with us. No matter what anyone says, and no matter what anyone does. Nothing you do and nothing that happens will make us want you to leave."
"We're a family. All six of us. That means we can talk to each other about things that we are afraid of. That make us stressed out. We can all make mistakes without the fear of getting in trouble and having that change how the family feels about us. We, Beca and I, we are here for you. Nothing is ever going to change that."
Mustering the brightest smile, she can – because, let's be honest, she's been sleepwalking since eleven o'clock this morning – Beca flicks her eyes from one child to the next. "That means, even when there's yelling, even if someone does something they're maybe not supposed to, you're stuck with us. We are not giving up on any of you. That's a promise."
"But that also means, if there is something that is bothering you – anything at all – you have to tell us so that we can help fix it. You can think it is the smallest thing in the world; we're still going to care. We're still going to work together so that it isn't bothering you anymore." Chloe eyes Quinn, whose gaze is focused on the ground in front of her, her fingers trailing up and down Jordan's arm. "Nothing you tell us, nothing you share with us, is going to make us care about you any less."
Beca softens her voice. "Does that make sense? Does anyone have any questions?"
Quinn looks between her siblings, Jordan watching Beca intently, and Ava seeming unsure. She talked with Jordan when he woke up; apologized about making him so upset. When he told her, through tears, that he didn't want to leave the Mitchell's and that he thinks they're going to have to if Quinn keeps getting in trouble, the teen understood. It's a fear that he's had for a long time, stemming, yes, from the many times she's gotten into trouble – however slight – at her foster homes. But she promised that she would try harder. For both him and Ava.
Rosie swings her legs back and forth against the couch, looking from her moms, to the rest of the kids sitting on the couch. Today's been weird. Auntie M was there all day long, and there was a lot of awkwardness. A lot of tears. It was like no one wanted to talk. Even now. "Can we watch a movie, Mama?"
And just like that, the entire room breaks into laughter. Beca is the first one to crack, and Chloe follows shortly after. Then Ava, and Jordan, and finally, Quinn. It releases some of the tension, which everyone is grateful for.
Hours later, after watching the first How to Train Your Dragon movie, Quinn finds herself laying up in her bedroom, once again wrestling her racing thoughts so that she might be able to get more than a few hours of sleep tonight. Beca and Chloe once again instated an early bedtime, so the house has been quiet for hours. Jordan went down easily, as did the girls, and who knows whether the older Mitchell women are sleeping, but Quinn is wide awake.
Today was a lot. As much as it felt good to have Chloe and Beca say that they weren't going to give up on her, that they wanted her and her siblings in their home, it was slightly overwhelming. She can't help but feel like she's still going to have to change her entire self in order to fit in to whatever picture they have in their head of a perfect family.
Because one thing is for sure. She's not 'perfect family' material.
She's a mess. She comes from a mess. She grew up in a house where her mother was high nine times out of ten. Where she quickly learned how to distinguish between 'they're sleeping' silence, or 'they're out of the house' silence. She grew up with a best friend who came from the same shit show that she did, and the only constant that they had was each other. She grew up having to steal from grocery stores and hope that, maybe, her mom might manage to pay the bills so that they had electricity. She grew up with anxious siblings who can be afraid of their own shadow, and not having anyone that she could talk about her problems to. She grew up keeping every single one of their secrets – from her siblings, to Izzy, to both of their parents – from teachers, and school officials, and social workers, and doctors. She's spent her entire childhood living a double life.
And now here Beca and Chloe are, saying that they want her to trust them. That they want to make this – her single, messy, horrid life – to work.
Quite frankly, she doesn't know how to do that.
She doesn't know how to let people in. She doesn't know how to be vulnerable and share her problems. She's so used to keeping everything in for fear of upsetting someone else. How do they expect her to just flip that switch? Because she doesn't think she can. It's not even because she doesn't want to – it's that she, quite physically, cannot imagine living her true life in the presence of people that aren't her siblings or Izzy.
Quinn runs her hands over her face. She shouldn't be stressing out about this. Wondering how she's going to make Beca and Chloe think she trusts them shouldn't be her number one worry. She should be worried about getting her siblings out of the system. She should be worried about Izzy and whatever is happening with her and Sandy.
Yet the concern is there. Right at the front of her mind. It makes her heart race, just thinking about it all.
Quinn rolls over in her bed, checking the time on the clock. It's only eleven, but she's been lying in bed since eight. Three hours of staring at the ceiling. Three hours of being trapped in her own mind. In any other place, she would get up and go outside. She would go outside, get some fresh air, the sound of the city calming her.
It happened a lot towards the end. When Amanda was getting worse and started working with this guy named Bruce. They were always yelling and arguing; sometimes he would hit her, and she would fight back. They were always high on something, so Quinn tried to keep the kids away from all of that the best she could. They slept in her room every night. On the days that they didn't go to school, they stayed with her and Izzy, too. The only moment of peace she got were the ones where she slipped outside when the kids were sleeping, and Amanda and Bruce were occupied doing the countless of illegal activities that the police would later question them about. It's the only time she could breathe easily; knowing that the kids were safe.
Which is ironic, because it was during one of those moments that the garage exploded.
Quinn still hears the sound clear as day. The whine and whistle of the broken glass. The loudness of it all, and how it made her jump straight up from where she was sitting on what used to be the front steps. She remembers how bright it got and how quickly she felt the heat.
She remembers the pure fear as the fire spread quicker than she ever thought was possible.
Honestly, she hates thinking about the fire. Hates talking about it. Yet, there are days where she can't stop thinking about hearing Jordan and Ava's scream as she ran up the stairs of their house, flames already licking at the walls, and the air thick with smoke. She remembers the two of them sobbing by the time she got into the bedroom, not worrying about any of their belongings as she first grabbed Ava, and then Jordan, lifting them both onto her hips, and begging them not to let go.
By the time they made it back into the hallway, the fire had started eating away at the second floor. It was hotter than Quinn ever could have imagined. She had been panting and sweating like there was no tomorrow, and with Jordan and Ava struggling to breath, she just had to keep pushing forward.
The only thing is, she's isn't quite sure how she got out of the house, as her memory from the rest of that night is completely blank.
She knows she tripped on the bottom stair, and the kids fell down with her. She knows that the bookshelf that was next to the front entryway, the one that had never had a single book in it, ever, fell on top of her when the floor shook – but managed to miss the kids. And she knows that it was Izzy who ran in after her – not any of their other neighbors, but thirteen-year-old Izzy, who pulled her out from under the bookshelf while Ava and Jordan screamed on the front lawn.
She was brought to the hospital, where she stayed for a month, stunning all of the doctors when she didn't end up paralyzed. The kids were sent to a respite placement two blocks away from the hospital, where the foster parents agreed to bring them to visit Quinn every afternoon after she had had her treatments for the day (she heard Rachel talking to her doctors at one point, all of whom made the social worker promise to bring the kids by in order to "keep her moral up"). Amanda and Bruce died as soon as the explosion happened.
So, yeah, not a good memory. At all.
Quinn pushes her covers off her body, knowing her mind isn't going to calm down any time soon. She slips on her sweatshirt, the scars being extra painful right now with the reminder of how she got them, before creeping out of her bedroom.
She hears the television before she sees anyone sitting in front of it, walking down the stairs and carefully avoiding the few that she's discovered that creak over the last few weeks. When she gets to the bottom floor, she starts to move to the kitchen, but stops cold when she sees Beca sitting up on the couch, Chloe sleeping beside her.
"I promise I'm not leaving. I was just getting some water."
Even in the darkness of the living room, Quinn sees Beca smirk as she whispers, "I believe you."
The brunette, who had planned on sleeping downstairs for precisely this reason (though she was more worried that Quinn would actually leave again), carefully peels herself from Chloe's hold. She carefully lays the blanket back over her wife, before joining Quinn in the hallway and guiding her to the kitchen.
Quinn takes a hesitant seat at the counter, hoping that her face isn't as pale as it feels, as Beca starts to fill two glasses with water. "Can't sleep?"
The teen shakes her head, taking the glass carefully and never once lifting her eyes from the granite. She knows that Beca is harmless in her actions; but who knows what she's going to want to try talking about. "Not really… my mind is kind of all over the place."
"Yeah, I know what you mean." She pauses, taking a sip of her own water, and observing Quinn carefully. There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with the younger brunette; save for the fact that she still looks tense, perhaps a little on edge, and like she hasn't slept in days. "Anything you want to talk about?"
Quinn grimaces sheepishly, meeting Beca's eyes for the first time. "Not really. Sorry."
Beca waves off her concern. "Don't be sorry. Nighttime thoughts are tough. They're usually the ones that you don't want to share with people."
Yeah, no kidding.
"Is that why you were up?" The question slips past Quinn's lips before she can stop it, but for some reason, her heart has slowed it's pace sitting here in Beca's company, and she can't say she doesn't like it.
Beca teeters her head back and forth. "Sort of. I've just been thinking. And waiting. I figured one of you three would be up at some point. Chloe tried waiting but she was out ten minutes into an episode of Grey's."
Quinn fights the blush that starts to rise at the fact that Beca knew, deep down, that either she or her siblings would be awake. It's amazing how much they've picked up on just a month and a half in to the them living at the house. "Grey's Anatomy? Isn't that the show about the doctors?"
"Yeah, it's sort of our comfort show. Even though Stacie reminds us every time we bring it up how inaccurate it is."
Quinn's eyebrow quirks upward. "Doesn't everyone die?"
If the rest of the house hadn't been sleeping, Quinn is sure that Beca's laugh would have been far louder than it is. She tries to stifle it, but that doesn't exactly work. "Pretty much. I don't know, though, it has a lot of good memories. When Chloe first moved in with Macy and me, we started watching it together on Netflix, and then when we had caught up, we would watch it every Thursday night when the new episode premiered."
They really did spend a lot of great nights that way, all curled up on the couch together; Macy in the middle with Beca and Chloe playing with each other's hands behind her head.
But instead of focusing on what good memories may be associated with the show, Quinn once again gets caught up in wondering how Beca managed to raise her little sister, on her own, and still end up with this amazing life. "You really adopted Macy? Like you're listed as her mom on her birth certificate?"
Beca places her glass down on the counter, hoisting herself up so she can lean against the cabinets. "Well, I petitioned the court for guardianship of her, which is slightly different. So no, her birth certificate didn't change, but I am listed on all of the official paperwork and everything as her legal guardian."
"That's um… that's really cool. I don't think I ever would be able to do that."
"It wasn't the original plan, but I couldn't be happier with how it turned out."
"Why wasn't it the original plan?"
Sighing slightly, Beca mulls over her next words in her head. "Well, we were hoping to get adopted into a family. But one thing led to another and we realized that wasn't exactly in the cards."
Interest piqued, Quinn can't stop herself from asking, "why wasn't it in the cards?"
Beca watches her foster daughter carefully, and seeing only pure curiosity, treads lightly. "I got older, and I'm sure you know how different it is being in foster care as an older kid than it is being younger. We were in a couple of not so great homes, I was in the hospital a few times and Macy went through a couple of things… by the time we were at our last home, I was seventeen and both of us, plus our social worker, had pretty much resigned ourselves to the fact that we wouldn't be getting adopted. I had been working for the last year or so, so I could save up for when I aged out and getting custody of Macy had just always been a part of that plan. One thing led to another and we were our own little family."
"Plus, Chloe."
Beca smiles fondly, this time the blush flooding her cheeks as though she's sharing a big secret and not talking about the person she's been married to for over a decade. "Yeah, plus Chloe. She was the person that the guidance counselor at the last high school I attended, assigned to me to show me around. Talk about fate."
"It's cool that you guys have been together for so long."
The older brunette nods, glancing into the living room where the love of her life is still sleeping soundly under the faint glow of the television. "It wasn't always like that."
Quinn freezes. "What do you mean?"
Beca fiddles with her wedding ring, thinking back all those years ago to that first day at Barden High. How she was so stressed because it was only the second day after getting Macy back, and both of them were terrified that they would be separated again. How she had seen Chloe and forgot how to breathe for a moment but had pushed every single thought about the beautiful redhead standing in front of her, out of her mind. Honestly, Beca sometimes questions why Chloe stuck around. It isn't like she made it easy for her. As cheesy as it is, it's just a testament about how it was meant to be.
Taking a deep breath, Beca makes her way around the counter to sit in the stool next to Quinn. She brings one knee into her chest, folding her hands on top of it. "You remind me a lot of myself when I was younger, Quinn." The woman grimaces as soon as the words are out of her mouth. "Oh God I would have been so annoyed if anyone ever said that to me… please, just forget that that came out of my mouth."
Despite the content of the statement, which, yes, Quinn finds incredibly embarrassing and slightly annoying, she chuckles, and allows Beca to continue.
"I used to think I had to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. After my parents died, it was always just me and Macy, and Macy… she needed me a whole lot more than a typical sister relationship. To tell you the truth, when I see you with Ava and Jordan, and how patient and gentle you are with them, sometimes I feel like I'm watching the two of us when she was younger."
Beca shakes her head as though trying to physically switch the course of the conversation back on track. "Anyways, I didn't let anyone in. I didn't talk to my foster parents, I didn't talk to my teachers, or my social worker; I didn't really have any friends, and I certainly didn't tell Macy about what was going on inside my head – so trust me when I tell you that I get what you are going through. I get how big of a thing asking for your trust is, and believe me, I know we have a long way to go to earning it, but I do understand, to some degree, what you are struggling with right now."
"But I was alone for the majority of the time I was in foster care. I didn't tell anyone anything and I thought I could handle it all on my own." Her wedding ring catches her eye once more, and Beca feels the subconscious grin spread across her lips, just as it always does at the faintest reminder of her wife. "When I met Chloe, Macy and I had just come out of a pretty bad situation. It changed the both of us, and we were struggling, not that I would have admitted it then, of course. I had wanted to take care of Macy, take all of her pain away, yet that I meant I was completely neglecting my own. I tried pushing Chloe away because of that. Multiple times."
As Quinn clings to Beca's words, listening more intently to her than she has ever listened to a foster parent before, she can't help but interject. "I assume she didn't let you get away that easily?"
Another laugh breaks through, Beca shaking her head. "Not at all. She stuck around until I was confident that I could trust her. She stood by my side through that entire year, and I know, without a doubt, that I would not be where I am today, without her."
Quinn gives her a small smile. It's obvious how much the two women care about each other, and how that love has spread from just their relationship, to their entire family.
"I know you're in a different situation. I know that we are your foster parents and you have absolutely zero reason to trust us, or even like us – you've had enough people stab you in the back to have every right to feel that way. I get it. But what I also get, is that that head of yours," she takes a deep breath, searching for the right thing to say. "I know that head of yours is so full, love. I can only imagine what is going on up there, but I can tell you, without a doubt, that it will feel so much easier to sift through, if you let people in and allow them to help you."
With tears pricking at the corner of her eyes, Quinn gulps. She can't even deny it. Hell yeah her mind is full. Half the time she can't even form a coherent thought because of everything running through her brain. But she's never had someone put it into words for her before.
"I know that it can be so scary to let people in, but doing that, is one of the absolute bravest things that you can do, and you will feel so much better once you do."
Quinn shifts her gaze downwards, praying that her face doesn't give her away.
"And I'm not saying that you have to spill every secret of your short, sixteen years. And I'm definitely not saying that you have to say anything right now, or even to me. But if you do want to talk to someone, both Chloe and I are here. We're here for it all – the good, the bad, the ugly. Whatever you want to share, we will be there for you. That's a promise, and it's never going to change."
For some reason, for some strange, strange reason that Quinn can't even explain, she is inclined to believe her.
When I started planning out this fic, I sort of divided it into two parts, so this is the end of Part One! I hope you all enjoyed the chapter, and I look forward to hearing any thoughts/comments/questions/predictions that you have if you want to share :)
I'm going to try my best to get the next chapter up on Wednesday, but it might be closer to Friday because it is officially finals season :( So please bear with me for the next week and a half. Anyways, thanks again for reading, and I will see you next week!