Chapter 11

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder...

Donna sat quietly and awkwardly in her chair. She had mixed emotions at that moment; however, the most prevalent one was nervousness, closely followed by anger. The former because she had no idea how to handle this situation and, while she wouldn't admit it, was a little scared and intimidated by it. On the other hand, she also felt a great deal of anger towards Polybius as she wished he wouldn't have told anyone. She hated the idea of more people knowing that she wasn't as strong and powerful as she liked to portray herself as. She only felt comfortable exposing her weaker and more vulnerable side to a select group of people, and Dinah was not one of them.

Glancing up for a moment, Donna looked at Dinah was finishing her prep. She had gotten a clipboard, paper, and a pen on their way here. She had locked the door behind the two of them to avoid having wandering eyes and ears drop by the room and hear and see things they really didn't need to.

"Alright." Dinah started, "Are you comfortable?"

"No." Donna quietly and quickly answered.

"Is there anything I can do to make you comfortable?" Dinah asked.

"I don't know." Donna answered, maintaining her quiet tone, "Maybe not do this."

"Donna, it's alright." Dinah said, "I know just how hard and difficult asking for help can be."

"I didn't ask for this." Donna countered.

"I know." Dinah said, "And I know you're upset with Polybius."

"Upset?" Donna asked, her tone now picking up anger as she clenched her fists, "Try furious!"

"Because he told me?" Dinah asked.

"Yes!" Donna answered.

"And why do you not like that he told me?" Dinah followed up.

"Because-" Donna started but cut herself off as she didn't want to reveal too much information about herself and her situation.

"Because you don't want me to see you as weak?" Dinah asked.

"That's part of it!" Donna admitted, "It's just- ugh! Why did he have to tell you!?"

"Because he's worried about you." Dinah answered.

"I know he is!" Donna said, "He always is! But he's always been able to help me before! Why bring you in now!? It's just nightmares! I've had these before, and they'll go away!"

"Polybius told me this is a recurring issue." Dinah pointed out.

"They come and go like day and night." Donna explained, "And if I ever feel bad, I just call him, and he always knows what to say."

"So you're dependent on him?" Dinah asked but phrased it more as a statement.

"No!" Donna countered, "Maybe… I don't know."

"Well then, let's do a little thought exercise." Dinah started.

"Okay." Donna said.

"Let's say, just for the sake of this scenario, Polybius dies right now." Dinah said.

"What!?" Donna asked, shocked to hear that, "How?"

"The 'how' is not important." Dinah said, "What is important is you are still having these nightmares, but this time, you don't have Polybius to turn to. What would you do?"

"I… I don't know what I would do." Donna admitted, all of the anger vanishing from her tone, "I really don't know."

"And that's Polybius's point." Dinah started.

"What?" Donna asked, confused about where this was going, "I don't understand."

"As we both know, in the recent attack on Mount Justice, Polybius nearly died from blood loss. What he's trying to get at is he isn't always going to be around for you when you need him. He acknowledges the fact that he is going to die someday and leave you alone. And what he's afraid of happening is that when he is gone, you'll go off the deep end and end up hurting yourself or others, or may even try to commit suicide."

Donna sat in silence as she listened to Dinah speak. The words were undoubtedly hitting her hard, and she quickly found herself fighting tears.

"What Polybius wants you to do is to roll off of your dependence on him and get more comfortable opening up to others. However, he knows that you won't do it on your own and decided to take the initiative and start it for you." Dinah explained.

Donna looked down at the ground and didn't say anything.

"That's what Polybius was trying to tell you." Dinah added, "However, you weren't listening to him. But I know he is thrilled that you decided to at least listen and talk to me, and it's okay that you are upset with him."

Dinah then leaned forward and put a hand on Donna's knee in an attempt to comfort her. Donna didn't initially react to this as she wanted to curl up in a ball and die at that moment. She desperately wanted to escape the situation she was in, but something was keeping her in place. She didn't know what, but there was something inside her that was keeping her planted in her seat at that moment.

"So please, talk to me." Dinah begged, "You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. And not a word of what we say will leave this room, and will stay between us."

Donna didn't respond immediately as she thought about whether or not to open up. On the one hand, she didn't want to reveal her weakness to anyone. She wanted to keep it all to herself. On the other hand, however, she knew that Polybius was right. She knew that he only wanted what was best for her and had always acted in a way that achieved the best results.

And the more she thought about it, the more she realized she had trusted his judgment for years, and he had never been wrong or hurt her before. Then she wondered why she was ignoring him now? And if this is what Polybius believed was best for her, then she too would go along with it.

"Everything stays between us?" Donna asked.

"Just us." Dinah assured her, "The only reason I will say anything to anyone else is if you have thoughts of hurting yourself or others."

"I understand." Donna said, now looking up at Dinah, "Polybius has always been right so far and has never led me astray so far. It'd be stupid of me to ignore him now."

Dinah smiled at the young heroine and leaned back in her chair.

"So, where would you like to start?" Dinah asked.

"Where to start is an excellent question." Donna said, "There's so much."

"Then let's start with what's the most pressing issue is right now." Dinah said, "Your recurring nightmares."

"Those." Donna said, not happy about talking about them.

"Remember, nothing leaves us." Dinah assured her.

Donna took a deep breath to calm her nerves before she began speaking.

"All of them are about what Polybius called 'the trials.'" Donna started.

"Polybius hasn't told me much about them." Dinah said, "However, he did say that they were a really rough time."

"That's an understatement." Donna said, "Those were the worst six months of my life."

"And in your nightmares, are you reliving them?" Dinah asked.

"Yes." Donna admitted, "I can remember much of it like it happened yesterday. I swear, if it hadn't been for Polybius, I wouldn't have survived."

"And when you remember these 'trials,' do they pop up randomly during the day as well?" Dinah asked, "As in, you're just doing something, and something happens, and you have a flashback or an intrusive memory?"

"The latter." Donna said, "I've got to be careful of what I watch on TV because it can cause those memories to come up."

"And when these memories pop up, what do you do?" Dinah asked.

"I try to remove myself from the situation." Donna explained, "Like one time, I was with Diana at a movie, and a scene came up not too long after we got back from the 'trials.' There was a scene in that movie that just got me going really bad. I used the excuse of having the need to use the restroom, but I never went back to the movie."

"What did you do?" Dinah asked.

"I hid away in one of the stalls." Donna said, "I locked myself in, and…"

Donna trailed off as she thought about that night. To her, it felt like someone was plunging a knife through her lower abdomen just thinking about it. She moved a hand to where she was feeling it, and Dinah noted this.

"And?" Dinah asked, trying to get her to open up.

"I… I cried." Donna admitted, tears now starting to escape and run down her face, "I remember I cried for at least fifteen minutes before I finally decided to try and call Polybius."

Donna wiped the tears away from her face as she felt a spike of anger surge through her.

"Why am I like this!?" Donna asked herself, "Why am I so weak!? Why did I allow any of that to happen to me!?"

"Donna, it's alright." Dinah assured her, "You're not weak. You are a very strong young woman."

"That's what Polybius tells me." Donna said, "Now I see where he gets it from."

"Because he's right." Dinah said, "Donna, I don't know what you've been through, but for the bits and pieces I've gathered between you and Polybius, I know it was rough. And for you to have pulled through that and gotten so much better is amazing! And that's an understatement."

"But why do I feel weak?" Donna asked.

"Does it have to do with the fact that you're an Amazon?" Dinah asked.

"What does me being an Amazon have to do with anything?" Donna asked.

"From what Diana has shared with me, Amazons are a proud and prideful people. They like to see themselves as independent and self-reliant, and don't need help from others, especially men." Dinah explained, "Do you feel like you're not fulfilling this?"

"I never was." Donna said, "I mean, look at me! I'm so weak that if I lose Polybius, a man, that's it for me. I'm supposed to be a strong, independent woman who doesn't need a man. But here I am, totally reliant on one. I am the biggest disappointment to the Amazon nation to ever disgrace them."

"You are no disappointment." Dinah assured her, "Look at yourself! You've taken up one of the most noble causes you can possibly take up."

"I know." Donna said.

"And I don't see how you could be disappointing at all with that." Dinah added.

"Well… That's not all." Donna admitted, "There are… other reasons why I- I don't feel like an Amazon."

A visible wave of nervousness washed over her, and Dinah could see the pain in her eyes. Donna was clearly on the verge of breaking down, but also providing a possible breakthrough.

"No." Donna spoke up, "I don't want to talk about that!"

"That's fine." Dinah assured her, "You don't have to talk about anything you don't want to."

"I can't." Donna kept going, "I can't talk about that."

Donna wiped away another tear from her face as Dinah jotted down some notes. When Dinah looked up, she was surprised to see that Donna was silently sobbing. She tried to hide her face from Dinah with her hands and had turned away.

This prompted Dinah to stand up and move to comfort her by putting an arm around her.

"Hey, it's alright." Dinah assured her, "You're safe, and there's no shame in crying. Let it all out."

As Donna cried and Dinah comforted her meanwhile, Polybius was left alone in his room, twiddling his thumbs as he had quickly grown tired of staring at his phone screen. He didn't worry about the conversation his mother and best friend were having as he trusted his mother to get through to Donna. He expected that if Donna opened up, she could finally get the real help she needed.

What Polybius was not expecting, however, was a knock at his door so soon after they left.

"Come in!" Polybius shouted.

When the door opened, Polybius was taken off guard when he saw Diana. He didn't expect her, and it was not like her to drop in unannounced.

"Hello Polybius." Diana greeted.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Polybius returned in a happy tone, "How can I help you?"

"I was looking for Donna." Diana said, "I was hoping to talk to her about something I've been meaning to talk to her about for a while now."

Polybius then realized what he had to do.

"Oh, well, she's currently out right now." Polybius half lied.

"Out?" Diana asked.

"Oh, I asked for some food!" Polybius lied, "So she went to go pick some up."

"Do you know where she went?" Diana asked.

"Nope." Polybius answered, lying again, "But she will come back here sooner or later."

"Alright." Diana said, "I guess it can wait. It's not all that important, after all."

"Oh good." Polybius said, "She's, well, she's had a rough day."

"Oh?" Diana questioned.

"Yeah." Polybius said, "Not sure why, I suppose it's just one of those days, you know."

"I know." Diana assured him, "Well, I hope she feels better soon. I'd hate to see her get upset."

"You and me both." Polybius agreed.

"Well, I had better get going." Diana said.

"Aw!" Polybius groaned, "Leaving me already!"

"You want me to stay?" Diana asked.

"Well you never visit me anymore!" Polybius accused.

"Well I'm sorry I'm so busy." Diana said, "You know I would if I had more time."

"Sure…" Polybius brushed off, "You're just mad because of how good I got you on your birthday!"

What had long ago started as an accident had now turned into a full-blown, albeit playful, prank war between the two. Nobody was really sure how Polybius managed to do it, but somehow, he could bring out the playful and somewhat naughty side of Diana like no one else. The two had an incredibly unique and special friendship that was always full of laughs. Polybius even made Steve Trevor a tad bit jealous with just how hard he could make Diana laugh.

"I've still gotta get you for that one, don't I?" Diana asked.

"Burh, I don't think you can top it!" Polybius countered.

On Diana's last birthday earlier in the year, Polybius hired nine male strippers to dress up in Wonder Woman costumes and pay her a private surprise visit. Needless to say, Diana got very angry and even more embarrassed. Not only that, but he also got the whole thing on camera, which made it so much better.

"Gosh, I don't think I've ever seen you get more embarrassed by something than that!" Polybius laughed.

What made it even better was that Polybius also bought himself a Wonder Woman costume, dressed up in it, and danced with the strippers to top it off. And, of course, he made sure to get very close to Diana during their surprise dance/stripping raid.

"Your face was redder as your fucking uniform." Polybius laughed at the memory.

"By the gods, you're lucky I like you so much." Diana warned, also letting out a small laugh, "Had that come from just about anyone else, they'd be dead. But you… I honestly expect nothing less."

"Good!" Polybius laughed.

"But you're still horrible for doing that!" Diana added.

"It was so worth it!" Polybius said, "Best five hundred bucks I've ever spent!"

"Oh yeah, well, you just wait." Diana warned, "I've got something even worse in store for you."

"Well, at least don't kick me while I'm down." Polybius asked, "Wait until I'm at least moving around on my own first."

"Of course." Diana said, "Wouldn't be much fun if I didn't get to see you run away."

"Like the freaking rat, I am?" Polybius asked.

"Yes." Diana agreed.

As the two shared laughs, meanwhile, Dinah was finally reeling Donna back in from her cry. Donna was finally able to pull herself together and wipe away the last of her tears.

"Do you want to continue?" Dinah asked.

"Y- Yes." Donna muttered.

"Alright." Dinah said, "If this gets too hard, or you want to stop, just let me know, okay?"

"Okay." Donna replied.

"Alright." Dinah said as she took her seat across from Donna, "So, you have recurring nightmares, feel extremely guilty, and have very negative beliefs about yourself… That sounds like you have PTSD."

"PTSD?" Donna questioned.

"Post Traumatic Stress Disorder." Dinah explained, "It's actually quite common in the hero world as a lot of the things we see and go through, if not treated properly, can turn into PTSD."

"Can it go away?" Donna asked.

"Sorta, but it requires therapy." Dinah said, "We have a couple different options as to how we can approach it."

"Okay." Donna said, "What are they?"

"Well, the first option we have is Cognitive Processing Therapy." Dinah started, "What we'll do is, once a week, we'll sit down for sixty to ninety minutes, and you'll talk about your experiences and how it's affected you. From there, we'll discuss ways you can learn to live both with and around it."

"Okay…" Donna replied, not really a huge fan of that, "What else?"

"Another option we have is Prolonged Exposure Therapy." Dinah explained, "Since it seems that you tend to avoid things that remind you of those traumatic events, what we'll do is start by having you make a list of all of the things you avoid. From there, we will slowly work on exposing you to them, during which I'll teach you breathing techniques, as well as other methods to control your anxiety while facing them."

"Alright." Donna said, "I'm sorry, but I'm not sure how comfortable I am talking about what happened."

"That's alright." Dinah assured her, "If you don't want to talk about it, we can also try Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. In this, you don't have to tell me what happened. Instead, what you'll do is you'll think about the traumatic event and then try and force yourself to focus on what I'm doing, with the ultimate end goal being for you to teach yourself how to bring out positive thoughts while you're dealing with these negative thoughts."

"Okay…" Donna said, "Is there anything else?"

"Well, another option is Stress Inoculation Training." Dinah explained, "Here, you don't have to go into detail about what happened. Instead, it's more focused on changing the way you deal with the stress from those situations. This one is also focused on teaching different techniques on how to deal with the stress, like breathing techniques. You could even do this one by yourself."

"Alright." Donna said.

"One method that I personally like is Brief Eclectic Psychotherapy." Dinah explained, "In this one, it's centered around relaxation skills, as well as reframing your negative thoughts. While it is only intended for one event, I've modified it a little to help deal with more than one event if that's what you need. And while in this one, you will be asked to talk about it, and I'll have you bring in things that remind you of it. On top of that, you'll also write letters to whomever you think is responsible, aside from yourself, for the cause of the trauma. However, my favorite part of not only this one, but all the PTSD treatment I assist with is at the end, where you'll hold a little farewell ritual and say goodbye to the trauma forever!"

Instead of verbally responding, Donna let out a long sigh. She thought about what Dinah had proposed to her before she said anything.

"I don't know." Donna stated.

"I know that was a lot of information to swallow." Dinah said, "But I promise you, we can get through it. We can have weekly sessions where it can be you and me, or you, me and Polybius, or you and Polybius, or just you. We can do whatever makes you comfortable and get you through this."

"Thank you." Donna said, "But I need some time to think about this."

"That's alright." Dinah said as she tore off a piece of paper and wrote down her cellphone number, "Here."

Donna took the paper and examined it.

"That's my work phone." Dinah explained, "If you ever need to call or text me at any time, go ahead. I will try to answer as fast as I can."

"Thank you." Donna repeated as she plugged the number into her phone.

"It's not a problem." Dinah assured her with a smile, "It's what I do."

With that, the two finished up their therapy session. Donna decided to go wash her face first to get rid of the tear trails that were on her face to try and hide the fact she had just balled her eyes out.

As she did this, she thought about what Polybius was doing for her. As much as she didn't want to admit it, she knew he was right. She was incredibly dependent on him and needed to learn how to deal with this without him. She knew that she couldn't keep going on like she had been.

However, what troubled her the most was thinking about what she would have done if Polybius had been killed. She knew it would have been the likely end of her, and she would not have recovered from it. It would have likely ended up in her either committing suicide or getting caught trying to do so because she had no idea how to deal with her negative thoughts independently.

Forcing herself to push that aside, she decided that she needed to both consult, but more importantly, apologize to Polybius.

Walking down the hall, she found Polybius alone in his room.

"Donna!" Polybius happily greeted her when he saw her as he always did, "How's my favorite person in the world!?"

"I'm fine." Donna lied as she closed the door behind herself, "Look, Polybius, I want to apologize for earlier."

"It's alright." Polybius waved off.

"Wait." Donna said, "You're not mad?"

"I never was." Polybius said, "I just want what's best for you. Even if you don't like it."

"Thank you, Polybius." Donna said, "You're always looking out for me. Worrying about me. It's reassuring to know that someone cares this much."

"A lot of people do!" Polybius said, "I mean, shoot! Diana dropped by earlier looking for you!"

"She did!?" Donna asked, surprised to hear that.

"She did." Polybius confirmed, "Now don't worry. I lied to her and told her that you were getting me food and that I had no idea when you'd be back. She has no idea of what you were doing or what's going on because I know she's one of the last people you want to know about this."

"Thanks." Donna said.

"Don't mention it!" Polybius said, "You just focus on getting better."

"Yeah." Donna said, "Dinah gave me a lot to consider."

"About your PTSD?" Polybius asked.

"What!?" Donna asked, "How did you know!? Did she tell you!?"

"I've known you've been dealing with PTSD for a long time." Polybius explained, "She didn't tell me anything about what you two discussed. Hell, I haven't even seen her since you two left."

"Okay." Donna said with a sigh of relief.

"I also dealt with Kid Flirt for you." Polybius said, "He's been told not to get flirty with you, and that if he did, I was gonna beat his ass."

"How?" Donna asked, "You can't even leave your bed right now?"

"I can freaking crawl!" Polybius countered, "And I'll sneak up on him when he's least expecting it! Come up behind him with a baseball bat, and BAM! Hit him in the back of the head!"

"Well, I'd doubt you'd catch him." Donna said.

"He may be physically fast, but his mind certainly doesn't keep up." Polybius pointed out, "And that's how I'll get him. Just outsmart him easily!

"If you say so." Donna said.

"I know so." Polybius said, "But regardless, you focus on you. I won't be able to rest at peace until you get better, Donna."

"I will." Donna said, "I might have you join me in my therapy sessions as a support person."

"That's fine." Polybius said, "I'll do whatever you want to help you get better. If you want me there, great! If not, also great! If you want me there for part of it, still great! Just say the word!"

"Thank you, Polybius." Donna said, "I'm fortunate to have you."

"You right!" Polybius agreed.

And there you have it! Chapter 11! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, don't be afraid to let me know what you think, and as always have a good one!

Also! Please! If you or someone you know is having any problems with PTSD, or any other mental illness for that matter, please seek help! There are a lot of people out there who are willing to help you, all you have to do is say the word.