The feedback I am getting for this story is amazing! I can't thank you all enough.
It's super cute that you're all getting into it as much as I am as well, espsecially now that the Cullen's have made an appearance
So let's see what exactly Paul has to say for himself...
I'm starting to become annoyed at the number of workdays I spend feeling stressed and nervous, for one reason or another.
Todays reason? The impromptu lunch I had, for some unknown reason, scheduled with Paul. Those nerves certainly didn't lessen over time. Oh no, if anything I would say that they had reached their crescendo nicely as I pulled up outside the coffee shop, seeing he was already there waiting.
Bloody brilliant – I had at least hoped to be the first one to arrive.
Well…here goes nothing.
"Hi" I approached the large man shyly, not entirely sure what kind of mood I was going to catch him in. After all, he had gone from being chatty and attentive during the movie day, to protective and a little rude when he ran into Justin and me. I dread to think of his reaction had I actually decided to go out with the kind teacher. Hitting the roof may be an accurate statement.
I still don't understand how or why he acts this way. Hot and cold is so not for me, and yet somehow I still keep giving him these chances to sort himself out.
At this point I can't even blame the bond. I have come to realise that I like Paul as a person… the way he is when he is in a good mood, anyway. The snappy, brooding version I'm not such a fan of, but even then, I can't ignore the butterflies that are present in my stomach every time I see him. Nor can I ignore the near permanent smile etched onto my face the second he's around.
But none of that matters when I still can't trust him to be there for me when it matters. To not get annoyed and stay in control of himself when I need him most.
"Hey" thankfully he seemed to be in a good mood today, leant casually on his truck as he greeted me, a small smile on his face "how are you?"
"I'm good thank you, glad that I only have a couple of days before the weekend of course. How are you?" I answered him politely, the thought that he could suddenly switch back to being cold invading my thoughts. Clearly he could sense my apprehension, from my tone of voice or body language I'm not sure, but his face softened further. As though trying to put me at ease without actually touching me.
"Yeah I'm all good. I'm with you there though, I have the entire weekend off which is heaven"
"No patrol?" I asked curiously
"Nope, Sam has given me time off…provided no leeches decide to visit, that is" he pushed off his truck put made no effort to move, clearly waiting for me to walk into the coffee shop. I did so after only a moments hesitation, glad to be getting out of the cold. There's a biting wind today, making me glad that I had chosen to wear my black trench coat, tied at the waist to emphasise my figure. Underneath I wore a deep red pencil dress, also belted at the waist, paired with tights and heeled ankle boots. Winter wear is the best.
Second only to maybe my bikini selection, which are currently sat in my wardrobe, ready to be broken out at the earliest possible opportunity.
"What do you fancy? My shout for dragging you down here on your lunch break" Paul broke the silence as we entered the cosy coffee shop, the warmth immediately doing wonders to my mood, the smell of freshly brewed coffee and baked cake invading my senses.
"I'll just have a coffee" I supplied, deciding that would be the easiest thing to keep down. Truthfully, I'm so nervous that the thought of anything was not a pleasant one, but I'd do it to be polite. He had asked to meet me and then insisted on paying, after all.
"Is that all?" he looked oddly concerned
"Yeah, I'm not hungry"
He looked doubtful, turning and ordering two coffees and two pieces of what looked like amazing chocolate cake. I raised my eyebrow at him as he turned back to me, a smirk on his face.
"You need food, and that's the only thing here I know for a fact you like" he said, sounding almost frustrated that he didn't know much at all about me.
This made me smile, having never considered how thoughtful he can be – even if it does mean cake for lunch. Then again who am I kidding, that sounds amazing!
"Well, thank you. And for future reference, I am really not fussy, so anything will do"
He seemed pleased with this bit of information, turning to pay for what he had ordered before taking the tray now containing the coffee and cake, striding to the back of the café. I followed wordlessly, my heels clicking against the ground as I struggled to keep pace. He does take terrifically long strides, after all.
We reached the table and I took my coat off, hanging it on the back of the chair. I noticed that Paul had already unloaded everything from the tray but was still stood staring at me, as though waiting for me to take a seat. I did so without meeting his eye, relieved that he immediately moved to the other side of the small table.
Neither of us spoke for a moment, the silence painfully heavy, before Paul cleared his throat.
"Look…I need to come clean" he said somewhat awkwardly, stirring the coffee which sat in front of him with more force than necessary "about why I have been acting, like I have"
"Oh?" I felt one of my eyebrows rise as I wrapped my hands around my own coffee mug, suddenly glad that Paul had chosen a comfortable table in the corner, far away from any prying eyes. This was not the way I anticipated this meeting going, at all.
"Yeah. I just want to apologise"
I didn't say anything to interrupt him, instead waiting patiently as he took an uncharacteristically deep breath, brown eyes locking onto mine, so many conflicting emotions circling in their depths. The sheer intensity made me automatically straighten in my chair.
"The way that I have been treating you has been…well, shitty. I know that you aren't exactly on board with the imprinting idea, but you at least tried to be my friend. And a lot of the time, I didn't extend the same courtesy towards you"
"You were never rude to me, as such" I felt as though I had to console him, a deep pull in my chest making me itch to help him in any way I could. This is different though, not some kind of innate bond. Instead, it felt like me…It felt, real.
"Of course I was, hot and cold doesn't cut it" he swallowed heavily "but what I'm trying to say is that I do care about you. A lot. And it's not just because of the bond, either. I have tried so hard to push that away, after all. But the more I get to know you, the more I open myself up to you. The more I want to be around you."
I felt the startled look cross my face, leaning onto the back of my chair with a light huff. After everything, this brand-new side of Paul, the tender and considerate one, I'm not sure how to take it.
I mean, what made him suddenly change his mind? Can I even trust this?
And I suppose that's something he needs to be aware of.
"How do I know you mean that?" I asked, finally getting to voice my agitated thoughts "How do I know you're not going to shut me out or get mad?"
"Because I have given up trying to stay away from you. I wish I could tell you how big an impact you have on me, how I feel like a completely different man the second you're around. Trying to shut you out is the biggest mistake I have ever made" he was so deadly serious, looking at me with such intensity I felt as though I was burning.
It was a fire which consumed me head to toe, all the way through to my fingertips, which still grasped my cup of coffee.
I mean what am I supposed to do with that information? The nicest and most romantic statement which has ever been made to me. One which I want to grab hold of with both hands and never let go. And yet, there is something holding me back from all of that. The insecurity which persisted in the back of my mind, that this was just another warm patch in our unpredictable friendship.
That tomorrow, he would be back to snapping at me and refusing to so much as talk.
This isn't a worry which is simply going to go away.
"I want to work towards it" I eventually settled on "but I can't just bounce back and pretend like everything is completely okay. I need to know that I can trust you"
The flash of hurt in his eyes physically pained me, like a sharp stab to the stomach, leaving me winded. Absentmindedly I wondered if this was fully my own reaction, or whether my words have had a profound effect on Paul. The bond does exist after all, for all I know I could have caused that.
The thought alone made me ache.
"Yeah…of course. I understand that" his voice suddenly filled with determination, such a contrast to his previous soft tones "In fact, what are you doing Saturday? I think taking you out would be a good start. Because I promise you, I'm going to earn your trust"
I almost accepted straight away, a smile taking over my face as I realised that he could mean it. He could actually want to put the past behind us and build upon what could be the best friendship, or even something more.
And then, I remembered – Saturday is the 15th, and I have plans.
"I'm sorry, I can't. I'm busy"
"With that guy?" he hard edge in his voice was back almost immediately, making me automatically cringe back. He immediately apologised, his entire body slumping, as though disappointed in himself.
"No, I turned Justin down. Wasn't interested" I stated truthfully, trying my best to ignore the jump my heart gave when he smiled at me "I'm going out with Jamie and Sam – they're two friends from work"
"Jamie was at the party" Paul nodded, before offering an explanation at my confused face "I saw her greet you through Sam's memories. You know, when he had to stop you from being knocked straight off your feet"
"Oh yeah" I grinned "she was drunk and enthusiastic. But then again so was I"
"Well…I hope you have a lovely time" he sounded so sincere it made my heart ache "and if you need picking up or anything, make sure you call me first"
"Thank you" I smiled "but I'm free Sunday, if you wanted to do something?"
At this his entire face lit up, as though hearing I had turned Justin down and that I wanted to see him instead was the best thing ever.
"That sounds perfect. I'll text you"
"Great" I paused then, part of me wondering how to bring my next thought up with the rather volatile shapeshifter. The last thing I want is him shifting in the middle of a café, it would be a disaster! Not to mention Sam would kill us both.
But…he needs to know what happened yester. He deserves to know.
"Also…you know the vampires that live around here" I asked, my voice low to avoid any unwanted listeners "what are they called?"
"The Cullen's" Paul said, looking at me suspiciously "why?"
"I was approached by two of them on my run Monday night" I tried to pass it off smoothly, taking a sip of my coffee. It didn't quite go as I had planned however, when Paul immediately tensed and shot up in his seat, making to reach for me before he thought about it, retracting his hand.
"You were what?!" he practically hissed
"Calm down, they were fine. I did feel a little uncomfortable, but only because they're scarily attractive, oh and feel like they're made out of stone"
"They touched you?" Paul looked like he could pop a blood vessel at this point, his hands beginning to shake as he absorbed the information. I just looked at them pointedly, relieved when he caught my wordless warning and took a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down.
"Breathe" I reminded him "I'm okay. Alice just introduced herself and her boyfriend to me. She also said that she wanted to spend more time with me"
"Like hell she will" he muttered, before pulling a face at my flat expression "sorry, I just can't say I'm comfortable with that, especially not without the pack there to protect you"
"Well you have nothing to worry about, I can't say I feel inclined to organise a day trip" I tried to lighten the mood, relieved when he too seemed to let it go, smiling at me indulgently.
The remainder of our little coffee outing passed smoothly and without a hiccup, once again surprising me at just how easily I got along with Paul. Usually when you haven't spent much time with someone, any silence feels a little awkward, like you need to fill it with something.
But the few and far between silences shared with him feels natural. As though to be honest, no words needed to be exchanged to feel happy and relaxed in his presence.
Eventually we made our way back out to my car, both of us realising that it was getting later and I had to get back to work. Honestly, I had known that I wouldn't get to spend a whole lot of time with him, specifically having asked to meet in my lunch break so I had an excuse to leave, were Paul in a bad mood.
Looking at him now, the idea seemed ridiculous. No, Paul was instead happily walking alongside me, chatting away about the kind of thing he had planned for Sunday. And truthfully, I'm looking forward to it.
I just need to believe he is telling me the truth. That this time, he's not going to revert back to being angry and reject everything once more.
Sunday could be a good way to make a start.