Chapter 11

Buffy was dreaming again. Once more, her family wasn't too far but they weren't near either. She desperately reached her hand out, stretching to grasp her husband's shoulder.

"Angel!" she bolted awake.

"Buffy", she hears a voice before said voice called for a nurse to page a doctor. She turned to acknowledge her visitor, who turned out to be Jessica, the head of Human Resources at Wolfram Hart.

"I'm fine, Jess", Buffy assured her visitor. The two had developed a sort of camaraderie over the years of being colleagues.

"You don't look fine".

"I just had a dream, that's all".

"You sure?"

"Yes, I'm fine."

Jessica took a seat next near the bed and looked at Buffy with genuine concern.

"How are you really feeling?"

"Honestly, like crap".

"The doctor came by earlier to check on you and took some tests. He says you were recovering".

"Oh", Buffy said. She was slightly relieved but wonders what it means for the life growing inside of her.

"When did you reach?" she asked Jessica.

"About a half hour ago. I've been here twice before but you were always asleep".

"Sorry".

"Don't be. You need the rest from what I gathered".

"Thank you for coming".

"There's nothing to thank for. You got everyone worried suddenly fainting in the middle of a meeting. Manners just want to make sure that you're okay".

"Oh god, Manners. I was supposed to meet with him and the legal team from…"

"Relax Buffy. Manners has said to give you all the time you need to recover. The old man isn't as bad as people make him out to be. He actually cares about the welfare of his staff."

"He's quite a sweetheart when he's not all Mr. Bossman".

Jessica smiled in agreement. She held Buffy's hand and asked her the one question she's been coming back here for. Apart from genuinely being concerned for her colleague, she also had a professional obligation to fulfil.

"Buffy, it's company policy to notify next of kin of emergencies such as incidents like this. When we check your records, your Uncle listed as emergency contact is unreachable in London. Do you have anyone else you'd like us to notify? A relative residing in the US perhaps?".

"I don't have any relatives here".

"What about the father of your baby?"

Buffy's eyes widened at her, uncertain how to answer. How she thought that only she and her doctor were the only ones aware of her pregnancy was ridiculous. Her law firm must have been notified of her condition at some point.

"Is his name Angel?" Jessica asked before she could answer.

"What?" Buffy asked, startled. How could she have known? She was certain no one at Wolfram Hart knew she was attached.

"The nurses say that you kept calling out Angel in your sleep. They thought you were seeing angels in your sleep but after the third time, they think it was a name. Is he the father?"

She looked down and morosely answered, "He's not…um, he isn't in the picture at the moment".

She felt vulnerable and she hated feeling this exposed, hated the eyes of pity Jessica was casting on her even more. Her instincts kicked in and she looked up assuredly telling Jessica that she's fine. She was better now and she'll be back to work in no time.

"Buffy, take some time to rest. You've been slogging at work for the past four years with hardly taking time off and now, with the baby, it'd be a good idea to…"

"I have caseloads up to my eyeballs. I don't have.."

"We can reassign your cases to the other lawyers until you've fully recovered. Manners orders are for you to fully heal, no matter how long that will take".

Buffy sighed dejectedly.

The preposition laid out before Angelus was a risky one but could potentially double his returns from the initially agreed upon deal. Still, the businessman in him knew this was a risk that needed to be calculated and carefully pondered over and he relayed so to Bryan Compton.

Bryan nodded, understanding Angelus and stood up to offer a handshake. Upon the firm gesture, Angelus asked the one question plaguing his mind since the meeting started. He was distracted for the most part of the meeting but his sharp mind was focused enough to comprehend what was happening and the offer being made to him despite wondering why the petite blonde he was smitten with wasn't present in this meeting.

"So, I noticed Ms. Summers isn't here with us today", his voice spoke despite his head telling it to stay quiet. There were other ways he could find out why she wasn't here but logic was nowhere near him when it came to her.

'Did something happen to her?...the baby?', his mind raced.

Bryan frowned a little, wondering why Angelus was concerned over the absence of Buffy. He couldn't say he was surprised though. The woman was beautiful and Angelus wasn't the first man who seemed to be taken by her gorgeous beauty.

"She isn't well…on hospitalization leave as we speak", he replied.

Angelus' heart raced, alarmed with worry but he tried his best to keep his face straight.

"That's unfortunate", he managed to answer, keeping his voice as even as he could.

"Yes, it is. We are all hoping she will make a full recovery soon."

Angelus simply nodded, smiling wistfully at Bryan though his mind and heart was in chaos.

"I'm sorry but I really must get going. I look forward to hearing from you", Bryan said before shaking Angelus' hand one last time and leaving the room.

"Look at their proposal and analyze their offer. Let's meet tomorrow at 11 to discuss", Angelus said to his team.

After a collective 'yes, sir's, they vacated the room, leaving Angelus and his anxious emotions. He reached for his phone and called the number he memorised by heart but unfortunately, the phone was going straight to voicemail. This isn't good.

Who else could he call? He knew her friends were Faith and Willow but had no means to get in touch with them. He paced the room, feeling helpless before a knock came on the door and in came Robert. Like an answer to his unsaid prayer, he was shown a possible solution.

"Mr. Callahan, there is a…"

"I need you to find out which hospital Buffy Summers is at", Angelus said, cutting Robert off.

"I'm sorry?" Robert answered, uncertain he heard his boss correctly.

"Did I stutter? I need to know where Buffy Summers is. Now!"

"Yes, sir", and Robert scurried off, understanding the severity of Angelus' voice.

"When can I leave?" Buffy asked Dr. Lorne.

"Just a few more days, pumpkin. I just need to make sure that you are stabilized before discharging you".

"I've been here like forever and have been taking the meds that you guys keep shoving me every few hours and eating the crappy food you are serving each time. I know I'm feeling better and pretty sure you can see that I feel better so let's not waste each other's time and just discharge me", she answered crankily.

The doctor wasn't fazed. He has faced the worst temperament of his patients over his 15 year career and if he was so easily intimidated, well, he was clearly in the wrong line of work.

"Just a few more days, sugar bun, I promise you".

Buffy huffed and leaned back in her bed, unhappy that she wasn't going home soon.

"Look, I know you're upset but we just want to make sure that you're in the pink of health before we release you. Do you have someone you can call or someone to care for you if I discharge you?"

"Yes", she answered a bit too quickly, making the good doctor raise his brows.

"I mean..um, I have friends that I could call", she answers carefully. Although in reality, she won't actually call any of her friends but the doctor didn't need to know that.

The doctor was not convinced but knew that calling the stubborn woman's fib was not the way to get her to co-operate so he offered her a deal.

"Show me good progress and continue taking your meds and eating the crappy food for three more days and I'll look into the possibility of discharging you".

Buffy rolled her eyes, knowing that this only means it'll be some time before she'll get discharged.

"Cupcake, you have another life growing inside you. I need you to understand the importance of your health not just for your sake but for your baby", he said before leaving her room.

Buffy sighed unhappily but knowing that she was fighting a losing battle.

A tingle…that absent tingle was manifesting within her, pulling her from slumber. She felt his eyes watching her and a part of her wanted to stay still, lest he disappeared like he did in her dreams but as always, she was helpless against him and like she had no control, her eyes opened, thirsting to see the man who had turned her world upside down since they met.

It didn't take Robert very long to find out where Buffy was but it was the longest 27 minutes of Angelus' life. When Robert walked in telling him of her exact location, Angelus was already running to the elevator as his assistant tailed him to ensure he heard her bed and ward number. After a few moments of pressing the button hastily, he decided to race down the stairs, impatient with the speed of the contraption that was supposedly high-tech and famed for its 'speed'. He wanted to get to his car at lightning speed and was convinced his feet were doing a far better job than some machine.

Ignoring all legal speed limits and the possibility of getting himself in a possible collision, he drove like he never had before. When he reached his destination, he bulldozed straight to the ward and room he remembers Robert telling him. He was slightly relieved to see her with his own eyes but looking at the woman he missed dearly laying frailly in bed, tore his heart. With keen eyes, he noticed she had lost weight, her face slightly sunken and pale. His feet brought him closer and he gently laid his hand on her stomach, noting that although it wasn't visible, he could feel the slight bump as his hand gently caressed the swelling babe inside her.

For the next hour, he diligently sat by her side, his eyes glued to her sleeping form. When the nurse came in between to check on her, he introduced himself and requested to speak with the doctor. They paged the good doctor and in fifteen minutes, Angelus was seated opposite Dr Lorne, who informed him the reason she was hospitalized.

He listened intently, furious at her for not taking care of herself. Once he was assured that Buffy and the baby were out of danger, despite the weak outlook of his lover, he was relieved beyond words. The doctor continued to tell him that although she has shown progress and was slowly but surely returning back to health, he was not comfortable discharging her as she had no relatives or known friends to care for her. Angelus informed Dr. Lorne that he will take full responsibility of her well-being when she is discharged and promised that he will personally ensure she diligently takes her meals and medication. The doctor requests that he would like to observe her for a few more days before releasing her in Angelus' good hands.

After speaking to the doctor, Angelus parked himself back by her side and waited patiently for her to wake, his eyes never leaving her. It was his intent gaze that made her tingle, her body recognizing the presence of its missing mate, calling out to her, pulling her away from sleep.

When her eyes fluttered open, it immediately sought chocolate ones and as always, she couldn't pull away. Angelus' hand cupped her cheek, caressing the skin he yearned for and she greedily leaned into his hand, missing the warmth and comfort that always accompanied his touch.

Without thinking, he leaned down, wrapping an arm around her waist, burying his face in her neck, hungry for her scent, her warmth…just her in general. Buffy wrapped her hands around his back, relishing the familiar strong form of his body. God, she missed him something strong and the realization hit her like she's never been hit before. She needed him. Whether she wanted to or not, whether she would admit it or not, the truth was clear as day.

She tightened her hold on him and her tears accompanied the silent admission of his significance to her. Whatever her reservations were, her persistence to these emotions she tried to avoid, not wanting to accept or understand the feelings she had towards him, she would ignore it all. Her undeserving, loveless self can tell itself to take a hike because the woman now embracing him just wanted to bask in his warmth, his kisses…his love.

Her mind reeled back to her dreams of the beach and that small brown-haired girl that looked so much like the man in her arms now and, more than ever, she realized how badly she wanted that.

"I'm sorry", she whispered to him.

"I'm so, so sorry Angel", she pressed.

Angelus frowned and gently removed himself so he could look at her.

"For what?" he asked softly.

"Everything…I just…"

"Shhhh….don't worry about it. You're all right…that's all that matters. You're all right…and we're together", he said before wrapping her in his arms again, resting his lips on the crown of her head and placing his palm on her stomach.

"The doctor said he'd like for you to stay here for a few more days", Angelus said once again seated next to her bed.

"Yeah, he told me", she pouted.

Angelus smiled a little at her pout, wanting to kiss those enticing lips.

"It's just a few more days and you'll be back home", he consoled, caressing the back of her hand.

Buffy smiled wistfully, looking at Angelus thoughtfully. Their gazes were meaningful and deep but neither had words to say. Her hands moved to cup his face, caressing his masculine features. He closed his eyes, relishing her gentle touches. He leaned his forehead against hers, wanting to be close to her.

"I don't want to lose you. I know how you feel about the baby but…" his speech was stopped by the abrupt kiss she gave him.

She kissed him tenderly at first but the longing and pain of separation allowed emotions to get the best of her and she deepened the kiss. Angelus matched her emotions, pulling her closer, missing the taste of her lips that reminds him of sunshine and strawberries. Perhaps it was the overwhelming relief of finally having her in his arms again and letting go of all the yearning that was tremendous at times, it was as tangible as the air he breathes.

Angelus flexed his hand on her back, crushing her small form to his. How easily he could feel her bones underneath the hospital garb- testament of her malnourished body- did not go unnoticed by him. He wanted to never let her go again.

He broke the kiss but didn't stray away and began kissing her neck, his lips finding its home on that particular spot on her neck. Buffy grasped the back of his neck and in that moment, realizing that she missed him more than she thought.

"God, I missed you so much", he whispered against her neck.

"Angel…" she said and Angelus released her knowing this requires his full attention.

"About the baby..."

"Buffy.."

She held her hand up and asked that he hear her out, wanting him to listen before nerves got the best of her. Angelus heeded and held her hand, encouraging her to continue.

"For the longest time, I saw feelings as a weakness and I made sure I don't get attached to anything and it worked for me. No commitments, no strings…It was an easy way to live. Then, you came along and right from the start, you wrecked my sense of control and for some time, I hated it…"

She pulled her hand away from his grasp, not wanting to get distracted by his gentle caresses.

"It was unnerving and I didn't understand it…and honestly, a part of me didn't want it. It was confusing and I did everything. I tried to pull away, I ensured that I didn't get attached, I kept telling myself you were just another lover, another notch on my bedpost".

Angelus found her confession a little hard to listen to but he patiently waited for her to finish.

"But as time passed, no matter how much I tried not to get too close, how much walls I put up, it doesn't matter because the way you make me feel, this longing I feel when we're apart, I've never felt anything like it before…I couldn't get enough of you."

Buffy took a necessary breath, honesty draining the energy out of her.

"When I found out about the baby, after all the things I've done, how could I think I deserve this? I still don't believe I do but, when the doctor said the baby was in danger, this horrible feeling came over me and I…for the first time in a long while, I was afraid. I was trying sooo hard to convince myself that this was not something that happens to someone like me and was certain this baby isn't what I wanted but the fear I could actually lose it…hurts", her voice broke.

Angelus looked at the tears rolling down and he immediately wiped it away.

"I still don't think I deserve this….gift", finally acknowledging what the baby means to her.

"But, I don't want to lose it….I can't", she whispered sadly, her hand clutching her stomach.

Angelus immediately pulled her into his arms, assuring her, "You won't. We won't lose the baby."

"But I almost did…Angel, the baby could have…"

"Shhhh…I won't let anything happen to you or our baby. I promise you. Nothing will happen to our baby."

Angelus gently rocked her against him as she sobbed uncontrollably, the impact that she was very close to losing their baby shook her core. Angelus was mostly relieved, glad that his suspicions of her true emotions about the baby turned out to be true. Buffy was finally acknowledging it out loud and although it was a long way to go before she was able to grasp her emotions and whatever was happening, he thought they were heading to a pretty good start.

Three days later

Angelus walked briskly to Buffy's hospital suite, excited that she was finally allowed to go home. He was about a few hours early but he had planned to help her pack and settle the paperwork. The past three days was a time of reconciliation between the two lovers.

There were still so many things that were left unsaid and issues they still had to face but they agreed to go on this parenting journey together. Buffy didn't want a label or name to whatever their relationship was but knew that she wanted Angelus in her life. Whether they would work together or not, she didn't know. All she knew was, at this moment, she wished to resume and get them back on track, deciding to simply allow nature to take its course.

Angelus was elated knowing that her decision to keep the baby and her honesty about wanting him in her life was huge. He told himself that time would naturally make everything fall into place. In his eyes, having a child with the woman he loves and building a life with her is as close to perfect happiness for him.

Creating a family of his own wasn't something he even thought about, thinking that the yearning to procreate would come slightly later in his life but when Buffy told him of the pregnancy, the mere idea of having a family with her, whether he was ready or not, sounded wonderful.

He entered the room and saw Buffy pacing, clearly restless wanting to leave the hospital.

"Should you be up and about?" he asked leaning against the door.

She turned and felt the tension within her body lightened at the sight of him. Her eyes brightened and she found herself smiling at him. Angelus strutted towards her and captured her lips in a chaste kiss, wrapping her tightly in his arms. When they broke the kiss, Angelus didn't let her go, resting his lips on the bridge of her nose.

"Hi", he whispered.

Buffy smiled, leaning into him, replying with a hi of her own. They stayed glued together for some moments enjoying the feel of each other.

"How did you sleep?"

"Horribly."

"Poor baby", he caressed her back.

Buffy looked up to him and whispered, "I…I missed you", her voice quivered at the admission, unused to being so honest with her emotions.

Angelus smiled at her confession, knowing how hard it was for her, feeling his heart warmed, doubling in size, falling even more in love with the woman.

"I can't wait to go home".

"Let's see if I can talk to the doctor to give you an early release".

"Please", she said eagerly.

"Be right back", he said, giving her a kiss on her forehead before searching for the doctor.

After much convincing and promising that he will ensure that she has adequate rest and takes her meals timely, the doctor signed her discharge papers and she was waiting at the pharmacy for Angelus to pick up her prescription.

In twenty minutes, she was walking slowly down the hallway with Angelus wrapping his hand around her waist, guiding her to the apartment. Opening her door using his copy of the key, he escorted her to the couch before going into the bedroom to unload the duffle bag holding her things, placing the items back in its place before joining her on the couch.

"Are you hungry? Do you want me to make you something?" he bellowed from the bedroom.

"No, I'm still full from the mush I had earlier".

"Well, lunch is about two hours. How about I whip us something?" he said walking out to join her on the couch.

"You really don't have to do that. I'm sure you have work to do. I'll be fine".

"Work can wait. How does steak and spaghetti sound?"

"I'm really okay to have takeout. You don't have to stay".

"Well, tough. I'm not going anywhere".

"Angel…"

"Buffy, I'm staying", his face full of resolve.

Knowing there was no way she could convince him otherwise, she relented and said, "Steak and spaghetti sounds wonderful".

"Great! Why don't you just relax and I'll get lunch started".

"Thank you", she said gratefully before moving into the bedroom with the intention to have a nice, long shower to rid the horrible hospital smell off her.