Chapter 14 "Somebody's Baby" (Early October 1983- Second Week)
"Well, just - a look at that girl with the lights comin' up in her eyes
She's got to be somebody's baby.
She must be somebody's baby.
All the guys on the corner stand back and let her walk on by
She's got to be somebody's baby.
She must be somebody's baby.
She's got to be somebody's baby.
She's so fine."
Jackson Browne, "Someone's baby."
Ray
We had a slow morning on a pretty Autumn day during the second week of October, and I took Ecto One for a little of a joy ride to savor the beauty of the day. Honestly, I was meeting a friend of mine at a small cafe near Columbia. Her name was Phoebe, and she was a Pharmaceutical Science graduate student at York University in the city with a medium build, straight jet black hair, and luminous green eyes. When I first started teaching as an assistant professor at Columbia in 1978, she had enrolled in a couple of my classes as electives as she found the paranormal interesting to her as a hobby. Phoebe would visit during office hours on occasion as an undergraduate and ask questions about my experiences. We had stayed in touch when she graduated a couple of years afterward. She chose to begin her graduate degree with my encouragement after working unhappily in the private sector.
Phoebe was stunning but in an unassuming way. I have noticed some beautiful women felt entitled by men for their attention like they were owed it, but not her. She almost was self-conscious of her obvious attractiveness, I thought. Like J, she was a straightforward individual to speak to, and I always enjoyed my conversations with her. I parked the car at an open parking lot next to the small coffee shop, which was very busy with customers at the time, and I entered the building, searching for Phoebe. Finally, I found my friend at a small round table and walked towards it.
"Dr. Stantz! Hello, it's so great to see you," she welcomed me warmly with a side hug, and I got a whiff of her sweet-smelling perfume. I felt a blush creep up on my cheeks as I touched her.
"Come on, Phoebe, call me Ray. You haven't been in my class for three years," I urged, with a grin, happy to see her.
"You look great," I mentioned as she sat back down and pointed at a chair for me to sit in. Phoebe beamed at my compliment with a blush and a shy smile as I lowered my body into a chair.
For an hour, we caught up on her studies, on the Ghostbusters business, and Peter and Egon, both of whom she knew because of her interest in paranormal events.
"I hate to do this, Phoebs, but I have to go. We have some busts in the early afternoon. I have enjoyed talking to you," I said disappointedly when my watch beeped as a reminder of the time. Slowly, I stood up from the table.
"Ohhh, we didn't even get a chance to discuss the ghosts and other spirits that you are capturing," she replied, her face falling while gazing into my eyes.
"Are you free to grab a drink tomorrow night with me at Bud's over by Columbia? We can discuss them then," I inquired nervously, my face flushing hotly.
"I'd love to."
Driving home in Ecto One, I felt like I was on top of the world because I had a date with one of my favorite former students. Unlike Venkman, I did not want to become one of those professors who dated his students, but now that Phoebe wasn't one, I felt fine with it. It finally felt like it was the right time to date her as she had lots of suitors but not a serious boyfriend right now.
Dr. Egon Spengler
Peter and Janine were arguing tumultuously downstairs late on a sunny Tuesday morning, so much so that I had to go downstairs to cease it. My concentration was broken, and I was already agitated mostly at myself for being so distracted by Janine when I was around her. The more that I tried to ignore her, the more she was on my mind; however, I managed to cut our interactions down to a bare minimum.
As I crossed the landing, I scanned the firehouse for Ray by peeking over the handrails, but he wasn't anywhere to be seen. Usually, he kept the peace between those two when they argued because he could easily defuse the situation.
"Where was he? Stantz mentioned something about having coffee with someone, or was that yesterday," I thought as I descended the stairs, and I felt reluctant to be involved in Peter and Janine's argument.
"Regardless, Stantz was not here now, " I thought when I made it to the bottom of the stairs and immediately felt the tension in the atmosphere, causing me to scowl.
Indignantly, Janine, dressed in a long-sleeve solid blue dress that went to her knees, had her thin arms folded across her chest, and Peter had his index finger in her face when I made it down there. The two appeared to be in a stand-off of some sorts, and I knew she hated it when my friend did that as it was one of her pet peeves. First, I stood in between them to separate them and held up my hands immediately.
"Janine, when I ask you to do something, you do it. I'm your boss," the brown hair psychiatrist countered, moving back a step or two but still visibly upset.
"I've quit better jobs than this, Dr. Venkman," Janine threatened, her thick Brooklyn accent showing and informed him, "I'm not your housekeeper, your babysitter, your grocer, and your date calendar coordinator."
"OK, that's enough," I remarked firmly as the two glared at each other. Both of them ignored my comment and commenced bickering again.
"You are a big..." he started but paused because I was there between them. When Peter glanced at me, I viewed a flicker of mischievousness in his brown eyes before he completed the sentence with a major emphasis on the word, "'bitch' in a small package."
Even usually, my disposition is, but with Peter's insult of Janine, it flared up like gas on a flame. Her mouth dropped, and that was it for me as I felt my whole body transform into a giant knot of pressure suddenly. Now my whole body temperature rose to a boiling point, and my temper raged. Rashly, I strongly grabbed both sides of Peter's blue shirt collar with my hands, and then tempestuously threw him against the wall behind us. For once in his life, he was stunned into silence.
"Don't ever say that again," I admonished him in an incandescent voice that shook in anger, then added, "apologies to her now."
Peter didn't say anything, too surprised, probably. Clenching my teeth, I waited for a while, but it felt like an entirety. As time went by, my temper only grew, and I felt a headache coming.
"Apologize," I spitted out through gritted teeth. Once again, I pushed him up against the wall with coercion. Venkman apologized to Janine, who looked a mixture of frightened and astonished, and I let go of his shirt collar.
After I stepped away from him, I felt extreme disbelief that I had just acted that way and stood there, scared by my actions for a moment. Then I climbed the stairs two at a time rapidly and headed into the lab to calm down. My thoughts spun around in my mind like a top, and my heartbeat like a loud drum in my chest.
"If Peter claimed that he knew how I felt about Janine, why would he say that? " I thought out loud, embittered.
Unfortunately, I felt like my displeasure knew no bounds. There was not a valid reason for him to call her that word, in my opinion, and I had never been so pissed at him as I was now.
When I made it upstairs, I was still frenzied, and I needed to assuage my anger and stress. On top of all of the exasperation inside of me with Venkman calling Janine a bitch plus that ignoring my fervid feelings for her, I felt like something had to give. I stormed past the kitchen, and went into the lab, slamming the door obtrusively behind me.
"What the hell is going on with me," I questioned myself loudly, feeling mortified. My heart pummeled inside my chest as I paced around the lab in circles with my hands on my head, trying to take deep breaths, and Peter's words kept replaying in my mind over and over. Finally, in extreme vexation, I punched the glass in the fire extinguisher case with my right hand.
The glass broke over my knuckles, shattering to pieces on the floor, and my hand was cut pretty severely. However, I didn't even feel the sting of the glass, cutting my skin at the time. Bleeding, I sat in the corner of the room furthest away from everything, cross-legged, with my head down, taking deep breaths, and trembling visibly. I tried practicing some meditation, but it didn't seem to help even as Peter ran into the lab.
Janine
Aghast, Peter apologized profusely with real remorse in his voice and offered me a sincere apology after Egon ran upstairs in a rage that I had never seen him in. His rampage scared me a lot because I had never seen him behave like that ever, and I worried that he was going to hurt himself since he was so out of control.
A clamorous racket came from the lab upstairs, causing me to jump in apprehension, but it sounded like broken glass. I gasped, and my heart jumped to my throat as Venkman ran upstairs to the lab, and I followed him anxiously. My pulse raced as I paced in the landing because he didn't allow me in the lab right away to save me from the sight of seeing Egon hurt. A minute or two later, he approached me to inquire if I could retrieve the gauze from the bathroom, along with cotton balls, scissors, rubbing alcohol, Neosporin, and some medical tape.
"Janine, Spengs is OK, I promise. Will you please give me a few minutes to talk to him? I would like to make this right if Iggy listens," he pleaded, repentantly.
Feeling a little relieved at my boss's reassurance, I nodded my head up and down and heard the imperceptible warble of the radio playing in the lab.
Running to the bathroom to find those items, I wondered about the damage Egon did to himself. I returned with all of Dr. V's requested items and scanned the room. Confused, I didn't see either of them in their normal spot near the lab table.
"Over here," Peter called, so I followed the sound of his voice and saw he was in a chair in front of Egon in the corner of the room. Slowly, I strolled over to them, unsure of the situation. I could see the back of Dr. V in a chair and Egon's legs in a chair, but my love's face was blocked by Dr. Venkman.
When I saw blood on the floor as I walked steadily to him, I yelled, "Egon!" However, my favorite physicist did not notice, but I observed more blood than I wanted to see on a towel as I came closer. I felt sick to my stomach when Dr. V. removed it to show me Egon's knuckles, and I gasped. To my ultimate dismay, his skin was bright red, and there was a fair amount of both blood and cuts on his hand. I felt nauseated, but my darling's face was expressionless.
"Thank you for bringing the supplies," Peter commented quietly. Then he reversed his body to look up at my shocked face and met my eyes, and I thought that he looked at least as concerned as I did.
For a short time, Venkman tried to calm Egon down by encouraging him to take deep breaths. He didn't seem to hear Peter as he leaned over his knees, and his face turned downward with his eyes closed and arms trembling. My heart was split into two when I saw him, and tears formed in my eyes. Casually, he stood up from his chair then motioned for me to sit down, and I did after I put the supplies on the floor. Dr. Venkman chose to stay standing behind me and stated,
"OK, Iggy, will you take a deep breath for me, big guy? I'm sorry for insulting Janine, and she accepted my apology."
There wasn't a response from the physicist.
I politely requested in a tranquil voice of him," Dr. Venkman, may I trouble you for a glass of water for Dr. Spengler ?"
He recognized this was an opportunity for me to assist our friend in calming down, so he agreed, but I felt a little nervous that I would be able to do it. As a result, Peter put a supportive hand on my shoulder before he went on his errand run and whispered, "good luck, you got this, kid."
Egon's hands were on his knees, but I didn't want to do anything rash as to perturb him further. Carefully, I loosened the rubbing alcohol bottle and grabbed a cotton ball from the open bag at my feet. I poured the liquid over it and requested gently,
"May I have your hand, please?
Although it took a while for my love to open his eyes, he did, and I waited for him to nod. When Egon did, I clasped his bleeding hand tenderly into mine, and I hesitated a second as I tried to keep the shock out of my face before touching his bloodied hand.
"This is going to hurt, Egon, but I have to do it so I can clean your cuts," I warned, keeping my voice neutral.
"Ouch," he grimaced in pain, sucking in his breath and yanking his large hand away.
"Egon, I want to help you. Will you allow me to, please," I requested, in a comforting voice, a moment later after giving him a small smile?
Without saying anything, Egon moved his hand closer to mine, and I grinned up at him. He made eye contact with me for half a second, and I saw the pain in his eyes. I had never seen it previously, and it tortured me, causing my heart to fall to my stomach and commence aching. Frustratedly, I glanced at his wounds on his knuckles and attempted again with the rubbing alcohol.
Egon didn't jerk his hand but still made a face. As I blew on one of his cuts gently, I wanted to make eye contact to reassure him but wasn't going to push it. Smiling inwardly, I thought that I enjoyed playing nurse to him, although I didn't want him to be hurt.
"It's OK, you will be alright," I commented reassuringly.
The song on the radio was one of my favorite Jackson Browne songs. As a result, I sang softly, "Just look at that girl with the light coming in her eyes; she's got to be someone's baby. She's got to be someone's baby. She's so fine."
When Peter returned to the lab, he brought a dustpan and a broom, and curiously, he watched as I sang "Somebody's baby" with Jackson Browne on the radio while I cleaned his friend's wounds, amazed. Dr. Venkman then swept up the glass on the floor carefully into a dustpan and put it in the trash. Afterward, he cleaned up the blood on the floor between us with some cleaning products without attempting to speak as I unwrapped the gauze and estimated the amount I needed.
"I forgot scissors, Dr. Venkman, sorry."
He stood up and left again.
"She's going to be someone's baby tonight. I try to shut my eyes, but I can't get her out of my sight, " I sang in a low tone.
Suddenly, I heard singing coming from him- " I know I don't even know her, but I gotta get over my fright...I'm going to walk up to her and talk to her tonight..."
Taken aback, I glanced up at him as I heard his beautifully deep singing voice join in softly with me. His brown eyes made contact with mine, and my face lit up like a Christmas tree as I smiled. Egon blushed, and the corners of his mouth turned up. We continued singing together as I waited for Peter to return.
By the time Dr. Venkman returned, the song was almost over, and we were singing the chorus.
"What the hell," he started to say when he saw us singing. Turning around, I glanced up at him and shook my head at him to prevent him from making a smart-aleck comment. Peter had learned his lesson already today and stayed quiet, for once, and Egon wouldn't look at him still. I grabbed the scissors from him and turned around to face my patient. Next, I wrapped the gauze around my love's hurt fist, cut, and secured it with some tape. I smiled brightly at Egon, who was watching me bandage his fist cautiously.
"OK, you are getting a raise, no joke," my boss stated.
"It's not a big deal," I replied, shaking my head and dismissing him with a wave of my left hand.
Peter went downstairs when he heard Ray pulling Ecto 1 in the firehouse. When the song ended, we looked at each other with smiles on our faces.
"All better," I said soothingly and then paused before adding, "thank you for defending me, Egon. That was so thoughtful."
Finally, he spoke, but with a harsh sharpness in his voice, "Venkman knows better than to say those things about you around me."
This was uncharacteristically open of him, but I was pleased. As I stood from the chair that sat in front of him, he clasped my hand in his unhurt hand, abruptly.
"Will you stay... ahem..for a while, please, my Angel? I am still not 100% tranquil," Egon requested, looking dazed, and then kissed my hand gently.
"Sure," I agreed, happily, and lowered myself down into the chair. When he began to rub his thumb over the top part of my hand, I simpered.
"You can't let Peter provoke you," I reminded, squeezing his unhurt hand, "I shouldn't either. He and I are too similar in some ways, so we butt heads."
"I will hit him if he says something like that to you again," Egon confessed in a grave tone.
After a long while, he admitted, " You have a calming effect on me, Janine, and I appreciate it.
We didn't converse but gazed at each other. Although his face was expressionless, his eyes weren't as they seemed to dance happily as we held hands.
Ray
When I returned from my coffee with Phoebe, the firehouse was empty and silent. That was until Venkman ran down the stairs to report the situation as I got out of the car.
"Stantz, well, I called it. I knew one day Egon's emotions and frustrations would erupt like a volcano, and that's what happened. I didn't mean to cause it," Peter announced and then went into more detail.
"You always provoke J, and she's been on edge because Iggy's been avoiding her again. Honestly, her frustration is understandable. Did you apologize," I inquired, lighting up a smoke.
"Of course! I feel horrible about calling her a bitch, and I still want to speak to her privately about my stupid comments. Ray, I don't know why I like to provoke people the way I do. I just do; it's not right, I know," Venkman responded guiltily.
"What about Spengler," I questioned, concerned, flicking the ash of my cigarette, " Is his brain broken? I mean, he just lost his cool over you calling J a bitch, and he has been attempting to clear his mind of her again. I am assuming this is the first time he has ever defended a woman."
"I don't know, Ray. Iggy has come a very long way with admitting his emotions since I have known him, and especially with Janine. I just don't know," Peter confessed, shaking his head.
"Let's go check on him quietly," I suggested, and we ascended the stairs.
We tiptoed into the lab peeking around the corner of the room to discover Janine sitting in front of Egon in a chair, and they were holding hands. He appeared pretty calm. We observed them gazing into each other's eyes wordlessly and appearing very much like two people in love.
"I at least owe him a moment alone with Janine," Venkman admitted as we strolled back into the landing, and he sat on the sofa. Afterward, I retrieved my Nikon camera from my room that I shared with Spengler since taking photos was a hobby of mine. Janine and Egon made sense to me, and I held both in high regard as friends. I had an intuition about them, so I took some photos capturing this moment for them, quickly and silently.
Egon
My heartbeat roared while Janine and I sat holding hands in the lab, and it felt like a drum line was playing in my ears because my adrenaline pumped through my body. Although my plan for the last two weeks was to ignore Janine once again, I couldn't fight the feelings I felt for her today. The fact that she took care of me made me feel very cared for, and when she started singing, I couldn't help but join her. Janine looked so happy when she sang, and I loved it. Even though I had calmed down, my emotions were exceedingly high strung at the moment.
At first, I knew she was concerned about me by the look of fear and astonishment in her blue eyes when I grabbed Pete's collar after he called her an unkind word earlier. Her presence calmed me down, albeit gradually. I couldn't even hear Peter until I asked Janine if I could hold her hand because all I saw was red. Contrastingly, when she held my hand, and we looked into each other's eyes, communicating non verbally, all I saw and felt was love.
Time passed, and eventually, the phone rang. My Angel looked at me and then to the phone on the table on the other side of the room. She was about to get up and leave my side when Ray yelled from the landing, " I got it, J."
"Are you feeling better," Janine inquired, hopefully.
"I don't think I will be punching anything," I replied drily, turning to look at her, "but no, if it means that you have to get up."
As she laughed, she squeezed my non -injured hand and rose from her chair to move it next to me. After Janine sat down again, the lovely woman put her head on my shoulder as I put my arm around her cute petite body.
Janine
After a while, I realized that I hadn't been working, I checked my watch for the time, and it confirmed it.
"Oh no, it's almost been twenty-five minutes! ! I have to go back to work, or Peter will have my head," I exclaimed, shocked at the time.
"Let him try," he responded in a low growl, then after a second, a little more calmly stated, "yes, of course, you should go back to work."
Before I headed downstairs, Egon thanked me for helping him as I rose from my chair. Out of the blue, he stood from the chair with a cute small boyish grin on his face, then stepped closer to me until his body was in front of mine. At that moment, I knew he was going to kiss me, and I felt tingly everywhere in anticipation as I felt the heat from our bodies. I felt a shiver run down my spine when his lips touched mine, and shut my eyes, enjoying the magic as we snogged each other. While we kissed, our arms slid around the other's, and we pulled each other so close that our bodies were pressed together. I allowed myself to feel his taut, muscular back with my hands as we passionately demonstrated our love for each other, and I became lost in the moment. When we broke apart for a moment, Egon opened his beautiful shiny brown eyes and smiled down at me as we swayed back and forth, staring at each other.
"Why was he so resistant to the idea of us," I wondered to myself. Although I knew the answer, I didn't comprehend it. Instead, I pulled his mouth down to me again for another kiss opening my lips to deepen it, and forgot everything else.
Ray
"It is awfully quiet in there," I mentioned as I read through some of Spengler's notes from last night's bust.
"What time is our first client this afternoon," Peter asked me a while later, and I went downstairs to look at Janine's computer.
Unfortunately, I did not know, so I picked up the schedule from Janine's desk and read it. Climbing the stairs, I checked my watch, groaning.
"Venkman, we have a client in less than an hour in the Bronx, " I informed him, motioning towards the lab and probed," what are we going to do about that?"
Sighing, Pete suggested that we get ready and pack the car so then all we would have to do was wait for Spengler to change his clothes.
Egon
"Kiss me again, Egon, please," Janine requested softly, holding onto me tightly. There weren't any more pleasing words that she could utter right then or ever. My lips were on fire, and only my Angel could put them out.
Behind us, someone was clearing their throat. Agitated, I growled, "go away." That worked for a short while as we continued to canoodle, but one of my business partners came back into the lab.
"Spengler, we have to leave now, " Ray informed us in an edgy voice.
Reluctantly, Janine pulled back from me when Ray returned.
"How much time do we have," I asked, watching Janine's angelic smiling face as her blue eyes twinkled happily and I felt captivated by her again. Ray liked to be early to busts, and so did I, usually. This time, however, I didn't want to leave her and feared the moment would pass us by.
"We had waited a while for this opportunity to appear again, but wasn't that my fault for trying to avoid her? I thought to myself.
Unfortunately, Stantz's voice broke my reverie by saying,
"After you change clothes, none. We are going to be late, Spengler, otherwise I wouldn't interrupt you".
Troubled, I sighed crestfallen as I viewed Janine stepped back from me and removed her soft and cozy arms from my body.
"Don't worry, I will still be here when you return, Egon," Janine flirted, rewarding me with her bright 1000 watt smile, and she grinned at Ray while strolling out of the lab joyfully.
Dazed, I wasn't in any shape to catch a ghost as I watched her walk out of the room. I couldn't think straight. Well, except for about Janine.
Peter
When Janine emerged from the lab, she looked like she was floating on a cloud with that dreamy smile on her face.
"Thanks, J. I didn't want to interrupt," Ray apologized profusely, but she ignored him as she strolled downstairs.
When our secretary suggested, sarcastically, that I call her a b—- more often, I snickered, but not until after she was out of distance to hear.
"Yes, I need more ass, whoopings, " I bemoaned to Ray drily, and he laughed. Egon emerged from the lab with all of the supplies she used to patch him up with and went into the bathroom to put them up. He looked calm but stupefied. Iggy didn't say anything to either of us.
I smiled at her, then opened the passenger door to sit in the car. Egon was right behind me but still not talking. Then I realized that the smile was for him and not me. I kept my mouth shut smartly.
"J, can you call - and tell them we will be there in a half-hour? And the one after that," Ray asked breathlessly as I opened the door to Ecto One.
"No problem, Ray," Janine replied, that silly smile was still on her face.
"There's not one until four after that," I reminded Stantz, looking at the worksheet, and exclaimed, "and Nothing tonight. Yes, I can go out on a date with Victoria!"
"No disco, Ray. It's dead, haven't you heard, " I complained, looking at a map of the Bronx directing him. It was fifteen minutes later, and traffic was at a dead stop on the way to Staten Island. Egon was looking out the window absentmindedly. I knew I needed to apologize to him eventually, but he wasn't himself yet.
"Shit," I answered as we stopped again, and then Ray turned the radio up to irritate me.
Frowning, Egon reached up from the back seat and turned it back down because he didn't like disco either.
"Where the fuck were you before Spengler slammed me against the wall, " I questioned Ray, taking a cigarette out of my fresh pack.
" I told you that I was having coffee with Phoebe earlier and didn't think it would be a problem, " he answered, looking at Egon in the rearview mirror and then diverting his eyes back on the road.
"How did it go with her," I inquired, slyly, knowing that he had a crush on his former student. He answered that they were going to have a drink together in a couple of nights, and I gave him a knowing wink.
"It's not like that," Ray protested, turning pink in the cheeks, " Are you OK, Spengler?"
Iggy responded affirmatively with his standard one-word answer, "Yes."
"Ray, yes, it is like that, and she is a sweet girl who has had a thing for you since she was a junior," I replied.
We argued back and forth for a while before I realized that I needed to apologize to Iggy again since he seemed somewhat receptive now.
"I guess this is where I apologize again," I explained to Egon, turning my body to face him from the front seat, "I'm sorry."
He didn't respond, so I let it go for the time being. OK, maybe he wasn't ready to hear anything yet after all.
"How's your hand," Ray inquired.
"Fine," my friend responded, quietly and in a monotone voice, and glanced at his left hand and the bandages Janine put on it, scrutinizing them.
"Why were you bleeding, Spengler, " Ray asked, finally able to drive the car forward without being caught in stand-still traffic.
"I punched the glass in the fire extinguisher case, " Egon stated like he did that every day.
We completed the two jobs sloppily without our on-point man, not at his best, but they were done. Sometimes, that's how it goes.
Egon
With everything that happened so far that day, I needed to process it all. Unfortunately, I didn't have the time to do so with the busts, but I recognized that a couple of significant events happened. When Peter insulted Janine earlier, I lost my temper, which proved to me that I was indeed falling in love with her despite my attempts to halt it. It was my fervid emotions that instigated my temper to flare up, and of course, I recognize that. I had never shoved someone against the wall like that ever, and it horrified me that I was capable of that behavior. Even though Peter shouldn't have insulted Janine, my reaction was too aggressive. I knew that I would apologize to Peter eventually about that behavior when I was ready. I had anger issues with which to work and already saw a therapist two times a month just to recognize and acknowledge my feelings. Sighing, I felt overwhelmed with it all. I didn't understand why I had these problems with my emotions and other people.
On the other hand, I admitted my feelings to Janine, if I hadn't already, by pushing Peter against the wall when he called her a curse word. I felt extraordinarily fortunate that she felt the same admiration for me that I felt for her.
Usually, I calculate and create a plan before taking action. Today all I wanted to do was spend time with Janine and to hell with everything else. When our moment in the lab ended, I hoped that reality would not set in by the time I returned to HQ because my brain might fight back with the rational thinking that I prided myself in usually having. Now I hoped that those thoughts would evacuate my mind and just allow me to give my love to Janine freely.
On the way to the first bust, I attempted to straighten out the slew of thoughts and emotions in my head and heart and viewed the city passed by as Ecto one rode through it.
"I'm not sure this was a good idea to bring him," Stantz admitted to Peter, turning off the car and looking back at me.
"Me?"
Peter turned around to face me, and I looked at him for the first time since I shoved him against the wall.
"Yes, we have been talking to you most of the ride over here, and you have not answered us," he stated, worriedly, "we are concerned because our best man on the team is down. I have never seen you act like this. You are lost, Egon. Bye, bye."
"Isn't that an exaggeration, Venkman," I asked, critically, with a raised eyebrow. I hardly cared, although I wouldn't tell them that.
"No, Spengler, it isn't. You are probably on an adrenaline high. I know I wasn't there for everything, but I've seen enough to make me distraught," Ray answered before Peter could.
Bewildered, I exclaimed outraged, "Both of you have been encouraging me to pursue Janine since she started with us, haven't you?"
"That's not it, Egon. You are unpredictable today. You are one of my best friends, and I admit I was wrong in saying what I did to Janine. You could have seriously hurt yourself, look at your hand or me even," Venkman declared, sincerely.
I looked down at my hand, which was still bleeding through the bandages, and the pain caused the cuts to sting. Meanwhile, we had arrived at our location. I opened the door of the car and got out, knowing full well I couldn't perform the job as expected.
"This is your damn fault, Ray. You insisted that he was OK; I'm blaming this on you," Peter yelled at Stantz, obviously pissed off.
"I don't think you and I can do this without him. We are a team," Ray countered, talking like I wasn't there. I hated that they did that.
At the first location in Staten Island, the first category 5 wouldn't be difficult to capture on any other day, but it took an hour to catch a slimmer because I couldn't get it together. The second location in Queens was more of the same shenanigans due to my inability to pull myself together.
"Just drop me off at HQ," I said, upset, afterward, "clearly, Peter was right. I made a mess of it."
"No, you are stuck with this today. We have to go back to the Bronx, and I'm not going through traffic twice, Spengler, not after that traffic mess before," Ray replied, determinedly, starting the car.
My hand started to throb in pain.
"Shit," I winced when the pain started to become unbearable.
"Yeah, I knew that pain would kick in eventually," Peter commented as he heard me and said, " let's get something to eat but get some pain killers at the convenience store down the corner."
When Ray stopped, Venkman popped out Ecto One and purchased some pain relievers for me.
"You probably need something stronger than this, but that's all they had," he returned with a small package of two Advil.
"Thanks," I replied.
We decided to eat at Colonel Sanders/ KFC nearby the next bust in the Bronx, and I took the aspirin with water there. As we ate, there was an uncomfortable silence at first.
"Venkman, I'm sorry that I shoved you against the wall like I did, "I finally apologized," I realize now that I was already incensed about my inability to avoid Janine for two weeks, and it didn't help that I had been ruminating over my failure this morning."
Peter accepted it with a handshake, and we ate in silence. It wasn't disagreeable, though. Until Ray broke the silence by inquiring,
"Iggy, why are you so adamant about avoiding Janine when it seems that circumstances keep on pushing you together and that you both care for each other?"
"When I was growing up, I was taught to focus only on my achievements and that people or relationships were not necessary. The problem is that I think Janine is becoming necessary to me and my life, and I don't know how to manage both," I responded truthfully.
"Iggy, I am sure that she's mystified by the cat and mouse game that you seem to be caught up in, emotionally," he replied, taking a sip of his Pepsi.
"Yes, "I agreed.
"I want you to know that you will end up deciding because she won't be willing to do that eventually," he added.
Nodding my head, I met Ray's different colored eyes. The advice that he was giving me sank into my brain, and I was analyzing it. After putting his cigarette out in the ashtray, Peter chimed in with,
"The decision you make will be one that is going to tear you up inside because you are in love with Janine. I don't care that you say you aren't sure because it's clear to everyone else that the two of you are in love with each other. You have to do what you think is best for you. I understand that you were brought up only to focus on your work, but it might not be the best advice for you. Life is never as black and white, like science."
"Gray areas are not in my wheelhouse of strengths," I admitted weakly, with a sigh.
"And you realize that it might not end up working out with Janine. I think you two are perfect for each other and hope you will end up happy together. Life is about taking chances. How many chances have you taken in your life, outside of science or your work," Stantz questioned, lighting a cigarette.
I analyzed the question for a moment and shook my head, then replied earnestly, "I think I hear both of you correctly, and I don't have a response. Ray, I have probably taken very few chances in life outside of my work."
"Just be careful with Brooklyn and her feelings. Consider how hard it is for you, and then ponder how this would be for her. She cares about you, and you go back and forth with going on dates and avoiding her," Peter added.
"My feelings aren't wishy-washy for Janine. They are at the opposite extreme," I corrected him, feeling defensive, but added solemnly, " I don't want to hurt her."
"I realized that I had never considered her side of the situation," I thought to myself.
"No, but your actions are inconsistent since you two were dancing at the bar, and it might be time to explain this to Janine. She may not understand, but at least it would be in the open," Ray remarked, " we aren't criticizing you, Egon. We are trying to help."
"I know. When we went to get ice cream a couple of weeks ago, I explained to her that I bury my feelings because I don't like being out of control," I divulged to my friends, truthfully.
"You did? That's great! What did she say?" Peter exclaimed, surprised.
"Nothing really- Janine wanted to ask for clarification, but I think she was afraid I would shut down as she knows my emotions are troubling to me. However, I don't think she comprehends, but truthfully, I don't either," I stated, shrugging my shoulders helplessly.
"You scared the crap out of her earlier," Venkman said, pointing to my knuckles, "I didn't want Janine to see the blood, and you upset, but I also realized that only she would be able to calm you down. You didn't even respond once when I was talking to you. Did she tell you any of this?"
My face turned bright red as I felt a large amount of guilt, then responded, sheepishly, "No."
"I don't know how she was able to persuade you to let her clean your cuts. All I know is that you two were singing together when I came back with the broom. You have to make sure you show her how much you appreciate her," Peter explained emphatically.
"You are right," I agreed, considering my options knowing that she loved candles, plants, and music for sure.
"Besides, Janine sings when she's nervous," Stantz inputted.
"She also just enjoys singing all the time," Peter replied, exasperatedly, to him then rolled his eyes upward.
"Janine bites her bottom lip when she's nervous most of the time," I added, taking a sip of my water afterward, adding, "but she also giggles."
"This is the time you ask her to go to the gala. Not when your brain kicks in later on or tomorrow," Ray urged.
In the mail last week, we received invitations to the city's business gala in a couple of weeks as it was an opportunity for local businesses to network with others. At first, I just waved it off and decided that Peter could go for me since he dealt with the social aspect of the business. Earlier today, while I was holding Janine in my arms, I decided to request her attendance to go with me and thought that having her company would make the forced socialization of the situation much more agreeable. Besides that, I would have the loveliest date there by far.
"I agree; I'm going to ask her today after our busts," I responded, feeling a little nervous about it yet thrilled about the idea of her going as my date.
For the next hour before the next bust, we had a friendly banter.
The second bust wasn't as bad as the first, but it still wasn't our best work. I was out of sorts, still thinking about asking Janine to the gala, but I didn't feel like a complete wreck and helpless to the team. It was now five-thirty in the evening when we arrived back at HQ. Taking a deep breath, I walked downstairs to her desk after I took a shower and cleaned up. As I brushed my teeth, my hands were sweaty with the anxiety of asking Janine to the gala. I didn't put a suit on, but just some khaki pants and a long-sleeved red polo shirt. Breathing deeply, I approached her desk.
Janine
"Good afternoon Janine, ahem, how are you," Egon questioned politely, feeling my heart beating quickly in my chest.
"Well, thanks. How are you," I answered, smiling at me, glancing up from my computer screen.
"Better."
There was a lull in the conversation as my adorably handsome physicist swayed back and forth, with an extremely anxiousness that made him so adorable, in front of me, and I gave him a supportive smile, prompting him to continue. I knew that he had more to say because of his actions, and I felt excited at the possibilities. Finally, Egon requested,
" Would ...you ...please...Uhm, attend the gala...Uhm... with me? I would...ahem, consider it an honor...if you would join me?"
"I forgot all about the gala," I thought happily.
Impetuously, I popped up from my desk to give him a quick embrace while stating, "I'd love to!"
For a second, we grinned at each other as we held onto each other loosely in an embrace, ecstatically, before the phone rattled from my desk.
I spun around from Egon and towards my desk to answer the phone quickly, in an annoyed voice,
"Ghostbusters, whaddya want?"
As I took the message, I felt relieved that it was only one of Peter's girlfriends and not a client, so it didn't matter that I picked up the phone and remarked rudely to the caller.
"Egon, I leave in about an hour, and there are extra helpings of my Grandmother's world-famous pot roast at home waiting for me. You are welcome to eat with me if you would like it," I offered, shyly, after I hung up the phone.
"Yes," he replied rashly, with a toothless smile. I stood up from my desk with Dr. Venkman's message in hand and walked by him saying, flirtatiously, while batting my eyelashes,
"Great! I am going to give this to Peter, is there anything else I can help you with, Dr. Spengler?"
I knew that he enjoyed it when I flirted with him, so I laid it on thick.
"For now," he fired back suggestively, raising an eyebrow, and I simpered. Grinning, he said he would be ready at the end of my shift. As soon as we left the firehouse, we snogged outside enthusiastically.
" I have wanted to do that since you came back from the busts," I admitted afterward. Egon was playing with a lock of my hair that was out of place, absentmindedly, and that gave me the tingles.
"Me too, my angel," he agreed, as I rubbed my hand on his shirt slowly over his heart, and then he gave him another long kiss.
By seven after seven, we were at the subway station in Brooklyn and weren't far from my apartment, about seven minutes by foot. The normal ride back home was enhanced by having someone to talk to that wasn't a stranger or insane or even both, and Egon held my hand the whole time.
As we walked to my apartment, I mentioned with good humor, "I'm not sure how messy it is. There was no way I would have predicted that you would be coming home with me this morning."
Shrugging with an adorably sheepish grin on his lips, Egon nodded. I put the key in the door and opened it hoping that Wendy had cleaned, but she had not. There were some of her documents from her work scattered on the sofa, and I picked them up so he could sit down on the sofa after he strolled around my apartment. Before he sat down, Egon had picked up a course catalog guide for King's College.
After I turned on the oven to preheat it, I asked if he wanted anything to drink, but he declined, chatting me up as I retrieved the pot roast from the fridge. I carefully took the foil off. When the oven was ready, I put the roast in for fifty minutes and set a timer.
"You are going to love this pot roast," I commented, sitting next to him on the sofa at first, adding, "it is so good."
"It's one of my favorite meals."
Yawning, I lay down on my back on the sofa and draped my legs over his lap with a smile. Distractedly, Egon glanced up from the King's College course guide.
"What are you taking next semester," he asked in his deep voice, with interest.
"Don't know yet; I highlighted my choices on the other pages," I answered.
"Hmmm."
Since I felt like he was ignoring me, I grabbed the book and threw it on the ground with a bright smile on my face, like a spoiled child. At first, he looked slightly perturbed until I motioned for him to lie down with me. Then, as we faced each other and held on to each other tightly, Egon kissed me.
"How is your hand," I asked, afterward, looking at the bandages, noticing that they needed to be changed as red was seeping through.
"Hurts. I took some Advil earlier, but it has worn off since then," Egon replied, gazing into my eyes and admitted, " it hurts less around you, my Angel, though. That doesn't make any rational sense."
"Sometimes things don't make sense," I reminded him, kissing his lips.
"Apparently."
He hugged me tightly until I saw his bandages turning red still.
"OK, I am rebandaging this now and giving you Tylenol unless you are allergic," I stated, alarmed and sitting up.
"Don't get up, please," he complained, pulling me back down with his strong arms.
Agreeing, I laid back down then told him that I had to clean it later, then kissed him, and he agreed. Egon put both of his arms around my waist again, and I noticed that he looked exhausted. We fell asleep quickly. His arms around my body made me feel protected, and I cherished it.
My timer for the roast precipitously interrupted our nap forty-five minutes late, and I popped up to take it out of the oven to ensure it didn't burn, then set a ten-minute timer for it to cool. When I returned, Egon sat up and put his arm around my shoulder.
"Ten more minutes, and it's ready," I announced, playing with his arm hair by gently pulling on it. He shook his head and kissed the top of my head with a half-grin.
"Janine, I wanted to thank you again for quieting my anger down earlier. I honestly don't know what would have happened. You were very attentive and kind to take care of me," Egon complimented me then gave me a sweet kiss on the lips. I grinned up at him and held his right hand, softly rubbing my thumb over it. Then I leaned over and snogged him eagerly.
"You are the only one who could have talked me down," he added, gazing into my eyes as he spoke after we kissed and explained, "and those are three characteristics...of your personality ...that I like...about you...Janine, you are extremely warm, kind, and solicitous."
Shell shocked, I didn't respond, feeling very flattered.
" My anger wasn't directed at you but at Peter. He knows that I...Ahem... admire and ...care for you...Uhm...deeply, and shouldn't have said what he did," he mentioned with a blush in his cheeks and added, while caressing my cheek with his right index finger, "I would never intentionally hurt you, Janine."
I felt my eyes well up with tears and nodded. However, Egon wasn't done yet as he revealed softly with a distressed smile, " It's very onerous for me to discuss my feelings."
Lovingly, I squeezed his unhurt hand and kissed his plump lips quickly while saying, "I know, darling. Yes, I was uneasy about you because I have never seen you behave that way. When I saw the blood on the towel, I felt sick to my stomach with worry for you."
"I'm truly sorry, my Angel, if I frightened you. Honestly...my behavior horrifies me," he whispered, and his eyes flashed remorsefully as he spoke. I traced his strong jawline with my fingertips, then Egon took my hand to kiss it, and then nuzzled my neck with his nose. He began kissing my neck slowly, and I sighed happily as I enjoyed his nearness. Needless to say, we became lost in each other's kisses until the buzzer on my pot roast went off.
The dinner was a success, and Egon loved my Grandmother's pot roast recipe. After dinner, I rebandaged his hand and gave him some Tylenol. We spent the rest of the evening in each other's arms, conversing and making out.
"I'm so glad that you agreed to go to the gala with me," he whispered in my ear as he held me.
Dear Diary,
Egon defended me when Peter called me a bitch today at work during an argument. He didn't just defend me but threw Venkman against the wall in anger. Later, I assisted in calming down Egon after he punched glass in the lab- we held hands and had this very romantic moment. All of this reminded me of how much I cared for him. Then he kissed me after two weeks of avoiding contact, and they were just as great as I remembered. My desire seems to be increasing every time with every kiss and touch from him.
After the busts, Egon asked me to the gala next week, and then I invited him over to finish Grandmother's pot roast after my shift. We spent the evening together, lost in each other's arms in our little world.