Chapter 11. Confrontation

Harry set the coffee mug in front of Severus. The man was the same as always, Harry supposed. It was only Harry who had changed. It had been a couple months after Draco had first come to visit, a weeks after Tom had spoken to Harry, and thankfully, that was the only time Tom had spoken to Harry. It was summer now and the Aegis mark on his wrist had started to come in more visibly, like a scar, paler than his normal skin color, almost outlined in silver. It was small and blended well with the silver chain. To his relief, Severus had not noticed it.

"I finished the translation," Harry lied, throwing down the last few translated chapters onto the kitchen table. The only chapter missing was the one on the Aegis.

"Ah, thank you, Harry." Severus barely glanced at him as he pulled the papers towards himself. He was always so busy these days, brewing and researching nonstop. Only pausing on Fridays to seek out more news at Malfoy Manor, which was for the best, as Harry and Draco needed the time alone.

Harry considered the man before him. His prominent nose, regal in fact, intense black eyes, a voice as smooth as velvet, with words that could cut straight to the soul. Aegis or not, Harry was certain he had already liked the potions master in some capacity before. Hadn't he had that crush on the Half-Blood Prince back in sixth year? And that was when the Aegis was still keyed to Dumbledore…

Had Severus really cast the imperius curse on him? Yes, Harry could believe it. But had it just been that once or were there times he could not remember? Dumbledore had wielded his powers to keep traumatic memories from Harry's own mind. Was Severus perhaps unknowingly doing the same? Harry didn't think the man knew of the Aegis…perhaps he was overthinking it. A simple obliviate would have worked just as well.

"You're staring, Harry," Severus intone. "It's become a bad habit."

"Oh, I—" Harry flushed. "Sorry."

"What were you thinking about?" Severus asked, lifting his eyes for the first time, and fixing Harry with a curious expression. His eyes were so dark, so deep. Intense. Direct eye contact.

Harry abruptly stood up, his chair scraping the floor. "Why are you asking me when you can just pull it directly from my mind, Severus?"

Whatever Severus had been expecting, it wasn't that, but he didn't seem guilty. Didn't flush. Didn't offer any excuses. His eyes glinted ethereally and Harry almost regretted he had spoken. Well, it was too late to back out now.

"I don't have any occlumency shields, do I?" Harry asked, his chin jutting up. He was sick of the way Tom had gotten to him, but if there was a grain of truth from the mouth of the snake, he had to know. "Was there ever really a plan, or was that a lie too?"

"You think the Dark Lord would have entrusted you to me if he didn't have complete and utter faith in my loyalty, Harry?"

"He did it to test you," Harry reasoned. "He gave you an ultimatum."

"Look at the facts—no, not what you thought you heard—look at the facts. You are in my care. He would never have given you to me if he thought for one second I'd let you escape."

Despite Severus' menacing tone, the Aegis did not seem concerned. Harry hadn't actually displeased Severus by his question.

"I don't believe you," Harry said calmly.

Severus stared at him for a second more before releasing a laugh. "That, Harry, is the wisest thing you've ever said."

Harry glared. "No, I mean it Severus. I don't know what you hope to achieve by confusing me, but I can't be led around blindfolded anymore. Now, explain it to me. Do I have occlumency shields or not?"

"At times…"

"At times?" Harry asked.

"It seems that there are times where I can graze your surface thoughts, but nothing like before. There are other times, where I can't get a single thing."

The Aegis told Harry he was telling the truth.

"Like what?" Harry asked. "What thoughts have you taken from me?"

His wording seemed to catch Severus off-guard. His eyes narrowed. "How did you find out about your occlumency shields anyway, Harry?" he asked silkily.

"Draco," Harry said simply, already prepared. "My first night here. He knew we hadn't been, hadn't been, you know…" His cheeks tinged pink.

Severus thought that over for a second. So it seemed the boy could hold his tongue, but he wasn't supposed to be keeping secrets from him. Not if they were to work together to get out of there. "I hadn't realized you had become close to Draco," Severus said. "You two hardly speak two words when I'm here."

"I hardly think invading my mind counts as close," Harry shot back. "Besides, he wasn't able to get anything important, like your secret plan to help us escape."

"Obviously not, if we're both still alive!" Severus sighed. "However it is you are able to occlude has been sufficient. I didn't think it was worth bringing up and explaining the nuances between what you're able to do and what it's supposed to be like. Perhaps I was wrong…" he glanced at Harry critically.

He wondered for a moment if he should simply dose the boy with veritaserum again, but the last time he had done so, Harry had simply vomited and not answered any of his questions. Severus had promptly obliviated him afterwards. But even obliviating him had been risky. The boy's mind was a maze, the landscape entirely different from what it had been during their occlumency lessons in fifth year. Then, it had seemed flat, full of childish thoughts, hopes and dreams. Now, it was something Severus could not understand, as if there was some sort of protection in place.

In a way…it almost reminded Severus of his own mental defenses just more twisted, but that was absurd. He wondered if it was Albus' doing or perhaps the horcrux growing stronger…He should like to look inside again, perhaps, with the boy's permission he would be able to get further.

"It might be prudent, Harry, if we were to resume occlumency lessons again."

Harry stilled. "Why? You said it yourself. Whatever I have is enough to keep Vol- Him out and apparently, good enough to keep you out too."

True. Severus forced his face into an expression of concern. He would have to come up with another reason. "I think…that it could help curb your nightmares." Also true. "You may be able to block me from your mind while you sleep, but you still speak aloud. Occlumency could ameliorate that." Severus didn't mind one bit that he had to cradle Harry to his chest in the dead of night. He relished it even, but he had no other explanations that would work.

Harry bit his lip. He knew he talked in his sleep. Ron had told him so…but surely he hadn't let anything slip that was too important, for Severus would have confronted him about it, and so far, he hadn't. Which meant Severus didn't have enough clues to put everything together yet. But if Harry slipped up… then again, occlumency lessons would provide Severus with ample opportunity to try and break into his mind and learn everything. Could he really risk that?

Severus waited patiently for the answer. Harry wasn't sure if refusing was a good idea. It would imply he had something to hide…And the Aegis had protected his mind thus far, hadn't it?

"Alright…" Harry finally said, praying that the Aegis wouldn't betray him now.

"Good."

-o-o-o-

They didn't actually practice occlumency that day. Or in the month that followed. Neither of them brought it up again. Not even when Severus held Harry through his nightmares. Not even when Harry awoke to find himself still wrapped in Severus' arms. If Severus wanted the nightmares to stop, he might have tried a little harder to appear like comforting him wasn't the greatest bliss on earth. As it was, Harry couldn't help but think Severus looked much more content than he had in a long time as he gently nudged the potions master awake.

"I should just stay in your room," Harry joked with a yawn, as they rolled out of bed. "It would save us some time…You know, I never do have nightmares in your bed."

Severus just grunted. "You're probably just too stressed and tired from pretending with Draco all day. Deception is like a muscle. Without practice, it can certainly be draining."

"Ah, yes…that's probably it." Harry frowned down at his hands, trying inconspicuously to see the faint outline of the Aegis mark. It made him oddly happy when he saw it, like he belonged somewhere finally, a place just for him. "It probably has nothing to do with the fact I just feel safer with you."

Severus stiffened visibly. "Pardon?"

Had he said that bit out loud? "Er, nothing," Harry said, absently rubbing his wrist. "It doesn't mean anything."

"Hmmm."

Did Severus seem disappointed at that? Harry couldn't understand him these days. At first, it seemed that Severus would never stop working on his potion, but now, it seemed he was often out of the house. Harry never asked where he went though. It was likely Severus would just say he was going out. Sometimes, Harry knew it was a Death Eater meeting because he'd get visions of it, but Severus had been called to fewer and fewer meetings lately. He wondered if that meant something about Severus in particular, or if the Dark Lord was just too busy trying to build a new nation to keep his minions in line.

"What are you doing?" Severus asked sharply, his voice suddenly by Harry's ear.

Harry started. "What-?"

"You keep touching your damnable hand, now let me see it!"

Automatically, Harry hid his hands behind him. He hadn't realized he had been drawing so much attention to it. He would have to be more careful in the future.

"Let me see!" Severus demanded.

"It's nothing!" Harry said, thinking fast. "It happened a long time ago."

A frown marred the man's features as Harry slowly and carefully revealed the back of his hand, making sure to keep his palm towards the floor. The words were clear as day.

I must not tell lies.

"Who did this to you?" Severus hissed, his voice no louder than a whisper. It put Harry on edge, but he knew the danger promised in his words was not for him.

Harry pretended to hesitate before relenting with a heavy sigh. "Umbridge."

"While you were serving all those detentions, I suppose?" Harry nodded. "Is it bothering you now? It doesn't appear to be infected, but one never knows." He looked into Harry's eyes then, and Harry could see protectiveness shining in his depths. "Blood quills are dark artefacts, Harry, and I doubt the toad sterilized it properly. It wouldn't surprise me if this continued to flare up. Has it been bothering you all these weeks?"

Harry marveled at the feeling of Severus' hand holding his, examining it gently. He had never had someone care for him like this before. Not even Poppy had gazed upon him like he were something precious and…loved. Harry almost felt bad about the deception.

"No, it just tingles sometimes," Harry said, like it was a confession. "I think it's just a trauma memory."

Severus nodded at that and gently released his hand. "I might have some salve that will get rid of that."

"You do?" Harry asked, and for once, he was genuinely surprised. He let it show on his face.

"I am a potions master," Severus said with mock bravado. "What good would I be if I didn't have healing potions on me in my line of work?"

Harry laughed and before Severus could protest, wrapped his arms around him in a tight hug, the opportunity too good to waste to settle the Aegis. "Thank you! That would be brilliant!"

Yes, it would be brilliant, Severus thought to himself as he basked in the warmth of Harry's attention. He felt appreciated, in a way that neither Albus nor the Dark Lord had ever made him feel. Appreciated, respected…desired…It was this last thought that gave Severus pause. He would have liked to tell himself that he was only helping Harry to see him smile again. For the boy's own health and well-being. But there was a side that was increasingly pushing to the surface. When he had seen the old toad's marks upon Harry's skin, he had been filled with unbelievable rage. Someone had dared to carve into Harry? His Harry? Offering a healing salve was entirely self-serving. He needed to erase all traces of her from his skin. It didn't bother him that Harry was hurt, that the scar continued to bring him phantom pains. It bothered him that he hadn't put it there…

"I'm going out today," Severus heard himself saying. "I will be able to have your salve by dinner." He had to get away, clear his mind. With obvious effort, he extracted himself from Harry's arms. He wasn't a monster. He wasn't. "And, if you think it will help, you may stay in my rooms any time you wish." He had to leave before he said something else. Something stupid. Something that sounded suspiciously like I feel affection for you.