Azula ate her dumplings in the break room, trying to rest her aching feet. She was feeling especially annoyed recently. She narrowed her eyes at Jin, happily eating her lunch.
Ever since Jin had woken Azula up that night, in the midst of her nightmare, she had been perfectly decent to Azula.
What was her game?
Surely, she was trying to lull Azula into a false sense of security. She was going to try to use that moment of weakness against Azula. Azula remembered the nightmare she had woken up from. A nightmare she's had many times.
Orange flame circled the Agni Kai field. Azula was drowning in black water. Her limbs couldn't move. Her knees chafed against the grate.
"No!" she cried out. "Zuzu, please! NO!"
Zuko made the circular motions she knew so well, electricity sparking at his fingertips. He smiled at Azula, and she felt colder than she ever had before.
"Zuko! NOOOOO!"
Azula shook her head to banish the vision. She would not dwell on weakness.
Ever since that night, Jin had not treated Azula any different. And that was the weird thing. Surely, she should be throwing Azula knowing glances, pitying looks, sly smiles at knowing Azula's secret.
Jin didn't do any of that. She greeted Azula in the morning with a cheery wave, parted in the evening the same way, and smiled without any sign of duplicity or insincerity. Azula just couldn't understand. No way anyone could be that genuinely sweet.
0-0-0
Jin did her best to continue treating Azula the same. She knew the princess probably wouldn't want to be treated any different. She had already commanded Jin to keep it a secret, and she probably wouldn't want any attention brought to anything being out of the ordinary. So, she felt determined to treat Azula no differently than she had before.
She noticed Azula watching her more than before. Jin tried to disarm the tension by smiling sweetly at Azula, who would scoff and turn away. Jin hoped everything was alright.
She remembered that Azula had muttered "Zuzu" in her sleep. Did her nightmare have anything to do with Fire Lord Zuko? He had seemed so awkward and silly and kind as Lee. What had the Fire Lord done to Azula to make her fear him in her sleep?
Jin tried not to dwell on such things. It wasn't her business. Azula clearly wanted it to be forgotten, so Jin would do her best to forget. It was the least she could do.
0-0-0
The day was the same as any other she experienced. Azula was on counter duty, frowning at the notebook where they recorded sales, and thinking it would be better if they included which tea they sold in the record, when they came in.
A Fire Nation family.
Azula sat up. This was her first glimpse of home since…
Well, technically Uncle, but did he really count when he settled so well into the Earth Kingdom? And she had the spicy noodle mix, but that wasn't a person.
These, these were her people.
She stood up at the counter. Jin immediately came over.
"You take care of them, I'll get the counter," said Jin.
Azula made her way over to the Fire Nation family. A mother, a father, a young boy, and an even younger girl, all dressed in that beautiful, beautiful red she missed so much.
Azula approached them, bowing in a Fire Nation style. "Welcome to the Jasmine Dragon. May I interest you in any of our specials?"
"Let me guess, jasmine?" laughed the father.
"Honey!" said the wife, giving the husband a playful slap on the arm. She turned to Azula. "Yes, we'd love to hear the specials."
Azula listed the specials for them. The little girl was looking up at her the entire time. She tried to ignore it, but the girl's gaze bored into her.
As she finished, and the parents thought about their order, the little girl spoke up.
"You're so pretty!" she said, with wide, honey-colored eyes.
Azula stared at the girl. It was something she heard time and time again from customers, and she knew it, but something about hearing it from a Fire National made her feel warm inside. Azula barely knew what to do. Her mouth twitched into an awkward smile.
"Th… thank you…"
"I love the way you do your hair," said the mother. "It reminds me of the Fire Nation."
Azula felt her heart clench. Home.
"I… I am a Fire National."
"Really?" asked the mother.
The boy rolled his eyes. "Of course, Mom! Didn't you see the way she bowed! She made the flame with her hands!"
Azula smirked at the boy. Her efforts, however tiny, did not go unnoticed.
"What is your name, dear?" asked the mother. Azula almost responded with her actual name, before faltering.
"A—Mianju. My name is Mianju."
"It's very nice to meet you, Mianju. I am Kei, and this is my husband Jian, and our children, Lu and Hina," said the mother, gesturing to the boy and girl respectively. "How did you come to Ba Sing Se?"
"I am here with my uncle," said Azula. Not a lie, but not the whole truth either.
Kei nodded. "Yes, it's quite a magnificent city."
Azula didn't answer that. She hated Ba Sing Se. She hated Ba Sing Se for a long, long time, even before she was forced to come.
"Mommy, can I try the bubble tea?" asked Hina. Kei turned to Azula.
"What is bubble tea?" she asked.
Azula bit back her grimace. She had never tried the stuff, but she thought it sounded ridiculous.
"It's tea with a generous portion of milk, served with tapioca pearls which give it its 'bubble' name," explained Azula.
Hina's eyes widened. "Wow! Can I get it, Mommy? Can I?"
Kei nodded. If you really want to, dear. Why don't you order from Miss Mianju, like a big girl?"
Hina turned to Azula. "Miss Mianju, can I have a bubble tea, please?"
Hina was, objectively, adorable. Azula, who had zero positive experience with small children, did not know what to do when faced with such pure cuteness. She felt a warm, fuzzy feeling in her chest, and the corners of her mouth quirked.
"Which flavor?" she asked.
Hina's eyes, somehow, got even wider. "There are different flavors?"
"Yes. There's the classic version, which uses plain black tea and milk, taro, moon peach, pear, strawberry…"
"Ooo, strawberry! Can I have strawberry? Please?"
Azula nodded, then looked over to the son, Lu.
"Um, could I have the, uh, taro bubble tea?" he asked.
Azula noted their orders on the small notepad she held. She looked to the parents.
"That honestly sounds quite interesting," said Kei. "I think I'll get a classic bubble tea. Honey?"
She turned to her husband.
"I'll have a classic as well," said Jian.
Azula wrote these down and went over to the window that connected the kitchens to the main dining area.
"She's very cute, isn't she?" asked Jin's voice.
Azula turned around and glared at Jin. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"That little girl," Jin said, nodding her head in the direction of Hina. "She's adorable."
Azula rolled her eyes.
"Don't pretend like I can't see that smile," said Jin.
"What?" Azula suddenly became aware of her own facial muscles. She was smiling! And she didn't even know about it!
Azula schooled her expression back to neutrality. Who was she, Ty Lee?
Turning back towards the window, Azula tore the page out of her notepad and handed it to Uncle, who scanned the orders. He was grinning.
"Ah, it seems my bubble tea idea is catching on!" he said. Azula rolled her eyes again and left to wait on the other tables.
A short while later, Azula brought the family their orders. Four cups of bubble tea, each with a wooden straw, made their way from her tray to the family's table. The family members thanked her, and began to drink their tea.
The boy took one large sip before promptly spitting it out. "What the heck is that?" he said aloud.
Azula didn't register what he said, because he managed to spit right onto her apron.
Ew. Ew. Ew ew ew ew ew—
"Lu!" scolded the mother, before turning to Azula. "I'm so sorry about that, dear, please, let me…"
Kei reached out with a napkin and dabbed Azula's apron. Azula stood there, shocked. Then, Kei placed her hand directly on the wet spot. Azula felt warmth on her stomach, and steam rolled off of the apron from underneath Kei's hand.
Azula met Kei's gaze. Kei smiled sweetly.
"Firebending can be very useful. I also like to heat up the bath water with my bending, nothing feels more heavenly than a hot bath…"
Azula could agree, but she was too busy trying to reboot her brain. First of all, she could have been drying her clothes with her bending this whole time, instead of hanging them on a clothesline? That would save her so much time! It clearly took great control though, not to burn the clothing.
Secondly, and more importantly, Kei didn't seem to realize that Azula was also a firebender. Azula was probably the best firebender in the world. Zuko hadn't beaten her in an Agni Kai, the Water Peasant did. And yet the very thing Azula spend so much time and effort to perfect, Kei didn't even suspect she had! Princess Azula was the greatest firebender in the world.
Tea Server Mianju Hong was not.
Kei removed her hand from the apron. The formerly wet spot was now completely dry, nary a scorch mark to be seen.
"There you go, dear, good as new," said Kei. "I'm so sorry about that. Please forgive my son, he is very sensitive to new textures in his food."
Azula could hear Jian chiding Lu just behind Kei. "I know it feels weird, but you can't do that. If you need to spit something out, try to do it into the cup, or in a napkin. Apologize to Miss Mianju."
Lu looked at Azula, face as red as his clothes. "Sorry, Miss Mianju."
Azula nodded at him. What was she supposed to say? It wasn't alright. She wanted to slap that child into next week. But she couldn't make a scene, couldn't attract the attention of the Dai Li (Azula could feel the prickling on her neck that signaled she was being closely watched. She had no idea where the Dai Li were, but they were never far), and she couldn't lay her hands on one of her countrymen after so long away from the Fire Nation. Was it really a month and a half already?
"Mmm! This is really good!" said Hina. Azula broke eye contact with Lu and looked to the little girl, happily slurping her bubble tea. "The bubbles feel funny in my mouth!"
Azula nodded at the family. "If that is all, I will be on my way." She bowed to them, and went off to tend to someone else.
0-0-0
Back at their hotel, the Fire Nation family relaxed.
"That bubble tea was very interesting," said Kei. "I didn't expect it to be so good, but I was surprised."
"I liked the bubbles!" said Hina. Lu rolled his eyes.
"The bubbles were stupid. Ruined the whole thing. Kept trying to sneak into my mouth."
Hina stuck out her tongue at Lu. "At least I didn't spit all my tea out onto Mianju!"
"Shut up!"
"Kids," said Jian sternly. Both children looked bashful.
"Sorry," they said together.
"That Mianju girl was quite interesting too," said Kei.
Hina perked right up. "She was so pretty! She looked like a princess!"
Kei nodded. "Yes, she was very cute. She reminded me of someone, though. I just can't for the life of me figure out who."
0-0-0
Two days after the family came in, it was Azula's day off again. She sat in the living area of the apartment, quietly reading Secret Tunnel of Love.
She didn't like it. She didn't. But she already got so far into the book, she might as well see it through. Princess Azula wasn't a quitter, after all.
Speaking of, she wished Suki would quit looking at her with barely veiled amusement. It was distracting. And irritating.
"Stop staring at me," said Azula for the millionth time.
"No thanks," replied Suki.
Azula scowled and shifted slightly to the left. The sun was warmer in that spot.
A knock came from the door. "Delivery for Mianju?" said the voice on the other side.
Azula frowned. Delivery? She wasn't expecting anything. Who would send her something?
She padded over to the door and opened it. Taking the box, she turned back into the apartment and looked at it, confused. Hesitantly, she opened the lid. The Kyoshi Warriors were looking intently at her.
Immediately, Azula shut the lid and ran to her room.
"Azula!" Suki called out. Azula ignored her, slamming the door shut behind her. "Azula!"
"Leave me alone!" Azula hissed. She could hear the floorboards creak outside of her room, but the warriors did not open the door. At least she had that tiny semblance of privacy.
Azula ripped the box open once more. She couldn't believe what she was looking at.
She ignored the two letters folded up inside the box, and took out the tiny red booklet with a shiny, golden three-pointed flame on the cover. A Fire Nation passport. She opened it to the first page.
名：阿祖拉
位：公主
Name: Azula
Title: Princess
Azula couldn't believe it. Her name. Her name. In bold characters, right there, in an official document.
She looked down the rest of it.
Date of Birth: 21st day of the 6th month of the 65th year of the Reign of Fire Lord Azulon
Place of Birth: Royal Caldera City
Nationality: Fire Nation
Sex: Female
Hair: Dark Brown
Eyes: Gold
Bending Status: Firebender
Signature of Holder: x_ _
The holder of this passport is under the protection of the Fire Nation. All whom it may concern are hereby requested to permit the citizen of the Fire Nation named herein to pass without delay or hindrance and in case of need to give all lawful aid and protection.
Azula felt tears prickle in her eyes. There it was. Printed in ink, there it was. She was Azula. She was a princess of the Fire Nation. She was a firebender. Her vision blurred, and Azula could no longer contain the tears. She let out a shaky breath as she wiped her face.
Compose yourself. You are not weak.
Azula opened her eyes and took the letters out of the box. Her eyes widened when she saw what was underneath the letters.
An old, somewhat ratty, turtleduck plushie.
Hotman Waddles?
Azula tenderly took out the toy from the box. It was old, its colors had faded, and one of the legs had clearly been ripped off and sewn back on again.
Azula had that toy since she was a baby. When she was three, she named the turtleduck "Hotman Waddles," as she thought the outdated term was the peak of comedy back then.
She threw the plushie out of her room when she was five. She had been bending for nearly a year, and she was a "big girl" who "didn't need dumb toys." She thought it had been thrown out, or burned, or something.
What kind of power play was this?
Azula put down the turtleduck plushie and picked up the first letter. It was from Zuko.
Dear Azula,
I hope this finds you well. Uncle's been keeping us updated, and he had a feeling that you missed the Fire Nation.
He requested that we send a Fire Nation passport, which I have placed in this package. Mom is also sending other things from the Fire Nation that you might want. I'm not exactly sure what, since she's the one putting this package together, but hopefully it helps.
You will notice in your passport that it still says that you are a princess. That is not a mistake. Your title has not been rescinded. I hope that sometime, you'll be able to come home.
Honorably,
Your Brother,
Zuko
Azula felt tears prickle her eyes again. Stupid Zuzu, she thought. So sentimental.
She picked up the other letter and felt a twinge at the sight of her mother's curly calligraphy.
Dearest Daughter,
Iroh told me that you're having difficulty adjusting to Ba Sing Se. I understand how it feels to be a stranger in a strange place.
I've put together this care package for you. I hope this helps you feel less homesick.
I've included two Fire Nation National Flags. One small one on a stick, that you can easily wave or place wherever, and one standard-sized one for you to pin to the wall of your bedroom. Don't tell Zuko, but I actually took one of the official ones that they raise outside of the palace every morning. I figure they won't miss one flag out of however many they use.
I've also included a book with Fire Nation recipes, and I've marked which pages have your favorites, as well as recipes that I don't know if you've had but that I think you would like. I know Fire Nation spices might be hard to come by in the Earth Kingdom, so I've included several small bottles of those as well.
Lastly, I found Hotman Waddles. I know you're almost an adult (the legal age of majority has been reset to eighteen, like it was before the reign of Fire Lord Azulon), but I figured you might want something familiar. I was looking for something that you used to own, and one of the servants told me she had saved some of the old toys that you had thrown away. I remember how much you loved Hotman Waddles as a child, and I figured he was an ideal companion. He won't judge, or condescend, or give bad advice. He won't tell anyone if you cry, or get angry, or feel happy, or hug him. I know it might seem silly, but I hope our esteemed Hotman brings you some comfort.
Please let me know if there is anything else you would like. Is there anything that is difficult to get in the Earth Kingdom that you would like me to send to you? Any books or plays you would like to read? Anything I can do for you?
I love you, Azula. If you ever need or want anything, just ask. I am here for you.
I love you forever,
Mom
Azula's breathing hitched. She dug through the box.
Sure enough, bottles of spice, a cookbook, and two folded-up Fire Nation flags were in there. Azula felt her breathing speed up.
Her mother remembered Hotman Waddles after all this time? Someone had saved it? She remembered her father telling her that she had to be strong, that she didn't need stuffed animals or toys. And now her mother sends her a toy that she thought was long gone, that she secretly regretted throwing away?
Azula felt a hollowness grow in her chest. Tears slipped freely down her face. Her breathing became erratic. She felt warm and empty and confused all at the same time.
She wanted to hate her mother. To rage and say she didn't need any of this. But her mother had just sent her the things she secretly wanted, even if she never admitted it.
Not even to herself.
Azula picked up Hotman Waddles and hugged him to her chest as tiny sobs racked her body. Hotman Waddles felt like home.
0-0-0
Suki and Rin stood at attention outside Azula's room. They could hear her crying.
Rin shot Suki a look with an arched eyebrow, one that said, Should we do something about this?
Suki shook her head. Let her have privacy, she thought.
Rin glanced at the door, curious what was in the box.
Suki stared straight ahead, trying not to feel any sympathy for the monster behind the door. The monster that (almost) killed Aang and imprisoned her girls. The monster that liked trashy romance novels and lounging in warm spots on the couch. The monster that sounded like her heart was cracking into pieces.
It wasn't working very well.
0-0-0
Iroh came home that night to a silent house. He couldn't see Azula or the Kyoshi Warriors anywhere.
He made his way into the house, wondering if they were out shopping again. His unspoken question was answered when he saw Rin and Arna standing outside the door to Azula's room.
The two warriors nodded to him, and silently made their way over. "She's been in there all day," whispered Rin. "She had some lunch, but hasn't come out. She was crying earlier. I think she's asleep now."
Iroh nodded. "Thank you both. Give Suki my best."
The two warriors nodded and left the apartment. Iroh tiptoed over to Azula's room.
"Azula?" he said softly, rapping the door with his knuckles. No response.
"Azula, I'm going to open the door, okay?" Silence.
Iroh nudged the door open as gently as he could. He saw Azula curled up on the futon, breathing evenly, a blanket over her. A box laid open next to her bed.
Wrapped in her arms was an old stuffed turtleduck plushie.
Iroh smiled and pulled the door closed as quietly as he could manage. It seemed her Fire Nation mementos had arrived. Iroh was truly pleased to see Hotman Waddles again. He remembered when Azula would make Lu Ten have tea parties with the turtleduck plushie when she was three or four. Lu Ten always had pretended that Hotman Waddles was a real person, and would even ask how "the esteemed Hotman" was doing. Both of them were saddened when Azula said she threw him away because "big girls don't need toys."
And if big girls don't need toys, then Iroh will pretend he saw nothing at all. Knowing that his niece could once more hug an old friend was more than enough for him.
Author's Note:
So, according to the Avatar Wiki, Azula was born 85 years after the Air Nomad genocide. The reign of Fire Lord Azulon started 20 years after the Air Nomad Genocide. Doing the math, that means she was born in the 65th year of his reign. I figured the Fire Nation would keep track of the years by using the reign of the ruler as the metric. Also, I made her birthday June 21, which is the day the summer solstice most often falls on (I liked the theory that Azula was born on the summer solstice, while Zuko was born in the winter, perhaps even on the winter solstice).
I hope everything came across well! Please let me know what you think! Comments are very appreciated!
:D