Upstead (First Kiss)

Chapter 11

Hello guys! I am back with another chapter and I wouldn't hesitate to say that this is one of my favorites. It has everything we have been looking for and I am happy that I got to the point where I could write it. I am ever grateful for all the generous comments (and I have read all of them), they make my day. Hope you enjoy. :)

The honest confession that Jay had offered Hailey was both overwhelming and sweet. Hailey had been shocked to hear him express his true feelings but a part of her was delighted that he had done it. It made her feel so special and so wanted. But, she couldn't bring herself to open up anymore to Jay. She had already shared more than she had with anymore before, and she didn't feel comfortable in losing all control. She was glad that Jay had not tried to make her speak or confess to anything. All she wished for now was this trip to end so that she would be away from Jay and process her thoughts.

They spent the remaining two days as though nothing had happened between them. But the fact remained that that attitude had made it more awkward for them, at least for Hailey. Jay was trying his best to act normal and surprisingly he was succeeding because his happiness was in only looking at Hailey and he could do that all day long. He was revelling just being present with her. Finally they had to leave and Hailey was relieved that the moment had arrived.

It was past six in the evening when Jay dropped Hailey off at her place. He had offered to stay but she had politely refused thinking she wouldn't manage another night with him around. She really needed her own time to figure out what she was going to do about this situation that was until a few days back absolutely unprecedented. She spent most of the night trying to find a solution, but her hidden motive was fear to sleep. She wasn't sure if the nightmares had stopped for good, they could resurface at any point and she would have to deal with them on her own now. Nonetheless, she survived the night and she was thankful for that fact. She felt ready to join her team now and her team welcomed her with open arms the following morning. She received a hearty hug from Atwater and Ruzek and Kim simply hugged her as though they were sisters and couldn't live apart. Voight himself decided to give Hailey an encouraging hug and that being done the team was set for work. Suddenly Rojas appeared from the kitchen and Hailey was surprised to see her. She had gone for an undercover stint since the last week and nobody had heard from her, until apparently now. She had obviously heard what had happened with Hailey and hugged Hailey assuring her. As they parted both friends exchanged a look that suggested they would talk about this later. It seemed Adam was in the mood to make everyone laugh, "Hey Hailey, why don't you give Halstead a hug? Poor fellow's left out."

At that Hailey's eyes widened but she controlled herself quickly and took the comment sportingly. She was smiling as the others were, but Adam seemed to be pretty serious about the matter. Jay was as uncomfortable as her. She knew there was no backing out of this so she approached the man that claimed to love her and gave him the most awkward hug in the history of this planet. Jay made sure he didn't touch her more than required. They parted eyes locking for a moment, in which many things were conveyed but a third person wouldn't be able to read a single thing in them. As the welcoming of Hailey came to an end Voight began with the new case. He assigned all of them their work and was off to his office. Kevin and Vanessa were headed to collect surveillance footage from the crime scene. Adam and Kim were off to interview a suspect who had been brought in and Hailey and Jay were assigned to pick up another possible suspect. As they moved towards their truck Hailey had to say, "I am sorry about earlier. I didn't think Adam would persist."

Jay turned towards her and brushed it off, "Don't worry about it."

The irony remained that Adam was probably the one who would bring them closer, thought Jay as he entered the truck. He had to smile at that thought. He had been there for Hailey when she was battling her feelings for him. And now it almost seemed that he wanted them to be together. Life was strange if one observed carefully.

Days went by in this manner. Hailey was still battling her feelings now having forgotten the reason as well. She just knew that she couldn't let this happen again. But this constant inner fight was not helping her one bit, all her energy was drained out trying to calm the chaos in her. Until one night she couldn't take it any longer, she had to make a decision at that point. And she did. Ten minutes later she was knocking on Jay's door hoping he wasn't asleep. He opened the door in a few moments and Hailey was slightly embarrassed and shy to see him shirtless. She tried her best to keep her eyes on his face and began, "Jay, we need to talk. I am sorry for coming over like this."

"Sure, come on in," Jay said simply and letting her enter.

As she was settling down he quickly put on a T-shirt, hoping that his bare body would not falter Hailey in what she wanted to say. As he sat down beside her it was clear to him that she had been racking her brain about something. He asked, willing to help her, "What's the matter Hailey?"

Hailey exhaled loudly and looked at him, thinking that she was actually going to do this. His eyes were fixed on her with no particular expression. She opened her mouth to speak, all the while Jay was observing her every movement, "Jay, I don't know how to tell you but," and she trailed off unable to complete her sentence.

Jay kept looking at her but he didn't speak, he wanted her to let everything out. Realising Jay was not going to say anything she tried continuing on these lines, "After the day in the park you got in my head and I couldn't get our conversation out of my mind." She paused, giving herself enough time to formulate her next words, "It made me realise that I needed to tell you something." Another pause in the hope of Jay taking the lead now, but in vain. "Jay… I," she couldn't, she just couldn't.

Jay sensed her hesitation and moved slightly towards her. He gently placed his hands on her face and said looking her directly in the eye, "I love you too Hailey."

The cat was out of the bag now, even though Hailey had struggled to say it. There was a clear blush on Hailey's face now and she felt embarrassed that she was swayed so quickly. Jay had a slight smile on his face now, and boy did be look good, thought Hailey. He was not letting go of her face and they were both still looking at each other intently. Hailey's eyes fell on his lips for the briefest moment and that was all the signal he needed. He lowered his head slightly and placed his lips softly on hers, this time there was no resistance from her. She let go the moment his lips touched hers. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world. The first time they had kissed in the bull pen seemed nothing in comparison to this magical moment. Hailey was literally floating and if this continued she would probably never be able to come down from there. How could a man be so gentle and soft and still not lose his masculinity? At that moment Jay didn't care about his masculinity or his manhood, all he cared about was him being perfect for his girl, and it seemed this was the only thing that would matter to him anymore. He deepened the kiss and that forced Hailey to almost lie down on the couch, Jay hovering over her. She didn't mind, in fact she wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him closer. This moment that they were both sharing was absolute bliss and would be etched in their memories forever. Jay trailed his hands around her side and reached the hem of her T-shirt. The moment he tried to get it off Hailey's hands were on his, firmly denying that. Her reaction felt like the one she had given him when he had seen her wounds and he knew better than to continue. He looked up hoping to get a signal as to how to continue this, but Hailey took that opportunity and gently pushed him off of her. They were again seated side by side, Hailey clearing her throat and Jay wondering what he had done wrong. Hailey began, "I can't do that Jay, I just can't. You have to understand please."

"I don't understand what the proble"— he asked genuinely wondering what the matter was.

But he was interrupted immediately, "No Jay. I can't, please. You have to understand."

Jay was slightly taken aback by the sudden change of tone but he nodded. He wouldn't do it if she wasn't ready, because the last thing he needed was to lose her trust. He said finally, accepting what it was, "Alright, I am sorry."

Hailey looked genuinely relieved by that comment. And Jay couldn't help but wonder how she attempted to balance things before they got out of hand. She was concerned that this would affect him but she tried her best not to make it appear as though it was something ridiculous or futile. She knew it meant a lot to him and therefore she wanted to make sure he was fine with her reactions as well. And now he knew how much it meant to her as well. After understanding this Jay realised that this was something that didn't even involve him in the first place, it was a battle with herself and the terror that Booth had brought about. He knew from that point onwards, that whatever was going to happen between them, he would always make sure she was on the same page. He would never let her down or make it seem as though her problems were nothing. He was always going to be by her side.

Well, this concludes the chapter and I am happy that they have both confessed, at least partially. It was long due. And I really hope we get to see something of the sort in the following episodes. Please comment and share your thoughts, I would really appreciate that. I hope I have fulfilled everyone's wish (including mine) in this chapter. Thank you so much for being part of this. :)