Again, sorry for the delay! Still planning to finish this, just takes longer than usual. Please stick around till the end, whenever that may be :) Enjoy!

Chapter 25: Erza and Riku's Holiday - Part 1

The first day of our vacation started with a bucket of water. Erza and I put it next to the bed the night before. Kind of a miracle that we pulled it off now that I think about it, because we were both a bit tipsy when leaving the guild.

The nightmare came, as usual. I set myself on fire, Erza woke me up by emptying the bucket over my head.

'Ah!' I say, sitting up straight and falling right back into my pillow. I always forget I can't really move the first few minutes. While I force the dark flames back inside of me Erza stands beside the bed, still in her pyjamas, waiting. Since this is my third time waking up like this the scene isn't that dramatic anymore, but I can tell she's worried anyway.

When I'm in control again I smile at her. 'Morning.'

Something changes in her face. The frown between her eyebrows disappears, her mouth relaxes. She's putting on a mask. 'Hey.'

She turns around, now facing my closet. 'You have an awful sense of style. Or rather none at all.'

'Huh?' I push myself up and lean on one elbow. Just then I notice the entire closet is empty. There are two piles of clothes on the floor before it, one clearly bigger than the other. 'What are you doing?'

Erza walks over to the bigger pile, grabs the shirt that's on top, holds it out in front of her, looks at it, then throws it on the smaller pile. 'We're definitely going shopping.'

'We are?' I say, half yawning. 'I don't need-'

Erza throws a sweater in my face. 'This one has holes in it!'

I sit up, look at the sweater, which seems fine to me. 'Did you get any sleep at all? I didn't scream, did I?'

'A little,' Erza answers without even looking up. 'Why do you have three different sizes of shoes? Or perhaps I should be more surprised you even have three pairs of shoes.'

I stare at her and wonder why she's acting like this. Sure, I'm crazy about her, but I don't like it when she pretends to be chipper. She's not like that.

I push the soaked blanket off me and step out of the bed. 'I'm sorry.'

She's now looking at some brown pants, which probably used to be white. 'It's not a crime to wear different sizes. I'm just wondering whether your feet can take it. Must be-'

'Not that.' I take her hand. 'I'm sorry.'

She drops the trousers on the bigger pile. 'You don't have to keep saying that. This is just how it is.'

She sounds frustrated. Not with me, but with you.

'I know,' I say, 'but we'll figure it out. Right?'

She looks at my hand holding hers and sighs. 'Right.' Then she leans in and quickly kisses me on the cheek. 'Now go take a shower. I want to leave within the hour.'

I'm still not convinced, but I guess this is how honest we can be with each other right now.

'Yes sir,' I mumble. 'So what am I allowed to wear, then?'

She points to the smaller pile.

'Where are we going?' I ask when we're finally out the door. Erza stopped by her dorm while I was in the shower and came back with the giant backpack she always carries when going on quests. I half jokingly asked her if we needed all that to go shopping, to which she simply answered "No".

'First we'll go to the fashion capital of Fiore,' she says then, and her eyes glimmer with excitement for some reason, 'we'll get you some new outfits...and maybe some for me too. Next there's a cakeshop I want to stop by, and then we'll head for the cabin.'

'Cabin?' I repeat.

Her eyes glimmer even more. 'I got it as a reward for a job. You'll like it.'

'Is that even legal?' I ask softly, more to myself than to her because I don't want to ruin her excitement. It's been a while since I've seen her like this. Chipper's not her thing, but this is different. She looks younger. Perhaps she always acts as if she's older than she actually is. This trip may finally give her the room to be her own age.

We head for the train station, but we obviously don't take the train. There's a path parallel to the railway, if we follow it we'll eventually end up in Erza's fashion city.

'Oh!' says Erza when we're just past the station. 'I almost forgot.'

I stop and want to ask what it is. She walks around me and I suddenly feel her fondling with my hair. The locks which normally hang over my forehead and eyes are pulled back and the hair that covers my neck is being pulled up. Erza ties it all together with a leather cord. Now there's a ponytail the size of a hand sticking out from the back of my head.

Erza walks around me again to see her work from the front. She seems pleased. 'You look cute.'

Being the socially awkward mess that I am I blush. We've said "I love you" and other stuff to one another, but getting a compliment still makes me act shy.

Erza laughs softly and takes my hand. 'C'mon.'

We arrive at the "fashion capital of Fiore" after only half an hour. The city is both approachable and secluded, if you don't know it's there you'll walk right past it. All I remember from it now are all the different perfumes which made me gag each time we turned a corner. Nothing smelled the way it should. Even dog shit had the scent of roses.

I also remember white buildings. Nothing but white buildings. Every street looked the same to me, and so did the stores, but thankfully Erza knew exactly where we were at all times. I just held on to her hand and let her drag me around. I watched her smile, listened to her explain why I shouldn't wear darker clothes (apparently it makes me paler than I am), looked wherever she pointed at, tried out any outfit she came up with and just enjoyed myself all together.

At one point we were taking a short break. We sat on a bench which faced a fountain with sculptured fairies. Erza bought both of us a piece of strawberry cake from that one shop she mentioned earlier and we ate it with our hands. We sat in silence for a while, then I heard her sigh. When I looked I saw her smiling at the fountain, with whipped cream smudged across her cheek.

And I wished we could stay there forever. Just this, doing unnecessary shopping, pretending everything's alright. I may have decided to enjoy the time I have left as a free person, but that's easier said than done. One year, that's all I have before it's over. Whatever happens between you and me then will be the end of it. A day like this wouldn't be possible anymore.

Man, I could've cried my eyes out right there on that bench.

But I didn't. I still had to figure out a way to defeat you, but until then all I can do is be in the moment.

So I scooped the whipped cream off Erza's cheek with my thumb and kissed her.

Several hours later I'm carrying a bunch of bags which combined is as big as Erza's backpack. I can't tell what we bought, Erza picked out most of it, but there is one item which I chose myself: a black coat with blue curly embroideries on the front. Erza isn't really fond of it, because dark clothes make me look pale, but I like it. It's probably the most expensive piece of clothing I own.

We leave the city and follow a country road. By reading the road signs I soon find out we're heading for a chain of mountains. The longer we walk the less houses I see, we're practically leaving civilization behind us.

'What did you do to get a cabin in a place like this?' I ask when we near the foot of the mountain.

'Nothing special,' Erza answers, 'there was this family who purchased a dog that turned out to be cursed. At midnight it would transform into a cat.'

'Oh,' I say, trying not to sound too surprised, but Erza notices.

'A cat as big as the mansion the family lived in,' she adds.

'That does sound more like your kind of job.'

'Though I didn't slay it,' she says, 'all it needed was some cuddling and a proper diet. It did take months till the family felt comfortable to take care of it on their own. They write to me sometimes.'

As she's talking I realize I still know too little about Erza's daily life. I know her well enough to say this is a typical Erza-thing to do, but it still feels weird to only hear about this much later.

Then I remind myself: we'll figure it out. We're going on this vacation to enjoy each other, but also to fix whatever it is we have.

We keep going up the mountain till a house emerges between the trees. It's two stories high, has a porch and a balcony. There's one slide door on the front next to the main entrance and it covers the entire wall.

'I thought you said this was a cabin,' I say in disbelief, 'but this is…'

'Nice, right?' Erza walks up to the front door as if she's done so a million times. Out of nowhere she has a key in her hand. She drops her giant backpack on the porch, enters the house and slides the glass door open seconds later. 'C'mon in. We'll do a tour.'

She drags her backpack inside and I follow a little later on, carrying all the bags with clothing and shoes, which I drop as soon as I see the living room.

It's fully furnished, there are even paintings on the walls, pictures of the guild, team Natsu, and even one of me. There's a giant sofa facing a fireplace, there's one wall which is taken up entirely by bookcases stacked with novels.

On the other side of the room is an open kitchen I would probably appreciate more if I could cook more than three meals.

'Let's put the stuff upstairs,' Erza says, and I follow her to the second floor. The bedroom is insane, half of the space is covered by a kingsize duvet. There's a small bathroom and another door leading to the balcony, which looks out over the valley we just crossed to get here. From where I stand the houses in the distance are the size of my pinky toe.

'This is...insane,' I say, 'you have an entire villa. Why do you stay in the Fairy Tail dorm if you've got all this to yourself?'

Erza looks at me as if I've just said something stupid. 'The guildhall is too far away. I would miss my friends. And I really wouldn't know what to do with all this space just for myself.'

I lift an eyebrow. 'But you do camp in a tent the size of the living room?'

Erza narrows her eyes at me, but in a playful way. 'It's both a sacrifice and a choice. Are you hungry?'

We go back downstairs and before I can ask whether we brought any food Erza's already grabbing chips, salts and other snacks from cupboards. Just out of curiosity I open one cabinet myself and discover a magical cooling mechanism filled with vegetables, cheese, drinks, sauces.

'This is nuts,' I say to myself.

Erza puts the snacks and two drinks on a small side table and crouches down before the fireplace. After a minute or so a small flame emerges. She looks at me and smiles. 'Come sit.'

I'm still standing in the kitchen, taking it all in. Now that we're finally here, on vacation, it's time to talk. And I'm nervous as hell.

I sit down on the comfy sofa as if it's made of spikes. Erza, sitting on the ground before the fireplace, watches me and presses her lips together in a smile that says "Yeah, I know".

At first we just kind of stare off into the flames and pretend to see very interesting things in there. It's what we always do when we just don't know; find something to stare at and wait for the other to start the conversation. There's always that one voice that tells me "You know what, maybe today's not the right one to do this" and we'll start with doing other stuff.

But there's no escape now. We are going to talk about everything.

After what feels like hours have passed, I sigh. 'Uhm.'

Erza nods, as if that just now made me sound intelligent. 'Yes.'

I pull up one knee, put it back down, lean back against the sofa and sit up again, figuring out the right position to start apologizing. I end up sitting exactly the same as before.

'Okay,' I say then, 'let's start with Mystogan and...what's his name?'

'Siegrain.'

'Right. The council guy.' I pause as if to take my breath. 'So...I knew about his face. Mystogan's.'

Erza nods again. There is no surprise here.

'And you,' I say then, 'you knew about Siegrain.'

'Yes,' she says softly, and she sounds ashamed. 'I ran into him when the Council arrested me for damages caused by Fairy Tail. At first I thought it was...him, but he somehow sold me the story he was a twin brother. And I was foolish enough to believe it.' She stares into the fire pit, the flames reflect into her eyes. 'Or I just wanted it to be true so bad I was blindsided to anything else.'

Siegrain turned out to be a mirage Jellal created to infiltrate the Magic Council. He gained influence, which he used to manipulate the other council members, which resulted in the firing of the weapon called Etherion.

If I remember correctly, Erza's arrest took place only weeks before we returned to the Tower of Heaven. 'And you didn't tell me about it because…?'

She jerks her head in my direction. 'You didn't say anything about Mystogan either. How long have you known?'

'That's different. Mystogan never took advantage of his face. The complete opposite, actually-'

'Riku,' Erza interrupts with a tone you use when scolding your dog, 'how long have you known?'

I don't answer right away, because I know she'll flip out. 'There's a lot you don't know and I'm not sure you'll understand without-'

'How long, Riku?'

My eyes travel back to the fireplace. 'From the beginning.'

Erza makes a noise that resembles a gasp, but it could also be a grunt. 'So that's...five years?!'

'Well, like I said; it's a very different story. Mystogan is nothing like that Siegrain guy. They're not even born in the same…' I stop, because I see Erza looking at me as if she wants to punch me. I've remained calm until now, so I have no idea why she's so upset.

To me it was as clear as day that she should've told me about Siegrain, or at least the lie that he was Jellal's twin. Mystogan's situation is much more complex. At that moment in the cabin, however, I should've realized Erza didn't know enough to make that same conclusion. To her, all this just sounded like another scheme of Jellal.

'Riku,' she says, 'he made me believe he had a twin. What makes you think this "Mystogan" isn't one too?'

'I know Mystogan,' I say, almost offended, 'and sure, the first time we met I tried to kill him, but he explained to me how and why he has the same face as...Jellal.'

Until now, we haven't said his name out loud. I see Erza flinch a little, that's how deep the wounds still go.

'But I can't tell you why,' I say then, 'that wouldn't-'

'Tch.' Erza shakes her head. 'Well, I didn't say anything about Siegrain because I didn't know how. I didn't know what to do, I didn't know what you would do when you heard it...I just didn't know.'

I open and close my mouth, because there are no excuses. We've only just begun and already one of us is frustrated. Nothing remains of the fun we had that same afternoon, because this is not pretending.

'That's...OK,' I say, as a sad attempt to comfort her. 'I forgive you.' And that's definitely the wrong thing to say.

Erza throws her head back and laughs. 'Seriously? You "forgive me" and I just have to accept you won't tell me about Mystogan?'

'I...I…' I stutter.

Erza stands up. 'Unbelievable! I thought we went here to "figure it out"! But we can't do that if you keep everything to yourself now, can we?'

'I want to tell you,' I say, holding up my hands as if that makes me look more innocent, 'trust me, I do. But that's Mystogan's story, and it's so very complicated. It's even worse than a fake twin.'

I pause. My mind is racing, trying to create a sentence that explains Mystogan's situation without making it sound as crazy as it actually is. 'All I can tell you is that he's on a personal quest to save something valuable to him, and he's been searching since he was a kid. When I met him he was lost. He needed a home, or at least a place to return to till he completed his quest.'

I pause again to test the waters. Erza seems to calm down a little, but she says nothing.

'That quest is his story,' I continue then, 'and I'm not sorry for not sharing that with you. But I am sorry you had to find out this way. And I know Mystogan is too. He respects the hell out of you. He knows what you've been through and he feels awful about what happened.'

There is more I can say, but I think that's the jist of it. I wait.

Erza crosses her arms, but doesn't sit down just yet. I can see she's thinking. She is right: this whole trip was meant to bring us closer together. We knew the road towards it would be hard, but I've sensed she was already excited for the outcome this entire first day.

I am, however, even more stressed out, because there's a ton of other things I can't tell her about. Mystogan isn't even a grain of that pile of shit.

After a while, Erza says: 'When I saw Mystogan's face I wasn't so shocked that it was identical to his. What really pierced me was his expression. It was something I never saw on ...Jellal. Ever.' She pauses, and squeezes her own arm. 'There was this empathic look in his eyes, as if he'd just done something horrible to me. I haven't been able to erase that image from my mind.' She stops squeezing, sighs, and sits down on the sofa. 'At least now I know why.'

The so-called "Battle of Fairy Tail" which Laxus arranged happened only about a week ago. The last time I saw Mystogan he was crushed. He lost his home, again, and this time he didn't want my help. He wanted to be alone, the way he started out.

As I sit there on a comfortable sofa in a beautiful house together with Erza, I feel guilty for leaving him behind. Whenever I was lost he came to my rescue. He helped shape me into the person I am today. I could even credit him for making sure I didn't turn into you.

'This might be hard to believe right now,' I say slowly to Erza, 'but Mystogan is a good person.'

I hear her sigh. 'Not that hard, actually. He's still a proper mage. And a dear friend to you, I suppose.'

'Oh, you have no idea.' I suddenly feel my throat closing up. A very particular memory just entered my mind.

Telling Erza about this might be harder than talking about Simon. If Bosco hadn't come in between, I might've told her sooner.

I take a breath and it's very shaky. 'There's something you must know. Back at the Tower, after….after Simon, I lost it. I really, really did. It was worse than all the other times combined.' My voice starts to die out, as if I physically can't comprehend it myself. I stare at the cream coloured carpet on the floor before the fireplace. 'I wanted to kill him. Jellal. And I nearly succeeded if Mystogan hadn't shown up. He stopped me. He…' I pause again, I'm nearly whispering. 'He saved my life.'

It all comes back to me. There's still guilt for not being able to save Simon, but it's overshadowed by how shitty of a friend I've been to Mystogan. I just went along on the Bosco adventure and made things worse for myself.

I stand up. Luckily I'm still wearing my boots and coat, I could walk out the door right now.

'Riku!' Erza says when I'm almost out. I barely hear her, that's how mad I am at myself.

'Come with me,' I say, 'we'll find him together. He'll explain why he wears a mask to you in person, allright? I just have to make sure-'

'Riku, calm down,' she says, 'it's alright. If you trust him, I will do so as well.'

This is a very important step forward, but in the moment it just makes me even angrier. 'Well that's very nice of you, but I really have to find him. I told him I would go to the guild for just a little while, but it's been days now! He's out there all alone, feeling like shit, and I just…!'

Out of nowhere a flame erupts around my right hand.

I didn't feel it slip out. I forgot about your flames for just a second and it grabbed the opportunity. I make a frustrated noise that resembles a growl and wave the flame off.

Erza walks around the couch towards me. 'Riku, listen to me. I'm sure Mystogan will understand if you stay away a little while longer.'

'I don't care!' I snap, and I feel flames in the back of my throat. Erza doesn't flinch.

'Then at least promise me you'll wait till morning,' she says.

I glance at the nearest window. Without me noticing hours have passed since we first entered the cabin, it's already dark outside.

I take a deep breath and make sure the flames are suppressed. With them getting weaker it's pretty embarrassing for one to just pop out like that. 'Fine. As long as I find him before it's over.'

'Before what's over?'

I misspoke. I misspoke very hard. Of course I have to see Mystogan before I return to Bosco, but Erza can't know that. 'The quest. Before his quest is completed.'

'Right.' She thankfully doesn't think much of it. She walks into the kitchen. 'What would you like for dinner?'

I glance at the salts and chips on the side table which have barely been touched. If we keep going on like this I'll be leaving for Bosco by the time we've gone over everything.

Erza isn't a great cook, but the meal was decent. I believe what she made was supposed to be tacos, though I'm not sure.

We both sit on the other side of the table, facing one another. After we've emptied our plates we lean back in our chairs and say nothing for a while. Then Erza sighs. 'Can I ask you this time?'

'Sure.' I hold my breath.

'What did you do to Natsu and Gray when they were drained off their magic?'

I breathe out. This one isn't actually that bad. I basically smile. 'I've been meaning to tell you, there just wasn't a right moment. I only discovered this recently myself, but…' I stop myself and my smile grows. 'I might as well show you.'

I stand up, close my eyes and look for the golden magic within me. It's easy this time, because I'm actually excited to have my mother meet Erza. I feel the golden magic hesitate, perhaps it's nervous, but she's willing to come out.

I hear Erza gasp. I open my eyes and my mother is standing next to me, a vision in gold.

'Uhm,' I say, 'this is...my mother. A part of her, anyway. Her magic sort of transferred to me.'

Erza doesn't know what to say. She abruptly stands up, causing her chair to fall backwards. 'H-hello. Nice to meet you!'

My mother chuckles. 'I would say the same thing if I knew your name.'

'Erza!' both me and Erza say, which makes my mother chuckle again.

'Erza,' she repeats, her voice again having an angelic echo to it, 'and you're a friend of my son?'

This time Erza looks at me first before answering, but I don't know what to say. I'm still not sure how the connection works. When I call for my mother she comes out most of the time, but I don't know what she does otherwise. The fact that she doesn't recognize Erza tells me she's not really "watching", though I always feel her presence.

Erza eventually answers: 'Sort of.'

My mother nods. 'I see. You have a lovely home.'

'T-thanks.'

My mother then looks at me. A slight frown appears between her golden eyebrows, though not in an alarmed way. 'I like what you've done with your hair.'

Erza laughs behind her hand. I say: 'Just trying something new.'

My mother looks at me a little while longer. Slowly she raises one golden arm and places her hand on my cheek. She tilts her head a little to the side and her smile disappears. I can't tell what she's thinking.

I wonder if she suspects something. Maybe she somehow knows I'm planning to go back to Bosco and throw my life away in one year.

I clear my throat and turn to Erza. My mother pulls her hand away. 'It's some form of healing magic. I think.'

'Healing magic?' Erza repeats. 'That's very rare. And you healed Natsu and Gray?'

'Kind of,' I say, blushing a little because she sounds impressed. Erza's such an amazing mage herself and my magic- pardon, your magic - has always been something to be afraid of. Erza's not supposed to be impressed by anything magical I do. And I'm so excited about this myself I barely realize what I'm saying.

'The mud creature took their magic to feed to the Emperor,' I explain, 'but thanks to my mother's magic it was still bound to Natsu and Gray. It couldn't be absorbed, unless I undid whatever I did.'

'The Emperor of Bosco, right?' says Erza.

'Yes,' I say, and regret it immediately. I was hoping to get to that later, after I had the time to come up with a proper lie as to what happened in Bosco. I cough to cover up my uneasiness, but not even Happy would be fooled by that. 'And at the Tower, my mother helped me save Jellal. And Mystogan. He was wounded as well. So...yeah. If I'd known sooner, I might've…' I bump into the next hurdle.

I already spoke about Simon and my failure to save him with Shô and the others, but not with Erza. A tiny sparkle of resolve was set aflame back then, but not enough for me to face Erza.

'Oh damn,' I say, as I feel the flames jump up, 'this is...harder than I thought. Uh.'

If only I would've known sooner. If only I had been stronger. If, if, if.

'Riku,' Erza says then, 'I think I understand what you want to say, and I think you already know what my response will be.'

I look at the ground. 'Yes. I know.'

Grandpa Rob said to me years ago not to think about what could have been. You'll never be satisfied if you keep imagining past events having different outcomes. Time goes on and so should you.

My eyes sting and the wooden floor beneath my feet becomes blurry. Almost whispering, I say: 'But it still sucks.'

I hear Erza coming closer. 'I know.'

'Sorry.'

'Stop saying that.'

'Sorry.'

I feel her thumb gently rub beneath my eyes, picking up the tears and wiping them away. I sigh and feel a little lighter.

Perhaps this was all I had to tell her. Simon is gone and neither of us can change that. Even if I know I couldn't save him, the fact that I can now will fill me with regret till the day I die. Which is probably today anyway.

'Erza,' says my mother then, 'you care a lot for my son, yes?'

Erza's cheeks turn red and when she answers she does so quickly, as if my mother is her captain. 'Yes!'

My mother smiles, but remains serious. 'Then please make sure he doesn't do anything he might regret.'

She then looks at me and I now know for sure she's aware I'm planning to do things I will regret. I'm not sure how, we haven't known each other long enough to blame it on motherly instinct. I think.

Erza looks at me as well, with a more judging expression on her face. 'Of course I will.'

'Good,' says my mother, and she starts to dissolve. 'We'll talk later.'

The voice of my mother always speaks directly into someone's mind, the golden vision never moves her mouth. Erza doesn't react to this final sentence, which means she doesn't hear it. My mother speaks to me alone.

I sigh. I'm exhausted.