It was inevitable that this would happen. Ellie knew that… no matter how hard she tried to push away sleep, or her nightmares. But… this wasn't the one she was expecting. It was quiet. Her wrists were tied behind her back and Ellie looked around, smelling the mankey old odor of… it smelled like popcorn. As if she was at a carnival, or… a mall. Her eyes shot open and she struggled against her binds, seeing she was fastened to a metal chair. "Hello?" Ellie called, her voice instantly quick and fearful. Ellie had fallen asleep on Joel's lap, as he teased her lovingly about Dina. She fell asleep with a small smile and red cheeks, as she was still uncomfortable discussing girls with Joel… it was unprecedented in her life. "Hello? Joel?" Ellie called, looking around again and being unsettled by the silence.
"Did you love me?" A voice suddenly asked her and she jumped, seeing Riley's silhouette in the shadows. "Ever?" Ellie's eyebrows pointed up in hurt and she let out a shaky breath, trying to free herself.
"You were my life, Riley." Ellie croaked, knowing it wasn't really her. Still, she took solace in talking to the spirit of Riley, treating it like a therapy session. "I loved you more than anything." A small tear dropped down Ellie's cheek. The shadowy form moved towards Ellie and it bended in front of Ellie. Ellie hung her head in shame, not able to meet Riley's eyes.
"So… why'd you replace me?" Riley asked her with a shiver, making Ellie meet her eyes. Ellie shut her eyes, squeezing her features together and feeling tears roll down her skin. "Do you want to forget me?" The ghost asked, tilting its head. Ellie let out a whimper, shaking her head and hanging her head once again.
"I didn't replace you-"
"That's not true!" Riley suddenly squealed, catching Ellie off guard. "That girl, you love her." Riley hissed, her eyes full of anger and hurt. She knew that Riley wouldn't normally say this, she'd never hurt Ellie like this. "And you love me. Don't you?" Ellie weakley nodded her head, deep exhales and inhales running through her body. She wanted Joel, she wanted Dina, she wanted any sort of comfort. "So, you're replacing me." Riley squeaked, making Ellie screw her eyelids shut once again.
"No, I… I don't want to forget you. I promise, I didn't mean to do anything wrong." Ellie begged, the ropes holding her suddenly burning her wrists with a new pain she'd only felt in the fire.
"You're a liar!" Riley screamed, pushing Ellie back into her chair and making the back of her head hit a wall behind her. "You hate me, you made me die! You didn't tell us to go back, it's your fault I died!" Riley screeched, sending hate into Ellie with her eyes. Ellie's lips curled up and she let out a cry, tears rolling down her face. I didn't want you to die. Ellie thought, trying to free herself from Dina's grip while the ropes still burned her skin. "You shot me, you put a bullet right here, Ellie! Right here!" Dina's hand forcefully shoved Ellie's head up and the ghost pointed towards the center of her head.
Abruptly making Ellie's terror and tragedy grow, blood poured from Riley's head. If Ellie looked enough, she could see a bullet embedded in Riley's head. It made her sick and she wanted to vomit just looking at the excess amount of blood that was draining Riley. "Right here, you pulled the trigger and you killed me."
"No, I… I was protecting myself. I always protect myself." Ellie quoted Joel, shaking her head and looking away from Riley. Before she could get Riley out of her sight, the darker girl struck her fist against Ellie's cheek, making her instantly turn back. "Please, I didn't want to hurt anyone." Ellie whispered, a small drop of blood emerging from her split lip. "I didn't want you to suffer."
The imposter let out a cold laugh and Riley paced the room, spinning back towards Ellie and striking her again. "You killed me, you killed me and you replaced me!" Ellie shook her head and her irises suddenly grew and shrunk when she saw Riley was baring a blade, moving towards Ellie again. Ellie had a horrible flashback towards the nightmare where Joel had looked the same… the day before she'd come out to him and told him about Riley.
"No, please. Please, don't do this." But, as Ellie shut her eyes, she didn't feel any pain. Her eyes twisted in confusion and she opened her eyes in horror to see Riley before her, her throat bloodied and her body still. "No, no. No, no, no, no, no." Ellie chanted, feeling the burning around her wrists abruptly disappear. She fell onto the ground, landing before Riley's bloodied body with a horrible feeling. "Hey, hey, Riley, c'mon." Ellie shook her, tears streaming down her cheeks. Her blood roared in her ears and she shook Riley once again, begging to take her place.
"No, Riley, wake up. Kill me, don't… kill me! I killed you, I understand now, okay? It was my fault you died, I'm sorry! I'm sorry for loving Dina, I'm sorry that I didn't tell us to leave, just please wake up." Ellie sobbed, shaking her again only to feel a dead pulse and cold skin. "I know it was my fault, let me die, just wake up, okay?"
Still, nothing happened and Ellie just let out a terrified scream, holding Riley in her arms and letting the other girl's blood coat her in freezing liquid. And then, she finally woke.
"No!" She sobbed, jumping up and feeling someone grab her. Ellie tried to escape the grip but it was sturdy and warm.
"Hey, hey, it's me, okay? It's me." Ellie heard Joel's voice meeting her ears and she let out a whimper of relief, shaking her head in Joel's arms. It was quiet and dark, humid air met her bare arms and legs. A small layer of sweat was running from her skin, chasing the coldness on her arms and nerves. "It's me." He repeated, pulling her from his arms and making her look in his eyes, gently holding her jaw with his palms. Ellie shook her head, simply burying her head in Joel's neck. Her eyes were shut as she tried to get the sight of Riley's limp, bloody body in her arms expelled from her head.
"I know, I'm right here, baby girl. It's okay." She knew what he thought what this was about, what he thought she saw. Joel took her shaking hands, pressing both of them into his hands and breathing his warm breath on them, comforting her slightly. "It's alright. It's okay." He repeated, pulling her from his grip one last time and meeting her eyes. They were filled with tears and he cursed at himself for not waking up sooner and waking her up sooner, as well.
"I, I was back there, in…" Ellie's lips stuck together and her body took on a feeling of dead weight. Joel's features scrunched together and he tightened his arms, surrounding her with his presence and trying to stall her sniffles and crying. "... it was my fault." Ellie suddenly whispered, hypnotized by the fake Riley's thoughts. Joel's features scrunched in confusion and he realized that this wasn't about Chase and what the brat had tried to do to her. "I should've gotten us to leave, I shouldn't have killed her." Joel remembered his confession about what she'd had to do to her friend. He squeezed her hands and let her speak it out, whispering praises to her and trying to comfort her. "I shot her. Right here." Ellie pointed to her forehead, separating herself from Joel and curling herself into a ball. "Right in the head."
"You protected yourself." Joel told her, trying to move towards her. She rejected his grip and looked up to him with a new expression, violently shaking her head.
"No, you… you don't understand." Ellie whispered, squeezing her eyes shut and vividly recalling the memory. The gun shaking in her hands… the smell of intestines and coppery blood after the deed had been done… Ellie being forced to leave Riley as more Infected came to finish the pair. "She didn't turn." Ellie murmured softly, hiding her head in her hands and letting out small cries. Joel petted her back, tickling her gently and attempting to comfort her. "I didn't want her to turn… so I pulled the trigger. Right as she turned around. I didn't want her to suffer…" Ellie croaked, sniffling and wiping her tears, dragging her arm across her face and clearing her skin.
"And you stopped her pain." Joel assured her, finally bringing her into his arms and fishing his hands in her hair, brushing it out and making her breath a little steadier. "There ain't nothing wrong with that, baby girl." He whispered to her, the subtle volume of the television still in the background of their scene.
"Do you promise?" Ellie whispered, looking up at him and seriously glancing into his eyes. Their pupils met and he saw the ocean of pain in her. She felt him suddenly pull her in and squeeze her tightly, hugging her and trying to protect her from everything and everyone that could ever hurt her in the world.
"I swear." Joel promised her, squeezing her tightly and rejoicing when her crying finally paused. "Okay?" He asked her, sensing her nod in his chest. He heaved a deep sigh, rubbing her back and letting her just slowly calm in his grip. "I know…" He whispered, hearing her still quick inhales. "I know." He pressed his head into her chest, stroking her back with his hand gently.
Ellie finally paused her crying and her breathing had begun to calm. Joel let out a shaky sigh of relief, continuing to stroke her gently and keep her in his arms. "I'm sorry." She whispered, looking down and shaking her head. "I… I was so mad at you for saving me." She kept herself in his chest and squeezed the fabric of his shirt, constricting it in her small, young hands. "I hated myself because you saved me." She whispered, making him squeeze his features in pain and hold her that much tighter. "But, if something happened to you…" Ellie's voice shivered and Joel pet her hair, trying to comfort her. "If they hurt you… if they killed you… I'd want them to kill me anyway." She confessed, looking up at Joel and finally breaking away from his grip.
His features twisted in pain and he suddenly felt his own tears dripping down his skin. "I'm sorry." Ellie whispered, expecting Joel to reject her and push her away like everyone else in her life.
"Hey, no… we're both alright, okay?" Joel whispered, lining her jaw with his fingers and gently lifting it upwards. "I saved you… and we're here in Jackson, and we're never, ever bein' separated… alright?" Joel asked, looking into her shiny emerald eyes and wiping the tears that had sketched a new home onto her cheeks. "And I promise you, there ain't gonna be a day in your life when I'm not right here, okay?" He asked her, brushing her messy hair behind her ears and trying to smile down at her.
"Do you swear?"
"I promise." Joel instantly answered her, letting her slowly calm down in his arms. "Okay, it's okay." He stroked her hair, whispering in her ear and calming her down. Finally it was silent and the only sounds were the mumbled dialogue of the long forgotten television that Joel had been watching. He liked to watch Ellie sleep. It was almost like watching her breath drag up and down certified to him that they were alive. "Do you want to try and go back to sleep?" Ellie shook her head and just remained still in Joel's arms, stuck between the line of breaking down and staying silent forever, something she'd become used to. "Okay… we can stay up again." He whispered, slowly pulling her into his arms as they faced the television. Still, Ellie's thoughts lingered, travelling back to her dream. Am I betraying Riley…? By loving Dina? I am, aren't I? Ellie sighed, simply squeezing her eyes shut and trying to feel nothing but Joel holding her.
And so, the time began to flow by as the dark sky bloomed into its sunrise. Sun flowed through the drapes and Joel looked down to Ellie, seeing she'd fallen asleep once again. He hadn't been watching the movie, he'd been watching her slumber once again. It was soothing to him, to feel her breathe under him and be alive with his touch. It certified the fact that she was alive.
Finally, as it came near at least eight or nine, he shook her awake gently, hearing her stomach rumble. Ellie awoke with a start, thinking someone was touching her, but her face soothed when she saw it was only Joel. "'T's okay, just me, baby girl." He held his hands up, looking to her to see her shut her eyes and take a deep breath. She'd seen Riley once again, but this wasn't so much a nightmare… It was a remembrance of their time together, Ellie's way to make herself feel guilty for liking Dina. "Reckon you need some food in you." Joel stroked her hand before raising himself up, keeping the blanket on her small frame.
"Yeah." They were scheduled to go out on patrols that day, just her and him. Ellie was excited, it'd been too long since it was just them. She liked Tommy and cared for him, but Ellie just wanted it to be her and him again, maybe just for a moment.
"Kiddo, we ain't going out for a little bit." Joel chuckled, seeing her excitement awaken as she began to. "You really like this, huh?" He smirked, seeing her look out the window towards the outside. It felt like she was trapped, caged. The people here were so civilized, and they all acted like Maria. Ellie liked Maria as well, but she acted like the world they lived in was forgiving, and like Ellie could be a kid again, even after knowing what had conspired in Winter. Worst of all, after learning about Winter, Maria began pitying her. Maria began treating her like a shard of sugar glass, which just made Ellie feel weaker. And everyone in the town behaved like that, after hearing what'd happened with Chase and the group of boys.
"Everyone in here is weird. They're all so nosy, and… some of the other kids didn't even know what the Infected look like. They're all so privileged." She snided, looking down and stretching her limbs. She cracked her knuckles, and then the bones in her neck. Joel frowned at her once again, which only made her smile more. "They all treat it like nothing's happened."
"I know, kiddo. But we're safe here. I dunno about you, but I'll take some assholes if you get a bed and meals." He responded fondly, looking back towards her as he made eggs in an iron frying pan. They sizzled on the heat of the oven and Ellie turned her nose up, sniffing the pleasant aroma. "You like it here, right?" Joel asked, fearing she was unhappy. Ellie sighed and looked towards him, nodding her head.
"Of course I do… just wish casual murder was allowed here sometimes." Joel let out a chuckle and moved towards her, setting a bowl of food down for her, then one for himself. Ellie sat up, taking the blanket around her with her as she moved towards the kitchen's island, sitting on the edge. "You still need to teach me how to cook this stuff, Joel."
"One thing at a time, kiddo… speaking of which, 'nother guitar lesson tonight?" He asked her, seeing a wicked grin run through her body. Ellie quickly nodding, trying to talk while swallowing down the food. Joel smiled, placing his hand on her shoulder. "Eat first, baby girl." She swallowed and then began talking again, chatting about how she'd been trying to do covers and slowly was learning the skill of guitar. They talked for nearly twenty minutes, just going back and forth about Jackson. Joel asked her about Dina again, which Ellie shyly deflected, though he was only teasing. And as they finished their food, it was time to leave. "Alright, reckon we better be moving then, kiddo."
"Finally." Ellie smiled, quickly slipping her canvas hiking boots on and cuffing her jeans into them. It had begun to get hot from the summer months, so she wore jeans and one of Joel's shirts. It was much too big for her, and went down nearly to her knees, but having the smell of Joel around her comforted her, because it had on the road, so it did in Jackson. As long as we're still together, we'll be okay, Ellie. She said to herself, watching Joel sling his bag over his shoulders, doing the same for her.
"Got everything?" He asked, stroking a strand of hair behind his ear. She nodded and he opened the door, leading them towards the stables to get their horse for the day. As they approached, Ellie turned back to Joel, gesturing towards the ranch.
"I'll go get Shimmer, I need to talk to Dina anyway." Joel nodded, seeing that she wanted to go in alone. Ellie pushed away the guilt of 'replacing' Riley, she pushed away everything. She needed to tell Dina how she felt, even if the other girl didn't feel the same. Ellie needed to get the guilt and feelings off her chest, before they consumed her. Ellie gave Joel one last look before turning around, heading for the ranch, no longer able to see him. Curiously enough, there was no sound, just silence. So, she looked in one of the small holes in the wooden walls, and her heart fell into a pit embedded in her gut.
As Ellie looked through the wood, she felt any courage or motivation to tell Dina fall through the ground underneath her. Her eyes took in the sight of Jesse and Dina, their lips connected and a small kiss being shared between them. She squeezed her eyes shut, looking away and heaving a deep sigh. How could I think she liked me? I'm so stupid. Ellie cursed for allowing herself to get her hopes up and she squeezed her nails into her palms as a sick punishment. I'm such an idiot. Ellie wanted to just go into her room and cry, and she'd never felt this before: heartbreak. Ellie's eyes fell down to the floor and she sighed, cursing at herself for ever thinking someone could even care about her. I'm such a fucking idiot. Ellie rejected the feeling of her throat closing around her and she shook the tragedy from her body, pushing the crying that wanted to surface down and down and down until it could pile up and consume her later on… but that would be a problem future Ellie would have to fix.
How could I think she'd love me? How could I think anyone could love me? Ellie looked down, watching a single tear drip onto the dirt beneath her. She thought of her confession to Dina, about what had transpired in Winter, and wondered if any of that meant anything to her, or if she'd been imagining their bond, just as she'd done with Marlene. She'd fabricated that relationship so much that Marlene had tried to kill her, so was this any different? Was Joel's parenthood any different?
She stood there for a moment, but finally, her logic came to her. Ellie didn't want Joel coming and seeing her like this so she regained herself and took a breath, gently knocking on the wood of the barn's door.
Ellie waited there, her face mostly dead and gone. Finally, someone came to the door and as it peeled open, she saw Jesse's face. Ellie muttered a small 'hello,' quickly coming in and seeing Dina, laying in the attic of the barn with her legs swinging down. "I'm going on patrol with Joel, I need Shimmer." She explained, unlatching the pen and saddling Shimmer, throwing the heavy leather over the mare and strapping it.
"What're you guys covering?" Dina asked, peeking her head down from the attic with her dark hair leaning down along with her. Ellie looked up at the girl, but looked back down to the horse's fur. It hurt, looking at Dina, and Ellie didn't know why. She'd never cared for someone like this, except Riley, but her worries extended to simply keeping both of them fed: there was no time for being a true teenager.
"Tommy assigned us some new territory. Right outside the gas station." Ellie answered and pulled the stirrups on the saddle down. Jesse helped her onto the horse, and she took his grip, thanking him under her breath. Her hands took the reins from Shimmer's neck and she moved the horse and her out of the pen.
"That's not cleared yet." Dina spoke and Ellie nodded, looking up at her.
"Yeah, that's why we're going out to clear it." Ellie smirked for a second, but the joy in her had momentarily been zipped away in an undisclosed location, not to be seen for a few hours.
"Just, be careful, El?" Dina asked, still disliking Ellie going outside the walls. Ellie answered her with only a smile, and began to ride towards the exit of the ranch. Jesse opened the doors for her, looking up to her.
"What she said." He muttered and Ellie rolled her eyes, a small smirk on her lips. A chuckle escaped her lips and she took her pistol from her back pocket, cocking the gun and looking down towards her friends finally.
"You guys are such saps." She smiled before riding out, taking a breath of fresh air when she heard the doors close. Ellie dipped her head and let the fresh wound dull, hiding it and burying it deep. That was how she healed, it always seemed to go away if you buried it deep enough, and if it returned… you simply did it again.
Ellie kept her eyelids shut and palmed the horse's fur, her thoughts and sadness joining together in her head. Faintly, someone was calling her name, and it rippled through her almost as if the voice was screaming for her underwater. Ellie's mind consumed her until suddenly, something grabbed her arm and she gasped, looking down like ice had grabbed her. "It's just me." Joel held his hands up, looking up at her with a concerned look. "You okay?"
"Y-yeah… yeah, I'm fine." They both knew she was lying, it was written all over her face. But Joel had found that, in time, she eventually came clean to him. He hoped history did indeed repeat itself. "Yeah, I'm great." Ellie nodded, giving his arm and helping him up onto the horse. His wound still hurt him sometimes, but Ellie did a much better job stitching it up than possibly even he could do.
They began to trot out of Jackson and Ellie turned around, looking back towards the ranch and sighing. She looked down again, shaking her head and shutting her eyes. Did I scare her away by telling her about David? I thought she liked me. Was I imagining that entire time? Ellie refused to think that. There had to be some part of Dina that liked her. Part of Ellie almost wished they were on the road again, she'd never had to worry about these regular teenage things when they were almost dying, or escaping every scenario by the skin of their teeth. "Ellie." Joel tapped her, heaving a deep sigh and looking back at her, seeing her sight lingered on the ranch. "What happened?" He asked her plainly, stopping Shimmer for a moment and looking directly into her eyes. They twinkled under the morning's sun and Ellie broke the gaze, looking back towards the building.
"Nothing." She whispered back, trying to tear her sight from it but failing horribly. Joel loosened his left hand from the reins and took Ellie's palm, squeezing it and bringing her back. "I'm really-"
"Ellie. I can tell when you're lying." He stated clearly, giving her hand a small squeeze and pressing his pointer finger onto her jaw, making her look in his eyes again. "Did somethin' happen with your friends?" Joel asked her softly, turning to face her as much as he could on the horse and seeing her shut her eyes. Ellie did a final sigh and her cheeks blushed, embarrassed by how sad she was. It wasn't like her to get upset over 'heartbreak,' she always teased Riley for some boy she'd fallen for…
"You were right… about Dina, and…" Ellie let the sentence hang, but Joel understood her meaning. She moved her face to rest on his shoulder and sighed, taking in the smell of fresh wood and stain from his flannel. He kissed the top of her head, waiting for her to speak again. "But, she… Jesse and… it's useless. I knew I shouldn't have let my guard down again." Ellie cursed under her breath at herself, taking her head from Joel's shoulders and burying her face into his back, heaving a sigh.
"Oh, baby girl." He whispered, slowly lifting her up and bringing her in front of him, seeing a small tear run down her skin, "I'm sorry." He hugged her tightly and she didn't cry, but she let her sadness hang in the air, lingering above them.
"I'm fine." Ellie whispered after a minute, taking herself from Joel's grip and sighing, wiping her eyes. "Okay, yeah… I'm fine. This is going to be a good break." Ellie assured herself, taking a deep breath and wiping her hair back, pushing the strands behind her ears and sniffling one last time. "Okay? We're not talking about this, we're going to go, and we're taking a break."
"Alright." Joel nodded and they both dropped from Shimmer. Joel took the reins from Ellie and led the horse through the woods while Ellie let her sadness fall away, leaving it for after patrol. It was summer, around the end of June. Ellie wore a tank top and shorts. The trees were painted vibrant colors and she smiled, looking up. Leaves fell around her as they walked towards the patrol site and she held her arms up, catching one and looking at its vibrant colors.
"Hey, Joel. What's your favorite season?" She looked back towards Shimmer and him. The sounds of horseshoes trotting against the fractured road resonated like a pattern. Joel sighed, thinking of his answer. Not Winter, for obvious reasons. Not Autumn… he could still remember Ellie's sobs and pleads for him to get up, and for him not to leave her in Autumn. Spring still held a trauma for him, as well, and he knew it held trouble for her, too. The vaccine's failure still daily affected her, and it was like by being happy, her guilt only increased. So, by default, that left Summer… he remembered Summer.
Sarah used to hate Summer. Ironically, Winter was her favorite. During the Winter months, Joel would take her to ride horses with Tommy. It was a passion of hers, one which had originally stemmed from some teen movie he'd dragged Joel to see. What was the name? Stallion… Stallion something. He felt guilty for not remembering, and he hated the idea of almost using Ellie to get over Sarah.
"Summer, I s'pose." He shrugged, looking up at the leaves and breathing in the fresh air. "Don't get this fresh air anywhere else, kiddo." Ellie let out a laugh and rolled her eyes, jumping down from a fallen log she'd been trekking across. "Careful." He warned, and it made her feel warm. Ellie knew for a fact that Joel loved her now… he wouldn't leave her… and it made her feel safe.
"I think mine's…" Ellie let her last vowel drag on and she thought. Winter and Spring were eliminated… there were too many bad memories attached. Summer was the season of her birthday, so that was eliminated as well. Riley died right before her birthday. It was the world's sick -but predictable- gift for her. "I guess Fall. I like the way Fall smells."
"Dead leaves?" He smiled and she snorted, walking backwards and meeting his eyes.
"Yeah. When I die…" Joel shuddered at the thought, pushing those thoughts away from his brain. What if somethin' happens to her? What if I have to live after she's gone…? No, Jesus, no. I can't even think of that. Joel shook his head and tore the thought from his brain, burying it deep and refusing the thought. "I want to like… give back to nature, y'know? Like decompose into the dirt or something. If I die, don't bury me." She ordered with a smile, but once again, Joel's lips dragged down at that thought.
"Like, Riley used to tell me that they once could turn your ashes into a painting… I'd want mine just to be a giant dick." Ellie laughed, seeing Joel snicker and shake his head with a grin. "That'd be fucking cool." Ellie tried to explain but Joel's laughing took over her.
They continued talking and finally, they made it to the patrol spot. It was uncleared, so, as they approached, Joel stopped them and tied Shimmer to a post nearby, certifying the horse's safety, or so he thought. "Alright, safety's off. Stay close, look for anything, you know the deal." Ellie nodded, loading her pistol and seeing seven bullets gleam back at her. Not good, but it's enough. She thought, cocking the gun and taking a deep breath, holding her finger on the trigger. She was still more trigger happy than before she'd been in Winter, as her layer of jumpiness had been a permanent consequence of that season.
"This place looks fucking creepy." It was a large school, almost like the one the bloater attack had happened in so long ago. "Who the fuck even started school? That's such a dumb idea. Who even thought that was near a good idea? That guy must've been such a douchebag."
"Yeah, Sarah didn't like school much, either. She definitely didn't have your mouth, though." Joel teased and she let out a small chuckle. He mussed her hair, sending locks from her ponytail and Ellie glared back at him. She'd recovered from Chase, but part of her had definitely been seriously maimed in the attack. A small bit of her had been lost… and that killed Joel. "I was gon' teach her guitar before… everything. You would've hated the music she listened to. It was all that teenage romance stuff. She loved it, though."
"Maria got me some new tapes for my walkman. Blink 123 or something…? I don't remember." Joel let out a snicker and smiled, remembering the concerts that Tommy and him used to attend for those bands. Joel was sure some of his hearing had been lost in those concerts.
"Reckon that'll be a change from what I play you." Joel smiled and they slowly approached the school. Ellie pushed against the door, only to find it wouldn't budge.
"Well, fuck." She groaned, looking around for somewhere he could boost her in. She trailed the entrance, running her hands on the wall and almost hoping for some sort of secret entrance. "Y'know, back in the zone, they had this Halloween store… in a mall near the school."
"Did you ever dress up?"
"Yeah… one time." Ellie smiled, thinking back to the day at the mall… and then the minutes in her memory went by and she remembered Riley's death. "Riley and I snuck out again… it was right after I got this." She pointed to her scar, fingering the marred skin slightly.
"You never told me how you got that." Joel spoke curiously, looking the dreaded scar on her skin. He had his guesses, but he'd never actually heard the true story. So, as they looked for an entrance, pacing around the school building, she opened her mouth.
"Well, back in the zone, there was this asshole soldier. Riley and I had to steal leftovers to survive, so this one time, we're going through the bins, and this douchebag comes up." Joel hated hearing about her having to eat scraps like an animal just to live. But now, at least, they didn't have to worry about that. They had a bed and warm food… and most importantly, a house with walls that kept Ellie safe from the outside. It was just Joel and her in those walls, and that was how she wanted it. "He calls Riley and me… words… and I go at him, and… well, he had a knife, so it didn't really go well." Joel's teeth bared and he knew what words she was talking about, what slurs. The last time she'd been called that was Chase, and now those words were just a reminder of what she'd had to endure. "Got a few punches in, though… but we didn't eat for the next couple days. Can't really attack a soldier with no consequence."
"Sounds like an asshole." Joel grunted and Ellie let out a small laugh, nodding. God, her scar hurt for a while after that incident. Riley had been the one to stop the bleeding, and sometimes, Ellie could still feel Riley's touch there.
"Hey, here's something." Ellie beckoned Joel over, seeing a broken window that led into what looked like a bathroom. Joel frowned, knowing there was no knowing what was inside since it hadn't been cleared prior to their patrol. "Boost me up."
"I dunno, baby girl." He scratched the back of his neck, trying to peek over the window but failing. Ellie pouted up at him, placing her hand on her hips.
"Joel, I can handle myself." She assured him and finally he sighed, still hating the idea of sending her in alone. "I promise." Ellie swore to him, looking him in the eyes seriously and taking his hand, squeezing it.
"You find me a way to get in. And if you see anything, you-"
"Come back, I know, I know." Ellie rolled her eyes, awaiting for him to finally boost her up. At last, he kneeled down, placing his palm up and boosting her into the window, launching her up. Her arms pulled her body up with Joel's subtle help and she fell through the window, landing hard on the other side in a large bathroom stall. "Graceful landing…" She groaned, shutting her eyes for a second before standing, looking around her.
Ellie unlocked the bathroom stall, struggling slightly, as the lock had been jammed shut with traces of fungus. "Ellie?" Joel called and she looked back towards the window, seeing Joel's hands trying to pull him up.
"Yeah, I'm fine! Trying to find you a way up." Ellie yelled back and she looked in the bathroom, her handgun in her hands.
"Keep your voice down." Joel whispered back from the other side of the wall, advice that Ellie obliged by. She traveled through the bathroom, frowning when she saw nothing. Ellie traveled back to the window, peeking over and able to see Joel looking up at her. "Anything?" Ellie shook her head, hearing a small clang behind her. She shook it off, looking back to Joel.
"No, I'm going to see if I can unjam the door." Ellie told him, hearing him whisper a 'be careful' before she turned back, exiting the bathroom and beginning to traipse through the school. "Alright, stay frosty, Ellie." She whispered to herself, remembering where the door was from the exterior and moving through the halls. "We'll clear it together." She muttered, seeing the door lying ahead of her. Her pace quickened and she thrust her hands against the doorknob, seeing it was locked. "Alright, I can pick this." Ellie whispered, kneeling in front of it.
Riley had taught her how to lock pick, mostly to steal food from the school cafeteria, or valuables to trade for ration cards. "Okay…" She whispered, taking a nail file from her pocket and slowly exploring the lock. Raise the keyway, loosen the pins, and then… Ellie felt the pins click with the thin file and she raised it higher, hearing a series of clicks emerge from the masterlock. Raise the pins. "There we go…" Ellie smiled, retracting the nail file and opening the lock, tossing it aside and opening the door.
Joel was patiently waiting, an anxious look on his face. He saw the tossed lock and crossed his arms, a smirk now worn on his lips. "Impressed?"
"Where'd ya learn to do that?" He asked, shutting the door behind him and walking into the building. Ellie placed her nail file back in her bag, looking back at Joel as they began venturing through the school. It seemed to be a smaller school, much smaller than Ellie had attended. She never really told Joel what'd happened at the school. He knew she disliked discussing it, especially after telling him about Riley.
"Riley taught me. We stole a lot of stuff, so it came in handy." Ellie remembered their midnight expeditions where they scrounged for food, or anything they could find, really. Whatever could be traded for ration cards, they stole: toys, clothing, jewelry, even the simplest things such as shampoo or soap.
"Did ya get in trouble?" Joel asked her, seeing she was shy when discussing what she'd been forced to do in school. They were trained to kill, and trained to become soldiers. Some of the other students who'd finished the schooling had been sent to be soldiers for F.E.D.R.A, which was the main goal of the school. More soldiers meant less offensive, pent up civilians. And a lessened amount of infection.
So, they'd been taught to fight, pitting the students against each other in arena like scenarios. Rewards would be given, and the losers would most likely be sent to the infirmary for the week. "I wouldn't be here if I got in trouble a lot." She morbidly answered, looking back at him with a small shrug. "I dunno, they wanted us to become soldiers, for the military. Riley, of course, didn't want to, so she went off to join the fireflies… and I was just… alone." Ellie shrugged once again, and Joel took her hand squeezing it and looking into her eyes for a moment.
"That ain't ever gon' happen again." He swore to her, remembering his words from winter: "'I'm not going to let anyone touch you again, okay?'" He meant those words, and he was never leaving her. He'd die before they weren't together, and he had a sneaking hope that she was starting to believe it. "No one's gonna separate us, okay?"
"Okay…" Ellie whispered, leaning into his body as they walked and taking a deep breath. "Sorry, this place just… memories." She explained, looking around at the silent halls and letting out a deep breath, realizing it was cloudy.
"Spores. Masks on." Joel ordered, taking his and hers from his bag and handing her the former, frowning when she rejected it. "In case we run into someone, Ellie, please."
"We're not going to run into anyone." Ellie argued, but was persuaded by the anxious look on Joel's face. She groaned and took it from him, slipping the glass and plastic over her face. "You should try worrying less, you might get a little less gray." Ellie smiled, and he let out a small chuckle .They began moving through the halls again and Ellie bent down, picking up a book that'd been thrown to the floor. Tales of Narnia, Riley always talked about this… she was such a nerd. "God, can you imagine being in school when everything went to shit? Just having all of your friends die right in front of you like that?" A silence fell between them and Ellie heaved a deep sigh, a new dark thought taking over her brain. "Do you think the people are still in there? Watching you kill them?"
Sam certainly thought so, and Ellie realized with a sickness that in his last hours of death, she must have made him feel so much worse. "I know it seems like it, but that person is not in there anymore." She'd all but told him that he was going to die and there was nothing he could do. He'd be gone and it'd be over, just like that.
"I dunno… maybe. But that just means it's better to kill them: to put them at peace." Joel explained to her and she sighed, nodding. Suddenly, there was a slam of a door at the end of the hall and Ellie gasped, jumping back. Her hand constricted against Joel's and they looked into each other's eyes through their masks.
"What the fuck was that?" Ellie demanded, taking her hand from Joel's and holding her pistol towards the door. "Joel?" She asked him, looking over to her father and seeing that he too was scoping his gun towards the door.
"We should check it out."
"Normally in these types of situations, you wouldn't go towards the death door." Ellie whisper-hissed and Joel chuckled a small decibel, taking her hand again and rubbing it slightly. They slowly moved closer to the door, Ellie's steps laggard and fearful.
"It's fine, probably just some rat."
"What kind of fucking rats are you used to?" Ellie asked, looking at him and fingering the metal of her gun. Joel shook his head with a smile again and as they approached the door, Ellie took a sigh, preparing herself for something.
"It's okay, baby, probably nothin'." He assured her before resting his hand on the doorknob. Though, before he could even try to open the door, it launched in the air, pushed back by a large kick. Joel was pushed back as the door fell off its hinges. He hit the ground with a grunt and Ellie immediately called his name, running towards where he'd landed. "Ellie, behind you!" He warned her, seeing the monstrous footsteps of a monumental bloater move closer and closer towards her.
Ellie spun around, seeing the thing get closer to her. It looked almost larger than a bloater, and the fungal decal on it was dripping from its barely visible eyes like tears. Bits of lost flesh and bone protruded from its body and it began to clammer towards Ellie and Joel, prolapsed gasps and moans for air and flesh coming from its demented lips. "Joel, move!" Ellie ordered, taking his hand and helping her back up, getting him on his feet just as the monstrous beast grabbed for her.
Ellie narrowly escaped its assault and Joel took her hand, reeling her back towards him and ensuring another second of safety. "Behind me!" He told her, protecting her with his body and beginning to shoot lead into the thing's body, but it didn't seem to stall. He saw Ellie scrambling to reach for her bag and tossed a molotov towards the beast, making fire spill onto its skin.
Part of it hesitated and its mass slightly shrunk due to the burns, but it still clambered on, moving to Joel, and the smaller force of the obscene amount of bullets and fire emerging from behind him, in a small girl. The bloater suddenly smacked aside Joel in their close proximity, making him land against the wall and seized his movement temporarily. "Joel!" Ellie screamed as the bloater suddenly pushed her in front, violently grabbing her by her throat and holding her up in the air like a play-toy. "Help!" Ellie screeched, her voice muffled as the bloater began to seize her airways, taking away her consciousness slowly.
Joel launched himself up, taking his bat from his bag as the bloater squeezed Ellie's throat, making it feel as if it'd snap in two. "Dad!" Ellie squealed and Joel hit the bloater once again, finally making it drop Ellie. He took his shotgun from his bag, blasting the bloater back and pushing lead into its skin.
Ellie let out a sputter of coughs, laying on the ground and sitting up with her arm keeping her up. She backed away from the bloater as Joel sent it closer with his shots, still begging for her lungs to give her the right to breathe. Joel continued firing and still, the protective layer of the fungus had barely broken. "Ellie, watch out!" Joel yelled to her as once again, the bloater came closer to her, reaching out for her small body once again.
Ellie tore herself up -which her body protested against- and aimed her gun, pulling the trigger and shooting the hand that the bloater had moved towards her in want for her flesh. "Fuck off!" Ellie yelled, firing again until the bloater's arm had turn into bullet-ridden mush. Still, it somehow pressed forward, clinging to life. It now turned for Joel, its arms stretching for him. He let out a yell of fury, shooting the beast with his shotgun once more, aiming for its head. "What's it going to take to kill this fucker?!" Ellie screamed, her rifle in her arms as she pulled the trigger and then pulled back the stock, throwing it over her shoulder and switching for her pistol again. "Joel!" Ellie screamed again, seeing that it had taken Joel by the foot, dragging her father closer and closer to its mouth, its teeth begging to infect him and take him away from her. "Let…" She beat her knife into the bloater's flesh, screwing the knife in. "Him… go!" She roared, cringing as it suddenly whipped around, its fist meeting her face, leaving a long cut on her cheek.
"Ellie!" He screamed, sending one last bullet into the bloater's cheek, just as it had begun to pick her up again. Finally, it collapsed to the floor, its blood soaking both Joel and Ellie's clothing. Its body fell onto Ellie's covering her. She groaned in disgust, trying to push it off of her but not having the strength to get the four hundred pound beast off of her. It crushed her and she cried out for Joel, expecting the thing to choke her, not realizing it was dead. "Ellie, Ellie." He rushed to her, struggling to get the beast off of her. Finally, it landed aside her and she took a gasp of air, dark bruises on her throat from where the bloater had suffocated her. "Baby, are you okay?" He asked and she nodded, letting out a sputter of coughs and finally meeting his eyes.
"Are you clean?" She instantly asked, fearing his answer. She almost screamed in happiness when he nodded, inspecting her with a shade of concern and pain when he saw her hands go for her throat in pain. "Are you hurt?" She asked and he once again shook his head, seeing the large bruise on her cheek and cringing, brushing the skin.
"Are you okay?" She took a second before nodding, looking at the blood covering the both of them and felt the urge to vomit. "Thank God." Joel whispered, taking her into his arms and hugging her tightly, his hands tickling her back and calming her slightly Her throat hurt and it itched like something was crawling up her spine, trailing its way around her flesh and not permitting her to breathe. "That was too damn close." He assured her, rubbing her back before finally separating from her, looking at the bruise on both her cheek, and the ones on her throat. "We'll fix these up when we get back, alright?"
"Okay." Ellie nodded, looking back towards the bloater's body beside her. She stood, as the blood had begun to soak her leggings. "That was fucking intense… we did it, though." Joel smiled and nodded, now able to take his gas-mask off, as the spores were long gone. Ellie's had been destroyed beyond repair, and had slinked off of her during the battle.
"Yeah, s'pose we did, kiddo." He answered, moving back towards the door. "Let's clear this and get the hell out, reckon we both could use some rest after that mess." Ellie nodded, agreeing with his statement. They moved through the door and Ellie deviated, heading into a classroom. It looked like some sort of science lab and she walked around, peering into the microscopes and seeing nothing but dust and a long destroyed slide under the legs of the microscope.
"Hey, Joel, did you go to school?" Ellie asked, recovering from the attack and opting to return to their light conversation. "Like, a real, regular school?" Joel nodded, leaning against the desks beside her and watching her look in each and every microscope, perplexed by the machines.
"Yup… where I met Sarah's mom." Ellie's eyes widened and she looked up, waiting to hear his 'amazing, love story,' or at least that was what she expected. "I gave her these big earrings… reckon she didn't even know my name. Asked her to the movies. She was popular. Some popular girl with a country boy like me." Ellie smiled and she let out a giggle, sitting atop one of the desks and watching Joel's face carefully. A small bit of pain came when thinking of the memories, but Ellie's smile eased it. The dark bruises on her cheek and throat hurt him physically and he swore at himself for letting the bloater even touch her.
"I bet you were handsome." Ellie teased and she received a fake glare from him, which only made her smile more. "So, did it go well?"
"Went great… then, Sarah was born a few years later." A large smile spread on his face when he thought of that day, holding her tiny little body in the hospital, with her mother right beside him. He'd brought his guitar into the hospital, and sung them both to sleep, both of their breaths comforting him. "That was the best day of my life…" Ellie smiled, finding his love for Sarah and herself so heartwarming, which was rare in the world they'd come to live in. "And then, everything went to shit… things didn't work out, and… everythin'."
He used that singular word to describe her death, and of course it did that horrible day no justice. "Don't regret any of it, though." He smiled fondly, looking down at her and brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "Alright… that's enough stories for today." He smirked, seeing her intrigue in his story and brushing her cheek with his thumb. "C'mon, you got anything?" He asked her, seeing a smile spread across her lips suddenly.
"This one time, Riley and I… took some spray paint to the girl's bathroom. Covered the entire thing in drawings and jokes from my book. Didn't eat for a few weeks because of it, but it was really fucking funny." Ellie laughed, but once again, Joel cringed, hearing her struggles and what she'd had to endure in her childhood. "God, I miss being able to do whatever the fuck you want sometimes."
Finally, they'd cleared the school, after an hour or so, and were able to head back. "God, I'm fucking tired." Ellie groaned, excepting Joel's hand and using his grip to mount Shimmer. She settled behind him, her arms on his shoulders to stay balanced.
"Yeah, think we can both use some good sleep after that." Ellie nodded, nestling her head onto his shoulder and shutting her eyes, quickly lulling herself closer to sleep. "It's okay, kiddo… get some rest." He kissed the top of her forehead, feeling her body finally slump over and go limp, putting her small weight onto him. He breathed, taking her hand for a second and rubbing it before releasing it, getting them into town and looking towards the gates. The woman soldier from earlier was on the wall once again and Joel quickly remembered her name: Faye. She had piercing gray eyes and luscious blonde hair. Joel realized she almost looked like Sarah's mother. He waved to her, and she dipped her head in acknowledgment, waving back.
"Joel, right?" She asked from the gate and he looked up, nodding. "You two on patrol?"
"We were." He explained, quickly striking a conversation with the woman. She seemed pleasant, but part of her personality was off-putting. Whenever Joel mentioned ELlie, something hardened on the woman, almost as if he'd poured salt into a wound of hers. Though, he swept it off and eventually, Ellie's gentle breathing took him over, and he wished to get her into bed, as the sky had begun to darken.
"I best be gettin' her to bed." The woman nodded, her vision once again seeming to strangely cloud at the mention of Ellie, but once again, he shrugged it off, not taking it as any foreshadowing of something terrible to come. "See ya tomorrow?"
"Hope so." She smiled for a second, watching the pair ride off towards the stables. As his vision retracted from her, a sour frown spread on her lips and she glared at the man and the small girl, picking at her nails.
"Alright, stay right here, baby girl." Joel whispered, taking her off of the horse. She sleepily nodded, leaning against the ranch's wall for support. Meanwhile, he temporarily left her to lead the horse into the barn, finding two souls in it. He dipped his head in greetings towards Dina and Jesse, who nodded towards him.
"Hey." Dina greeted him, and he waved back. He left Ellie outside, not wanting her to have to face her heartbreak. It was a nice day for them, and he didn't want her to have to think about anything negative, maybe just for a day, if the world allowed it. "Patrol go okay?"
"Yeah, Ellie's tuckered out, so she wanted me to come in." Joel lied, not wanting her friends to worry. Dina nodded, taking Shimmer's reins from the man and leading her into the pen, locking it behind her and beginning to brush the horse, expelling the saddle from its chest.
"Okay. Tell her we said 'hey.'" Jesse spoke and Joel nodded, saluting an awkward goodbye to the friends before leaving the stables, seeing Ellie's sleepy figure where he'd left her.
"Alrighty, kiddo, let's get you home." Ellie nodded, exhaustion suddenly taking over her, as she was tired from the day's events. He took her in his arms, his arms placed under her knees and right by her neck, where the subtle bruising layed. Soon enough, they were home, and Joel carefully laid her body out on the couch, covering her frame with a blanket and handing her the worn plushie she'd learned to love in their five or six months in Jackson. It was of a dog and Joel smiled, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear before getting a rag from the kitchen, dousing it with warm water.
He washed her bruises, cascading warm water on her injured cheek, and her throat. He kissed her forehead, rubbing the cheek where the bruise was and watching her look up at him for a second, her last seconds of wake in their prime. "Get some rest, baby girl." He softly ordered her and she nodded, feeling him lay down beside her on the couch and take her into his arms, his hand gently playing with her now loose hair and untangling the knots gently, soothing her.
"I love you, Joel." She whispered and he smiled, kissing her forehead once more before watching her fall asleep in his arms, the blanket tucked up to their torsos.
"I love you, too, baby girl."