A/N: Sorry about the delay in posting this; it took me a while to get the motivation to improve some of the wording of the AO3 version.
WARNINGS: Implied rape and possible suicide attempt (I intentionally left it ambiguous).
2 WEEKS LATER
Shiza had initially thought that she was hallucinating when she saw land in the distance. At this point, her mental state was not the greatest. They had been even less prepared for this journey than she had initially thought. Rations were so short that she'd been consuming not much more than the bare minimum of food and water required to keep her alive, to ensure that her sons got enough. Sleep had similarly had to be snatched in tiny increments, only when she was certain that no other boats were nearby. And when she did permit herself to nod off, her slumber was plagued by nightmares. She always awoke wracked with guilt that she hadn't tried to escape sooner or taken some of the other children with her. The question raced through her head as she saw her children thrashing around in their sleep from their own bad dreams: Had she done enough?
However, it soon became apparent that the land was, in fact, real…and it was definitely not the volcanic islands with which she was so familiar. Despite being half-delirious, as well as not great at reading maps, Shiza had managed to get her boat across the Mo Ce sea and into colonial waters. However, she couldn't afford to celebrate just yet. It took another couple of days of sailing down the coast until they reached a small, shallow inlet. She hoped beyond hope that she'd found the right place; if she had been mistaken, she and her children might all die before they reached safety. But as she brought the Izayoi in, her heart leapt as she saw a solitary figure waiting for them. Rin. Her letter had indeed reached its destination.
Shiza beached the boat and hobbled through the shallows with her sons (she had accepted days ago that her ankle had little chance of ever healing properly). Her very pregnant sister ran up to them. Shiza fell into her arms as seafoam swirled around their ankles.
"I'm sorry, Shiza," Rin sobbed. "I'm so sorry. I should've protected you from him from the beginning, should have realized that your safety was more important than my damn pride!" Her voice cracked on this last word, and she paused to compose herself. "I promise I won't fail you this time. I've been waiting here day and night since I got your letter. Wei and I will do everything in our power to help you and Zoren and Teza."
"They could throw both of you in jail," Shiza pointed out, her voice hoarse from dehydration.
Rin backed away and sniffled. "Let us worry about that. You three should only be focusing on resting and recovering; you look half-dead. Oh, and what happened to your ankle?! We'll definitely have our doctor take a look at that." She glanced down at Shiza's bare and still heavily bruised foot.
"Okay. But first, take this," Shiza said. She reached into the pouch she'd sewn on the inside of her robe like a pocket, reached in, and took out a familiar heavy mass of gold and gemstones.
Rin gaped. "That's your…"
"Yes. That's the first necklace that he gave me. Melt it down so nobody sees you with it, and then…sell the individual parts if you want. Or throw it away for all I care. I brought other jewelry I can sell. Just get it out of my sight…please!"
To her shame, her voice broke as well. However, Rin seemed to understand. She nodded and took the awful thing away from her.
Only after seeing that her sons were safely in the nursery along with Rin's almost two-year-old daughter did Shiza allow herself to be taken care of. After two weeks of near-starvation at sea, even such heretofore trifling things as a hot bath and a bowl of plain noodles in broth felt like wanton luxuries, going above and beyond any of the sensual delights she had experienced at the palace. Then, after the doctor iced and bandaged her ankle and gave her pain medication, Shiza was shown to her room. She fell asleep almost immediately, cocooned in crisp linen sheets and secure in the knowledge that, come what may, she was currently truly safe for the first time since she'd arrived in the Caldera almost six years ago.
These past fourteen days had been among the worst in Azula's entire life. Father had long since recovered enough to resume his full duties, but he continued to ignore her. He refused to speak so much as one word to her. When she tried to look at him, he not only wouldn't look back, he actively avoided her gaze. And always, Naoko was hovering near him, a look of satisfaction on her face that didn't appear to be only of the emotional type. Mai and Ty Lee were acting oddly distant too. At least with Mai, that was understandable; she was all wrapped up in angst over Zuzu leaving her, after all. But Ty Lee…while normally it was easy for Azula to read her, what she was truly thinking remained elusive this time.
Today, though, things were looking up. Father had let her into the war meeting, and she was delighted to find out that he was still going to use her plan to subdue the Earth Kingdom. He'd even given her credit for it, and gave her a little smile while doing so! And this evening, she'd finally gotten her banquet for preventing the Avatar from reaching Father. Everyone had bowed to her, just as they had on her twelfth birthday. She'd weathered the punishment, and she was certain that Daddy would call for her tonight.
Her assumption had been proven correct; she'd scarcely gotten back to her rooms when the knocks came on her door. Having not yet found a trustworthy replacement for Shiza to prepare her for these trysts, she dressed herself in the undergarments Daddy preferred and slipped an extra low-cut sleeping robe over it.
After Daddy permitted her to enter his bedroom, she strode on in with her head high…only to discover that someone else was already in there. A young girl, maybe eleven or twelve, was huddled at the foot of the bed. Azula had no recollection of seeing this girl ever in her life, so she decided she must be a servant.
Eschewing any greeting, Daddy said, "We seem to be having a little predicament, Azula. This young lady doesn't want to take her clothes off. Perhaps you can convince her otherwise."
The girl looked at Azula with desperate eyes, silently pleading. It appeared that Azula's punishment was being continued after all, just in a more private way.
"Do as he says," she commanded flatly, shutting the door behind her.
2 MONTHS LATER
Mizuki had ended up spending a week in the hospital. She wasn't sure that the doctors knew entirely what they were doing, but it was a nice rest and she found the support groups helpful. Once she was discharged, she started to do research on different schools as planned. However, before she could apply to any of them, the Crazy Train really started going.
First, about a month after the eclipse, an ominous letter from the palace arrived at their house; the courier hand-delivered it. It consisted of only one sentence:
Schedule for your return to the palace to be determined after the comet.
Well, it could be worse. It appeared that there would be room for negotiation; perhaps she could delay it until the twins were weaned or even longer.
Then the comet was on its way, and Fire Lord was heading off to the Earth Kingdom to do a nice little bit of conquering. Except he wasn't the Fire Lord anymore; he was the Phoenix King. Whatever. His ceremony was mandatory attendance for everyone in the Harbor District. Even the twins were there in their double baby carriage, faces shielded from prying eyes by floppy summer hats. Mizuki had been worried that going would trigger her, but at first it was okay. The Princess Azula was there, too, and she and the Fire Lord had a bit of an argument. Whatever it was got resolved quickly, though, and the Fire Lord proceeded to be crowned (such as it was) with the absolute stupidest helmet that Mizuki had ever had the misfortune of laying eyes upon. At least it was difficult for her to be traumatized when she was biting her lip from trying not to laugh.
Then stuff started to get weird. They had all been expecting that this farce would end with his leaving on one of the airships; instead, he turned back towards the Caldera. The entire crowd saw the Fi…Phoenix King grasping the upper arm of the Princess and saying something to her. Although Mizuki and the rest of the crowd were too far away to either hear what he said or make out facial expressions, they did see how Azula's head drooped as she got back into her palanquin. Once the palanquins had left the royal plaza, everyone started murmuring in bewilderment. What was that all about?
Mizuki had a sickening feeling in her gut that she might indeed have a clue what "that" was about. During her time at the palace, she had heard some whispers speculating as to how close the Fire Lord and his daughter might actually be. When she, Mom, and Daichi got home, and the babies were snug in bed, Mizuki told Mom about her suspicions. She ended up crying herself to sleep in Mom's arms.
Then, two days later, the comet made its grand arrival. That entire day, the twins were fussy and sneezing sparks everywhere. At sunset, when the comet made its closest approach, everyone tried to pay attention to the fireball in the sky, but that was difficult when they were simultaneously attempting to keep an eye on those huge pillars of orange and blue flame coming from the Caldera. (And was that lightning?!)
The next several days were a nightmare. People rioted in the streets, all public buildings were closed, and no one knew exactly what the fuck had happened. Slowly, however, things began to calm down. Eventually, they learned that: 1. The Phoenix King had been neutralized by the Avatar and stripped of his throne. 2. Princess Azula and Prince Zuko had fought in an Agni Kai, which Azula had lost, and 3. Prince Zuko had been crowned as the new Fire Lord. Just a couple of days after his coronation, he headed off to Ba Sing Se for a peace conference, leaving more questions than answers. Many of the details were still elusive, such as what had happened to Azula, and why they were so certain that the Fire Lord/Phoenix King/whatever he was called now was no longer a threat, and what this all meant for the general populace. Since Zuko had not been in the palace while Mizuki had worked there, he was as much an enigma to her as he was to everyone else. Even so, as long as he left Mizuki and her family the fuck alone, she could tolerate him.
Naoko hadn't thought that anything could be worse than the bunker, but she had been proven wrong. This was much worse. She'd have thought that Azula would have been happy over being given the title of Fire Lord. Instead, she'd spent the entire day of her coronation banishing people left and right. So here Naoko was, along with Eri and ten of Eri's half-siblings, hiding in the basement of the dorm to wait this out. (One notable absence was that of Ruanyu; she and her peasant mother had made a disappearing act the night before.) At least in the bunker, she'd had her own room. Now, she was stuck with all these brats, who were hyped-up from the comet and constantly squabbling and burning each other. And if Izumi made that stupid dying manatee-whale sound one more time, Naoko was going to throttle her. Also with them were Zhilan's husband and their eight-month-old son. The latter soiled his diapers at an alarming rate, so now on top of everything else, the whole room stank.
For the entire night, they were stuck there. Naoko was starting to get the shakes. The time at which Azula was to be crowned came and went. They heard some alarming sounds coming from outside, but no one was brave enough to investigate. Then, things got eerily quiet. Usually, when a new Fire Lord was crowned, the festivities went on until dawn. Something had gone wrong.
The second morning, Ichiro ventured out to get more supplies, and came back with the news that Azula had been defeated by the traitor Zuko in an Agni Kai. Well…that wasn't the end of the world. Ozai would be back soon, and he would take care of things. They would continue to wait for him here.
Then, as it was getting towards evening again, there was pounding on the dorm's front door. Naoko, Anshi, and Ichiro went up to investigate.
"Hello! Is anyone in there?" came a male voice from outside. It didn't sound familiar, but maybe it was one of Ozai's guards. Naoko flung open the door, fully anticipating that she would be having mind-blowing sex with her Phoenix King within minutes. Instead, she came face-to-face with a group of four kids, none of whom were Fire Nation. And was that…was that the Avatar?!
But…if the Avatar was alive…then that meant Ozai was…
Blind rage filled her, and she charged at them. She was pretty sure she could have taken them, shakes and all, but her traitorous cousins restrained her.
"Give it up!" Anshi urged her. "There's nothing more we can do right now."
"THEY KILLED MY HUSBAND!" Naoko howled, squirming fruitlessly against Ichiro's strong grip. Yes, technically she and Ozai weren't married, but these strangers didn't need to know that.
All of the people of the group turned to look at the shortest member, who shook her head.
"Lying," she said. Shit.
"Uh…anyway, he's not dead," the tallest and apparently oldest member of the group said. "Loser Lord just arrived at the prison."
How dare that impudent child address the Phoenix King as such?! Naoko continued struggling, trying to breathe fire at them. However, she'd never been good at doing that, and could only manage a few small puffs of flame. Eventually, the combination of exhaustion and alcohol withdrawal did her in, and she had no choice other than to let herself be led away.
All of the palace's female inhabitants, down to the lowliest servants, were rounded up for medical treatment. Since the infirmary, where Azula was apparently being treated, was too small to hold all of them, a wing of the palace had been converted into a temporary part-hotel, part-hospital. Naoko was held there for a few days for detox. Like all the other girls and women, she and Eri were subjected to physical examinations of a very personal kind by a panel of female doctors, who found nothing out of the ordinary in either of them. People also attempted to interview Naoko, who sat in stony silence until they gave up. (So what if she'd had a child by Ozai? She'd been sixteen when she got pregnant. It was legal.) Eri was even given a pair of anatomically correct dolls to play with, in the hopes that she'd do something incriminating with them, which she didn't. At long last, the doctors resigned themselves to the fact that they weren't going to get any juicy details for their little investigation from them, and let them go…just in time for Zuko's coronation. Naoko hid in her room and drew the curtains shut, but nothing could block the loud cheers coming from outside.
The morning after the coronation, she was quite perplexed when she woke up to find herself back in the hospital wing. It was explained to her that she'd been found unconscious on the floor of her bedroom, empty bottles of sake surrounding her.
They asked her if she'd intended to kill herself. She swore up and down that she hadn't. Honestly, though, she couldn't remember anything about that night, so she wasn't sure either way.
3 MONTHS LATER
Over the next month, statues of the Not-Fire Lord were taken down, and not replaced with ones of the New Fire Lord as they'd all expected. The teachers at Daichi's school read the classes a special announcement that denounced Ozai (which is what they'd finally decided to call him) as a war criminal. However, that was just the kiddie version. The grownups got to hear all the details of the huge ring of pedophiles at the Royal Palace, the leader of whom was the man himself. Everyone was so shocked and scandalized about this. Mizuki, on the other hand, was so not-surprised that she doubted it was humanly possible for anyone to be less surprised than she was.
Also, much of the military was being dissolved. The good news was, Dad would be coming home soon. The bad news was that he might be out of a job.
One autumn afternoon, Mizuki was balancing Akemi on her hip with one arm while dusting the windowsills with the other when she saw a palanquin in the palace's colors pull up outside their house. She quickly pulled the curtains shut. Maybe if whoever was in there thought that they weren't home, they'd go away.
No such luck. There came a knock on the door less than a minute later, and Mom went to answer it before Mizuki could stop her. She heard Mom gasp and say "Your Highness…"
Yep, there he was, the new Fire Lord, accompanied by a tall, thin girl around his (and therefore Mizuki's) age. Mom started to bow to him, but he stopped her, holding his hands out and shaking his head with a mildly panicked expression. Mizuki put Akemi in the playpen with his sister, and walked up to the door wearing her best scowl.
"Go away," she snapped. This Zuko must think himself so clever, telling everyone all about his father's depravity, and then secretly taking the man's concubines for himself. Her hopes of being left alone had been in vain.
"Mizuki!" Mom scolded. "Where are your manners?!"
"It's hard to have manners when I've seen his father butt-naked," Mizuki pointed out. Zuko made an odd sputtering sound, and looked like he'd just had a very small stroke. His companion, on the other hand, did not appear disturbed. Now that Mizuki was thinking about it, this girl seemed vaguely familiar.
"W…we just wanted to talk with you," Zuko managed to squeak out.
"Well, I don't want to talk to you," Mizuki said.
"Please excuse my daughter," Mom said quickly. "She's been through a lot."
"That's okay," said the Fire Lord's friend. "I told him that they weren't all going to welcome us with open arms. If you feel uncomfortable about this, we'll leave."
"You have every right to be angry," Zuko added. "Mai and I just want to do all we can do to make things easier for you." He glanced over at Mai, as if looking for approval, and smiled when she gave a little nod
Well, he sounded sincere. One thing was for certain: he was no smooth-talking sleazebag like his father.
"Okay," she sighed. "You can come in." Mom said something about making some tea, and slipped out of the room.
"Well, make yourselves at home," Mizuki said, gesturing to the low table and cushions in the middle of the living room. "Sorry the cushions don't match. Daichi spilled tea on one of them a couple of years ago, and the store didn't sell that kind anymore."
"I lived in the Lower Ring of Ba Sing Se for a month," Zuko replied. "Mismatched cushions aren't gonna be a problem. Trust me."
They sat. Mom tiptoed into the room with the tea and left again just as quietly. The three of them sat there for a couple of minutes, sipping their tea, until Zuko took it upon himself to break the silence.
"So, um, I'm guessing we shouldn't bother with titles in this case. My name is Zuko…even though you probably know that already…and this is my betrothed, Mai."
Mai nodded. "We've met before. At the banquet."
They had? Well, that would explain why she looked familiar. Mizuki looked at Mai until it dawned on her.
"You were the one who got mad when the F…Ozai called me a knife expert!" she blurted out. Ugh. Mizuki, you really need to learn to keep your mouth shut.
Mai, however, did not appear concerned by the breach of etiquette. "Yeah. I really shouldn't have done that. Sorry."
"It's okay," Mizuki replied automatically. It was weird, talking to a Fire Lord and future Fire Lady like they were peers, instead of…what was she to them? Stepmother, maybe? No, she'd never been married to Ozai; what did they call it in that case? Step-concubine? Ultimately, she settled for a rather lame-sounding, "I'm Mizuki."
"We know," Zuko said. "Fa…Ozai kept files of all the ladies he…uhh…well…you know…um…" He broke off and flushed deep red.
"The ladies he got pregnant," Mai finished for him. "It's okay, Zuko. I know you're nervous because this is the first one we're doing, but we all know here that your dad couldn't keep it in his pants and was raising his own little child army and/or harem. Perhaps we should just get to the point?"
"Good idea," Zuko replied. "This is the part we practiced, anyway. So…like Mai just said, my father…couldn't keep it in his pants. As Fire Lord, it is my job to make reparations to everybody who was hurt by this country's former policies–so basically the entire planet. Fun. Then, when we finally got Ozai's safe opened and saw all the horrible stuff that was in there, it was clear that it wasn't just people in other countries that he was hurting. He'd preyed on so many girls that we decided we had to make reparations to them as well."
"He decided that," Mai corrected. "Zuko, you really need to start giving yourself credit for this stuff. We've talked about this before."
"Fine. I decided it," Zuko conceded. "We…I…will personally pay for the upbringing and education of your children. They, and you, will be invited to all major events and family gatherings, and you and your family will be given lodgings at the palace whenever you want them. We'll see to it that your father gets a new job. And my father's job offer for you still stands. Well, not the bad parts, obviously, but we'll keep a position open in the kitchens with chances for promotion. If you wanted to finish school first, I'll write a note to the Fire Lady Ilah school ordering them to readmit you."
This Zuko really did appear to be a decent guy after all, Mizuki thought. It would be tempting to let him fix all of her problems as if he had waved a magic wand. But…there was a problem.
"You are extremely generous," she began carefully. "I am delighted that you consider my children to be family, and will accept funds in their name. As for Dad…that's his decision to make, not mine. However, I cannot accept your job offer and note. If I do end up making it as a chef, I want it to be through my own merits and hard work, not just because some guy said it was okay."
Mai looked at Zuko. "She has a point, you know. I think I like her."
Zuko admitted, "I…I confess I never thought about it like that. Okay, then. Is there anything else you need, or wanted to ask?"
As a matter of fact, there was.
"I need to know the truth," she said. "Was my winning the internship rigged?"
Her heart pounded as Zuko took a few seconds to think.
"I don't recall seeing anything about that in the file, no. And those files were really thorough."
Mizuki's whole body slumped over as she was flooded with relief. It actually had been her own talent that had gotten her there, and not simply Ozai's whims!
"Thank you," she whispered.
"You're welcome," Zuko answered. "And…I also wanted to ask you something before we left. Is it all right if I can meet my brother and sister?"
He was really going all-out with this whole family thing, wasn't he?
"Sure," said Mizuki, walking over to the playpen and picking up the baby closest to the gate.
"This is Akane," she said, depositing the baby into Zuko's lap. "She's teething, and likes shiny things, so please be mindful of jewelry and hairpieces. She will put them in her mouth if you don't stop her in time. And this.."–turning back to the playpen–"is Akemi. He likes being held, and is a champion spit-bubble blower…"
8 MONTHS LATER
To the surprise of absolutely no one, Zuko had proven to be a terrible Fire Lord. All of the colonies were in varying degrees of rebellion because he was allowing the equally incompetent Earth King and a thirteen-year-old boy to lead him by the nose. Millions of Fire Nation citizens were out of work due to the downsizing of the military. And he was absolutely refusing to let sleeping koala sheep lie with regards to his father's sex life. This soft-hearted child was giving away bundles of money to any peasant girl who could craft a convincing sob story. And seeing as he was already spending like a drunken sailor on unnecessary reparations to the Earth Kingdom and Southern Water Tribe, it was an expense the crown could ill afford.
One thing he was keeping quiet on for the moment was the whereabouts of Azula. She had vanished into some institution or other, and there were whispers about what had really happened to her before her would-be coronation. Some even said that she was pregnant. (By whom?, said the annoying little voice in Naoko's head. BY WHOM?)
Zuko had also made sweeping changes within the court itself. He'd kicked out many of the members of Ozai's council, although Naoko's father had been among the ones who had kept their jobs. Dr. Huang had been stripped of his medical license and banished from the palace. Perhaps the most unpopular change of all was that Zuko had placed a flat ban on anything stronger than plum wine being served at dinner. He never explicitly said that this was because of Naoko, but everyone knew it anyway.
At any rate, she had been (mostly) sober for months now, and she once again had a purpose in life. Two weeks ago, Father had told her that he had a special mission for her. He'd given her no details except that she should be prepared to do public speaking. Naoko had taken courses in rhetoric at the Royal Fire Academy, so she thought this shouldn't be a big deal.
They'd traveled back to the Shuhon estate, and in the basement of the house, a delightful surprise had awaited. The room was full of Fire Nation flags and emblems, and a portrait of the true Fire Lord hung in a place of honor at the front of the room. Underneath the portrait was a stage with a podium, where speeches could be given. Naoko saw many familiar faces in the crowd of people taking their seats, including ex-Dr. Huang and Lord Ukano. Father ascended the stage, and waited for the people to all be seated and quiet.
"Welcome, everyone. I would like to introduce the New Ozai Society to my daughter Naoko as the first order of business today," he said to the crowd. He pointed at the podium. "Naoko, perhaps you would like to say a few words?"
As she mounted the steps to join Father, Naoko was briefly worried that she might blank out in front of everyone. However, the words ended up coming to her as easily as if the spirits had provided them.
"I met Ozai when I was thirteen," she began. "He was only a prince then, and a second son at that. But I took one look into his eyes, and I knew immediately that he was destined for great things."
She recounted a somewhat sanitized version of the years they'd spent together: how they'd often talk and laugh late into the night; the delight that had been in Ozai's eyes when he'd held Eri for the first time; the quiet time they'd spent together as he had recovered from his back injury. There were enough stories to tell that she doubted anyone noticed the periods of time that she'd omitted entirely.
"Ozai was a powerful and decisive ruler; a great Fire Lord," she concluded. "He would have been a great Phoenix King as well, if his position hadn't been usurped. I say that it's high time we dispose of the whining manchild who calls himself Fire Lord and get our rightful ruler put back on the throne!"
The crowd gave her a huge round of applause. As he led Naoko off the stage, Father said that he was very proud of her, and that she'd been one of the best speakers they'd had yet! Now that she'd been fully accepted into the group, she could begin the special role they'd made just for her.
Today, there would be no huge pile of hair or flashy clothing. Instead, Naoko chose modest robes and had her maidservant arrange her hair into an unassuming half-topknot. It was no secret that she made regular trips to the prison. In fact, she had even applied for conjugal visits, although her request had been turned down immediately. Today, however, it would be a good idea not to draw too much attention to herself.
When her palanquin arrived at the tall and imposing building, a guard escorted her down the dark and dusty hallways. From experience, Naoko knew to lift her hemline up so that it didn't get absolutely filthy.
Upon reaching her destination deep in the bowels of this fortress at long last, she saw that her customary stool had already been set up outside the cell door. She gave a deep bow to the cell's occupant (this space was too cramped for a full kowtow), and settled herself on her seat. The guard retreated back a little.
Naoko knew not to ask how Ozai was doing, since that would only make him angry. Instead, she started by saying, "My Phoenix King. I trust that my parcel made it to you safely?" She had sent him another drawing of Eri, done on her daughter's fourth birthday last week.
"I did," Ozai confirmed. "Beautiful."
"And you know why I'm here today?" she continued. He nodded.
Naoko's new job was that of messenger. Father had said that the New Ozai Society had been having trouble finding a way to reliably communicate with their ruler. The hope was that Naoko, who was already a known visitor of Ozai, could more easily slip correspondence into and out of the prison. She reached into her bag, and took out a sheet of paper and writing supplies. Leaning closer to the bars, so it would be harder for the guard to see what she was doing, she murmured, "What message do you have to give to your supporters today?"
He started dictating, and she put brush to paper and began to write.
1 YEAR LATER
Once Shiza had gotten her bearings, she and her sons had boarded a train to the colonial province of Yu Dao...or, more specifically, to the colony's eponymous capital city. It had been Rin who recommended that destination since it was one of the most progressive of the Fire Nation's holdings (Shiza had heard Ozai complain about "those fucking Yu Dao liberals" more than once). An unwed mother would not attract talk there like it would in the home islands or many of the newer colonies. Also, Yu Dao City was one of the most populous in the colonies, so hopefully it would be easier for them to disappear into the crowds. Shiza had taken on the assumed name of Rina, but had decided that it wasn't feasible to change her sons' names.
Settling in wasn't easy. The first couple of weeks, they'd had to stay in a sucession of cheap inns, and subsisted solely on takeout. However, Shiza was eventually able to secure a nice enough rental house by using the money Rin gave her and selling some of her jewelry. Knowing that people might start getting suspicious if she sold any more of it, she squinted through job postings in the newspaper until she secured a position at a combination day spa and beauty salon, which had a daycare on the premises. Although she knew she was fortunate indeed to have found such a good match for her somewhat limited skill set, the fact remained that balancing a job and full-time motherhood was exhausting. She'd thought she'd been involved in her children's lives before, but now she had no nurse to rely on if she was having a bad day. And there were so many chores that she had to do for the first time! Her initial attempts at cooking were not for the faint of heart (especially that time she sliced off her fingertip while trying to cut into a winter squash). The first time she successfully prepared an edible meal of komodo chicken, rice, and vegetables, she thought it just might have been the greatest accomplishment in her entire life other than giving birth.
There was also cleaning to deal with; she was amazed at how quickly clutter and dust and various cooking spills piled up when there weren't servants to put stuff away and do the heavy cleaning. The garbage was even more agonizing to deal with; it seemed as if it would start to smell bad if she so much as looked in its general direction. Their house always seemed to resemble a pig-chicken sty, no matter how hard she tried to keep up.
At least the kids were adjusting about as well as one could expect. After a setback from the stress of their escape and move, Teza had finally completed his toilet training. He was smiling and talking more, and even had a couple of classmates that he liked to play with. Zoren, of course, made friends with nearly all of the children in his class almost immediately. Unfortunately, in his desire to be liked, Zoren had trouble keeping his mouth shut about their past life in the palace. A few weeks into the school year, the teacher called her in for a conference.
"Zoren is a sweet boy and a great helper in the classroom," the teacher said. "However, we are concerned that he's getting too fixated on his imaginary stories about the royal family."
That evening, Shiza and Zoren had a discussion about how their life in the palace was a secret, just between him and her and Teza. Zoren sulked until bedtime, but did start speaking about it a lot less.
They had just gotten into a tolerable routine when the shakeup after Sozin's Comet happened. Now Zuko was Fire Lord. Shiza knew that he'd welcome her back to the palace, but she wasn't mentally prepared to return yet. Besides, she liked Yu Dao. The architecture was beautiful, and the people were nice. A man who lived down the street from Shiza and her children even asked her out on a date. His name was Jinhai, he was in his late twenties, had recently been divorced, and had a six-year-old daughter, of whom he shared custody with his ex-wife. Shiza had met him when she'd pounded on his door in a panic, hands full of unpaid bills. Her math was even worse than her reading was, and he had happened to be the first neighbor who had been at home when she looked for help. He'd been very patient with her as he assisted her with adding and subtracting the daunting numbers, and hadn't asked any questions.
Shiza, of course, had never been on a date before. The idea of just doing something with a potential love interest that wasn't inevitably a prelude to sex seemed alien to her. But she liked him, so she accepted the offer and got a babysitter lined up for the kids.
They had a nice evening out at a teashop. Jinhai had even walked her back to her house. Then he'd leaned in a bit as if to kiss her, and she'd panicked and cried out.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just got out of a really bad relationship…" she babbled, fearful that she'd ruined everything and waiting for Jinhai to get angry at her. But he didn't.
"Whoa, it's okay if you don't want to kiss!" he'd said. "You don't have to explain yourself, Rina. If you don't want to, then we won't do it." She'd thought for certain that he'd want nothing more to do with her, only to be surprised when he asked her out again the very next week. The teashop became a weekly tradition for them. Jinhai made no further attempts to kiss her, leaving it to Shiza to initiate…which she did, finally, a few months later. It was soft and gentle, and so unlike anything she'd ever experienced before.
Then, just as things were going so well, reality reared its ugly head once again. Zuko's attempts to move all people of Fire Nation ancestry back to the home islands were stirring up unrest in Yu Dao. The established residents of the city were increasingly viewing any new arrivals as potential agents of the Fire Lord and his friends. Shiza had heard stories at work of houses being vandalized and even broken into. There had been no actual escalation to physical violence yet. Nevertheless, she wasn't sure she wanted to risk waiting around for it to inevitably happen when the safety of her children was at stake.
And then, on top of all that, Zoren had had a huge blowup, the likes of which Shiza had never seen from him before. It had started off as a relatively minor dispute over some mismatched clothes he wanted to wear to school, but quickly escalated.
"I HATE YOU!" he had shouted. "I liked Dorm, and the palace, and Prince Zuko, and Platty, and you took it all away!"
The look of rage in his eyes was something with which Shiza was very familiar, and she backed away from him. She'd managed to keep her composure just long enough to order him to his room; it would obviously be futile to try to get him to school today. Then, after making sure that Teza was occupied, she shut herself into her own room and broke down.
She'd been hoping that Zoren's silence on their former life had meant that he was forgetting it. Instead, he'd been keeping all his emotions locked inside until they exploded. It couldn't have been easy for him, knowing that he was telling the truth while his teacher kept insisting that it was all in his head. Poor boy. As she calmed down, she thought that, at the very least, he deserved an explanation for why his life had been uprooted.
That evening, after she put Teza to bed, she told Zoren that they were going to have a "grown-up talk." She prepared cups of his favorite mint tea for both of them, and even got the jar of honey out and told her older son to put as much in as he liked. He ended up dumping out about half of the jar, much of which ended up on the table, but Shiza chose to overlook that.
She began by saying that this was a secret between the two of them, that not even Teza would know for the time being. Zoren, while still rather sullen and not meeting Shiza's gaze, couldn't resist the allure of that.
"When I was fourteen, my sister and I were sent to the palace. Do you remember why?" she began.
"Yeah. To do Princess Azula's hair," Zoren replied. Shiza had told him the story of her journey to the Caldera many times, and he was obviously wondering what that had to do with anything.
"Well, now you get to hear the rest of the story," Shiza told him. "The very first night I was there, the Fire Lord saw me, and…and decided that he wanted to have babies with me." It was a tough balancing act, producing a retelling that was both age-appropriate and accurate.
Zoren thought about this. Finally, he inquired, "Where're the babies? I didn't see any."
Shiza gave a little smile. "You and Teza were the babies." She'd decided to not actually use the word "father" unless Zoren made the connection himself. If he had, however, he kept it to himself.
"I had you, and then I had Teza, and I was so, so happy," she went on. "But I became sad because the Fire Lord only cared about children who could do things for him. And then…you showed that you were good at firebending, and he wanted to keep you all to himself. He…he was going to take you away from me. Forever. So I had to get you out of there."
Zoren's eyes went big as he looked at Shiza for the first time this evening. "Forever?" he breathed. After that, he said nothing further for several minutes. Shiza sat there quietly as well, giving him as much time as he needed to process all this.
After he drank most of his cup of highly-sweetened tea, he admitted, "He always had a frowny-face on. And I didn't like when he made 'Zumi cry. I told Anshi that he was a meanie, but she just said SSSHHHH!" He put his finger to his lips to demonstrate.
"You were right," Shiza said. "He is a meanie. A big old dumb meanie. And now his frowny-faced butt is in jail where it belongs."
She made Zoren giggle a little with her use of semi-forbidden language. He made a little hmm, gulped down the rest of his now-lukewarm tea, and pointed out, "Prince Zuko's the Fire Lord now. He won't take me away forever."
He was right, of course. Shiza, after staying up most of the night thinking, decided that it was time for her to face her fears. The next morning, she talked to Teza while preparing him for daycare to see if he was okay with going back, since she knew he hadn't had an easy time of it those last couple of months.
"You won't have to go to the dorm anymore," she vowed as she fastened the frog closures on his tunic. "And we'll get to see the turtleducks again. Doesn't that sound nice?"
Teza nodded, but remained silent.
Shiza hastily assured him, "If you really don't want to go, then that's okay. We'll just have you stay with Aunty Rin and Uncle Wei for a while. You had lots of fun playing on the beach with Cousin Kyo when we were there last time, remember?"
"No. I wanna go see the turtleducks," Teza decided. Over the next several weeks, Shiza asked him about it again multiple times to make sure he hadn't changed his mind, but he never did. So that was that.
She waited a couple of months for their lease to run out. Then she gave her two weeks' notice at work, (which was just as well since she was already in trouble for not calling in sick on the day of Zoren's meltdown), packed up, and purchased boat tickets for the trip home. She hoped that she could get Zoren started with his formal education once there, and hire a servant to help her improve her housekeeping skills. Her ultimate goal was to return to Yu Dao permanently in a year or two, after this whole mess died down, and knew she'd have to come clean to Jinhai at that point. She'd only told him part of the truth: that she'd decided to move back to the home islands due to the recent animosity against newly-arrived Fire Nation natives. Would he even like her anymore after he found out she'd been lying to him this whole time? She wasn't sure. Right now, though, she had to focus on doing what was best for her children.
So here they were, at the palace again. She had been prepared to have to explain things to the guards at the outermost gates. However, they opened the gates to her before she could say anything.
"We've been expecting you. Welcome back," one of them said.
Shiza and her sons were taken into the building and shown into the Fire Lord's middle antechamber. She noted that the display of sake bottles had been removed, as well as a lot of the military-themed imaging that had once adorned the walls. After they'd only been waiting a short time, the doors flung open and the young Fire Lord and his fiancée rushed into the room. Cries of Where were you? and We were looking everywhere for you! and I missed you guys so much! and Prince Fire Lord Zuko! Guess what?! I'm five now! filled the room. Zoren flew into Zuko's arms, and even Teza allowed his older half-brother to embrace him. Mai, who was actually smiling, gave Shiza a little half-hug.
"Impeccable timing," she remarked. "We needed something good to happen for once."
There was obviously a long story behind Mai's statement, but Shiza didn't want to think about it right this moment. Today was for reunions and happiness. The palace had never truly been home for her before. Perhaps now, it could be.
A/N: There's one more chapter left, where I put some bonus notes, references, and a deleted scene.