Leilani

While there were still some things I was unsure about, I was confident that Jasper had feelings for me. When we kissed for the second time, I felt his cold hands and thought again about how he and his family were so different. Their eyes were so similar but they weren't all related by blood. Alice and Jasper were also always cold, and none of them seemed to eat much.

As I got ready, finding my bag and purse, I decided I would ask Jasper once we were sitting down and having lunch. If he didn't eat much then, then I would know it wasn't a coincidence. If he knew he would be asking me to have lunch with him, then surely, he wouldn't have filled himself up. Surely, he would want to eat as well?

Much to my mum's dismay, I said goodbye. I saw her standing at the front window, watching me get onto Jaspers motorcycle. I waved at her. She mouthed 'be careful', putting a hand on her face in worry.

I nodded, smiling, sliding my hands around Jasper's waist. There was a small sense of confidence in me now about touching him after all the physical contact we had shared.

"Hold on," he warned me, and I let myself hold onto him tighter which seemed to satisfy him as he started the bike.

We rode down the winding roads towards the city, the wind hitting my face. I found myself laughing, the happiest I'd felt in a while. After all the shit, I had some great friends, and I hadn't scared Jasper away. He had seen me at my worst, and was still there. I didn't know what we were, if we were anything, but it seemed like he actually wanted me.

It was still a bit early when we arrived in the city, so we walked around. I picked up a new video game from one of the shops, and we spent some time in the arcade. He asked me about a hundred questions from my favourite colour (electric blue), to my fondest childhood memory (visiting a bird park with my grandparents).

Strangely, when I asked him similar questions about his own past, he wasn't so willing to open up. I supposed being adopted was difficult, however he didn't seem troubled by it – more apathetic. Mostly, he said he couldn't remember growing up – his favoured memory was learning to ride a horse as a child in Texas with his mother leading. I thought it was beautiful.

Except something didn't add up. If he was from Texas, how was he so pale?

Finding a table in the food hall, I took a seat as Jasper insisted on getting the food for us. While he was queuing, I got out my phone and did a little searching.

I had no idea what I was looking for. Maybe he and his family had some kind of condition? Maybe that was why they had all found each other? Perhaps the doctor was particularly interested in helping people will a rare disorder, though that sounded really messed up in my head. It just seemed so odd that they all had the same strange eyes, the same pale skin, the lack of appetite.

As I scrolled through the search results, I could only find bullshit. A lot of them lead to supernatural websites, detailing ghosts and spectres. Obviously the Cullens weren't ghosts. And then I found a blog post by someone. They wrote about meeting someone with cold, pale skin, and black eyes.

I thought back to standing in the hallway after Jasper had told me he cared about me. His eyes had been very dark, almost black. This person seemed to be onto something. I read further on, the author explained how people were also going missing where they lived and they felt like this strange person was connected in some way. After that there were no more posts. Frowning, I locked my phone. That hadn't helped at all.

"Dinner is served," Jasper place a tray of fast food down on the table in front of me.

I felt my frustration melt away as I began eating. Food had never tasted so good. I finished my huge burger along with the chicken nuggets, fries. Sitting back, I sipped my milkshake, finally focusing on what Jasper was having.

A single bag of fries, and a bottle of water.

I felt the frustration come back.

"Big breakfast?" I questioned, with no humour unlike the day before.

"I'm just not hungry." Jasper replied, looking down at his food.

"You never are." I said.

He glanced back up at me, "What's wrong?"

I took a breath. I didn't want to ruin everything, but I needed to know. "Is there something going on? You and your family… you're just so different."

Jasper looked awkward, dropping the fry he was holding onto the tray. "Is that a problem?" he asked.

"No," I said at once. "And I know I said you didn't have to tell me anything you didn't want to. I'm just trying to understand."

"Understand what?"

"Your strange eyes that change colour, and how you and Alice are so cold! How can all of you be adopted but be so similar? And none of you eat that much. Like you can't maintain muscles without eating a lot. I'm sorry, I'm just trying to understand." I put my milkshake on the table, sitting back and waiting for his response.

It seemed I'd gone too far as he turned away, clearly uncomfortable with all my questions. "Can you just respect my privacy?" he said quietly. "Please, Leilani. This isn't the right time."

I pressed my lips together, staring at him. Jasper had been so kind to me, so supporting, but was all his secrets worth it? Did I really need more problems when I was so messed up already? After Lewis, and now seeing Jasper so private with almost everything about himself, I wasn't sure that I really wanted to be with anyone for a while. Perhaps I was destined to be alone. This was getting so complicated.

"Then let me know when it is the right time." I pushed against the table, my chair scraping across the floor.

"Leilani," Jasper reached his hand across the table towards me, his golden eyes pleading.

"See you later." I stood up, striding to the escalators.

Jasper

I felt like a fucking coward. My entire family had given me their blessing, yet I still couldn't tell her. Hearing her explain everything she had noticed that was unusual, that wasn't human, added with the annoyance from her had thrown me. Of course, she was confused, of course she was frustrated.

It had been such a great morning, getting to know her more. Although when she asked about me, I didn't want to lie, and despite my family's acceptance I couldn't get past it. I couldn't tell her. She had finally begun to feel at ease again, even confident. How could I ruin that?

And I still did.

I watched her walk away, feeling absolutely powerless. All I could do was sit there, frozen. Alice hadn't told me that would happen. Could she have known I'd screw everything up? Could she have known I was no longer a brave soldier, instead a scared teenage boy.

I met up with my sister at the back of our house. Alice was lying in the hot tub, and as soon as I approached her, she gave me a half-smile, having undoubtedly been expecting me.

"Hey, Jas," she closed her eyes, leaning back. "What happened?"

I leant on the railing that overlooked the immaculate garden, sighing. After a moment's hesitation I told her "I got scared." Even though Alice and I were so close, it was difficult to admit.

"Do you want me to listen or do you want advice?" she offered.

"I don't know, Alice," I replied. "It's harder than I thought it would be."

She reached over and turned off the jets. How was she so calm about this? I could feel everything she felt, and still had no clue what it must be like to know almost everything that would happen before it did. If only I could've had that gift instead.

"What's stopping you?" Alice asked.

I shook my head, turning to face her. "I just want her to feel normal."

To my surprise, Alice laughed, humour floating off her. "Oh, Jasper. You can change people's emotions all day long, but you can't change who they are."

She stood up, climbing out and wrapping herself in a towel. "And the longer you wait, the less control you'll have."

"Only fortune tellers speak in riddles." I muttered.

Alice smiled. "They also charge for their services."

She walked away, leaving me to my thoughts. I would have to tell Leilani, but not yet. Maybe it would be possible to be there for her until she had recovered somewhat. If she'd let me.

I tried calling her. No answer. I tried again and she cut me off after the first ring. She was definitely still angry.

For a few minutes I thought about what to do, pacing back and forth across the deck. In the end I decided to send her a message. That, at least, she couldn't ignore.

'I'm sorry, Leilani', I wrote. I wanted to say that I would keep my promise of telling her everything eventually, but I didn't know if I could even keep that promise anymore.

A few seconds later, my phone buzzed in my hand as she had written back. It simply read, 'Ok'.

Messaging was so infuriating without being able to feel the other person's emotions. Was she still pissed off? Had she accepted my apology? I didn't think so. It was so difficult to tell. Phones were exhausting.

I sat down on the steps, putting my phone away. I'd just have to try and talk to her again tomorrow.