11

"A friend of mine experienced a tragedy that I can't even comprehend," Jack said. "Lost everything. When he could finally talk about it, he told me his biggest regret was all the things he hadn't said. Saying no when he should have said yes. And I realized we're all seconds away from devastation. We have to live for something other than ourselves. I'd gone to church growing up, but it was more like something we were supposed to do. Someplace we needed to be seen. I finally wanted it to be more, and soon it became this incredible journey. Eventually, I knew I was supposed to be a minister. Telling everyone caused a pretty seismic meltdown."

"Your wife leaving," Ianto said.

"Not just Lucia. It also meant leaving the family company. My father accused me of turning my back on the family and said if I went to seminary I'd better be prepared to never come back."

"They cut you off completely?" Ianto gripped his cocoa tight enough to crush the cup. Hot liquid spilled over the edge, and he cursed.

"Careful." Jack took his hand and lifted it toward one of the street lamps that lined the boardwalk. He brushed a finger across the mound of Ianto's thumb. Ianto supposed he was just being thorough in checking for injury, but his touch set off a riot of sensation.

As angry as he'd been with Jack a few minutes ago, now he wanted to weep for him. he couldn't imagine experiencing such a monumental life calling and then having everyone you love reject you because of it. His own parents, and what kind of a crazy woman walked away from a man like Jack?

"I'm sorry," Ianto said. "So, you still don't talk to them? Is that why you're here?"

"We talk." Jack's shoulders lifted in a careless shrug, but he knew being rejected by your family had to be the worst thing imaginable. His mother may have died, but Ianto had always known he'd been loved. "Our conversations are very… rehearsed… I guess is the best word. We're all trying not to say the wrong thing. As for Christmas, my parents never really did follow holiday traditions. Winter breaks usually meant a trip somewhere exotic and exciting. I can't remember the last time they were home on Christmas. This year they're in the South of France."

"Do you have brothers or sisters?"

"A younger brother. Same story, pretty much. We're more like polite strangers. He's in Saint Barts right now."

A hard fist lodged in Ianto's throat. "That's awful."

"Ianto." Jack lifted his hands and touched Ianto's cheeks. It was only when he saw moisture on his finger that he realized he'd been crying. "Don't be sad for me. I'm sorry about the break with my family, but I don't regret the path I went on for a moment. Especially, when that path brought me here. I think I was destined to come to Cardiff."

"Why did you choose such a town? You probably could have been hired at some big London church with a lot of prestige."

"I was at one for a while, but it wasn't right for me. There were so many members, most of whom I'd never even met. So, when I saw the job notice for Cardiff, I took another leap of faith and decided to go for it. I knew coming here would change my life again, but I had no idea about the other amazing thing I would find."

His head lowered and Ianto's breath caught. Ianto stood, moving himself to him. The touch of his lips sent a wave of sensation crashing through Ianto, like a live current zipping across his body. Jack closed the remaining distance between them, but just as his arm went about Ianto's waist, a persistent ringing invaded.

Jack lifted his head. "I think that's yours."

"What?" Ianto gazed up at him in confusion.

"Your cell," he said, his lips curving in a smile that seemed way too satisfied.

"Oh." Ianto still couldn't quite get his mind back in gear. Then he registered the ringing.

"Oh!" Ianto could hear him chuckling softly as he scrambled for his phone.

"Hello?"

"Ianto! Where are you?"

The panic-stricken sound of her father's voice brought her back to earth. "Tad? I'm in town. What's wrong?"

"There's a fire at the church," he said. "I got a call that the alarm went off. Fire trucks are on the way."

"A fire? Oh no! Is it bad?"

"I don't know. I pray not."

"I'll head back right now."

Ianto hung up and turned to tell Jack, but he was already taking his arm to lead him toward their cars.

"You heard, I guess," Ianto said.

He nodded.

"I can't believe it," Ianto said. "How could a fire spring up like that? Everything was fine when we left."

"Hopefully, that means it hasn't had a chance to spread too far," Jack said.

"Oh Jack, what if—"

"Don't play what if. We don't know how bad it is yet. Listen, why don't you ride with me, and we can come back for your car later? You shouldn't be driving when you're upset."

"Okay, sure."

The drive back to the church seemed to take forever. He wanted to yell at Jack to go faster. He must have heard his silent scream because his foot pressed harder on the gas.

"What if I did something?" Ianto asked.

Jack flicked a glance at him. "You?"

"I was the last one at the church. What if—"

"Didn't I tell you not to play that game?" Jack asked, his voice going softer, gentler. "We don't know anything, least of which is how the fire started."

"I know, but—"

"But nothing. It's not your fault."

Ianto hoped he was right, but he couldn't stop second-guessing.

A minute later, they rounded a corner and Ianto got his first glimpse of the church. Flames licked the side of the building, spilling out from the windows of the sanctuary. A fire truck was pulled up next to the church, water shooting out of a hose toward the blaze. Jack careened up the driveway and braked, making the tires squeal against the asphalt. He threw the car into park and jumped out. "Let's see what's happening."

"I can see what's happening," Ianto shouted back as he joined him. "The church is burning."

Jack threw him a withering look. "Just come on."

Together, they raced toward the building. A fireman in full regalia stopped them at the edge of the grass. "Stay back!"

Ianto glared at him. he'd gotten a look at his face and recognized him as yet another person he went to school with.

"We're not going to rush the building, Ely Bremmer."

Ely sighed. "Sorry Ianto. People stop thinking when their home is on fire."

Home.

A fist landed in his gut at his words. Ely was right. This church was as much his home as the one he'd grown up in. He'd spent almost as much time here. His entire life, including memories of his mother, was contained within those burning walls.