Zelda could not remember having gone back to Impa's house, but somehow, she must have made her way back there, for when she opened her eyes the next time, it was to find herself lying in the spare bed in the room just beneath the roof, the sound of Paya's breathing letting her know that she was really back there once again.
Unlike before, unlike when the disaster had first struck and she had been able to believe for even a second after waking up that she was back in the old world where things made sense and her biggest worry was whether or not her father would find any reason to criticise her for her grades and choice of classes, everything that had passed the day before was with her from the moment she woke up, making it feel almost like it was physically present in her body as she dug her elbows into the mattress, forcing herself up into a sitting position. With how she now knew to identify the presence in the back of her mind as the memories of past lives, Zelda should perhaps not have been surprised by that, and still, she found herself staring out into the darkness, both unable to lie back down and to continue. Heading downstairs, having to come face to face with Impa and the fact that she had undoubtedly proceeded to tell Link what had to be done to satisfy the cycle and the destinies that had brought them there, all of it felt like a weight that had been placed on her chest, Zelda struggling to breathe as it continued to press down.
"Zelda?"
The voice was low, and still, Zelda looked in the direction of it, only to find that Paya had moved over to stand next to her bed. With how she clutched something in front of her, looking down at it rather than at Zelda, it was clear that the hesitant noise had belonged to her.
With a smile she knew was strained, Zelda looked up at her. "Yes?"
"Well, it's just that I thought that with how my grandmother did not seem to mind your friends having borrowed clothes from the people in the village, you might want to be able to change into something a little…"
It felt like her mind was refusing to cooperate, but even then, Zelda was able to recognise the bundle in Paya's arms for what it was: clothes.
She had expected for it to be nothing but a polite facade, but as Zelda nodded, she was surprised to hear the honest gratefulness in her own voice. "Yes, I would like that very much. Thank you, Paya."
In the darkness, Zelda was not able to tell whether Paya's ears had turned red the same way they had done when she had first met her, but she heard how her voice shook slightly as she placed the clothing down on her bed. "It was nothing. I mean, with… well, everything, the least I could do was to try to find you something to wear."
Zelda had expected for Paya to leave it at that, to head back downstairs, perhaps giving her one last instruction from Impa before she left, but when that did not happen, Paya instead pausing halfway through a step away from the bed, standing there for a second before she seemed to make a decision and move to sit down next to Zelda on the bed, all Zelda could do was to look at her and realise that she was waiting for her to say something.
Swinging her legs over the side of the bed, trying her best to push back down the feeling that she was about to make a mistake, Zelda could only continue to send stolen glances in the direction of Paya as she tried to guess what she wanted to hear. There was little doubt about what Zelda would have wanted to be told if she had been in her place. To be assured that Kakariko Village and the sense of home she might have been able to create after having been brought there by her grandmother—that was essential, and still, as Zelda opened her mouth to try to find a lie that would fit what Paya needed to hear, she felt nothing but emptiness in her mind. There was nothing, Zelda realised, nothing at all for her to say, and so, she remained silent.
Maybe Paya was able to guess the reason for her silence. That, or perhaps the awkward silence around them was enough to make her talk despite the way she fidgeted with the hem of her sleeve. No matter what explanation would turn out to be correct, fact was that Paya took a deep breath before the bed creaked below her as she looked over at Zelda. "I just wanted for you to know that… that I had no idea about the cycle. I knew that you were the current incarnations of the Zeldas, Links, and Ganondorfs from the legends, but I had thought that you had come here because you are the only ones capable of putting a stop to the effects of the disease and bring back those we lost, not that the disease was directly caused by your past."
"You heard about that?"
"Yes…" Paya's answer came after a moment of silence, one that was just long enough for Zelda to be able to picture the blush rising to dust her ears with red. "I stood just around the corner, up on the landing. I know that I should not have done it and I swear that I did not tell anyone about what I heard, but I just had to know what it was that had made my grandmother look forwards to your arrival in a way that made it seem like you would be the saviours of the entire world."
The easy thing to do would have been to stay silent, and for a moment, Zelda considered choosing that option, to inform Paya that she appreciated the gesture of bringing her clean clothes and that she would prefer some privacy while she changed, but it only lasted a moment before she knew that she owed her more than that.
Hearing how hollow her voice sounded, Zelda looked in the direction of Paya. Though she might not be able to see her as well as she would have been able to if it had not been for the darkness in the room, she could at least give Paya the chance to look into her eyes as she spoke. "I am sorry. I had no idea that we were the reason for the disease. I—Hylia, and you lost your entire village—everyone did, all because of some choice I or someone with part of my soul inside of them made in the past." her head felt heavy as she pressed her fingers to her temples, pushing against it like it would help her make sense of what was happening, of the fact that she was still not sure what the idea of reincarnation entailed other than meaning that she was responsible for the deaths of millions.
Had it not been for how her entire body felt like it was made of lead, Zelda was sure that she would have jumped from surprise as she felt a hand against her shoulder. There was only one possible explanation for that, and still, Zelda had to lift her head just to make sure that it was really Paya who was the reason for that, that there was not someone else who had entered the room unnoticed to try to comfort her.
But no, it was indeed Paya who sat there, a twinkle in her eyes that Zelda did not know how to read as she patted her lightly on the shoulder, just as it was Paya who broke the silence between them again. "I am not blaming you for that Zelda. No one is—or, well," Paya stopped herself, looking up as she began to ramble, "of course no one is going to even consider the question of whether or not to blame you for what has happened because, other than me, Impa, and perhaps Purah and then, of course the three, of you, I doubt that anyone knows about the cycle, but still, I know that no one is going to blame you for it. In fact, with how much time Impa spent preparing for your arrival, I am sure that there is still hope for everything."
It made an almost frightening amount of sense, Zelda decided, so much that she could not quite determine if it could really be true or if it was merely the result of her wishing for it to be real. If she tried to forget about the fact that this was about her, that, if Paya was wrong and Impa really did resent her for what had happened, Zelda was to blame for that feeling, the way Impa had come out to greet them, organising for her to be able to sleep inside her home and making it so that both Ganondorf and Link were treated for their injuries, would be an indication that she was glad that they were there. And, Zelda thought, since she had been the one to inform them of the connection between themselves, the cycle, and the disease, she must have known about it already back then. There was no joy and no moment of clarity where she would be able to say without a shadow of a doubt that she was certain that Paya might be right, but it was enough to allow her to unclench her jaw, sending Paya a smile she doubted she could see in the darkness.
"Thank you. I… I don't know what I was thinking—it is just that, well, with everything that has happened and how much I have tried to figure out what to think, I thought that maybe…" she could not bring herself to finish the sentence, instead letting it trail off.
Thankfully, Paya seemed to guess what she was thinking, for, tilting her head to the side, she looked over at her. "You were thinking that people were going to blame you for the fact that the cycle did not, uh, appear in the past?" when Zelda nodded, Paya let her hand fall from her shoulder, the bedsheets rustling slightly as she began to fidget again. "Look," Paya finally said, "I get that this might sound weird to you since you have only just learnt about who you are, but I grew up with those legends. My grandmother, Impa, I mean, every time she would visit, she would tell me these tales about past princesses and heroes who would appear to save the day when everything seemed to be lost." a slight smile grew at the corners of Paya's lips. "She made it all sound so real, making it feel like you could close your eyes and then you would be there. I guess that I know the reason for that now."
As much as she wanted to do more, to repay Paya's kindness by at least being able to pretend to have any energy left after the day before, Zelda could only barely muster up a short shrug.
However, Paya did not seem to notice her lack of energy. That, or maybe she was simply willing to forgive her for it, for she continued untiringly. "Anyway, when she arrived to tell me about this village, about how there might be someone out there who would be able to help everyone, not just us but the entire world, I did not want to believe her at first. I mean, after everything that had happened and with how old she was, I assumed that she was—well, that it was a matter of her mind not being able to handle what had happened." Paya grimaced, and Zelda noticed the worried glance she threw in the direction of the staircase, clearly stopping to make sure that Impa was not about to come up the stairs. Trying her best to suppress a low chuckle that should not have come bubbling up from her stomach, Zelda could almost see how she would stand there as Paya continued. "But she continued to talk about it, continued to tell all the other people she would track down about it, and it did not take long for it to no longer feel like a dream that could never be. Instead, the entire village began to look forwards to the day where you would appear, the day where we might discover that not everything had been lost yet. Do you understand what I am trying to tell you? No one here is going to blame you, not when we have every reason to think that Impa believes in you and in finding a way to use the cycle to restore the world."
Paya looked at her, the hope clear in her eyes.
Perhaps it was really so clear to her, maybe it was what it felt like to someone who had not listened to the voice in her own mind that she could not quite hear, who had not tried their best to console a friend who was convinced that they were going to become enemies in the end, being left with the feeling that they had still not done nearly enough to help either of them. Perhaps it was really so simple for Paya, to see the pattern in the legends, how the arrival of the hero was a sign that they were going to be saved, and then decide that, since the supposed hero had indeed arrived, that meant that they would be able to bring back everything that had been lost. It was the way the legends would have told the story, Zelda knew that, but no matter how she tried to imagine a future that would allow it to be true, to believe that there was any chance of using the destructive forces of the cycle to their advantage, fact was that people were dead. People, both those they personally cared about and those they had never even met, had died, and no amounts of believing in the legends would be enough to change that.
"You make it sound so easy," Zelda said, hearing the defeat in her voice, "you sound like it is just a matter of us sitting down for a moment, and then we will know what to do about this. But don't you see? I have no clue about what any of this means for me. I know that Impa is right about us having been reincarnated over and over again since I can feel that inside. But I have no clue about what exactly that means or how the cycle having manifested as the disease is going to affect the future. I don't know what to do and I doubt that I ever will—I am not the hero you seem to have believed was going to come here and figure out what we will have to do. I am sorry that I am not, and if I could do anything to become that person, I would do so in a heartbeat, but I just… I don't know!"
Zelda regretted her words the moment they had left her mouth.
Before she had got the chance to do as much as simply opening her mouth to try to take some of them back, Paya had already risen from her bed, and though she did not hurry away from her the same way she had done when Zelda had first arrived, Zelda could feel how the barrier between them had appeared once again, Paya unable to hide how her shoulders rose up.
"Paya—" Zelda began, the fact that she had ruined every chance of giving her an apology and have it be accepted already clear to her by the way Paya took another step away from her.
"No. You are right. It isn't fair to ask that much of you." Paya continued to back away from her. "I just wanted you to know that people here see you as their saviours and not as the people responsible for everything that has happened, that's all, so now that that is done, I will leave you to change."
"Wait!"
But it was too late; Paya had already spun around and in just a couple of steps, she had reached the stairs, soon turning around the corner, the sound of steps still echoing in the room for another couple of seconds before even that disappeared.
For a moment, Zelda considered whether or not she should try to run after her to apologise properly. It was what was right, what her father would have told her to do. In the end, it was exactly that, the fact that she could almost hear him tell her not to gain enemies, to always stay civil with everyone, that kept her from being able to move, Zelda instead finding herself staring down at the clothes Paya had brought her.
Though Zelda was sure that almost everything would have looked soft, clean, and comfortable after weeks in muddy trousers and a shirt that felt like it consisted of more holes than actual, intact fabric, there was no doubt in her mind that the clothes would also have been luxurious in the past, the tunic and trousers clearly made to be worn and still allow their wearer to move freely. However, as she took in the size of the clothes, the conclusion to the question of who had been the one to let her borrow them was also obvious. Even though Zelda knew that she had yet to meet everyone in the village, making the fact that they looked like they would fit her a weak piece of evidence to base the conclusion on, as she breathed in, it was clear that, just like the rest of the house, they were another reminder of Paya.
Zelda was not sure how long she stood there, debating whether or not she could accept the kindness after having just made Paya flee from her own room, but in the end, the fact that she could not afford to give Paya any reason to think that she had declined the offer was what made her pull her old shirt over her head to instead put on the clothes.
Breakfast was a silent affair. The best thing Zelda could say about it was that Ganondorf showed up, quelling the worry that he might have changed his mind and left in the darkness of the night. As she watched him sit there, though, looking at how he stared down at his slice of bread with an expression that did not leave any doubts about how he did not want to be disturbed, brows pulled together and his mouth a thin line as he visibly struggled to keep back the tears, it did not feel much like a comfort. She had been starving only the day before, but now, Zelda struggled to make herself eat more than a few bites of bread, her stomach protesting the idea of eating and bile rising in her throat every time she would become aware of the presence towards the back of her mind. Pushing it back down, Zelda tried her best to imagine what other people felt like, what it was like not to have the spirits of past incarnations inside of her. She could not imagine it. Thinking back to her childhood, Zelda could not recall a time where it had not been there, lying right below her own consciousness. It was not quite a voice per se, or at least it did not sound like a voice the same way she would hear it when reading the Gerudo books Urbosa had given her for her birthday, Zelda despairing over the fact that she was able to hear how the words were pronounced in her head but unable to form even a single sentence without Urbosa offering her tips and corrections. Instead, as Zelda tried her best to listen for the voice, only for the sense of unease to turn into the dread of knowing that she would have to face Impa and the truth about what had happened again soon, the fear making Zelda wince every time she would hear even the slightest creak from the door, convinced that it was Impa who had come to find them, the only way she could describe it was as a presence, always there somewhere in her mind, but having been able to let her believe that it was just herself for so long.
"So… are the two of you all right?"
The silence had lasted for so long that by the time the end of it came, Zelda had to pause for a moment before realising that someone had really said something. Looking towards the source of the sound, Zelda supposed that she should not have been surprised to see Link look up from his breakfast, casting glances in both hers and Ganondorf's direction as the only answer he received was several seconds of thunderous silence.
She had to do better. If she could not change the fact that she was at the very least partially involved in the reason for why the world had come to an end, Zelda could make sure not to push away the only two people in the world who might possibly understand her.
Forcing herself to swallow the bite of food, the bread becoming cardboard in her mouth, Zelda made sure to keep her hands below the table to hide how they shook as she looked over at Link. "Somewhat," she said, deciding that only being able to tell a little lie was a better than blurting out every thought that had gone through her head during those last few days, "I mean, considering everything we have just been told, I would suppose that I am doing relatively well." from across the table, Zelda could feel how Ganondorf stared at her, the frown clear on his face, so she made sure to only look at Link as she spoke.
That was a mistake. Looking back and forth between her and Ganondorf, it was clear that Link had noticed that something had happened, the slight moment of hesitation before he spoke letting Zelda know that the only reason he did not address it directly was that he did not want to unwittingly make it worse. "Okay, it's just that neither of you looked all right when you left, so I just wanted to—"
"And can you blame us?" the question was followed by the sound of porcelain against wood, Zelda's mind only registering the source of the sound a moment later. Ganondorf had slammed his hand down onto the table, and though he had not moved to stand up, from the way he was blinking quicker and quicker, Zelda knew that it was only a matter of time before he would leave the room just as he had done the day before. "How—" Ganondorf gestured towards Link, "how can you be this calm? I get that you are the hero, but do you not realise what this means for us, for me? This disease, this cycle, it is all connected to us, so even though we never wanted for it to exist, this disease is, in a way, our fault. Why—I can understand that Zelda is shutting it all out and refusing to share her feelings with us, but how—how can you sit there and be so calm about all of it? How?" just like that, Zelda saw how all energy left Ganondorf, making him slump down once again, giving off the impression that had it not been for the fact that he sat with his right forearm leaning against the table, he might completely have fallen to the ground.
Still, even though Zelda had flinched when he had first reacted by demanding an answer, as she turned to look over at Link, Zelda had to admit that Ganondorf had a point. While not looking anywhere near as relaxed as he had done before, the pull at the muscles around his cheeks drawing the edges of his mouth downwards, erasing any illusion that he was really so calm about everything, Link looked much more at ease than Ganondorf and significantly more at peace than what Zelda felt like as she tried to will herself into letting go of the part of her consciousness that connected her to the past.
Slowly placing his utensils down by his plate, Link looked over at them, the look on his face being one of not quite pity but also not the same as the smile from the man who had agreed to follow them to Lurelin Village, all three of them wordlessly reaching the decision to all use Ganondorf's hope of being able to find his aunts as a lifeboat to keep them afloat. "Listen," Link said, and Zelda could both hear and see how he struggled not to get swept up in the general atmosphere of discourage and despair that clung to the air around them, "I could not find you yesterday—"
"Of course you couldn't," Ganondorf said with what Zelda was sure was supposed to be a sneer but sounded more like a sob, completely devoid of any anger, sadness instead taking its place, "I wasn't exactly in the mood to discuss the fact that I am apparently the reincarnation of the evil king from the legends with anyone after having just been informed of it moments before."
Link held up his hands. Zelda could not tell if the gesture was meant to be placating or as a signal for them to be silent for a moment, nor did it matter as Link continued. "No, you misunderstand me. I am not saying it because I was annoyed that I could not find you anywhere. I am telling you this because Impa was not done telling us about our pasts when the two of you left. I… well, apparently according to her, there is still a way for us to bring an end to all of this, the cycle, the reincarnations, everything."
Zelda could tell how Ganondorf's demeanour shifted in an instant. The tense lines of his shoulders did not leave completely, but it did become a lot softer as he looked over at Link, clearly trying his best to fight down the little glimmer of hope that shone in his eyes as he angled his entire body towards him. "There is? How? What do we have to do to achieve that? Is it something that we have to go out and find or—"
"Whoa." Link shook his head. "She hasn't told me exactly what bringing an end to the cycle would entail, just that it was a possibility she would have to bring up again once the two of you were back." he finished the sentence by stabbing at a piece of bread.
Before Zelda was able to do anything, whether that would have been to ask for him to elaborate or to apologise for having seemingly been part of the reason for why Link still did not know just what they would have to do, the creak from the doors called for her attention. Hearing how the others followed her lead, Zelda turned, leaving bread to be bread on her table to instead look over at the doors as they were thrown open to allow Dorian to step into the house, Impa following along behind him.
He looked horrible. That was the first thing Zelda noticed, a large, purple bruise forming beneath his right eye, covering most of his cheek, only slowly fading as it began to reach down towards his jawbone. Immediately, the question of what had caused it appeared in her mind, her first instinct being to blame it on his fight with the Yiga Clan, an answer that would not be enough to explain why she had not noticed it before that very moment. Though the piece of cloth he had pulled up to his nose might have been able to hide parts of the bruise, it would not have been anywhere near large enough to hide it completely. At least it did not appear that Dorian was in pain, or if he was, he hid it well, continuing into the room, walking up towards the little raised platform behind the table along with Impa, carrying himself with not even a slight limp that could otherwise have spoken of other hidden injuries.
Zelda had only just so opened her mouth to ask him what had happened when Impa took the words right out of her mouth. Sitting down on the dais, it felt almost like the eye that had been painted onto her hat was looking directly at them as she took in the sight of them, the way her gaze passed over her making Zelda acutely aware of just how she must look, eyes still red and puffy after having cried herself to sleep and her hair a mess, but she did not comment on it. Instead, she nodded to herself once before fixing them all with the same steely expression as she spoke. "I see that you have all taken in the full extent of what we discussed yesterday," Impa began, and had it not been for how Zelda would not exactly call it a discussion, she might have laughed in disbelief at how she managed to make it sound like they had discussed something minor and unimportant, the weather or how they would have to move some of the cuccos, and that they had not just utterly brought an end to everything they thought they had known about the world and their place in it, "and so, I think that it is high time that we turn our attention towards what we will have to do to bring an end to the cycle. As you might have noticed, Dorian is here with me."
Dorian waved at them, and Zelda had to admit that if he was feeling even halfway as uncomfortable as they did, he was doing a tremendous job at hiding it. Accidentally meeting his gaze directly, seeing how he sent her a beaming smile, Zelda could not completely silence the echo of Paya's voice in her mind. They had waited for them to come and help save them from everything that had happened, or at least that had been what Paya had told her back when she had attempted to assure her that even if people were to know about how they were directly tied to the disease, they would not resent her. With how Dorian had not even blinked as Impa had spoken about cycles, not once dropping the calm expression to show confusion, Zelda had to believe that he was already aware of that. But for as much as she wanted to believe that Paya might have been right, that he knew and still looked at them to see the group he had decided to risk his life to save, she could not completely dispel the fear that lay as a stone in her stomach.
Unfazed by the fact that Ganondorf and Link had also redirected their attention towards Dorian, Impa continued. "Now, he has just returned from his last mission to Clock Town to find further evidence of just what exactly it is that the Yiga Clan is planning, but he has told me that he will be more than happy to take care of your training, so Ganondorf and Link, if you would—"
"Wait." Ganondorf's cup clattered as he dropped it halfway between having been about to take a sip of it and trying to place it back onto the table, instead letting it fall to the floor. "Training? What are you talking about? Like, with weapons or something like that?" the silence that followed the question answered that question, something Zelda could see that Ganondorf knew as well as he shook his head, the motion making his hair fly around his head. "No. Why would we even do that? I mean, it is not like we can defeat the cycle or the goddesses in a battle and then have that fix all of this, right?" he threw a glance in Link's direction, perhaps hoping to get an actual answer, but receiving little more than a look of equal bewilderment. Zelda was equally unable to think of an answer, so she remained silent, letting Ganondorf continue. "Besides, with us being the incarnations of past enemies, would it not be a bad idea to teach me how to fight? I mean, should the worst thing come to happen and—and make me turn against them, would it not be better if… if I at least did not have the same abilities in battle as Link?" the tremble in his voice was barely noticeable, only there in the last syllable, but Zelda could still tell the exact moment Link heard it from the way he reached out to place his hand on Ganondorf's arm.
He kept it there even as he looked up at Ganondorf, making sure to maintain eye contact as he spoke. "No, it will not be better that way just as it will never happen, and if it does, I know that Zelda will make sure to tell both of us snap out of it." there was a slight pause, Zelda realising a second too late that they were waiting for her to respond.
"Of course," she said, feeling the warmth rise in her cheeks, "I would not allow anything to happen to either of you."
"There you see. Zelda is going to be there to make us see reason if anything like that ever were to happen."
"But you can't be sure that she will be able to do that," Ganondorf argued, "what if she is not there when it happens? Then who will stop us before we can do anything we would have regretted if it had not been for the cycle and the lives we have lead before? Besides, you and I both remember the first time we met, Link. How can you be so sure that Zelda will be able to get through to us if we return to that kind of behaviour?"
The confidence in Link's voice faltered for a moment, but it was back a second later, Link raising his chin to look directly up at Ganondorf. "Well, she managed to do it back then, so if that is the worst-case scenario, at least we know that she will be able to handle it."
Ganondorf did not look convinced by that at all, but he did not get the chance to bring up a counterargument as Impa cut through their discussion with a single cough. "Actually," she said as they all looked back over at her, "you will be training not for the event where you might have to draw your blades to fight one another, but to be able to defend yourself against the Yiga Clan."
"I thought that Kakariko Village was safe from the Yigas." Zelda looked back and forth between Dorian and Impa, the memory of sunlight glinting in metal blades making her throat feel constricted. "You said that we would be safe here."
"It is," Dorian said, drowning out the beginning of a response from Impa, "to the extent of our knowledge, the Yiga Clan does not know of the existence of this village, nor have they every given us any indication that they would be willing to leave Hyrule National Museum to begin to search for our base."
Exchanging glances with Ganondorf and Link, Zelda could tell that they were all thinking the same thing: it had been evident that the Yiga Clan cared about the artefacts within the museum more than they cared about the museum itself, with a particular kind of attention having been given to the Master Sword, the sword that was now within Kakariko Village. Would the rest of the collection they had amassed in the wake of the end of the world really be enough to keep the Yiga Clan from trying to track down the sword, or would they find that they were out there right in this very moment, trying to follow the path they had taken to escape? The purple bruise on Dorian's face kept on drawing her attention towards it, Zelda trying her best to quieten her mind, to push away the question of why they had gone to Clock Town, if they had evidence that the Yiga Clan might have left the museum and was simply deciding not to share it with them.
Clearing her throat, Impa called for their attention. "Yes, as Dorian said, the intent behind the decision to let you receiving training is not to prepare you for any scenario where you will turn against one another, quite the opposite in fact. If we wish to bring an end to the cycle, the three of you will have to be able to face what first created it, and as such, you might experience danger in your quest to go back to the source of it all. For that reason, I have asked Dorian to be your instructor. Link," at the mention of his name, Link sat up a little straighter, still not removing his hand from Ganondorf's arm, "the level of skill with which you wielded the Master Sword back at the museum was an impressive feat, but if you want to be able to wield it without having it drain your body and mind of energy, you will have to be able to use your own strength rather than that of your past incarnations."
Link bowed his head, looking like he was not at all surprised by her words.
Maybe he really wasn't, Zelda mused as she looked over at him. Perhaps it was something he had already discussed with Impa the day before, back when Ganondorf had fled the house and Zelda had followed in his footsteps moments after.
She could not tell if her assessment of the situation was correct, only that Impa did not stop there, instead gesturing towards Ganondorf as she continued. "Ganondorf, I know that you might not want to learn how to use a weapon effectively, but I promise you that you will only bring more danger to your friends by refusing to participate. Do you understand?"
A single glance at Ganondorf's face would have been enough to tell anyone that he did not agree with her at all, meeting Impa's glare with the desire to object to the idea written across his face, but after only a moment of silence, he averted his gaze from hers, mumbling something that, while not being entirely audible to Zelda, seemed to be a satisfying enough answer for Impa to accept it.
Beginning to rise from her seat, Impa clasped her hands together. "Good. In that case, I will entrust Dorian with the responsibility for your training. Listen to him; he is the one among us who has the most experience, both when it comes to self-defence and in trying to teach others—"
Ganondorf and Zelda opened their mouths at the same time.
"But then what about—"
"What about me?"
Impa barely paused to look back at them, the only reaction that Zelda could see being one that spoke of confusion, almost like she could not believe that they would ask her that question. With an expression of someone who had already halfway left the conversation behind, Impa sent her a look that so clearly told her that there had been no need for the question. "You are going to come with me. We have a lot of things to discuss, so not wasting any more time would be ideal."
"But…" seeing how Impa did not stop again, already heading towards the doors, Zelda found herself following her example without even thinking about it, torn between the need to follow her and the sound of urgency she said those words with and the fact that Ganondorf and Link were staring at her, Link looking like he was seconds away from getting up to walk with her and Ganondorf looking towards Impa, the crease between his brows telling them everything they could have needed to know about what he thought of the idea of splitting up like that.
In the end, that was what made Zelda let out a breath, feeling almost like she was going to collapse at any moment, force a mask of confidence onto her face, and walk out of the house to catch up with Impa. Behind her, she could hear the hushed whispers of Ganondorf and Link, feel how they were looking after her as she left, but the wood of the doors soon muffled the sound of their voices to a point where she could not make out the individual words anymore.
Her stomach felt like it was trying its best to make her regret having eaten breakfast, twisting and turning as Zelda all but ran down the stairs to catch up with Impa, the old woman continuing towards the path leading between the two tall hills. She did not move quickly, not by Zelda's standards at least, but there was something to the way she carried herself, not looking back and never slowing down, that gave off the same impression as if she had sprinted, Zelda only catching up with her as she stopped in front of the gravestones she and Ganondorf had looked at only the day before.
Then, as if she only then realised that Zelda was there, Impa turned around. The look on her face was not harsh, not full of contempt and disappointment, but Zelda still found herself taking a step back as Impa slowly nodded before speaking. "How are you doing right now, Zelda?"
It was a ridiculous question, the only thing that kept Zelda from outright laughing being the fact that Impa had asked it with such a serious tone in her voice that she could feel every last laugh shrivel up to die in her throat. They were here, having lost everything; they had thought that they had found a new goal in the dream of getting to Lurelin Village, only to then be told that the feeling of not quite belonging, of always being just a little too invested in the legends, had a reason behind it, that reason being the cycle that had brought the disease into existence, and Impa was asking her how she was doing.
With the feeling of not quite being present, feeling like she was looking down at the scene from above, Zelda found herself shrugging. "I… I guess that I am doing reasonably well… all things considered, I mean." she could not even determine if that was an outright lie. She had not entertained Ganondorf's idea of running away, of trying to outrun their destinies. That had to count for something, only, Zelda was not certain if it was a good sign, or if she should have fought more to resist the idea. After all, what did it say about her that she was so prepared to accept the fact that she might share part of her soul with princesses of the past? For all she knew, the feeling of not belonging could just as well have been the effect of having lost everything. Truly, there were numerous ways of explaining what had happened, why she felt the way she did, that did not involve her having to accept the words of a stranger telling her that she carried with her part of the souls of both a goddess and of the past princesses of the country.
With a look that made Zelda ponder the question of whether or not she could read her thoughts, Impa tilted her head to the side. "But you are upset, are you not?"
The humourless chuckle tore its way out of her mouth before Zelda got the chance to keep it from happening, the words that followed feeling almost like there had been torn a hole in the wall she had constructed to keep her feelings inside, allowing them to fill the world around her. "Of course I am upset! I am—goddesses, I am angry and—and betrayed and everything else!"
Impa simply looked up at her, the only reaction to her outburst being a slightly raised eyebrow. "Betrayed you say? Betrayed by whom?"
"I don't know!" Zelda made an all-encompassing gesture. "Whoever created the cycle in the first place, the Golden Goddesses, Hylia, whoever was responsible for all of that and making it so that I am apparently the incarnation of some past princess who doomed us all by refusing to see her own people suffer at the hands of the creator of the cycle. I mean, I am not even royalty, so why does it have to be me who got that part of her soul? Why could it not have been anyone else? Do you know how many people I had in my class who adored the legends and the princesses in them? Why could it not have been any of them? Why could they not have been the ones to survive the end of the world only to then be told that they were responsible for the decisions in some past life that led to the deaths of everyone today?" she heard how her breathing hitched, Zelda having to fight to force back the tears that turned the world around her into a blur of colours and questions she could not think of any answer to.
Against the echo of her own raised voice, Impa's calm, almost monotonous tone of voice could hardly have created a starker contrast as she spoke. "I see. In that case, dear, I should have made myself even clearer when I told you that you are not to blame for what has happened. None of you are."
"That was not what you made it sound like yesterday," Zelda countered, "you told us that I had part of her soul inside of me, that I was the same as the princess who was willing to doom us to save her own kingdom."
Impa only frowned slightly, refusing to raise her voice. Zelda wanted to hate her for that, for the fact that she could not at least bother to pretend to be as affected by everything that had happened as she was, her heart racing and her blood drowning out any sounds as the rush of it made her pulse feel like a drum in her ears, but she could not bring herself to muster up the feelings. For all Impa sat there, guarding her knowledge, each time Zelda tried to glare at her, tried to look at her and let her see just how she felt about the fact that it could hardly have been more obvious that she knew more than she was telling her, the image of her would flicker slightly, creating almost the effect of looking through paper by holding it up against a source of light, Zelda seeing the image of first an old woman who was in so many ways like Impa and in so many ways entirely different from her come towards her, helping her up from the ground, only for the figure to morph into that of a tall woman who looked down at her with a smile and an outstretched hand as she promised that everything would make sense if she would only trust her. It did not make sense, Zelda knew that, but it was enough to keep her from opening her mouth to tell Impa to either tell her everything she knew without keeping anything from her or to leave her alone.
There was no way of telling how long the silence between them lasted for. All Zelda could really be sure of was the fact that her heart was slowly beginning to beat a slightly more normal rhythm against her ribcage when Impa motioned for her to come closer.
The movement was small, but still more than enough for Zelda to know that Impa meant for her to see it, her voice soon bringing an end to the silence around them once more. "Come, Zelda. There is something I want you to see."
She should have asked her just what she was talking about, just what she wanted her to see that was not already visible from where they stood, but Zelda could not bring herself to ask any of her questions, instead following along without uttering a word as Impa slowly began to make her way towards where the hill began to shelve down to the fields and rivers below. They stopped there, just before reaching the point where Zelda would have begun to sprint down the incline when she had been younger, laughing at the top of her lungs as she ran while her father would yell at her to be careful not to tear her clothing.
"What do you see here?"
The question was one with an easy answer. Zelda saw how the grass rose up far higher than she had ever seen it do before, the nature having been left without anyone to try to take care of it. In the distance, she could see how a tree had seemingly not had a strong enough root net to keep it upright, leaving it to instead lie on the ground, the roots reaching up into the air, Hyrule Castle Town visible in the distance, lying there as an expanse of skyscrapers and buildings that only barely were able to reach up above the top of the trees that made up the forest in front of it, Hyrule Castle left to sit on top of the cliff, looking almost like it looked out over the land below. However, as Zelda stood there, she knew that it was not what Impa wanted to hear, but for as much as she tried to figure out the correct answer. She could not guess what she wanted for her to say, much less what she herself wanted to see.
"I don't know," Zelda said, barely keeping herself from shrugging in response to the long look she received in return, "I guess that I am seeing Hyrule."
"Exactly." Impa said it like that was honestly the answer she had wanted to hear. "You are seeing Hyrule. It is not the same Hyrule as the one the Zeldas of the past saw, but it is the Hyrule you know and love nonetheless."
Her tone of voice was more than enough for Zelda to know that, to Impa that should be more than enough to let her know just what she was trying to tell her, but as much as she tried to see what the point of it all was, Zelda found herself without an answer, leaving her with no other choice than to try her best to find even a tiny bit of enthusiasm to put into her response. "I guess." already by the time the words had left her mouth Zelda could hear how she had failed to achieve even that. She had not been able to figure out what Impa was trying to tell her, and now, she could not even find the energy to put on a convincing enough show.
Perhaps Impa could sense the defeat that loomed right in front of them if she were to try to follow that path further out, for Zelda could almost see how she made the decision to change the subject as she looked over at her for a moment, only to then turn her attention towards the expanse of green in front of them once again. "I fear that you might have got the wrong impression of what I meant when I told you that you are share part of your soul with the princesses of the legends, Zelda. It never meant that you are the exact same person as they were, or that you have their entire soul inside of you, just as it does not in any way make you responsible for their choices in the past."
"But then what does it mean?" Zelda could hear the whine in her voice, could see the pity in Impa's eyes, but even then, she could not find the energy to care enough to hide it, not when she might finally be close to getting an explanation for what was happening. "If I am not the same person, and I don't share any part of myself with them, then why do you keep on telling me that I—and Link and Ganondorf as well—are incarnations of those people?"
"Zelda, you are upset and I understand that. But you are drawing the wrong conclusions and missing the ones you know to be true." it was only the promise of soon receiving a full explanation that kept Zelda from retorting with a question of just how she was supposed to react to the idea that her father might have been right to always compare her to her ancestors as Impa shook her head at her. "You share a part of Hylia's soul with your ancestors. It is that power that has been passed down to you, that power and nothing else. You are not the same person as the Zeldas who came before you, and just as they acted independently of one another, you too have to make your own decisions. You may hear them, but that does not mean that you are the same as those who have come before you."
Part of her wanted to remain cold, wanted to show Impa that she refused to so easily give in to the comforting idea of that being true, but an even larger part of her could only feel relief at the realisation that, if that was true, then it would free her of the guilt of having been the one to make the decision that had led to the world she currently inhabited being one of death and decay. Perhaps that, the fact that Zelda could already feel a sigh of relief make its way out of her mouth was why she refused to give in to the temptation of believing her, instead shaking her head. "But I—I can feel them." she looked over at Impa, halfway waiting for the moment where Impa would see her mistake and tell her that she was right, that Zelda truly carried the blame for what had happened. "I can feel their presence in my mind. How would I be able to do that if not for the fact that we are the same person deep down?"
But Impa refused to give her even that bittersweet satisfaction, looking at her with an expression of someone who at once felt for the person they were talking to but also had to try their best not to outright tell them that they were wrong. "The presences you feel are the voices of the spirit realm, my dear. I can assure you that you are not in any way responsible for what has happened in the past."
"I—" Zelda could almost feel the attempt at denying the idea fall from her lips, feel how she was about to once again claim the guilt for what had happened, only for her to lose the words to do so. Looking at Impa, Zelda could try to convince herself that the only reason she gave up on that was that it was so clearly hopeless to try to make Impa see how she was responsible for what had happened, but deep down, Zelda knew that she could not deny the relief that filled the part of her mind that had been busy trying to force herself to recall a memory of her past life, trying to force any kind of reason for why everything had shifted, the world losing its meaning, to appear, as she accepted defeat. "So what about Ganondorf and Link, then? Can I tell them the same thing, that they are not directly connected to their past selves, that the connection is an inherited one and not one inherent to them?"
The answer was clear from the way Impa hesitated for a second too long before responding. "They… it is different for all of you. Much like you will have to find a way to navigate all of this on you own, they too will have to figure out how they will choose to regard all of this, whether to see it as a blessing or a curse."
She could still remember how Ganondorf had broken down completely, how he had sobbed in her embrace. It had been horrible, both to witness, being unable to think of anything to say that would have made him feel even slightly better, and to feel resonate inside of her. For Zelda, there was little doubt about which of the two options was the truth for her.
"It is a curse," Zelda said, making sure that her voice did not tremble in the slightest, not leaving even the tiniest sliver of uncertainty behind, "I have never asked for any of that, not for my father to be obsessed with how we descended from royalty, not to grow up and learn that it meant that I could never just be myself, that I would always have to measure up to some standard set by people who have been dead and gone for centuries, and certainly not to learn that I am connected to them by more than just distant familial relations."
"But that also gives you the strength to change what has happened." Zelda must have left an opening in her resolve not to falter in her conviction, for she could see how Impa spotted a chance as she continued. "Think about it, Zelda. You are still here. You, Link, and Ganondorf, you all have a chance of putting an end to the cycle."
"But how?" Zelda crossed her arms in front of her, trying her best to ignore how a gust of wind sent chills down her spine. "You talk about how we have a chance of putting an end to this, but how are we going to do it?"
"That is a question with an answer you will have to discover for yourself," Impa said, and Zelda could have sworn that she was doing it on purpose, trying her best to be as vague as possible, revealing just enough to keep Zelda from outright leaving, but not telling her enough for her to know what was going on.
"All right, then." taking a deep breath, Zelda tried to force herself to calm down. "But what does that mean? You said that it is important that we know how to defend ourselves from the Yiga Clan, but then why did you bring me out here instead of letting me train with Dorian?"
"Your strengths lie elsewhere."
Giving up on any attempt at keeping her temper from getting the better of her, Zelda threw up her arms in defeat. "And where exactly is that? You know what, you have told me absolutely nothing so far that I have actually been able to use for anything. Instead, you keep on telling half-truths and refusing to answer my question, and I am sick and tired of it. Answer me now, or I am going to leave for good. What do you mean when you say that my strengths lie elsewhere?"
She clenched her jaw, trying her best to let every last part of her expression signal that she meant it, that if Impa were to continue her little game of secrets, then she would not hesitate to tell Ganondorf that she had changed her mind and was ready to leave Kakariko Village behind. Link would come with them, Zelda was sure of that. If she and Ganondorf were to leave, he would not hesitate before coming with them. In her mind, she could already see it happen, see how they would bid Impa and the rest of the village goodbye to set out on their own once again. Maybe they would head towards Lurelin Village, deciding that Labrynna was the best option they had, even if they knew better than to expect to find anyone alive. Or maybe they would instead spend the rest of their lives roaming around Hyrule, continuing to use the supermarkets as a source of food until even that would spoil and force them out into the forests. After that point, Zelda was not nearly optimistic enough to believe that they would be able to survive for very long. And that was if she was able to believe that they would not be tracked down by the Yiga Clan long before starvation could get the chance to become a bigger issue than it already was.
Had Zelda been a better person, the guilt that rose in her chest as she imagined what Paya might say when she heard that they had left—Paya and her ability to insist that the village still believed in them and their ability to bring back a sense of meaning to the world—would have been enough to make her apologise and tell Impa that she did not mean it, that it had been her temper speaking and not her, but Zelda had already learnt that she was not that person a long time ago. And so, she continued to meet Impa's stare directly, unblinking and unrelenting as Impa slowly let out a low sigh, the sound slowly morphing into a smile, much to Zelda's surprise.
"You know what," Impa finally said, "I may not be able to recall the exact memory of the meeting, but I am sure that I have met someone like you before, someone who was also prone to anger when she felt powerless. Very well then, to answer your question, have you ever felt like you did things that should not have been possible, like you were sometimes able to stop a disaster from unfolding?"
The answer came promptly, before Zelda had even got the chance to let the guilt of the idea that she might have been able to stop any of what had happened overwhelm her. "No," she said, shaking her head, "no, I have never experienced that."
Impa did not appear to be surprised, mirroring her tone of voice. "No, I thought that that might be the case, that you would not have been able to awaken your powers yet." before Zelda got the chance to do more than open her mouth to ask her what she meant, Impa gestured for her to sit down next to her on the ground. Zelda obeyed, feeling how the dew that still clung to the grass cooled her hands even more as she placed them down on the ground to help balance herself as she looked over to take in how Impa took her time to make herself comfortable before continuing. "Zelda, to make a long story short, I am sure that you have noticed that the princesses of the legends often possessed magical abilities, the power to reach out to find help in the spirit world, if you will."
It was such a simple sentence, and still, it took another moment for Zelda to realise just what Impa was trying to tell her, her hand flying up to cover her mouth as if moved by an outside force as she realised that she was not making it up, that she was indeed not drawing the wrong conclusions. "You mean that…?"
Impa nodded. "Yes. There are no reasons to believe that you do not possess the same abilities as those who came before you. If the magic came from the part of Hylia's soul that was passed down from your ancestors to you, it would be foolish not to try to pursue it."
"How?" the feelings of despair and uselessness left her in a second, Zelda barely able to keep herself from jumping to her feet. A second ago, it had been obvious that she had been the weak one in their group, the one who was neither brave, strong, or particularly clever, but now, if she was able to use her powers, she would be able to protect the others, to repay them for all the times they had been willing to risk their own lives to protect her. It was an invigorating thought, the adrenaline flowing through her veins as Zelda tried to put a little of the fidgetiness into the rhythm she tapped against the ground below. "How will I be able to use those abilities? Do I have the power to defeat the Yiga Clan? Can I protect the others and bring an end to anything that threatens—"
As drunk as she was on the idea of finally being able to be the one to stand between their little group and danger, Zelda did not miss the way Impa's gaze turned dark, the warmth that had made its way into her eyes cooling in seconds, and though it should have been irrelevant to her, the opinion of someone who was little more than a stranger, Zelda still fell silent nonetheless.
The silence lasted for ages, Impa still looking at her like she was not quite sure what to say or how to do it, the worry and pity in her eyes soon accompanied by something Zelda preferred not to look at, not to recognise, as Impa spoke. "Zelda, I… I had feared that that was how you would react, and as such, I have to tell you right now that that, the anger and the rage you feel when thinking about the world and those who have wronged your friends and yourself, is never going to allow you to win, just as it is certainly not going to let you gain access to your powers."
It felt like a needle in a balloon, all of the joy she had found in the thought that she would finally be able to do more than merely try her best to deflect the blows of the Yiga Clan while Ganondorf had to fight with everything he had to keep himself and Link alive abating from one moment to the next as Zelda felt her shoulders lower again but not bothering to find the energy to correct her posture. "Why?" she whispered the word, knowing that Impa would have heard it even if she had only thought it. "Why can't I use my powers? Why—why is it a bad thing that I want to use it to be able to stand against those who have tried to kill me and my friends? How is that a bad thing to use them for?"
The answer was right there in front of her, Impa looking at her with such a long look that Zelda could name the exact moment where she averted her gaze, making the decision not to tell her.
She should have continued to beg and cry for an explanation, do anything she could think of that could possibly have made Impa tell her what went through her mind as she looked out towards Hyrule, but right then, Zelda could barely find the energy to keep herself from crying. Nothing about Impa's behaviour and her refusal to fully answer her questions was justified, nothing at all. Here she was, having done everything she could to keep them alive for so long, time and time again finding that she lacked the strength to do as much as the others had done, and now, just as she was told that her ancestors had possessed what she wanted the most, the strength to defend and protect those around them, it was taken away from her, kept just out of her reach with a reminder that if she was just a bit better, a bit smarter, a bit more like her ancestors, then she would have been able to reach out to find it. But she could not even bring herself to do that; she was only able to listen to Impa as she told her that they would return to the topic the next day, her voice having a strangely soft edge to it, with the feeling that it was not real, that everything, all those weeks, had been nothing but a nightmare, one that lay above everything like a layer of mist to keep her from fully taking in anything she heard, growing inside her chest.
Really, as Zelda stood there, all she wanted was to go home, to lock herself in her room with her books and bury herself in tasks she knew she was capable of completing. Reading through her physics textbooks yielded results, both with how it gave her a reason to head to the library to find more books and in the way she could feel herself gain a better understanding of the subjects she would read about. That made sense. Physics, chemistry, biology, technology—Zelda knew how to handle that, could balance numbers in her head and remember the formulas that allowed her to predict what would happen. She could write down her assumptions to see how well they described reality without constantly stopping to doubt herself. This, however, Impa's vague help and explanations that always stopped before they would have allowed Zelda to make sense of anything, she had no idea how to deal with. Instead, she was left with nothing but the feeling of failure every time she would find herself without an answer.
The decision was sudden, but as much as Zelda could hear Impa try to tell her something, she did not care, having already crossed the distance between the little hill and the rest of the village by the time she was able to recognise it as Impa telling her that she was strong and would be able to get through it.
She would have preferred it if Impa had just told her that she was being childish.
Zelda spent the rest of the day simply walking around the village, trying her best to get a sense of knowing her surroundings. It was a far too easy task, considering the relatively small size of the village, and by noon, Zelda was sure that she would have been able to navigate the village with her eyes closed. Still, she did not return to Impa's house for lunch, not even as she noticed some of the children around her whispering amongst themselves, their attempts at hiding the fact that they were talking about her amounting to little more than giggling and looking the other way when she would catch them looking at her. But no one came over to talk to her, and so, Zelda let it be. It was not the first time children had acted that way around her, and now she at least had Paya's assurance that they had all connected her arrival with that of someone who would be able to help them to take her mind off the possibility that they might have heard about her failures.
The decision to skip lunch soon turned out to have its drawbacks, Zelda's stomach rumbling so loudly as the sun finally began to sink down below the hills that she was halfway convinced that everyone could hear it as she gave up and began to walk back towards Impa's house, dragging her feet the entire way. The last few metres up the stairs were the worst, leaving Zelda to stand in front of the double doors for a couple of minutes before she was able to bring herself to open them, an apology and an explanation for where she had been already waiting on her tongue, only to be stolen away by the sight that met her.
Seated around the little table in the middle of the room were Ganondorf, Link, Impa, and Paya. However, that was not what made Zelda have to swallow the question of whether or not she was in the right house before it would have broken through the atmosphere.
They were laughing. Ganondorf and Link were laughing, Link seemingly in the middle of a story, using his hands to wave as he described some kind of feint that Dorian had taught them, Ganondorf looking at him with a sparkling sense of glee in his eyes.
With her stomach feeling like it had been replaced with a rock, Zelda let her gaze drift from the two of them to instead land on Impa. She sat there, with her side turned towards the door, looking completely absorbed by the story, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.
None of them had even noticed that she was there. The seconds continued to pass by, but Zelda could only stand there, looking at them while the feeling of having just been kicked in the stomach grew heavier and heavier with each passing second. They had not noticed that she had arrived, which meant that they had also not been particularly worried about whether or not she would show up at all.
She was halfway about to turn around to leave without a word, the question of just where she would sleep or what she would do to try to handle the hunger pangs only a distant noise in her brain when compared to Ganondorf's snicker as Link recounted how he had been able to trick him into lowering his guard only for Ganondorf to bring him out of balance with a quick series of jabs with the wooden sword they had been given to train with, when Zelda noticed Paya turn away from the story.
"Zelda?" Paya had already jumped to her feet, taking a step towards her, when the three others looked up, first at Paya and then, following her line of sight, over at Zelda, Ganondorf's eye lighting up even more, as impossible as Zelda would have believed it to be a moment earlier, and Link placing what looked like a meat skewer down on his plate to instead point towards her.
"We were just wondering where you were! Do you want to come over and listen to how I was able to trick good old Ganondorf here into believing that I was really about to fall for a simple distraction only to then show him that I can actually move pretty quickly when I need to?"
Zelda did not get the chance to respond before Ganondorf had placed his cup back down onto the table, shaking his head at Link. "Yeah, of course I didn't expect for that to happen, given that that was not what Dorian had told us to do."
"I am hearing a lot of excuses from you, old man."
Ganondorf pressed a hand to his chest in mock hurt. "Hey, I am only two years older than you! That's hardly enough to make me old."
"No," Link said, the mischievous smile not doing much to convince anyone that he would agree with the sentiment, "but your reactions certainly are! Seriously, falling over like that? I hardly put any effort into the attack—Dorian agreed with me as well."
Distantly, Zelda could hear Ganondorf defend himself, his voice not carrying any kind of resentment as he said something about how he had only reacted that way because he had been surprised, but she could not bring herself to do more than to look at them without properly seeing them, listening to their voices without properly hearing them. Instead, as Zelda watched, the room around her almost seemed to shift, colours bleeding together and voices growing alternatively deeper and higher, until, finally, she was no longer looking at her two closest friends as they sat inside the home of someone who was still very much a stranger to all of them. Instead, Zelda saw stone walls and banners hanging from the ceiling, the window she was watching the scene through obstructing her view slightly as she made sure to leave plenty of space for the person next to her to look as well, the two of them leaning in to take in way the red hair of the man walking towards what looked like a throne reflected the lights above him. It happened at once, a strong feeling of déjà vu washing in over her as the room tilted around her. From somewhere far away, Zelda heard her someone say her name and felt how someone, perhaps the same person, reached out, one arm wrapping around her and the other holding onto her upper arm as they kept her from falling to the floor.
"—you all right?"
Zelda blinked and pressed a hand against her temple, trying her best to tear herself away from the window, the stones, the banners, every last thing that had appeared in her mind, to instead return to her true surroundings. Little by little, almost like a headache that slowly had to admit defeat when faced with analgesics, the fog began to lift, leaving Zelda to take in the fact that everyone was looking at her.
Link still sat in his seat, the way he leant in over the table making it clear that he had been caught halfway between having been about to reach out for his meat skewer and telling a story, something that at least allowed Zelda to try to trick herself into thinking that his wide eyes and puzzled expression could have been due to that. Continuing over to Paya, Zelda saw shock and worry, Paya looking back and forth between her and Impa.
Impa. Zelda had never thought that she would be relieved to take in her expression after having just lost her composure in front of everyone, but as she looked towards her to see that she was at least not looking at her with the same kind of worry as the rest of them, looking almost strangely pleased, Zelda had to admit that she had been wrong to assume that.
Going over the names in her head, Zelda knew that she was still not truly present in the moment yet as it took her another couple of seconds to realise that the reason she could not see Ganondorf when she looked at the seat next to Link's was that he had moved from his spot to help steady her. Out of the corner of her eye, Zelda could just barely see how he looked down at her, a worried expression on his face. A moment later, Ganondorf let go of her, Zelda having to fight not to let it show how little she trusted her body to be able to support her, putting on a smile that felt like it would split her face in half as Ganondorf took a step forwards, standing just so that she could not avoid looking at him without outright having to turn her face away from him.
"Hey," Ganondorf said, and more than anything else, Zelda wanted to tell him that there was no reason for him to speak with so much compassion in his voice, not when they both knew that she had messed up, wanted to tell him to just leave her alone with the crushing weight of knowing that she had wasted an entire day, not getting answer nor learning anything about the powers Impa claimed she possessed, but she could not bring herself to say anything, leaving Ganondorf to continue, "Zelda, are you okay? What happened there—you looked like you were about to pass out."
She was saved at the last moment before the silence that followed the question would have become unbearably awkward by what was possibly the last person Zelda would have expected to come to her aid.
Going through with the paused motion of rising from her seat, Paya made eye contact with her before walking over to where both Zelda and Ganondorf were still standing by the door.
"I think that it might have been the result of low blood sugar." Paya offered up the explanation, and as much as Zelda knew that there would not be a single person who would honestly believe it with how Paya's voice shook while delivering the lie, she could have cried with relief. However, given the situation, Zelda found the last bit of energy she had left and made sure to use it to do nothing more than to make a faint sound of general agreement as Paya continued. "I mean, I guess it would make sense since you didn't get to eat lunch—I am sorry about that, by the way. I tried to find you, but I could not figure out where you had gone." before Zelda could have mumbled an apology, Paya had already reached out towards her, taking her hand in hers as she looked over her shoulder, the change in her tone of voice marking the next sentence as being meant for Impa more than anyone else. "I will get her upstairs. She can eat dinner up there. Is that all right with you, grandmother?"
It felt like she was going to shrink beneath Impa's gaze, becoming smaller and smaller until she would disappear completely. Zelda had to keep herself from leaning against Paya's shoulder, her entire body already angled towards her as Impa finally nodded. "Yes, do that, dear. I think that it would be for the better if Zelda was able to get a full night of sleep now. In fact, I think it would be best for all of us to head to bed soon. Link, Ganondorf, Dorian has made sure to ask Purah for some of her ointment. I haven't tried it myself, but from what I have heard from her, it serves as a nice pain reliever."
"You don't have to stay and listen," Paya whispered into Zelda's ear, tightening her hold on her just a bit more as Zelda finally lost her battle with gravity, leaning against her even more, "come on, let's get you upstairs."
Somehow, they were able to make it up the stairs. It felt like nothing less than a miracle, Zelda still struggling to look down and see her own feet and the wooden steps rather than the grey of stones from before, a fact that forced her to instead lean against Paya as she continued to tell her to lift her foot, move forwards, lift her foot, and move forwards over and over again. Time around her felt almost non-existent, Zelda at once overcome by the need to lie down, close her eyes, and then be able to not have to face the world around her for several hours and the wish that Paya would not have a reason to let go of her just yet.
Perhaps it was due to the fact that she could count the number of hugs she had been given during those past few weeks—and really, those past few months as well—on one hand, but as Zelda fought to stay present, she found that focusing on the way Paya had wrapped her right arm around her, her hand holding onto her right upper arm, keeping Zelda close to her as they moved up the last couple of steps together, helped more than any attempt at trying to force herself to name every object around them did.
Of course, as much as Zelda might have wished that the very idea of time would have ceased to exist to keep the moment from arriving, they soon reached the end of the stairs, and although Zelda wanted to remember the way Paya did not let go at once, the two of them instead standing in the room for another moment, Zelda leaning against her side, what her mind ended up fixating on, the memory Zelda could already feel being stored away in her mind, was the way Paya looked over at her, her eyes widening ever so slightly, giving off the impression that she only then noticed how close they were standing to one another, and how she took a step backwards, away from Zelda, the next moment, her cheeks already tinged red as she mumbled something about going to get her something to eat, not looking up at her for even a moment, instead talking to the floor more than to Zelda, before she turned away from her and all but ran back down the stairs.
How it could make her feel even worse than she already did was beyond Zelda. There she was, having already wasted an entire day, being none the wiser about just what she would have to do to bring an end to the cycle, having returned back to Impa's house to learn that she was the only one who felt that way, and still, the fact that Paya did not want to talk with her, instead making it clear that she was trying her best not to spend more time with her than what was absolutely necessary, was able to leave her with the feeling of how the last bit of hope she had been able to find for the day left her in an instant.
Everything hurt, but Zelda could not muster up the energy to begin to ponder the reasons for it, nor could she convince herself to stay awake until Paya would return, hopefully bringing along an opportunity for Zelda to apologise for her behaviour along with the dinner. It was the cowardly way of handling everything that had just happened, no one would have to tell Zelda that, but she could still not bring herself to care as she flopped down onto the bed, only pausing for a moment to pull off her boots before she could have dirtied the sheets even more than she already did by going to sleep in the clothes she had been wearing all day before she closed her eyes and let the wondrous feeling of weightlessness overwhelm her.