Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or the characters.

It was a couple weeks before Harry's birthday when Death appeared in his room at Privet Drive looking very guilty of something. Harry's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "How are you?" He asked in a sing-song tone when Death didn't immediately come sit with him or start speaking.

"I'm fine, and you?" Death shuffled his feet a bit before sitting awkwardly on the bed beside Harry.

"Alright, out with it," Harry's patience was running thin, and he was also a bit amused at his lover's antics. "What did you do?"

"Well…I might have (indistinct mumbling)."

"Uh huh, yeah, I completely understood what you just said," Harry's words dripping with sarcasm.

"I may have sent one of my Mares to visit someone…" Death began but paused when he saw confusion on Harry's face. "Also, called Night-Mares, they cause bad dreams."

"There's a being that causes bad dreams?" Harry asked incredulously.

"Among other things," Death nodded. "They don't cause all bad dreams, but that is one thing they can do."

"And you sent one of these Mares to someone…Might I ask who?" Harry raised an eyebrow, realizing it was probably someone on Death's 'List.'

"Umbridge," Death said with pride instead of regret.

"Uh huh, and why are you coming to me about this now?" Harry wasn't too sure what he felt about Death causing nightmares for someone, but also couldn't bring himself to feel sorry for the evil witch.

Death's lips tweaked up just a little when Harry didn't seem angry at him. "When my Mare reported in last, he mentioned Umbridge had recently acquired a most interesting locket."

Harry sat up straighter at that and grabbed Death's hand. "Really, is it the locket? Where did she get it?"

"It wasn't like my Mare could have a nice conversation with her over tea," Death rolled his eyes, but instead just pulled a golden locket out of his pocket. "I sent an Imp to steal it once the Mare told me about it. It's definitely the one we've been looking for."

Harry quickly pulled the basilisk fang from the loose floorboards under his bed. He wasn't about to chance his family doing anything with it if they decided to go on an anti-magic rampage again. "Well, what're we waiting for?"

Death held a hand up. "You can't just stab it here in your relatives' house. The stupid wards would have the Order down on us in seconds."

"Oh right, can you shift me somewhere remote?"

Death got a positively devilish gleam in his eye. "I can do you one better than that," he said reaching for Harry.

"I'm definitely not going to like this," Harry groaned as he was engulfed in a dark cloud.

Harry looked around the comfortable but shabby sitting room he stood in as the cloud around him and Death dissipated. "Where…?" he asked before he heard a crash and running steps. He had a wand pulled and trained on his least favorite professor before he even registered the wand pointed back at him. Death just chuckled and sunk elegantly into one of the armchairs in the room, looking between the two men in a stand-off.

"Potter, Osiris, what are you doing here?" Snape asked without taking his eyes off of either or lowering his wand. "Come to kill me to avenge the old man?"

"Oh please," Harry rolled his eyes. "I know you worked out Dumbledore's death with him ahead of time. It's the only logical reason for you vowing to help Malfoy and covering up the headmaster's condition all year."

At this, Snape visibly started and paled. "As for why I'm here…Why are we here?" Harry turned to ask Death.

"You needed a place where a flare of dark magic wouldn't raise any questions and he already knows about a lot of what's going on. It might be advantageous for the future to get some help from him. We still need to find the non-snake horcrux," Death looked to the potion master with a gleam in his eye. "It might also be to his advantage to move down or even off my 'List.'"

"I think I liked you better when you refused to meddle," Harry pouted, but with a sly smile.

Death just waved a hand dismissively. "It got old."

"What in the name of Morgana, Mordred, and Merlin is going on here?!" Snape exclaimed, exasperatedly. "And, how did you apparate past my wards?"

Harry pulled out the basilisk fang and held a hand out as Death placed the locket in it. Harry ignored the second question. "We're going to destroy a horcrux. You in, Professor?"

Snape slowly lowered the wand he still had trained on Harry. "That's a horcrux?" He stared at the locket in Harry's hand.

"Yep," Harry said with a pop of his lips. "Might want to stand back Professor; it tends to get a little messy when it realizes what's happening."

Snape took a couple cautious steps back, but Death leaned forward and stared at him. "I'll only be gone a few minutes once Harry stabs the soul-piece. I expect him to be unharmed and in the same condition I left him in when I return," he warned Snape.

Before Snape could respond, Harry had already placed the locket on the low, coffee table and hissed for it to open. A dark, screaming whirlwind emerged that pushed Snape into the wall. Snape glanced over seeing the DADA professor unconcernedly picking at his fingernails while Harry Bloody Potter growled as he stabbed the locket multiple times with a bloody long snake fang.

Snape blinked. Everything was calm in his sitting room once again. Harry was repairing the holes in Snape's coffee table and Osiris was nowhere to be seen. "Where did he go?" Snape asked, looking around the room.

"Remember," Harry said with a raise of his eyebrow. "He said he'd be gone for a few minutes after I destroyed the horcrux."

"But…where did he go?" Snape looked around.

Harry just shrugged. "The underworld, the afterlife, the next realm, whatever you want to call it. He's getting rid of the soul bit, but he'll be back in a minute unless he gets caught up by my mum or Sirius or something."

"Your…mum…?" Snape collapsed into the armchair behind him as Harry curled up on his couch like it was no big deal he was hanging out in his least favorite professor's sitting room. At this point, he just kind-of rolled with all the crazy that happened to him, so a late-night trip to his potions professor's house was nothing.

"Yeah, she's a little irritated with you by the way," Harry said with mock sternness. "Something about holding a grudge and unwarranted detentions."

Snape looked at Harry like he was about to have either a heart attack or a stroke, whatever was most final to his life and nerves.

A dark cloud formed in the room and Death reappeared. "Any trouble, Love?" Harry asked as Death sat beside him on the couch and put an arm around his shoulders.

"No," Death said while obviously looking over Harry to make sure he was exactly the same as he left him. "Dumbledore tried to stop me. He's still trying to get away from Lily, but he'll find no sympathy from me. He'll be dealing with my wrath once Lily's done with him anyway."

"Who are you?" Snape asked, almost apoplectic at this point.

Death rolled his eyes and looked at Harry. "I swear, Dear, I didn't even try with the name. It almost literally translates to Death the Lord of Death and I keep getting people asking me who I am. Present company excepted, are all wizards really this dense?"

Harry snickered at Death calling Snape dense when the potions master called his students that and worse all the time. "You know no one believes that Death is an actual being; you've made sure of that over the years. You shouldn't fault them for being confused. It really isn't fair."

"You're…Death?" Snape's eyes widened more than Harry had ever seen in the man, all masks of indifference gone.

"I'd say pleased to meet you, but I still have a few bones to pick with you about how you've treated my Harry," Death said dryly. "We need to get down to business though. How many horcruxes do we have left, Love?"

Snape sputtered at Death calling Harry 'Love' even though they had been using endearments since they appeared in the sitting room. "Well, we've destroyed the diary, the crown, Dumbledore got the ring, and we took care of the locket. We just have Nagini and possibly something of Hufflepuff's besides the main soul-piece left. So, two and then the main one."

Snape looked at the two of them amazed. "There's something you should probably know…" Snape started.

"Oh yeah, and the piece in me has already been taken care of," Harry waved him off, knowing what he was about to say.

"But how?" Snape leaned forward, his normally impassive face showing shock and interest. "You have to kill the vessel to destroy the piece of soul."

"Yeah well, I'm not the Boy-Who-Lived," Harry laughed to Snape's utter confusion. "I'm the Boy-Who-Just-Keeps-Dying."

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Snape hissed.

"I've lost track, Dis," Harry said lightly to Death, clearly making light of the matter, not actually having lost track. "How many times have I died so far?"

Death huffed irritated. "Five times and counting. We took care of that parasitic bit of soul the first time though," Death informed Snape.

"Five?!" Snape almost yelled as he ran his hands through his hair. "Your mother's going to kill me! I promised to keep you safe!"

"Yeah, as I said before, she's not super happy with you right now, or so I hear," Harry agreed.

"She's a little angrier with Dumbledore," Death agreed as he played with the hair at the nape of Harry's neck. "But, you are definitely not in her good graces."

"How?" Snape asked, eyes wide.

"How did I die, or how am I still here?" Harry chuckled at Snape's dumbfounded look.

"Both?"

"As for why I'm still here, apparently, I'm Death's soulmate or something, so he just ignores all the rules where I'm concerned, right?" Harry looked to Death. Death just planted a kiss to Harry's temple in agreement, causing Snape to pale more if that was even possible.

"As for how he died," Death cut in with a sneer. "The abomination was successful in killing him as a baby, then his relatives killed him twice, he died protecting that stupid stone in his first year, and the dementors couldn't take his soul since it's mine two summers ago, so they just killed him then as well."

"And, that's why no one's seen a dementor since," Harry finished. "Don't get on Death's bad side, especially if you're one of his creatures."

Snape gaped. "Your relatives killed you TWICE?!"

"Those do seem to be the ones most people land on," Death grumbled. "They were the most preventable in my opinion. If someone had just checked on the baby they left on a doorstep, problem solved!"

"I did tell everyone they hated me, but they'd already killed me by then," Harry shrugged nonchalantly. "It really is very unpleasant to die by starvation, worse than being beaten to death. I really don't recommend it. Well, either really, but starvation was the worst."

And, that was the last straw. Snape collapsed in his chair unconscious.

Harry and Death didn't stay much longer at Snape's home. After, bringing him back around, they waved off his questions and apologies to sternly tell him that it was his job now to find out what of Hufflepuff's the abomination/Dark Lord/Voldy might have made into a horcrux. Snape told them he'd been assigned as the new headmaster of Hogwarts on the Dark Lord's orders, so he was to look around the castle and discreetly sound out what the other Death Eaters (minions, Death corrected vehemently) knew about any Hufflepuff artifacts.

Death promptly returned Harry back to his room after that where they snuggled down into Harry's uncomfortable bed. "When are you leaving this place for good?" Death asked with a sneer at the room. "I'm looking forward to your relatives being unprotected and having no one to miss them."

"You're not allowed to kill people," Harry reminded Death as he snuggled closer and pulled Death's arms around him.

"Torture doesn't have to lead to death," he growled in response.

"Please be good. You haven't had to heal me in a couple summers now. They've been a little better."

Death snorted. "The bar was so low from horrific abuse to just severe abuse isn't better as you say only less horrible."

"Whatever," Harry shrugged, too tired to bring himself to care at the moment, though he knew he'd revisit this subject again later. "I'm leaving next week, well before my birthday when the wards fall."

"So, if you're staying with Ron, we can't do our tradition and be together at midnight on your birthday," Death mock pouted.

"No, but you can come by the Burrow for my birthday the next evening. And, maybe be my date for Bill and Fleur's wedding as well?" Harry asked, hopefully.

Death hummed for a minute. "I can't do the wedding," he started. "No one wants Death at their wedding. It'd be rude for me to attend."

"Not if you were my guest…"

"Yes, even then," Death sighed. It amazed Death to no end how Harry just couldn't understand other people's reactions to his aura. "I could maybe do the birthday party though."

"As long as you come as my date," Harry grinned up at him, knowing he was pushing his luck.

"Do you really think that wise?"

"No, but I haven't dated a single person in the whole time they've known me, and I'd appreciate it if Hermione and Ginny would stop trying to set me up with people. I understand Cho and even Seamus, but Draco?" Harry shivered. "They must be getting desperate."

Death growled quietly, thinking, and honestly a little jealous. "It would be nice for others you know you're spoken for…"

"And, you're no longer my professor, so…will you?"

"Of course, you Imp." Death tangled his leg between Harry's and settled down to get comfortable for the night. Work could wait.

"I feel that's probably an insult to Imps," Harry chuckled, causing Death to snort in laughter.

Death was concerned as he made his way up the lane to the Weasley's house on Harry's birthday. He had recently taken Mad Eye Moody on to the other realm, and he wasn't sure how Harry was handling it. He got the impression they weren't very close, but he had died protecting Harry, so he must be taking it hard. His frown deepened as he passed the Minister of Magic walking back down the lane who seemed irritated as he disapparated at the gate.

Death breathed a sigh of relief when Harry came out the front door and ran to meet him, halfway from the gate to the house. After almost being bowled over by the slightly smaller man, Death pulled him tightly into a hug. "How are you, Love?"

"I'm ok; is he doing well?"

Knowing exactly what he meant, Death nodded. "Yes, he's settling in nicely. Seems to be resting for the first time in a long while. No need for CONSTANT VIGILANCE when you're already dead."

"That's good," Harry said, finally pulling away.

"How's your birthday so far? And, was that the Minister?" Death asked shoving his thumb towards the gate where the Minister had disapparated.

"Yeah, he came to read Dumbledore's will. Dumbledore tried to leave me Gryffindor's sword, but the Minister said it belonged to the school. He also left Ron his Deluminator and Hermione that children's book you showed me last year. He's probably trying to get us to look into the hallows since he was obsessed. No telling about the Deluminator though. Any ideas why he'd leave me the sword?"

Death thought for a minute. "You stabbed the basilisk with it, so it'd have the venom imbued in the blade. It could probably destroy a horcrux."

"I have a fang though."

"Yeah, but Dumbledore didn't know that," Death said with no clues about the Deluminator either.

"Oh," Harry laughed remembering. "Ron gave me Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches! I'm so looking forward to seeing his face when you walk through the door in a bit!"

Death chuckled as well. "Well…shall we?"

Harry took Death's hand in his own and finished the walk up to the door, pushing it open with a smile. Hermione was currently the only one in the sitting room when they entered. "Professor Osiris!" Hermione exclaimed looking between Harry and Death and taking in their clasped hands.

Death just smiled at her. "I'm just Dis now. No DADA professor lasts longer than a year, so I figured I wouldn't even try since you lot aren't coming back."

"You told him?!" Hermione hissed.

"Yes, Hermione," Harry said, sliding his arm around Death's waist. "I figured my…what are you? Boyfriend? Partner? Anyway, I figured he should know I won't be hanging around Hogwarts next year. I didn't tell him where we'd be though." Not that they had really decided where they were going anyway just that they needed to hide out for a bit until they found the last non-living horcrux and figured out how to get to Nagini.

"Erm, how about significant other?" Death suggested for a title.

Harry wrinkled his nose. "That's too long. I'm going with boyfriend, so deal."

Death laughed and planted a kiss in Harry's hair. "In answer to your unasked question, Ms. Granger, I'll not be joining you on your little jaunt, but Harry does know how to get in touch with me if you ever find yourselves in a sticky situation."

Hermione frowned for a minute and then smiled. "You're a bit creepy, sir, but at least you make Harry happy. He was happier this past year than he has been since I've known him. Ron and I figured it had something to do with you when Harry kept disappearing in the evenings last year and you weren't anywhere to be found either."

Harry looked a little irritated for a minute, but Death just chuckled and tasseled his hair. "I told you everyone thinks I'm creepy, and you never believe me."

Harry pulled Death and Hermione out to the backyard to join the Weasleys, Hagrid, Lupin, Tonks, and the Delacours. Everyone looked up at the new arrival in confusion, except for Remus who had a knowing look on his face. "Everyone, meet my boyfriend, Dis Osiris, Dis, this is everyone," Harry called, hanging onto Death's hand.

"Professor Osiris?" Hagrid rumbled questioningly.

"Professor?" Mrs. Weasley looked to Hagrid with a slightly disapproving look on her face.

"Yes, yes," Harry waved away their concerns and pulled Death to the table where he sat him by the very uncomfortable looking Delacours. "He was the DADA professor, but I knew him before then and nothing happened while he was a professor. Clear?"

"Thank you for allowing me to celebrate Harry's birthday, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley," Death smiled at them as he passed a small, wrapped parcel to Harry. "I'll explain it later," Death whispered to him.

Though still looking disapprovingly at the former professor, Mrs. Weasley levitated over a large snitch cake and began passing out pieces to everyone. The tension at the table started dissipating after a while. Death even seemed to get along well with the Delacours once they learned he spoke perfect French.

About halfway through the dinner, Ron leaned over to Harry. "Hey, mate, I still have the receipt to that book if you want to return it," Ron looked at him a little regretfully.

Harry looked back with mock indignation. "Don't you dare, Ron Weasley," Harry scoffed. "I plan on getting a lot of enjoyment out of trying all of those fail-safe ways to charm witches out on Dis." Ron laughed and shot his former professor a sympathetic look to Death's confusion, but Ron just went back to eating cake with a new self-satisfied smirk on his face.

Harry held off unwrapping his present until he was saying goodbye to Death at the gate. He unwrapped what looked to be a tiny, and very ancient whistle. "Thaaanks?" Harry said with a raise of his eyebrow, trying to figure out what exactly it was.

"It's a dog whistle," Death chuckled at his confusion. "I'm, in a way, giving you a dog."

Harry looked around, expecting a puppy to appear around him. "Did he get lost?"

"No Phobos will never get lost," Death pulled Harry into his arms. "I'm assigning you one of my grims. He'll stay in the underworld until you need him, but if you ever want to get a quick message to me but don't want to or aren't in a place you can call me, call for Phobos and he'll deliver any message. He's also good company if you never need it."

"But does he play fetch?" Harry asked very seriously but with a small smirk on his lips.

"Considering he's Fluffy's best friend, yes, he actually does," Death chuckled and kissed Harry, exploring his mouth, not wanting to ever pull away. When Harry finally needed air, Death looked him in the eyes lovingly. "Call for me when you are able, and send messages by Phobos when you aren't, ok?"

"I will, and I love you," Harry said, giving Death one last kiss.

"I love you too, my Harry," and, with that, Death disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

Up Next: Snape's mission.