XIV. BONNIE AND HENNESSEY
And as he is who dreams of his own harm,
Who dreaming wishes it may be a dream,
So that he craves what is, as if it were not.
Bonnie Byrd. 17.
District Nine Female.
There were a lot of things that Bonnie Byrd wanted to be, but seventeen and pregnant was certainly not one of them, so naturally the District Nine girl was more nervous than she even had the right to be when her period was a week late and she was beginning to feel sick in the morning. But it wasn't like she could tell anybody, especially her mother, because Wisteria Byrd wasn't the sort to be particularly understanding of her youngest child and only daughter accidentally letting herself get knocked up after a wild night at Kelsang's Pub.
And then of course the worst part of all of this would be that I truly have not a fucking clue who the supposed father of this child would be.
But would Bonnie ever be able to know that? Well, of course not because that's what happens when she sleeps with four different boys within the span of a week, which wasn't even everybody she had slept with that week, but obviously girls could not get her pregnant, but maybe the world would be a bit better if they could. Regardless of Bonnie's fantasies of reproducing with another woman, the point was this: if she was indeed pregnant, there would be no way for her to know which pathetic but beautiful man had been keeping his condom in his wallet for a bit too long to the point of expiration.
And for the record, if there was anybody who impregnated her, it was probably Danny Macalester, the nerd that I only fucked because I was drunk, since that man definitely had not had a crumb of action before Bonnie. She always found it special when she was somebody's first time, even if it would likely be Danny's last.
But I guess I am being a little bitch by not getting over this and answering my own stupid question.
She got over herself and ripped open the plastic wrapping for the pregnancy test which she had purchased for three dollars at some sketchy back alley drug store and pulled down her pants, situating herself over the toilet in her bathroom. Bonnie held the device underneath herself, her hands trembling as she let flow the golden shower that would decide the vacancy of her uterus. In the moments which would determine her fate, the District Nine girl was more than just a bit nervous.
I mean, I'm young and I'm in my prime. It's too early for me to stop now. I don't know what I'll do with a living breathing child, hell, I don't know what to do with myself half the time.
It was a dilema, a nightmare, yet it thankfully ended just as quickly as it began when Bonnie opened her eyes and looked down at the test to see that whoever was watching over her in the sky was doing their job damn well and had decided that she was indeed not pregnant.
So Bonnie went on with her life for the next few days, not thinking about the momentary crisis she had just experienced, and trying her best to return to a state of normalcy. There was a tinge of shame in Danny's eyes when she saw him in the hallway at school, but it was nothing that the District Nine girl wasn't used to. It was fine. Bonnie Byrd was going to be just fine and likely back to her sultry ways in just a few weeks time.
Or at least she thought that.
It was the first Friday night since Bonnie had taken and failed the pregnancy test, so naturally she was in the mood to get up to no good once again (but perhaps with a girl instead so she wouldn't have to once again worry about being pregnant), yet her mother had different plans for her.
"Bonnie Bella Byrd," She was stopped in her tracks as she tried to leave the house in her favorite crop-top and heels, "Where the hell do you think you're going, young lady?"
"Just Kelsang's, as usual," Bonnie tried to sound innocent, typical of her whenever she was approached by her mother. At the time, the District Nine girl had no idea why her mother was being so hostile towards her. She'd thrown out the pregnancy test, right?
And she had never seen her mother so angry. Her face was nearly as red as the hair on her daughter's head, which was pretty damn red in fact, "No Bonnie. You are not going to Kelsang's."
Her mother's voice had more of a twang than usual when she was angry, which was when it clicked. Bonnie knew what her mother had found.
"Because?" The District Nine girl knew that Wisteria would be hesitant to say what she had found out loud since she was the traditional sort of girl that wouldn't dare say anything about anatomy, even in her own home.
Her mother crouched down to get on her level, digging through the pockets of her worn jeans to find what Bonnie thought that she would never see again, the pregnancy test, "Well I found this in your bathroom. Do you have anything to say about it?"
"I've never seen anything like that before in my life. What is it?" In a last ditch attempt to place the blame off herself, she pretended to be clueless, though she knew deep down instead that there was no way in hell she would be getting out of this one, "Mom?" Wisteria refused to answer for a bit as the anger mounted on her face and Bonnie continued to plead, "Seriously, why are you holding like a stick or something in front of me."
Of course her bullshitting didn't do a damn thing.
"Do I look like an idiot?" The blonde woman fumed, "Who have you been sleeping with now, you little whore?"
Whore…
It was a word that had always had a profound affect on Bonnie, the kids always calling her that at school when they found out who she hooked up with on any given week, but she simply didn't see an issue with it. She was well aware of the fact that she was definitely a bit reckless but up until then she hadn't had a single issue with it. Maybe if her mother had taken a calmer approach with this confrontation, things would have been easier and the District Nine girl would actually be willing to change her ways but she was beyond that now.
I fucking hate that word…
She decided to answer her mother's question seriously in hopes that it would break some of the tension of the situation, "Dillon, Scotch, Miguel," she counted the names on her fingers, "Danny," she prepared her second hand, "And then Tracy, Penny, and Eleanor, but they can't get me pregnant, obviously."
Wisteria was displeased, but granted that was a very realistic reaction for her to have in that situation and Bonnie didn't really know what she was hoping for, "You're not going anywhere."
So Bonnie lost it that night, the aggression that had fueled her for years, the pressure she felt from her mother to be the perfect angel girl, the girl she was everything but. The pressure to be like her brother's wives and girlfriends despite the fact she was so far from them. She was sick of the strain that it had put on her, so in that moment, the District Nine girl finally lashed out, "I'm not going to stand for this anymore Mom. You are an embarrassment."
"Bonnie?" She gasped, "What did you just call me, you little slut?"
"I said that you're an embarrassment and you're ruining my life. Just let me be, and I wasn't even pregnant."
The two continued to go at it, every curse word in the dictionary being used by both of them, words Bonnie never thought she would hear from the mouth of her mother, words that she never used first, wincing in the pain from her verbal abuse. It hurt more than she cared to admit. It was nearly five minutes of consistent screaming until Bonnie's father broke the silence, "What are you ladies yelling about?"
Before Bonnie could say anything, Wisteria cut in, "Your whore of a daughter almost got pregnant."
"First of all, don't call her that," Angus Byrd was stern, aware that his wife's words hurt his daughter, "Second, she didn't get pregnant but it also isn't your issue since like you told me yesterday, the pregnancy test was wrapped in toilet paper which means she clearly didn't want you to see it."
"Then why did she put it in the bathroom," Wisteria was relentless despite her husband's valiant efforts to calm her down.
"Where else was she supposed to put it," He made a good point, "She's healthy and she's happy. That's the best that we can ask for Wisty."
Bonnie could see in her mother's eyes that she wanted to give up, but much like her daughter, she was too damn stubborn to admit to any wrongdoing, "Do you see who she's saying she slept with? Our daughter's a certified freak!"
"And so were you when you were her age," Angus sighed, wrapping his arms around his wife, "I just know you're scared because–"
"I had Clifton young," Bonnie's mother quickly finished the sentence, "I don't want her to deal with the same things as me."
"That's valid," He wiped away one of her tears with his sleeve, "But just know that Bonnie probably doesn't want to be like that either."
"I don't…" The District Nine girl stuttered, trying her best to understand.
"See," Angus stepped away from his wife and hugged Bonnie's shoulders, "Just be more careful next time, not that I don't doubt you were."
"Understood." Bonnie smiled, trying to ignore the look in her mothers eyes as if she had seen a ghost, "I'm sorry mom."
She always apologized to her mother even if she was the one that should be apologizing, but maybe Bonnie was just a creature of habit like that. She didn't want her mother to hate her, and she didn't think she hated her either, she just felt like her presence in Wisteria's life was something of a curse.
"You can go out if you want," She tried to utter.
But Bonnie didn't want to go out anymore. She'd had more than enough for the evening.
Hennessy Barlett. 18.
District Nine Male.
TW: Alcoholism and Self-harm.
Fucking idiots.
Hennessy was sick and tired of working his shift at Kelsang's and watching all the teenagers play tonsil hockey and fall in love to the music of the shitty band while they were all drunk off their asses, not giving a single fuck about anything in the world. They were so happy, nearly to the point where the District Nine boy couldn't help but think they were close to stupidity, as if anybody got the privilege to be happy around these parts. It could be interpreted as his stupid teenage melodrama, and while that was a viable explanation especially considering that at least part of Hennessy's angst was accredited to a breakup, there as so much that came with it. He used to be so fucking happy before the breakup, but now that it was all over, all Hennessy felt was a sense of yearning and pain for the life that he didn't cherish nearly enough.
The situation was only made worse when he had to see August Witbier and his stupid smile at work, no matter how hard he tried to arrange his shifts so that they didn't overlap with his. But there really was no avoiding August, as much as Hennessy hated to admit it, as his father owned Kelsang's and that meant that the boy he used to love's presence was a given whenever he came in to work.
He didn't want to hate August yet he did anyways, even though he latched onto the good memories that the two of them had for as long as possible, the late night games of charade's under the stars with Voitsekh and Alvina, sipping on the leftover beer from the pub and not caring if August's dad found out. It was just so… such mindless bliss that Hennessy hated himself for not enjoying.
Because it was over now. His friendly banter with August turned into full blown fighting, words that none of them truly meant being thrown like eggs at one another. It was ugly at best, disturbing at worst, but slowly August's ingenious compassion turned into nothing but bitter rage. Even if Hennessy didn't respond, August would continue to scream at the boy like he was a rag doll, saying that the boy had "issues." And that's when August slipped away like a moment in time.
He was never mine, Hennessy tried to adapt an attitude of not caring, pretending that August was dead to him as he lost himself in moonshine and stale bread since it was all that he had now, and the bastard had the audacity to break up with me himself. Maybe it would be better if I broke up with him because I was not the problem here.
(Yet Hennessy was still not fully convinced that he wasn't the problem, as August took his molehills of insecurities and turned them into the tallest of mountains. He was a master like that, tearing him open more viciously than he even had in bed with his words. And it left Hennessy to hate himself. It left him to feel the most raw and unabashed anger and self-loathing that he had ever experienced.)
The memories were unavoidable, August leaving him to be a metaphorical pile of skin on the ground. Discarded and unimportant. A mess that was terribly hard to clean up, almost not even worth it. How was Hennessy Barlett possibly worth it?
Even if the District Nine boy would never say it, the copious drinking was ruining him, but the more he did it, the more he forgot about who he was, and that was the exact thing that Hennessy was going for. He's a lightweight after all, and being numb was ideal for him and it was an easily achievable state. Maybe if people were actually concerned for him he would have stopped, but Voitsekh and Alvina left with August, believing his side of the story, and that meant that the only person Hennessy truly had was himself, though I should be used to being thrown out by now.
The more he saw August at work the more he knew what he had to do, his ex-lover greeting him with a "greetings asshole," whenever he stepped in. Hennessy knew he was an asshole though, August called him one when they were together, yet hearing it in this context was worse, yet ultimately not as bad as what Hennessy saw one terrible Saturday evening,
He knew that the breakup would mean that August would see other people eventually, but he didn't think it would come so soon. As per usual, he was slacking off from his shift but instead of just fussing with drinks, Hennessy found August to be intertwined with somebody else, a girl, Bonnie Byrd. He didn't really know much about Bonnie other that the fact that she had slept with the vast majority of young adults in District Nine, and he didn't have a strong opinion of her either until he saw August kissing her harder than he had ever kissed him. And it hurt more than Hennessy could even comprehend, more then he would be able to describe, since the furthest thing that I'm capable of doing is being with anybody else.
It begged a question for Hennessy, whether or not August cheated on him during their time together, but it wasn't a question that he necessarily wanted the answer too, hence why he never bothered asking it. The only thing that Hennessy did bother doing in regards to the relationship was strolling into his boss' office and announcing that he wouldn't be working at Kelsang's anymore.
(Which hurt like hell because Kelsang's was all that Hennessy knew and all that Hennessy expected to know for the rest of his pathetic life yet Kelsang's meant August and there wasn't august, at least not for him anymore.)
Kelsang Witbier wasn't exactly shocked when Hennessy announced he was done with working there, since he was well aware of his relationship with August and it's bitter end, even if he never actually commented on it (because in truth, his opinion on the matter truly didn't have any real meaning).
He wished the District Nine boy the best though, and that was just about all Hennessy thought he deserved from the father of his ex-boyfriend. And then with a quick flick of his wrist to grab one of the beer bottles on the desk, Hennessy was done with Kelsang's Pub, never to see it again.
His parents didn't notice when he came home early, or that he even came home at all. But they never did, so he was used to it. Their marriage had been fraying ever since it began, but he had gotten used to ignoring it, as that was often for the best. Besides, Hennessy couldn't place his finger on why they were so absent from him, other than that they just were. Perhaps it was due to his brother Saison's death all those years ago, but more than likely, Hennessy would never know what was going on in their heads.
In all honesty, Hennessy never knew what was going on in anybody's heads besides his own, and as much as his brain was his biggest asset, it was nightmare just as much. And it made everything hurt as he drunk down the bottle of beer that he had stolen, trying to let the numbness consume his soul so he wouldn't have to think about August or Saison (the greatly repressed) or anybody or anything, yet it wasn't enough.
Am I ever enough?
Hennessy was disappointed in his ability to feel that day, the entire bottle still not hindering his ability to feel, so he had to take matters further, deeply sighing as August, the good times and the bad times flickered in his mind.
He'd gotten used to hiding his razor blades in his room, not that it mattered since it wasn't like his parents cared enough to actually worry about him and his well being, but through hiding them, Hennessy could pretend that he was aware of his self-destructive tendencies.
Broken piece of shit, you deserve this, the District Nine boy rolled up the sleeves of his red flannel shirt as he repeated August's words to himself, taking note at the scabs from a few nights prior and how they were beginning to heal somewhat nicely. But that didn't matter since all Hennessy Barlett was and all Hennessy Barlett would ever be was a mess, one that shouldn't ever be cleaned up.
The sting of the razor blade cutting through the flesh of his wrists no longer bothered the District Nine boy, as he'd gotten used to it ever since August showed him how he cut himself, Hennessy pressing deeper than his ex ever did, as he was the one who deserved the pain after all.
And he was used to the way his own blood looked after years of mutilating himself again and again, even if he felt bad about it. It was just Hennessy's life now, even if it was miserable and self-destructive and above all else, hell. His shirt didn't even stain from the crimson since it matched it's color so perfectly.
Hennessy wished he cares about himself to cry over his own self-pity, but that never was, and never would be the case so instead he just sort of sat there, staring at his twisted reflection in the mirror and he cut deeper and deeper until his opposite hand hurt from applying pressure, and then he rolled back down his sleeve and attempted to continue with his life that he had no idea how to live.
But at least the District Nine boy wasn't dead, which was somehow worth a lot. Through all the pain and hurt, he had managed to survive it, and he no longer knew why exactly he had since it wasn't like he had anything to live for.
So he stared at his reflection some more as the blood dried.
At least he always recognized himself, and while he didn't think he would go another week without forcing himself to bleed, perhaps he would someday soon be able to find a reason he didn't take the blade to his throat.
Bonnie Byrd. 17.
District Nine Female.
As if her mother couldn't be more disappointed in her, Bonnie reacted to her name being pulled during the Reaping with a resounding "oh fuck," before she carried herself to the stage with pride, trying her best to laugh off the fact of her newly sealed fate. Bonnie didn't want to die, but then again why would anybody want to die, so she figured that smiling on stage was her best way to get people to see her as worthy of helping to get freed from the Capitol.
"That wasn't very ladylike of you," Of all the things Wisteria could have said to her daughter as she sent her to death, that was what she chose to say, "You better not say that word to the people in the Capitol if you even want a chance at coming home."
Bonnie didn't have anything to say to that so she chose to focus her time on her father and brother instead, which was surprisingly helpful or at least contributed to the fact that she felt relatively at peace with herself before she went away.
Sawyer was cracking jokes about how she shouldn't go and get herself knocked up in the Capitol, but since her mother wasn't the one making those jokes, Bonnie thought they were funny, and Clifton and Jedd were joking around just as much, though Angus was on the verge of tears thinking about how he had to say goodbye to his "little princess."
Bonnie hated seeing him cry, so that sight was rather upsetting to him yet he carried on anyways and did so with a smile, saying that he wanted his last memories with Bonnie to be good ones.
And maybe it was her stupid optimism, but Bonnie didn't think those moments would be their last.
Hennessy Barlett. 18.
District Nine Male.
Hennessy had always said that he would accept everything that was thrown his way, especially after the breakup when he was still struggling to find reason to care for anything, but perhaps being Reaped for the 51st Hunger Games was his exception. To put it lightly, Hennessy was infuriated at the idea that he would be sent to die, especially when he very clearly said to himself that if he was ever going to die, it would be because of an accidental overdose or something stupid that he had control of and sort of saw coming.
This wasn't something I saw coming.
He knew damn well that Panem was a place where people were supposed to "expect the unexpected," but he didn't see how his life could possibly get worse than it already was, yet other plans had apparently been made for him, without my permission nonetheless.
But maybe it was a good thing that Hennessy was chosen and not some other kid who actually enjoyed being alive, or at least that was what he kept telling himself. It was clear that nobody would notice he was gone, hell his parent's didn't even come to say goodbye to him in the Justice Building. The District Nine boy was just as alone as he always was in the moments before he was shipped off to die, and he couldn't help but think that he deserved it more than anybody.
A necklace from August was in his hands, a reminder of his faults and his problems, a memoir to his self-loathing, when Hennessy decided. His life had been nothing but a mess thus far, and he decided he wouldn't let the Games leave an even bigger stain.
Hey guys! I hope you all enjoyed reading the District Nine Introductions! Thank you so much to BradiLain for Bonnie (and the phrase "as she let flow the golden shower that would decide the vacancy of her uterus" which was to funny for me to not not use) and to Firedawn'd for Hennessy! I hope that everybody is staying safe still, and if you have finals coming soon, I wish you the best on them!
-Lindsay