We're nearing the end of our journey and I thought it was high time we push this slow burn forward. Thank you as always to my dear friend and beta Rand0mSmil3z who takes time out of her busy schedule writing TWO fics simultaneously to edit mine! And boy, does she have some great suggestions. Enjoy, my friends!
Aerith
Everything was overwhelming.
As the consequences of Aerith's punishment engulfed her entire being, she could no longer discern her whereabouts. There was no more looming presence of her guardian turned captor. All she was aware of was the thrashing, weeping souls that begged her for one last chance to say goodbye to those they loved. She could taste the dust and soot that clung to each soul as they passed. She could see the emptiness of the sky above a slum that hadn't seen it in decades, a slum that was very much burning. She could hear the muffled screams of others still trapped or searching for loved ones. She could smell a strange metallic scent in the air that reminded her of mako, but it was mingled with the stench of fresh blood – a scent that she had never come across before, yet could somehow place. She could almost reach out and touch the tears of each soul that left its physical body and returned to the planet.
For what felt like hours, the barrage of marching, demanding souls clawed at her and pleaded with her, as if she could offer more than just her presence as the last Cetra. Inevitably, each was ripped away and gently placed among the rest in the ever-flowing current of the lifestream, she felt the slightest bit more alive again. Each stranger was another face she didn't recognize, another face whose familiarity she didn't need to part with, too.
And then, after an agonizing long time, they stopped coming. Aerith gasped as if just coming up from air, then quickly wiped away fresh tears from her swollen eyes. While she was certain her guardian's goal in enacting his punishment was to rip away those she had grown fond of, she guessed he had no idea the true torture that had awaited upon snuffing out so much life so close to her. She felt raw and fragile, like a livewire left out in the rain or a glass bowl in the middle of the Midgar expressway. Her skin, when she glanced at it, looked almost translucent. What? For a moment she inspected her hands, her gaze narrowed in confusion, until it hit her:
I'm in the lifestream.
She glanced up with new eyes. Everywhere she looked, crystal-clear water with no bottom in sight mirrored a perfect blue sky. No sun hung above her head, and yet light seemed to radiate all around her. The temperature here was pleasant, and for once she wasn't feeling chilled. The air smelled sweet, like the distant memory of a trip she took with her guardian to Costa del Sol.
Aerith slowly inhaled, feeling as she could breathe easy for the first time in… well, she didn't know how long.
Yet now that the souls had left her, Aerith had the crushing feeling of being truly and utterly alone. It didn't help that at least twice she thought she spotted movement in her peripheral vision and when she tried to turn and look, a strange fog would fill the air for a few moments before dispersing again. If she didn't know better, she would think perhaps it was some kind of spirit haunting her from just out of reach.
"Hello?" she called out into the empty space. She expected her voice to echo in the vast quiet around her, but instead it came out rather muted and soft, like she was speaking into a pillow. Nobody answered her, but then she caught more movement and whipped her head in that direction – only for it to be gone. For the slightest moment, she thought she'd caught the sight of black hair.
That was a coincidence, it had to be. Aerith hugged her arms around herself for comfort. How long had she been here? How long had it taken for her to face each soul as they passed, to search desperately for her friends who had never showed? She had fought tooth and nail to greet each of the endless trail of lives that had descended into the planet like one giant wave, all in the desperate effort to not miss a single face.
And Aerith had never felt anything like this, either. There were strange points in her life that she could point to greeting a soul as they passed, and it was usually a fleeting, gentle pressure on her mind before they were gone again. She'd never been bombarded like this, been as overpowered as this, been overwhelmed like this. It had sapped her energy.
There it is again! Suddenly alert, she whipped her head to follow the strange movement and sure enough, the unmistakable black hair sent a thrill through her heart. "…Zack?" she voiced anxiously. "Is that you?"
She waited a long moment, and then another, but nothing stirred in reply. Aerith steadied her breathing and reminded herself that she was in the lifestream, there were bound to be millions of souls who could be reaching out – not to mention that black hair wasn't exactly uncommon. Instead of worrying about it, she bowed her head, clasped her hands together, and prayed.
The planet felt so close here. She could feel the very breath of Gaia, as its power thrummed through her as if she was but a small ship lost on its wild seas , and yet she was not afraid. She stood in the eye of its storm and simply breathed, eyes closed and skin tingling, as its currents hummed around her. It sang a gentle, familiar melody, one that brought her back to her early childhood in the lab with her mother. The tune had been a comfort then, but the memories that occurred afterwards soured the feeling.
She took a steadying breath and asked, "Why am I here?"
From behind her closed eyelids, Aerith just barely made out the shift in light around her. A strange warmth that could only be the planet flooded into her mind in a soothing motion, as if it were trying to calm her. As she stood there, listening, it began to explain in feelings rather than words what it wanted to say.
The emotions shared with her were foreign, and it felt like she was running her fingers against ancient parchment. Each came with a mental image. The first thing she felt was a writhing bone-deep fear, which was then followed by warmth. Accompanying this budding emotion was a sharp, mournful pang that reminded her of herself when she was younger until she realized that it was her. She lifted a hand to her lips, wide-eyed as she watched her younger self bow over in sorrow, crying in the arms of a stranger as others hauled her mother's body away. The warmth from the stranger felt like safety; it felt like home. The warmth brought a tingling into her fingers and toes.
The second wave of emotions contained a flicker of surprise followed quickly by bubbling excitement. The image was very familiar to her. It was of her church back in the sector five slums, the one that she was allowed to visit every year. She saw herself in a long pink dress and red jacket kneeling over an unconscious figure. When the person began to move, it was only then that she caught the telltale blond spikes of the ex-SOLDIER she knew very well. He looked alarmed, and she pointed to the ceiling and absolutely beamed at him. Her heart sang as the emotions of the scene brought to the foreground the feelings she had been questioning before now when it came to Cloud. This feeling now was nothing short of love.
That feeling was interrupted by a third burst of emotion and color, and she wasn't prepared at all for the wrongness that accompanied it. Purple stained the entire image in molted shades of violet and lilac, and a face – pallid, gaunt, and chillingly smiling – flashed before her eyes. With it the words Jenova, Calamity rang in earnest in her head. As she watched the image, she saw Cloud again, buster sword in hand as he stared at the creature, not angry or ready to battle, but rather entranced. His lips formed a word she couldn't quite read…
As the wrongness of that emotion washed away, she was offered small glimpses into a life she had never known: Tears pricked her eyes as she watched herself travel across the continent in a buggy, take a ship over to the other side of the sea, and hike across deserts and over mountains. Cloud and Tifa had joined her, along with others she didn't recognize as well; good people she knew without question, people with histories that were doing everything in their power to make… something right. The overarching emotion here was easy, and yet not something she necessarily understood:
Family.
The images flickered and faded for a few moments as other emotions pelted her, beginning with hope and determination before moving to understanding and joy, and then ending at acceptance and fear. She needed to accept something…but what?
One final image cascaded through her head and was enveloped in that warmth of the planet trying to comfort her, reminding her painfully of when Zack had been that warmth and comfort in her life. She was on a platform in a place she didn't recognize, praying much as she was right now. In front of her walked Cloud as if he was sleepwalking, his face a blank slate. She saw herself smile and close her eyes once more…and then a flash gleamed from above. The image cut off as she felt rather than saw something pierce through her and rip her insides apart, her final view of an unknown white materia falling from somewhere behind her and into the endless pool of water below.
Aerith's eyes flew wide as a scream ripped out her throat, her hands splaying across her chest as she searched for the wound she had just felt stab through her.
There was nothing there, no sign of her own fatality marred against the flesh beneath her breast. Whatever she had seen, it wasn't real…at least not now.
I'm still in the lifestream, she realized.
I'm alive.
As she tried to quell the hyperventilation in her breath and the tears that seemed determined to fall, the planet's presence against her mind flitted about in a panic as it seemed to ask her what it could do to help. How could it help, when it had just showed Aerith her own death? Her legs were trembling and she sank to her knees in the pool of water below her, hand still pressed firmly against her chest as if the hole would rip itself open and swallow her. The planet was frantic as it continued to try and soothe her mind. Aerith thought for a few more moments as she caught her breath, but then her mind flicked back to a memory that soothed her immediately.
"The church," she whispered. It was the one place she could feel warm and safe and close to her mother and the rest of the Cetra. If she closed her eyes, she could see the crepuscular rays of sunlight gleaming through dusty stained glass and spilling soft, golden light against all it brushed against. She deeply inhaled; she could taste the acidic sting of mako against her tongue, could smell the gentle blush of blooming flowers, and could almost hear the faint creaking of the floorboards beneath her feet.
As if wanting nothing more than to please her, the planet made her the church.
Aerith watched the sanctuary she had seen in her mind's eye materialize around her in exact detail, down to every broken pew and each ripped-up floorboard. The endless water underneath her feet turned into wooden planks, and she stretched her hand out as a perfect yellow flower sailed past on its way to its destination. Within moments, the entire room was as if she were truly standing in the sector five slums now, down to the upper plate of Midgar and the unfinished sector six peeking its way through the holes in the roof.
Sighing and shuddering, Aerith sank to her knees, her fingers trailing delicately through the petals spread out before her as she struggled to process the emotions the planet had shared with her. The silence around her was usually a comfort, but being in the church now provided little in the way of solace after what she had seen. What was the planet trying to say? Was that to be her future? Was she meant to travel the world with a rag-tag group including Cloud Strife, only to lead to her own death? What was the materia and why was she carrying it? More importantly, why was the lifestream wanting her to know about it?
As she knelt, her fingers continuing to brush against each flower she could reach, she thought about her current friends. Her first thoughts went to Kunsel. The past few months his friendship had been nothing short of a lifeline; he had been helpful, understanding, kind, protective, and a confidant. Part of Aerith felt bad about dragging him into the mess in Wall Market, if only because of his tendency to worry – for good reason, of course. Surely he would have gotten Tifa and Cloud to safety upon realizing what was in store for sector seven. Maybe he'd even stashed them someplace safe and had already made it back to the Shinra building. Kunsel is okay, she told herself, because he's resilient.
Or maybe he was buried under rubble along with the rest of sector seven, and she couldn't admit it because she couldn't stand the thought of losing somebody else after Zack.
While she was pretty certain her SOLDIER friend would be okay, she couldn't say the same for her newest friends and had no idea if they were hurt… or worse. Her thoughts went back to Tifa, the unsure young woman who had eaten chocobo pops and watched Cloud compete in the tournament alongside her. Tifa, who despite everything now felt like a friend she'd had for most of her life, who could now potentially be gone forever.
And then there was Cloud Strife.
Her heart skipped a beat as she pictured his trademark impassive look, which always seemed to be interrupted by something that surprised or confused him. The mask he tried to wear was almost like a physical defense mechanism, and there were parts of it she understood – after all, if Aerith could relate to anything, it was a mask to hide one's true emotions. Of course that wasn't the fairest judgments, considering Aerith herself had been raised to be a people pleaser without any large idea of the world beyond her tower prison. Real-world experience barely existed on her radar.
She didn't think Cloud had passed on, not yet. There was something inside her that believed with everything she had that he would have said goodbye, just like Zack had a few months ago. Despite it only having been a few days since they had met, she couldn't shake the feeling that she was meant to go along with him in whatever journey he was on. It was impossible for her to deny a strange connection she still didn't understand. She felt drawn to him like a moth to a flame, like he held some kind of answer she'd never known she needed. Was it something to do with his blank expression before her death in the vision?
The planet seemed to agree wholeheartedly based on the gentle pressure in her head, and for some reason she pictured its response as Zack bobbing his head up and down fervently. The mental image of him made her smile, and eventually she slowly exhaled and closed her eyes.
I'm okay, she reminded herself.
The sound of light sniffling interrupted her silent lament. Rising to her feet in shock at the sound, Aerith whirled around while wondering who else could possibly in the church with her. The answer that greeted her came from a figure in the back pew, so short that all she saw was a head of familiar blond hair. Her heart skipped again as she realized whom it looked like.
Her feet drawing her toward the other figure, Aerith paused when finally she reached him. The young man certainly looked like Cloud, except smaller, less muscular, and less…driven. He had his knees up to his chest and his head buried in the arms he had wrapped around them.
Aerith went cold. Did Cloud die in sector seven? she asked herself wildly. Is this his way of bidding farewell? Based on the albeit limited experiences she'd had with those passing into the lifestream, she doubted this was the case.
Another sniffle came from somewhere beneath his choppy blond bangs.
"Are you okay?" she asked softly, uncertainly.
"Are you okay?" she heard her voice repeat from somewhere else in the church – or was it inside her head? Aerith frowned as she heard the voice say something else. "Maybe you're not okay…"
In front of her, Cloud's head popped up, and his baby blue eyes went wide as he saw her. Instantly he scampered back, as if he was trapped. Almost tripping over his feet, he sprang to them and held up his fists, rubbing his eyes quickly. "Who are you? Where am I?" he demanded in a quaking voice, in a way that reminded her all-too-well of her own verbal attempts to stand up to her guardian. His face was a little rounder than she knew, and his face held none of the stubbornness or anger that she was familiar with.
"An old church in the sector five slums," her voice answered from somewhere around her again. Lips parted in confusion, Aerith looked about herself as she tried to find the source of her other voice. When she didn't see anything, she realized that Cloud was still eyeing her suspiciously.
He didn't hear anything, she realized, and then asked aloud, "You don't know me?" She smiled and held her hands up in a sign of peace. "I'm Aerith, remember?"
He shook his head furiously, rubbing his eyes again as he seemed to get his bearings. When their gazes met again, Aerith noted the distinct lack of mako glow usually intertwined with his blue irises. In addition, he looked to be wearing a standard trooper uniform, not the older SOLDIER clothing he wore in her time. While this could only be him, maybe this wasn't her Cloud… at least, not yet.
He muttered something under his breath while shaking his head again.
She tried a different approach, a riskier one that hadn't seemed to help his waking, older counterpart but may provide answers here. "You're friends with Zack, right?" she questioned conversationally as she sank into the pew spot he had just vacated to alleviate her still-shaking legs. "I'm friends with him too!"
Cloud tilted his head for a moment, his tense posture slowly relaxing. Then he nodded as he slowly sat back down, as far away in the same pew from her as he could get. Aerith looked forward at the rest of the church, taking in its familiarity and allowing that to help keep her grounded. This may all just be in her head, or she may be actually sitting with a younger Cloud Strife – who was friends with Zack – in the imagined halls of a church in the lifestream, right after finding out he was going to be there when she died a horrific death. She didn't know what to believe.
"How do you know Zack?" Cloud stubbornly asked, still sounding untrusting.
Aerith sighed. "We were friends long ago," she explained. "He was assigned to be my bodyguard to visit this very church. And then…well, we kinda went a little further."
"You're his girlfriend?"
She eyed him and winked. "I was," she responded, ignoring the pang of sadness that came from her chest when she corrected his tense. "That was a long time ago for me."
Cloud thought for a few quiet moments and then stood once more. He began to walk towards the enticing aroma of the flowers. Aerith watched him as she heard that other strange voice yet again, "Fell right into my flower bed, lucky for you."
Her other voice was polite and bordering on happy, but that didn't stop her from being slightly alarmed that she could hear it anyway. She recalled that warm, content feeling she'd identified as love from what the planet tried to show her and tried to piece it together with the disembodied voice. Perhaps they matched?
"Why were you crying?" she asked instead of dwelling on it.
Cloud didn't answer. His eyes were doing a careful study of the large sanctuary they were in. He stared at the columns supporting the grand ceiling, and then he looked through the windows. Finally, he looked down at the flowers in front of his feet. Aerith, deciding to join him, stood back up and silently approached.
"I've been alone…" Cloud murmured as she got closer. "I've been alone for a long time. It's always been a white room until now. Where are we?"
"That depends on where you are," she supplied instantly as she knelt down again. "See…for me, this is my imagination in the lifestream. Why are you in the lifestream, Cloud?"
Cloud looked at her in shock, his short stature and young face a fixation for her curiosity. "The…lifestream? What do you mean? Am I…" He gulped. "Am I dead?"
Aerith stroked the petals of a yellow flower in front of her, allowing its scent to fill her nostrils and calm her down. Luckily, it seemed like the voice in her head was choosing to be silent now.
"No, I don't think you are," she finally replied as she settled down and patted the floorboards next to her. It took a few seconds, which had her reminiscing on their first encounter on the night of Rufus's birthday party, but then the younger Cloud noisily plopped down beside her.
She took a few moments to appreciate the church as she remembered it. Clasping her hands and bowing her head, Aerith prayed for the multitude of lives that had freshly returned to the planet. She prayed for strength to face whatever she was dealing with back in the real world. She prayed for her friends. And most of all, she prayed for the Cloud next to her.
"She doesn't want me here," Cloud muttered.
Cracking an eyelid open, she peered over at his hunched-over figure. "Who doesn't want you here?"
"…Mother," he whispered.
For the simplicity of the word, it sent an unpleasant flash of anger through the lifestream. In her mind's image of the planet that kept showing her the face of the man she'd lost, she could imagine Zack recoiling. "Your…mother?" she repeated softly with an inquiring look.
"No." He shook his head quickly. "My mother was an amazing person. I think…I think she's here now." Gesturing around them, it took her a moment to understand that he meant the lifestream.
"I'm sorry," she told him gently while carefully placing a hand on his. "What happened?"
Cloud frowned, deep in thought. "I remember…Nibelheim," he gasped with a deep shudder. "My – my hometown. He…he burned it down. He killed my m-mother. He killed my friends."
The sheer upset and panic that was rolling off him in waves was enough for Aerith to move closer while trying not to startle him but also try and offer him comfort. She was keenly aware of the pronouns he was using – who was he? – but she wasn't sure if she should push further.
"I'm sorry," she said gently, squeezing his hand. "It's over now. I promise. You're in Midgar now, and you have friends."
Cloud sniffled and stared at her. "Like you?" he asked.
"Like me," she promised with a smile. "I'll be your friend."
He seemed to relax a bit more at those words, although the frown never left his face. As he stared ahead towards the flowers in apparent thought, Aerith took a moment to steady her own thoughts and check off what she knew. First of all, while this was Cloud Strife, it was a younger version of him. His wounds were fresh, and he hadn't had enough time to stew in his internal self to become the man she knew now. He was maybe in his mid-teens, and there was a wariness about him that she assumed stemmed from this "mother" he had referenced. As if wanting her to arrive to the same conclusion, the lifestream reminded her of those two poisonous words:
Jenova.
Calamity.
"Hey Cloud…" she began as she followed his gaze to the flowers. "Who is this 'mother' you mentioned?"
His face scrunched up, twisting in momentary pain. His hand underneath hers clenched into a fist. "I…I don't know," he answered hoarsely after a few tense moments, his eyes squeezed shut. "She won't leave me alone. She's always here and she's always saying things…"
"Like what?" Aerith pressed. The lifestream was a blanket of wariness as it waited with her to learn more.
But Cloud shook his head and opened his eyes, his gaze pleading. "I can't, I – I don't know."
He looked so lost, so small compared to the Cloud she knew. His eyes were tearing up a little and her heart went out to him. Before she could stop herself, Aerith reached around and pulled him into a hug, wrapping her arms around the teen and trying to will comfort through the embrace. While Cloud was stiff at first – now that was more like the Cloud she knew – he gradually relaxed and rested his head against the crook of her neck.
There was a tugging sensation at the back of her mind. "Cloud…" she said softly with her arms still around him. "I think it's time for me to go."
Cloud hugged her tight for one more long moment before pulling away and wiping his eyes. "I think I remember you now," he told her. "Sometimes I can see things, sometimes I can sense things. I just don't know what's happening. Who's – who's running the show, you know?"
"I'll get to the bottom of it," she promised him with a quick, final smile. The tugging was getting stronger, and she felt her grasp on the lifestream slip away. "I'll talk to you soon, Cloud."
The last image she had was of him curling his knees back into his chest and wrapping his arms around them, his eyes now filled with a new brimming hope.
Cloud
"Come on!" Cloud shouted in rage and punched the solid metal door with his fist, but only succeeded in making his knuckles hurt. He grimaced as he shook out the temporary pain and resumed his pacing in the small cell. His gaze shifted over to Aerith's still form on the bed in the far corner, and he was satisfied to see her chest rise and fall in a rhythm that was growing all too familiar to him.
They hurt her. The thought cut through his mind as sharply as a blade, and he instinctively reached for his sword as the desire to hit something in his anger flared up… but of course, they had taken that and Aerith's bag from him too. Now he was left with no way of defending Aerith when the need arose, no way of defending himself for that matter, and as he was trapped in this cell, he also had no way of finding out whether any of his friends in the sector seven slums had survived the plate falling.
Shooting a glare towards the security camera in the corner, he debated for one wicked moment on sabotaging it. That'll show them, he thought savagely as his hands balled up into fists. Then, glancing back at Aerith's still form, he heaved out a sigh and crossed the small room instead, letting his legs slide beneath him till he was sitting on the floor next to her and using the bed as a support for his back.
"Why am I never strong enough?" he growled into the empty air, hating the useless feeling that washed over him. He could remember enough to know he'd failed more times than he could count in his life. First, there was the time back when he had been a child, and he hadn't been fast or strong enough to save Tifa from the fall. Sure, he'd fallen too, but if he had just been fast enough…
Next, of course, there was the time he'd been too weak to save his mom. The sting of anger burned over the sorrow that leapt into the back of his throat, and his mouth went dry as he remembered the entrancing heat of flames licking up at the buildings he'd known his entire life... at the people he'd known his entire life. How easily his mom's bright light was snuffed out in the glint of cold steel. He could still hear her scream, could see the flames dancing across the dirt, could -
He bit his lip and pushed the memory aside in a desperate bid to not feel vulnerable when it was his mission to protect Aerith. Then again, he'd basically failed all his missions surrounding the president's ward. He glanced over his shoulder to stare at her peaceful face, noticing the lack of emotion anywhere in her slumber. He had only been awake for an hour since he had been drugged, and wasn't sure how long they had been trapped in the cell. Thankfully, nobody had tried to bother them yet. While he was useless compared to Tifa when it came to hand-to-hand combat, he knew he'd do what he needed to in order to keep the sleeping woman safe.
But then there was one other thing to consider: the gaping hole in his memory, and the faint inkling that maybe he hadn't made it to SOLDIER after all. It was strange, as he had all of the necessary enhancements , equipment, and experience… but none of the memories that went with it. Who had been on his team in SOLDIER? Who had been his mentor? Who had been his coworkers? All he drew were blanks.
"I'm a failure," he muttered into the silent air next to her face. "I can't get anything right, not even things that should be easy."
Aerith remained peaceful and oblivious to his words.
Cloud thought for a long moment before continuing, "I just don't understand why I can't do enough." His mother's still face pierced through his memory once again, and he shoved it back down before the watering at the corners of his eyes threatened to spill over. He wasn't a kid anymore, and emotions were for the weak, a word he was doing everything in his power to not be defined as.
And yet he couldn't stop himself from adding, "I mean, I'm not sure what I was even doing at the party, the one way back when." Words tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop him, and while his mind pointed out that this was very uncharacteristic of him, a small voice in the back of his mind disagreed. "My mission was to help Tifa, sure, but was that what she had meant when I promised all those years ago to be there for her? What was I thinking?"
His gaze dropped to his hands, which were lightly curled in his lap. "And then I saw you and you were miserable. You weren't… who we all thought you would be, being Shinra's ward and all, and I couldn't bring myself to hurt you. Not when you looked so sad and...familiar, somehow." The glittering emerald of her eyes flashed into his mind again, and for the umpteenth time he tried to figure out where he'd seen that color before. It was to no avail.
"I'm sorry," he said instead. "I'm sorry for failing you, and for putting you in this mess. I'm sorry for breaking your trust. I mean," he added with a humorless, bitter chuckle, "I can't even take care of myself, not when I keep blacking out for no reason or getting caught."
He pulled his knees closer against him and dipped his temple against them, and let the crippling weight of failure and guilt settle down on his shoulders. Behind him, Aerith continued to breathe deeply, gently, and Cloud used that as a tether to calm himself down. He wouldn't be any use to her if he was focused on his own issues. His mess would have to be dealt with another time.
As he squeezed his eyes shut, Cloud thought he felt that sickening familiar set of eyes watching him.
"Go away," he hissed without opening them.
A light chuckle permeated the air and stifled his breath. "Were it so simple, Cloud," came the slithering reply. Cloud groaned and pressed his hands against his ears as a headache began to lightly drum its way to existence.
Yet even despite his efforts, Sephiroth's voice continued to ring clearly in his mind. "She's so peaceful," he said, and then: "This is what she will look like when she's dead."
Cloud's eyes snapped open and he looked around wildly for the source of the voice. Of course, Sephiroth was just in his head. He shifted so that he could face Aerith entirely, and her chest thankfully continued to lightly rise and fall. Even so, Sephiroth's words sent an icy chill into his heart and the very thought of Aerith dead permeated the anger inside him. He reached out instinctively to grab her hand for reassurance that she was still very much alive.
Her hand was cool in his, and as he watched her face earnestly, Cloud noted that she was sleeping far more deeply than he had thought. She was laying on her side, still in that stunning red dress from earlier, although it looked worse for wear now: the seam had popped on the side and revealed the slightest bit of milky white skin beneath. Feeling a flush come over his face, Cloud moved onto her hands. Her arms were curled against her chest, her fingers intertwined as though she were deep in prayer. Light goosebumps pricked her skin, and it was only at that moment that he realized the room they were in was a little cool. He glanced around quickly to see if there was something to help, and then he spied the set of folded clothes left at the end of the bed behind her feet. He reached over the ruffles of her dress to pick them up and take a closer look at what was there.
The first article of clothing was a simple white shirt. It was small and had short sleeves, which wouldn't help the predicament. Underneath that was an equally white pair of pants, that while feeling comfortable wouldn't help her arms. Finally, the last item in the pile was a thin, gray blanket. It felt scratchy and not at all warm, but it would have to do. Very carefully so as not to wake her, he turned onto his knees, unfolded the blanket, and gently set it over her resting form. He tucked the blanket just under her chin, and before he could stop himself he was brushing a stray messy curl away from her closed eyes, tucking it behind her ear to study her face better.
In the hours that had transpired since she'd first gotten into her current getup, Aerith's makeup had begun to wear off. Soft, dark tracks led down her eyes as if she'd been crying. Skin-colored makeup he had no name for was fading and light freckles were peeking out on her cheeks. Her lips, which were once painted red, were now a familiar, soft pink. His hand lingered next to her face as he stared, transfixed. Even now, there was a beauty about her that seemed surreal, ethereal.
Cloud exhaled and drew his hand away in shame as his heart stuttered. This wasn't like him, letting his guard down so easily around others… even if they were fast asleep. The problem with Aerith was she'd always made it so easy. Her personality had gently teased his fortified walls to fall with the way she amicably conversed, the way she seemed genuinely interested in stupid things like whether he drank coffee and where he came from, and the way she had tried to help him escape from Don Corneo not once but twice. She had risked her own life – a life living under the watchful eye of the emperor of Mako energy himself – to help him, an ex-SOLDIER nobody with a shaky past not even he knew about.
With the track record so freshly laid behind him, how could anybody, especially Aerith, see him as anything more than the failure he was?
Instead, he turned back around – noticing the feeling of being watched by Sephiroth was gone and there was no sign of him in the room – and resumed facing away from her on the floor, bringing a knee up and resting his chin against his palm. His heart twinged painfully as he tried to force it to shut up. Now wasn't the time for silly kids' crushes, because the gods knew he'd already had his fair share. His entire childhood had centered around impressing Tifa, at least until the fateful day when her dad banned him from speaking to her. Then he was forced to watch from the sidelines as the rest of the guys in Nibelheim fawned over her. Sure, he felt some redemption from his being there for her five years ago before confronting Sephiroth, which wasn't a subject he'd brought up to her just yet, but there was no denying the truth: his first childhood crush had been an absolute catastrophe, and with how things were going now, it wasn't time for another one.
That didn't stop his heart from leaping into his throat in excitement – ridiculous, he chided himself – as he heard shifting on the bed behind him. Her heartbeat, a faint reassurance to his sensitive hearing, picked up a bit as she woke. The room was silent for a few moments as he hoped she didn't have as good of hearing as he did, because his heart was racing in anticipation of what she would say.
"Heya," Aerith finally murmured.
Making a big show as if he hadn't known she was awake, Cloud tilted his head ever-so-slightly to meet her gaze in his peripherals and nodded once. "Hey." He was curious why she wasn't surprised to see him or see where she was, but he didn't press the subject.
"Are…Kunsel and Tifa…" she started quietly, seemingly unable to finish the train of thought out loud.
Cloud sighed and hoisted himself to his feet, stretching his arms above him before crossing them. "I don't know," he admitted while looking down. "I couldn't reach them."
"Oh… Well at least you're here. You're okay," she stated and smiled at him. "I'm glad."
He turned around and nodded again as he forced the flush creeping up his neck back down. "Yeah," he agreed but not at all feeling like he was okay. "I'm here."
"How did that happen, anyway?" The little tilt of her head caused that curl he'd tucked behind her ear to swing forward again. She was glancing around them now and spotted the unfolded clothes from where he'd left them crumpled on the floor. "Oh! Are those for me? Anything to get out of this dreadful dress," she complained with a small smile. As he watched, she stood and set the blanket that was over her gently onto the bed. Her head tilted more and her smile grew in understanding. Cloud looked away, deciding his ridiculous emotions would be better used in glowering at the security camera again.
There was a soft clearing of a throat behind him. He turned back around to see Aerith's apologetic face a lot closer than it was before.
"Um," she said with slightly pink cheeks, "will you unzip me? I can't reach."
She turned around before he could say no and swung her hair over her shoulder to show him the zipper in question. Cloud's face was probably properly red now, but she had asked him for help and he knew it was in his best interest to assist her. He reached forward with shaking hands and braced the left one underneath while the right took hold of the zipper and started tugging it downwards. His mind was going crazy as he debated the right place to stop – at what point could she reach? After the zipper was resting on her lower back, he drew his hands away quickly and turned away to give her privacy.
"Thank you," he heard her say gently before she moved to the small bathroom in the front corner of the room. Cloud chose to remain silent as he tried to reign in his rapid heartbeat over the sounds of her dress falling to the floor.
After a few more moments, Aerith finally addressed the subject he'd been waiting for her to ask about.
"How did you end up here then?" she asked conversationally.
Cloud coughed once and sank onto the bed as he waited for her to reappear, answering simply, "I came after you."
She peeked her head back out with surprise and gratefulness. "You came after me?"
"O-of course."
She disappeared again and he heard the sounds of metal being moved, a low thud, and some light cursing that surprised him – Aerith swore? Curiosity getting the better of him, Cloud made to stand up to go inspect what the hell she was doing.
"Stay there," Aerith instructed quickly from the bathroom. "Just give me a couple – more – seconds….Aha!"
If the room had noises besides them, he may not have noticed the light whirring from the streaming security camera stop.
"What the hell did you do?" he asked as he warily eyed the no-longer-blinking camera in the corner. It was effectively dead.
Laughter ricocheted off the empty room. "Just a little trick I picked up from my visits here," she responded easily. "You can get up now, by the way."
Cloud did just that and he quickly made his way into the bathroom to see a side panel of the outside wall pulled off and in front of Aerith was a mess of colorful wires. She looked up from under a curtain of hair and offered him a quick thumb's up and grin.
"I've been in Hojo's labs way too many times," she explained as she eyed a blue wire and inspected it for a few moments before glancing beyond him to the door. "I had a lot of time to myself, so I taught myself how to mess with the room. That's the third time I've cut the camera feed, and this…" she paused for dramatic effect as she bent the wire in two and placed an old nail she got from who-knew-where between them, "this will be my second time breaking out."
Cloud wasn't going to lie now; he was in awe. For a woman trapped in the Shinra tower her whole life, she had picked up some useful skills that were coming in handy now. "This is a bit of a circle we're in," he told her. "You save me, I save you, and now you're saving both of us. Round and round it goes…"
She giggled a bit at his words before preparing to sever the wire. Cloud glanced back at the door in amazement as he heard it slide open.
"That's incredible," he said honestly as he turned back to her. And then he realized that she was staring at him, expression morphing into horror, with the wire in her hands still connected.
Heavy footsteps permeated the room and Cloud whirled around to face the newcomer, his body blocking Aerith from view. Just for extra measure this time, he held a hand out to stop her from trying to move forward like she did back in Wall Market.
"Well, isn't this a nice catch," Rufus Shinra said.