He brings her to a halt. "Then let's do it."

"Do what?"

"Walk back to the past."

She tenses, she thinks that she already knows what is coming. "Avatar, I don't want to try your silly pacifist monk, guru method."

"First of all, it's not silly, it's a very complex and deeply spiritual process that involves a lot of inward thinking, self-reflection and bravery." He ignores her stifled laugh and continues, "Second of all that's not what I was going to suggest. Third of all, I'm glad that you're feeling better."

"Who says that I'm feeling better?"

"You're laughing and you don't look like a kicked rabaroo anymore."

A small pout betrays her.

"Okay, well you sort of do right now but…" his eyes widen. "Hey! You're trying to distract me."

"I am not."

"Azula, we don't have to do any 'silly pacifist monk' stuff. I just want you to talk to me. No spirit vines, no altered emotions. I want to hear the real you talk about your past."

She is certain that his mind is still stuck on a single comment. On two simple words. "What of it?"

"When was the last time you were happy?" He asks. "Were you ever happy?"

The question is as perplexing and heavy as it had been the first time he'd posed it and this time she doesn't have a shot of manufactured serenity to help her through it. She finds herself a tree to prop herself up against. "Why are you so desperate to know?"

.oOo.

Aang sighs to himself. Wherever he thinks that he is making ground with her, she goes and proves otherwise. He supposes that he has brought this level of guardedness upon himself. Even so, he wishes that she would throw him some sort of a chance.

"Because I have to start somewhere with you and I don't know where to…"

He catches her leaning more heavily against the tree. "Why do you want to get into my head so badly?"

"I don't want to get into your head, I did enough of that. I told you that I want to help you."

"Why?" She asks. "You haven't given me a why. What is your motive?"

"I have no-"

"Everyone has a motive, Avatar? Sangyul certainly had one. So what's yours?"

"I just...I like helping people. That's what I do. It's what I'm supposed to do." He tries not to dwell on it so much. Tries not to dwell upon it at all but her spirit energy is so potantly distraught. So laced with hurt and so tangled with mistrust.

"So I'm a project."

"You're a person." He tries. "You have feelings."

"And you've learned to navigate them very well."

He grits his teeth. "Will you stop bringing that up! I could be reminding you of that time when you shot me with lightning. When you killed me!"

"I did what I had to do." She mutters. "And I'd do it again." She crosses her arms and averts her gaze. He wishes that it didn't remind him so much of that more timid version of her. He rubs his face, reminding himself that, that version of her had always been there. Had always been a part of her even if he hadn't gotten to see it.

"Maybe you would. But would you want to?" He asks. "We all had to do things during the war, Azula."

The princess heaves herself away from the tree and strides away from him with no direction but a sense of purpose. He scrambles after her. "Azula! We're not done talking!"

Apparently she is.

He clenches his shouldn't have brought up the lightning thing.

"I got you out of there! I didn't have to." But he did. He absolutely did have to get her away from that facility."

Her determined strides come to a very abrupt halt. His stomach sinks.

"So that's it. I'm in your debt now? It must be empowering to have a princess in your debt." She comments. "I suppose I should have expected you to swap one means of control for another. That's what I would have done."

"I didn't bring that up to blackmail you, I was hoping that you'd realize that you can trust me." And yet he'd picked the most patronizing phrasing. He knows that she is aware of this. "I also said it because I'm frustrated."

"If I frustrate you then maybe you should leave me to my own devices."

"I don't want to do that." He shakes his head. "You frustrated me because you won't let me help you. Sometimes it seems like you want my help and then you just...close up."

Azula grits her teeth and works a muscle in her jaw.

"You haven't decided if you want my help, have you?" He thinks of telling her to come find him when she decides. He almost does. But, Raava, if that wouldn't stir up an impulse decision. He wishes that he didn't have to be so delicate with her.

.oOo.

Azula's stomach is tying itself in knots. Why can't she just decide what she wants? She thinks that they have damaged her beyond repair. Not that she hadn't been heavily guarded prior to their invasion.

The incessant itch for release is still ever present and this time she can't seem to push it back to the inner recesses of her mind. Agni, she thought that it would go away if she didn't poke or prod at it.

But the truth is, she wants to talk.

She needs to talk.

She can't talk.

Not while she is in such a prone state.

"If you do want my help I promise that it won't be like any of the institutions. I'll listen to you and you can say as much or as little as you want."

"What did you do in the war?" She asks. "That you didn't want to do?"

She thinks that she sees relief in his eyes. "I did a lot of things. In the Avatar state-I can't quite be sure-but I think that I killed people. I'm almost sure that I did because Katara gets really quiet when I ask." He pauses. "So I guess that I have no right to call you out on killing me."

Azula shifts awkwardly. "At least some resentment is due."

"I could have killed you and Zuko. I didn't have control over the Avatar state."

"You would have done what you had to do." She shrugs.

"I still don't feel good about it."

"Yeah…"

"You don't have to be proud of everything you did either."

She hesitates. "But I am." And she will stick firm-as firmly as she possibly can-to that. "I was fighting for my Nation." And for her father. "And I am perfectly okay with that. If we would have won the war I would have been…"

"The hero and I would have been the bad guy?"

She nods. "Correct."

"I guess that's the weird thing about war. Everyone thinks that they're doing the heroic thing but it usually turns out that we're all the bad guys." He pauses. "Or maybe most of us are good guys and one or two villains called the shots."

"Indulge me, Avatar. What good do you think I've done?" When he says nothing she asks. "What makes you think that I'm not one of the two villains?"

"Well...uh…" He nervously rubs the back of his head. "Zuko mentioned that you both really wanted to be in your father's good graces. I don't exactly have any affection for your dad but he's still your dad."

"What's your point?" She hisses.

"My point is that you loved him, right?"

Azula bites the inside of her lip. She nods, though it is much more complicated than that.

"And love is a good thing." He smiles softly. "I think that you also loved your nation, right?"

"Very much." She replies. "We may have lost but we're still the greatest nation." She holds her fist to her chest and her chin high.

He laughs.

"Why do you laugh when I am not being funny but refuse to laugh when I make a joke?"

It takes him a moment but he seems to understand, "I was really tired when you mimicked Zuko. I'm laughing at this because, I don't know, I think that it's kind of...endearing that you're so passionate about your culture." He adds, "that's not a bad thing either."

"Your point?"

"That you're not a bad person. I just think that you've been channeling your energy and passion into the wrong thing." He pauses. "Or, actually, that you've been putting you passion into some good things but using approaching it the wrong way."

Misguided.

She cringes at the unspoken truth.

"Whatever the reasoning, I can't fix it."

"Yes you can." He reaches out and touches her bicep. She isn't sure why, but she lets him. There is something reassuring in the gesture. Something comforting. Her tummy tickles. "There's still a lot left to do to bridge the nations together. You can be a part of that. This time you can help spread Fire Nation culture, but for real."

"For real…"

"I think that we both know that your father wasn't trying to spread the Fire Nation's glory. He was trying to expand his power."

She supposes that he wouldn't have left her behind if he didn't think that she would get in the way of it. She and her cracking psyche and her weakness and…

"I know that you don't like talking about your father so we can try a new subject."

"That would be ideal."

"You're not evil, Azula. That's what you need to know." He pauses. "And for the record, I don't think that you're unlovable either."

She crinkles her brows. "You don't?"

"I don't."

Her stomach flops again.

"I think that, once you start opening up, people will like you a lot. I have a feeling that there's more to you than war tactics and politics."

She isn't sure that she agrees. "I haven't exactly had time to explore hobbies outside of that."

"Great, then there are a lot of opportunities for you to try new things. Do you know how memorable first times are?"

"I assure you that seeing my first hallucination was an unforgettable moment."

"And so was going to that beach party with Zuko. Yeah, he told me all about that." Aang chuckles. "He mentioned that it was the first time in a long time that you guys bonded."

Azula almost smiles.

"What I'm trying to say is that you have a chance. I just really hope that you'll take it."

"I can try." But Agni is it such a fight and she hasn't won many of those in a while.

"You tend to succeed at things you try." He points out.

"I used to, yes."

"You still do!" He insists. "Look how quickly you're getting back to firebending. Do you know how long that usually takes people?"

"I suppose that I am much better than most people at firebending." Once upon a time, she'd wager that she was better than everyone. "It's coming along quicker than I expected." She holds out her hand and gazes at that admirably large orange flame. "I miss having blue fire."

"You won't for long." Aang promises. "Once you start feeling like yourself again."

And how lovely would that be. To truly feel as empowered and bold as she had before. She thinks that, for the first time in so long, she has at least some semblance of control. That she has at least a small sense of herself. Of the old her.

"Can you answer one more question?"

"Depends. What is it?"

"Was that so bad, talking about what's bothering you?"

"It was quite painful, yes." She replies. Painful and humiliating. She feels ridiculous, really. Ridiculous but...lighter. She thinks that the itch has finally eased. "We will do this again."

.oOo.

Aang bites back a chuckle. He hadn't anticipated her talking so much. But he supposes that once the floodgates are open, they are hard to shut. Even still, he thinks that he has only scratched the surface. Though it is a start. A real start. And a start born of free will.

Her aura has brightened some. Enough for it to be of note. Splashes of red penetrate the greys and flecks of orange begin to drive out the browns.

"So where do we go now?" He asks.

"I think that I should go home." She lazily and absently coils what's left of her bangs around her finger. "We ought to let Zuzu know that I haven't killed you. And besides, it will be much easier to find and eliminate Sangyul if I have more resources to expend."

"Alright we'll go to the palace." His heart gives a hopeful little flutter. She is starting to sound like herself again.