Late Thursday morning, Kurt and Sebastian returned from their home décor shopping trip. They pulled the large boxes out of the truck bed and took them into the garage. They unboxed the first one, and carried it into their room.
"I can't believe we found an Art Deco-ish love seat at Target," Kurt said, as they carried the charcoal love seat into their bedroom and put it against the empty wall.
Sebastian looked around the room. "It looks good. Let's go bring the other love seat in before the snow soaks through the box."
They unboxed it and carried it into the playroom.
"I love the orange," Kurt said. "I figured the options would be gray, brown, and black. The orange is so cheerful."
Sebastian stepped back. "I like it too. I'm glad I let you talk me into the orange. It's never been one of my favorite colors, but it's a great contrast with the pale aqua walls. And it really does make it look more like a kiddie playroom."
They went back outside. Kurt used the broom to sweep out the back of the truck while Sebastian used a box cutter to chop the boxes into sections small enough to fit into their recycle bin. Once the snow was out of the back, Kurt pulled the truck into the garage. When Sebastian finished, he helped bring in the bags from the backseat. "I think these felted storage boxes are perfect. Let's set them up and put their toys in." Kurt took one of the Ikea bags into the playroom.
Sebastian followed him. "I know they aren't old enough for the stuffed fruit and vegetable baskets yet, but they will be in a few months. I'm just going to stick them in the dresser in the closet until then." He stepped inside the closet. "I'm glad I had the closets painted white. When my mom had Rose's room and the room that's our office now repainted last year, she had the closet walls painted white. It makes them a lot brighter."
Kurt went in the study closet, grabbed the pillows he had made for the efficiency, and put them on the love seat. He took the valence into the laundry room and ironed it quickly. He took it back to the playroom, took the empty rod down on the window, slipped it through the channel he had sewn on the back of the valence, and put it back up on the window.
"It looks good," Sebastian said.
Once they finished the playroom, they moved on to adding the other things they'd gotten to finish up the other rooms so they could be done before Amaline had to leave for the day. They carried the lamps and the bag of other things they had gotten for the study into the room, put them on Kurt's desk, and started putting them where they went.
"Are we going to your grandparents' Saturday?"
"They're expecting us. Do you not want to go?"
"That's not it. I was just checking. I know it's our weekend to go, but with it being the weekend before Christmas, I thought they might have other plans."
"Nope, but I suspect that they have some kind of cute holiday outfits for the girls that they can wear on Christmas Eve. I caught Grandma looking at the tags on their outfits two weeks ago. I figured that she was checking their sizes."
"Sounds about right. Have you told them about us?" Kurt situated the desk lamp he had gotten where he wanted it and climbed under the desk to plug it in.
"I did. Grandma's response was, 'Good for you, dear. I'm glad you found someone. He's a real sweetheart.' I've told you for ages that she likes you. I meant that."
Kurt nodded.
"Grandpa said, 'You did good, Sebastian.'"
Kurt chuckled. "They're both really sweet." He stood back up and turned the lamp on and off to check that it worked.
"They are." Sebastian stepped closer and wrapped his arms around Kurt's lower back. "After New Year's, I'd like you to start the process of getting a Passport for you and Aliza. It will take a while."
"Why do we need Passports?"
"Because I want to take you to Paris." He kissed Kurt gently.
"What?" Kurt pulled back and gave Sebastian a confused look.
"You don't want to go?"
"Of course, I do, but I can't afford to."
"Well, I can afford to take all of us and I want to take my gorgeous boyfriend and our two daughters to meet the rest of my family some time."
"I told you that I didn't want you to offer to do things for me just because you can."
"And I haven't been. You've paid for your own meals out, groceries, half of the household cleaning items, and the personal things you bought when we were out shopping today. I haven't overstepped and I won't. Rose is 9 months old and my family members in France haven't gotten to see her yet. She's going to end up being 14-15 months old before I can take her there and I don't want to leave half of my family here while I go to see my family there. Please don't consider this to be flaunting my money. I need you to understand that I do know how important money is. And I'm not just going to throw around what I've inherited. I know that I want to work for a living, even though I would never have to. Just think about it, okay? And consider it from my perspective too."
"Alright. I'll consider your point of view." He kissed Sebastian. "On a completely different topic, before we go to bed tonight, we should figure our where we're going to put my sound system. We need to make room for it and see what might need to be done to plug it in. I figured we'd put it in our room since there's already a stereo in the living room."
"That would be nice. We could listen to music in our room." Sebastian got up from where he had plugged the light in for his drawing table and looked around the room. "Okay. I think that's it. I'll go check on the casserole in the oven. I know you bought some storage and organization stuff for your desk. You can work on that so everything will be done and ready to bring your stuff here tomorrow morning."
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Later that evening, Kurt lay in bed, this time as the little spoon. He scooted back into Sebastian's chest. Sebastian slid his left arm under Kurt's pillow and his right arm under Kurt's arm and put his hand on Kurt's heart. Kurt closed his eyes and did his best to relax, but wasn't really succeeding. Sebastian could feel the tension.
"What's got you so tense?"
Kurt signed. "It just feels weird to sneak into my parents' house and bring my stuff here."
"Weird because your stuff will be here or weird because of feeling like you're sneaking."
"The sneaking part. I used to keep a lot of stuff from my dad, and I told him that I'd stop, but now I'm going to go take my stuff without telling him."
"Just text him in the morning before we get there and tell him."
"I didn't tell him because I knew it would upset him. But now that I'm thinking about it, he may have informed the security company that he'd be gone from tomorrow morning until Monday evening. If I open the door, even using the code to get in, the security company might come out to the house."
Sebastian kissed him on the back of the neck. "I know you have a long history of keeping things to yourself. I just want you to know that I really want us to be open and honest with each other. I don't want you to feel like you have to hide something or some part of yourself from me. If I don't understand why something you do is important to you, I will listen to you tell me why. You told me why you used certain products and we switched to those. I wasn't bothered at all. Not everything has to be my way. I know you probably feel that way to an extent because you moved in here with me. I know that I made a bunch of design decisions without your input, but I did take into consideration what I knew about you when I made those choices. Since I had no idea that you would be here over break, I thought it would be a really nice surprise. I had planned to wait until you came back to pick out the comforter. I wanted to do it together – that and the art for the walls."
Kurt slipped his left hand up and intertwined his fingers with Sebastian's hand that was on his chest. "I'm not keeping my 'real' opinion to myself about what you've done with the redecorating. I think everything looks great, and everything I've said has been completely honest. We'll just have to keep our mask-wearing alter-egos in check. I know that neither of us is being our true selves at school. We just have to make sure to leave the masks off and learn to turn to each other and trust completely. We're definitely on our way to that. I really do love you and I want that closeness with you that I've always dreamed of having with someone – someone I could tell hopes and dreams to who wouldn't laugh, but who would ask me about them and even dream with me, even if what I hope for and dream about for is so far out of reach as to be impossible to attain."
"I know that you're dropping your walls and being vulnerable with me. I want to be that someone. I'm not that guy who's caught up in pretending to be someone I'm not anymore. Like you said, you've seen my geeky stuff and you didn't run for the hills. I'm wearing Green Lantern pajama pants right now and you're still willing to share a bed with me."
Kurt chuckled. He nudged Sebastian back and rolled over to face him. He put his hand on the side of his face and stroked his cheek before kissed him. He lay close enough that they were nose to nose. "I like your geeky side. It makes you more real. I'm looking forward to building that Harry Potter Hogwarts castle with you week after next. I don't have to want to read every comic book you own to be glad that you have a hobby that you enjoy. I'm not expecting you to suddenly think that Vogue is more interesting than the Green Lantern."
"That's just not possible, you know." Sebastian pecked him on the nose.
Kurt could feel him laughing silently. "I do know. I fell in love with you while you were being your geeky self – making sound effects while feeding Rose, putting on shows while putting away the dishes to keep her entertained while you do mundane chores that have to be done, singing and dancing around the dining room holding her in your arms and making her smile, and being a generally all-around silly and fun guy to spend time with. You didn't woo me with flowers, flattery, and fancy dates, telling me about living the high life in Paris. You wooed me by blowing raspberries on baby tummies and by letting me see just how much love you have inside you. I was able to let my walls down with you because I didn't feel the need to constantly defend myself anymore."
"You make me sound all fluffy and sweet."
"You are. You're so smart, but you're also funny and sarcastic and somewhat smartassy still. I like those parts of you too. I really like you and I love you. They aren't the same. It took me a while in counseling to separate some of my feelings and issues – like versus love, obligation, manipulation, and guilt versus free-will giving. I learned about gaslighting and accepting blame that isn't mine. All sorts of things. I've changed. And it took me a while to get myself in a good place. I'm still figuring myself out, but I think everyone our age is. Neither one of us is perfect and being single parents at 19 wasn't something either of us had on our bucket list at age 16."
Sebastian chuckled. "Definitely not, but just because it wasn't something we dreamed of ahead of time doesn't mean that it's not rewarding and something we actually enjoy. And we're not single dads anymore." He kissed Kurt. "I am definitely taken – very taken with you. And just so you know, I really like you too." He kissed him again, this time with passion. "I love you. I didn't say anything at first because I didn't want you to feel like I felt that way because I was lonely and you were here. That's not the reason. We could have stayed best friends who were single dads. It's not like no one at school had asked me out. I've turned down quite a few date offers because I wanted to spend time with you."
"I didn't know you had turned down dates."
Sebastian ran his hand down Kurt's arm and stopped above his elbow. "Never, ever think that I chose you just because you were here and my only option. I love you because you're you," Sebastian kissed him again. "Sometimes life throws us huge curveballs, but we swing just right and knock it out of the ballpark. That's how I feel with you."
Kurt didn't know what to say, so he kissed Sebastian. When they broke for air, he ran his hand through Sebastian's hair. No one had asked him out, but he avoided areas where students congregated so he could focus on getting as much work done as possible. And when he had free time at lunch on Fridays, he met up with Sebastian and ate with him before his early afternoon class. He also realized that it wouldn't have mattered if ten guys had asked him out, he would have turned them all down to spend time with Sebastian. "I've been going to class and between classes I've been hiding out in empty places, doing as much work as quickly as I could do it and still do it well. I've not given anyone a chance to get to know me or approach me really. I've intentionally partnered with girls when I've had to have partners – just like I did in high school, to avoid being paired with an unwilling guy. After we met up at the park that day, we just hit it off and I didn't really seek out anyone else."
"So, you're saying that I was your only choice?"
"In a way, but a good way. I'm saying that I enjoyed spending time with you. I could let my guard down and I felt comfortable around you, which isn't something I can honestly say about many people. I didn't choose you because you were the only option. You became the chosen option because I liked being around you so much that I chose being with you over spending time with other people. I think we started all of this with you telling me that you want me to be open and honest with you and not try to shield you from what I consider something potentially negative."
"Mmm hmm."
"I will do my best. I guess my request in return is to ask you to listen carefully and not fly off the handle, not that I ever seen you to it, but I have had others do it, so I'm going to expect a negative reaction even though I don't expect you to react negatively. I know that sounds weird, but when you've spent as much time as I have waiting for the other shoe to drop, the expectation is just there."
"I get it. You're ingrained reaction is to expect anyone to react negatively when you assert yourself in anyway."
"Basically, yes. You did a better job of explaining it than I did. I want you to be honest with me. I don't want you to walk on eggshells and feel like you need to hide yourself and true feelings from me. It will be something we'll just have to work on together as an issue comes up."
"I think we can do it. We've both seen the benefits of counseling. If we start having problems, we'll go see someone. I'm serious about this working. I'm far from the epitome of a mature adult, but I'm willing to learn."
Kurt kissed him. "Me too. I'm going to turn back over so we can snuggle and sleep. We have plans in the morning."
Sebastian snuggled up behind him.
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They left Friday morning after Amaline arrived. Four hours later they were back with all of Kurt's stuff, the fabric they needed to recover the vanity bench, three blank canvases to paint and hang in the playroom, and a few other miscellaneous things they needed.
Kurt put all of his clothes away while Sebastian made them lunch. When Kurt finished, he took the empty boxes back out to the garage. They sat down and ate quickly. The girls had already eaten and were in the playroom with Amaline.
After they ate, they covered the table with a vinyl summer picnic table cover they picked up from the 90% off bin at the fabric store. Kurt worked on painting the canvas a darker version of the aqua paint on the walls while Sebastian worked on the girls' laundry. Kurt used a line drawing of a sea horse on his iPad as a reference. He did a decent job doing the outline, but he struggled once he started to paint it. He managed to stay in the lines he'd drawn, but it didn't look like he wanted it to.
"We need Sam."
"Sam?"
"He's a really good artist. He could make this seahorse look amazing. I miss him."
"So invite him to come visit. We have a guest room now."
"I don't want to put him in a tough place like that."
"I thought about what you said the last time we talked about this. Don't you think it's kind of presumptuous for you to make that decision single-handedly?"
"What do you mean?"
"Has he ever broken his word to you? Ever given you any indication that he can't keep a secret?"
"No, never."
"Then, maybe you should ask him if he wants to come and tell him that it involves keeping things about your life to himself. If he wants to be a part of your life knowing that it involves keeping secrets, then he's made his own choice. If he says, 'I'd rather not', then you have your answer."
"You really wouldn't mind him coming here?"
"I wouldn't. Amaline won't be coming for the next two weeks. So, it will just be the four of us here. Maybe he could come for the weekend."
Kurt nodded. "You're sure?"
Sebastian put the laundry basket down on the floor and stepped close enough to hug Kurt. He kissed him on the neck. "I'm sure."
Kurt's face lit up. "I'm going to go call him now."
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"Hey!" Sam answered the phone cheerfully.
"Hey. How are things?"
"A little nuts. I'm glad to be back with my family. I had some crazy times in New York, but I'm done. I'm not going back. I thought maybe I could work it out with Mercedes after she came. I still love her, but she's got her mind set on touring and I thought about it a lot. I'd love to tour with her for like three months or something, just for the experience of it and to get to see a lot of the country, but that's what she wants to do, like, for a long time. I gave big city life a shot and I even made it, but it's not what I want. I want to settle down. I want to get a little place of my own, get a job doing something I don't hate, and find someone who loves me for me, you know?"
"So, you're going to stay in Kentucky?"
"Um, yeah, but not here. My dad got a job offer in Lexington. We're moving there in a couple of weeks, in time for Stevie and Stacey to start the semester at their new school. It's not Tennessee, but it's just two and a half hours from my grandparents, both sets. We're going to rent a house we found for a while. Dad doesn't want to risk buying again like we did in Lima. My mom finished those classes she needed to take and she got a position as a teacher's aide in Lexington starting in January. Now, she'll be off in the summers."
"I remember you saying that she was hoping to get on some place next fall because Stevie would be too old to come to the daycare after his birthday in August."
"Yeah. So, she's excited. She'll be able to be home when they get off the school bus and she'll be home all summer. I'm going to have to share a room with Stevie until I can afford my own place, but things have been worse than that before. I figure I can save up until August, and then get my own place."
"Sounds like a good plan. I was actually wondering if you might have time to come see me next weekend. You can come Friday or Saturday, whatever works for you and you can stay a couple of days."
"Really? You've been so secretive lately that I've wondered what's going on."
"There's just a lot I didn't know how to explain. Before you agree to come, I need you to know what whatever happens here has to stay between us. I've kept things from you. I did it because I didn't want you to know things that put you in the position of having to lie to everyone, but I shouldn't make choices for you. If you don't want to be in a position of knowing things you can't share, then I understand that. I hope to keep being your friend. I just won't be able to share some things."
"I'm not going back to New York, and I seriously doubt that anyone there will take time out of their busy lives to keep in contact with me. And even if one of them specifically asks me what I know about what you're up to, I'll tell them they should just ask you themselves. None of them knows how close we are anyway. I'm a better actor than I've ever given myself credit for. Everyone bought the 'Sam is Blaine's bestie' and no one ever once asked me about being in contact with you. Blaine got me in the 'divorce'. That's how everyone saw it. I definitely want to come see you. I've tried a bunch of times and you've always given me reasons why you couldn't."
"I know. I'll text you the address and you can let me know when you're going to arrive. Just be prepared to be surprised."
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Sebastian was still in the dining room when Kurt came back in.
"He's going to let me know when he can come next weekend." He looked down at the canvases.
"Excellent. I went ahead and painted the other two canvases aqua. I figured that having that part done would speed up the process. We can show him the three designs and he can help us."
"Thank you for saying he can come."
Sebastian took the sponge paintbrush to the sink to rinse it out and left it there in some water to soak. He rinsed and dried his hands and went back over to the table. "I want you to have friends. I want to have friends. I just don't have a good track record and honestly, neither do you. We both got bullied for who we were. I ran back to my grandparents in Paris. You had no option but to stay in Podunk, Ohio and try to survive. You became a first-class bitch and back-talked all of the bullies, until you saw no other choice but to flee to Dalton, where you finally conformed. I faked my way into the popular group in Paris and I used my newfound social clout to stay on top. I came back as a better-than-you entrée served with a side of Parisian manwhore."
Kurt laughed. He stepped closer and wrapped his arms around Sebastian.
Sebastian responded by pecking Kurt on the lips and putting his hands on Kurt's lower back. "I didn't do myself any favors. I went to Dalton for two years, a lot longer than you, and I don't have any real friends to show for it either. The closest I came to making friends with anyone was probably Nick, but he and Jeff are off at Harvard. I have nothing in common with him now. I barely had anything then. And most of your former so-called friends from Lima are so into themselves that they see everyone else in their lives as accessories or non-entities if they aren't singing their praises."
"Harsh, but fairly accurate. The rest were fair-weather friends."
"And we've both talked about how we're not ready for the people we go to school with to know that we have babies. You trust Sam and I trust you. We'll see how it goes. He may come and be completely okay with it and he may come and leave an hour later and say that he won't tell anyone, but that he doesn't want to be a part of your life anymore. It might be something in between. But from everything you've said, he deserves a chance to decide whether he wants to be part of your life, and since we're together, part of mine."
"Okay." He looked back at the table. "Once these are dry, we can move them to the study. I just thought of something that we didn't get today."
"What's that?"
"One of those walk-through baby gates to put on the hallway at the edge of their bedroom door and the playroom door. Amaline's in there with the door shut so we could finish up the house update, but if she needs to change one of them when she's here alone, we don't want the other to escape into the hallway and into the bathroom or the dining room. Once they're old enough to start to get potty trained, we can move the baby gate to the opening past the bathroom door. Otherwise, we'll have to move the playard across the hallway opening or we're going to have to baby-proof the kitchen and dining room."
"Good point. We'll get one tomorrow at Costco when we do our shopping, or we'll stop by Target on the way back. We'll research them this evening when they're asleep."
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Later that evening, they were snuggled up on the couch together listening to music and reading. Kurt was reading a website about sleeping schedules.
"I think while we're home over break, we should try to adjust their sleeping schedules. Rose is refusing her afternoon nap, but then being fussy after dinner a lot earlier than before. I think she's ready to make the three naps to two naps switch. I don't know if Aliza is ready, but we can try it. It will give us more time in the evening to do schoolwork once school starts. We'd shift some of their after-dinner playtime to when they've been taking their third nap."
"Can I see?"
Sebastian took the iPad from him and read through the article. "It's worth a shot. She is getting fussy and hard to put down for her third nap."
"We can try starting tomorrow, unless they fall asleep on the way back from your grandparents'."
"What are you going to teach Aliza to call your parents and what about Rose?"
"I already told my dad that you and Rose are family now, whether he's ready to accept it or not, I don't know. You know that Carole chose 'Mimi' already. Your grandparents are 'Grandma and Grandpa'. Do they want Aliza to call them that as well?"
"I hadn't thought about it, but I assume so."
"So, it's just my dad that needs to pick." Kurt took the iPad from Sebastian, put it to sleep, and placed it on the cushion one over from where he was sitting. He snuggled in closer to Sebastian. "I really like our room. The new bed is really comfortable and I've determined that I really like snuggling."
"Mmm. Me too."
"Ready to work on our shopping list?" Kurt tipped his head up and looked at Sebastian.
"Not quite yet. Kissing, and then the shopping list." He pressed his lips to Kurt's who hummed happily and kissed back.
"Good plan."
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Since they were both tired from all of the stuff they had worked on all week, they decided to forgo the movie they had considered watching. Kurt made them hot chocolate while Sebastian was in the shower.
"Ready to look at posters?" Sebastian asked when he came back in from the bathroom.
"Almost." He grabbed the two insulated travel mugs he had put the hot chocolate in and handed one of them to Sebastian. He reached for his iPad as well.
"What's this?" Sebastian took a sip. "Mmm. Your fabulous homemade hot chocolate. You know how much I love this. Thanks."
"You're welcome." He took a sip of his and sat it on the shelf next to him and started searching for Art Deco posters.
Sebastian lifted his arm and put it around Kurt's shoulders so he could scoot closer. He leaned in and kissed him on the temple. They spent quite a while looking through their options before making any decisions. Once they had made their selections, Sebastian filled in all of the shipping while Kurt took the insulated mugs back to the kitchen and washed them.
When he came back, he turned some slow jazz instrumental music on low, got in bed, and lay on his back waiting on Sebastian to finish up. Once he did, he turned off the lamp on his side of the bed and got under the covers.
"Come snuggle with me?"
Sebastian didn't need to be asked twice and scooted closer to Kurt.
"You can put your head on my chest, if you want. I can turn over too, if you'd rather me be the little spoon."
He didn't answer. He just scooted even closer.
Kurt wrapped his arm around Sebastian's shoulders and kissed him on top of the head. "I love you, Bas." He ran his hand up and down Sebastian's arm. "Are you okay like this?"
"It's great. It's something I had wondered about, but with no experience, I really had no idea whether I would enjoy snuggling like this or whether I would just feel silly. So many guys talked about snuggling with their girlfriends like it was some kind of chore and how all they felt the whole time they were snuggling was frustrated because they weren't having sex. But I think those guys must have been doing it all wrong or something because I definitely love it. 10/10 – would recommend."
Kurt chuckled. "I always thought I'd be uncomfortable with it because I'm not used to being touched, especially not kindly. But I've changed my mind. I love it too – with you. I feel comfortable. It's really nice." He continued to stroke Sebastian's arm.
Sebastian didn't ask the question that came to mind about why Kurt had never snuggled Blaine. He didn't want to bring it up and he wouldn't, but it did intrigue him. He tipped his head back and reached out and ran his fingers along Kurt's jaw, guiding Kurt's face towards his and kissed him. "I love you." He didn't know where to put it afterwards though and just rested it on his side.
"Mmm." Kurt hummed. "I love you too. If you don't like the music, you can change it."
"I like it. It's soothing."
Kurt noticed that Sebastian had his arm lying down his own side with his hand on his thigh. "You can put your arm on me, if you want. You don't have to, though."
"I didn't want to assume."
"I'm comfortable with you putting your arm around me or on my chest. If I don't like where it ends up when we're asleep or it's bothering me, I can move it. You can put your leg on or over mine. However you're comfortable. And if that's how you're lying now, then that's fine. I really like being close to you, but I won't push you. I just didn't want you to hold back on my account."
"So, that's an open invitation to a full-body snuggle?"
Kurt snorted. "Yes, Bas. We can snuggle any way you're comfortable."
"Well, that sounds like a challenge to figure out all of the best snuggle positions. Challenge accepted." He moved his arm and put it across Kurt's chest with his hand against the side of Kurt's neck. He ran his thumb along Kurt's cheek to his lips. "Mmm. Some very kissable lips here." He slipped his right leg over Kurt's and nudged Kurt's left leg with his knee.
"Is that a hint?"
"Can I try slipping my leg under yours?"
Kurt bent his knee, giving Sebastian room to slip his leg under his own. He tilted his head back again and turned Kurt's face towards his and kissed him. "How's this?"
"I like it."
"Me too." He went back to kissing Kurt.