Big Daddy
"Son, have you ever been in a relationship with someone that brought out the worst in you?" Tai asked.
"Brittani was annoying, and she was bad luck for my hockey team," Tai's son frowned.
"Yes, I remember her. She was annoying, but did you ever experience anyone's company, even if it was just a friend's, where just being around that person felt like a 500-pound weight on your chest? Like they were just a total mood-killer, and they really brought out bad habits in you that you thought you grew past?" Tai asked.
"Like an energy vampire? Yeah," Tai's son nodded.
"Well, as you get older, keep in mind the kind of person you pair up with. Like your mom, the person you ultimately end up with should bring out the best in you. Not like what happened to me in this period of time. Being with this girl almost made me revert to my 8-year-old self fighting with 8-year-old Matt," Tai said.
"You guys were worse as kids?" Tai's son smirked.
"You get the point. Anyways, being in quarantine didn't make things any easier with her. It was like trying to breathe underwater, except it was through masks. Either way, it was suffocating, but it doesn't have to be that way. And as much as people repeatedly told me from the get go, I wish I listened," Tai sighed.
"I can see what I could do, but... I don't know-probably, it depends... I'd like to be on top of that," Tai held his phone to ear.
"What are you going to be on top of?" Celia leaned against the wall.
"Uh, I'll have to call you back. You know where to reach me," Tai hung up his phone.
"Who was that?" Celia narrowed her eyes.
"It's nothing. Just an assignment," Tai shook his head.
"Okay, I'll check if you don't mind," Celia grabbed his phone and scrolled through it. "You liar! You were talking to Sora! How could you?!" she threw the phone to the ground.
"What the heck?! I need that for work!" Tai yelled.
"Work or for cheating? Why are you talking to Sora this late at night anyways?" Celia growled.
"If you must know, my friend is going through a tough time and we're all trying to help him," Tai took in a deep breath.
"Likely story, try to talk to your secret girlfriend now without a phone," Celia stomped on Tai's phone. "By the way, you're sleeping on the couch!"
"That's not a surprise," Tai muttered as he wistfully looked at his cellphone. He picked up his work laptop and logged onto his iMessenger. It was the only communication device Celia didn't have the balls to smash, probably because of the government agency's logo emblazoned on the laptop cover.
Tai: hey Sora, GF threw a BF and smashed my phone :(
Sora: Wot the heck?! Is that even legal?
Tai: does it look like she cares? btw, I'm banished to the couch *again*
Tai: I don't think I slept in a real bed in weeks *crying emoji*
Sora: are you even happy? ur texting me thru a laptop :(
Tai: I'll pick up a burner phone on my way to work tomorrow.
Sora: Taaaai... *facepalm*
Tai: Soraaaaa...
Sora: I'm just saying idt u should be this scared of ur gf :|
Tai: I'm not ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Sora: ok, if u insist. Keep me in the loop, gn *peace sign emoji*
Tai: *moon emoji*
Tai closed the laptop and rubbed his eyes. "One day at a time, one day at a time..."
"Really? Are you sure?...Okay, I mean come on over, I don't think it would be a problem," Sora rubbed her temples.
"What's wrong?" Mimi whispered.
"Okay, see you soon. Bye," Sora hung up the phone and took in a huge breath.
"Is everything okay?" Mimi raised an eyebrow.
"I'm texting Tai through a laptop because his girlfriend broke his phone, and you're not going to believe this, but I was talking to Joe," Sora said.
"Wow, weren't you a busy girl," Mimi remarked.
"He reached out to me because someone left a child on his doorstep and claimed he was the father!" Sora yelled.
"What?! That has to be a joke!" Mimi gasped.
"I really hope so, because that's just really cruel!" Sora shook her head.
*knockknockknockknockknock*
"That's probably Joe or Tai right now," Sora rushed to the door and looked through the peephole.
"Help help help!" Joe ran inside as soon as Sora let him in.
"Hello to you too Joe," Mimi smirked.
"Hi," Joe curtly said before he looked back to Sora. "Sora, please help!"
"Joe, what do you want me to do?" Sora looked at him incredulously.
"I don't know, but I can't take a random kid into my apartment! I would look like a creep!" Joe gasped.
"True, but he does look like you...you could get away with passing it off as your son," Mimi pointed at the boy.
"You're not helping!" Joe and Sora said in unison.
"Mimi, can you keep the boy busy somehow? Get him something to eat? Watch some TV, me and Joe need to talk privately," Sora said sternly.
"Okay! Hey you, do you like cheese puffs?" Mimi crouched down to talk to the little boy.
"Yeah," he bashfully said.
"Awesome! Now how would you like to watch a show called Paternity Court?" Mimi smiled.
"Mimi," Sora said disapprovingly.
"Just kidding! It was a joke, we're watching Cartoon Network," Mimi said.
"What's paternity?" the little boy said.
"Something that grownups talk about when they're way older. You'll understand when you're as tall as your daddy," Mimi smirked at Joe.
"Go watch TV," Sora shooed Mimi away.
"Okay, leaving!" Mimi took the boy and they walked off.
"Sorry about that, Joe. So have you thought about what your next steps are?" Sora put her hands on her hips.
"I don't even know where to begin!" Joe leaned over the kitchen counter.
"Maybe first thing we should probably do is contact the police. I don't think it's normal- or even moral to leave a kid at a doorstep like this, especially in the beginning of a pandemic. What could happen to the boy?" Sora asked.
"I guess you're right," Joe nodded.
"Also, we should probably see about getting you a paternity test. Do you remember sleeping with anyone around five years back, or however old he looks to be?" Sora asked.
"Coco...," Joe gasped.
"Who's Coco?" Sora leaned in closer to Joe.
"She's bad news, that's what she is," Joe huffed.
Six years ago...
"Come on Joe, we passed our first out of many practicals! We got to celebrate!" a blond handsome guy raised a shot glass.
"Take it easy, Dr. McDreamy. It only gets harder from here," a guy with curly, copper hair scowled.
"That's comforting news. I got a B... I think at this point, maybe I should just be a chiropractor or a dentist," Joe sighed.
"Stop that quitter talk! We're just first-years! We've got a lot of room for improvement!" the blond guy said.
"You don't understand, I'm supposed to be an Asian, not a B-sian," Joe looked down at his shot glass.
"Hahahaha, you're hilarious!" the guy with the curly hair cackled.
"It's not so funny when your dad constantly tells you that," Joe frowned.
"Well, he's not here! We all deserve to blow off some steam tonight! It's the weekend and we've been working hard all semester! I think we should have a little play time!" the blond guy said.
"I barely agree with everything you say- in fact, it scares me that you will become a doctor, but I will drink to that," the curly-haired guy gulped his shot of tequila.
"Why the hell not? Who cares," Joe downed his liquor too.
"Yes! That's what we're talking about! Another round!" the blond guy excitedly said.
"Hey, who's that girl over there? She keeps looking this way," the curly-haired guy jerked his thumb at a pale girl with long, dark blue hair.
"Don't bother with her, she's bad news," the blond guy scoffed.
"Do you know her?" Joe asked.
"I was talking her up last week and she stole my phone and the cash out of my wallet. I filed a police report but since I didn't know her name, I couldn't do anything," the blond guy squinted at the girl.
"She keeps looking this way," the curly-headed guy whispered.
"I'm going to head to the bathroom. She's making me uneasy," Joe drank another shot of tequila and got up from the booth.
"Watch out for the girl in the wolf tattoo," the blond guy said.
"I don't see a tattoo on her. Where is it?" The curly-haired guy squinted.
"If you see it, you're way too close," the blond guy warned.
"Konichiwa," the raven-haired girl said to Joe as he passed by her.
"Excuse me?" Joe paused.
"I was looking at your group of friends and I couldn't help but notice how handsome you were," the girl said in Japanese.
"M-m-m-me?" Joe stammered.
"Yes you," the girl stroked his chest playfully.
"Uh...," Joe stammered.
"The name's Coco," the girl softly kissed him on the lips. "What's your name?"
"Joe...," Joe looked at her in surprised.
"So, you have any plans?" Coco smiled at him seductively.
"I...," Joe glanced at his table, where he was thrown mixed signals. "Don't know..."
"Well, let me help fix that," Coco tugged Joe by his belt and pulled him out of the bar.
"Oh Joe, you didn't fall for some sleazy girl at the bar, did you? I could see Matt or Tai- heck, even Izzy, but I expected more from you," Sora sighed.
"Sorry, but I'm just a degenerate like any other heterosexual man. I just turned legally able to drink, I was stressed, and let me just say I don't think I've worked harder than I did until that night. That woman had an appetite that was insatiable to say at the least," Joe shook his head.
"And look where it could have possibly landed you! I could say that it might not be your kid, but he's a carbon copy minus the mini band shirt and chains. Who dresses a kid like that in the first place?" Sora disapprovingly said.
"So what do I do?" Joe asked.
"We definitely have to call the cops, this isn't normal," Sora shook her head.
"I don't know if I'm ready to be a dad! I can barely handle parenting myself!" Joe sighed.
"Joe, you're not giving yourself enough credit! Remember those times at summer camp, or basically any time growing up? Dad was your nickname," Sora said.
"That's right, Mom," Joe smirked.
"Hey, we weren't trying to be sticks in the mud, we were just trying to be responsible. The rest of them were just childish, of course we were the secondary parents," Sora shook her head.
"Mooooom, the kid wants to watch Nickelodeon but we're not finished with Cartoon Network!" Mimi trudged into the kitchen.
"Mimi, he's the guest and he's younger. Let him watch what he wants," Sora wagged her finger.
"As long as it's age-appropriate," Joe looked at her sternly.
"Okay, fine...," Mimi whined and walked away.
"See, I don't think we've lost our touch yet," Sora squeezed Joe's shoulders.
"No, I don't want that here! It's gonna get mixed up with our stuff!" Celia pulled a bag of granola out of a cupboard and tossed it on the countertop.
"Why do you have to make a mountain out of a molehill from everything?" Tai huffed.
"I just don't think it's right! His stuff is going to take up our entire apartment and you're too much of a nice guy to say anything," Celia growled.
"It's fine, and his stuff is not 'taking up the entire apartment'. You should speak for yourself, you never pick up after yourself," Tai gruffly said.
"Are you calling me a slob?!" Celia yelled.
"I ain't calling you a clean freak," Tai mockingly said.
"If it bothers you so much, then pick up a mop once in a while!" Celia yelled.
"I DO! You just fuck it up all over again! Are you a child or are you just on your period?!" Tai screamed.
"Hey, is everything okay?" Jonesy timidly snuck out from his room.
"You're a goddamn idiot, Tai! Go sleep on the couch!" Celia went to the bedroom and threw some pillows at the living room and slammed the door.
"At least she gave me some pillows this time," Tai muttered.
"If this is what you call normal, then I don't want to put up with that," Jonesy shook his head.
"Sorry about that. If you'd like, we can see if we can find other living arrangements for you. I know this isn't what you-"
"Pause, not what I mean but I appreciate it. I'm just saying you shouldn't have to put up with that. Does she make you genuinely happy? When was the last time you guys truly got along and had a good time without any arguments? And is this something you want to keep putting up with long term? If this is only the beginning, how is it going to progress as time goes on? Do you think it'll get any better from here?" Jonesy asked.
"I guess I have a lot of thinking to do," Tai nodded.
"I'm sorry, but your friend was kind of right. She does remind me of the dragon from Shrek. I'm sorry," Jonesy bit his lip and went back to his room.
"Hey, I hope that if you're taking a book, you have a book to leave behind. This is called take a book, leave a book," Tori snuck up behind TK.
"I uh...would an instruction manual for my brother's car count?" TK turned red.
"No," Tori glared at him.
"I'm sorry. I just didn't bring any books, I packed in a hurry," TK bashfully said.
"That's fine. I have something that I was planning to leave for the take a book, leave a book, but I could give it to you instead. You could read it, or add it to the collection. I just don't want the integrity of the take a book to be ruined by a potential thief," Tori handed TK a book.
"Thanks. If I assume correctly, you take your reading seriously," TK raised an eyebrow.
"Maybe I do," Tori coyly said.
"I like to read too. I haven't done any reading in a bit but maybe now I'll have a chance to catch up," TK held up the book.
"That book was pretty decent, but my adventure was done with it. I think it's time to pass it onto someone else who might enjoy it," Tori said.
"That's very nice," TK looked at her in awe. "Are you a writer?"
"No, I could never. Reading is good enough for me. I don't think I'm creative enough to write stories," Tori shook her head.
"I don't believe that. Anyone could write stories. You just pull stuff from your life if you wanted to," TK said.
"Me, a small-town girl, big fish in little pond? Isn't that a bit Mary Sue?" Tori smirked.
"There has to be more to you than that, I know it," TK said.
"Really? You think? I say I'm pretty boring," Tori shrugged.
"I can guarantee you that you're not. How about I get to figure you out more over some coffee at that place across the street?" TK said.
"That sounds nice. I do like my coffee," Tori smiled.
"Hey Tai, nice surprise," Mimi yawned.
"What do you mean? I do like my coffee," Tai flicked the plexiglass screen in front of him. "Nice setup here."
"Yeah, if you say so. I call it mixed signals. We spent a couple of hours moving the furniture out of the restaurant so no one would hang around and yet, we had to kick out the occasional up-and-coming 'screenwriter'. They'll sit on the floor," she shook her head.
"Wow, that sucks...also I feel bad for Jonesy. I hope his first night wasn't too bad," Tai timidly said.
"What happened?" Mimi raised an eyebrow.
"This," Tai pulled out his broken cellphone.
"Oh yeah...Sora told me a little about that," Mimi raised an eyebrow.
"She accused me of cheating on her. Like I would dare," Tai huffed.
"Tai...," Mimi whispered.
"I don't know...when she did that, I almost wanted to, I almost saw red. I was tempted to smash something of hers like for revenge, like her makeup or something," Tai trembled.
"That's not okay, Tai...," Mimi shook her head.
"I know, it's wrong... I don't know what to do. All I know is that I feel like an ugly person lately. Like angry, mad, hostile. I don't want to be with someone who makes me feel like garbage. I want to be with someone who can make me be the best I can be. And someone I can help make them be the best versions of themselves too. I'm clearly not the best for Celia either," Tai sighed.
"If you ask me, she doesn't deserve your pinky toe," Mimi put her hands on her hips.
"I'm flattered, but Celia's not that bad," Tai gasped.
"If you say so," Mimi hummed.
"Seriously, she's not a bad person. Maybe we're just not good for each other...," Tai softly said.
"I think you really should think about things quickly. Who's to say how long this quarantine will last, but one thing's for sure is it's not fair for Jonesy to be holed up in his room as long as possible because he's uncomfortable. We're all uncomfortable, that should tell you something," Mimi bit her lip.
"Was it really that bad?" Tai blushed.
"He's not going to say anything. He's young and he needs a place to stay, but keep re-evaluating that relationship you and Celia have. Here, this is on the house. Just go before she tracks you down," Mimi slid a coffee through the plexiglass.
"Thanks," Tai stuffed a couple of dollar bills in the tip jar and bashfully walked out of the cafe.
"You know what? You remind me of me, I like you," Matt grinned.
"How do I remind you of yourself?" Tess looked at him incredulously.
"Yes Matt, please explain. I could think of a couple of reasons but probably not the same ones as you," Izzy smirked.
"We both play guitar, we're both pretty good looking with nice hair, and I bet you're a lady killer like me. Speaking of, any hotties in this town?" Matt leaned over the back of his chair.
"Eh, it's pretty slim pickings here. I mess around with one girl but-"
*beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep*
"Crap, Yolei's FaceTiming me. Hold on," Matt picked up his phone. "Hey betch, what's up?"
"I got some gossip for you!" Yolei excitedly said. "Oh, did you make it to Philly in one piece by the way?"
"Actually we made it to Shimmer Falls safe and sound. So say hi to Izzy," Matt angled his phone toward Izzy.
"Oh my God, Izzy! Hi! Don't you look so handsome? I miss you!" Yolei gushed.
"I miss you guys too," Izzy turned red.
"And this is our new friend Tess. He's Izzy's bandmate," Matt said.
"Holy crap, aren't you an order of tall, dark and handsome," Yolei whistled.
"Thanks, you're pretty sweet-looking yourself. I like that e-girl vibe," Tess bit his lip.
"Alright, eyes back in your sockets kids!" Matt tapped on the screen. "So what's going on?"
"Did you know that Joe might be a dad?!" Yolei exclaimed.
"What?!" Izzy coughed.
"This sounds like a personal matter between the three of you, I'll let you go. See you around sweet cheeks," Tess flashed a peace sign to the camera and walked out of Izzy's room.
"Oh my God, he's hot! I need to get down there!" Yolei gushed.
"No, you need to stay in New York and watch over the apartment," Matt sternly said.
"I mean duh, but Jesus he's an Adonis. And you guys play music together? When did you start playing music Izzy? Can I hear you play?" Yolei asked.
"Hey, can we get back on track? So you said Joe might be a dad? Why? Did he knock up the blonde chick?" Matt snapped his fingers.
"I wish! Apparently someone left a kid at his doorstep and yeah, that's what they've been trying to figure out all night," Yolei said.
"Man, I leave the city for a couple of hours and I miss out on this action!" Matt whined.
"I mean, totally unfair but it's not like you'd be helpful in the situation anyways. You'd probably be a wise ass the entire time," Yolei said.
"That's not true!" Matt gasped.
"Don't look at me," Izzy shrugged.
"It's okay, that just means that we'll have less distractions, we can be more productive. Even Tai is getting focused, and I couldn't be prouder!" Yolei said.
"So you guys don't need me?" Matt looked hurt.
"Nope, you're perfect staying where you are! It's much better that way!" Yolei said, oblivious to her words.
"Well, I wasn't in any rush to go back anyways. I'll let you go," Matt hung up his phone.
"Hey, Yolei didn't mean it that way," Izzy timidly said.
"Then what else did she mean? That all I do is get in the way? That they don't need me?" Matt shook his head.
"For what it's worth, I need you. You guys came at the right time," Izzy took in a deep breath and laid down in his bed.
"Is everything good?" Matt sat up in his chair.
"I'm not sure," Izzy stared blankly at the ceiling. "But I'm glad you came."
At the police station...
"So we were able to analyze footage from your apartment complex and find the identity of the woman who left the child at your doorstep," a police sheriff said.
"Oh that's great news! Isn't it, Joe?" Sora squeezed Joe's hands.
"Not so fast. We've been trying to find her for 16 years now," the sheriff sighed.
"What? How? She looks too young to be on the run for that long," Sora squinted at a blurry photograph of surveillance footage.
"That's because she's been trouble since she and her grandfather came here. Kumiko Kimura, but goes by Coco, Kiki, Kitsune, basically anything that isn't her real name. Her grandfather was a mobster, and she learned his ways pretty early on. She's a thief and sells everything she steals back in on the black market in Koreatown, and that's just listing the tame offenses," the security officer said.
"So you're saying he's probably not going back to his real mother?" Sora subtly pointed to the blue-haired child sitting on a chair 50 feet away.
"Are you kidding? We're cops, not stupid! We're not going to give the kid back to an unstable fraudster," the sheriff looked at her in disbelief.
"What's gonna happen?" Joe finally had the courage to muster.
"Well, we're just waiting to get the results back on your DNA test, but if you ask me, it looks like it's unnecessary," the sheriff squinted at the boy.
"Can you be more specific?" Sora asked.
"Well, for one thing, once we catch Ms. Kimura, she'll be locked up for a long time- if not deported. As for the kid, if he's yours, congrats. If not, congrats. Judging from your face, it looks like you're praying for a certain outcome. I'll be right back," the sheriff knocked on the table and walked away.
"Wow, that was helpful," Sora scoffed.
"I've never been so scared," Joe glanced back at the little boy. "What if he's mine? What do I do next? I'm not prepared, I don't even have an apartment big enough! I don't have a change of clothes for him, I don't have anything!"
"Joe, what about how he's feeling? In the past 48 hours, he's had his mom leave him at a stranger's doorway, and he's been surrounded by strange people since then," Sora said.
"You're right...but I can't do it alone," Joe whimpered.
"You're not alone. You have all of us. Just think, this is the chance to be the adult that you needed when you were a kid," Sora said.
"What do you mean?" Joe looked at her.
"Well, what things do you wish you could change about your parents?" Sora said. "For example, I wish my mom was more understanding, open-minded, and not so overbearing. She was a good mom with good intentions, but it's all about balance. What about you?"
"I guess I wish I felt more safe...in general. I want to be able to come to them for anything, if I fail, they would help and not criticize me. I want to feel accepted," Joe looked down at his hands.
"Okay, that's a good first step. Make him feel accepted," Sora nodded.
"Alright, I got the results," the sheriff came back with a manila envelope and opened it.
"You're gonna do great," Sora grabbed Joe's hands and smiled at him.
"This is absolutely absurd! You skipped work for this?" Yolei shook her head.
"Are you going to help me or not?" Tai grumbled.
"I don't know if this is something I can even help you out with. For crying out loud, we're shopping for shitty cell phones in a Walmart in New Jersey so your girlfriend won't run into you. Newsflash, no phone will hold up to your psycho girlfriend's tantrums- especially not a cheap drug-dealer phone," Yolei crossed her arms.
"I just need something to hold me over until I figure out my next step. Can you at least help me find something that will hold up to a couple of bangs?" Tai sighed.
"Here," Yolei grabbed a package. "This is one is rated high for first-time phone users for durability and battery life. Doesn't have a lot of the standard features that come with most smartphones but it's a lifeline."
"What kind of Teletubby phone is this? There's a picture of an old lady and a five-year-old on the package and the phone is bright yellow," Tai frowned.
"It's the Ladybug Gen 4, and it comes in four colours. They have green, purple, and red...which is sold out," Yolei sucked her teeth.
"I'll keep the yellow," Tai groaned.
"Just remember, this is only as temporary as you allow it to be," Yolei nodded.
"Why does everyone keep telling me that in different words?" Tai asked.
"Maybe you should think about that! There's gotta be a brain somewhere underneath that hair of yours," Yolei smirked.
"Can I just say I'm happy you're here to help out? It's hard to keep up with all of these orders," Duke wiped his hands on his apron.
"Tell me about it," Izzy sat down at the barstool.
"How come you never told me you could cook?" Duke crossed his arms.
"Because I can't. I just know how to do the basics. Slicing, dicing, boil, grill. Simple," Izzy said.
"Well, that's all it really takes to run this kitchen. I'm not asking you to flambé steaks. In case you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly running a Michelin restaurant," Duke snorted.
"I guess you're right," Izzy said.
"So what's up with your friends? Those blond guys?" Duke raised an eyebrow.
"They're my friends from New York. They came to visit me," Izzy said.
"Interesting," Duke gave him a slight nod.
"Why?" Izzy asked.
"Well, I see the sloppy-haired one follows Tori around like a lost puppy, and the feminine-looking one clings to my nephew. There's no funny business going on, is there?" Duke stared at Izzy.
"I don't know what you're getting at, and I don't think I want to even attempt to start. They're just here to visit me, that's all I know!" Izzy shrugged.
"Okay, if you insist. Anyways, shop is closed. I'll see you in the morning," Duke said.
"Goodnight," Izzy gulped. He made his way back to the hotel where he was greeted by no other than the owner.
"Hiiii...," Adelaide grinned.
"Hi," Izzy said uneasily. "Here's the leftover pastries from today?"
"Oh you're so sweet, kitten! I will take those, but that's not why I said hi, but keep these coming," Adelaide took a white paper bag from Izzy's hand.
"What's going on? First Duke, now you? Is there something I'm missing out on?" Izzy asked.
"Actually, you're going to experience your first clandestine election," Adelaide smirked.
"What? What do you mean by that?" Izzy gasped.
"So Ms. Natty has noticed some strange activity going on since your friends came to visit, and she made these buttons at Burke's print shop. We have Team Toss, Team Tori, and Team Mess," Adelaide held some buttons.
"What?!" Izzy hissed.
"Uh, don't tell me you're into Team Me-K, we only made one button for that, and Burke printed that out for himself. He's obviously in the minor-"
"Hold on, are you guys having 'shipping wars' over Tori, Tess, and my friends?" Izzy said incredulously.
"I suggested adding you into the pool, but then they laughed and printed this button out. Team Azzy, isn't it so cute? I can get another one printed out," Adelaide pointed to a button on her chest.
"Please take that off. And why? Are you guys this bored that you're discussing the love lives of your children?" Izzy gasped.
"Hey, don't direct the anger at me, go get mad at Ms. Natty and Burke! They're the idiots who started it," Adelaide put her hands on her hips.
"And you're not helping things. I'll confiscate the buttons please," Izzy held his palm up.
"Fine," Adelaide pulled campaign buttons out of her pocket and handed them to Izzy.
"And I want that one too," Izzy pointed at her shirt.
"Fine. You guys never let me have fun," Adelaide pouted and reluctantly gave him her 'Team Azzy' button.
"Believe me, I will have a word with those two! They're way too old to be acting like high schoolers," Izzy shook his head.
"Go ahead, they should be gossiping in her room," Adelaide said and walked away.
"Unbelievable, I guess no one grows out of it, do they-" Izzy muttered to himself.
"Hey Izzy, we were thinking about doing a change to the set list for the virtual jam this Friday?" Matt peeked his head out of the door.
"Okay, what did you guys have in mind?" Izzy shoved the campaign buttons in his pocket.
"We were thinking about something different than we usually do. We wanted to do something fun, not so emo," Tess said.
"You want to do something not melancholy," Izzy raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah, you only live once. Might as well have fun before you find out we're locked up indoors for the rest of the calendar year or something. That would suck, right?" Tess scoffed.
"You've got a point. So did you think of any songs?" Izzy said.
"Come on in, check it," Matt waved Izzy inside his room.
"Oh, you guys have electronic instruments," Izzy bit his lip.
"Yeah, isn't it neat. Wham whaaam whaaaa," Tess played with a synthesizer.
"Tess, on one, two, three...," Matt snapped his fingers.
"Breakfast at Tiffany's and bottles of bubbles/girls with tattoos who like getting in trouble-"
"I think I heard enough. You guys can play this song without me, it's not something that I don't think I could bring myself to play anyways," Izzy said.
"Why? Don't be a stick in the mud!" Matt whined.
"I just don't like this poppy kind of music," Izzy shook his head.
"Are you still gonna perform at least?" Tess asked.
"I bet you it'll be a Strokes song, won't it be?" Matt smirked.
"What's wrong with The Strokes? You like The Strokes," Izzy said.
"They're alright, but I wouldn't call them The Beatles," Matt shrugged.
"Dude, the Beatles are overrated," Tess scoffed. "Now, don't let some dummy who thinks the Beatles is the gold standard tell you what to perform. Izzy, what do you plan to do?"
"Uh, maybe Smashing Pumpkins?" Izzy blurted.
"What?" Matt and Tess looked at each other in confusion.
"Stop judging me! By the way, the town is secretly voting for their favorite couples between you guys and Tori. And Burke is even creepier than I thought cause he has a Me-K button," Izzy tossed the buttons on the floor and ran out of the room.
"Dude, that's a really weird reaction. We just thought Smashing Pumpkins was a random choice," Tess shrugged.
"Just as random as Team Azzy," Matt smirked.
"I'm just pissed that this is even a thing. I'm not only upset at the fact that it looks like your little bro is making moves on my girl, but do we look gay together?" Tess frowned.
"Tori's your girl?" Matt raised an eyebrow.
"Kinda...we're not together right now, but we're...it's complicated," Tess huffed.
"Is it because you fell for my charming looks?" Matt heckled.
"Honestly, I would think from between you and Izzy, you would be the one more likely to piss off your friends to the point of exile," Tess flicked a button at Matt.
"Nah, I just don't care what they think," Matt scoffed. "Now how about we get back to work, baby?"
"Don't be so loud! People are going to think you're serious!" Tess growled.
"It's a joke, you idiots! Me and Tess are not gay for each other so you can all knock it off!" Matt yelled.
"So Jason, what are your favorite colors?" Joe gulped.
"I like...grey," the little boy said.
"That's an interesting choice," Joe raised an eyebrow.
"Grey is right in the middle. You can't see the dirty, but it's not scary dark," the little boy said.
"Do you like other colors?" Sora asked,
"No. Just grey," the boy said.
"What do you like to play with?" Sora asked.
"Do you have poker cards? I play cracks," the boy said.
"Do you mean craps?" Mimi dropped her magazine to the floor.
"My mom said I'm not allowed to say that word," the boy said.
"Of course the thieving criminal cares about swear words," Joe mumbled.
"When Mimi wants to help, of course it's not helpful," Sora muttered at the same time.
"I heard that and I will go to my room. I tried," Mimi shrugged.
"What did you like to do in your free time?" Sora asked.
"Me and my mom used to play scavenger hunt! She would tell me a list of stuff to find and if we found all the things on the list, I could have a happy meal at night! Sometimes I didn't get everything and she still surprised me," Jason smiled.
"Oh my God," Sora and Joe gasped.
"The poor boy!" Sora shook her head.
"I know, that's so many happy meals. That's so bad for your health," Joe grimaced.
"I think you're missing a huge point...," Sora sighed. "Okay, things are going to be a little different here now that you're with your dad. For one thing, we're gonna make sure you get cleaned up and brush your teeth every day."
"Noooooo no no, I don't wanna!" Jason wailed.
"Trust me, I don't want to either. I feel like if I'm not careful, I'll end up on a list," Joe muttered.
"Stop it, you're just trying to be a dad," Sora whispered.
"I dunno, I still feel weird about the grown men, little child dynamic-"
"Weren't you going to be a pediatrician?" Sora asked.
"That was until I remembered kids were just mini adults, except less disgusting. At least kids remember to wipe their own ass," Joe frowned.
"What adults have you been dealing with?" Sora made a face.
"You don't even want to know," Joe shuddered.
"Where have you been?"
"I took the long way home, okay?" Tai walked past Celia and into his room.
"Why? Am I just that dreadful that you would rather be outside in that zombie land than safe at home with me?!" Celia screamed.
"I don't think you know what the word safe means," Tai paced back and forth. "I'll be back in a few."
"Fat chance! You leave this apartment, and I'll change the locks!" Celia threatened.
"Then do it. I dare you. I bet the landlord would be pleased," Tai said as he headed toward the door.
"You're an idiot!" Celia threw a shoe at his direction but Tai closed the door in time. He didn't know where to run but he couldn't stay at his place any longer.
"...And our lives are forever changed/We will never be the same/The more you change the less you feel...," Izzy quietly strummed to his guitar.
*knock knock*
"Who is it?" Izzy paused.
"It's TK."
"Come on in," Izzy said.
"Awesome," TK timidly walked in.
"What's going on?" Izzy asked.
"Sooo...I think you're probably aware that we're the talk of the town," TK rubbed his hands together.
"Yep. So what do you want?" Izzy impatiently tapped his fingers against his guitar.
"Do you think she's worth it?" TK asked.
"Tori?" Izzy asked.
"Yes! I don't think I've met anyone like her! We have so much in common, and I feel like I need to hold on to every moment when I'm with her," TK said.
"I...I- don't you think you might be getting carried away?" Izzy asked.
"Why? Is she bad news?" TK looked concerned.
"I don't mean to burst your bubble, but she and Tess do have a thing. They might not be together right now, but who's to say what they'll be next week," Izzy warned.
"Yeah, she told me about Tess and she said she's so over him," TK flicked his hand.
"Even if that may be the case, don't you think you might be getting invested a little too soon? You can't possibly know everything about her in such a short amount of time," Izzy said.
"Forget it, maybe you were the wrong person to talk to. I definitely can't talk to my brother, cause he's all 'hit it and quit it', but you're not any better. What? You expect me to get to know someone for 26 years before you decide to kiss them?" TK scoffed.
"I-I-I get out!" Izzy yelled.
"Just so you know, I sle-ahem, it's not important. I'm gonna go," TK turned red.
"Hold on, you what?" Izzy put his guitar down and walked towards TK.
"I...saved 15 percent on Matt's car insurance by switching him to Geico and the bastard never noticed so I'm gonna have to have a word with him! Good night!" TK left the room and slammed the door in Izzy's face. Izzy sat back down on his chair but he couldn't concentrate with his guitar. He was too focused on trying to figure out what TK was going to say until he backtracked, but what was it that he was going to say and why did he stop?
"I'm just a kid who's four/Each day I grow some more/I like exploring, I'm Caillouuuu...!"
"Oh no...," Joe jumped up from his dining room table, grabbed the remote and changed the channel.
"AHHHHH!" Jason immediately threw himself onto the floor and pounded his fists and kicked against the floor.
"Why are you doing this?" Joe said hysterically.
"My show! My show! Gimmie my show!" Jason screamed with an almost demonic gruff tone.
"Uhh...the TV is broken. I will call the cable company?" Joe squeaked.
"I want my Caillou!" Jason yelled.
"Oh my goodness, shut the hell up!" Joe pulled Jason into the bathroom and locked him inside.
"Ahhh! Let me out!" Jason pounded on the door.
"Sora, I need help!" Joe whispered into his phone.
"What happened? Is everything okay?" Sora gasped.
"I don't think I'm ready to be a parent! I locked the kid in the bathroom!" Joe hissed.
"You what? Why?!" Sora said in shock.
"I heard the Caillou song playing and I saw online that it's a bad show for child development. Of course, it's the one show the little bastard likes...but I changed the channel and he threw a fit so I locked him in the bathroom. I panicked!" Joe wheezed.
"It's okay Joe, just take it one step at a time. You'll be fine! Why don't you switch it to a different TV show that he might like? And maybe when I am done with my work, we can figure out the parental controls to block Caillou," Sora said.
"Okay, fine. But I won't know how to solve any other situations. For example, he only wants to wear his Satan clothes or his pajamas. I can't get him to dress like a normal person, he's so fussy! Or his diet is completely garbage too! I think he eats more McDonald's than Mimi and Tai combined! This is hopeless, Sora! Hopeless!" Joe whined.
"You know Joe, you have to stop being so pessimistic and selling yourself short. You can do this. And remember, you have all of us to help you out, especially me. You're not alone. Like that saying, it takes a village to raise a child," Sora said.
*beepbeep beepbeep*
"Oh no...that's Madeleine on my call waiting. I haven't even told her about Jacob yet. I don't know how she'll react," Joe said.
"I don't know...if she really loves you, it won't matter?" Sora shocked her teeth.
"Get real! Do you really think most girls want to be a stepmother, especially so unexpectedly?" Joe wheezed.
"You never know unless you break the news," Sora sighed.
"I mean I can't hide it from her forever," Joe bit his thumb. "This is such horrible timing.
"GIMME CAILLOU!"
"Gimme sweet, sweet death," Joe whispered.